miKmSmfim 


m^mea&s&'SK 


/   <naA^LAr-is\ 
(7  i 


From  photograph  taken  by  JOHN  W.  CARVER,  Greenville,  Ohio. 


He  Would  Have  Me  Be  Brave. 


A  STORY  TAKEN   FROM  LIFE. 


FRANCES  I.  KATZENBERGER. 


DAYTON,  OHIO: 

PRKSS  ()}•'  THK  CRONKWEG   PRINTING  COMPANY. 


COPYRIGHT  BY 
FRANCES  I.  KATZENBERGER, 


Stack 
Annex 

PS 


(S7  In 


TO 

MISS  JOSKPHIXK  WKBSTER, 

To    \VHOSK    KINDNESS    AND    WORDS     OK     ENCOURAGEMENT 
I    O\VK    Ml'CH, 

I   APFKCTIOXATKLY  DHDICATH 
THIS  HOOK. 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I.                                      ''AUG. 
Would  he  live 9 

CHAPTER  II. 
How  would  she  take  it  ? 17 

CHAPTER  III. 
The  burial  and  search  for  pupils 26 

CHAPTER  IV. 
Tommy's  disclosures 40 

CHAPTER  V. 
The  meeting  of  the  sewing  circle 59 

CHAPTER  VI. 
The  comparison 72 

CHAPTER  VII. 
The  arrival S2 

CHAPTER  VIII. 
Fred.    Alton 90 

CHAPTER   IX. 
Mary  Grey  relates  her  story 99 

CHAPTER  X. 
Should  she  be  allowed  to  remain  in  Church 109 

CHAPTER   XI. 
The  ladies  of  the  Church  visit  Mrs.  Grey 117 

CHAPTER  XII. 
An  offer  of  a  home 126 

CHAPTER    XIII. 
A  search  for  rooms 135 

CHAPTER  XIV. 
The  sale 140 


vi  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  XV.                                        PAGE. 
Mrs.  Grey  receives  an  answer  to  her  letter 146 

CHAPTER  XVI. 
Tommy's  trials   1 54 

CHAPTER  XVII. 
Still  trying  to  decide  the  question 17° 

CHAPTER  XVIII. 
Mrs.  Grey's  first  visit  to  the  countrv 185 

CHAPTER  XIX. 
The  conversation J9^ 

CHAPTER  XX. 
The  return  to  the  city 208 

CHAPTER  XXI. 
Mary  Grey's  experience  as  a  writer 214 

CHAPTER   XXII. 
The  sleigh  ride 225 

CHAPTER  XXIII. 
The  drive 233 

CHAPTER  XXIV. 
The  dream 246 

CHAPTER  XXV. 
The  disappointment 253 

CHAPTER  XXVI. 
Mrs.  Grey's  duties  in  the  city 261 

CHAPTER  XXVII. 
Mary  Grey  seeks  employment 267 

CHAPTER  XXVIII. 
An  hour  with  the  dead 279 

CHAPTER  XXIX. 
Mrs.  Grey  had  gone  to  Europe ...    286 

CHAPTER  XXX. 
Tommy's  plans 297 

CHAPTER  XXXI. 
Tommy  tells  what  he  knows 317 


CONTEXTS.  Vll 

CIIAPTKR  XXXII.                                    PAGE. 
The  trip 326 

CHAPTKR  XXXIII. 
The  talk  on  deck    334 

CHAPTKR  XXXIV. 
The  return 342 

CHAPTKR   XXXV. 
Mrs.  Grey  visits  Cloverdale 351 

CIIAPTKR  XXXVI. 
Dr.  Knod's  hobby 363 

CIIAPTKR    XXXVII. 
Naming  the  baby 374 

CIIAPTKR  XXXVIII. 
The  conclusion 387 


CHAPTER   I. 

WOULD     HK     1,1  VE? 

THE  little  town  of  Cloverdale  was  naturally  a  quiet 
place ;  but  on  this  bright  afternoon  in  June  it  was 
more  quiet  than  usual.  Even  the  bees  that  had  strayed 
from  the  surrounding  clover  fields  ( from  which  the  town 
no  doubt  had  derived  its  name )  had  a  solemn  tone  to 
their  naturally  busy  hum.  And  the  village  people  with 
curious  and  awe -struck  faces,  were  gathered  in  little 
groups  of  twos  and  threes,  talking  in  subdued  tones : 
"  Would  he  live  ?  "  "  Would  he  live  ?  " 

The  pastor  of  this  little  flock  had  suddenly  been  strick 
en  with  a  very  serious  if  not  fatal  illness.  It  was  neces 
sary  to  perform  a  dangerous  operation  ;  and  even  that 
would  only  be  giving  him  one  chance  of  life  out  of  ten. 
He  had  been  in  perfect  health  only  a  few  days  before, 
and  the  people  could  not  comprehend  the  suddenness  of 
the  change. 

Across  the  bridge  that  spanned  the  swift-flowing  river 
that  divided  the  east  from  the  west  part  of  the  town, 
came  the  gray- haired  village  doctor  with  two  learned 
physicians  from  the  city.  Yes,  they  were  coming.  They 
could  tell  it  was  the  doctors  by  their  dignified  walk  and 
self-confident  air.  Would  the  patient  sufferer  stand  the 
ordeal,  or  would  he  die  under  the  surgeon's  knife?  His 
chances  of  life  and  probable  death  had  been  discussed 
over  and  over  by  those  simple  villagers.  And  now  the 
doctors  were  coining.  Oh,  what  hope  and  fear  hangs 
upon  the  doctor's  decision.  Who  has  not  had  a  loved 
one  hanging  over  the  aw  Ail  precipice  of  death,  and  waited 
with  streaming  eyes  and  heart-throbbing  between  hope 

(9) 


IO  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

and  fear ;  waited  for  the  doctor's  coming,  he  whose  com 
ing  so  man}-  times  brings  hopelessness  and  despair  ? 

How  was  it  with  two  loving  hearts  in  the  little  white 
cottage  at  the  west  end  of  the  shad}-  village  street,  where, 
in  a  quiet  but  light  and  airy  chamber,  Robert  Grey's  life 
was  swiftly  and  surely  ebbing  away?  He  was  lying 
quietly  on  a  bed  of  snowy  white  in  the  center  of  the  room, 
and  had  his  head  slightly  raised.  With  one  hand  he  firm- 
clasped  the  hand  of  his  wife,  who  was  the  only  other 
occupant  of  the  room. 

"  Yes,  Mary,"  he  had  said,  "  let  us  have  all  the  light 
and  sunshine  that  we  can  coax  into  the  room."  But  he 
did  not  add  what  was  in  his  heart :  "  For  this  is  the  last 
earthly  sunshine  that  I  will  ever  see."  Not  but  what 
they  had  looked  the  future  in  the  face  together,  and  had 
talked  calmly  of  his,  to  him,  almost  certain  death;  but 
after  he  had  told  her  that  he  feared  he  could  not  live,  he 
knew  that  she  still  clung  to  hope.  Poor  soul,  it  was  well 
for  her  and  him  that  she  did  hope,  for  it  was  this  one  ray 
of  light  gleaming  through  the  darkness  of  her  soul  that 
gave  her  strength. 

When  the  young  clergyman  was  first  stricken,  the  doc 
tor  had  hinted  at  a  trained  nurse  from  the  neighboring 
city,  but  he  would  hear  of  nothing  of  the  kind.  "  You 
will  nurse  me,  won't  you,  Mary?  I  will  try  not  to  be 
hard  on  you,"  he  said,  his  eyes  looking  longingly  into 
hers.  "  Yes,  Robert,  I  will  care  for  you,  no  matter  how 
much  attention  you  need." 

After  the  kind-hearted  old  doctor,  whose  sympathy  was 
thoroughly  aroused  at  the  touching  scene,  had  sent  the 
young  wife  out  of  the  room  on  some  pretended  errand, 
he  turned  to  the  bed.  "  I  don't  want  to  discourage  you, 
for  God  knows  you  will  need  all  the  encouragement  that 
I  can  give  you,  but  don't  you  think  you  had  better  get  a 


WOULD    PIE    LIVE?  II 

nurse?  We  can't  tell  what  is  before  you,  you  know;  it 
might  be  a  little  hard  on  her,  you  know." 

The  young  man  looked  up  with  a  faint  smile.  "  Yes,  I 
believe  I  know  what  to  expect;  but  I  know  Mary  too  well 
to  think  that  she  would  leave  my  bedside.  I  will  spare 
her  all  I  can.  And  if  my  suffering  becomes  too  great 
for  me  to  bear  alone,  I  know  where  to  turn  for  aid  and 
strength.  He  who  has  been  my  hope  and  stay  through 
life  certainly  will  not  forsake  me  in  death,"  he  said. 

His  child -like  faith  and  confidence  touched  the  heart 
of  the  listener  in  a  way,  tender  as  it  was,  that  it  had  not 
been  touched  for  some  time.  And  looking  at  him  pathet 
ically,  the  young  man  went  on  : 

"  And  if  it  was  not  for  my  darling  wife  and  the  sin 
which  abounds  in  the  world,  against  which  I  have  been 
battling  in  my  weak  way,  I  would  be  willing — nay,  anx 
ious — to  give  up  this  form  of  clay,  to  be  numbered  among 
the  blood-washed  throng  at  God's  right  hand  above ;  to 
exchange  this  world,  which  at  best  contains  weariness 
and  heart-burnings,  for  that  shining  world  of  peace  and 
rest.  Not  that  I  complain,  for  it  has  gone  better  with  me 
than  it  has  with  many.  You  know  God  has  promised  to 
temper  the  winds  to  the  shorn  lamb." 

The  old  doctor,  who,  although  he  had  seen  much  sor 
row  himself,  had  not,  as  is  the  case  with  some,  become 
selfish  thereby ;  nor  had  he  become  hardened  by  his  con 
stant  association  with  pain  and  suffering,  but  instead,  his 
sympathies  were  so  deeply  aroused  as  to  cause  him  incon 
venience  many  times.  On  this  occasion  he  did  not  try 
to  hide  his  tears,  but  let  them  course  unheeded  down  his 
cheek  as  the  dying  man  went  on  : 

"  And  now  I  am  a  shorn  lamb  in  the  full  meaning  of 
the  word,  since  my  physical  strength  has  been  taken  from 
me.  Do  not  take  my  wife  away  from  me  or  spoil  our 


12  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

last  few  days  together  by  bringing  a  stranger  into  our 
chamber.  Let  others  take  charge  of  everything  else,  but 
let  me  have  Mary  to  myself." 

And  when  he  sometimes  grasped  her  hand  so  tight  as 
to  give  her  pain,  she  did  not  know  that  it  was  caused  by 
his  sufferings.  He  felt  that  it  would  have  been  selfishness 
to  have  kept  her  constantly  at  his  side  had  she  known  the 
extent  of  the  agony  he  endured ;  so  with  superhuman 
effort  he  concealed  it  from  her  loving  and  watchful  eyes. 

In  the  three  short  years  of  their  married  life,  his  wife 
had  been  all  in  all  to  him,  aside  from  his  religious  faith 
and  sincere  piety.  To  many  —  nay,  to  all  except  her 
husband  —  Mary  Grey  was  that  proud  piinister's  wife. 
But  to  him  she  was  everything.  She  could  sing  his  soul 
into  raptures  ;  and  sometimes,  when  his  best  efforts  were 
tolerated  at  best,  or  he  could  see  an  ill-concealed  frown  on 
the  face  of  one  of  the  uneducated  members  of  his  con 
gregation,  and  the}"  would  say  among  themselves,  "  No 
religion  !  Xo  religion  !  He  could  get  as  much  religion 
into  his  sermons  if  he  took  his  text  out  of  a  McGuffy's 
speller !  "  and  this  was  carried  to  him  with  zeal  and  very 
often  with  slight  additions,  he  would  say,  "  Mary,  let  us 
sing  something."  She  seemed  to  understand  him.  It  was 
very  seldom  that  he  did  any  of  the  singing,  except  to  help 
her  start  the  hymn.  Then  he  would  lean  back  in  his  chair 
and  listen  to  her  sweet  voice  until  the  troubled  waters  of 
his  soul  were  stilled. 

On  the  third  morning  of  his  sickness,  the  morning  of 
the  day  which  was  to  bring  prolonged  life  or  sudden  death 
to  the  young  husband,  he  had  looked  at  his  beloved  nurse 
with  a  brave  smile.  "  Mary,  sing  something  to  me.  I 
know  that  would  do  me  more  good  than  all  the  doctors." 

She  turned  her  face  from  him  to  hide  the  gasp  that  was 
wrung  from  her  heart,  but  reached  to  a  little  stand  by  the 


WOULD    HE    LIVE?  13 

window  for  her  hymn-book.  This  was  more  from  habit 
than  necessity,  for  she  knew  every  one  of  the  good  old 
songs  by  heart.  She  opened  the  book  and  began  that 
time-honored  hymn,  "  Rock  of  Ages." 

She  sang  a  few  lines,  but  the  lump  in  her  throat  rose 
higher  and  higher.  Her  husband,  seeing  how  pale  she 
looked  and  how  her  voice  trembled,  laid  his  hand  tenderly 
over  hers,  saying,  "There,  dear,  that  will  do.  I  feel  better 
already,  and  if  it  is  so  hard  for  you  to  sing  I  will  not  ask 
you  again  until — I  am  well." 

"Until  you  are  well,  Robert?  God  grant  that  it  may 
be  so,  for  what  would  I  do  without  you  ?  What  could  I 
do  without  you?  Life  was  empty  until  I  met  you,  but 
for  the  three  happy  years  we  have  lived  together  you 
have  filled  my  life  with  the  fullness  of  love.  Surely  the 
Lord  whom  we  have  worshiped  together  will  not  separate 
us  thus  soon." 

"  Yes,  dear  Mary,"  and  his  hand  tightened  over  hers  as 
a  spasm  of  pain  racked  his  manly  form,  "it  will  be  hard 
on  you  to  be  left  alone  in  the  world  again,  and  for  that 
reason  I  would  like  to  stay  with  you,  if  it  is  God's  will ; 
but  if  I  must  go  and  leave  you,  you  will  follow  me  I 
know.  I  feel  easy  about  that,  Mary." 

"But,  Robert,  how  can  I  leave  you  go?  If  you  go, 
take  me  with  you.  Oh,  if  we  could  only  go  together  !  " 
and  for  the  first  time  they  both  gave  way  to  their  feelings 
in  tears  and  wept  as  if  their  hearts  were  broken. 

"  Mary,  pray."     He  was  the  first  to  speak. 

And  the  young  wife,  still  holding  her  husband's  hand, 
knelt  before  the  bed  and  prayed  with  all  the  fervor  of  a 
dispairing  soul.  She  prayed  for  strength,  and  that  her 
husband's  life  might  be  spared  to  her,  and  that  he  should 
be  restored  to  health  and  strength,  if  it  was  the  divine 
will.  And  then  she  came  to  the  end.  "  Not  my  will, 


14  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

O  L,ord,  but  thine  be  done."  She  ended  with  a  sob  that 
was  wrung  from  the  depth  of  her  soul. 

"  There,  Mary,  come  and  sit  by  me ;  come  nearer. 
You  are  a  brave  little  woman.  I  should  not  ask  so  much 
of  you.  It  seems  wrong  that  you  should  be  attending  to 
my  wants  when  I  should  be  waiting  on  you.  No,  Mary, 
you  must  not  sing  if  it  hurts  you,"  but  she  had  again 
opened  the  book. 

"I  will  just  finish  the  hymn  I  began."  She  had  but 
finished  "  Rock  of  ages,  cleft  for  me,  let  me  hide  mysell 
in  thee,"  and  had  gone  to  the  window  to  replace  the  book, 
when  she  saw  the  three  doctors  crossing  the  bridge.  Her 
heart  turned  cold  within  her,  and  turning  to  the  bed,  she 
laid  her  head  beside  that  of  her  husband,  gently  stroking 
his  hair  with  her  soft,  white  hand  as  she  pressed  her 
cheek  to  his.  "Oh,  Robert,  they  are  coming." 

"  Yes,  dear ;  be  brave,"  and  with  what  strength  re 
mained  in  his  arms  he  drew  her  to  him.  "  We  will  say 
good-by  before  they  get  here." 

She  raised  from  the  bed  as  the  three  doctors  came  into 
the  room.  One  of  them,  noticing  the  look  of  unutterable 
agon}'  depicted  on  her  face,  stepped  quickly  to  her  side. 
"  Oh,  no,  I  need  no  help  ;  I  am  strong,"  and  with  one 
lingering,  dispairing  look  into  her  husband's  eyes,  who 
lovingly  returned  the  glance,  she  left  the  room,  and  the 
door  that  closed  after  her  separated  her  forever  from  the 
husband  of  her  choice  ;  for  what  took  place  in  that  cham 
ber  of  suffering  only  the  three  doctors  and  the  recording 
angels  know.  The  patient  lingered  about  an  hour  after 
the  fatal  but  necessary  operation,  and  then  without  re 
gaining  consciousness  his  spirit  returned  to  the  God  who 
gave  it ;  to  Him  whom  he  had  so  faithfully  tried  to  serve 
during  his  short  sojourn  on  earth  ;  to  Him  who,  although 
he  be  the  searcher  of  hearts,  is  all  love  and  tenderness, 


WOULD    HE    LIVE:  15 

and  the  intensity  of  his  search  is  as  purifying  in  its  influ 
ence  upon  the  sin-stained  hearts  of  poor  erring  humanity 
as  the  forked  and  livid  lightning  is  to  the  vapors  arising 
from  the  impurities  of  the  earth. 

Our  friends,  under  the  guise  of  kindly  interest,  very 
often  point  out  to  us  our  mistakes  and  shortcomings;  but 
the  pleasure  it  affords  them  to  do  so  is  soon  discerned, 
and  instead  of  being  profited  thereby,  our  whole  soul  is 
aroused  with  indignation  at  the  injustice.  We  do  not 
like  to  have  our  weaknesses  exposed  and  our  disappoint 
ments  laid  bare.  We  do  not  care  to  have  our  dreams  and 
fancies  painted.  When  they  are  made  public,  or  only 
laid  before  us,  we  disown  them.  We  feel  that  only  those 
whose  love  for  us  is  of  such  a  nature  that  the  pangs  it 
causes  us  to  have  our  faults  laid  before  us  is  only  a 
reflection  of  those  endured  by  them  in  discharging  the 
painful  duty,  have  a  right  to  approach  the  inner  chambers 
of  our  hearts,  where  dwell  the  silent  motive  po\vers  which 
prompt  to  action.  And  even  they  must  enter  cautiously 
and  tread  lightly,  lest  they  leave  the  imprint  of  the  cruel 
nails  upon  the  sensitive  flesh,  and  arouse  a  feeling  which, 
although  we  may  conceal  from  them,  and  not  even  own 
to  our  own  hearts,  still  exists,  and  casts  a  chill  upon  the 
sweet  communion  of  soul  with  soul. 

Robert  Grey  had  endured  the  scourge  of  the  severe 
criticism  of  an  over-exacting  people,  and,  as  is  the  case 
with  all  mortals,  met  with  discouragements  which  almost 
overwhelmed  him.  But  he  had  also  put  his  trust  in  Him 
from  whom  comes  the  peace  that  is  past  understanding, 
and  when  the  trying  moment  came,  a  bliss  so  placid  and 
serene  filled  his  whole  being  that  he  was  almost  stifled 
with  its  warmth.  His  earthly  attachment's  seemed  to 
have  gone  out  of  his  heart  to  make  room  for  the  heavenly 
lieht.  The  thought  of  his  wife  was  the  last  to  leave  its 


1 6  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

resting  place.  With  eyes  in  which  love  and  entreaty 
were  blended  he  looked  to  heaven.  "  Unto  thee,  O  Lord, 
I  commend  my  darling."  Then  with  a  bright  smile, 
which  bespoke  of  heaven,  he  submitted  to  that  which 
would  rob  him  of  consciousness — that  consciousness  that 
he  knew  would  only  be  regained  in  that  world  where  the 
wicked  cease  from  troubling  and  the  weary  are  at  rest. 

What  mattered  it  to  the  dying  man  what  had  been  the 
last  decision  of  the  learned  body  of  theologians  as  to  the 
exact  locality  of  the  abode  of  the  souls  of  the  redeemed? 
What  mattered  it  if  he  was  to  spend  his  happiness  in  a 
place  set  apart,  or  in  eternal  space,  so  long  as  his  heart 
assured  him  that  Christ,  through  the  radiance  of  his  love, 
would  guide  him  through  the  chilly  waters  of  death  and 
with  the  angels  be  his  companion  on  the  other  side? 

So,  as  the  different  bodies  of  believers  are  swallowed 
up  in  the  word  church,  and  that  word  is  lost  sight  of  in 
Christ,  like  the  streams  which  wend  their  separate  ways 
and  at  last  all  end  in  the  sea,  so  the  differences  of  faith 
will  at  last  all  blend  in  the  ocean  of  truth  and  reality  in 
the  infinite. 


CHAPTER  II. 

HOW    WOULD    SHE    TAK1C    IT? 

WHEN  Mary  Grey  first  realized  that  she  was  a 
widow  she  was  stunned.  She  was  again  left 
alone  in  the  world  that  had  never  been  over-friendly  to 
her.  She  was  an  orphan,  and  when  she  made  the 
acquaintance  of  Robert  Grey  she  was  a  music  teacher  in 
a  small  town  many  miles  from  her  childhood's  home. 
She  had  been  born  on  a  farm,  where  she  lived  until  she 
was  sixteen  years  of  age,  when  her  father  and  mother 
both  died,  leaving  her  very  little  of  this  world's  goods. 
The  little  that  she  had,  she  gathered  together,  sold  it  for  its 
money  value,  asked  the  advice  of  no  one,  and  went  to  a 
distant  city  to  study  music.  Eighteen  found  her  without 
means,  but  with  a  fair  training  in  her  chosen  profession. 
"She  had  a  voice  that  would  improve  wonderfully  with 
practice,"  her  teacher  had  said,  and  practice  was  certainly 
all  that  she  needed,  with  both  voice  and  instrument. 

l»y  the  Professor's  kindness  and  influence  she  was 
enabled  to  obtain  a  class  in  an  adjoining  town,  where  she 
also  was  chosen  leader  of  the  choir.  In  this  way  she  was 
able  to  make  a  comfortable  living.  She  was  of  a  quiet 
and  reserved  nature.  Proud  they  called  her.  She 
mingled  very  little  with  young  people  of  her  own  age. 
Had  the  people  known  how  lonely  and  heart-hungry  the 
young  girl  felt  at  times  they  would  have  softened  toward 
and  been  kinder  to  her. 

Our  natures  are  not  all  alike.  While  some  are  bright 
and  cheery,  others  are  silent  and  hard  to  understand,  and 
those  are  the  ones  that  should  arouse  our  deepest  solici 
tude;  for  while  we  may  think  them  cold  and  indifferent, 

(  17) 


1 8  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

they  may  be  yearning  for  sympathy.  They  are  usually 
painfully  aware  that  they  are  not  appreciated,  and  .for 
that  very  reason  are  never  at  their  best.  We  all  know 
that  to  do  ourselves  justice  we  should  be  happy,  and  to 
be  happy  we  need  friends  who  love  us  and  are  so  deeply 
interested  in  us  that  they  not  only  rejoice  in  our  success, 
but  feel  and  regret  our  disappointments.  Then  we 
should  never  neglect  an  opportunity  to  do  good.  Who 
knows,  one  smile  or  kind  word .  may  be  the  means  of 
arousing  all  that  is  noble  and  good  in  some  heretofore 
neglected  person's  soul  ?  For  there  are  more  people  that 
lead  unhappy  lives,  and  therefore  in  many  cases  unprofit 
able  ones,  through  a  lack  of  friendly  interest,  than  for 
any  other  cause.  Mary  Grey  belonged,  in  a  measure,  to 
this  unfortunate  class.  People  thought  because  she  did 
not  respond  to  their  first  attempt  at  friendliness  she  did 
not  care  for  friends,  while  it  was  the  intensity  of  her 
loneliness  that  was  making  her  timid  and  hard  to  ap 
proach. 

One  morning,  as  she  was  about  to  take  her  place  in 
the  choir,  she  noticed  that  there  was  a  stranger  in  the 
pulpit.  He  was  to  preach  a  "trial  sermon,"  they  told  her. 
He  was  young — not  over  twenty-five.  "Poor  man/'  she 
thought,  he"  "has  a  trying  ordeal  before  him.  "A  trial 
sermon!"  She  knew  what  that  meant,  for  she  remem 
bered  the  time  when  she  had  gone  through  the  same 
kind  of  ordeal,  when  her  voice  had  been  put  to  the  test. 
She  knew  that  a  brave  front  was  necessary,  no  matter 
how  much  the  heart  might  quake.  "And  he  is  so 
young,  too,"  she  thought,  remembering  her  early  battles 
with  the  world. 

She  felt  herself  becoming  more  interested  in  him  than 
was  common  for  her  to  be  in  a  perfect  stranger.  "  I  am 
afraid  he  will  fail,"  was  her  first  thought,  but  when  he 


HOW    WOULD    SHK    TAKE    IT?  19 

took  his  text  and  entered  into  his  discourse  her  doubts 
fled.  He  handled  his  subject  in  such  a  scholarly  way 
that  she  could  see  at  once  that  he  would  not  fail  on  that 
score.  He  did  not  fail.  They  were  well  pleased  with 
his  sermon  and  asked  him  for  another  trial  the  next 
Sunday,  and  on  that  da}-  they  hired  him  for  three  years. 
Many  times  his  heart  almost  failed  him  as  he  entered  the 
pulpit.  "Will  I  succeed?  Will  I  continue  to  please  my 
congregation?"  He  knew  that  his  God  would  understand 
and  have  pit}-  on  him,  but  would  the  people?  Would 
they  be  so  merciful? 

He  soon  learned  to  listen  for  and  to  the  sweet  voice  of 
the  choir  leader,  who  sang,  he  sometimes  thought,  to  him 
of  hope.  They  soon  became  acquainted,  and  seemed  to 
be  drawn  together  from  the  first.  It  may  have  been  by 
a  mutual  tie  of  loneliness.  He  too  was  alone  in  the 
world,  his  parents  having  both  died  of  a  fever  long  before 
he  was  old  enough  to  remember  them.  A  rich  uncle  had 
taken  the  baby  Robert  into  his  family  and  done  his  duty 
by  him  according  to  the  dictates  of  his  conscience.  He 
gave  him  the  same  advantages  that  he  gave  to  his  own, 
but  of  that  love  and  tender  care  that  every  child's 
heart  craves  he  knew  nothing.  When  he  grew  up  into 
young  manhood  his  uncle  took  him  from  the  public 
school  and  sent  him  to  a  university,  where  he  graduated. 
Xo  longer  caring  to  impose  upon  the  kindness  of  his 
uncle,  who  had  a  large  family  of  his  own,  he  had  resolved 
to  henceforth  battle  for  himself. 

The  spirit  of  independence,  as  well  as  the  similarity  of 
their  experience,  drew  those  two  young  people  together. 
Their  acquaintance  soon  ripened  into  frienship,  and 
friendship  into  a  deeper  feeling,  and  before  the  first  year 
of  his  pastorage  was  over  they  had  married.  And  when 
the  heart-broken  woman's  first  passion  of  grief  was  spent 


2O  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

she  sat  thinking  of  the  two  years  of  happy  married  life 
they  had  spent  there  together.  He  got  along  fairly  well 
to  the  end  of  the  three  years.  His  salary,  with  the  sum 
that  she  received  for  her  services,  made  them  a  comfort 
able  income — plenty  for  two  people  with  such  simple 
tastes. 

At  the  end  of  his  pastorage  here  he  had  received  a  call 
to  the  Cloverdale  church.  "  Surely,"  thought  his  hopeful 
wife,  "  if  he  pleased  those  intelligent  people  here  he  can 
not  fail  to  satisfy  the  simple-minded  people  at  Cloverdale." 
So  they  had  started  with  cheerful  and  willing  hearts  to 
their  new  field  of  labor.  But  alas  for  human  hopes ;  the 
very  thing  that  they  had  thought  would  be  in  his  favor 
was  against  him.  The  people  were  too  illiterate  to  com 
prehend  the  depth  of  his  logic.  They  pronounced  his 
notions  and  language  too  "  high-fangled  "  for  them.  It 
was  not  what  they  had  been  accustomed  to.  They  had 
had  a  preacher  who  had  sometimes  addressed  them  in  the 
same  kind  of  language  that  they  were  accustomed  to  us 
ing  among  themselves,  which,  although  it  was  not  very 
elevating,  gave  them  a  feeling  of  fellowship.  But  he  never 
hesitated  to  address  them  as  sinners.  He  told  them  that 
he  knew  there  was  a  hell,  and  that  he  was  glad  of  it; 
and  when  he  sometimes,  in  his  earnestness,  acted  as  if 
he  would  not  be  adverse  to  helping  speed  the  journey  of 
those  who  disagreed  with  him  to  that  dreaded  place,  they 
did  not  mind  it.  It  had  the  effect  of  frightening  some  of 
them  into  trying  to  be  good.  When  one  of  the  better 
class  of  his  hearers  remonstrated  with  him,  he  said,  "That 
is  the  kind  of  talk  that  people  need,"  and  declared  with 
vehemence  that  he  believed  in  "  calling  things  by  their 
right  names." 

"  Mary,"  her  husband  had  said  to  her  after  they  had 
been  settled  in  Cloverdale  about  a  month,  "  I  begin  to 


HOW    WOULD    SHE    TAKE    IT?  21 

believe  what  a  good  old  minister  once  said  to  me,  that  an 
educated  congregation,  if  they  are  a  little  over-exacting, 
are  not  as  hard  to  please  as  an  ignorant  one.  He  said : 
'  It  is  not  so  hard  to  have  your  sermons  criticised  by 
people  who  understand  you,  as  to  have  them  picked  to 
pieces  by  those  who  do  not  know  when  you  do  preach 
them  a  good  sermon.'  " 

There  was  one  class  of  his  hearers  that  appreciated  his 
efforts.  This  was  the  younger  members  of  his  flock ; 
with  those  the  faithful  young  couple  had  labored  hand  in 
hand,  and  they  were  bright  enough  to  know  that  they 
had  been  benefitted  in  many  ways  by  their  friendship 
and  companionship,  and  especially  had  they  made  won 
derful  improvement  in  their  singing  and  music. 

But  now  the  young  voice  that  had  urged  them  on  by 
cheerful  words  of  encouragement  was  stilled  forever. 
Silently  and  with  sad  hearts  they  made  their  \vay  to  his 
former  home  to  take  a  last  look  at  the  face  which  had 
once  shown  such  strength  and  depth  of  character,  and 
was  now  calm  and  serene  in  the  coldness  and  stillness  of 
death.  Their  floral  tribute,  a  beautiful  white  anchor,  was 
certainly  a  fitting  one,  for  many  times  he  would  have  de 
spaired  had  not  hope  been  an  anchor  to  his  soul  both  sure 
and  steadfast. 

The  day  of  the  funeral  came.  "  Yes,"  the  crushed 
young  widow  said,  when  they  consulted  her  wishes,  "  I 
will  take  him  back  to  his  childhood's  home  and  lay  him 
to  rest  in  the  little  church-yard  on  the  slope  of  the  hill  of 
which  he  told  me  so  often,  where  he  spent  so  many  happy 
days." 

Oh,  happy  days  of  childhood  !  It  is  well  that  the  sim 
ple  fact  that  they  live  and  have  their  health  is  enough  to 
fill  their  little  hearts  with  joy.  Were  it  not  so,  the  orphan 
would  not  have  remembered  his  former  home  with  such 
keen  pleasure. 


22  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

She  would  have  the  funeral  services  at  the  house,  and 
take  his  beloved  form  to  the  train  directly  from  the  little 
home  nest  he  had  loved  so  well.  A  kind-hearted  neighbor 
and  his  wife  offered  to  accompany  her  on  her  sad  journey. 

Everything  was  now  ready.  They  had  procured  the 
services  of  a  minister  from  an  adjoining  town.  The  peo 
ple  came  in  flocks,  until  the  little  house  and  door-plat 
would  hold  no  more;  some  from  real  sympathy,  and  some 
as  they  themselves  said,  "to  see  how  she  would  take 
it;  to  see  whether  grief  would  bend  her  haughty  head." 
The  "  she"  that  they  referred  to  looked  on  with  eyes  which 
saw  not.  What  mattered  it  to  her  what  those  idle  gossip- 
ers  thought ;  she  was  thinking  how  soon  the  form  of  her 
faithful  husband  would  be  hidden  from  her  sight  forever. 

The  few  appropriate  words  had  been  said  over  his 
body,  and  the  solemn  procession  was  passing  through  the 
gate.  If  the  idle  watchers  were  looking  for  something  in 
her  behavior  to  discuss  and  condemn,  they  certainly  were 
gratified ;  for,  if  they  expected  her  to  come  out  of  the 
house  leaning  heavily  on  the  arm  of  some  good  old  sister 
of  the  church,  with  her  face  hidden  by  a  heavy  black 
veil,  they  naturally  would  have,  as  they  declared,  the 
breath  knocked  plump  out  of  them  by  seeing  her  walk 
alone,  with  her  head  erect  and  her  veil  thrown  back. 

"  No,  I  will  walk  alone ;  he  would  have  me  be  brave. 
No,  I  could  have  nothing  over  my  face ;  I  would  die  of 
suffocation."  So  they  let  her  have  her  way,  and  with  one 
hand  on  the  coffin  she  walked  to  the  carriage  which  was 
in  waiting.  And  the  form  of  the  youthful  divine  went 
out  of  his  gate  to  go  in  no  more  forever. 

The  procession  wound  its  way  sadly  and  slowly  through 
the  shady  streets,  across  the  river  bridge,  past  the  little 
brick  church  where  he  had  been  the  devoted  pastor  for  one 
brief  year,  but  where  his  earnest,  appealing  voice  would 


IIOW    WOULD    SHE    TAKE    IT?  23 

never  again  ring  out  strong  and  clear ;  on  past  to  the 
station,  where  the  little  party  were  hastened  into  the  east- 
bound  limited  express. 

The  little  group  of  women  who  were  still  standing  at 
the  gate,  discussing  the  sickness,  death,  and  funeral  in  all 
its  details,  were  unanimous  in  declaring  that  if  it  had  not 
been  for  that  strange  look  in  her  eyes,  which  had  fright 
ened  them  just  a  little,  they  would  think  "  the  stuck-up 
thing  did  not  care  one  whit." 

"I,  for  one,"  spoke  up  one  of  them,  "shall  not  take  her 
part  by  saying  that  she  took  it  hard,  when  people  ask 
me.  My  daughter-in-law  had  to  stay  at  home  with  the 
children,  but  of  course  she  will  want  to  know  all  about 
if  she  took  it  hard  and  everything,  and  I  for  one  will  not 
take  her  part." 

"  Well,"  said  another,  who  remembered  the  stony  look 
in  her  eyes  and  was  not  so  emphatic  in  her  remarks,  "  it 
is  not  what  I  have  been  used  to.  When  brother  John 
died  I  cried  so  hard  and  took  on  so  that  people  could 
hear  me  from  the  outside  of  the  church-house.  I  think 
when  people  have  a  great  sorrow  they  will  show  it.  I 
know  that  I  could  not  help  it.  People  told  me  afterward 
that  it  was  real  affecting ;  it  made  them  feel  like  they 
had  been  to  a  real  funeral.  Now,  I  could  go  home  this 
blessed  minute  and  forget  in  half  an  hour  that  I  had 
been  to  one." 

"Yes,  Mrs.  Dalton,"  spoke  the  third,  "the  future  will 
tell.  We  will  keep  our  eyes  open.  Actions  speak  louder 
than  words.  We  will  see  if  she  shows  the  respect  that 
Brother  Grey  deserved.  I  always  did  say  the  dear 
brother  was  a  deserving  man."  With  this  she  cast  a 
guilty  look  upon  the  group  about  her,  as  if  she  expected 
to  be  corrected,  and  then  went  on.  "  I  believe  in  showing 
respect  for  our  departed  friends  no  matter  what  it  costs. 


24  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

I,  for  one,  don't  think  she  should  wear  a  stitch  but  what 
is  black  for  two  years,  nor  hardly  as  much  as  speak  to  a 
single  man.  But  we  will  see,  we  will  see.  He  was  such 
a  learned  man,  and  preached  such  excellent  sermons.  I 
always  did  say  his  talk  made  us  forget  things  earthly  and 
caused  our  minds  to  soar  to  a  loftier  sphere." 

"Yes,  but  she  is  not  the  kind  of  woman  to  show  the 
dear  brother  the  respect  that  he  ought  to  have.  Now  if 
he  had  been  my  husband  I  would  know  howr  to  act," 
spoke  Miss  Green,  a  spinster  of  thirty-five,  with  a  far 
away  look  in  her  eyes  which  spoke  of  an  inexhaustible 
store  of  unsolicited  wifely  devotion.  But  she  was  pre 
vented  from  saying  any  more  by  a  score  or  more  of  con 
temptuous  eyes,  which  said  in  so  many  different  ways, 
"What  do  you  know7  about  such  things?"  and  some 
looks  even  went  so  far  as  to  say,  "Poor  thing!  you  will 
never  know  the  luxury  of  mourning  for  a  departed 
husband." 

"  Faith,  and  it  is  rale  glad  that  Oi  am  that  our  holy 
father  is  not  allowed  a  woife,  to  be  a  holding  up  her  head 
like  a  pacock  and  a  domineering  over  us." 

"Shist!  shame  be  on  to  your  head,  Bridget  O'Grady. 
It  is  not  for  the  loikes  of  us  to  be  talking  in  a  light  man 
ner  about  the  holy  father's  business." 

But  the  sacriligious  Bridget  only  emphasized  her 
last  remark  by  a  grunt  and  a  firm  step  forward.  "Oi 
meant  no  irriverince  to  the  holy  father  or  the  Holy 
Mary's  church,  but  you  know,  Mrs.  Murphy,  that  if  he 
was  allowed  a  woife  she  would  be  a-strutting  about  loike 
the  rest  of  them,  niver  thinking  to  associate  or  shake 
hands  with  the  loikes  of  us." 

"  As  far  as  the  shaking  hands  is  concerned,  she  need 
not  care  to,"  said  Mrs.  Murphy,  looking  down  at  her  own 
grimy  hands,  hardened  by  much  toil.  "Yis,  it  is  rough 


IIOW    WOULD    SHK    TAKK    IT?  25 

that  our  poor,  old  hands  are,  but  it  was  caused  by  honest 
toil,  and  not  from  sitting  in  the  sofa-chair  and  acting  the 
foine  lady.  And  very  foine  ladies  we  would  make!"  and 
she  laughed  heartily  as  the  picture  of  herself  and  Mrs. 
O'Grady  acting  the  lady  presented  itself  to  her  honest 
old  mind. 

"  And,"  continued  she,  determined  to  keep  up  her  side 
of  the  argument,  "who  is  prouder  than  you  are,  Bridget 
O'Grady,  when  you  get  to  putting  on  some  of  your  grand 
old  Irish  airs?" 

"  Yis,  Mrs.  Murphy,  Oime  proud  of  me  good  name  and 
me  honor,  as  ivery  dacent  woman  should  be,  and  the 
highest  feather  in  me  cap  is  the  good  old  Irish  blood  that 
flows  in  me  veins.  And  wasn't  me  father  overseer  over 
one  of  the  oldest  and  foinest  estates  to  be  found  in  bonny 
Ireland?  And  wasn't  he  allowed  to  have  iverything  his 
own  way,  just  as  if  he  was  the  master  hissilf  ?  Just  cause 
it  is  that  Oi  have  to  be  proud." 

And  with  this  bit  of  pleasantry  the  crowd  separated, 
the  two  daughters  of  Krin  going  down  separate  streets  to 
their  respective  homes,  which  they  declared  were  com 
fortable,  if  not  ilegant. 


M 


CHAPTER  III. 

THE    BURIAL    AND    SEARCH    FOR    PUPILS.  - 

EANWHILE  the  train  was  speeding  along  with  its 
little  band  of  mourners  and  their  lifeless  charge ; 
but  with  all  its  speed  it  was  sundown  before  they  reach 
ed  the  end  of  their  sad  journey.  It  being  impossible  to 
make  the  necessary  arrangements  and  procure  the  serv 
ices  of  an  undertaker  at  that  late  hour,  the}'  placed  the 
remains  into  the  hands  of  one,  with  instructions  for  an 
early  interment  in  the  morning,  and  proceeded  to  find 
lodgings  for  the  night,  which  they  did  in  a  quiet  part  of 
town,  away  from  the  curious  gaze  of  strangers. 

Contrary  to  her  friends'  expectations  Mary  Grey  slept 
soundly.  She  slept  the  sleep  of  exhaustion,  and  did  not 
awaken  until  the  sun  was  shining  brightly  in  the  eastern 
sky.  "The  sun  and  birds  seem  to  mock  my  sorrow," 
she  thought  as  she  stood  looking  out  of  the  window, 
"  and  the  dear  eyes  which  loved  them  so  well  will  never 
see  them  again." 

She  allowed  them  to  do  what  they  would  with  her,  and 
in  a  very  short  time  after  she  had  awakened  to  her  grief 
they  were  on  their  way  to  take  Robert  Grey  to  his  last 
resting  place.  "  This  is  a  fitting  time  to  lay  poor  Robert 
away,"  she  thought,  "  when  the  morning  sun  is  shining, 
for  it  surely  can  be  said  of  him  that  his  sun  set  while  it 
was  still  day;  yes,  while  it  was  yet  morning." 

"No  wonder,"  she  thought,  as  she  looked  with  stream 
ing  eyes  around  the  quiet  church-yard,  after  the  last  bit 
of  earth  had  been  heaped  upon  the  grave,  and  the  words 
had  been  pronounced, — "  From  dust  thou  art,  and  to  dust 
thou  shalt  return," — "  that  Robert  loved  the  place.  If  he 

(26) 


THE    BURIAL,    AND    SEARCH    FOR    PUPILS.  27 

only  knew  that  he  was  back  to  the  spot  so  dear  to  him. 
But  what  a  different  home  coming  to  the  one  he  pictured 
to  himself,  and  to  me  sometimes.  But  he  would  be 
pleased  to  have  it  so." 

Having  no  time  to  lose,  they  then  gave  orders  to  be 
driven  immediately  to  a  stone  cutter,  where  they  left 
orders  for  a  simple  white  slab  to  be  placed  upon  his 
grave ;  that  was  all  that  her  limited  store  would  permit. 
When  she  was  asked  what  inscription  she  desired,  she 
answered  by  giving  the  man  a  sheet  of  paper  with  his 
name,  date  of  birth,  and  date  of  death,  and  those  simple 
words  which  meant  so  much  to  her,  "  He  hath  done 
what  he  could." 

After  securing  the  promise  of  the  sexton — who  re 
membered  the  sunny-faced  Robert  as  a  little  boy  (his 
uncle  had  long  since  moved  to  a  distant  city) — to  see  that 
the  work  was  well  done,  the  little  women  with  her  at 
tendants  started  on  their  sad  journey  homeward.  "  I  will 
come  back  myself  to  plant  some  flowers  on  his  grave  in 
the  spring,"  she  thought.  "  May  his  grave  ever  be  kept 
as  fresh  and  green  as  his  memory  will  be,  enshrined  in 
my  heart." 

One  of  the  most  trying  ordeals  was  still  before  her,  the 
coming  home  and  entering  the  cottage  that  had  been  her 
home  and  his  home  for  one  happy  year,  without  him. 
When  she  reached  the  place  everything  reminded  her  of 
him  :  the  wicker  gate  that  he  had  entered  so  often  with 
bounding  step ;  the  rose  bush  at  the  corner  of  the  house, 
which  had  been  his  especial  charge,  was  just  beginning 
to  bud,  but  the  caretaker's  eyes,  which  had  watched  it 
with  such  keen  pleasure,  would  not  be  there  to  gladden 
when  it  would  be  crowned  by  the  glory  of  its  blossom. 

The  well-meaning  women  that  had  been  left  in  charge 
could  not  hide  the  traces  from  her  loving  eyes.  Here  was 


28  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

his  favorite  chair,  there  was  the  hook  on  which  he  was 
wont  to  hang  his  hat.  What  would  she  do,  what  would 
she  do,  what  could  she  do  without  him  ?  She  went  into 
the  library  and  laid  her  hand  lovingly  and  lingeringly  on 
one  book  after  the  other  of  those  she  knew  he  had  used 
last.  She  went  to  the  window  and  dropped  into  his  study 
chair,  looking  out  with  eyes  that  were  too  dazed  with 
grief  to  see.  An  icy  hand  seemed  to  be  closing  over 
heart  and  brain,  when  suddenly  the  thought  came  back 
to  her,  "  he  would  have  me  be  brave ;  I  will  do  what  I 
know  would  please  him  were  he  here."  And  a  thrill 
went  through  her  heart.  Who  can  say  that  love  ends  with 
death  ?  The  thought  of  pleasing  him  was  just  as  sweet, 
although  she  knew  that  his  pulseless  heart  could  never 
again  give  a  responsive  throb.  Who  can  deny  that  there 
are  earthly  affections  so  unalterable  and  unflinching  as 
not  to  desire  or  admit  the  prospect  of  another,  even 
though  the  object  may  lie  moldering  in  the  grave  ? 

"  I  will  read  his  books  myself,  and  remain  here  in  this 
very  house.  I  think  I  will  be  able  to  secure  a  class  in 
music,  and  then  I  will  begin  the  old  life  over  again  :  the 
life  I  led  before  I  met  Robert,  only  it  will  be  a  thousand 
times  worse  for  having  known  and  lost  him.  But  those 
curious  people  shall  not  see  my  grief.  No ;  I  will  have 
no  one  to  stay  with  me.  I  am  not  afraid.  The  angel 
spirit  of  my  husband  will  hover  over  and  protect  me." 

The  next  day  was  the  Sabbath,  and  she  went  her  way, 
oh  so  sadly,  toward  the  church  she  had  loved  so  well; 
but  the  one  who  had  helped  to  make  it  so  dear  to  her 
would  never  preach  from  its  pulpit  again.  The  Sunday 
previous  he  had  been  in  his  accustomed  place,  and  today 
his  manly  voice  was  hushed  forever. 

She  walked  quietly  in  and  dropped  into  the  nearest 
pew.  The  first  thing  that  met  her  gaze  was  the  tribute 


THE    BURIAL    AND    SEARCH    FOR    PUPILS.  2Q 

of  respect  that  the  young  people  had  paid  to  him,  their 
dead  pastor ;  the  back  of  the  pulpit  was  draped  from 
ceiling  to  floor  with  white  and  black  crepe,  emblematic 
of  both  youth  and  manhood.  But  in  place  of  the  dear 
form  which  was  wont  to  stand  in  the  pulpit,  a  stranger 
stood  instead.  The  chair  he  usually  occupied  during  their 
young  people's  meeting,  of  which  he  was  the  honored 
leader,  was  also  draped  in  mourning. 

"  A  waste  of  bunting,"  said  Deacon  Hill  to  his  pretty 
daughter  Bessie,  who  had  drawn  on  his  purse-strings  for 
a  part  of  the  extravagance. 

"  It  is  not  bunting,  father;  it  is  crepe." 

"  A  waste  of  bunting,  I  say,"  continued  he,  disregard 
ing  the  correction.  "  You  may  call  it  what  you  please, 
but  it  won't  bring  the  parson  back,  nor  will  it  preach  us 
the  sermons  which  are  paid  for  in  full  until  the  end  of 
the  year." 

The  silent  figure  heard  nothing.  Her  thoughts  were 
far  away  with  the  lonely  form  in  the  church-yard,  until 
the  organ  struck  up  for  the  closing  hymn.  Then  she 
remembered  for  the  first  time  that  her  place  had  been 
vacant  in  the  choir.  "  I  will  never  sing  again;  for  who 
will  care  to  hear  me  now,  since  he  is  dead."  But  this 
world  and  its  realities  came  rushing  back  to  her.  "  How 
can  I  teach  music  if  I  do  not  sing  ?  I  must  smother  my 
grief  and  act  as  though  I  had  no  heart.  I  must  take  my 
place  in  the  choir  next  Sunday,  no  matter  how  hard  it 
will  be  for  me  ;  the  voice  he  loved  so  well  must  be  the 
means  of  bringing  my  bread  and  butter  now.  I  will 
begin  my  search  for  pupils  in  the  morning.  Some  of  the 
people  are  abundantly  able  to  pay  for  instructions,  and 
they  certainly  can  not  fail  to  see  that  the  choir  renders 
much  better  music  than  it  did  a  year  ago." 

So,  with  hope  born  of  a  conscientious  determination  to 


30  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

do  her  best,  she  began  her  task,  which  was  by  no  means 
an  easy  one. 

The  first  place  she  tried,  where  she  supposed  she  would 
be  most  likely  to  secure  a  pupil,  was  at  the  home  of  one 
of  the  parishioners  at  whose  hands  she  and  her  husband 
had  always  met  with  the  greatest  kindness.  The  lady 
greeted  her  pleasantly,  and  talked  kindly  without  referring 
to  her  sorrow.  After  her  caller  made  known  her  errand, 
she  said : 

"  I  am  sorry  that  this  should  be  necessary  so  soon." 

This  was  said  with  such  heartfelt  sympathy  that  in 
stead  of  wounding  the  quivering,  sensitive  heart,  it  had  a 
soothing  influence  upon  the  gap  so  recently  made,  the 
scar  of  which  she  would  carry  with  her  to  the  grave. 

"  But,"  she  went  on,  "  I  don't  suppose  Mr.  Grey's 
salary  was  sufficient  to  save  much.  A  young  minister 
is  supposed  to  get  along  on  almost  nothing,  and  feed  the 
hungry,  clothe  the  poor,  and  contribute  to  every  benefi 
ciary  besides." 

"  If  my  husband  had  only  lived  we  would  never  have 
complained,  but  would  have  been  content  with  a  small 
salary  all  our  lives.  We  would  have  been  satisfied  with 
each  other  and  God's  blessing  upon  our  efforts,"  said 
Mary  Grey,  sadly.  "  But  since  he  was  taken  and  I  am 
left,  I  must  live  on  just  the  same ;  and  it  is  not  only 
necessary  that  I  should  do  something  at  once,  but  it  will 
help  to  make  life  bearable." 

It  was  an  unusual  thing  for  her  to  confide  either  her 
interests  or  her  sorrows  to  any  one ;  indeed,  her  husband 
had  been  her  only  confidant  since  her  parents'  death. 
But  she  found  that  this  bit  of  free  intercourse  did  her 
good,  and  the  sympathy  that  was  extended  in  such  an 
unpretentious,  sincere  way,  was  welcome. 

"  How  very  fortunate  that  you  came  in  this  morning. 


TIIK    BURIAL    AND    SEARCH    FOR    PUPILS.  31 

\Ve  were  talking  of  sending  Ellen  away  to  an  academy  of 
music.  Her  training  has  been  sadly  neglected,  owing  to 
her  health.  I  would  so  much  prefer  to  keep  her  with  us, 
and  will  be  only  too  glad  to  secure  your  services.  You 
can  choose  your  own  time  for  the  lessons.  Any  time  that 
is  convenient  to  you  will  suit  us." 

vSo,  with  the  name  of  Ellen  Eerris  to  head  her  list,  she 
went  on,  not  a  little  encouraged.  She  knew  that  Mrs. 
Eerris  was  not  one  of  the  kind  so  common,  who  by  strict 
discipline  train  themselves  to  say  kind  and  polite  things 
to  hide  a  far  different  nature,  but  that  everything  she 
said  came  from  the  only  source  of  true  politeness,  a  good 
heart. 

The  next  call  she  made  was  at  the  home  of  Deacon  Hill, 
who  was  sitting  on  the  broad  piazza  with  his  good  wife, 
enjoying  the  morning  air. 

"  Good  morning,  Sister  Grey!  What  could  have  caused 
this  unexpected  pleasure,  that  of  seeing  you  so  early  ? 
Betsy  and  I  were  just  saying  as  how  we  were  afraid  that 
you  would  just  shut  yourself  up  and  pine  and  pine.  Hut 
young  hearts  are  soon  comforted,  and  this  is  the  very 
best  thing  that  you  could  do  —  come  out  among  your 
friends,  who  will  be  only  too  glad  to  comfort  and  cheer 
you  up  a  bit. 

"  Oh,  it's  music  lessons  that  you  want  to  give,"  went 
on  the  querrelous  old  gentleman,  without  giving  his  quiet 
wife  an  opportunity  to  say  a  word.  "  Bessie  can  sing 
quite  well  enough  now.  I  dare  say  singing  won't  take 
girls  to  heaven,  nor  will  it  bring  them  a  husband — at 
least,  not  all  of  them—"  with  a  quizzical  look  at  his  wife 
and  then  at  their  visitor,  which  said  in  so  many  words,  "If 
one  woman  has  sung  her  way  into  the  heart  of  a  man,  it 
is  no  proof  that  they  all  can."  This  was  evidence  that  even 
the  old  deacon  and  his  wife  were  not  proof  against  a  little 


32  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

gossip.  "It  turns  their  heads;  and  besides,  it  would  not 
do  to  make  song  birds  of  them  all,  or  they  would  do  like 
the  feathered  ones  do  in  the  autumn,  which  as  soon  as 
they  are  able  to  find  their  own  worms  and  flies,  and  chirp 
a  bit,  fly  away  in  flocks,  to  pour  their  sweet  songs  into 
the  ears  of  strangers,  instead  of  staying  and  singing  for 
those  who  helped  to  protect  them  in  their  helplessness." 

He  looked  at  his  wife  in  a  beseeching  way,  as  if  he 
imagined  his  birdling  had  already  soared  out  of  reach  of 
his  caressing  hand. 

"  We  would  rather  that  our  nestling  should  never  be 
able  to  do  more  than  chirp,  and  keep  her  with  us,  than  to 
have  her  turned  into  a  lark  and  fly  away,  wouldn't  we, 
Betsy?"  The  moisture  in  his  wife's  eyes,  which  were 
turned  toward  him  in  astonishment  at  his  eloquence, 
spoke  louder  than  words.  "  But  a  little  training  might 
not  hurt  her.  Yes,  you  can  count  on  Bessie." 

The  aged  couple  evidently  had  the  fate  of  a  daughter 
of  one  of  their  friends  in  mind,  who  could  not  only  rival 
the  sweetest  notes  of  the  birds,  but  her  heart  was  as  pure 
and  guiltless.  But  she  deserted  her  home  nest  to  sing  for 
strangers  (as  the  old  man  expressed  it),  in  order  to  win 
fame  for  herself  and  support  for  her  parents  in  their  de 
clining  years.  But  like  a  bird  lost  at  sea,  she  was  soon 
dazed  and  bewildered,  and  drawn  helplessly  into  the  mael 
strom  of  sin,  and  came  home,  crushed  and  suffering,  to 
died  in  the  arms  of  her  heartbroken  but  forgiving  parents. 

No  wonder  that  the  memory  of  that  picture  was  too 
much  for  them.  They  knew  that  not  only  are  the 
chasms  of  iniquity  gaping  to  swallow  up  the  helpless 
and  unprotected  girl  who  battles  so  bravely  to  maintain 
herself,  but  there  are  also  self-appointed  guides,  who, 
with  hell  in  their  hearts,  false  smiles  on  their  lips,  and 
flattering  lies  on  their  tongues,  are  ever  on  the  alert  to 


TUP:    BURIAL    AND    SEARCH    FOR    PUPILS.  33 

lure  them  into  their  dark  depths.  Then  they  gloat  and 
sneer  over  their  victims  for  a  time,  then  up  and  away  to 
new  conquests,  while  she  who  sees  her  peril,  when  it  is 
too  late  to  turn  back,  just  as  the  turbulent  waters  are 
closing  over  her  head,  -goes  down  with  an  agony  of  heart 
too  deep  to  find  utterance  even  in  a  groan. 

The  hopeful  woman's  next  venture  did  not  prove  so 
successful.  She  was  met  at  the  door  by  a  woman,  upon 
whose  face  wonder  was  plainly  depicted,  and  seeing  the 
look,  she  hastened  to  make  her  business  known. 

"  I  have  come  to  see  if  you  would  like  to  have  your 
daughters  take  lessons  in  music  and  singing." 

The  woman  answered  her  with  the  question,  "  And  who 
may  the  person  be  who  wants  to  give  the  lessons?" 

"  I  am  trying  to  obtain  a  class  for  myself." 

"Oh  !  "  and  the  look  of  astonishment  turned  into  one  of 
open  astonishment.  "I  did  not  know  that  you  purposed 
remaining  here.  I  would  rather  my  children  did  not  take 
lessons  from  a  woman.  "When  we  hire  an  instructor  we 
will  engage  a  skilled  one  from  the  city." 

With  her  spirits  on  the  ebb,  Mary  Grey  rang  the  next 
door-bell.  This  was  at  the  home  of  Mrs.  Green.  This 
lady  had  her  own  standard  of  right  and  propriety,  and 
woe  and  disaster  to  those  whose  conduct  did  not  meet 
the  requirements  which  she  was  never  loth  to  lay  down. 
Mrs.  Grey  had  never  found  her  congenial  company,  but 
•she  must  seek  pupils  where  they  were  most  likely  to  be 
found. 

She  was  not  prepared  for  the  fire  of  criticism  to  which 
she  had  to  submit,  however.  After  looking  her  over,  the 
woman  said:  "If  you  have  really  concluded  to  remain 
in  Cloverdale,  where  you  know  you  have  nothing  but 
strangers  about  you — no  one  who  has  any  interest  in 
you — I  hope  you  will  protect  yourself  by  getting  some 


34  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

respectable  middle-aged  woman  to  stay  with  you.  But  I 
would  think  it  would  be  advisable  for  you  to  pack  up 
and  move  to  a  place  where  you  have  relatives,  or  at  least 
people  who  know  you." 

"But,"  said  the  helpless  woman,  "I  have  no  where  else 
to  go,  and  so  have  made  up  my  mind  to  remain  in  the 
the  house  where  my  nusband  left  me.  And  so  far  as 
staying  alone  is  concerned,  I  am  not  afraid.  I  would 
rather  be  alone.  I  would  be  very  little  company  to  any 
one." 

"  I  did  not  suppose  that  you  were  afraid,  but  it  would 
be  such  an  impropriety  for  a  young  widow  to  stay  alone. 
You  know  people  would  talk,  and  it  might  even  be  taken 
by  the  opposite  sex  as  a  sign  that  their  attention  is 
solicited." 

The  look  that  this  speech  brought  into  the  eyes  of  our 
heroine  should  have  had  the  power  to  quiet  the  most 
meddlesome  tongue,  but  her  tormentor  went  on:  "I  am 
only  telling  you  this  for  your  own  good.  We,  as  examples 
of  pure,  virtuous  womanhood,  can  not  be  too  careful  how 
we  conduct  ourselves.  We  should  guard  our  actions  in 
such  a  way  as  not  to  give  the  world  a  shadow  of  a  doubt 
of  our  chastity.  But  if  you  are  determined  to  stay  here, 
I  will  see  what  can  be  done  for  you.  I  have  a  cousin 
who  would  stay  with  you  for  her  board  and  lodging.  Her 
husband  spent  all  her  money,  and  then  died.  Pity  he 
could  not  have  died  a  little  sooner  and  left  her  something 
to  live  on.  She  is  a  good  talker,  and  just  the  kind  of 
company  you  ought  to  have.  I  received  a  letter  from  her 
with  the  good  news  that  she  was  coming  to  see  us,  and 
would  in  all  probability  remain  with  us  a  year.  I  am 
perfectly  delighted  with  the  prospect,  and  could  not  think 
of  allowing  her  to  go  anywhere  else,  but  I  would  give  her 
up  to  you  at  the  sacrifice  of  my  own  feelings.  We  are  not 


THK    BURIAL    AND    SKARCH    FOR    PUPILS.  35 

so  much  to  help  our  fallen  sisters  rise  as  we  are  to  keep 
them  from  even  the  appearance  of  going  astray.  I  will 
write  to  her  at  once,  and  after  I  see  how  we  can  settle 
this  little  affair  we  will  talk  about  music  lessons.  Of 
course,  if  you  expect  the  best  class  of  people  to  patronize 
and  befriend  you,  your  manner  of  living  must  be  entirely 
beyond  reproach." 

"  I  thank  you,  but  you  need  not  take  the  trouble  to 
write  to  your  cousin.  The  idea  of  having  some  one  to 
stay  with  me  is  a  new  one,  and  I  must  have  time  to 
think.  I  will  let  you  know." 

At  this  she  arose  to  go,  while  an  angry  look  came  into 
the  other  woman's  eyes,  caused  by  what  she  termed  her 
righteous  indignation  at  the  lack  of  appreciation  with 
which  all  her  good  intentions  were  received.  She  arose 
and  followed  her  visitor  to  the  door,  drawing  her  robes  of 
righteousness  closely  about  her,  as  if  she  was  afraid  of 
becoming  polluted  by  coming  in  contact  with  people  who 
did  not  see  their  duty  through  her  eyes,  with  a  look  in 
those  orbs  which  said  plainer  than  words,  "I  have  done 
my  duty,  and  if  you  will  wilfully  lay  yourself  open  to 
suspicion  after  all  I  have  put  myself  out  to  tell  you,  I 
wash  my  hands  of  you." 

The  object  of  all  this  concern  went  away  with  a  feeling 
at  her  heart  which  was  new.  She  had  drained  the  cup  of 
sorrow  to  its  dregs  at  the  death  of  her  husband,  but  in 
that  she  reali/.ed  the  promise  of  Him  who  said,  "  I  will  be 
a  husband  to  the  widow,  and  a  father  to  the  fatherless," 
and  the  sweetly  comforting  thought  came  to  her,  "I  will 
meet  him  again  where  parting  will  be  no  more." 

But  what  was  there  to  compensate  for  this  injustice,  for 
her  outraged  sensibilities?  She  could  not  understand  it. 
Xo  one  had  ever  talked  to  her  in  that  way  before.  "  Plow 
dare  she  intimate  such  things  to  me?  Is  it  a  crime  to  be 


36  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

left  a  widow,  that  I  should  be  punished  this  way?  If  so, 
my  retribution  has  come  speedily.  Oh,  if  I  only  could 
have  gone  with  him !"  But  the  thought  came  to  her, 
"  He  would  have  me  be  brave." 

The  poor  woman  had  need  of  all  the  strength  those 
words  could  inspire,  for  this  was  only  a  fair  beginning  of 
what  she  had  to  endure  the  rest  of  the  day.  They  all 
seemed  determined  to  help  her  out  of  town  or  find  some 
one  to  stay  with  her.  One  woman  had  an  indigent  aunt 
who  would  be  glad  for  a  home,  and  she  was  of  such  high 
moral  character  that  to  have  her  under  her  roof  would  be 
proof  against  any  suspicion.  Another  had  a  niece.  "  She 
is  not  quite  right  in  her  mind,  poor  dear!  but  she  is  so 
harmless  and  happy  that  it  would  be  a  comfort  to  you  to 
have  her  about." 

"  Well,"  said  another,  "  I  suppose  it  will  be  a  great  trial 
to  you  to  pack  up  and  move,  and  hard  work,  too,  the 
weather  is  so  warm.  Moving  is  such  a  task  any  time  of 
the  year.  But  of  course  some  of  us  will  help  you.  I 
talked  with  my  drayman  this  morning,  and  got  him  to 
promise  to  haul  your  things  half  price.  I  had  to  do  a 
great  deal  of  talking,  but  he  agreed  at  last,  since  you  will 
be  apt  to  have  several  loads.  These  draymen  forget 
themselves  sometimes,  and  act  as  if  they  owned  the  goods 
and  \ve  the  dray.  Have  you  decided  where  you  will 
make  your  future  home?  " 

The  poor  woman,  too  astonished  to  interrupt  her 
would-be  helper,  robbed  of  her  power  of  speech  by  her 
audacity,  listened  to  the  end  in  dumb  despair. 

"  Mrs.  Jones,  I  have  nowhere  else  to  go,  and  since  the 
remainder  of  my  earthry  existence  must  be  passed  some 
where,  I  have  concluded  to  remain  here.  And  why 
should  I  not?  I  must  earn  my  own  bread  again,  as  I  did 
before  I  was  married.  I  must  turn  music  teacher  again, 


THE    BURIAL    AND    SEARCH    FOR    PUPILS.  37 

and  the  little  that  can  be  earned  here  will  buy  more  com 
forts  than  a  larger  income  in  a  city.  And  the  crowds 
and  crowds  of  people,  with  no  companionship,  would  be 
intolerable  to  me.  Mrs.  Jones,  why  should  I  not  stay 
here,  where  my  husband  left  me?" 

This  question  was  asked  without  resentment  or  bitter 
ness,  but  with  a  child-like  simplicity  that  appealed  some 
what  to  the  woman's  better  nature. 

"  Oh,  I  see  no  serious  objections  to  your  staying  here; 
but  a  lone  woman  should  necessarily  be  very  careful  to 
live  above  suspicion.  It  won't  do  to  give  people  room  to 
talk,  for  when  people  once  get  started  there  is  no  way  to 
stop  them.  I  don't  mean  that  you  would  do  anything 
wrong,  of  course ;  I  only  wanted  to  put  you  on  your 
guard.  I'm  real  glad  that  you  told  me  that  you  intend  to 
give  music  lessons,  so  that  when  people  ask  me  I  can  tell 
them  what  you  are  going  to  do.  And  of  course  you  will 
get  some  respectable  middle-aged  lady  to  stay  with  you." 

Mary  Grey  waited  to  hear  no  more,  but  started  for  her 
lonely  home.  It  was  nearly  sundown,  and  she  had  just 
three  names  on  her  list.  She  had  started  out  in  the 
morning  determined  to  renew  her  battles  with  the  world 
bravely,  but  she  returned  in  anything  but  a  heroic  spirit. 
She  had  mingled  so  little  with  the  world  that  she  knew 
very  little  of  its  ways.  She  had  received  her  early  train 
ing  from  parents  who  held  themselves  aloof  from  all  that 
was  narrow  and  debasing,  and  had  always  been  told  that 
they  who  gave  the  necessary  attention  to  their  own  busi 
ness  had  no  time  to  devote  to  the  affairs  of  others,  and 
that  no  one  should  tell  the  faults  of  others  unless  they 
were  sure  that  they  had  none  of  their  own.  Indeed,  if 
the  injunction  of  the  Bible  was  strictly  carried  out,  how 
mute  would  be  the  tongues  of  faulty  humanity  :  the  com 
mand,  "  L,et  him  who  is  without  sin  cast  the  first  stone." 


38  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

One  of  her  father's  proverbs  ( as  she  was  wont  to  call 
them  in  her  happy  girlhood  days)  stood  out  in  bold  relief 
in  the  development  of  her  own  character  :  "  Who  don't 
trust  is  not  to  be  trusted."  She  knew  that  this  faith  in 
humanity,  which  her  father  had  manifested  during  his 
whole  life,  had  proven  against  him  on  many  occasions, 
but  she  did  not  begrudge  the  few  dollars  that  she  knew 
she  had  lost  thereby.  "I  would  rather  have  had  him  just 
as  he  was,  if  he  had  not  left  me  a  cent." 

The  time  that  passed  between  the  death  of  her  parents 
and  the  meeting  with  her  husband  was  spent  in  such  a 
way  as  not  to  give  her  an  insight  into  the  failings  of  those 
with  whom  she  came  in  contact.  And  her  acquaintance 
with  her  husband  and  marriage  to  him  certainly  did  not 
have  a  tendency  to  mar  her  sweet,  simple  trust. 

She  entered  her  own  gate  wean-  and  footsore.  Oh, 
what  a  hard  day's  work  it  had  been  !  She  never  had  been 
so  tired  either  in  body  or  in  spirit,  nor  had  she  ever  had 
such  a  deep,  dull  pain  at  her  heart.  She  went  to  his  rose 
bush,  and,  pinning  one  of  the  fragrant  blossoms  over  her 
heart,  she  entered  the  house. 

"  Oh,  why  should  I  be  denied  the  one  little  comfort, 
that  of  waiting  just  where  he  left  me  until  the  welcome 
call  shall  come  to  join  him  in  heaven.  Oh,  my  husband, 
why  did  you  leave  me  so  soon  ?  The  years  of  separation 
may  be  long — oh,  so  long !  You  came  into  my  life  when 
my  heart  was  famishing  for  some  one  to  love.  Was  our 
love  too  strong,  that  we  should  be  separated  so  soon  ?  I 
can  love  on  and  on  !  but  oh,  you  are  so  far  away !  I  would 
rather  have  you  here." 

She  sank  on  a  lounge  and  gave  wray  to  her  overwrought 
feelings  in  tears ;  not  violent  ones,  but  deep-drawn  sobs 
which  convulsed  her  frame.  They  were  not  only  tears  of 
sorrow,  but  of  wounded  pride  and  womanhood.  When 


THE    BURIAL    AND    SEARCH    FOR    PUPILS.  39 

she  arose  she  was  weak  and  faint ;  her  tears  had  only 
served  to  exhaust  her  already  overtired  frame,  so  without 
a  thought  but  of  her  misery  she  went  sadly  to  bed,  and 
after  tossing  wearily  about  for  a  time  she  fell  asleep.  But 
it  was  the  slumber  which  is  produced  by  overwrought 
minds  and  exhausted  frames ;  it  \vas  the  sleep  that 
proves  more  wasting  to  our  strength  than  even  our  wak 
ing  hours,  when  we  in  a  weary  but  persistent  routine  go 
over  and  over  the  experience  of  the  preceding  day. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

TOMMY'S  DISCLOSURES. 

WHEN  Mrs  Grey  awakened  the  next  morning  she 
was  almost  too  lifeless  to  arise.  The  effects  of 
the  experience  of  the  previous  day  served  as  a  weight  to 
hold  her  down.  She  could  in  no  wise  account  for  the 
treatment  she  had  received.  She  had  had  a  dim  con 
sciousness  that  some  of  the  parishioners  did  not  like  her, 
but  in  her  innocence  she  did  not  think  that  any  one 
would  allow  their  prejudice,  their  petty  likes  and  dislikes, 
to  influence  their  sense  of  justice.  It  was  plain  that 
although  she  had  been  cast  upon  her  own  resources  and 
the  mercies  of  this  world  while  yet  a  child,  she  was  still 
as  a  stranger  in  a  strange  land,  with  a  long,  hard  lesson 
before  her — a  problem  with  nothing  but  bitterness  in  the 
process  of  its  solution  and  despair  at  the  result. 

Oh,  cruel  fate  that  has  made  it  necessary  that  we  should 
be  aroused  from  this  slumber  of  innocence  and  trust, 
where,  faith  in  mankind  is  only  a  reflection  from  the 
placid  lake  of  purity  in  their  own  soul ;  for  the  picture 
mirrored  in  a  stream  does  not  depend  so  much  upon  the 
object  as  upon  the  clearness  and  purity  of  the  water's 
depth.  But  lucky  are  they  who  go  through  this  awaken 
ing  ordeal,  that  is  narrowing  and  warping  the  souls  of 
so  many,  with  an  unbiased  mind — one  that  is  willing  to 
acknowledge  people's  virtues,  even  though  they  see  their 
shortcomings.  There  are  none  so  good  or  so  bad  as  they 
may  be  supposed  to  be ;  for  while  there  is  not  a  heart  so 
hard  but  what  it  could  be  reached  if  the  proper  means 
were  employed,  there  is  still  a  latent  capacity  for  evil  in 
every  individual  human  heart,  and  the  degree  of  its  devel- 

(40) 


TOMMY'S  DISCLOSURES.  41 

opnient  is  often  due  to  circumstances.  Then  thrice 
blessed  are  they  who,  while  they  do  not  sanction  or  encour 
age  wrong -doing,  still  remember  their  own  weaknesses 
in  a  way  that  will  inspire  a  feeling  of  charity  for  that  of 
others,  even  though  the  nature  be  different  from  their 
own  peculiar  besetting  sin. 

Mary  Grey  had  never  committed  an  act  that  was  not 
prompted  by  a  noble  purpose  or  the  depths  of  a  true  and 
holy  love.  Xo  wonder  she  thought  that  the  interference 
of  the  previous  day,  disagreeable  as  it  was  to  her,  had 
been  indulged  in  with  her  comfort  and  best  interest  in 
view.  A  nature  that  was  nearer  in  touch  with  them 
would  have  formed  conclusions  more  in  accordance  with 
the  truth:  and  even  if  they  had  made  a  mistake  in  their 
calculations,  it  would  have  been  on  the  other  side  of  the 
scale,  and  the  facts  in  the  case  would  have  been  mag 
nified. 

As  is  the  case  in  all  towns  the  size  of  Cloverdale,  some 
of  the  aspiring  mammas  had  their  own  private  reasons 
why  a  young  widow  with  a  beautiful  face  and  winning 
manners  would  (oh,  no,  they  did  not  say  should)  choose 
some  other  place  for  her  future  home;  while  others  would 
be  willing  to  submit  to  the  inevitable  if  her  stay  among 
them  could  be  made  a  source  of  relief  to  them. 

As  she  went  about  her  morning  duties  she  thought, 
"God  forgive  me  if  my  sorrow  lias  made  me  selfish,  or  if 
I  lack  in  love  and  kindly  feeling,  but  how  could  I  have 
any  of  those  women  to  stay  with  me?  They  would  not 
be  very  desirable  company.  That  poor  innocent  girl 
would  be  the  least  objectionable,  and  I  could  not  bear  to 
have  her  about  me  all  the  time." 

She  had  seen  them  with  their  respective  relatives  at 
different  times,  and  felt  that  she  could  not  bear  to  have 
her  liu.^lDand's  merits  and  demerits  tried  and  re-tried,  as 
3 


42  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

if  at  a  bar  of  justice,  nor  have  her  sorrows  brought  forth 
from  the  depth  of  her  soul,  as  if  on  parade  on  review  day; 
and  even  if  it  was  done  to  the  best  of  their  understand 
ing,  and  with  a  zealous  endeavor  to  entertain,  it  would  be 
none  the  less  unbearable.  She  felt  that  if  the}'  would 
only  let  her  alone  and  undisturbed  in  her  sorrow,  she 
would  ask  no  greater  favor  of  them,  and  would  be  so 
grateful.  "  They  could  serve  me  best  by  simply  allowing 
me  to  choose  for  and  serve  myself,"  she  thought. 

What  a  vast  deal  of  trouble  and  inconvenience  it  would 
spare  the  human  family  if  every  member  could  compre 
hend  that  his  or  her  particular  interference  could  be  dis 
pensed  with  without  loss  in  most  cases  and  with  profit  in 
many  !  But  this  was  a  state  of  perfection  to  which  our 
friends  had  not  even  aspired,  much  less  attained  ;  for  they 
had  all  made  up  their  minds  that  the  comfort  of  their 
pastor's  widow,  if  not  her  very  existence,  depended  largely 
upon  their  individual  solicitude. 

After  she  had  set  her  house  to  rights,  she  sat  wondering 
should  she  try  again  today,  or  should  she  stay  at  home 
and  rest  ?  She  felt  that  she  could  not  bear  to  undergo 
the  experience  of  the  previous  day.  She  felt  as  if  she 
had  no  rest  since  before  her  husband's  illness.  It  was 
only  a  week  today,  but,  oh !  what  a  long  and  weary  week. 
Ages  seemed  to  have  passed  in  the  brief  space  of  seven 
days.  Enough  had  occurred  to  change  from  a  supremely 
happy  woman  to  one  who  had  her  eyes  fixed  on  death  as 
her  goal,  the  saddest  part  of  which  was  the  long,  weary 
journey  that  she  would  be  likely  to  be  obliged  to  take  to 
reach  it,  since  she  was  read}"  to  faint  at  the  outset. 

She  had  no  sooner  formed  her  decision  to  stay  at  home 
and  rest  when  there  was  a  ring  at  the  door  bell.  Her 
caller  was  a  boy,  the  son  of  Mrs.  Green,  who  began  : 
"  Mrs.  Grev,  mv  mother  sent  me  to  tell  YOU  that  she  was 


TOMMY'S  DISCLOSURES.  43 

writing  a  letter  to  her  cousin,  and  that  she  would  like  to 
know  if  you  wanted  her  to  stay  with  you,  because  she 
can't  finish  her  letter  until  she  knows,  and  she  wants  to 
send  it  right  away,  and  that  I  must  hurry  back." 

"  Tell  your  mother  that  she  had  better  not  put  any 
thing  in  her  letter  about  such  an  arrangement,  for  I  will 
stay  by  myself  for  the  present.  Tell  her  that  I  thank  her 
for  her  kindness,  but  that  she  had  better  not  mention  it.'' 

"  Well,  my  mother  said  that  you  would  be  obliged  to 
have  some  one,  and  that  she  was  willing  to  do  all  that 
she  could  to  help  you,"  said  the  boy,  turning  on  his  heel 
to  go  ;  "but  she  said  she  guessed  that  3-011  was  too  stuck 
up  to  knuckle  to  being  helped.  I  think  too  that  you  are 
proud.  You  look  like  you  was,  and  act  like  it,  too.  But 
is  it  so  wrong  to  be  proud  ?  I  hear  people  say  so  many 
spiteful  things  about  it  that  I  guess  it  must  be  worse 
than  almost  any  other  bad  thing.  I  never  saw  you  do 
anything  but  just  walk  straight,  and  hold  up  your  head, 
and  not  stop  and  talk  to  everybody,  as  almost  everybody 
else  does.  I  guess  maybe  some  of  the  old  maids  and 
them  are  just  mad  because  your  head  is  a  great  deal 
prettier  than  theirs,  and  they  can't  sing  like  you  do,"  he 
said,  looking  at  her  with  a  good-natured,  comical  smile. 
"  Hut  you  won't  tell  my  mother  and  the  girls  that  I  told 
you?  because  my  sister  always  pulls  my  hair  when  I  just 
mention  old  maid  ;  and  it  makes  her  mad  to  hear  any  one 
say  that  any  other  girls  are  nice  looking.  She  wants  to 
be  the  nicest  looking  herself.  I  guess  since  your  man 
died  you  are  a  girl  again.  Sis  says  as  how  they  are  girls 
until  the}'  get  married,  and  then  I  guess  if  their  men  die 
or  run  away  or  something,  it  brings  them  to  their  second 
girlhood. 

"  I  know  you  look  more  like  a  girl  than  Sis  does;  but 
if  I  would  tell  her  so,  she  would  box  mv  ears  and  not  let 


44  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

me  sit  in  the  parlor  or  eat  at  the  first  table  or  play  ball 
with  the  boys  for  a  week.  Now,  you  never  was  a  boy,  so 
of  course  you  don't  know  how  hard  that  would  be.  But 
you  won't  give  it  away  to  them,  will  3-011?  That  would 
be  different  from  just  being  proud.  I  heard  the  girls 
talking  this  morning.  They  said  as  how  they  didn't  stand 
any  kind  of  a  show  when  there  was  an  impudent  widow 
about.  Then  they  said  some  more  about  widows'  caps 
being  sure  to  win.  I  know  what !  I  think  they  are  just 
afraid  that  you  will  take  their  beaux  from  them.  I  know 
that  they  we  talking  about  you,  because  I  heard  ma  say 
to  the  girls:  '  I'm  glad  there  is  some  one  who  can  make 
her  feel  like  an  ordinary  mortal.  I  think  that  I  made  her 
feel  yesterday  that  she  was  no  better  than  the  rest  of 
us,  and  that  gives  me  comfort.'  She  said  that  if  a  few 
other  people  had  the  courage  to  give  you  a  good,  generous 
slice  of  humble  pie  once  in  a  while  it  would  do  you  good 
and  bring  you  to  your  senses,  and  that  you  was  no  better 
than  other  people, — but  I  know  that  you  are  a  heap  nicer 
looking." 

This  was  all  told  in  a  way  that  showed  that  it  was  the 
boy's  way  of  avenging  himself  for  some  real  or  fancied 
wrong  that  had  been  inflicted  upon  him  by  the  feminine 
portion  of  the  household,  the  natural  sworn  enemy  of 
every  refractor}"  lad,  who  can  by  intuition,  however,  find 
many  ways  original  to  himself  to  cousole  his  wounded 
spirits,  those  injured  sensibilities  that  stand  out  so  prom 
inently  in  the  capricious  mind  of  a  boy. 

"And  because  you  are  so  nice,  and  are  agoing  to  prom 
ise  not  to  tell  on  me,  I  will  tell  you  something  else  that  I 
know.  My  ma's  Cousin  Sallie  is  just  as  ugly  to  have 
about  as  can  be.  Our  whole  family  is  mad  whenever  she 
is  expecting  to  make  us  a  visit.  She  takes  snuff,  and  eats 
right  out  loud,  because  I  guess  she  enjoys  her  victuals 


TOMMY  S    DISCLOSURES.  45 

with  her  teeth,  tongue  and  lips  all  at  once.  And  her 
tongue  —  when  she  bosses  ma  and  pa  around  and  scolds 
the  girls  about  powdering  their  faces  and  fri/zing  their 
hair.  She  says  she  got  a  mail  without  anything  of  the 
kind  —  pity  she  can't  get  another  one  now,  then  she 
wouldn't  be  making  us  such  long  visits.  I  would  help 
her  to  get  one  myself  if  I  could  find  some  old  fellow  as 
would  have  her.  I  would  tell  him  she  was  perlite  and 
vertuous,  and  just  as  sweet  as  anything,  just  to  fool  him, 
and  then  wouldn't  he  be  just  as  mad  as  hops  after  he  had 
lived  with  her  a  day  or  two  ? 

"  Then  she  scolds  the  girls  about  some  other  things, 
and  us  boys — she  likes  us  just  like  pizen  !  Well,  we  just 
have  to  hold  our  breaths  when  she  is  around,  and  wish 
she  would  bring  her  delightful  visit  to  a  close.  No  one 
else  has  a  chance  to  say  a  word  when  she  commences.  Ma 
says  she  puts  her  in  mind  of  a  coffee-mill — we  just  have 
to  let  her  grind  on  until  she  gets  through  with  her  grist. 
But  what  makes  the  girls  the  maddest  is,  she  always 
comes  into  the  room  when  they  have  beaux,  and  just  sits 
and  sits,  until  it  is  too  late  for  them  to  stay  any  longer, 
and  that  just  fills  the  girls  with  chuck  full  of  '  righteous 
indignation,'  as  they  call  it,  but  I  would  name  it  just 
common  mad. 

"  Ma  and  the  girls  said  so  man}-  things  this  morning 
that  I  can't  begin  to  remember  it  all ;  but  I  heard  them 
say  that  they  would  not  put  up  with  her,  because  they 
could  not  have  a  bit  of  fun  and  would  just  die  of  morti 
fication  or  something,  and  that  if  you  would  not  take  her 
ma  could  just  tell  her  to  stay  where  she  is.  And  then 
they  laughed  and  said  it  would  be  such  a  joke  if  they 
could  palm  her  off  onto  you,  because  she  would  prove  a 
better  watch-dog  than  a  mastiff  with  a  rat-terrier  for  com 
pany  to  keep  him  awake.  They  said  as  how  your  widow's 


46  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

wiles  or  something  wouldn't  do  you  a  bit  of  good  as  long 
as  she  was  around.  I  just  wouldn't  have  her  if  I  was  you, 
because  if  you  do  you  will  soon  wish  you  hadn't.  But 
you  won't  tell  that  I  told  you  ?  Now  if  you  would  just 
cross  your  heart  before  I  go,  I  would  know  that  you 
would  keep  your  word.  I  know  that  if  you  had  ever  been 
a  boy,  with  big  sisters  of  your  own,  you  would  not  think 
of  telling  on  me." 

"  I  will  not  cross  my  heart,  but  I  will  promise,  and  that 
will  do  just  as  well.  But  boys  should  not  listen  to  their 
mammas  and  older  sisters  when  they  talk,  much  less  tell 
what  they  say,  even  if  it  were  not  wrong  to  tell  tales  out 
of  school,  as  you  call  it.  Boys  are  apt  to  misunderstand 
what  they  hear  and  make  mistakes  in  repeating  them. 
I  will  not  tell  on  you,  but  you  had  better  not  listen  the 
next  time  you  hear  them  talk  about  their  beaux  and 
things,  because  I  know  that  girls  don't  like  to  have  such 
things  told,  and  little  boys  are  sure  to  tell  all  they  hear." 

As  contrary  as  it  was  to  the  nature  of  Mary  Grey  to 
hear  anything  that  was  not  intended  for  her  ears,  she 
could  not  help  enjoying  the  impetuous  tones  of  the  boy, 
who  was  trying  in  all  haste  to  unburden  his  mind  of  all 
he  had  heard.  Here  was  a  genuine  bit  of  at  least  human 
boy's  nature ;  for  a  bit  of  news  causes  the  small  boy  as 
much  uneasiness  as  a  rat  does  a  terrier  dog,  until  he  has 
carried  it  to  the  ears  of  those  whom  he,  in  his  judgment, 
has  decided  ought  to  know  it. 

She  could  tell  that  the  boy  had  been  listening  to  what 
had  not  been  intended  either  for  his  or  her  ears,  but  there 
certainly  was  a  mistake  ;  they  could  not  have  been  refer 
ring  to  her  in  that  unfeeling  way,  for  she  thought,  with 
the  innocence  and  kindly  feeling  of  her  own  heart :  "  No 
woman  would  talk  about  me  in  such  an  unkind  way  in 
my  sorrow.  We  are  certainly  near  enough  of  kin  in  the 


TOMMY'S  DISCLOSURES.  47 

trials  of  this  life  to  understand  and  sympathize  with  each 
other." 

vSo  without  a  thought  of  anger  or  resentment,  she  dis 
missed  the  little  rebel  with  a  reassuring  smile,  which 
caused  hin  to  forget  at  once  all  fears  of  being  found  out 
in  his  departure  from  the  paths  of  discretion. 

"  Well,  she  is  just  game  !  She  won't  blab  more  than 
nothing.  I  would  trust  her  any  time,  because  she  is  the 
nicest  woman  I  ever  saw.  I  don't  mind  being  scolded,  as 
long  as  they  look  as  kind  as  she  did.  And  to  think  that 
she  scolded  me  for  telling  her  what  they  said  about  her. 
Now  when  anybody  tells  our  women  folks  such  things, 
the>-  fly  all  to  pieces  and  put  me  in  mind  of  a  kite  with  a 
lot  of  tails  and  fixins  in  a  wind-storm,  but  they  keep  on 
asking  and  quizzing,  just  like  they  enjoyed  getting  mad  ; 
and  I  guess  they  do,  because  they  always  seem  to  be 
hankering  after  news.  But  she  only  smiled,  and  I  think 
I  noticed  a  few  tears  in  her  eyes  when  I  talked  to  her 
about  her  man  dying ;  but  she  looked  so  sweet  and  kind 
that  I  know  she  wasn't  crying  because  she  was  mad. 
Well,  if  I  hear  them  talk  any  more  about  her,  I  am  ago 
ing  to  tell  her  again."  And  with  this  resolution  upper 
most  in  his  mind,  Tommy  Green  hurried  home. 

Mary  Grey  spent  the  next  few  days  in  trying  to  find 
more  pupils,  but  without  further  success.  Very  few  peo 
ple  were  able  or  disposed  to  hire  a  music  teacher;  they 
were  well  pleased  with  the  improvement  their  daughters 
had  made  under  her  instructions  in  the  past  year,  but 
that  was  free  of  charge  and  far  different  from  paying  for 
a  teacher. 

There  were  several  wealthy  families  living  a  few  miles 
from  town,  but  how  to  get  to  them  to  offer  her  services? 
If  she  wrote  to  them,  they  would  wonder  why  she  did  not 
come  in  person.  .She  was  told  that  one  of  the  require- 


4-S  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

ments  of  a  teacher  was  that  she  come  to  their  own  homes 
to  give  their  children  lessons ;  even  if  she  secured  them 
as  pupils,  she  felt  that  she  could  not  do  that.  A  convey 
ance  from  the  stables  was  beyond  her  means,  and,  good 
walker  as  she  was,  she  felt  that  it  would  be  too  much  for 
her  strength  to  go  the  distance  twice. 

Three  pupils  were  better  than  none.  They  would  sup 
ply  her  immediate  wants.  But  she  thought,  with  a  pang: 
"  I  may  have  to  give  up  this  cottage.  Oh,  why  should 
such  a  sacrifice  be  required  of  me  ?  I  think  I  will  be  able 
to  pa>-  the  rent  one  more  month.  At  least  I  will  not  leave 
until  necessity  compels  me,  and  then  I  will  try  to  be 
brave  about  it.  I  will  not  act  in  a  \vay  that  would  grieve 
him." 

She  had  no  doubt  that  her  husband's  spirit  had  as 
sumed  the  character  of  her  guardian  angel,  and  the 
thought  of  pleasing  him  had  the  power  of  filling  her 
heart  with  a  sad,  yearning  sweetness  which  was  absorb 
ing  in  its  intensity. 

She  went  to  the  drawer  where  she  had  been  in  the 
habit  of  keeping  her  private  purse.  The  general  store 
had  all  been  swalknved  up  by  the  doctor's  bill  and  funeral 
expenses,  and  it  was  only  by  the  reduction  that  the  par 
ties  interested  were  kind  enough  to  make  (without  her 
knowledge,  however,)  that  the  dead  man's  little  hoard 
would  suffice  to  cover  the  expenses  caused  by  his  sick 
ness  and  death. 

Here  were  a  few  bills,  carefully  folded,  that  had  not 
only  been  earned  by  the  sweat  of  his  brow,  according  to 
the  injunction  of  the  Bible,  but  also  by  the  inspiration  of 
a  soul  warmly  bathed  in  a  Savior's  love.  She  would 
gladly  have  kept  those  as  mementoes  of  his  devotion  to 
his  duty  and  his  care  for  her,  but  she  knew  that  such 
luxuries  would  be  denied  her  in  future,  and,  after  all,  she 


TOMMYS    DISCLOSURES.  49 

needed  no  such  a  reminder.  The  three  years  they  had 
spent  together  had  erected  in  her  woman's  heart  ( the 
place  dedicated  to  undying  love  and  lasting  memories)  a 
monument  that  would  withstand  the  ravages  of  time  and 
the  smiles  and  allurements  of  this  world  that  would  fain 
cause  it  to  crumble  to  dust.  These  bills  had  been  earned 
and  saved  to  buy  comforts  for  her  and  for  him,  and  now 
she  must  spend  them  for  herself.  "  But  I  know  he  would 
have  me  use  them,  and  would  only  wish  that  he  had  the 
power  to  leave  me  more." 

Then  she  drew  her  own  little  pocket-book  from  its 
hiding-place.  It  was  an  unpretentious  affair.  "  I  had  so 
little  use  for  a  purse,"  she  thought.  She  had  often  laugh 
ingly  told  her  husband  that  "  since  the  poor  women  were 
denied  the  luxury  of  a  pocket,  it  was  a  still  greater  com 
fort  to  have  a  strong,  overgrown  husband  with  plenty  of 
those  conveniences  about  him  for  two.  It  saves  us  the 
trouble  of  carrying  and  the  worry  of  losing  anything  val 
uable,  so  you  see  how  willing  we  independent  creatures 
are  to  shove  the  responsibilities  of  life  upon  broader  and 
stronger  shoulders ;  how  willing  and  glad  we  are  to  be 
taken  care  of,  if  we  can  only  find  one  who  cares  enough 
for  us  to  take  the  trouble." 

But  now  she  must  reassume  the  cares  of  life  ;  so,  after 
counting  the  amount  contained  in  both,  she  put  it  to 
gether  into  the  larger  and  stronger  purse.  "  I  will  pay 
the  rent  for  one  month,  and  then,  if  I  live  economically, 
I  may  be  able  to  remain  another.  I  would  be  satisfied 
with  so  little,  if  I  could  only  remain  here  quietly  and  un 
disturbed." 

She  had  just  framed  her  wish,  when  one  of  her  neigh 
bors  stepped  up  to  the  open  door. 

"  Good  morning,  Mrs.  Jones,"  she  said,  pleasantly  ; 
"  come  in.  I  am  triad  to  see  vou." 


50  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

She  had  just  been  asking  for  quiet  and  solitude,  but 
unconsciously  her  heart  was  reaching  out  for  sympathy 
and  companionship.  How  strange  to  a  woman  are  the 
workings  of  her  own  heart !  for  unless  she  devotes  a 
goodly  portion  of  her  time  to  self-study,  she  will  carry  it 
to  her  grave  a  stranger  to  its  impulses,  and  even  then 
she  remains  to  herself  an  enigma  still  unsolved. 

Mrs.  Jones  was  a  self-satisfied  matron  of  about  forty- 
five  or  fifty.  She  had  married  when  she  was  quite  young, 
but  had  never  had  any  children.  This  caused  her  over 
abundance  of  motherly  interest  to  be  evenly  distributed 
over  the  entire  town.  Even  the  typical  spinster. must  lay 
down  her  laurels  to  a  childless  married  woman,  when  her 
line  of  duty  is  once  made  clear  to  her,  when  she  adopts 
as  her  life  work  the  engineering  of  the  social  and  matri 
monial  machinery  of  the  society  in  which  she  moves. 

Of  course  half  the  young  people  of  the  town  would 
have  been  ruined  had  it  not  been  for  her  timely  interfer 
ence  ;  the  married  people  would  certainly  never  have 
found  the  suitable  partners  had  it  not  been  for  her  assist 
ance,  for  which  they  were  very  grateful  to  her,  no  doubt ; 
and  some  of  the  hasty,  ill-advised  marriages  might  have 
resulted  in  total  shipwreck  had  she  not  helped  to  steer 
them  safely  through  the  breakers  along  the  shore  and  out 
into  the  broad  and  placid  waters  of  married  life.  It  was 
with  the  importance  of  her  responsibilities  weighing 
heavily  upon  her  mind  that  Mrs.  Jones  made  this  morn 
ing  call,  with  her  mind  made  up  to  discharge  her  duty 
fully  to  her  former  pastor's  widow. 

"Good  morning,  Sister  Grey;  you  have  been  away  so 
much  lately  that  I  did  not  have  the  opportunity  to  call 
sooner.  You  must  be  very  lonely  since  the  poor  brother's 
death,  so  I  thought  I  would  drop  over  and  have  a  long 
talk  with  you  and  help  you  to  forget  your  troubles.  I 


TOMMYS    DISCLOSURKS.  51 

know  when  I  have  trouble  I  would  just  die  if  I  did  not 
tell  it  to  some  one.  Of  course  I  always  go  to  my  husband, 
as  I  suppose  you  did  as  long  as  yon  had  poor  Brother 
Grey  with  you,  but  now  since  he  is  gone  you  will  have 
to  have  some  one  else  to  make  a  confidant  of.  I  tell  you 
it  will  never  do  to  lock  yourself  up  with  your  sorrow." 

As  Mary  Grey  said,  she  was  glad  to  see  her  caller.  Her 
lonely  heart  was  reaching  out  for  nourishment  and  susten 
ance.  But  the  feeling  of  tenderness  gave  way  to  one  of 
leaden  heaviness ;  her  overwrought  feelings  seemed  to 
rebound  to  her  heart  and  congeal  there.  But  she  made  a 
brave  effort  to  conceal  this  from  her  visitor,  who  seemed 
to  understand  the  remedy,  but  not  the  mode  of  applica 
tion. 

"Yes,  my  heart  is  heavy,"  said  the  poor  woman;  "but 
I  do  not  care  to  burden  others  with  my  sorrow — that  is, 
after  all,  something  that  we  each  must  bear  for  ourselves; 
for  while  the  heart  is  like  a  fountain  in  its  love  ever 
gushing  forth,  it  also  has  a  depth  in  its  sorrow  which  no 
one  canjfathom." 

"  It  might  bring  comfort  to  you  to  talk  to  some  one 
about  your  plans.  I  am  in  no  hurry  this  morning,  and 
might  be  able  to  make  some  suggestions  that  would  prove 
of  great  help  to  you.  I  have  had  so  much  more  experi 
ence  in  this  world  than  you.  It  makes  a  woman  so  help 
less  to  be  left  a  widow  so  early  in  life,  just  when  she  is 
beginning  to  learn  what  it  is  to  have  a  husband  to  lean 
on,  and  she  can  not  be  expected  to  be  able  to  stand  alone 
when  her  prop  is  suddenly  taken  from  under  her.  Now, 
with  older  people  it  is  different.  We  all  find  out  that 
those  props,  no  matter  how  willing  and  strong  they  may 
be,  will  give  a  little  by  time  and  overweight,  and  we  must 
fall  back  more  or  less  upon  our  own  strength  as  the  years 
go  by,"  said  the  woman  ;  and  we  would  add  ; 


52  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

And  happy  is  the  woman  who  learns  this  lesson  with 
out  losing  faith  in  her  spouse,  for  it  is,  after  all,  only  his 
nature  asserting  itself,  in  thinking  that  every  human 
being  has  enough  to  do  to  carry  its  own  weight.  This 
may  ultimately  be  nature's  plan  to  prepare  us  for  the 
separation  that  must  come  sooner  or  later,  for  through  the 
acquired  strength  we  are  certainly  better  enabled  to  take 
care  of  ourselves. 

"  I  have  no  great  plans  to  make  for  the  present,  and 
none  for  the  future.  I  have  put  my  trust  in  One  who  has 
left  such  words  of  comfort  for  the  widow,  and  will  take 
charge  of  both  present  and  future  for  those  who  are  will 
ing  to  take  Him  at  his  word." 

"Yes,  but  you  must  live,  and  the  Lord  has  only  prom 
ised  to  help  those  who  are  willing  to  help  themselves," 
wisely  answered  Mrs.  Jones.  "You  must  have  a  place  to 
stay,  something  to  eat,  and  clothes  to  wear;  and,  judging 
from  the  salary  that  your  husband  received,  he  could 
hardly  have  left  you  much.  People  seem  to  think  that  a 
minister  can  live  on  his  religion.  Now  I  think  that  while 
religion  will  satisfy  his  spiritual  wants,  it  takes  just  as 
much  bread  and  butter  to  keep  his  mortal  soul  and  body 
together  as  it  does  for  any  one  else." 

"  Oh,  I  would  have  been  content  with  a  small  salary  all 
my  life,  if  he  had  only  lived.  As  you  say,  he  could  not 
have  left  me  much,  but  I  have  the  same  means  of  support 
that  I  had  before  I  knew  him — my  voice.  I  intend  to  live 
on  here  and  give  lessons  in  music.  I  can  not  plan  much; 
these  plans  have  made  themselves.  I  have  nowhere  else 
to  go,  nor  have  I  any  other  way  to  earn  my  bread." 

"  But  do  you  think  it  would  be  wise  to  keep  this  whole 
cottage  ?  It  would  only  be  rent  for  nothing.  You  cer 
tainly  would  not  think  of  living  here  alone  ?  that  would 
not  look  well.  You  will  get  some  respectable  old  couple 


TOMMY'S  DISCLOSURES.  53 

to  move  in  with  you.  A  widow's  actions  are  always 
watched  so  closely,  and  it  is  always  best  to  be  on  the  safe 
side.  Yes,  I  will  help  you  to  look  around,  and  between 
us  we  will  surely  be  able  to  find  some  one  to  move  in 
with  you." 

"  Mrs.  Jones,  I  think  I  will  be  able  to  pay  the  rent  for 
this  cottage  for  a  time,  at  least.  I  don't  want  any  one  to 
live  with  me.  I  would  so  much  rather  stay  alone  as  long 
as  I  can  afford  it,  at  least;  and  as  far  as  being  safe  is  con 
cerned,  I  have  always  been  taught  that  the  innocent  need 
have  no  fear." 

Poor  girl,  she  did  not  know  that  this  very  training 
made  her  seem  like  a  foreign  element  in  the  atmosphere 
so  prevalent,  that  of  criticism  and  insinuations.  vShe  did 
not  know  that  the  influence  brought  to  bear  upon  their 
lives  had  made  them  what  they  were,  ever  reach'  to  dis 
cover  a  flaw  in  the  conduct  of  friend  or  foe,  which  was 
no  sooner  imagined  than  told  and  enlarged  upon.  As  we 
journey  through  this  life,  and  go  on  from  stage  to  stage, 
unconsciously  our  characters  are  being  moulded  like 
the  sediments  which  cling  to  the  rock,  and,  after  a  while, 
become  a  part  of  the  rock  itself;  so  the  man}-  incidents  of 
life,  no  matter  how  small,  are  the  materials  employed  in 
the  formation  of  this  all-important  structure.  God  has 
given  us  our  being  simply  as  a  foundation  or  a  granary. 
Some  of  us  have  the  yearnings,  and  all  alike  the  possi 
bilities  within  ourselves,  to  fill  that  great  storehouse  with 
the  richest  and  choicest  grain;  and  they  who  have, 
through  their  own  energy  and  effort,  brought  themselves 
to  know  the  necessary  and  nourishing  from  the  unprofit 
able  food,  and  learned  to  discern  the  gems  Irom  the  rub 
bish  and  the  grain  from  the  chaff,  have  not  only  made  an 
important  step  toward  success  in  this  life,  but  also  toward 
a  happy  entrance  into  the  life  to  come. 


54 


HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 


"  I  will  tell  you,  Mrs.  Grey,  how  long  the  innocent  are 
safe :  just  as  long  as  people  will  believe  them  such,  and 
that  does  not  depend  upon  being  able  to  prove  themselves 
clear  in  a  court  of  justice,  by  any  means.  People  used  to 
be  considered  innocent  until  proven  guilty,  but  now  the 
order  of  things  is  changed ;  now  they  are  guilty  unless 
they  can  prove  their  innocence  in  a  way  that  will  remove 
every  particle  of  that  stubborn  thing,  doubt.  You  had 
better  take  the  advice  of  a  friend  and  not  keep  the  whole 
cottage,  much  less  stay  alone,  for  I  tell  you  if  a  woman 
once  gets  herself  talked  about,  all  the  lawy.ers  and  judges 
in  New  York  City  could  not  clear  her  in  the  eyes  of  the 
people.  And  to  be  honest  with  you,  I  can't  see  myself 
why  you  persist  so  in  wanting  to  stay  alone.  We  might 
be  able  to  find  a  few  people  in  Cloverdale  that  would  be 
good  enough  to  stay  in  the  same  house  with  you." 

"It  is  not  that,  Mrs.  Jones;  but  why  should  I  not  be 
left  alone  with  my  sorrow  until  I  can  become  so  far 
accustomed  to  it  as  to  bear  it  patiently  and  in  silence?" 
she  said,  with  a  world  of  helpless  entreaty  in  her  eyes. 

"  Oh,  I  see ;  you  are  too  proud  to  let  any  one  see  your 
grief.  I  don't  believe  people  have  made  any  mistake  or 
done  you  any  injustice  there.  Have  you  bought  all  your 
mourning  yet?  They  are  selling  blacks  and  crepes  so 
cheap  now.  If  I  was  in  your  place  I  would  get  all  that 
I  needed  while  it  is  down.  I  believe  black  will  be  very 
becoming  to  you,  and  of  course  you  will  wear  nothing 
else  for  at  least  a  year  and  a  half,  then  change  off  gradu 
ally  into  modest  grays.  It  always  seems  sad  to  me  to  see 
a  woman  when  she  first  begins  to  put  off  the  mourning 
that  she  has  been  wearing  for  her  dead  husband.  It  shows 
that  even  a  widow  will  forget,  and  that  the  memory  of  her 
husband  must  give  way  to  other  interests.  I  think  the 
change  of  clothing  is  such  a  good  outward  manifestation 


TOMMY'S  DISCLOSURES.  55 

of  what  is  going  on  within.  But  such  is  life  ;  no  one  is 
remembered  long  after  they  leave  this  world.  I  always 
tell  my  husband  that  I  want  him  to  show  respect  for  me 
for  a  year — that  is  as  long  as  can  be  expected  of  a  man  ; 
but  with  a  woman  it  is  different.  If  you  buy  your  blacks 
this  week,  the  sewing  society  will  come  next  week  and 
help  you  to  make  them  up.  You  can  tell  me  what  day 
would  suit  you  best,  and  I  will  do  all  the  necessary  inviting, 
for  I  don't  believe  that  it  would  just  suit  you  to  be  asking 
favors  of  any  one.  If  I  let  them  know  in  good  time,  it 
will  give  Miss  Green  plenty  of  time  to  get  her  patterns 
ready — she  cuts  by  the  system,  you  know." 

"  I  have  no  money  with  which  to  get  anything  new. 
A  good  quality  of  black  material  is  always  expensive, 
and  a  cheaper  grade  always  rubs  off  and  would  be  very 
unhealthy  this  warm  weather.  I  have  never  worn  bright 
colors.  The  dresses  that  I  have  are  mostly  black  and  will 
have  to  do.  I  can  show  respect  for  my  dead  husband,  no 
matter  what  kind  of  clothing  I  wear.  Respect  for  the 
dead  means  something  far  different  to  me  than  the  put 
ting  on  and  laying  aside  of  wearing  apparel,  or  following 
any  set  line  of  conduct.  To  me  it  has  a  higher  and  holier 
meaning.  It  can  not  be  assumed  or  laid  aside  at  will.  It 
is  a  garment  to  be  worn  upon  the  heart ;  one  that  never 
fades,  and  need  never  be  laid  aside  to  give  place  to  an 
other,  but  can  and  should  be  worn  until  we  exchange  all 
our  earthly  robes  for  those  of  spotless  white  above." 

Mrs.  Jones  listened  to  this  speech  in  amazement,  as  if 
she  could  not  comprehend  the  meaning  of  what  she 
heard.  When  she  recovered  her  voice  enough  to  speak, 
she  said  : 

"  You  don't  mean  to  say  that  you  are  not  going  into 
regular  mourning?  Such  a  thing  lias  never  been  heard 
of  here.  Everybody  goes  into  mourning  for  a  husband 


56  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

or  father  and  mother,  and  some  have  even  worn  veils  for 
a  year  for  sister  or  brother.  Why,  the  people  would  be 
just  thunderstruck  to  see  you  coming  out  in  your  old 
clothes,  without  so  much  as  a  crepe  veil.  You  had  better 
cut  your  expenses  by  renting  a  part  of  the  cottage,  and 
go  into  regular  mourning.  It  won't  do  to  fly  into  the  face 
of  public  opinion  ;  and  you  know  that  we  are  not  to  bring 
reproach  upon  religion  by  acting  headstrong  or  looking 
odd  from  other  people." 

By  this  last  thrust  she  expected  to  gain  her  point,  and 
looked  at  Mary  Grey  in  a  way  which  plainly  said,  "There, 
now,  with  all  your  proud,  stubborn  notions,  you  can't  get 
around  that  point." 

"Have  no  fear,  Mrs.  Jones;  religion  will  not  suffer 
from  any  such  causes.  It  has  withstood  greater  tests  in 
all  ages.  It  does  not  depend  upon  the  belief  or  conduct 
of  a  person,  a  town,  or  a  nation.  It  has  outlived  the  com 
bined  forces  of  all  nations  and  Satan  himself  for  over 
eighteen  hundred  years,  and  surely  one  poor  woman  will 
not  cause  a  doubt  of  genuineness  by  doing  the  best  she 
can,  even  if  she  is  obliged  to  wear  her  old  clothes  contrary 
to  custom.  I  do  not  take  that  view  of  things  ;  I  do  not 
feel  that  it  would  be  in  disregard  to  the  memory  of  my 
husband  or  religion.  The  difference  in  the  rent  that  you 
mention  would  buy  very  little.  I  ma}-  have  a  long  life 
before  me,  and  it  may  necessitate  the  greatest  economy 
to  provide  myself  with  food  and  clothing,  but  I  think  I 
can  remodel  my  old  black  dresses  in  such  a  way  as  to 
make  them  last  for  the  time  that  you  said  I  would  be  ex 
pected  to  wear  them." 

This  was  quite  different  from  what  the  woman  had  ex 
pected.  She  had  anticipated  the  distinguished  privilege 
of  helping  to  select  and  plan  one  or  two  new  dresses,  at 
least ;  but  the  important  duty  of  attending  to  the  making 


TOMMY  S    DISCLOSURES.  57 

over  of  the  old  ones  was  still  depending  upon  her,  and 
that  was,  after  all,  very  absorbing  in  its  nature. 

"It  is  a  pity  that  you  can't  get  one  or  two  new  dresses. 
It  would  look  more  like  going  into  mourning ;  but  of 
course,  if  you  don't  see  fit,  it  not  for  me  to  say  any  more 
about  it,  for  if  a  woman  makes  up  her  mind  that  she  will 
not,  it  is  as  bad  as  if  she  could  not.  I  will  see  the  sewing 
circle,  and  between  us  we  may  be  able  to  make  your  old 
dresses  over  in  a  way  that  they  can  be  made  to  do  fairly 
well." 

Mrs.  Jones  took  her  leave  just  a  little  disappointed. 
vShe  had  not  rendered  Mrs.  Grey  near  the  assistance  she 
had  hoped  to.  "  I  don't  pretend  to  understand  her,"  she 
said  to  the  members  of  the  sewing  circle  ;  "  she  talks  as 
if  she  belonged  to  a  different  earth  from  the  rest  of  us. 
She  says  things  have  a  higher  and  holier  meaning  to  her. 
What  she  means  by  that  I  don't  pretend  to  know.  One 
thing  I  do  know  ;  that  is,  if  any  one  has  any  respect  they 
will  show  it,  and  how  is  any  one  to  do  this  unless — well 
— unless  they  do  it." 

Xo  wonder  they  did  not  understand  her ;  how  could 
they,  iu  a  place  where  people's  sorrow  was  measured  by 
the  quantity  of  tears  that  they  shed,  their  regard  for  the 
memory  of  their  dead  by  the  peculiar  shade  of  black  that 
they  put  on  and  the  length  of  time  those  habiliments  of 
woe  were  worn.  The  strict  observance  of  the  rules  that 
had  been  laid  down  seemed  to  them  to  make  amends  for 
any  other  duty  in  which  they  might  have  fallen  short. 

If  any  querulous;  ill-mated  couple  made  the  best  possi 
ble  use  of  their  time  during  the  whole  length  of  their 
natural  life  in  rendering  each  other  miserable,  and,  as 
was  sometimes  the  case,  the  husband  retired  from  the 
field  and  left  the  victory  to  his  wife  by  dying,  the  people 
would  be  oblivious  to  all  her  former  shortcomings,  and 
4 


58  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

she  would  be  regarded  in  the  light  of  a  heroine  if  she 
manifested  what  they  considered  a  due  amount  of  remorse 
in  tears  and  would  have  the  funeral  otherwise  conducted 
in  accordance  with  their  judgment :  and  the  general  ver 
dict  would  be:  "Well,  she  showed  respect  for  him,  at  least; 
why,  she  spent  her  last  cent  to  lay  him  away  respectable." 
Poor  fellow,  if  he  had  had  some  of  that  attention  shown 
him  while  he  was  still  in  the  flesh  to  be  conscious  of  and 
appreciate  it,  it  would  have  not  only  added  to  his  vanity 
and  self-esteem  but  his  comfort  and  happiness  as  well. 


CHAPTER  V. 

THE    MEETING    OF    THE    SEWING    CIRCLE. 

THE  days  that  intervened  until  the  meeting  of  the 
sewing  circle  Mary  Grey  spent  in  looking  over  her 
wardrobe.  Clothing,  in  affliction  and  out,  was  of  such 
secondary  consideration  to  her  that  she  had  not  given  the 
subject  of  what  she  should  wear  more  than  a  thought. 
The  nature  of  this  life,  with  its  sins  and  cares,  had 
always  impressed  her  too  seriously.  What  does  the  style 
of  clothes  that  we  wear  signify,  compared  to  the  nature 
of  the  food  with  which  we  fill  our  minds  and  souls !  And 
if  the  parishioners  did  sometimes  look  askance  at  her 
trim  outfit,  the  appearance  was  due  more  to  taste  than  to 
any  great  exertion  on  her  part. 

"  I  do  not  like  to  feel  ungrateful,"  she  thought,  "  but  I 
\vould  rather  sit  quietly  down  and  do  my  sewing  myself; 
but  since  they  are  coming,  I  will  have  things  in  readiness 
for  them." 

The  contents  of  one  of  the  closets  brought  to  her  notice 
another  task — a  sad  one,  that  of  laying  away  or  disposing 
of  her  husband's  clothing.  "I  will  put  them  all  carefully 
into  his  trunk  and  shall  never  part  with  them."  So,  one 
by  one,  the  articles  of  clothing  that  would  nevermore  be 
ornamented  by  the  manly  form  of  their  owner  were  laid 
with  tender  care  into  their  brief  resting  place.  She  had 
no  sooner  smoothed  the  folds  of  the  last  dear  garment 
and  tenderly,  thoughtfully  lowered  the  lid  of  the  trunk 
and  turned  the  key,  when  the  thought  came  to  her  : 

"  Would  it  not  be  selfish  to  hide  those  garments  away 
when  they  would  make  comfortable  clothing  for  a  whole 
family  of  scantily  provided  lads,  who  would  otherwise 

(59) 


60  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

have  to  go  pinched  and   shivering  through  the  coming 
winter." 

The  debate  between  selfishness  and  benevolence  in  her 
mind  was  soon  decided  in  favor  of  the  boys,  and  so  just 
as  tenderly  she  unpacked  the  trunk,  and  arranging  its 
contents  into  bundles,  she  sent  them  to  a  family  in  the 
outskirts  of  the  town,  who  had  suffered  from  want  the 
winter  before.  The  people  had  refused  to  render  assist 
ance  because  the  husband  and  father  persisted  in  spend 
ing  his  small  earnings  for  drink. 

"  It  is  not  the  poor  woman's  and  children's  fault  that 
the  man  spends  everything  for  whiskey.  I  don't  think  I 
will  be  upholding  wrong-doing,  because  it  is  not  the  poor 
helpless  beings  that  are  doing  the  wrong.  They  are  no 
more  to  blame  for  his  faults  than  I  am,  and  he  himself 
may  be  deserving  of  pity.  It  may  be  due  to  a  hereditary 
inclination  or  early  associations.  Of  one  thing  I  am 
certain,  he  would  turn  back  and  redeem  himself  if  he 
could,  but  I  am  afraid  it  is  too  late." 

She  had  seen  the  poor  wretch,  and  noticing  the  helpless 
look  in  his  eyes  she  had  nothing  but  pity  in  her  heart 
even  for  him  ;  and  feeling  certain  that  the  loving  hands 
of  the  mother  would  fashion  every  garment  that  she  sent 
her  into  so  many  small  ones  to  fit  the  sturdy  forms  of  her 
darling  boys  long  before  the  coming  winter  would  send 
its  herald  of  frosts  and  snows,  she  stifled  the  pangs  at  her 
heart,  and  only  wished  that  she  had  more  to  send  to  them. 
"  And  even  if  the  shivering  form  of  the  drunkard  should 
find  its  way  into  some  of  their  warm  folds,  I  could  be 
doing  no  great  wrong,  for  since  he  is  past  redemption 
and  can  no  longer  help  himself  or  his  family,  it  will  only 
be  a  trifle  toward  easing  the  path  to  the  close  of  a  hard 
and  hopeless  although  misspent  life  and  to  a  harder  and 
more  hopeless  grave,"  she  thought;  "and  if  it  were  not 


THE  MEETING  OF  THE  SEWIXG  CIRCLE.  6  I 

for  the  mercies  of  God,  and  we  had  to  depend  on  our  own 
merits  for  salvation,  how  few  of  us  would  have  a  right  to 
hope  ? " 

The  day  on  which  the  sewing  circle  was  to  meet  at 
Mrs.  Grey's  to  assist  her  in  remodeling  her  wardrobe 
came,  and  with  it  came  the  society,  with  an  unusually 
large  attendance  of  its  members. 

They  had  never  had  a  satisfactory  insight  into  the  life 
of  their  pastor's  wife  ;  for  while  she  had  her  husband's 
love  to  protect  her,  upheld  as  a  shield  against  even  a  chill 
from  the  outside  world,  to  encourage  her  in  "  her  inde 
pendent  and  selfish  spirit,"  as  they  expressed  it,  they  had 
stood  a  little  in  awe  of  her ;  but  now,  since  she  had  been 
deprived  of  her  staunch  body-guard,  they  were  determined 
to  satisfy  their  curiosity,  and  with  a  zest  which  plainly 
said,  We  have  been  deprived  too  long  already  of  our  rights. 

They  had  seen  a  great  deal  of  her  on  different  occasions 
and  under  different  circumstances,  but  to  go  to  her  in  her 
own  home,  in  the  role  of  helpers,  would  give  them  a  right 
not  heretofore  enjoyed.  It  would  certainly  open  up  a  flow 
of  confidence  that  could  not  fail  to  be  gratifying.  So  they 
each  one  determined  to  go  and  see  and  hear  for  herself, 
and  not  be  obliged  to  undergo  the  trying  and  mortifying 
ordeal  of  being  enlightened  by  a  second  person.  Each 
one,  as  a  self-appointed  committee  of  one  on  investiga 
tion,  went  early,  determined  on  making  the  best  of  the 
day,  but  with  a  stolid  determination  to  hide  their  inquis 
itive  natures. 

"  She  is  hard  to  understand,  but  we  will  find  out  today 
if  she  has  anything  to  give  her  a  right  to  hold  her  head 
above  the  rest  of  us,"  they  thought.  But  they  were 
doomed  to  disappointment,  for  they  soon  discovered  that 
either  her  life  was  not  such  an  enigma  after  all  or  they 
did  not  possess  the  power  to  solve  her  nature.  But  they 


62  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

did  not  know  how  correct  was  their  first  surmise.  There 
was  nothing  either  to  hide  or  disclose.  She  had  only  been 
living  her  quiet  life  in  her  own  way ;  and  even  though 
she  was  of  a  dignified  and  reserved  nature,  her  chief 
reason  for  not  speaking  of  herself  was  that  she  did  not 
think  the  subject  would  be  of  sufficient  importance  to 
warrant  attention. 

So,  as  the  day  wore  on,  with  their  eagerness  somewhat 
abated,  they  turned  their  thoughts  and  conversation  into 
other  channels. 

This  society  was  not  a  church  organization,  as  is  usu 
ally  the  case,  but  a  dozen  or  more  of  the  women  of  the 
town  who  agreed  to  go  together  and  help  any  one  who 
had  more  sewing  than  they  could  conveniently  manage 
themselves.  An  over-worked  mother,  with  her  spring  or 
fall  supply  of  little  waists  and  frocks ;  now  and  then  they 
were  called  upon  to  assist  some  in  preparing  for  an  unex 
pected  journey,  for  which  the  necessary  articles  of  cloth 
ing  were  lacking  when  the  summons  came ;  or  to  arrange 
the  toilets  of  a  whole  family  to  follow  some  loved  form  to 
the  church-yard ;  and  sometimes  they  could  even  recog 
nize  the  faint  symptoms  of  a  wedding  in  the  near  or 
remote  future,  judging  from  the  articles  entrusted  to 
their  hands — a  fact  which  the  blushing  maiden  vainly 
thought  to  have  disguised.  Women's  intuition  must  cer 
tainly  come  to  their  assistance  in  the  discovery  of  such 
things,  for  surely  there  is,  many  times,  nothing  else  that 
would  disclose  the  secret. 

The  last  place  where  the  society  had  met  was  at  the 
house  of  a  struggling  young  physician,  whose  wife  suc 
ceeded  in  making  him  happy  in  spite  of  delicate  health 
and  three  small  children.  "  Come,"  she  had  said  to  them, 
"  and  we  will  have  a  good  social  time  together." 

"  Dr.  Pence  will  never  get  anything  ahead,  if  I  am  any 


THE  MEETING  OF  THE  SEWING  CIRCLE.  63 

judge,"  said  Mrs.  Jones  to  Mrs.  Dixon.  "  It's  a  blessing 
that  he  owned  that  little  cottage  before  he  was  married  ; 
he  would  never  have  had  enough  money  again  to  buy  it, 
with  a  girl  to  manage  the  kitchen,  and  a  wrife  that  thinks 
of  nothing  but  her  children  and  white  frocks  for  herself 
to  wear.  I  don't  see  how  he  manages  to  make  both  ends 
meet  as  it  is." 

"  I  would  think  a  doctor  would  have  sense  enough  to 
choose  a  healthy  partner,  and  since  he  did  not  I  suppose 
he  will  have  to  bear  the  consequences,"  said  Mrs.  Dixon, 
a  little  meditatively. 

"  Healthy  partner,"  said  the  other,  with  a  contempt 
uous  sniff. 

"  She  would  have  just  as  much  strength  as  we  to  do 
her  own  work,  but — oh,  no  !  she  don't  care  to  put  her 
strength  to  such  use ;  no,  not  she  !  She  would  rather 
look  pretty  and  pleasant  in  the  eyes  of  her  husband  and 
his  masculine  friends,  if  the  poor  doctor  does  have  to 
strain  every  nerve  to  meet  expenses.  She  never  seems 
to  be  too  tired  to  take  walks  with  him,  and  long  ones, 
too,  that  are  a  great  deal  harder  on  her  than  doing  her 
own  work  would  be,"  said  a  third  person. 

"And  to  pose  for  his  admiration!  That  woman  would 
go  to  no  end  of  trouble  to  get  a  smile  from  a  man.  If 
her  own  should  be  taken,  she  would  go  on  posing  for 
others.  It's  her  nature.  She  don't  care,  as  long  as  she  is 
pleasing  a  man,  who  he  might  be.  And  she  is  no  sort 
of  a  manager,  any  way,"  went  on  Mrs.  Jones.  "  I  was 
astonished  when  she  brought  out  her  sewing:  ribbons 
and  everything  of  the  best  quality.  Much  cheaper  lace 
would  have  done  just  as  well  for  her  children's  clothes. 
There  are  a  great  many  just  as  good  as  hers  that  must  go 
without  any.  I  don't  say  anything  against  her  buying 
lace,  if  she  thinks  she  must  have  it,  but  I  could  have 


6^  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

done  so  much  better  with  the  same  amount  of  money.  I 
have  helped  so  many  expectant  mothers  who  had  small 
purses  that  I  know  just  how  to  go  about  such  things,  and 
that  to  the  best  advantage,  too." 

She  looked  about  to  see  how  this  last  insinuation  would 
be  received  by  her  listeners.  But  they  would  not  have 
had  their  faces  change  expression  for  the  world ;  it  would 
have  given  Mrs.  Jones  too  much  gratification  to  see  that 
her  remark  suggested  anything  new.  But  that  lady 
went  on  the  same  as  if  they  had  expressed  the  greatest 
surprise : 

"  You  may  wonder,  because  some  people  never  could 
see  as  far  as  others  and  never  will ;  but  those  things  we 
sewed  on  are  not  all  for  the  three  babes  already  in  the 
world.  I  took  the  hint  as  soon  as  she  told  us  that  we 
did  not  need  to  finish  that  one  lot.  You  know  she  told 
us  she  could  put  the  bands  and  things  on  herself.  I 
thought  as  soon  as  I  saw  them  that  they  were  an  odd 
size.  She  may  be  able  to  fool  some,  but  people  would 
have  to  be  slyer  even  than  she  is  to  keep  me  in  the  dark 
long." 

"  Three  babies  !  Sure  enough,  what  are  any  of  them 
but  babies?"  said  Mrs.  Dixon.  "I  would  think  three 
small  ones  enough  at  a  time;  but  some  people  go  on  as  if 
they  thought  no  one  could  bring  as  good  children  into  the 
world  as  they,  and  they  had  to  do  their  best — especially 
doctors  and  ministers.  But  their  children  never  happen 
to  turn  out  any  better  than  others  who  do  not  have  such 
pious  and  healthy  influences  thrown  around  them." 

This  last  sally  created  a  hearty  laugh.  It  savored  of  a 
wit  uncommon  even  with  Mrs.  Dixoii: 

"  If  husbands  were  all  as  easy  pleased  as  the  doctor," 
she  went  on  to  say,  "  we  would  none  of  us  need  to  do 
anything  but  look  pretty,  act  sweet,  and  have  babies. 


THE  MKKTIXG  OF  THE  SEWING  CIRCLE.  65 

They  say  she  superintends  everything  from  garret  to 
cellar,  but  I  know  she  don't  do  a  bit  of  the  work  or  she 
couldn't  keep  her  hands  and  dress  as  white  as  she  does. 
But  they  do  say  that  she  never  lets  the  doctor  sit  down 
to  the  table  until  she  has  seen  that  everything  is  all 
right — but  if  she  wTas  obliged  to  cook  the  meal  herself,  I 
will  warrant  you  she  wouldn't  be  so  particular  about  the 
exact  whiteness  of  the  table-cloth  and  the  kind  of  bouquet 
that  she  has  on  the  table." 

"And  the  kind  of  table  she  sets  is  enough  to  break  up 
a  man  with  a  larger  practice  than  her  husband  has,"  said 
a  fourth  speaker.  "  It  was  wyell  enough  for  her  to  show 
her  appreciation  of  our  visit  by  giving  us  a  good  dinner, 
but  they  say  that  she  is  just  as  particular  when  they  are 
alone,  and  always  uses  her  best  china  and  spoons ;  but 
some  women  do  know  how7  to  keep  in  the  good  graces  of 
the  men,  if  they  are  not  fit  for  another  earthly  thing." 

It  would  appear  that  the  women  considered  this  last  her 
crowning  fault,  for  which  they  could  not  \vell  forgive  her. 
Poor  foolish  women  ;  they  could  not  or  would  not  under 
stand  that  those  lordly  creatures  could  be  swayed  by  those 
same  softnesses  and  small  attentions  usually  attributed  to 
the  weaker  sex  alone. 

The  society,  after  rendering  decisions  for  and  against 
several  others  of  their  sex,  whom  they  had  seen  fit  to  try 
at  their  tribunal,  left  the  house  of  Mrs.  Grey  well  satisfied 
with  their  day's  sewing,  but  far  from  exultant  over  the 
termination  of  various  little  projects  that  they  had  in 
their  several  minds  and  which  they  had  intended,  if  a 
favorable  opportunity  presented  itself,  to  propose  to  the 
lady.  Hut  remembering  the  manner  in  which  their  offers 
had  been  received  by  her  before,  each  one  resolved  that 
the  rest  should  not  see  their  discomfiture  :  so  they  carried 
their  plans,  with  which  they  had  come  abundantly  sup- 


66  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

plied,  away  with  them  again.  They  felt  no  nearer  to  her 
than  they  had  before,  and  only  were  strengthened  in  the 
belief  of  the  haughtiness  of  the  woman,  whose  quiet 
dignity  they  could  not  understand. 

"  If  that  is  all  she  cares  about  her  husband,"  said  one, 
"  no  wonder  that  she  did  not  want  to  go  into  mourning. 
She  would  not  have  said  a  word  about  him  all  day  if  I 
had  not  commenced  three  or  four  times,  and  then  she 
hardly  answered  me.  When  women  don't  act  natural 
about  such  things,  especially  about  a  husband,  you  may 
make  up  your  mind  that  their  thoughts  are  pretty  equally 
divided  between  the  dead  and  the  living.  I  never  saw 
one  act  like  her  yet  that  did  not  have  a  beau  openly  in 
six  months,  and  one  on  the  sly  long  before  that.  She 
knows  what  is  becoming  to  her.  too.  She  will  look  rather 
nice  in  those  dresses,  if  they  are  only  old  ones  made  over. 
If  we  had  kno\vn  before  what  we  know  now,  we  would 
have  left  her  do  her  own  work ;  she  will  only  have  that 
much  more  time  to  practice  her  wiles." 

They  did  not  acknowledge,  even  to  themselves,  that 
the  worst  trouble  lay  in  the  fact  that  they  gained  such 
little  information,  to  what  they  had  expected,  in  exchange 
for  their  day's  labor. 

"I  feel  sorry  for  our  girls,"  said  Mrs.  Jones;  "the 
young  men  were  scarce  enough  without  a  young  widow 
to  take  her  pick  and  choice,  but  how  will  it  be  now? 
They  might  just  as  well  wait  and  see  who  she  wants,  and 
then  the  rest  take  who  are  left.  It  comes  to  about  that 
when  there  is  one  of  those  conceited  creatures  about ; 
but  there  is  one  consolation  :  they  can  none  of  them  take 
more  than  one.  Some  of  them  act  as  if  they  thought 
they  could  get  them  all,  if  they  were  only  allowed  the 
privilege." 

"The  next  thing  they  will  do,"  said   Mrs.  Dixon,  "or 


THK  MEETING  OF  THE  SEWING  CIRCLE.  67 

would  like  to  do  at  least,  would  be  to  establish  a  religion 
somewhat  like  the  Mormons,  where  good-looking  and 
fascinating  widows  would  be  allowed  to  have  all  the 
husbands  they  could  captivate  by  fair  means  or  foul  ones. 
I  am  glad  that  we  all  have  husbands,  or  little  hope  there 
would  be  for  us  now.  Oh,  I  had  almost  forgotten  Miss 
Green,  but  perhaps  the  pretty  widow7  Grey  will  leave  one 
for  her.  We  will  all  join  our  hopes  to  that  effect.  Miss 
Green,  I  hope  you  were  not  wickedly  tempted  to  make 
some  miscuts  on  her  dresses,  because  such  thoughts 
would  be  wrong,  you  know;  but  it  does  seem  almost  like 
a  pity  that  we  could  not  make  her  look  just  a  little  round- 
shouldered,  or  rainbow  hipped,  or  her  skirts  to  sway  in 
the  back  or  on  one  side  or  something.  I  am  almost  sorry 
that  we  did  not,  on  the  girls'  account.  I  am  afraid  that 
some  of  them  will  have  to  die  old  maids  now,  for  when  a 
pretty  widow  once  turns  the  men's  heads,  they  are  more 
exacting  and  capricious  than  ever,  and  they  always  were 
hard  enough  to  suit.  Don't  you  find  them  just  a  little 
that  way,  Miss  Green?" 

Miss  Green,  who  had  all  day  been  the  target  for  the 
whole  company's  wit  and  satire,  had  borne  it  with  a 
fortitude  that  could  only  be  acquired  by  years  of  experi 
ence  and  the  strictest  discipline,  but  she  found  this  last 
thrust  exasperating  in  the  extreme.  "  Mrs.  Dixon,  to 
hear  you  women  talk  one  would  think  that  the  only 
lucky  or  sensible  thing  any  of  you  ever  did  was  when 
you  managed  to  get  husbands  for  yourselves  ;  and  judg 
ing  from  appearances,  some  had  better  never  have  broken 
their  records,  for  I  see  proof  every  day  that  there  are  some 
things  in  this  life  to  be  borne  that  are  even  worse  than 
living  a  single  life.  But  that  is  the  way  with  married 
women.  They  think  that  the  simple  fact  that  they  have 
husbands  gives  them  a  ri«:ht  to  sneer  over  and  insult  the 


68  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

rest  of  us,  even  if  those  lucky  possessions  do  whip  them 
six  days  out  of  seven,  and  make  them  earn  the  living  for 
the  whole  family,  themselves  included,  where  they  ought 
to  look  up  to  us  with  respect  for  our  good  judgment  in 
remaining  single,"  said  Miss  Green,  her  words  gaining 
strength  as  she  proceeded. 

"Certainly,"  replied  Mrs.  Dixon,  "we  have  an  un 
bounded  regard  for  your  good  sense,  especially  when 
your  judgment  is  so  in  accordance  \vith  the  essential  part 
of  the  programme.  It  is  even  better  than  yielding  with 
a  good  grace,  when  you  are  defeated  in  some  earnest 
attempt ;  and  that  virtue,  you  know,  is  a  pearl  of  great 
price  to  which  we  can  not  all  lay  claim.  Oh,  yes,  we 
hope  to  be  able  to  do  you  justice  as  superior  beings,  for 
while  most  of  us  would  be  glad  to  be  able  to  retire  in  a 
self-satisfying  and  becoming  manner  when  we  are  worst 
ed,  you  are  wise  enough  to  take  time  by  the  forelock, 
and  arrange  your  judgment  to  fit  the  circumstances  as 
they  occur ;  but  it  is  a  sore  pity  that  the  members  of  the 
other  sex  are  so  blind  to  your  innate  wisdom,  or  a  bless 
ing,  I  should  say,  for  the}'  might  realize  what  is  slipping 
from  their  grasp,  and  cause  you,  as  unwilling  as  you 
might  be,  to  rearrange  the  whole  structure  of  your  reso 
lutions.  Indeed,  Miss  Green,  the  blindness  of  the  fra 
ternity  is  something  for  which  you  should  feel  thankful, 
for  it  no  doubt  saves  you  no  end  of  trouble ;  and  the 
power  to  appreciate  is  necessary  to  a  pattern  of  perfect 
womanhood,  which,  I  have  no  doubt,  every  single 
woman  is." 

"  Well,  Mrs.  Dixon,  married  life  must  have  been  a 
success  in  your  case,  as  a  tongue-sharpening  process ; 
and  it  seems  to  be  the  case  with  most  of  you.  Then 
when  you  have  succeeded  in  getting  such  an  edge  on 
that  member  as  is  not  even  necessary  for  domestic  pur- 


THE  MEETING  OF*  THE  SEWING  CIRCLE.  69 

poses,  you  try  to  bring  them  back  to  their  normal  con 
dition  by  practicing  them  on  us,  and  in  that  way  we  are 
obliged  to  help  bear  the  evil  effects  of  married  life,  if  we 
have  avoided  and  escaped  the  snare  ourselves.  The 
worst  feature  of  single  life,"  Miss  Green  went  on  con 
temptuously,  "  is  the  fact  that  ever}'  woman  who  has  a 
husband,  no  matter  if  he  is  what  God  intended  such  a 
partner  should  be  or  the  very  poorest  excuse  for  one, 
looks  upon  us  with  pity,  not  the  kind  however  that  is 
akin  to  love,  but  nearer  akin  to  contempt.  They  think 
that  we  must  be  pining  and  fretting,  and  they  only 
wonder  that  we  exist  at  all.  If  you  only  knew  how  well- 
satisfied  we  are,  you  would  reserve  your  sympathy  for  a 
more  needy  cause.  Who  ever  heard  of  a  free  bird  want 
ing  to  get  into  a  cage,  no  matter  how  hard  those  already 
caught  might  try  to  attract  it?  " 

"When  people  can  tell  by  certain  indications  that  the 
bird  is  no  longer  young,  there  are  fewer  snares  set  for  it. 
I  am  glad  to  hear  that  single  life  is  so  satisfactory  and 
delightful  to  you,  and  I  think  you  will  be  allowed  to  con 
tinue  in  that  serene  state,  if  the  lovely  widow  Grey  sees 
fit  to  wield  her  scepter.  If  there  should  be  any  who  are 
not  so  well  satisfied  with  single  blessedness,  however, 
they  had  better  make  hay  while  the  sun  shines,  for  they 
will  still  have  a  few  days  of  grace  before  the  widow  can, 
in  common  decency,  come  into  full  power." 

Miss  Green's  eyes  spoke  volumes,  which  her  tongue 
denied  to  utter.  She  never  could  be  persuaded  to  make 
a  reply  to  any  insinuation  that  might  be  indulged  in 
respecting  her  age — that  would  come  too  near  admitting 
the  facts  of  the  remark. 

"Sees  fit,"  she  said  witli  a  sneer,  "of  course  she  sees 
fit  even  now,  and  is  only  waiting  for  her  chosen  subjects 
to  see  fit  to  come  under  her  rule.  Those  davs  of  »:race 


70  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

will  be  what  people  assign  to  her,  and  not  what  she  will 
pray  for.  Not  but  what  she  will  want  the  grace ;  it  is  the 
days  that  she  would  gladly  dispense  with.  Oh,  of  course, 
it  is  nothing  to  me  how  many  of  those  fool-hardy  beings 
she  succeeds  in  wheedling,  for  I  never  did  have  any  use 
for  her.  I  can  not  endure  any  one  who  acts  as  if  they 
thought  the  town  was  built  for  them,  when  they  have 
only  been  in  it  a  year,  and  those  who  have  lived  in  it  all 
their  lives  are  simply  there  by  their  sufferance ;  and  her 
actions  carry  out  that  idea  perfectly.  If  those  dresses 
we  made  today  were  not  becoming,  we  might  have  done 
the  day's  work  for  nothing  for  all  the  good  that  she 
would  get  from  them.  I  did  not  want  to  go  in  the  first 
place,  and  when  I  got  there  I  had  all  I  could  do  to  keep 
my  scissors  from  cutting  the  goods  into  anything  but 
shapely  garments.  The  idea  of  her  staying  there  alone ! 
That  proves  what  she  is.  She  thinks  no  one  is  quite 
good  enough  to  live  under  the  same  roof  with  such  a 
person  as  she  is.  Mother  is  always  sympathizing  with 
everybody,  and  offered  her  assistance  in  finding  some 
one,  but  her  haughtiness  replied  that  she  had  concluded 
to  stay  alone,  and  no  one  need  take  any  further  trouble. 
We  shan't  take  any  more  trouble  to  oblige  her,  I  know. 
The  time  may  come  when  she  would  be  glad  to  have 
some  one  to  take  her  part  and  help  her.  Pride  always 
goes  before  a  fall." 

By  this  time  the  two  had  reached  a  point  where  they 
separated.  Miss  Green  went  her  way  still  tingling  with 
the  vexations  of  the  day.  The  fact  that  she  had  worked 
hard  all  day  for  one  whom  she  bore  no  good  will  was  bad 
enough,  but  these  women  had  made  the  day  almost  in 
tolerable  by  their  taunting  remarks— remarks  in  which 
they  never  failed  to  indulge  whenever  a  favorable  oppor 
tunity  presented  itself,  and  without  questioning  their 
rights. 


THE  MEETING  OK  THE  SEWING  CIRCLE.  7  I 

The  social  position  of  a  single  woman  is  never  an 
enviable  one  in  a  town  the  size  of  Cloverdale,  after  she 
has  once  crossed  the  dividing  line  ( wherever  the  people 
may  see  fit  to  place  it)  between  girlhood  and  "  old  maid- 
hood."  Every  child  in  town  knew,  even  before  it  was 
able  to  lisp  the  name,  that  "  Tara  Dreen "  was  an 
"o'maid."  No  wonder  the  poor  girl  had  become  sensi 
tive  on  that  point.  She  knew  that  the  talk  of  the  chil 
dren  was  only  an  echo  from  the  voices  of  their  parents, 
who,  no  matter  how  unfortunate  their  marriage  proved 
to  be,  never  failed  to  apply  to  her  the  disrespectful  term 
in  a  disrespectful  manner.  They  did  not  stop  to  think 
that  a  dissatisfied  single  life  was  preferable  to  an  unhappy 
married  one,  and  that  although  a  single  woman  missed 
some  of  life's  joys,  she  also  escaped  many  of  its  sorrows. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

THE    COMPARISON. 

THE  first  of  September  found  Mary  Grey  still  occupy 
ing  the  little  cottage  to  which  her  heart  clung  so 
fondly.  After  a  few  more  futile  attempts  at  interference, 
the  people  had  left  her  to  her  own  inclinations.  She 
went  about  with  a  quiet  dignity  which,  because  it  was 
not  understood,  went  still  further  toward  hardening  their 
hearts  against  her.  She  taught  her  three  pupils,  sang  in 
the  choir,  and  attended  all  the  religious  services ;  but  the 
loneliness  of  her  heart  only  her  God  and  those  wrho  have 
had  similar  experience  will  ever  know,  and  if  those  who 
were  watching  her  with  such  cold,  critical  eyes  only  knew 
it,  she  carried  in  her  bosom  the  most  humble  and  contrite 
spirit  of  all. 

She  was  far  from  under -estimating  the  value  of  a 
human  soul,  but  she  had  seen  her  husband's  life,-  which 
had  seemed  so  valuable  in  her  sight,  had  seemed  like  a 
beacon-light  along  the  shores  of  sin  and  folly,  go  sud 
denly  out,  and  her  heart  alone  seemed  left  in  darkness. 
"  Oh,"  she  thought,  sadly,  "  if  God  in  his  plan  can  so 
easily  dispense  with  a  life  like  his,  \vhat  in  comparison 
would  be  the  value  of  mine?  Even  though  we  be  the 
noblest  of  God's  handiwork,  we  as  individuals,  are  but 
specks  in  his  sight,  for  there  are  millions — yes,  multiplied 
millions  of  beings  like  ourselves,  with  the  same  hopes, 
fears,  and  aspirations  thrilling  their  heart's  blood,  and 
whose  lives,  no  matter  what  their  lots  on  earth  may  be, 
are  of  as  much  importance  to  them  as  ours  are  to  us. 
God  has  only  bestowed  upon  us  this  life  to  be  held  in 
trust  for  the  advancement  of  his  cause  and  the  alleviation 

(72) 


COMPARISON.  73 

of  the  burdens  of  those  about  us.  If  we  do  fall  short 
in  our  stewartship  here,  we  can  but  carry  it  modestly 
until  He  sends  to  us  the  message  to  lay  it  down. 

"  It  will  be  impossible  to  stay  here  longer  than  this 
month,  even  if  I  succeed  in  getting  more  pupils.  I  can 
not  pay  for  more  than  two  rooms,  with  the  additional 
expense  of  fuel  and  warm  clothing." 

She  felt  more  sad  and  lonely  than  usual  on  this  bright 
September  morning.  "  If  our  marriage  had  only  been 
blessed  with  a  child,  what  a  comfort  it  would  be.  With 
the  soft,  clinging  arms  of  a  babe — his  babe  and  my  babe — 
about  my  neck,  I  could  bear  almost  anything.  God  would 
have  provided  a  wa}T  for  me  to  support  it.  But  for  what  ? 
Might  it  not  have  been  born  to  lead  a  lonely  life,  like  I 
am  today?  After  all,  the  wish  is  a  selfish  one — one  in 
which  I  will  never  indulge  again." 

She  tried  bravely  to  put  the  longing  from  her  that  is  so 
deeply  rooted  in  the  heart  of  every  true  woman  ;  for  the 
maternal  instinct,  which  is  so  unmistakably  evinced  in 
her  infancy,  develops  with  her  years,  and  grows  in  depth 
and  strength  from  the  time  that  she  clasps  the  first  tiny 
puppet  in  her  hands,  on  through  her  childhood,  when  her 
heart  overflows  with  love  for  anything  that  she  can  clasp 
to  her  bosom,  no  matter  how  slight  the  resemblance  to  a 
doll  may  be.  The  kitten,  the  little  bantam  hen,  and  if 
she  is  reared  in  the  country  even  the  long-necked  pump 
kin,  will  come  in  for  a  share  of  her  affections.  Then,  as 
she  grows  from  childhood  into  girlhood  and  develops  into 
womanhood,  she  alone  knows  how  reluctantly  those  imi 
tations  are  laid  away ;  and  even  after  the  family  have 
ceased  to  see  them,  she  will  steal  away  to  their  place  of 
safe-keeping  to  take  a  look  at  them  or  rearrange  their 
apparel.  It  is  about  this  time  that  her  heart's  capacity  is 
such  as  to  be  able  to  take  in  all  babyhood,  regardless  of 
5 


74  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

condition  or  kind,  and  the  mere  sight  of  one  of  those 
heaven-sent  blessings  causes  such  a  flood  of  tenderness 
to  sweep  over  her  heart  as  she  could  never  express. 

Then,  as  time  goes  on,  a  feeling  will  creep  into  her 
heart ;  yes,  it  is  a  yearning,  sly  at  first — unconscious,  it 
may  be,  but  none  the  less  increasing  in  strength  and 
earnestness — to  have  a  tiny  form  of  her  own  flesh  and 
blood  to  press  to  her  heart. 

Oh,  woman,  you  who  can  not  bar  your  heart  against 
this  longing,  deign  not  to  conceal  it.  It  is  your  rightful 
heritage.  Had  not  God  implanted  this  instinct  and  ten 
derness  in  the  feminine  heart,  sad  indeed  would  be  not 
only  the  advent  of  those  little  strangers  into  the  world 
but  thorny  the  paths  their  tiny  feet  must  tread. 

But  empty,  indeed,  must  be  the  heart  of  the  woman 
who  carries  this  longing  through  life  without  having  felt 
the  touch  of  those  helpless  little  fingers  upon  the  main 
spring  of  her  affections,  to  draw  from  her  bosom  the 
pent-up  love  and  strength  that  she  feels  congealing  there. 
For  not  only  is  it  necessary  to  the  happiness  of  a  woman 
to  love  and  be  loved,  but  to  have  some  being  dependant 
upon  her  for  comfort,  some  one  who  demands  (although 
many  times  unjustly)  her  time,  strength,  and  attention; 
for  a  woman's  heart  must  be  in  bondage  in  order  to  be 
free,  and  the  one  that  must  exist  without  will  reach  a 
stunted  vitality  at  best,  then  withers  and  dies — for  many 
dead  hearts  lie  buried  in  living  tombs.  But  there  is  a 
home  where  not  only  the  builder  and  foundation  but  the 
whole  structure  is  Love  and  no  heart  will  be  unsatisfied. 
Mary  Grey  sat  thinking,  the  tears  coursing  their  way 
unheeded  down  her  cheeks.  At  last  she  aroused  herself. 
"  I  must  obtain  more  work,  and  stern  necessity  overcomes 
all  obstacles.  I  will  write  to  Colonel  Wilkins  today  ;  his 
children  are  all  boys,  and  may  not  object  to  coming  to 


THE    COMPARISON.  75 

town  for  their  lessons.  But  I  ma}'  be  too  late — it  has 
been  so  long  since  I  first  heard  of  them  ;  but  I  can  but 
try. 

"  The  poor  are  denied  even  the  luxury  of  grief,"  she 
thought,  drying  her  tears  and  seating  herself  at  her  writ 
ing  desk.  "If  I  cry  too  much  I  will  spoil  my  voice,  and 
that  is  my  only  source  of  gaining  a  living."  And  a  flush 
crossed  her  face  as  she  remembered  a  conversation  that 
she  had  overheard  between  some  women  in  the  church- 
house.  She  had  gone  early  to  prayer  services  one 
Wednesday  evening,  and  when  she  reached  there  the 
house  was  still  in  darkness.  The  door  \vas  open  and  she 
went  quietly  in,  and  unobserved,  for  she  soon  found  that 
there  were  others  before  her. 

"  Do  you  think  that  she  will  stay  here  all  winter?" 

Those  were  the  first  words  which  attracted  her  atten 
tion,  but  she  did  not  know  that  they  were  speaking  of 
her  until  she  heard  one  of  them  answer  with  spirit : 

''I  for  one  can  not  see  what  would  keep  her.  Brother 
Grey  has  been  dead  over  three  months  now,  and  what 
has  kept  her  this  long  I  can't  see.  She  surely  can't  make 
her  living  by  giving  three  lessons  a  week,  and  Sarah 
Green  says  that  is  all  the  pupils  that  she  has.  She  sings 
like  a  nightingale.  The  poor  man  always  thought  that 
she  was  singing  to  him.  He  quite  doted  on  her  singing. 
It  is  well  that  he  died  without  finding  her  out." 

Alary  Grey  could  hardly  believe  her  ears.  Was  it  pos 
sible  that  they  were  speaking  of  her?  Yes,  there  could 
be  no  mistake.  The  next  thought  was  :  "  I  am  listening 
to  what  was  not  intended  for  my  ears."  She  had  no  desire 
to  hear  more,  but  a  heavy  feeling  at  her  heart  weighed 
her  down. 

"  I  wonder  if  she  thinks  that  she  can  sing  herself  into 
the  hearts  of  other  men  like  she  did  into  that  of  Brother 


76  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

Grey?  Poor  man,  she  will  not  always  be  his  widow.  The 
half  weeds  that  she  is  wearing  for  him  will  soon  wither 
and  be  cast  aside,"  said  another. 

"  I  know  what  I  think,"  she  heard  the  familiar  voice 
of  Mrs.  Jones  say,  "  and  I  don't  believe  I  am  mistaken, 
either.  My  husband  told  me  something  the  other  day 
which  opened  my  eyes.  I  believe  that  I  know  why  she 
stays  here  and  sings  like  a  lark,  but  I  would  not  be  heard 
repeating  it  for  the  world."  And  then  there  was  a  stir  as 
if  several  heads  were  going  together,  and  then  a  whisper 
— but  it  was  one  of  those  peculiar  sounds  that  are  carried 
farther  than  any  loud  talk.  "They  say  that  she  has  set 
her  cap  straight  at  Squire  Whitby's  son !  and  since  it  is  a 
widow's  cap,  it  surely  ought  to  win.  You  know  that  the 
cottage  that  she  lives  in  belongs  to  the  aid  squire,  and 
they  say  that  he  himself  is  losing  his  head  about  her.  I 
would  not  be  surprised  if  he  left  her  live  there  rent  free  ; 
and  they  say  he  comes  there  oftener  than  would  be  neces 
sary  if  he  charged  her  double  rent !  But  if  she  is  after 
the  son,  the  father  would  not  get  her  if  he  left  her  have 
the  cottage  for  nothing  and  found  her  living  besides — but 
there  are  no  fools  like  the  old  ones,  you  know." 

"  The  brazen  thing  !  "  said  Mrs.  Dixon,  who  had  here 
tofore  been  silent.  She  had  a  daughter  who  was  verging 
into  womanhood,  and  had  always  looked  upon  Frank 
Whitby  as  a  prize  well  worth  winning.  "  She  reminds 
me  of  a  canary  that  I  had  one  spring.  I  had  made  up 
my  mind  to  find  him  a  little  mate.  He  was  such  a  sweet 
singer,  and  I  wanted  to  raise  one  to  learn  from  him  before 
he  got  too  old.  But  the  little  hen  bird  sickened  and  died. 
While  she  was  ailing  he  seemed  in  sore  distress,  flapping 
his  little  wings  at  her  and  trying  to  raise  her  with  his 
bill.  It  was  quite  touching  to  see  him  go  on  so.  After  she 
was  dead  I  thought  to  put  a  bit  of  crepe  about  his  neck. 


THK    COMPARISON.  77 

He  moped  until  I  took  the  little  lifeless  form  from  the 
cage,  then  flew  upon  his  perch  and  sang  as  I  had  never 
heard  him  sing  before.  Then  I  thought,  He}7,  my  fine 
fellow,  it's  little  crepe  that  you  need  ;  so  I  concluded  to 
reserve  my  sympathy  for  a  more  worthy  object.  So  it 
is  with  her.  When  Brother  Grey  died,  I  really  had  it  in 
my  heart  to  pity  her,  but,  like  with  my  bird,  I  soon  found 
that  she  would  neither  need  nor  appreciate  my  sympathy, 
but  could  sing  as  sweet  as  ever." 

She  had  not  stayed  to  hear  more,  but  -had  stole  quietly 
out  and  gone  back  home.  She  was  not  angry  ;  her  feel 
ings  were  too  deep  for  that.  "  I  must  certainly  be  very 
disagreeable  to  them,  or  they  would  never  say  such 
things."  The  idea  that  a  company  of  rational  beings 
could  handle  the  good  name  of  any  so  carelessly,  simply 
for  the  enjoyment  that  their  remarks  afforded  them,  had 
never  entered  her  mind. 

"  How  can  I  act  so  as  not  to  be  so  distasteful  to  the 
people  about  me  ?  I  would  not  have  these  women  know 
that  I  overheard  their  conversation.  Anything  would  be 
preferable  to  having  them  all  meet  me  with  half  averted 
faces,  as  I  know  they  would  be  sure  to  do  if  they  found 
out  that  I  had  overheard  their  talk." 

And  on  this  morning  as  she  sat  at  her  desk  she  thought, 
"  Xo  wonder  that  I  remind  Mrs.  Dixon  of  her  bird,  that 
was  a  good  comparison,"  and  she  smiled  sadly,  "  but  I 
am  different  from  the  canary  in  one  respect  at  least,  my 
living  depends  upon  my  singing  and  it's  did  not.  But 
Robert  would  have  me  be  brave,  and  I  suppose  this 
thoughtless  talk  is  one  of  the  things  that  I  will  be  obliged 
to  bear." 

She  set  herself  about  her  task  of  writing,  and  began  : 
"  Colonel  Wilkins,  I  am  the  widow  of  Robert  Grey,  late 
pastor  of  the  church  of  this  place."  But  the  task  proved 


78  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

harder  than  she  had  anticipated.  Before  her  marriage 
she  had  written  such  letters  at  different  times,  but  it  was 
different  now.  She  had  known  for  three  brief  years  what 
it  was  to  have  some  one  to  care,  think  and  act  for  her, 
some  one  who  had  her  comfort  and  happiness  uppermost 
in  his  mind.  "  What  will  I  tell  him  ?  Will  I  tell  him 
that  I  am  sorely  in  need  of  employment,  almost  in  actual 
want  ?  I  am  afraid  that  would  have  very  little  influence 
upon  his  decision.  It  is  not  our  needs  but  our  ability  to 
fill  a  position  that  will  secure  it  for  us.  But  I  will  soon 
be  in  actual  want."  And  allowing  the  thought  upper 
most  in  her  mind  to  guide  her  hand,  she  went  on  :  "And 
since  his  death  have  been  thrown  upon  my  own  resources. 
I  have  been  told  that  you  wanted  an  instructor  in  music 
for  your  children,  a  position  that  I  would  be  glad  to  fill; 
and  hearing  that  your  children  were  all  boys,  I  thought 
they  might  not  object  to  coming  to  town,  since  I  have  no 
way  to  come  to  them.  Hoping  that  you  will  consider  my 
application,  and  let  me  hear  from  you  at  once,  I  am,  very 
respectfully  yours." 

She  signed  her  name,  and  hastily  inserted  her  letter. 
Then  without  addressing  the  envelope  she  went  for  her 
hat  and  started  for  the  home  of  Mrs.  Ferris.  Ten  o'clock 
was  the  time  set  for  the  daughter's  lessons,  and  it  only 
lacked  a  few  moments  of  that  time,  but  there  were  only 
two  houses  between  her  home  and  that  of  her  pupil,  and 
she  reached  the  door  just  as  the  clock  struck  the  hour. 

"  It  is  hard  to  tell  which  is  the  best  time  keeper,  you 
or  the  clock,"  said  Mrs.  Ferris,  who  answered  her  ring. 
"  My  daughter  has  gone  for  a  drive  to  the  country  this 
morning.  She  wanted  to  come  past  and  let  you  know, 
but  I  told  her  to  let  you  come  over,  it  is  so  near,  and  I 
wanted  to  see  you.  Come  into  the  parlor  and  we  will 
have  an  hour's  talk,  and  it  shall  be  the  same  as  if  you 
had  devoted  the  time  to  music." 


THK    COMPARISON.  79 

"Affairs  have  become  somewhat  complicated  with  us. 
I  will  state  the  case  to  you,  and  then  we  will  see  if  you 
could  not  help  me  out  of  the  difficult}" :  My  brother  and 
his  wife  always  spend  September  and  October  at  my 
house.  They  will  be  here  this  afternoon.  My  sister-in- 
law  is  not  strong,  and  requires  the  greatest  ease  and  quiet. 
I  had  engaged  the  varnishers  and  paper  hangers  a  month 
ago  to  go  over  the  entire  house.  I  wanted  to  have  it  all 
done  before  my  company  came,  but  the  men  kept  putting 
me  off  from  time  to  time,  and  this  morning  sent  me  word 
that  they  would  be  on  hand  to-morrow.  It  seems  as 
though  I  was  obliged  to  take  them  in  their  own  good 
time,  and  it  will  take  them  several  days.  It  will  be  a 
week  before  the  house  will  be  in  a  condition  to  accommo 
date  any  one  in  her  state  of  health.  Your  house  is  so 
convenient  and  quiet.  It  would  be  a  great  favor  to  me  if 
you  could  entertain  them  for  a  week  or  ten  days.  My 
brother  always  waits  upon  his  wife  when  he  is  with  her. 
I  will  send  them  their  meals,  and  between  us  we  will 
manage  to  make  it  as  little  trouble  as  possible  to  you.  I 
would  postpone  the  work  until  after  their  visit,  but  that 
would  make  it  too  late  in  the  season,  for  she  stays  until 
the  winter  drives  her  southward  and  homeward.  I  would 
be  so  glad  if  you  would  give  them  shelter  for  the  time 
being,  and  if  you  can  make  arrangements  on  such  short 
notice,  I  will  have  them  driven  directly  to  your  house, 
and  your  kindness  shall  not  soon  be  forgotten." 

"  I  would  be  glad  to  be  of  service  to  you  in  any  way, 
and  if  your  brother  and  his  wife  will  be  satisfied  with  the 
accommodations  that  I  can  give  them,  they  will  be  wel 
come  to  my  house.  I  will  stay  where  I  am  until  the  end 
of  the  month,  and  a  week  will  not  interfere  with  any  ar 
rangements  that  will  be  necessary  in  order  to  make  the 
change.  The  hospitality  that  I  can  offer  them  is  always 


80  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

in  readiness,  so  I  will  be  fully  prepared  to  receive  them 
this  afternoon." 

"  I  thank  you  heartily  for  your  kindness.  You  speak 
of  a  change  I  was  not  aware  of.  I  am  sorry  that 
you  find  it  desirable  to  make  any  change.  Where  you 
live  is  such  a  nice,  neat  little  place,  that  I  was  in  hopes 
you  liked  it  well  enough  to  stay.  We  would  be  sorry  to 
lose  you  from  our  neighborhood.  I  don't  believe  you 
could  do  better  anywhere,  but  I  suppose  you  do  get 
lonely.  I  would  have  come  to  see  you  myself,  and  would 
have  sent  Ellen  many  times,  had  I  not  thought  that  you 
might  prefer  being  alone.  It  is  so  hard  to  understand 
each  other's  dispositions.  If  our  society  would  have  been  . 
any  comfort  to  you  I  am  sorry  that  we  have  been  so  neg 
lectful  ;  but  if  you  stay  with  us  we  will  promise  to  be 
kind  to  you." 

"Yes,  I  expect  to  move  the  last  of  this  month.  The 
change  will  be  necessary.  I  would  gladly  stay  where  I 
am  if  I  could  afford  it,  but  my  earnings  would  not  pay 
expenses  when  cold  weather  comes,  and  since  I  could 
not  keep  the  place  long  I  might  as  well  give  it  up  at 
once.  But  I  will  be  obliged  to  part  with  some  things 
that  I  will  regret  even  more  than  the  house.  If  I  only 
rent  two  rooms  I  can  not  keep  all  my  furniture,  and  will 
be  obliged  to  sell  some.  Yes,  I  do  get  very  lonely  at 
times.  I  do  not  understand  my  own  disposition,  for 
while  my  heart  sometimes  yearns  for  companionship,  I 
still  shrink  from  the  society  of  others.  I  never  could 
succeed  in  making  friends  with  many,  as  some  people  do. 
While  I  form  no  dislikes,  I  still  form  very  few  likes." 

"  It  is  only  natural  that  you  should  feel  that  way.  A 
sore  heart  is  not  so  easily  soothed,  and  ordinary  things 
are  so  disappointing  in  their  influence.  But  I  would  not 
encourage  myself  in  being  alone  too  much.  A  little 


THE    COMPARISON.  8  I 

company  will  do  you  good.  I  hope  we  will  be  able  to 
keep  you  with  us.  This  is  such  a  nice  neighborhood  to 
live  in  ;  the  people  are  so  agreeable  and  pleasant." 

"  Yes,  my  near  neighbors  have  shown  me  the  greatest 
kindness  possible.  The  sympathy  and  regard  shown  by 
their  quiet,  respectful  manner,  is  a  kindness  that  I  shall 
never  be  able  to  forget." 

It  is,  after  all,  those  attentions  that  are  too  small  to  bear 
a  name  that  arouse  our  hearts  to  the  greatest  thankful 
ness.  It  is  the  evidence  of  a  deep  regard  ;  a  regard  that 
will  not  allow  its  sacredness  to  be  impaired  by  either 
doubt  or  questioning. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

THE    ARRIVAL. 

MARY  GREY  was  nearer  to  feeling  cheerful  after 
she  had  left  the  home  of  Mrs.  Ferris  than  she  had 
been  since  her  widowhood.  She  had  had  her  interest  in 
life  partially  aroused.  It  was  so  long  since  she  had  met 
any  one  strange  that  she  became  almost  excited  over  the 
prospect  of  having  two  in  her  own  house.  She  wondered 
how  they  would  look  and  what  they  would  be  like. 
Would  they  be  pleasant  ?  and,  what  was  of  still  greater 
importance  to  her,  could  she  succeed  in  making  herself 
agreeable  to  them  ? 

"  My  social  powers  are  sadly  in  need  of  cultivation, 
but  it  is  hard  to  cultivate  something  that  you  are  not  in 
possession  of." 

After  dinner  she  set  herself  about  getting  her  house  in 
readiness,  doing  those  little  things  which  only  a  true 
housewife  can  find  to  do. 

"  I  will  have  just  one  hour  to  rest,"  she  thought,  as  the 
clock  struck  three  ;  "  they  will  not  reach  Cloverdale  until 
four.  I  will  address  my  letter  to  Colonel  Wilkins  and 
walk  down  to  the  office  with  it." 

She  was  adjusting  the  stamp,  preparatory  to  starting, 
when  Mrs.  Jones  walked  up  to  the  open  door. 

"Oh,  I  see  you  are  all  ready  to  go  out.  Well,  I  will 
not  detain  you.  I  did  not  come  to  stay — only  came  over 
for  a  few  moments  to  see  how  you  was  passing  your  time. 
I  see  you  have  been  writing  a  letter.  I  can  save  you  the 
trip  to  the  office,  for  I  am  going  that  way  and  will  drop  it 
for  you." 

"  I  thank  you  for  your  kind  offer,  but  I  have  an  errand 
(82) 


THE    ARRIVAL.  83 

that  will  take  me  down  town.  But  you  need  not  hurry 
away  on  that  account ;  I  need  not  go  for  half  an  hour  or 
more.  I  will  get  my  hat,  and  then  we  can  sit  down  and 
rest  a  while." 

"  Hey !  my  lady,"  thought  Mrs.  Jones,  as  the  door 
closed  after  the  retreating  form,  "  I  will  find  out  who  you 
are  writing  to,  that  you  need  to  be  so  careful.  You  will 
carry  it  to  the  office  yourself,  will  you  ?  but  not  before  I 
have  seen  who  it  is  to,  if  you  only  stay  out  long  enough 
for  me  to  find  it." 

But  instead  of  having  to  search,  the  lad}'  was  surprised 
to  see  it  lying  on  the  writing  desk,  face  upward.  It  was 
an  innocent  enough  looking  letter.  She  hastily  put  on 
her  glasses  and  examined  the  signature. 

"  Colonel  Wilkins  !  "  she  said  aloud,  in  her  astonish 
ment,  her  eyes  dilating  until  they  were  nearly  as  large  as 
the  glasses  in  her  spectacles.  She  hastily  turned  it  over. 
It  was  sealed.  "  How  I  do  wonder  what  is  in  that  letter  ! 
If  I  had  the  time  and  a  boiling  tea-kettle,  I  would  soon 
find  out  what  she  is  writing  to  him  for.  Still  water  runs 
deep.  A  person  never  knows  to  what  extent  the  impu 
dence  and  sly  forwardness  will  carry  such  natures  as  hers. 
A  person  who  does  not  understand  human  nature  as  well 
as  I  do  might  mistake  her  manner  for  modesty,  but  I 
always  did  know  that  it  was  nothing  but  pretense  and 
deceit,  and  she  is  even  worse  than  I  took  her  to  be.  The 
idea  of  her  writing  to  Colonel  Wilkins  !  There  are  not 
enough  men  in  town  for  her  ;  she  must  try  to  draw  some 
from  the  surrounding  country  —  and  her  husband  not 
dead  four  months  yet  !  But  I  suppose  with  a  woman  that 
can't  get  along  without  a  partner,  one  month  is  as  good 
as  a  year.  They  are  afraid  if  they  don"t  set  their  traps 
right  away  some  other  poacher  will  get  all  the  game." 

She   was    still    standing  with   the    letter  in    her  hand, 


84  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

turning  it  over  and  over  and  examining  it  as  if  she 
expected  to  find  something  on  the  envelope  to  disclose 
the  secret  of  its  contents,  when  she  heard  returning  foot 
steps.  She  hurriedly  replaced  the  letter,  thinking  in  her 
guilty  haste,  "  What  if  she  will  know  that  I  had  it !  Oh, 
dear,  where  was  it  laying?  It  was  just  about  here.  If  I 
only  knew  whether  it  was  laying  with  the  stamp  up  or 
down  ! "  She  gave  it  several  nervous  little  pushes,  and 
hastily  sat  down  in  her  chair  by  the  window,  feeling 
anything  but  secure  against  detection. 

Her  unsatisfied  curiosity  was  fast  gaining  the  mastery 
over  her  feeling  of  uneasiness  when  Mary  Grey  reentered 
the  room,  and  she  said  : 

"  I  have  had  time  enough  to  rest  while  you  were  get 
ting  ready,"  and  she  felt  her  courage  rise  at  this  plausible 
assertion,  "  so  we**might  as  well  go." 

If  a  guilty  conscience  was  not  such  a  merciless  accuser 
all  her  doubts  might  at  once  have  fled,  for  the  writer  of 
the  letter,  unlike  any  one  who  had  been  guilty  of  ques 
tionable  conduct,  walked  to  the  desk  and  without  glancing 
at  the  envelopes  and  papers  gave  them  a  shove  with  her 
right  hand,  while  she  stood  facing  her  visitor,  and  said  : 

"  I  would  like  to  have  had  you  sit  a  while,  but,  if  you 
must  go,  I  am  ready." 

"But  might  she  not,  after  all,  have  noticed  that  the 
letter  did  not  lay  exactly  as  she  had  left  it?"  thought 
Mrs.  Jones.  The  nature  that  can  not  conceive  of  a  spirit 
superior  to  its  own  is  a  sore  tormentor,  for  it  looks  upon 
all  mankind  as  so  many  enemies,  who  are  only  \vaiting 
a  favorable  opportunity  to  strike. 

The  thought  of  any  one  caring  to  interfere  with  her 
letters  had  never  entered  Mrs.  Grey's  upright  mind,  and 
it  might  have  lain  face  down  or  on  the  other  end  of  the 
table,  and  if  any  question  had  arisen  it  would  have  been 


THE    ARRIVAL.  85 

a  doubt  of  her  own  memory  and  not  of  the  integrity  of 
her  caller. 

''I  could  have  saved  you  this  trip  to  the. office,"  said 
Mrs.  Jones,  as  they  walked  along,  "  but  you  said  you  had 
another  errand  ;  and  then  people  don't  always  care  for 
others  to  know  who  they  are  writing  to,  especially  when 
it  is  to  a  gentleman."  And  she  watched  her  companion 
closely  to  see  the  effects  of  her  words. 

But  the  little  woman  had  been  wondering  what  success 
her  letter  would  bring  her,  and  hardly  heard  what  the 
other  had  said,  who  considered  her  manner  as  so  much 
additional  evidence  against  her.  "  She  either  don't  care 
at  all  or  else  she  expects  to  deceive  me  by  her  brazen- 
facedness.  But  she  can't  expect  to  hide  such  actions  long. 
It  won't  be  long  until  the  whole  town  will  know  how  she 
is  carrying  on — and  it  will  be  good  enough  for  her,  too. 
If  a  woman  does  not  know  how  to  conduct  herself  prop 
erly,  she  must  expect  to  bear  the  consequences." 

Mary  Grey,  all  unconscious  of  what  was  going  on  in 
the  other's  mind,  walked  quietly  by  her  side  until  they 
came  to  the  office  door,  \vhere  they  separated.  "Come  to 
see  me  again  soon,  Mrs.  Jones,"  she  said,  ''I  shall  be  glad 
to  have  you  call  at  any  time." 

"Hey!  my  pretty  widow,"  thought  that  personage  as 
she  went  her  way,  "  it  is  very  little  that  you  care  for  our 
calls  now :  but  the  time  will  soon  come,  if  I  may  be 
allowed  to  judge,  when  you  would  be  glad  to  have  a  re 
spectable  woman  to  come  to  see  you.  I  am  afraid  that 
you  will  be  obliged  to  drop  that  lofty  air  of  yours.  There 
is  one  thing  certain  :  if  some  of  our  citizens  knew  what 
I  know,  they  would  watch  your  actions  pretty  close,  and 
I  have  no  doubt  that  a  great  many  unbecoming  things 
would  be  seen.  If  she  wanted  to  get  acquainted  with 
Colonel  Wilkins  she  might  have  told  me.  I  could  have 


86  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

managed  it  for  her  so  nicely,  and  without  casting  any  re 
flections  upon  her  womanhood,  for  after  all  I  suppose  a 
woman  has  a  right  to  get  acquainted  with  a  man  if  she 
wants  to,  as  long  as  she  does  not  want  them  all  and  goes 
about  it  in  the  right  way.  Now,  I  gave  her  all  the  chance 
in  the  world  to  tell  me  about  that  letter.  If  she  had  con 
fided  in  me  as  one  woman  should  in  another,  I  would 
have  helped  her  even  now  and  without  saying  a  word  to 
a  soul.  I  believe  she  would  have  told  me,  too,  if  it  had 
been  anything  of  the  right  sort.  It  is  never  a  good  sign 
for  women  to  make  too  free  with  men,  and  it  is  not  the 
exact  thing  to  do,  even  if  they  mean  no  real  harm 
because  it  will  give  men  reason  to  misjudge  them." 

She  did  not  stop  to  think  that  with  those  men  that  are 
ever  ready  to  misinterpret  a  woman's  conduct,  it  is  only 
the  natural  outcome  of  their  own  vile  nature,  and  that 
they  are  ever  reaching  out  for  any  evidence  that  would 
place  all  womankind  on  a  low  plane  with  themselves; 
and  that  they  were  after  all  only  judges  for  time  and  not 
for  eternity. 

Mary  Grey  dropped  her  letter  and  then  hurried  along 
to  the  store  to  make  some  small  purchases.  The  place 
was  filled  with  customers  and  she  had  to  wait  so  long  for 
her  turn  to  be  waited  upon,  that  the  clock  struck  four 
before  she  started  toward  her  home,  which  she  reached 
just  as  a  carriage  drove  up  to  the  gate. 

Mrs.  Ferris  was  the  first  to  alight,  and  then  she  knew 
that  her  guests  had  arrived.  She  hastily  unlocked  the 
parlor  door,  threw  down  her  parcels  and  hat,  and  went  out 
to  meet  them.  She  reached  the  side  of  the  carriage  just 
as  a  powerful  masculine  figure  was  taking  a  slender  girl 
ish  form  into  his  arms  and  carrying  her  through  the  gate 
into  the  yard.  One  glance  was  enough  to  show  that  this 
was  not  a  necessity,  but  from  a  jolly  good  feeling  and 
tender  care. 


THE    ARRIVAL.  87 

"There,  puss,"  he  said,  putting  her  down  on  the  grass, 
"I  have  carried  you  just  half  the  way;  I  am  going  to 
make  you  walk  the  rest." 

"As  if  I  could  not  have  walked  all  the  way.  See, 
sister  Josephine,  Fred  is  just  as  big  a  tease  as  ever.  If  I 
would  let  him  have  his  way  I  would  soon  become  entirely 
helpless." 

"Well,  if  you  two  frolicsome  children  can  assume  your 
dignity  long  enough,"  said  Mrs.  Ferris,  "  I  will  introduce 
you  to  this  lady,  who  has  kindly  consented  to  take  you 
off  my  hands  for  a  short  time.  This  is  my  brother  and 
his  wife,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Alton,  Mrs.  Grey.  This  lady's 
husband  was  our  pastor." 

The}r  each  offered  her  their  hand  with  a  cordial  bow. 
The  words  "was  our  pastor"  and  the  black  garments 
caused  the  two  city  people  to  take  in  the  situation  at  a 
glance,  and  they  thought  "What  a  pity,"  and  she  in  turn 
stood  regarding  the  strangers  earnestly,  thinking  what  a 
contrast. 

The  man  that  stood  before  her  was  six  feet  tall,  broad- 
shouldered,  vigorous  and  youthful,  with  a  genial  face  and 
ruddy  cheeks.  He  had  dark  hair,  which  was  combed  in 
the  most  boyish  fashion ;  blue  eyes  and  a  heavy  mustache 
which  failed  to  conceal  the  smile  which  was  continually 
lurking  in  the  corners  of  his  mouth.  His  face  was  large. 
He  was  an  excellent  picture  of  joyous  and  sturdy  man 
hood.  He  weighed  about  one  hundred  and  eighty  pounds 
and  was  about  thirty-five  years  of  age. 

His  wife,  who  was  standing  by  his  side  and  leaning  on 
his  arm,  more  from  habit  than  for  support,  was  not  above 
medium  height,  slender  to  thinness,  with  a  face  of  the 
most  delicate  chiseling  and  color,  light  hair  and  blue 
eyes — large  soulful  eyes  that  had  a  habit  of  looking  up 
at  her  husband  with  such  utter  confidence  and  trust  that 


88  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

they  reflected  nothing  but  love  and  a  spirit  of  content 
ment.  Here  was  a  picture  of  frail  womanhood  depend 
ing  upon  strong  manhood  for  support. 

While  the  three  were  thus  politely  regarding  each  other, 
Mrs.  Ferris  was  looking  from  one  of  the  women  to  the 
other,  with  the  same  thought:  "What  a  contrast." 
While  her  sister-in-law  was  a  picture  of  such  dainty 
trustful  helplessness,  Mrs.  Grey  was  one  of  such  self-reli 
ance  as  was  good  to  look  upon.  She  was  no  taller  than 
the  other  woman,  but  her  form  was  well  knit  and  per 
fectly  rounded,  with  small  hands  and  feet.  She  had  a 
round  face  with  a  healthy  coloring  that  sorrow  had  failed 
to  dim;  a  broad  forehead;  a  mouth  that  was  small  but 
firm ;  a  rather  large  but  well  formed  nose,  auburn  hair 
and  hazel  eyes. 

After  the  new  acquaintances  had  taken  this  momentary 
mental  survey  of  each  other,  the  hostess  led  the  way  into 
the  cottage,  where  the  two  who  were  to  be  her  temporary 
guests  soon  succeeded  in  making  themselves  at  home. 

Mrs.  Ferris  bustled  about  until  nearly  dark,  hardly 
knowing  upon  which  to  bestow  the  most  attention ;  the 
black-robed  figure  in  whom  she  took  such  an  interest,  or 
her  brother  and  his  delicate  wife. 

"Well,"  she  said  as  she  started  to  go  home,  "I  have 
stayed  with  you  long  enough  for  the  strange  feeling  to 
wear  off,  and  to  give  you  a  chance  to  make  up  and  be 
friends.  Mrs.  Grey  is  not  accustomed  to  having  children 
about,"  she  called  back,  "so  you  two  must  not  become 
incorrigible.  If  they  get  too  noisy  you  can  send  them 
over  to  my  house  a  while  each  day,  long  enough  to  give 
you  time  to  rest ;  but  they  had  better  not  become  too 
boisterous,  because  I  really  would  not  have  time  to  bother 
with  them  when  I  am  so  busy.  You  know  that  trouble 
some  children  and  house-cleaning  are  sworn  enemies  to 


THE    ARRIVAL.  89 

each  other."     With   this  she  bade   them  good-night  and 
left. 

Had  she  been  given  the  power  to  foretell  results  she 
would  rather  have  left  her  house  unpapered  and  unvar 
nished  until  the  day  of  her  death,  than  for  those  two  who 
were  so  near  to  her  by  the  ties  of  nature,  to  be  left  in  the 
house  of  not  only  her  pastor's  widow,  but  her  dear  and 
favorite  friend.  But  she  was  unable  to  foresee  the  play 
and  final  act  of  the  drama  of  which  she  had  just  wit 
nessed  the  opening  scene. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

FRED.    ALTON. 

FRED.  ALTON  was  a  young  man  well  suited  to  the 
life  of  ease  into  which  he  was  born.  Endowed  by 
nature  with  an  extraordinary  degree  of  health  and  manly 
beauty,  added  to  this  was  one  of  the  tenderest  of  hearts, 
which  manifested  itself  in  a  nature  that  was  full  of  hap 
piness  but  withal  a  kind  solicitude  for  the  whole  human 
family.  He  had  had  the  best  educational  advantages  that 
wealth  and  leisure  could  procure.  He  had  always  had  a 
fair  standing  in  his  classes,  but  had  never  made  a  remark 
able  record  for  himself. 

"  You  are  not  the  kind  to  set  the  world  on  fire,"  said 
his  father.  "  I  don't  believe  that  you  \vould  succeed  in 
any  of  the  professions.  I  don't  know  why  such  natures 
were  born  into  this  world,  unless  it  was  to  take  life  easy 
and  exert  their  social  powers ;  and  I  am  afraid  that  I  will 
have  to  take  even  that  back,  for  if  you  hadn't  been  born 
with  those  gifts  well  matured  you  would  not  take  much 
trouble  to  cultivate  even  them." 

"No,  father;  I  can  not  say  that  I  am  tormented  with 
any  particular  desire  to  set  the  world  on  fire,  or  change  it 
in  any  other  way.  It  is  a  good  enough  place  for  me  as  it 
is — in  fact,  the  best  world  that  we  have  any  assurance  of. 
As  for  the  professions,  I  don't  think  they  are  in  need  of 
any  additions  to  the  ranks  of  those  already  enlisted  in 
their  cause.  The  army  of  pettifoggers  has  been  so  ex 
tended  lately  that  there  are  not  only  enough  to  mete  out 
the  decrees  of  justice  in  regulation  order  to  the  public, 
but  quite  a  host  left  over,  who  are  obliged  to  devote  their 
time  to  dietetics  while  waiting  for  some  one  to  get  into 

(90) 


FRED.    ALTON.  91 

such  trouble  as  would  necessitate  a  call  upon  their 
superior  judgment.  And  from  the  number  of  doctors' 
signs  one  is  greeted  with  on  every  hand,  a  person  would 
be  led  to  think  that  one-half  of  the  world  had  turned  out 
with  the  determination  to  impair  the  digestion  of  the 
other  half — not  but  what  many  a  poor  devil  would  be 
glad  to  have  those  clamorous  organs  of  himself  and  fam 
ily  kept  within  reasonable  bounds,  if  it  could  be  done 
without  disastrous  results.  As  for  the  ministry,  I  don't 
think  that  I  would  like  to  be  called  upon  to  decide  to  the 
satisfaction  of  all  my  hearers  as  to  the  exact  destination  of 
their  departed  friends  ;  nor  would  I  like  to  think  that  it 
was  through  my  instrumentality  that  so  many  ill-assorted 
couples  were  legalized  to  live  together  and  fight  it  out. 
No ;  I  would  have  too  much  conscience  to  be  a  minister. 
An  addition  to  the  clergy  now  and  then  might  prove  a 
boon  to  the  stationer  who  supplies  them  with  paper  on 
which  to  write  their  Sunday  morning  sermons.  I  have 
too  much  conscience  to  disgrace  any  of  the  professions. 
Those  who  have  no  natural  ability  in  any  particular  line 
need  not  aspire  to  success,  for  there  are  too  many  who 
are  endowed  with  genius  to  outstrip  them  in  the  race." 

So  at  the  age  of  twenty-five  his  father  had  taken  him 
as  junior  partner,  saying:  "It  takes  more  brains  to 
succeed  in  business  than  in  any  of  the  professions —  but 
what  else  am  I  to  do  with  you?"  So  the  firm  which 
had  so  long  read  "Alton  &  Co."  now  appeared  "Alton 
&  Son."  Xot  that  it  had  made  any  material  difference 
in  the  management  of  the  business  or  the  life  of  the 
young  man  ;  for  he  had  gone  on  being  agreeable  and 
taking  life  easy.  His  good  looks,  together  with  his  amia 
ble  disposition,  and  his  father's  financial  standing,  had 
made  him  quite  a  favorite  in  society.  His  herculean 
strength  and  natural  sunny  temperament  caused  him  to 


92  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

assume  an  air  of  patronage  which  was  quite  acceptable 
to  the  independent  and  self-asserting,  as  well  as  to  the 
timid  and  clinging  maiden  ;  for  many  masks  of  independ 
ence  are  put  on  not  only  to  hide  a  faint  and  shrinking 
heart,  but  as  a  challenge  to  protection  from  those  upon 
whom  providence  has  imposed  the  duty  of  assuming  the 
right. 

Owing  to  the  attraction  of  opposites,  Fred.  Alton  was 
naturally  drawn  to  the  more  effeminate  of  his  acquaint 
ances  ;  and  after  he  had  allowed  his  truant  thoughts  to 
wander  with  a  view  to  matrimony,  they  did  not  soar 
among  the  wealthy  and  intellectual,  but  he  soon  found 
them  centered  in  a  delicate,  blue-eyed  figure  in  his  father's 
counting-room.  This  little  lady  had  a  moderate  degree 
of  intellect  and  originality,  but  not  enough  to  make  of  her 
mind  her  kingdom  ;  but  since  her  duties  did  not  require 
any  superior  intellectual  ability,  she  attended  to  them 
conscientiously;  and  since  she  did  not  have  the  pluck  and 
energy  necessary  to  a  more  ambitious  person  to  arouse 
her  or  ruffle  her  temper,  she  was  a  favorite  among  her 
circle  of  acquaintances.  There  was  not  a  clerk  or  cashier 
about  the  place  but  who  would  have  risked  almost  any 
thing  for  a  look  from  her  eyes. 

For  a  while  after  the  young  man  had  been  taken  as 
partner  into  his  father's  business  he  had  found  the  store, 
or  rather  the  office,  a  very  attractive  place,  and  devoted 
himself  assiduously  to  the  task  of  making  love  to  the  little 
type-writer,  something  to  which  she  did  not  prove  averse. 
The  muscular  form  of  the  son  of  her  employer  was  always 
welcome  to  her  side,  while  he  had  been  made  captive  the 
first  time  that  those  wonderful  orbs  of  hers  were  raised 
to  his  face — those  eyes  which  seemed  to  say,  "  Be  kind  to 
me/'  an  unuttered  entreaty  to  which  the  young  man  at 
once  responded. 


FRKD.    ALTON.  93 

"  A  \voman  with  a  remarkable  depth  of  thought  would 
become  tiresome  to  me.  Such  surely  can  not  fail  to  be 
troublesome.  I  would  rather  have  a  clinging,  womanly 
woman  for  a  wife.  I  could  conceive  of  nothing  more  ex 
hilarating  to  the  senses  than  to  have  such  a  creature  look 
up  to  me  for  support  and  strength.  I  certainly  am  strong 
enough  for  two,"  he  said,  stretching  his  arms  to  their  full 
length  and  viewing  himself  in  the  looking-glass;  "and  the 
man  must  be  a  brute,  indeed,  who  would  not  be  willing 
to  share  even  less  with  such  a  being  as  she  is  to  keep  her 
from  toiling  for  her  own  bread ;  to  think,  act,  and  live  for 
her.  I  would  be  willing  to  work  for  her  all  my  life,  and 
ask  for  no  other  return  than  a  look  from  those  glorious 
eyes." 

So  he  had  taken  matters  into  his  own  hands,  as  was  his 
custom  ;  and  one  evening,  after  she  had  completed  her 
tasks  for  the  day,  he  met  her  at  the  outer  door  and  walked 
with  her  to  her  own  home,  where  he  waited  in  the  parlor 
for  her  to  exchange  her  working  dress  for  a  holiday  attire. 
It  was  plainly  to  be  seen  that  she  belonged  to  the  better 
class  of  toilers.  The  house  in  which  they  "lived  was  large 
and  comfortable  and  was  owned  by  her  father.  They  were 
surrounded  bv  many  of  the  luxuries  of  life,  the  expenses 
of  which,  however,  partly  fell  upon  her  slender  shoulders. 
The  parlor  was  a  familiar  place  to  him — oh,  yes,  he  had 
been  there  many  times  before ;  so  he  sat  about  making 
himself  comfortable  until  she  appeared,  which  was  not 
long.  And  then,  without  asking  the  advice  or  consent  of 
any  one,  they  went  in  quest  of  a  clergyman  ( the  necessary 
origin,  let  it  be  for  weal  or  woe  ),  and  were  married. 

They  found  the  minister  in  his  study.  He  had  received 
a  letter  that  day  asking  him  to  be  there,  as  his  services 
would  possibly  be  required.  He  was  not  long  in  pro 
nouncing  the  words  that  made  those  two  young  people 
supremely  happy. 


94  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

So  instead  of  filling  her  old  place  at  the  desk,  the  happy 
little  woman  was  soon  established  in  one  of  her  father-in- 
law's  handsome  houses  as  mistress.  And  from  this  time 
the  store  saw  as  little  of  the  husband  as  it  did  of  the  wife. 
The  old  merchant  had  remonstrated  at  first  at  his  son's 
lack  of  interest  in  the  business  ;  but  it  was  to  no  avail, 
and  he  was  soon  left  to  spend  his  time,  as  he  always  had 
done,  in  the  way  which  afforded  him  the  most  ease  and 
enjoyment.  This  life  of  self-indulgence  might  have 
proved  disastrous  to  many  a  stronger  nature,  in  which 
power  and  impetuous  impulse  are  so  closely  blended ;  but 
so  far  he  had  steered  his  sturdy  bark  of  life  free  from  the 
shoals  and  breakers  that  were  making  wrecks  of  many 
a  promising  life  about  him,  and  had  sailed  leisurely  and 
serenely  upon  the  placid  waters  of  contentment  and 
domestic  felicity.  Nothing  had  had  the  power  to  lure 
him  from  the  side  of  his  wi'fe  or  the  paths  of  right.  But 
those  dormant  forces  are  sometimes  like  a  slow,  smoul 
dering  fire,  gathering  strength  for  the  conflagration ;  or 
like  a  lowering,  murky  cloud  on  a  sultry  summer  day, 
which  seemed  to  have  gained  irresistible  force  by  having 
been  delayed. 

Up  to  this  time  Fred.  Alton  had  not  been  led  to  compare 
his  wife  with  other  women.  She  had  been  all  that  he 
asked  for.  She  was  loving  and  tender,  with  a  loyal  devo 
tion  that  was  humble  worship.  She  had  no  existence  or 
individuality  aside  from  him. 

This  had  pleased  and  satisfied  him,  and  he  was  happy. 
The  thought  that  he  would  ever  hold  her  up  to  scrutiny 
had  never  entered  his  devoted  head.  But  alas,  that  to 
all  mankind  should  come  the  awakening.  There  is  no 
sky  so  clear  that  it  will  not  admit  the  possibility  of  a 
storm  ;  there  is  no  honor  so  closely  guarded  that  it  could 
not  be  assailed ;  no  soul  so  exalted  that  it  will  not  be 


FKRD.    ALTON.  95 

tried,  and  it  is  not  the  most  important  of  the  trials  of  this 
life  that  are  taken  into  the  courts.  The  hardest  are  those 
which  are  enacted  in  our  solitary  walks,  or  when  we  are 
alone  with  our  thoughts,  let  it  be  in  the  seclusion  of  our 
chambers,  or  in  the  busy  thoroughfare,  with  human  na 
ture  as  our  adversary,  conscience  ever  pleading  for  the 
right,  and  in  which  our  stubborn  hearts  will  ever  be  falli 
ble  judges  unless  we  look  to  a  divine  power  for  guidance. 

After  Mrs.  Ferris  had  gone,  leaving  the  three  together, 
the  young  man  unconsciously  took  up  the  thought  where 
she  had  left  off.  What  a  contrast !  While  his  wife  was 
a  personification  of  ease,  grace  and  beauty,  here  was  a 
pattern  of  humanity  of  such  an  entirely  different  type 
that  she  might  have  belonged  to  a  different  planet ;  and 
he  was  surprised  to  find  her  none  the  less  interesting. 

He  began  by  wondering  how  long  her  husband  had 
been  dead,  and  what  he  had  been  like  ;  how  much  they 
had  been  to  each  other.  Had  he  loved  her  as  he  did  his 
wife?  Was  she  heartbroken  over  his  death,  and  how 
long  would  she  mourn  for  him? 

Xor  did  his  interest  decrease  as  days  went  by ;  but  she 
was  as  a  book  to  him,  the  pages  of  which  had  not  yet 
been  cut.  They  found  her  a  kind  and  pleasant  hostess, 
who  tried  in  a  quiet,  unassuming  way  to  make  their  stay 
with  her  as  happy  as  possible,  and  by  hiding  her  grief 
and  assuming  an  air  of  cheerfulness,  sought  to  add  to 
their  enjoyment. 

She  played  and  sang  for  them.  "  I  must  exercise 
this  means  of  entertaining  you,  or  you  would  find  it  dull 
indeed,"  she  said.  But  the  masculine  eyes  that  were 
watching  her  could  see  (for  men  ever  have  and  ever  will 
pride  themselves  upon  their  insight  of  woman's  nature) 
that  even  though  there  were,  at  times,  songs  upon  her 
lips,  the  sorrow  was  never  absent  Irom  her  heart.  It  was 


96  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

a  strange  revelation  to  him,  that  a  woman  could  hide  her 
grief — shut  it  up  in  her  bosom,  and  act  outwardly  as  if 
she  did  not  know  the  meaning  of  the  word,  simply  for 
the  comfort  of  others.  This  was  a  phase  of  woman's 
nature  that  was  new  to  him.  He  looked  at  his  wife. 
Nothing  had  ever  disturbed  that  little  heart  that  did  not 
reach  to  the  surface  in  her  eyes.  Not  a  cloud  had  ever 
flitted  over  her  horizon  that  was  not  reflected  in  their 
clear  depths.  "  How  would  she  ever  get  along  without 
me  to  cling  to  ?  What  would  she  do  if  I  should  be  taken 
first?  for  she  is  strong  in  nothing  but  her  love  for  me." 

This  thought  filled  his  heart  with  a  warmth  and  tender 
ness,  and  he  clasped  her  to  his  breast,  the  delicate  form 
that  looked  up  to  him  so  trustingly  for  sustenance.  "  My 
delicate  little  blossom.  You  shall  never  languish  for  the 
love  and  care  that  are  the  chief  essentials  to  your  exist 
ence,"  he  thought.  And  she  looked  up  to  him  as  if  she 
understood,  and  was  satisfied. 

The  two  women  were  much  together,  and  as  time  went 
on  became  warm  friends,  while  the  difference  grew  more 
apparent.  While  one  was  the  embodiment  of  a  quiet 
dignity,  strength,  and  self-reliance,  despite  her  tenderness 
and  the  momentary  helplessness  that  came  into  her  eyes, 
the  other  was  too  helpless  to  raise  a  hand  in  the  shaping 
of  her  own  future,  but  was  dependent  entirely  upon 
others  for  her  happiness. 

While  Fred.  Alton's  wife  reminded  him  of  the  most 
tender  of  vines,  with  no  power  with  which  to  support  her 
self,  Mary  Grey  reminded  him  of  a  sturdy  little  shrub, 
with  confidence  enough  in  her  own  strength  to  plant  her 
self  ready  to  uphold  those  clinging  tendrils. 

"  But  it  is  due  to  her  will  more  than  to  any  superior 
muscular  strength.  It  is  remarkable  how  her  bravery 
and  courage  help  her  to  face  the  world  ;  and  I  can  not  see 


FRKD.    ALTON.  97 

that  the  future  holds  much  in  store  for  her.  I  would 
think  fate  rather  cruel  if  it  had  'decreed  that  I  should 
earn  my  own  living.  Then  how  must  it  be  for  a  woman, 
and  one  with  a  proud,  sensitive  nature  like  hers  ?  But 
she  may  marry  again.  It  is  to  be  hoped  that  she  will  not 
drag  out  a  lonely  existence  for  a  man  that  is  dead  and 
gone  to  heaven.  I  believe  that  is  where  ministers  are 
supposed  to  go.  I  wonder  if  he  could  spare  the  time 
from  his  flock  to  love  her  half  well  enough  while  he  was 
here?  I  doubt  it.  They  usually  have  their  minds  so 
fixedly  upon  what  heaven  has  in  store  for  them  that  they 
do  not  stop  to  appreciate  their  earthly  blessings.  In  my 
opinion  the  whole  clique  of  them  should  be  treated  like 
the  priests  ( the  Catholics  are  right  on  that  point,  at  least), 
and  be  denied  the  right  to  have  a  wife,  if  they  don't  know 
how  to  treat  them.  And  I  don't  believe  there  is  one  of 
the  cloth  that  could  do  a  woman  like  her  half  justice. 
There  is  a  depth  to  her  nature  that  would  be  well  worth 
solving.  What  a  pleasant  problem  it  would  be  to  one 
who  was  free  to  take  to  himself  the  task?  And  what  a 
devoted  little  wife  she  would  make  for  some  man  that 
was  worthy  of  her  ?  Not  that  she  would  be  so  lavish 
with  her  affections,  but  one  look  of  love  from  her  would 
mean  much.  I  am  almost  inclined  to  envy  the  man  who 
will,  one  day,  inspire  in  her  breast,  the  love  of  which  she 
is  capable.  Her  love  for  a  man  would  have  a  greater 
depth,  even  though  she  did  not  look  up  to  him  in  such 
an  humble,  helpless  way.  It  would  be  like  two  trees 
that  grow  so  near  together  that  their  branches  interlace, 
and  although  each  has  an  independent  life  their  shadow 
is  cast  as  one.  While  her  lofty  spirit  would  never  look 
up  to  a  husband,  he  would  not  be  the  loser,  for  he  would 
have  no  occasion  to  look  down." 

The   young  man    did  not   reali/e  that  he  was  uncon- 


98  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

sciously  assuming  the  right  to  penetrate,  if  possible,  the 
inner  life  of  the  woman  who  had  been  a  stranger  to  him 
only  a  few  days  before,  so  he  went  on  contrasting  her 
with  his  wife  in  a  way  that  was  not  always  flattering  to 
that  little  woman  ;  but  she,  unconscious  of  it  all,  returned 
caress  for  caress  when  he  went  to  her  in  his  usual  way. 
She  did  not  know  that  the  profusion  of  her  endearments 
would  decrease  their  value  in  her  husband's  eyes,  and 
that  he  even  now  compared  their  effect  to  the  rapture 
that  he  felt  sure  the  love  of  another  would  bring  to  him. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

MARY    GREY    RELATES    HER    STORY. 

MARY  GREY  did  not  know  what  was  going  on  in 
the  mind  of  the  man  she  had  taken  into  her  home. 
She  had  taken  the  couple  as  a  favor  to  her  friend.  She  had 
thought  that  the  most  difficult  part  that  she  was  to  play 
would  be  the  hiding  of  her  sorrow  so  as  to  make  their 
stay  pleasant;  but  she  had  found  them  so  genial  although 
well  bred  and  deferential,  that  she  forgot  herself  in  her 
duty  to  her  guests,  while  in  their  presence.  She  saw  in 
them  two  people  that  were  wholly  devoted  to  each  other. 

"He  certainly  loves  his  beautiful  wife,"  she  thought, 
"  and  it  is  well  that  he  does.  Life  is  empty  enough  to 
me,  but  what  would  it  be  for  her  if  she  did  not  have  her 
husband's  love  to  exist  upon,  for  it  certainly  is  the  very 
mainspring  of  her  life  ?  Oh,  if  I  can  only  hold  out  while 
they  are  here !  Every  soul  has  trouble  enough  of  its  own, 
without  having  those  of  others  intruded  upon  them.  Oh, 
if  I  could  only  creep  away  to  the  silent  church-yard  and 
lay  myself  by  his  side — or,  better  still,  die  and  be 
buried  there  !  Oh,  how  can  it  be  sinful  to  long  for  heaven 
and  those  wrho  have  preceded  you  there,  when  they  are 
all  that  you  had  on  earth  to  love?  There  are  few  dis 
solutions  of  soul  and  body  caused  by  broken  hearts,  but 
the  living  deaths  are  countless — deaths  that  must  some 
times  be  carried  through  a  long  and  weary  life ! 

"  But  he  would  have  me  be  brave.  His  God  and  my 
God  will  take  me  to  Himself  and  to  him  in  his  own  good 
time."  And  she  resolved  to  carry  out  her  life,  might  it 
be  long  or  short,  in  a  way  that  would  meet  with  her  hus 
band's  fullest  approbation. 

(99) 


IOO  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

But  the  lone  woman  had  this  battle  to  fight  over  and 
over  again.  Not  that  she  swerved  from  her  purpose,  nor 
that  she  was  losing  hold  on  her  religious  faith.  But  we 
must,  after  all,  deal  with  our  frail  earthly  beings  and  our 
earthly  environments.  Our  spirits  may  soar  above  them 
at  times.  The  promises  that  are  held  out  in  the  Bible  to 
the  finally  faithful,  and  the  assurance  in  our  own  hearts 
that  we  are  heirs  to  those  promises,  may  carry  our  souls 
on  the  wings  of  peace.  Then  comes  the  reaction,  and 
with  a  dull  consciousness  of  pain  we  are  brought  back  to 
earth,  with  all  its  cares,  needs,  and  responsibilities,  and 
we  realize  that  though  our  eyes  may  be  fixed  ever  so 
firmly  upon  heaven,  that  we  have  requirements  while  here 
which  can  not  be  neglected  and  sorrows  that  refuse  to  be 
soothed.  And  even  though  we  recognize  through  it  all 
the  hand  of  God  drawing  us  nearer  to  Himself,  there  are 
times  when  we  are  bordering  upon  despair  and  the  adver 
sary  of  our  souls  would  fain  say,  "There  is  no  God,  for  if 
there Avas  one  He  would  never  treat  you  thus." 

Although  Mary  Grey  was  above  some  of  the  petty  fail 
ings  of  life,  she  was  not  an  exalted  being,  and  would  have 
expressed  herself  as  very  w7eak  indeed.  We  are,  after  all, 
the  best  witness  to  our  own  weakness.  The  thought  of 
her  heart  quaking,  instead  of  being  proud  and  haughty, 
never  entered  the  minds  of  the  people  of  Cloverdale.  But 
such  she  was.  There  was  one  who  had  discerned  her 
secret,  and  that  was  the  man  beneath  her  roof. 

She  went  about  her  duties  the  same  as  before  their 
arrival.  She  taught  her  pupils,  attended  to  her  house 
hold  duties,  and  gave  such  of  her  society  to  her  guests  as 
she  thought  would  add  to  their  enjoyment. 

"  I  know  they  would  rather  be  alone  wrhen  together, 
sometimes.  That  is  only  natural  for  two  people  who  love 
each  other."  But  when  the  husband  would  leave  his  wife 


MARY  GRKY  RELATES  HER  STORY.        IOI 

for  a  time,  the  two  women  would  sit  together  and  talk 
and  read  as  pleased  them  best. 

"  I  will  not  go  out,  either  to  walk  or  drive,  until  we  go 
up  to  Mr.  Alton's  sister's.  I  will  reserve  my  strength,  or 
I  would  not  be  able  to  meet  the  people  that  \vill  be  sure 
to  call  on  hie,"  said  Mrs.  Alton  to  her  hostess  on  Sunday 
morning,  when  she  had  asked  if  she  and  her  husband 
would  accompany  her  to  morning  services. 

"  It  is  not  far,  and  the  walk  might  do  you  good. 
Nothing  revives  me  so  much  when  I  am  tired  and  de 
pressed." 

"I  am  neither  tired  nor  depressed,"  said  the  other,  "but 
I  simply  have  not  the  strength.  I  wish  I  had  your  strength 
or  will-power,  or  whatever  it  is  that  you  have  that  I  have 
not.  I  envy  you.  I  am  surprised  to  hear  you  talk  of 
weariness  or  depression.  I  would  never  have  guessed  it. 
Do  you  know  it  makes  me  ashamed  of  myself  every  time 
I  look  at  you,  and  makes  me  think  that  my  weakness 
may,  after  all,  be  due  to  a  lack  of  energy.  But  I  have 
been  so  happy  since  I  am  married.  My  husband  has 
spoiled  me.  He  is  so  strong,  and  persists  in  taking  care 
of  me  as  if  I  were  a  helpless  child.  I  tell  him  that  he 
does  that  to  keep  his  strength  from  running  riot ;  but  I 
am  such  an  indolent  creature  that  I  do  not  care  to  have  it 
otherwise.  Oh,  no,"  laughed  the  happy  little  woman,  "  I 
am  more  than  satisfied  as  it  is." 

She  received  no  answer,  and  not  noticing  the  tears  that 
were  welling  up  in  the  eyes  of  her  companion,  she  went 
on  : 

"  Do  you  know,  I  am  so  well  satisfied  with  my  hus 
band's  company  that  I  could  almost  dispense  with  all 
others.  It  seems  that  if  all  well-assorted  people  could  be 
left  to  themselves  to  enjoy  each  other's  society,  we  would 
be  a  much  happier  people.  Among  the  many  burden- 


102  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

some  things  that  the  so-called  social  world  has  decreed, 
the  one  that  is  most  tiresome  to  me  is  the  making  of 
formal  calls.  Which  do  you  find  the  most  burdensome, 
Mrs.  Grey?" 

"  My  experience  of  fashionable  city  life  is  limited,  but 
the  word  formal  always  suggests  something  hollow  or 
unreal  to  me.  It  has  never  been  my  good  fortune  to 
make  acquaintances  or  friends  readily,  and  I  am  afraid 
pretences  would  be  anything  but  becoming  to  me.  My 
social  powers  would  be  sadly  deficient  if  I  should  try  to 
extend  them  beyond  a  very  few7  friends.  You  spoke  of 
indolence.  I  lay  claim  to  a  full  share  of  that  quality,  or 
lack  of  quality,  and  you  will  not  wonder  when  I  tell  you 
that  I  do  not  even  care  to  exert  myself  to  be  agreeable. 
Not  that  I  lack  in  kindly  interest  or  but  what  I  try  to  avoid 
being  disagreeable,  but  I  am  too  indifferent  to  act  in  a 
way  that  would  help  me  to  form  lasting  acquaintances. 
L,ife  has  been  too  real,  too  earnest,  to  act  anything  but 
my  own  natural  part,  and  the  question  to  me  is,  do  such 
things,  after  all,  add  to  our  happiness?  Has  the  power 
been  given  to  any  of  us  to  be  so  lavish  and  far-reaching 
with  our  attentions  and  friendship  with  any  degree  of 
genuineness?  Since  it  has  been  denied  to  me,  I  find  it 
not  only  more  satisfying  to  my  conscience,  but  equally 
more  in  accordance  with  my  idle  tastes,  to  reserve  my 
civilities  for  the  few  that  might  possibly  be  benefitted  or 
made  happier  by  them,  even  if  in  so  doing  I  must  neces 
sarily  deny  myself  a  wider  circle  of  acquaintances." 

"  It  certainly  could  not  fail  to  be  a  happier,  world  if  we 
were  all  more  considerate  of  the  feelings  of  those  with 
whom  we  are  closely  associated,  but  too  many  sacrifice 
even  the  happiness  of  those  who  love  them  to  widen  .their 
social  influence.  Too  many  people  who  are  not  even  en 
dowed  with  the  power,  or  do  not  care  to  make  their  own 


MARY  GREY  RELATES  HER  STORY.        103 

families  happy,  carry  their  influence  into  a  wider  circle, 
where  their  sincerity  will  not  be  questioned.  In  so-called 
society  people  do  not  even  ask  for,  much  less  expect,  sin 
cerity,  and  if  you  have  never  been  called  upon  to  take  part 
in  the  formalities  that  are  robbing  so  many  homes  of  their 
sacredness  by  denying  the  heart  all  that  makes  life  worth 
living — out-spoken,  heart-felt  sympathy  and  love — you 
have  been  far  more  fortunate  than  you  know.  The  dic 
tates  of  fashion  have  so  frowned  upon  the  manifestation 
of  any  inward  feeling  that  would  suggest  the  presence  of 
a  heart,  that  it  could  not  fail  to  make  life  an  empty  farce. 
I  tell  my  husband  that  we  can  never  become  truly  fash 
ionable,  because  I  can  never  quite  succeed  in  hiding  my 
love  for  him  ;  and  since  you  have  been  shut  up  in  a  little 
world  of  your  own,  and  have  been  too  indifferent  (as  you 
express  it)  to  explore  its  wider  areas,  I  will  let  you  into  a 
few  of  its  secrets.  So-called  society  will  bring  content 
ment,  much  less  happiness,  to  none,  and  it  is  only  aston 
ishing  to  see  how  many  are  keeping  up  the  farce.  People 
with  the  bitterest  enmity  in  their  hearts  will  smile  and 
fawn  upon  each  other  when  they  meet,  or,  what  is  still 
worse,  will  seek  each  other  out — only,  the  next  moment,  if 
an  opportunity  presents  itself,  to  strike  them  a  blow  from 
which  they  or  their  good  name  may  never  recover,  or  at 
best  drop  their  mask  of  smiles  with  their  farewell  courtesy 
and  clinch  their  fists  and  stamp  their  feet  if  the  lady  upon 
whom  they  have  called  seems  to  be  trore  fortunate  in  the 
possession  of  this  world's  goods  ;  but  at  their  next  meet 
ing  the  mask  is  again  in  its  place." 

"  I  am  afraid,"  said  Mary  Grey,  "  that  I  would  be  a  sad 
failure  in  this  world  of  etiquette,  for  my  training  has  been 
contrary  to  its  requirements.  My  parents  taught  me  to 
abhor  the  shams  of  life,  and  I  am  afraid  that  I  have  done 
such  credit  to  their  teachings  that  I  do  not  even  possess 


104  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

the  charity  that  I  should  for  the  failings  of  others,  and  I 
fear  that  is  even  a  greater  fault,  for  so  long  as  we  have 
shortcomings  of  our  own  we  should  make  ample  allow 
ance  for  those  of  others.  Circumstances  also  have  much 
to  do  with  the  forming  of  our  characters.  I  have  always 
been  too  busy  with  the  serious  problems  of  life  to  pay 
much  attention  to  non-essentials.  After  being  surrounded 
by  the  strictest  home  discipline  until  I  was  sixteen,  my 
parents  died.  Luckily,  they  left  me  sufficient  means  to 
take  such  training  in  music  as  enabled  me  to  earn  my 
living  in  that  way,  even  if  the  fashionable  world  would 
be  too  busy  to  receive  their  attentions.  I  taught  music 
until  I  was  married,  and  then,  although  my  husband 
would  no  longer  allow  me  to  give  lessons,  I  was  still 
leader  of  the  choir,  and  gave  the  young  people  all  the 
assistance  I  could  in  the  improvement  of  their  voices. 
And  then  there  were  so  many  ways  in  which  I  could  be 
of  assistance  to  my  husband  that  the  three  years  of  my 
married  life  were  really  the  busiest  of  all.  I  tell  you 
this  that  you  may  know  that  life  to  me  has  been  no  idle 
dream,  but  an  earnest  reality.  The  time  that  my  husband 
and  myself  could  spare  from  our  labors  and  duties  we 
devoted  to  each  other — but  if  he  had  only  been  spared  to 
me,  I  would  willingly  sacrifice  every  moment  of  my  life 
for  the  good  of  others  !  He  was  so  grandly  good  and 
noble,  and  we  wtre  so  happy  !  " 

This  was  the  first  time  that  Mary  Grey  had  mentioned 
her  married  life  or  her  husband  to  her  guest.  It  was  a 
revelation  to  her.  Could  this  quiet,  submissive  creature 
be  suffering  so  intensely  ?  Her  loving  little  heart  went 
out  to  her  hostess  with  a  bound,  and  before  that  lady 
had  completed  her  pathetic  story  her  arms  were  tightly 
clasped  about  her  neck.  She  drew  her  sorrowing  head 
into  her  lap,  and  sat  caressingly  stroking  her  brown  hair. 


MARY  GREY  RELATES  HER  STORY.        105 

"  Oh.  why  sliould  human  hands  be  so  powerless  in  the 
alleviation  ot  pain  and  suffering?  What  would  I  not 
give  at  this  moment  for  the  power  to  sooth  you?  Hut  I 
know  that  if  I  were  in  your  place  words  would  only  be  a 
mockery.  But  believe  me,  my  heart  is  bleeding  for  you," 
she  said,  tenderly. 

"  Mrs.  Grey,  you  are  a  better  Christian  than  I  am. 
Promise  to  help  me  pray  daily  that  God  may  spare  me 
the  pain  of  such  an  ordeal.  Help  me  to  pray  that  I  may 
be  taken  first.  Think  what  I  would  be  were  I  in  your 
place.  I  would  never  be  able  to  bear  up  as  you  do." 

By  this  time  the  blue  eyes  had  a  look  in  them  that 
could  only  be  more  despairing  were  her  husband  really 
to  be  taken  from  her,  and  it  would  have  been  hard  to  tell 
which  was  shedding  the  most  tears,  they  or  the  brown 
ones. 

Fred.  Alton  found  them  crying  in  each  other's  arms 
when  he  opened  the  door  from  an  adjoining  room.  He 
had  overheard  their  talk  from  the  very  beginning.  At 
first  he  listened  with  indifference.  He  heard  his  wife 
speak  of  her  weakness.  That  was  a  familiar  subject  to 
him,  but  for  the  first  time  it  fretted  him  just  a  little  to 
hear  her  refer  to  it,  and  he  thought,  "  What  would  I  not 
give  at  this  moment  to  have  you  strong,  more  like  some 
one  else."  Then  he  heard  her  speak  of  her  affection  for 
him.  "Another  familiar  subject,"  he  thought;  but  at  this 
his  heart  went  out  to  her  in  answering  love.  "Dear  little 
heart,"  he  said  to  himself,  "the  man  would  be  a  hound 
indeed  who  would  wilfully  cause  you  one  pain."  Then 
came  her  views  upon  society.  He  never  had  heard  her 
express  herself  so  strongly  upon  any  subject,  and  he 
wondered.  "  I  would  never  ask  for  her  oath  to  convince 
me  that  she  enjoyed  my  society  more  than  any  one's  else." 
Then  he  heard  Mary  Grey  answer,  and  in  doing  so  give 
7 


106  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

some  of  her  views  of  life.  He  felt  his  interest  aroused. 
This  was  what  he  had  been  wishing  for :  an  opportunity 
to  find  out  something  about  her  nature,  and  here  he  could 
judge  from  her  own  words.  She  expressed  herself  in 
such  a  simple,  straightforward  way  that  his  admiration 
increased  with  his  wonder.  "The  fact  that  the  so-called 
world  has  had  little  to  do  with  the  formation  of  your 
character  is  your  chief  attraction,"  he  thought.  "  Xo  ; 
pretenses  would  not  be  very  becoming  to  you.  Poor  little 
woman  ;  a  person  seldom  finds  such  modesty  combined 
with  courage  and  bravery  like  hers.  If  that  minister  had 
known  what  he  would  miss  in  this  world  by.  leaving  it,  he 
would  have  been  sorry  to  go,  even  if  it  were  to  a  better 
place,  and  wrould  have  prayed  for  permission  to  stay,  if 
for  no  other  reason  than  to  keep  some  one  else  from  step 
ping  into  his  shoes — a  thing  some  fellow  is  bound  to  do." 

Then  he  heard  more  in  his  wife's  voice.  "  No  need  of 
your  distressing  yourself  upon  that  subject,  my  little  pet; 
you  certainly  have  never  been  slack  in  your  duty  to  me,  and 
always  showed  your  attachment  at  the  risk  of  ridicule." 

He  smiled  good-humoredly  when  she  offered  to  let  the 
other  into  the  secrets  of  her  life.  "  I  will  bet  that  new  cigar 
case  of  mine  that  Mary  Grey  has  more  practical  knowledge 
of  life  now  than  that  little  wife  of  mine  has  or  ever  will 
have."  But  he  was  still  more  surprised  as  she  went  on. 
"  So  you  think  all  other  society  but  that  of  your  husband 
is  composed  of  deceit?  Well,  it  is  to  be  hoped  that  will 
never  play  a  part  in  his  attentions  to  you." 

Then  came  the  story  of  Mary  Grey's  early  life,  and  he 
drank  in  every  word  eagerly.  "  Not  a  very  easy  life  ;  and 
just  as  I  thought,  that  devout  Christian  did  not  lessen  her 
burdens,  but  only  added  to  them.  I  can  see  that  plain 
enough,  even  if  she  does  imagine  that  he  made  her  happy." 

"  So  my  wife  has  turned  comforter,"  he  thought,  when 


MARY  GREY  RELATES  HER  STORY.         107 

he  heard  her  kind  Yoice.  "  Well,  she  is  not  so  bad  at  it, 
after  all."  But  soon  a  broad  smile  spread  over  his  face, 
when  he  heard  her  appeal  to  the  woman  in  trouble  to  help 
her  pray  that  she  might  never  have  a  similar  trial.  Had 
it  not  been  that  his  own  heart  was  touched,  he  would  have 
laughed  outright ;  but  instead,  he  walked  in  and  feigned 
a  polite  degree  of  surprise. 

Mary  Grey  drew  herself  gently  from  the  arms  of  her 
friend,  and  with  a  whispered  "  Thank  you  "  and  a  grateful 
look  in  her  eyes  she  left  the  room,  and  was  soon  on  her 
way  to  church,  and,  as  the  woman  had  expressed  it,  to 
sing  like  a  nightingale. 

After  the  door  had  closed  upon  her  retreating  form,  the 
young  man  drew  his  tearful  wife  tenderly  to  his  side  and 
teasingly  said :  "So  the  little  woman  turned  consoler? 
But  a  sorry  one  she  would  make,  as  long  as  she  tries  to 
cheer  the  hearts  of  others  by  drawing  their  minds  to  the 
possibility  of  a  similar  catastrophe  in  her  own  life.  What 
a  great  philosopher  she  is,  after  all !  " 

"  Fred.  Alton,  how  dared  you  listen  to  a  story  that  was 
not  intended  for  your  ears  ?  You  know  very  well  that 
she  never  would  have  told  the  story  she  did  had  she 
known  that  you  were  listening.  I  would  be  ashamed,  if 
I  were  you  I  " 

"  Yes,  but  I  have  heard  two  stories,  and  since  I  figured 
somewhat  in  the  one,  I  think  1  had  a  right  to  hear  it — 
even  if  it  was  not  such  a  great  revelation  to  me." 

"  But  if  you  go  on  eavesdropping  and  persist  in  teasing 
me,  I  may  feel  called  upon  to  take  some  of  it  back.  The 
fact  that  a  woman  loves  a  man  when  she  thinks  him  all 
that  she  would  have  him  to  be,  is  no  assurance,  you  know, 
that  she  can  not  change  when  she  discovers  him  to  be 
otherwise." 

"  So  I  will  have  to  be  on  my  good  behavior  or  1  will 


108  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

forfeit  the  good  opinion  of  my  little  wife  !  I  did  not 
know  she  was  so  exacting.  But  that  was  not  such  a  bad 
conversation  to  hear.  It  proved  to  me  that  one  little 
woman  has  a  tender  heart.  As  if  I  needed  any  such 
proof!"  he  went  on,  caressingly.  "But  if  you  promise 
me  a  lofty  and  lasting  place  in  your  esteem,  I  in  turn  will 
promise  to  do  better  in  future.  But  do  not  tell  Mrs.  Grey 
that  I  heard  her.  It  really  was  not  very  manly,  and  she 
would  not  be  pleased;  she  is  so  reserved,  and  is  not  one 
to  hold  up  her  life  before  the  eyes  of  others,  neither  to 
win  sympathy  nor  for  any  other  cause.  But  it  is  needless 
to  mention  this ;  my  little  wife's  judgment  is  not  amiss 
respecting  the  feelings  of  others,  and  she  has  never  yet 
betrayed  any  of  her  husband's  bad  traits." 

"  The  reason  she  has  not  made  known  your  faults  is 
because  she  has  not  discovered  them  —or  not  until  today, 
at  least ;  but  you  had  better  be  careful  how  you  reveal 
them  to  her,  or  she  might  prove  to  be  a  mor*  effective 
traitor  than  consoler,"  and  she  looked  up  at  him  archly. 

"  The  idea  of  my  little  pet  turning  traitress  against  her 
husband  !  "  and  he  laughed  heartily. 

So  they  talked  on,  like  two  happy  children,  while  their 
hostess  was  wending  her  way  slowly  toward  the  place  of 
worship. 


CHAPTER  X. 

SHOULD  SI-IK   HE  ALLOWKD  TO  REMAIN  IN  CHURCH. 

MARY  GREY  delayed  her  footsteps  so  that  the  cool 
morning  air  might  soothe  her  swollen  eyes,  and 
that  she  might  be  enabled  to  quiet  her  emotions.  "  I 
should  not  have  given  way  this  morning,"  she  thought. 
"  I  don't  know  how  I  will  be  able  to  sing,  but  I  could  not 
help  it  and  it  would  have  been  all  the  same  had  I  ruined 
my  voice.  Their  happiness  keeps  the  memory  of  my 
own  married  life  constantly  before  me.  Yes,  I  will  join 
my  prayers  to  her's  that  she  may  never  be  left  a  widow 
as  I  am,  with  her  heart  shorn  of  its  love  and  its  life." 

By  this  time  she  had  reached  the  church,  and  without 
noticing  the  eyes  that  were  turned  upon  her  she  took  her 
place  in  the  choir,  and  soon  her  voice  had  helped  to  fill 
the  little  chapel  with  sacred  music. 

Like  the  notes  of  the  bird  that  thrill  so  sweetly  while 
the  little  songster  is  mourning  for  its  mate,  so  the  music 
made  by  human  lips  is  not  always  a  token  of  a  light  and 
care-free  heart,  but  song  sometimes  seems  as  if  it  took 
the  weight  from  our  hearts  and  carried  it  away  on  its 
notes,  and  left  hope  and  comfort  in  its  stead. 

So  by  the  time  that  the  services  were  concluded  the 
feeling  of  sorrow  and  weariness  had  given  place  in  her 
heart  to  one  of  peace  and  rest.  vShe  did  not  stop  to  talk 
to  any  one,  but  walked  quickly  down  the  aisle  and  out 
into  the  open  sunshine.  A  spirit  of  gladness  and  thank 
fulness  came  over  her  that  flooded  her  whole  being  with 
its  light.  Youthful  life  was  after  all  in  itself  a  pleasure. 
There  was  much  to  be  thankful  for,  and  was  it  not  after 
all  a  part  of  her  duty  to  her  God,  not  only  to  bear  sub- 

(.109) 


110  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

missively  the  bereavement  that  He  had  seen  fit  to  send 
upon  her,  but  also  to  enjoy  life  and  the  many  blessings 
that  she  received  from  His  hand  ? 

She  thought  about  her  guests  as  she  hurried  home. 
"  I  am  so  glad  that  they  are  happy ;  I  am  so  glad  that 
there  is  much  happiness  in  the  world  after  all.  I  must 
not  shut  myself  up  because  I  have  no  joys  of  my  own, 
but  must  take  comfort  from  those  of  others.  But  oh," 
and  all  the  sad  memories  came  rushing  back,  "  if  only  my 
husband  had  been  allowed  to  stay  with  me  !  what  would  I 
not  have  been  willing  to  bear  ?  I  am  so  helpless  and  so 
cheerless  alone.  O  death,  thou  art  so  hard,  so  cruel  and 
relentless  ! " 

She  did  not  know  that  there  is  a  bereavement  even 
worse  than  death ;  when  the  affections  reach  out  with  all 
their  strength  and  power  and  no  longer  excite  an  answer 
ing  throb ;  when  the  love  of  that  one  who  has  sworn 
allegiance  has  grown  cold  or  gone  out  to  another,  and  the 
heart  is  allowed  to  famish  although  surrounded  by  those 
who  should  furnish  its  sustenance.  And  how  many  there 
are  who  might  well  cry  out,  "Oh,  the  extreme  nothing 
ness  of  nothing!"  for  there  are  thousands  who  are  born 
a  loveless  birth,  live  a  loveless  life,  and  die  a  loveless 
death,  who  have  never  had  a  kindness  or  attention  shown 
them  from  the  cradle  to  the  grave,  only  such  as  are  actu 
ated  by  a  sense  of  duty  or  of  gain.  What  is  a  barren 
waste  or  the  desert  of  Sahara  compared  to  such  a  life  ? 

Had  Mary  Grey's  mind  been  such  as  would  have  made 
it  possible  for  one  thought  to  enter  that  she  might  be  the 
cause  of  one  strong  man  to  fight  the  battle  of  right  and 
wrong;  that  she  might  arouse  in  him  a  feeling  the  depth 
of  which  had  never  yet  been  fathomed  by  his  beautiful, 
trusting  wife,  she  would  have  fled  to  the  ends  of  the  earth 
rather  than  to  remain  and  permit  it.  But,  alas,  we  are 


SHOULD  SHE  BE  ALLOWED  TO  REMAIN  IN  CHURCH.     I  I  I 

none  given  the  power  to  penetrate  the  future,  and  she  went 
back  to  the  man  who  was  a  creature  of  boyish  impulse, 
and  had  never  known  the  denial  of  a  wish.  Had  she 
known  that  he  had  overheard  their  conversation,  her  own 
high  sense  of  honor,  together  with  her  innate  reserve, 
might  have  caused  her  to  avoid  him,  but  unconscious 
of  the  fact  she  joined  them  at  once,  and  he  had  an  oppor 
tunity  to  keep  up  the  study  which  was  becoming  more 
and  more  agreeable. 

"  What  a  remarkable  woman  she  is,"  he  thought ;  "  I 
know  that  she  sang  this  morning,  and  it  would  have 
taken  most  women  with  a  lesser  grief  longer  than  that  to 
quiet  their  sobs  and  dry  their  tears." 

The  most  of  the  congregation  followed  Mrs.  Grey's  ex 
ample  by  filing  quietly  out  and  starting  for  their  homes, 
but  there  were  three  who  seemed  to  have  something  on 
their  minds  and  appeared  to  be  waiting  for  each  other. 
I  will  have  to  take  my  readers  back  over  the  events  of 
the  preceding  chapter  to  explain  the  cause  of  their  per 
turbation. 

The  next  morning  after  the  strangers  had  arrived  at 
the  home  of  Mrs.  Grey,  Mrs.  Jones  had  called  upon  Mrs. 
Dixon  in  great  excitement,  and  when  invited  to  be  seated 
exclaimed  : 

"Oh,  no!  I  have  not  a  minute  to  spare;  but  my  mind 
is  so  disturbed  that  I  thought  I  would  just  have  to  run 
over!  I  can't  think  of  anything  else!  What  is  this 
world  coming  to,  when  a  widow,  and  a  minister's  widow 
at  that — one  whose  husband  is  hardly  cold  in  his  grave, 
and  whose  tracks  could  still  be  found  in  the  door-yard — 
acts  like  she  does?  I  say  it  is  a  disgrace  to  the  town,  to 
society,  and  to  the  church  !  " 

"  Well,  how  will  I  know  what  to  think  unless  you  tell 
me  what  you  mean?  What  has  the  broken-hearted  widow 


I  1 2  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

been  guilty  of  now  ?  I  would  not  be  surprised  if  she  had 
taken  her  pick  and  choice  of  all  the  good-looking  men  in 
town  and  made  good  her  escape  with  him." 

"  Oh,  no;  no  such  good  news  as  her  making  her  escape ! 
She  will  be  the  cause  of  a  big  scandal  before  she  leaves 
us.  There  is  a  strange  man  hanging  around  her  house 
now !  My  husband  saw  him  last  night  as  he  was  passing. 
He  said  he  saw  him  come  out  of  the  door  as  unconcerned 
as  you  please.  He  looked  around,  and  went  in  again 
before  his  very  eyes ;  and  as  much  as  he  could  see  in  the 
dark,  he  was  a  large,  nice-looking  man.  And  he  had  no 
sooner  gone  back  into  the  house  than  my  lady  was  sing 
ing  to  him  ! " 

"  I  will  warrant  that  he  would  have  to  be  nice-looking; 
she  would  have  no  other  kind,"  said  Mrs.  Dixon.  "And 
as  for  her  singing,  I  always  did  think  that  her  voice  was 
a  power  from  the  evil  one  ;  but  to  think  that  she  would 
use  it  one  day  to  lure  men  into  her  web,  and  then  the 
next  day  have  the  audacity  to  sing  in  our  choir !  " 

"  Well,  that  is  exactly  what  I  was  thinking  about.  I 
was  so  worried  about  it  that  I  could  not  think  to  stop  to 
do  any  of  my  morning's  work,  but  came  right  over.  I 
think  it  is  our  duty  as  members  of  the  church  to  notify 
the  official  board  and  have  some  strenuous  measures 
taken  at  once.  One  such  a  woman  is  enough  to  pollute 
a  whole  congregation,  and  we  can  not  afford  to  risk  our 
daughters  to  her  influence.  Here  comes  Sarah  Green— 
don't  say  a  word,  and  we  will  see  if  she  has  heard  the 
news ;  but  trust  her  to  know  everything  that  is  going." 

"  Good  morning,"  said  that  young  lady  ;  "  what  a  lovely 
morning !  What  a  pity  it  is  to  have  so  much  sin  going 
on  in  our  midst  on  such  a  day  as  this.  Can  it  be  pos 
sible  that  you  have  not  heard  the  shameful  news?" 
she  went  on,  as  the  two  wary  matrons  persisted  in  clis- 


SHOULD  SHE  BK  ALLOWED  TO  REMAIN  IX  CHURCH.     113 

cussing  their  last  canning  experience.  "  There  was  a  man 
at  Mrs.  Grey's  last  night.  He  stayed  there  until  after 
eleven  o'clock,  and  must  have  been  there  all  night,  for 
no  one  saw  him  come  away.  If  no  one  else  investigates 
this  matter,  I  will  take  it  into  my  own  hands.  I  will  see 
if  she  sings  in  the  choir,  holds  up  her  head  above  respect 
able,  virtuous  people,  and  harbors  men  in  the  dead  of 
night  at  the  same  time  !  I  think  that  when  there  is  such 
proof  of  guilt,  it  is  high  time  for  the  church  to  rid  itself 
of  such  a  character  !  " 

"  Oh,  yes,  Miss  Green,  we  know7  there  was  a  man  at  the 
bewitching  widow's  house  last  night,"  said  Mrs.  Dixon,  in 
her  old  provoking  way  ;  "  but  he  was  such  a  nice-looking 
one,  large  and  handsome,  such  a  one  as  even  you  would 
hardly  be  proof  against,  and  really,  we  should  consider 
all  the  facts  in  the  case  before  we  pass  sentence." 

"  I  don't  know  what  the  man's  looks  has  to  do  with  the 
woman's  shameful  conduct !  "  exclaimed  Miss  Green,  in 
dignantly.  "  If  I  was  not  so  accustomed  to  your  insults 
I  would  never  come  near  you.  If  you  persist  in  defend 
ing  a  character  of  that  sort,  it  is  nothing  to  me  ;  but  I 
know  that  I  never  could  be  induced  to  attend  services  in 
the  same  house  with  her,  and  if  she  is  allowed  to  continue 
going  there  I  shall  stop  at  once." 

"  We  agree  with  you,"  said  Mrs.  Dixon  ;  "  her  conduct 
must  he  looked  into,  but  as  a  kindness  to  you  we  married 
ladies  will  take  it  upon  ourselves.  People  might  say  that 
you  was  jealous  if  they  were  to  hear  you  say  anything 
about  widows  and  their  beaux.  Mrs.  Jones  and  I  will 
ferret  this  thing  out,  and  if  the  widow  can  be  gotten  rid 
of,  away  she  goes — and  it  would  be  to  the  satisfaction,  no 
doubt,  of  every  g'irl  or  single  woman  in  town." 

"  Yes,"  said  Mrs.  Jones,  "  it  is  our  duty  to  society  and 
to  the  church  to  help  keep  them  free  from  all  demorali/- 


114  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

ing  influences ;  but  we  had  better  not  take  any  decided 
step  until  after  next  Sabbath.  We  had  better  wait  and 
see  how  she  conducts  herself,  or  if  she  comes  to  services 
at  all,  and  that  will  give  us  a  chance  to  watch  her  house 
the  next  four  days.  Since  Miss  Green  has  acquaintances 
in  the  neighborhood,  she  might  be  excellent  help  to  us. 
She  can  manage  to  get  herself  invited  to  spend  a  night 
at  their  house,  and  then  watch  the  doors  and  windows  of 
the  whilom  widow  Grey.  She  will  be  apt  to  be  pretty 
cautious,  and  may  take  close  watching.  Your  friends 
need  not  know  that  you  went  to  watch  any  one,"  she 
said,  turning  to  Miss  Green. 

"  I  can't  see  what  more  proof  you  want.  You  say  your 
husband  saw  the  man  go  in  and  out  of  her  door ;  but  I 
will  watch.  She  can  never  say  that  he  was  a  brother  or 
a  relative,  for  there  would  be  a  dozen  witnesses  that  she 
said  she  had  no  relatives  living.  We  would  never  accept 
the  cousin  dodge." 

So  after  Miss  Green  had  been  appointed  and  acceptea 
the  duties  of  sentinel,  she  and  Mrs.  Jones  took  their 
leave.  They  had  all  three  agreed  to  await  further  devel 
opments,  watch  her  face  closely  Sunday  morning,  and 
compare  impressions  and  discoveries  after  services. 

So  on  that  day,  after  they  had  joined  each  other,  they 
walked  slowly  down  the  street  together.  Miss  Green, 
who  could  not  control  her  outraged  sensibilities  until  the 
crowd  \vere  out  of  hearing,  whispered : 

"  Now,  what  do  you  think  of  that  for  brazen  impu 
dence  ?  I  saw  the  man  with  my  own  eyes  ;  and  then  she 
dares  to  show  her  face  among  a  God-fearing  people  and 
in  his  own  house !  Did  you  notice  that  guilty  look  on  her 
face  ?  I  have  no  doubt  in  my  mind  that  the  man  is  still 
there,  and  that  she  is  hurrying  home  to  him." 

"So  you  leally  saw  him!     I  winder  who  he  is  and 


SHOULD  SHE  BE  ALLOWED  TO  REMAIN  IN  CHURCH.     115 

where  he  is  from.  Some  old  beau,  no  doubt ;  but  I  don't 
care  who  he  is,  he  is  there  for  no  good.  Was  he  so  very 
good-looking  ?  But  I  don't  suppose  you  have  ever  paid 
enough  attention  to  the  other  sex  to  notice  that  there  is 
any  difference  in  them,  have  you,  Miss  Green  ?  " 

"  Mrs.  Dixon,  if  I  were  you  I  would  try  to  stop  my  in 
sinuations  long  enough  to  use  my  tongue  for  a  sensible 
purpose  once  in  a  while  !  Are  you  ready  now  to  notify 
the  official  board,  or  do  you  still  want  more  proof  of  her 
disgraceful  doings? " 

"  I  for  one,"  said  Mrs.  Jones,  "  believe  we  had  better 
appoint  ourselves  as  a  grievance  committee  of  three  and 
go  and  talk  to  her.  We  might  be  better  able  to  point  out 
to  her  the  sinfulness  of  her  ways.  Those  official  boards 
never  do  know  how  to  deal  with  a  female  sinner,  and  I 
don't  believe  in  throwing  the  weak  masculine  sex  into 
temptation's  \\ay.  Even  those  old  gray-haired  pillars  of 
the  church  might  not  be  proof  against  being  smitten  by 
her  charms.  In  endeavoring  to  discharge  my  duty,  I  have 
come  in  contact  with  so  man}'  kinds  of  people  that  I  think 
I  will  be  able  to  deal  with  this  case  of  misdemeanor." 

"A  capital  idea!"  replied  Mrs.  Jones.  "I  never  thought 
of  that;  but  you  are  always  so  far-sighted  that  I  am  proud 
of  you.  But  when  will  we  call  on  her  to  discharge  this 
duty?  The  sooner  we  attend  to  it  the  better  it  will  be 
for  the  morals  of  the  whole  town — and  how  cautious  we 
should  be  of  the  very  appearance  of  evil  !  What  do  you 
say  to  tomorrow  forenoon  ?  We  will  be  apt  to  find  her  at 
home  then.  We  usually  wash  on  Monday,  but  I  can  put 
that  off  until  Tuesday  when  a  duty  stares  me  in  the  face." 

After  deciding  upon  Monday  as  the  time  for  their  visit, 
they  separated,  Mrs.  Jones  highly  pleased  with  herself 
and  the  world.  The  honor  of  being  crowned  sovereign 
appeared  as  nothing  in  comparison  to  being  considered  a 


H6  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

wise  counselor  in  the  small  affairs  of  her  neighbors.  The 
comfort  that  she  derived  from  this  source  was  gratifying 
in  the  extreme,  and  from  the  weight  of  her  position  she 
felt  called  upon  to  be  very  severe  at  times  in  her  judgment. 
She  felt  that  her  wisdom  should  not  be  questioned  owing 
to  any  leniency  that  she  would  show  in  this  case.  She 
felt  that  the  wToman  had  been  guilty  of  wrong-doing,  and 
she  would  pronounce  her  verdict  unhesitatingly. 

Had  those  worldly-wise  women  acted  upon  their  first 
conclusion  and  laid  the  matter  before  the  official  board,  it 
might  have  made  the  duty  which  they  had  taken  upon 
themselves  so  unflinchingly  entirely  unnecessary.  Mr. 
Ferris  was  a  member  of  that  august  bod}',  and  would 
have  been  able  to  give  a  satisfactory  answer  to  any  ques 
tions  that  they  might  feel  called  upon  to  ask  regarding 
the  propriety  of  Mrs.  Grey's  visitor. 

But  they  had  decided  otherwise.  They  thought  that  if 
they  took  her  unawares  and  told  her  plainly  that  they 
knew  her  guilt,  she  would  certainly  be  led  into  making  a 
confession,  and  they  even  went  so  far  as  to  picture  her 
down  on  her  knees  begging  for  mercy.  But  they  would 
be  unflinching.  She  had  done  wrong,  and  could  not  avoid 
the  consequences.  She  must  at  once  drop  out  of  the  choir 
and  out  of  the  church.  The  fact  that  her  husband  had 
been  pastor  there  once  would  not  help  her,  and  she  had 
better  go  some  place  wrhere  she  was  not  known  and  begin 
life  over  again.  And  Mrs.  Jones  had  decided  upon  quite 
a  number  of  edifying  and  admonitory  phrases  to  deliver 
for  the  spiritual  good  of  the  culprit. 


CHAPTER  XI. 

THE   LADIES  OF  THE  CHURCH  VISIT  MRS.  GREY. 

THLS  part  of  the  program  might  have  been  carried  out 
admirably  had  it  not  been  for  a  pair  of  small  ears 
that  were  ever  on  the  alert — ears  that  had  been  listening 
eagerly  ever  since  his  visit  to  the  home  of  Mrs.  Grey, 
when  he  had  been  sent  there  to  deliver  his  mother's  mes 
sage,  and  that  lady  had  captivated  his  boyish  heart  by  her 
sweetness. 

"  I  promised  that  I  would  tell  her  if  I  heard  them  talk 
ing  about  her  again.  I  am  so  glad  that  I  listened  last 
night  when  the}'  thought  I  had  gone  to  bed.  Never  mind, 
my  lady,  if  you  are  an  expert  at  boxing  boy's  ears  and 
carry  the  key  to  the  pantry  in  your  pocket,  we  have  a 
chance  to  get  even  once  in  a  while.  When  we  boys  have 
any  secrets  to  talk  over  or  any  plans  to  lay,  we  can  go  to 
the  stable  mow  or  sit  on  the  back  alley  fence.  Now,  that 
would  not  be  becoming  to  your  dignity  and  might  be  hard 
on  your  frocks.  I  am  so  glad  that  the  style  for  boy's  to 
wear  pants  never  changes,  or  we  would  have  to  be  so  stiff 
and  careful,  and  do  all  our  talking  on  the  parlor  sofa  on 
Sunday  evenings,  where  our  sisters  could  hear  everything. 
I  don't  think  it  would  be  worth  while  to  be  a  boy  if  they 
heard  all  we  say.  We  catch  it  often  enough  as  it  is,  but 
laws  how  mad  they  would  be  if  they  heard  us  read  their 
pedigrees  sometimes.  But  we  go  where  no  one  can  hear 
us  but  Billy  and  vSooky,  and  they  belong  to  the  respect 
able  class  that  don't  gossip  nor  tell  tales. 

"Aha,  Miss  Sis,  I  was  thinking  about  that  last  time 
you  boxed  my  ears  after  I  had  gone  to  bed,  when  I  was 
listening  under  the  parlor  window.  So  you  may  know  I 

(117) 


Il8  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

took  in  about  all  that  you  said,  and  I  think  I  will  be  able 
to  tell  Mrs.  Grey  the  gist  of  the  conversation.  I  will  tell 
her  that  you  expect  to  call  on  her  about  10  A.  M.  Then 
she  can  prepare  for  your  visit  by  hiding  herself  or  lock 
ing  the  door,  if  she  don't  care  to  be  at  home  to  you." 

So  after  much  soliloquizing  the  boy  presented  himself 
at  Mrs.  Grey's  door  at  an  early  hour,  and  on  being  invited 
to  enter  he  stepped  in,  hat  in  hand.  He  was  eager  to  take 
revenge  on  his  sister  for  exercising  her  authority  over 
him  in  a  manner  not  congenial  to  his  comfort  or  peace  of 
mind.  Then  who  had  a  better  right  to  know  things  about 
people  than  they  did  themselves?  But  when  he  stood 
before  the  lady  to  whom  he  had  so  much  to  impart,  his 
ideas  wrere  all  in  such  a  jumble  that  he  did  not  know 
where  to  begin  his  story,  so  he  said : 

"  I  heard  my  sister  say  that  her,  Mrs.  Jones  and  Mrs. 
Dixon  were  coming  to  see  you  this  forenoon ,  so  I  thought 
I  would  come  and  tell  you,  because  most  people  like  to 
know  when  they  are  going  to  have  company,  and  if  I 
was  in  your  place  I  would  hide  before  they  got  here,  be 
cause  I  heard  them  say  as  how  they  will  be  able  to  make 
you  cringe.  They  say  that  a  man  has  been  seen  about 
your  house.  Mr.  Jones  saw7  him  first,  then  my  sister 
watched  and  saw  him,  too,  and  they  have  made  up  their 
minds  that  it  is  their  Christian  duty  to  come  and  tell  you 
that  it  is  not  becoming  for  a  woman  who  has  no  male 
protector  to  harbor  a  man  in  her  house  in  the  dead  hours 
of  the  night.  The}'  said  that  you  had  better  have  your 
mind  on  the  poor  dead  man  that  is  laid  away  in  the  lone 
cemetery,  than  to  be  disgracing  your  sex  with  your  con 
duct.  My  sister  said  that  if  you  did  not  step  down  and  out 
of  the  choir  and  out  of  the  church  she  \vould  do  so  herself. 
Oh,  they  will  make  you  feel  awful  bad  if  they  get  a 
chance  !  So  if  I  was  in  your  place  I  wouldn't  let  them 


THE  LADIES  OF  THE  CHURCH  VISIT  MRS.  GREY.      119 

in,  I  wouldn't  care  if  it  was  the  truth  or  not.  I  promised 
that  I  would  tell  you  if  I  heard  people  say  things  about 
you,  but  this  was  the  first  time  I  had  a  chance  to  hear 
them,  so  I  came  and  told  you  ;  but  I  don't  believe  a  word 
they  said." 

"  It  gets  little  boys  into  no  end  of  trouble  to  listen  when 
big  folks  are  talking  and  then  tell  what  they  hear,  so  you 
had  better  not  risk  it  again.  But  what  you  heard  them 
say  is  true  ;  there  has  been  a  man  staying  here  for  nearly 
a  wreek.  Mr.  Alton  and  his  wife  are  boarding  with  me. 
Mr.  Alton  is  Mrs.  Ferris'  brother.  His  wife  is  not  strong 
and  does  not  go  about,  so  of  course  people  have  had  no 
chance  to  see  her." 

The  boy's  eyes  opened  with  surprise  ;  then  a  thought 
seemed  to  strike  him.  "  But  if  his  \vife  is  with  him  it  is 
safe  and  sound  to  have  him  about,  and  all  proper  and 
right  and  no  harm  done.'' 

"  No,  Tommy,  there  is  no  harm  done ;  but  it  is  a  pity 
that  people  were  led  into  making  the  mistake.  You  can 
tell  them  how7  it  is,  then  they  need  not  take  the  trouble 
to  call  this  morning,  unless  they  care  to.  You  will  tell 
them,  won't  you  ?  " 

"Oh,  yes;  of  course  I  will  tell  them/'  he  thought,  as 
he  left  the  house,  after  catching  a  glimpse  of  the  strangers 
through  an  open  door.  "  It  will  be  better  than  any  other 
kind  of  good  time  to  get  to  tell  them.  Won't  they  be 
mad  when  they  find  out  through  me  that  there  is  no  use 
for  that  visit,  and  won't  I  tell  how  genteel  they  are  and 
that  they  are  from  the  city  ? 

"  But  if  I  tell  them  they  will  know  that  I  was  there.  I 
guess  maybe  I  had  better  not  tell,  after  all.  It  would  be 
running  risks,  but  I  could  tell  them  that  I  was  passing 
and  saw  them  through  the  window  or  out  in  the  yard." 

As  he  was  trying  to  decide  what  line  of  action  would 


120  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

insure  him  the  greatest  safety  (to  hide  his  own  actions 
seemed  of  the  greatest  importance  just  then)  a  new  thought 
seemed  to  come  to  him  : 

"  I  won't  tell  them  at  all,  but  just  let  them  go  there 
and  find  out  for  themselves.  It  will  make  them  feel  pretty 
mean  and  sneaking,  but  it  will  serve  them  right.  Let 
them  mind  their  own  business,  and  mebby  it  will  be  a 
lesson  that  will  stick,  as  Sis  says  to  me  sometimes." 
He  could  have  hugged  himself  with  delight  at  the 
thought.  "  It  will  be  enough  to  take  the  sass  out  of  Sis 
for  a  month.  If  I  would  only  dare  to  tell  her  then  that  I 
knew  all  about  it !  I  wish  I  was  little  enough  to  hide  in 
a  crack  somewhere,  so  I  could  see  and  hear  the  whole 
performance.  I  think  if  I  was  in  their  place  I  would  step 
down  and  out  of  existence  if  I  made  such  a  fool  of  my 
self.  I  am  so  glad  that  some  others  besides  boys  get 
themselves  into  scrapes  sometimes." 

His  jubilant  spirits  knew  no  bounds  when,  from  his 
perch  on  the  alley  fence,  he  saw  the  trio  depart  a  few 
hours  later. 

"I  am  so  glad,"  said  Mrs.  Jones,  "that  I  happened  to 
think  of  us  going  to  see  her  ourselves.  I  believe  in  dis 
posing  of  any  one  like  her  as  quietly  as  possible,  and  I 
think  that  I  will  be  directed  to  talk  to  her  in  a  way  that 
might  yet  help  her  to  turn  back ;  but  she  will  have  to  go 
where  she  is  not  known,  for  when  a  woman  once  gets 
herself  talked  about  she  is  gone,  even  if  there  is  no  truth 
in  the  stories — and  I  guess  there  is  no  lack  of  evidence 
in  this  case.  My  mind  is  made  up  on  one  thing  :  she 
will  have  to  leave  this  town  ;  and  if  there  are  too  many 
attractions  here  for  her  to  leave  willingly,  we  will  manage 
or  I  will  see  to  it  that  she  goes  anyway.  I  do  not  believe 
in  performing  a  duty  or  doing  anything  by  halves.  But 
I  hope  we  won't  have  any  trouble  with  her.  It  would  be 


THE  LADIES  OF  THE  CHURCH   VISIT  MRS.  GREY.      121 

too  bad  if  we  did,  since  she  is  our  dead  pastor's  widow. 
Oh,  no  !  of  course  we  could  not  afford  to  make  any  allow 
ance  on  that  account.  It  would  not  be  becoming  to  us 
sisters  of  the  church  if  we  did  not  perform  our  dutj1  to 
the  letter,  no  matter  how  much  unprofessors  may  shirk 
their  responsibilities." 

By  this  time  they  had  reached  their  destination,  Mrs. 
Jones,  as  village  oracle,  taking  the  lead.  She  succeeded 
admirably  in  concealing  what  degree  of  trepidation  she 
may  have  felt,  and  after  assuming  the  air  of  bravery  and 
fortitude  that  she  thought  the  occasion  demanded,  she 
stepped  to  the  door  and  rang  the  bell. 

Mrs.  Grey,  somewhat  surprised,  admitted  them.  She 
had  hoped  that  Tommy's  story  would  prevent  their 
coming.  What  would  her  guests  think  if  they  knew  that 
she  was  suspected  of  wrong-doing?  Might  it  not  cast  a 
reflection  upon  her  former  conduct  ?  She  recoiled  with 
repugnance  from  the  very  thought  of  being  either  watched 
or  mistrusted  by  any  one  ;  but  the  thought  of  those  pleas 
ant  strangers  hearing  of  it  sent  a  thrill  of  horror  through 
her  heart,  and  she  only  hoped  to  be  able  to  get  rid  of  her 
callers  without  any  of  their  talk  being  overheard. 

But  Mrs.  Jones  had  determined  that  if  there  was  a  man 
in  the  house,  as  she  fully  believed,  he  should  also  get  the 
benefit  of  her  superior  wisdom  and  excellent  judgment ; 
and  after  all,  he  needed  to  be  admonished  and  warned  as 
well  as  she.  Of  course  he  was  not  to  blame,  but — no,  she 
would  not  even  spare  him.  She  would  talk  loud  enough 
so  that  he  could  not  fail  to  hear  her.  So  she  began  in  a 
high-pitched  voice,  which  penetrated  to  every  part  of  the 
little  cottage  : 

"  Mrs.  Grey,  it  is  in  discharge  of  a  very  painful  duty 
that  we  are  here  this  morning,  and  I  devoutly  hope  that 
we  may  not  be  too  late  ;  that  you  may  still — 
8 


122  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

But  how  she  would  have  further  delivered  herself  will 
never  be  known,  for  at  that  moment  the  parlor  door 
opened  and  the  stalwart  form  of  a  man — yes,  it  was  a 
man,  sure  enough — stepped  into  the  room  ;  but  by  his 
side  was  a  beautiful  lady.  The  man,  after  looking  from 
one  to  the  other  of  the  grievance  committee  with  an  eye 
that  bid  fair  to  quell  stronger  hearts  than  they  possessed, 
turned  kindly  toward  Mrs.  Grey,  saying  : 

"  I  hope  you  will  forgive  me  when  I  tell  you  that  I 
overheard  what  took  place  in  this  room  this  morning.  I 
could  not  well  avoid  it.  I  heard  every  word  that  the  boy 
said.  Yes,"  he  said  to  the  women,  "  we  were  made  aware 
of  your  intended  visit  and  the  nature  thereof."  Then 
turning  to  Mrs.  Grey  again,  he  went  on  :  "I  was  only 
withheld  from  coming  in  and  choking  the  youngster  by 
my  desire  to  find  out  to  what  depth  human  nature  will 
drag  those  who  give  themselves  up  to  its  weaknesses, 
and  I  hope,"  he  went  on  kindly,  "  that  you  will  also 
pardon  the  liberty  I  am  taking  now." 

To  the  nonplussed  and  now  thoroughly  uncomfortable 
women  he  said :  "  My  wife  and  I  have  been  waiting  for 
your  arrival,  and  only  hoped  that  you  would  not  forego 
your  visit,  that  we  might  have  the  opportunity  to  make 
an  explanation — one  that  would  be  justified  by  even  your 
strict  sense  of  propriety — and  thereby  spare  our  kind 
hostess  an  interview  that  could  not  fail  to  be  as  painful 
and  humiliating  to  her  as  it  would  be  shameful  and  de 
grading  to  you.  My  wife  and  I  are  boarding  with  Mrs. 
Grey;  have  been  for  nearly  a  week.  I  am  a  brother  of 
Mrs.  Ferris.  She  is  having  some  remodeling  done  on 
her  premises,  and  this  lady,  who  is  a  very  dear  friend  of 
my  sister's,  has  kindly  consented  to  take  us  in  until  her 
house  shall  be  in  a  condition  for  her  to  entertain  my  wife, 
who  is  not  strong ;  and  hoping  that  this  explanation  will 


THE  LADIES  OF  THE  CHURCH  VISIT  MRS.  GREY.      123 

prove  satisfactory  to  your  righteous  minds,  we  will  all  bid 
you  good  morning." 

It  would  be  utterly  useless  to  try  to  describe  the  feel 
ings  of  the  would-be  counselors  as  the}*  took  their  leave 
with  shame  and  indignation  blended  on  their  faces. 
They  had  been  coolly  bidden  to  depart  without  having 
the  opportunity  to  say  one  word  that  might  justify  their 
conduct  in  the  eyes  of  her  whom  the}-  had  wronged. 
They  had  been  brow-beaten  by  the  very  man  whom  Mrs. 
Jones  had  hoped  to  condemn  by  his  own  conduct.  But 
their  feeling  of  shame  soon  gave  way  to  that  of  resent 
ment,  and  Mrs.  Jones  began  in  a  voice  in  which  there 
was  a  perceptible  decrease  of  self-confidence,  a  fact  which 
her  bravado  failed  to  conceal. 

"  I  don't  care,  it  is  good  enough  for  her !  It  is  her  own 
fault !  " 

Oh,  no  !  they  would  not  admit,  not  even  to  themselves, 
that  they  were  the  objects  of  commiseration,  that  they 
were  worsted  in  the  combat,  but  she  went  on,  coaxing  as 
much  of  the  spirit  of  genuineness  into  her  voice  as  pos 
sible  : 

"  If  she  had  acted  as  any  woman  ought,  as  a  sister  of 
the  church  should,  she  would  have  told  me  that  she  was 
about  to  take  some  boarders.  Why,  I  was  there  the  very 
afternoon  they  came,  and  she  did  not  even  tell  me.  It 
would  have  saved  all  this  mistrust  and  all  this  trouble  to 
us.  It  is  no  small  matter  to  me  to  take  the  burden  of  the 
wrong-doing  of  the  church  upon  my  shoulders.  What  a 
lot  of  trouble  it  would  save,  and  how  much  better  people 
would  understand  each  other,  if  they  were  not  so  selfish. 
A  little  confidence  now  and  then  would  be  such  an 
insurance  against  wrong  impressions.  I  don't  mean  that 
people  should  tell  their  affairs  to  everybody,  but  only  to 
such  as  they  could  trust  and  who  might  be  able  to  advise 


124  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

them.  She  might  have  told  me  that  morning  that  she 
was  expecting  strangers,  just  as  well  as  not ;  then  we 
would  have  known  that  it  was  all  right,  and  might  be  at 
home  attending  to  our  home  duties,  instead  of  bothering 
ourselves  in  trying  to  benefit  others." 

That  withheld  confidence,  upon  the  part  of  Mrs.  Grey, 
was  an  insult  to  Mrs.  Jones  to  which  she  could  not  well 
resign  her  wounded  sensibilities ;  a  deep-rooted  wrong 
of  that  sort  she  could  not  reconcile  herself  to. 

"  He  was  a  splendid-looking  man,"  said  Mrs.  Dixon  to 
Miss  Green,  after  they  had  been  left  alone  together.  "I 
am  almost  sorry  that  Mr.  Alton  has  a  wife,  although  it 
would  be  the  ruin  of  Mrs.  Grey  if  he  had  not.  I  am  so 
thoughtful  for  you,  my  dear,  that  I  would  almost  see 
people's  good  name  sacrificed  on  your  account.  I  know 
that  if  he  was  a  single  man,  he  could  not  fail  to  succumb 
to  your  girlish  charms.  I  know  if  I  were  a  man  I  should 
not  be  long  in  discovering  them." 

"  Mrs.  Dixon,  don't  talk  to  me  about  the  men  !  The 
whole  lot  of  them  are  brutes !  Don't  talk  to  me  about  a 
man  that  would  stand  up  and  treat  well-meaning  ladies 
like  that  one  did  us !  What  right  had  he  to  act  with  such 
authority  in  her  house  if  there  is  nothing  between  them  ? 
I  would  like  to  see  a  man  assume  the  right  to  insult  my 
friends  in  my  own  house,  and  that  man  the  husband  of 
another !  The  simple  fact  that  he  has  a  wife  makes 
matters  appear  all  the  worse  in  my  eyes  !  " 

"And,"  she  continued  under  her  breath,  "  the  fact  that 
we  failed  to  catch  her  this  time  makes  me  all  the  more 
determined  to  hound  her  down." 

Nothing  but  the  direst  revenge  would  appease  the 
wrath  caused  by  the  humiliation  to  which  she  had  been 
subjected.  It  had  all  been  so  different  from  what  she 
had  expected.  She  had  thought  to  get  rid  of  the  woman, 


THE  LADIES  OE  THE  CHURCH  VISIT   MRS.  GREY.      125 

whom  she  now  thoroughly  hated,  and  instead  a  stranger 
had  insulted  her,  and  in  defense  of  that  despised  person. 

"  Mrs.  Dixon,"  and  she  turned  almost  fiercely  to  her 
companion,  "  I  wonder  who  told  them  that  we  were  com 
ing  !  I  shall  find  out  if  it  costs  my  very  life,  and  then  the 
little  wretch  shall  suffer,  I  don't  care  \vho  he  is,  not 
only  for  carrying  the  news  to  her,  but  for  not  telling  us 
the  truth,  for  he  certainly  must  have  found  out  before  he 
left  who  her  boarders  are." 

But  not  wishing  that  Mrs.  Dixon  should  see  any  greater 
manifestation  of  her  temper,  she  left  her  and  entered  her 
home,  now  thoroughlv  aroused. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

AN    OFFER    OF    A    HOME. 

AFTER  the  departure  of  the  three  women  Fred.  Alton 
stood  for  a  moment  quietly  regarding  the  face  of 
Mrs.  Grey,  upon  which  was  depicted  such  utter  humilia 
tion,  but  this  look  gave  place  to  one  of  gratitude  as  she 
looked  from  him  to  his  wife — a  look  of  gratitude  blended 
with  pain. 

He  began,  "  Mrs.  Grey,  do  not  think  for  a  moment  that 
we  do  not  realize  the  extent  of  the  liberty  that  we  have 
taken.  I  say  we,  for  I  found  a  ready  accomplice  in  this 
little  woman.  But  wre  were  made  unwilling  listeners  this 
morning,  the  door  leading  from  the  parlor  to  the  veranda 
being  open.  We  wTould  have  closed  it,  but  the  boy  had 
only  said  a  few  wrords  until  it  was  plain  that  you  were  in 
trouble,  and  that  we  were  the  cause  of  it,  and  remember 
ing  the  circumstances  under  which  you  took  us  into  your 
home,  we  did  not  think  it  a  violation  of  principle  to  listen 
to  the  end  and  see  in  what  way  we  might  be  able  to  spare 
you.  Believe  me,  it  was  only  through  the  depth  of  the 
regard  that  we  feel  for  you  that  we  were  led  to  do  what 
must  appear  to  you  to  be  dishonorable  in  the  extreme. 

"For  our  present  conduct  I  will  offer  no  excuse,  but 
will  make  a  confession  instead.  It  was  a  conspiracy — 
what  the  courts  call  a  premeditated  offense — so  of  course 
we  can  hope  for  no  leniency.  I  will  own  ( although  it  is 
not  a  tribute  to  human  nature )  that  it  afforded  me  a  great 
deal  of  personal  satisfaction  to  have  the  opportunity  to 
administer  to  those  women  what  they  justly  deserved." 

"You  must  not  blame  my  husband  for  what  he  has  just 
done,"  said  Mrs.  Alton.  "It  was  my  fault.  I  planned 

(126) 


AX    OFFER    OF    A    HOMK.  127 

this  little  drama,  in  which  he  obliged  me  by  kindly  con 
senting  to  take  the  leading  part.  Believe  me,  we  did  it 
through  consideration  for  you,  and  if  we  have  acted  un 
wisely  I  hope  you  will  forgive  us.  The  head  will  some 
times  err,  even  though  the  heart  be  in  the  right.  Say 
that  you  will  forgive  us,  and  we  will  not  be  sorry  that  we 
were  the  means  of  terminating  their  visit  in  a  way  that 
they  will  not  soon  be  able  to  forget." 

"  I  can  not  but  feel  the  deepest  sorrow  that  this  should 
have  happened,"  said  Mrs.  Grey  with  a  look  of  despair 
in  her  eyes  ;  "that  you  should  be  annoyed  by  an  occur 
rence  of  this  kind  while  guests  under  my  roof.  I  would 
rather  have  spared  you  all  knowledge  of  it,  had  it  been 
in  my  power,  but  I  do  not  question  your  motive  and  only 
hope  that  I  fully  appreciate  your  kindness,  for  which  you 
have  my  heartfelt  thanks.  I  am  poor  defense  in  trials  of 
this  kind,  but  I  must  ask  you  not  to  be  too  severe  in  your 
judgment  of  those  women.  They  no  doubt  thought  it  to 
be  a  duty,  and  I  am  only  sorry  that  I  did  not  avoid  this 
by  telling  Mrs.  Jones  that  you  were  coming.  She  had 
only  been  gone  a  short  time  when  you  arrived.  I  may 
be  at  fault  by  being  so  reticent,  but  it  is  my  nature,  if 
that  is  an)'  excuse." 

"  I  have  no  doubt,"  said  Mr.  Alton,  "  that  some  women, 
and  men  too,  as  far  as  that  is  concerned,  train  themselves 
into  the  belief  that  it  is  in  discharge  of  duty  that  they 
cause  so  much  misery  in  this  world  by  their  restless 
tongues,  but  it  is  a  libel  upon  the  face  of  God's  truth  to 
say  that  duty  calls  upon  any  one  to  do  aught  but  attend 
strictly  to  their  own  business.  God  never  intended  us  to 
be  each  other's  keeper,  and  we  cannot  attempt  to  do  this 
in  the  slightest  degree  without  violating  His  laws,  (or 
which  offense  no  judgment  or  punishment  would  be 
too  severe  in  mv  eves.  Do  not  blame  yourself  for  vour 


128  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

reticence.  It  is  only  natural  for  well-bred  people  to  be 
as  quiet  about  their  own  affairs  as  they  are  indifferent 
about  those  of  others,  no  matter  how  much  natures  of  a 
certain  kind  may  clamor  for  a  close  account  of  private 
proceedings." 

The  genuine  sympathy  of  her  guests  took  the  poisoned 
sting  out  of  Mary  Grey's  heart,  but  the  wound  to  her 
pride  remained.  Her  friends,  whose  regard  she  held  in 
highest  esteeem,  had  felt  it  their  duty  to  come  to  her 
assistance.  They  had  been  led  to  act  in  a  way  that  could 
not  have  been  otherwise  than  distasteful  to  them,  even 
though  Mr.  Alton's  gallantry  had  prompted  him  to  try  to 
make  it  appear  otherwise.  She  had  been  mistrusted  of 
wrong  doing.  Howr  she  recoiled  from  the  thought ! 
She  had  rested  in  the  belief  that  a  good  character  and  a 
clear  conscience  would  serve  as  a  sort  of  shield  against 
unjust  implications,  but  she  had  found  that  the}'  served 
as  naught  in  the  common  verdict,  and  that  no  matter 
how  unimpeachable  a  life  had  been,  there  was  an  under 
current  sentiment  that  was  willing  to  drag  it,  upon  the 
least  pretext,  upon  the  scales  of  their  opinion. 

What  should  she  do?  How  should  she  act  in  future? 
As  stoutly  as  her  heart  had  always  rebelled  against  the 
thought  of  their  rights  as  critics,  she  felt  that  she  must 
in  safety  to  herself  guide  her  actions  in  such  a  manner  as 
to  keep  them  within  the  limits  of  their  laws.  Poor  soul, 
it  is  well  that  she  did  not  know  how  utterly  impossible 
this  was,  or  her  courage  would  have  failed  her — that 
courage  which  was  to  be  so  sorely  tried.  She  would  not 
keep  the  cottage,  would  not  even  try  to  keep  it  any 
longer.  What  pleasure  would  there  be  in  so  doing  if  she 
was  to  be  watched  like  a  convict  out  on  parole  ?  And 
then  she  had  as  yet  received  no  answer  to  her  letter  of 
application  to  Colonel  Wilkins,  and  even  if  that  should 


AX    OFFKR    Or    A    HOMK.  1 29 

prove  iii  her  favor,  it  was  necessary  to  lay  something  by 
for  the  Inture.  "  I  can  not  always  go  on  this  way.  The 
time  may  come  when  I  will  not  be  able  to  work  and  still 
have  to  live.  Yes,  I  will  live  in  two  rooms  and  save  all 
I  can,  but  I  will  have  to  begin  to  look  about  this  very 
afternoon.  I  will  consult  Mrs.  Ferris  about  it  before  I 
begin.  She  is  acquainted  with  the  people.  I  could  never 
live  with  those  who  would  think  it  necessary  to  w7atch 
my  actions  as  a  precaution  against  possible  evil  to  them 
selves.  I  must  be  very  careful.  To  live  in  an  air  of  mis 
trust  would  be  unendurable. 

"  Oh,  what  a  bitter  lesson  the  last  few  days  have  been 
to  me,  when  I  always  have  felt  that  a  change  of  manner 
after  an  inspection  of  character  or  of  a  life  was  evidence 
of  irregularity,  or  even  an  admission  of  guilt.  Now  my 
whole  mind  seems  intent  upon  trying  to  escape  those 
scrutinies,  if  it  does  necessitate  a  change." 

A  few  days  before  the  time  arrived  for  her  guests  to 
make  the  change  to  the  house  of  Mrs.  Ferris,  Mrs.  Grey 
went  to  that  lady,  told  her  plans  and  asked  her  advice. 
"You  are  better  acquainted  than  I  am  with  the  ways  of  the 
world,  tell  me  what  will  be  best  and  I  will  do  whatever  you 
advise.  Have  you  ever  thought  what  helpless  creatures 
we  women  are  ?  \Ye  may  think  that  we  are  capable  of 
taking  care  of  ourselves  until  the  test  comes,  and  then 
we  find  that  we  are  sadly  wanting  in  courage."  And  then 
she  related  the  experience  that  she  had  passed  through. 
"  I  feel  that  I  would  rather  deny  myself  almost  anything 
than  to  have  such  a  thing  happen  again.  I  believe  it 
would  make  me  look  and  even  feel  guilty  if  I  thought 
my  every  act  was  tested  to  find  what  was  the  motive  that 
prompted  it." 

Mrs.  Ferris,  who  had  heard  the  story  from  her  brother 
and  his  wife  (but  only  on  promise  of  the  strictest  secrecy), 


130  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

had  given  Mrs.  Grey's  future  some  earnest  thought,  and 
had  even  formed  some  plans  for  her,  should  they  meet 
with  her  approval,  but  wisely  concealing  her  own  thoughts 
she  waited  for  Mrs.  Grey  to  complete  her  story,  and  then 
she  said  kindly: 

"  I  thank  you  for  your  confidence  in  my  judgment.  I 
consider  that  as  a  compliment  from  one  like  you.  I  am 
glad  for  my  own  sake,  as  well  as  yours,  that  you  came  to 
me,  for  I  think  that  I  will  be  able  to  help  you.  It  is  in 
a  way  that  I  know  would  be  a  pleasure  to  me,  at  least. 
I  have  some  rooms  that  have  never  been  of  any  service 
to  me,  but  have  only  come  in  for  a  cleaning  twice  a  year, 
and  if  you  think  my  society  would  be  agreeable  to  you  I 
would  be  pleased  to  have  you  come  and  take  possession 
of  them." 

"  Oh,  no,  Mrs.  Ferris  ;  as  desirable  as  such  a  change 
would  be,  I  could  never  bring  myself  to  take  advantage 
of  your  kindly  interest  in  me.  I  could  not  permit  you  to 
empty  your  well-furnished  rooms.  The  rent  that  I  could 
afford  to  pay  would  not  justify  you  in  making  such  a 
sacrifice.  My  present  income  would  not  admit  the  paying 
of  the  real  price  of  your  rooms,  and  I  could  not  permit  a 
reduction." 

"  If  you  refuse  I  will  think  that  you  object  to  me,  and 
in  that  case  I  will  not  insist,  for  I  have  tried  every  means 
in  my  power  to  win  your  approval  and  friendship,  and  if 
you  do  not  come  I  will  know  that  I  have  failed  to  make 
a  favorable  impression  regarding  the  desirability  of  my 
society." 

"  Mrs.  Ferris,  I  know  you  mean  well,  and  I  thank  you 
from  the  depth  of  my  heart  for  your  kindness  ;  but  you 
are  thinking  of  my  good  alone.  It  could  not  fail  to  be 
come  tiresome  to  have  a  stranger  under  vour  roof,  even 


AX    OFFER    OF    A    HOME.  131 

if  I  could  afford  to  pay  you  well,  a  thing  that  you  know 
is  beyond  my  power." 

"  Mrs.  Grey,  I  know  that  you  can  not  afford  to  pay 
high  rent,  and  for  that  very  reason  I  want  you  to  come  to 
me,  and  I  hope  that  you  appreciate  my  good  intentions 
enough  to  let  me  do  this  much  for  you.  Those  rooms 
are  not  in  use.  They  are  furnished,  it  is  true  ;  but  we 
have  a  large  garret,  and  can  soon  store  the  goods  that  are 
in  them,  and  there  is  also  room  for  such  things  as  you 
would  like  to  store.  You  might  want  to  keep  more  than 
it  would  take  to  furnish  your  apartments.  I  hardly  know 
how  to  proceed,  but  I  hope  that  you  will  not  be  offended 
when  I  tell  you  what  I  have  on  my  mind." 

There  was  a  certain  reserve  about  this  little  woman 
which  even  the  kind  and  wealthy  Mrs.  Ferris  had  failed 
to  penetrate.  So  it  was  with  the  greatest  reluctance  that 
she  approached  this  part  of  the  subject. 

"  Be  assured,"  she  went  on,  "that  it  is  only  the  appre 
ciation  of  your  genuine  \vorth  and  the  desire  to  be  a 
friend  that  causes  me  to  say  this  to  you.  I  know  how 
necessary  it  is  for  you  to  save  some  of  your  earnings. 
We  have  an  abundance."  She  saw  the  color  rise  in  the 
tace  of  the  other,  and  hurried  desperately  into  her  subject 
before  she  could  have  time  to  interrupt.  "  You  have 
saved  us  quite  a  sum  by  giving  our  daughter  such  excel 
lent  instructions  here  at  home  ;  you  have  saved  us  the 
expense  of  sending  her  away  to  an  academy  of  music, 
which  would  not  be  a  small  one,  and  \ve  would  gladly 
give  you  a  home,  if  you  would  only  accept  it." 

"  Oh,  no,  Mrs.  Ferris  !  I  know  that  to  you  I  look  like 
a  person  in  need,  but  I  could  never  live  upon  the  charity 
or  benevolence  of  another.  My  pride  would  suffer  a  blow 
from  which  it  would  never  recover.  I  know  that  I  am 
poor,  but  I  would  never  accept  the  value  of  a  penny 


132  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

without  a  fair  return.  I  know  that  you  mean  it  for  my 
good,  but  please  say  no  more  about  it ;  I  really  could  not 
bear  it." 

Mrs.  Ferris  crossed  the  room,  took  a  seat  by  Mary 
Grey's  side,  and  threw  her  arms  protectingly  about  her. 
"  If  you  would  only  let  me  be  a  mother  to  you,  how 
happy  it  would  make  me.  You  are  sadly  in  need  of  a 
friend  and  protector.  Come  to  me  and  I  will  endeavor, 
as  far  as  lies  within  my  power,  to  take  your  dead  mother's 
place.  I  could  not  hope  to  take  her  place  in  your  affec 
tions,  but  I  could  be  much  to  you,  and  you  would  be  so 
much  company  to  us  all ;  so  say  no  more  about  being  a 
stranger  under  our  roof." 

"  Please  do  not  try  to  tempt  me,  Mrs.  Ferris.  I  know 
that  you  \vould  be  very  kind  and  that  I  could  not  fail  to 
be  happy  with  you  ;  but  it  is  beyond  my  means,  and  so  .1 
would  rather  go  where  I  can  pay  my  way  according  to 
my  conscience." 

"  I  will  be  candid  with  you.  I  had  made  up  my  mind 
for  some  time  to  have  you  live  with  us,  and  can  not  well 
give  up ;  and  if  you  are  so  determined  upon  earning  your 
way,  I  will  give  you  an  opportunity  to  do  so  here.  We 
have  a  great  many  small  duties  that  are  not  very  hard, 
and  still  too  much  for  me  since  Ellen  is  not  strong 
enough  to  be  much  help.  You  can  come  to  us  and  live 
as  one  of  the  family,  and  help  me  with  such  tasks  as  I 
may  impose  upon  you.  I  will  try  to  find  enough  for  you 
to  do  to  ease  your  conscience,  since  that  seems  to  be 
a  source  of  such  trouble  to  you.  You  could  sell  your 
household  goods,  invest  your  money  where  it  will  draw 
interest  and  add  to  it  such  as  you  can  earn,  and  live  with 
us  in  quiet  and  contentment,  and  by  the  time  that  you 
are  tired  of  us  and  anxious  to  get  away  you  will  have 
saved  something  to  depend  upon.  Please  let  me  help  you 


AX    OFFER   OF    A    HOME.  133 

do  this,  and  we  will  endeavor  to  make  such  a  pleasant 
home  for  you  that  you  need  never  regret  the  step." 

"  Mrs.  Ferris,  I  am  very  grateful  to  you.  Believe  me, 
but  I  can  not  accept  your  kind  offer — at  least  not  at  once. 
I  must  have  time  to  think.  Give  me  a  few  days  in  which 
to  look  about,  and  if  at  the  end  of  that  time  I  have  found 
no  rooms  I  will  consider  your  offer.  But,  believe  me, 
under  no  consideration  will  I  accept  your  kindness  unless 
I  can  make  myself  worthy  in  a  practical  way.  Since  self- 
sustenance  seems  to  be  my  only  hope  in  future,  I  can  not 
be  particular  as  to  the  means.  But  give  me  time.  This 
is  a  matter  of  no  small  importance  to  me." 

"  Xor  is  it  of  any  less  importance  to  me,  but  not  from 
your  point  of  view.  My  greatest  anxiety  is  that  you  let 
me  be  such  a  friend  to  you  as  no  human  soul  can  well 
do  without — one  who  has  your  interest  and  happiness  at 
heart." 

But  she  did  not  tell  her  that  her  chief  object  was  to 
get  her  where  she  thought  she  would  be  safe  from  the 
vigilant  eyes  and  busy  tongues  of  her  enemies.  Kven 
Mrs.  Ferris,  with  all  her  experience  with  the  world,  did 
not  at  that  time  reali/e  the  fruitlessness  of  such  an 
attempt. 

Try  as  she  would,  she  could  get  no  further  promise 
from  her ;  could  not  dissuade  her  from  her  purpose  of 
looking  elsewhere.  Had  she  known  what  this  quest  held 
in  store  for  her  young  friend,  she  would  have  plead  with 
her  from  the  depth  of  her  heart.  But  ignorant  of  this, 
she  was  obliged  to  let  Mary  Grey  go  and  find  out  for 
herself  what  this  world  of  ours  holds  in  store  for  those 
women  who  must  fight  life's  battles  alone ;  that  the  world 
did  not  mete  out  its  judgments  according  to  merits  and 
deserts,  but  that  superior  worth  and  capabilities  were 
more  often  sources  of  aggravation  to  envy  and  malice. 


134  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

She  had  thought  the  experience  of  the  last  week  bitter, 
but  she  was  yet  to  learn  the  lesson  that  was  to  leave  its 
impression  upon  her  heart  in  letters  of  flame ;  the  lesson 
that  is  learned  by  unsuspecting  humanity  every  day : 
that  no*matter  how  false  a  report  had  been  proven,  that 
did  not  interfere  with  its  circulation  and  eager  acceptance 
by  groveling  minds. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

A    SKARCH    FOR    ROOMS. 

SO  all  unconscious  of  the  treatment  that  she  was  about 
to  receive  she  started  on  her  fruitless  search — fruit 
less  in  all  but  hopelessness  and  despair.  She  tried  first 
at  some  of  the  more  fashionable  houses,  where  she  had 
been  told  the  people  had  found  it  expedient  to  let  a  few 
rooms  to  desirable  parties.  For  she  thought,  it  is  those 
who  are  most  worried  over  the  cares  and  necessaries  of 
life  that  become  narrow  and  envious. 

But  she  soon  found  that  the  fact  that  the  better  .class 
did  not  condescend  to  take  part  in  any  scandal,  did  not 
always  prevent  them  from  hearing  of  it.  Yes,  they  had 
heard  the  talk  about  Mrs.  Grey,  and  it  had  come  through 
people  of  her  own  church  too.  And  since  those  very 
people  had  not  corrected  the  mistake  the}'  had  made,  the}' 
did  not  find  it  desirable  to  run  any  risks.  So  they  told 
her  politely,  but  coldly,  that  their  apartments  would  be 
more  suitable  for  gentlemen,  or  man  and  wife. 

The  truth  dawned  slowly  and  painfully  upon  the  poor 
woman's  mind  as  she  met  with  the  same  firm  refusal  at 
all  the  most  desirable  places.  But  she  continued  her 
search,  growing  less  and  less  exacting  as  she  went  from 
one  to  the  other  of  the  less  spacious  but  comfortable 
looking  houses.  Here  she  was  received  in  a  way  that 
could  not  well  be  misunderstood.  Their  steady  strife 
with  the  world,  to  meet  its  demands,  had  led  them  to 
think  that  to  insure  safety  and  success  to  themselves 
necessitated  the  closest  watch  of  all  who  might  come 
under  their  eyes;  and,  as  is  usually  the  case,  their  vigil 
ance  had  become  such  a  predominant  feature  that  con- 


136  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

cealment  was  next  to  impossible.  So  they  each  met  her 
in  a  way  according  to  what  they  thought  the  occasion 
demanded,  but  with  open  disapproval  on  all  sides.  They 
did  not  think  that  she  looked  exactly  like  such  a  very 
great  sinner,  but  the  news  had  come  through  people  of 
her  own  church;  and  where  there  was  so  much  smoke 
there  must  be  a  little  fire,  and  it  was  always  best  to  be 
on  the  safe  side. 

One  who  found  it  hard  to  decide  between  caution  and 
a  desire  to  rent  her  rooms,  began  to  make  overtures  by 
saying,  "  It  is  so  hard  for  women  to  keep  themselves 
above  suspicion.  They  have  to  be  very  careful  how  they 
act.  If  you  came  to  room  with  me,  I  should  have  to  ask 
you  not  to  have  any  gentlemen  callers.  Xot  that  I  care, 
but  I  would  not  like  to  get  myself  talked  about,  and  if 
men  were  seen  coming  here,  people  might  think  they 
were  coming  to  see  me ;  and  then  I  could  not  afford  to 
have  anything  wrong  go  on  in  my  house  any  way.  And 
after  a  woman  once  gets  herself  talked  about,  everybody 
who  associates  with,  her  get  themselves  watched  as  close 
ly  as  she  does." 

"  You  need  have  no  fear,"  said  the  now  almost  desper 
ate  woman;  "I  will  have  no  gentlemen  callers,  for  who 
would  there  be  to  call  on  me?" 

And  then  she  recollected  herself.  "  But  I  may  have 
some  young  men  in  my  class.  You  know  I  support  my 
self  by  giving  music  lessons,  and  in  case  young  men 
should  ask  me  to  give  them  instructions,  I  could  not 
refuse  them." 

"Oh,  of  course,"  said  the  woman,  "  there  would  be 
nothing  wrong  about  that  ;  but  the  music  might  not  be 
agreeable  to  my  husband.  And  I  have  heard  of  two 
young  ladies  that  want  -my  rooms.  They  are  sisters,  and 
such  lovely  girls,  they  say.  So  I  guess  I  had  better  not 


A    SKAKCII    FOR    ROOMS.  137 

rent  them  at  present.     Rooms  are  quite  in  demand,  they 
say." 

What  should  she  do  next?  What  could  she  do?  But 
she  was  more  determined  than  ever  to  secure  rooms.  If 
she  was  mistrusted  on  all  sides  like  this,  how  could  she 
bring  herself  to  take  advantage  of  her  friend's  offer,  who 
was,  no  doubt,  aware  of  all  this,  and  was  led  through  her 
kindness  and  solicitude  alone  to  make  her  this  offer  of 
shelter  and  protection.  She  would  go  among  the  women 
who  worked  for  their  living.  She  felt  that  she  no  longer 
could  be  a  chooser,  but  must  be  satisfied  with  whatever 
might  be  obtainable,  regardless  of  locality  or  kind. 

"Ah,  Mrs.  Grey,  it's  rooms  that  ye  are  in  search  of," 
said  Mrs.  O'Grady,  when  the  weary  house  hunter  pre 
sented  herself  at  the  home  of  Mrs.  Murphy,  where  the 
two  friends  were  spending  the  afternoon  in  earnest  con 
versation  and  excited  altercations  by  turn.  "  Faith,  and 
did  ye/  think  that  it  was  an  intilligence  office  that  me 
frind  here  is  kapin'  ?  It  is  no  such  lofty  occupation  that 
we  are  engaged  in.  Now,  if  it  was  a  laundress  that  ye 
was  afther,  I  would  recommind  the  good  Mrs.  Murphy 
hersilf,  for  all  the  belles  and  beaux,  and  aven  the  gintry 
itsilf,  owe  their  smart  appearance  to  her  illigant  skill." 

"  Mrs.  O'Grady,  it  is  the  proi/e  that  ye  would  take  for 
kissin'  of  the  blarney  stone  !  If  Oi  were  ye,  Oi  would 
enter  the  contist  for  it.  It  would  be  aiser  imploymint  for 
ye/  than  to  be  earnin'  your  wealth  with  suds  and  soap 
and  foine  starch.  It  might  prove  fatiguing  to  your  aisy 
tongue,  but  it  would  be  savin'  of  your  hands  and  might 
be  the  manes  of  makin'  a  foine  lady  of  ye/  yet,"  said 
Mrs.  Murphy. 

"  Mrs.  Murphy,"  said  Mrs.  Grey,  "  I  came  in  to  see  if 
you  had  any  rooms  to  let." 

"  And  who  would  be  afther  occupyin'  of  the   rooms  if 
9 


138  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

Oi  had  ?  A  man  or  a  woman  ?  Oi  could  not  be  afther 
lettin'  rooms  to  a  woman  who  would  set  up  her  tub  and 
board  and  purloin  me  business  out  of  me  hands.  Rooms 
for  yoursilf,  did  yez  say?  "  And  she  opened  her  eyes  and 
held  up  her  hands  in  true  Irish  fashion,  with  many  such 
profuse  exclamations  and  ejaculations  as  are  peculiar  to 
their  tongue.  "  Oi  have  no  rooms  for  the  loikes  of  ye,  at 
all,  at  all.  Why  don't  yez  go  among  the  gintility,  where 
yez  belong?  It  is  no  one  but  the  common  laborin'  class 
loike  mesilf  that  Oi  would  take  into  me  humble  home. 
No  one  could  be  holdin'  up  thimsilves  and  their  illigant 
manners  above  me  under  the  shelter  of  me  own  rooftree. 
Oi  say  let  the  gintlefolks  kape  to  thimsilves,  and  not  be 
burdenin'  common  folks  with  their  grand  ways.  Go  back 
among  the  handsome  houses  where  your  lady  face  and 
white  hands  belong  and  will  not  look  so  out  of  place." 

"  Mrs.  Murphy,  I  have  tried  all  day,  and  have  been 
everywhere.  If  you  could  let  me  have  two  rooms,  I 
would  be,  oh,  so  glad.  I  belong  to  the  class  that  must  earn 
their  own  living,  and  would  be  thankful  for  the  accom 
modations  you  could  give  me." 

"  Ye  may  be  laborin'  for  your  bread  and  butter,  but  it 
is  not  to  the  laborin'  class  that  yez  belong.  Ye  would 
look  loike  a  posy  in  a  bed  of  thorns,  and  sonje  big  hulk 
of  a  fellow  would  be  afther  a-pluckin'  you  to  wear  on  the 
lapil  of  his  coat.  It  is  a  sad  accompanimint  that  me 
playin'  on  the  washboard  would  make  to  your  illigant 
music.  And  thin  Murphy  and  mesilf  could  niver  fale  at 
home  and  aisy  loike  to  have  sich  a  grand  thing  as  a 
pianny  in  our  house." 

The  two  women  went  on  expostulating,  as  only  the 
true  daughters  of  Erin  know  how,  against  her  thinking 
of  associating  with  "  the  loikes  of  thim,"  commenting  ex 
travagantly  upon  her  beauty  and  "illigance,"  until,  seeing 
how  futile  would  be  any  further  attempt,  she  took  her 


A    SEARCH    FOR    ROOMS.  139 

leave.  She  was  scarcely  out  of  hearing  when  Mrs. 
O'Grady  changed  her  tone  in  a  way  that  was  suggestive 
of  extensive  cultivation  on  that  particular  scale  in  the 
voice  of  our  friend. 

"  Faith,  and  it's  no  dacint  woman  that  would  have  to 
be  runnin'  about  loike  that  to  foind  a  shilter  for  her  head. 
And  what  are  foine  ways  whin  there  is  no  character  to 
back  them  up  with  ?  And  from  the  tales  that  are  floatin' 
about,  it's  not  a  very  good  name  that  she  has,  nohow  ; 
and  it  came  through  thini  as  should  be  able  to  judge. 
Small  thanks  to  her,  to  come  and  try  to  be  intrudin'  her- 
silf  upon  thim  as  have  nothin'  but  their  good  names  to 
kape  their  heads  above  the  water,  after  she  has  been  re 
fused  at  ivery  other  dacint  place  in  the  town.  But  it  is 
not  mesilf  that  is  to  be  caught  nappin',  me  foine  lady." 

Mary  Grey  had  begun  her  search  with  a  quiet  deter 
mination.  She  felt  that  two  rooms  with  desirable  people 
in  a  quiet  locality  would  be  best  for  her,  no  matter  how 
alluring  the  home  of  her  friend  might  seem.  But  as  she 
wrent  on,  her  resolve  grew  into  desperation.  She  must 
have  a  place  that  she  could  call  her  own.  And  her  re 
peated  failures  only  added  fuel  to  the  flames,  as  she  went 
from  one  to  the  other  of  the  places  which  she  had 
slighted  on  her  first  round ;  and  in  her  eagerness  she 
almost  lost  sight  of  her  friend's  offer  entirely,  and  would 
have  engaged  rooms  among  the  poorest  and  most  lowly 
had  she  only  been  able  to  do  so. 

We  all  know  that  when  we  are  undergoing  some  great 
mental  strain,  even  though  the  fates  seem  against  us  and 
all  seems  dark  and  hopeless,  it  is  well  that  we  fail  in  our 
attempts,  or  else,  when  the  reaction  came,  we  would  be 
led  to  regret  our  ill-made  choice ;  and  many  may  well 
attribute  their  success  in  life  to  a  Providence  which  leads 
them  on,  through  failures  in  small  things,  into  the  voca 
tion  for  which  they  were  peculiarly  fitted. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

THE    SALE. 

THE  tide  of  Mary  Grey's  feelings  had  reached  the 
lowest  ebb ;  then,  as  if  to  verify  the  old  saying  that 
"  the  darkest  hour  comes  just  before  the  dawn,"  the  cloud 
of  despondency  was  suddenly  lifted.  Might  it  not,  after 
all,  be  best  that  she  failed?  What  would  a  home  be 
among  people  who  took  no  interest  in  her,  only  to  mis 
trust  and  watch  her  every  action  ? 

"I  suppose,"  she  thought,  "  this  hard  lesson  was  neces 
sary  to  teach  me  to  appreciate  the  good  things  of  this 
life.  I  should  certainly  be  thankful  that  such  a  home  has 
been  offered  to  me.  How  very  ungrateful  Mrs.  Ferris 
must  think  me,  but  there  will  still  be  time  to  manifest 
my  appreciation.  I  certainly  do  not  lack  in  that.  I  will 
go  to  her  and  if  I  try  hard  enough  I  ought  to  be  able  to 
make  myself  worthy  of  her  kindness." 

This  earnest  resolve  to  do  her  best  proved  a  great  com 
fort  to  her  by  clearing  away  the  small  clouds  of  doubt 
and  fear  from  her  mind.  Her  face  was  a  study  to  her  two 
guests  when  she  reached  home  ;  she  had  not  told  them 
her  mission  when  she  left  in  the  morning,  but  Mrs.  Ferris 
had  been  there  during  her  absence  and  had  laid  the  whole 
matter  before  them  in  all  its  details. 

She  said  :  "  Mrs.  Grey  is  a  woman  who  certainly  has 
my  deepest  sympathy  and  highest  regard.  I  know  that 
she  is  thoroughly  capable  of  taking  care  of  herself,  but 
she  is  still  sorely  in  need  of  a  true  friend — a  role  that  I 
would  gladly  assume  if  she  would  only  give  me  the  right, 
but  she  is  so  independent  in  spirit  and  with  all  so  sensi 
tive  that  one  must  approach  her  with  the  utmost  care  lest 

(  140) 


THE    SALE.  141 

they  repulse  her.  I  think,  with  winter  coming  on  and 
her  limited  means  of  support,  the  best  thing  for  her  to 
do  would  be  to  come  to  us  ;  but  from  the  look  of  deter 
mination  that  she  had  on  her  face  this  morning,  I  know 
that  she  will  leave  no  means  untried  to  find  a  house.  It 
may  be  best  that  she  does  not  know  the  power  of  those 
ill-disposed  people,  but  she  might  spare  herself  much 
pain  and  mortification  by  avoiding  them  if  she  knew 
their  natures.  She  will  not  be  likely  to  confide  her 
troubles  to  you,  but  if  she  should  give  you  an  oppor 
tunity  try  to  influence  her  to  make  her  home  with  us. 
She  would  certainly  be  a  welcome  addition  to  our  house 
hold,  for  she  would  be  both  friend  and  helper." 

The  effect  of  the  kind  lady's  words  was  to  thoroughly 
arouse  the  interest  of  her  brother  and  his  wife ;  not  that 
the  story  contained  anything  strange,  for  in  the  city  the 
brave-hearted  women  who  were  courageously  trying  to 
support  themselves  ( and  many,  some  more  helpless  ones 
who  were  depending  upon  them)  and  protect  their  honor 
were  legion,  and  they  also  knew  that  the  guardian  angels 
of  such  must  redouble  their  vigilance  to  keep  them  under 
their  protecting  wing. 

But  while  Mrs.  Alton  resolved  that  something  must  be 
done  to  place  Mrs.  Grey  beyond  pecuniary  need  and  the 
idle  talk  of  the  town,  the  man  who  had  listened  so 
attentively  to  the  recital  of  her  trials  took  a  view  of  the 
matter  peculiar  to  himself;  not  that  he  had  associated  her 
helplessness  in  any  degree  with  his  own  future,  but  he 
had  seen  many  pure,  high-minded  women,  when  driven 
to  the  wall,  accept  benefactions  from  those  who  wore  a 
thinner  guise  and  had  a  worse  purpose  than  he.  Could 
his  thoughts  have  been  analy/.ed  there  might  have  been 
found  even  a  secret  hope  that  her  proud  spirit  might  be 
driven  to  the  sorest  straits.  But  even  then,  could  he 


142  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

succeed  in  winning  her  confidence  in  such  a  way  that  she 
would  accept  assistance  from  him  ?  He  knew  that  those 
who  are  led  through  their  own  high  sense  of  honor  to 
place  implicit  confidence  in  all  mankind  are  the  ones 
who  will  flee  from  betrayed  confidence  as  from  the  evil 
one  ;  but  after  all,  that  was  the  only  kind  worth  befriend 
ing — and  why  should  he  not  befriend  her  ?  She  certainly 
was  in  need  of  a  protector,  and  the  fact  that  one  woman 
had  a  legal  claim  to  him  need  not  stand  in  the  way. 

"  I  am  rich,  and  am  constantly  called  upon  in  behalf  of 
charitable  purposes.  Would  it  not  be  an  act  of  benevo 
lence  to  keep  one  poor  woman  from  toiling  for  her  bread, 
even  if  she  is  a  young  and  beautiful  one  instead  of  those 
old  and  ugly  ones  in  whose  aid  I  am  solicited  almost 
every  day? " 

Thus  reasoned  the  man  who  had  come  so  bravely  to  the 
front  in  the  defense  of  a  woman  against  her  petty  fem 
inine  antagonists.  His  manly  nature  had  been  aroused 
to  the  height  of  indignation  at  their  dastardly  attempt  to 
crush  her  pride  and  good  name,  but  he  himself  would 
invade  the  fortress  of  her  soul  by  deliberately  depriving 
her  of  her  self-esteem.  He  would  dismiss  conscience 
without  a  hearing,  drag  her  down  from  her  own  high 
standard,  simply  to  cater  to  his  own  vanity  and  conceit. 
And  after  all,  if  he  succeeded  in  bringing  her  down  on  a 
common  level  with  the  rest  of  humanity,  it  would  be 
through  no  fault  of  his,  but  because  she  could  not  with 
stand  the  adversary  of  her  soul,  and  no  question  would 
arise  to  disturb  the  serenity  of  his  mind. 

Thus,  no  matter  how  cunningly  conjtrived  and  gilded 
the  web  may  be,  if  the  unwary  and  innocent  fly  can  be 
lured  into  its  meshes,  the  lordly  spider  has  the  undisputed 
right  to  keep  it  a  helpless  prisoner  in  his  toils,  and  then, 
when  wearied  by  its  struggling  and  futile  attempts  to 
extricate  itself,  crush  it  to  the  death. 


Tine    SALE.  143 

Fred.  Alton  covertly  watched  the  face  of  their  hostess. 
vShe  looked  so  cheerful  and  bright.  This  to  most  onlook 
ers  would  have  seemed  an  unmistakable  sign  of  success, 
but  he  was  not  so  certain.  Mis-unbounded  opinion  of  his 
insight  of  woman's  nature  had  undergone  a  great  change 
in  the  last  week.  There  was,  after  all,  more  in  a  woman 
than  that  which  lay  on  the  surface  (or  at  least  with  sqme), 
if  that  one  is  like  an  open  book  with  large  print.  "  I  used 
to  look  upon  that  as  the  greatest  charm  that  the  sex  is  in 
possession  of." 

He  studied  her  simply  for  the  interest  that  it  afforded 
him,  and  not  that  it  made  any  material  difference  to  him  if 
she  went  to  the  house  of  his  sister  or  to  rooms  of  her  own. 
In  case  she  went  to  the  former  he  would  have  an  earlier 
opportunity  to  win  his  way  into  her  good  graces,  while  in 
the  latter  case  she  would  the  sooner  lose  that  wondi-rful 
self-confidence  and  consequently  be  more  like  the  rest  of 
her  sex. 

She  gave  them  no  opportunity  to  influence  her,  and  it 
was  from  Mrs.  Ferris  that  they  heard,  a  few  days  later, 
that  she  was  still  to  be  sheltered  under  the  same  root 
with  themselves.  She  remained  at  the  cottage  only  long 
enough  after  their  departure  to  make  her  final  arrange 
ments  for  this,  to  her,  great  change. 

"  I  will  not  burden  you  or  encumber  your  house  with 
unnecessary  articles  of  furniture,"  she  said  to  her  friend, 
"  but  will  sell  everything.  Since  I  am  forced  to  give  up 
the  old  life,  I  might  as  well  resign  myself  to  an  entire 
change." 

So  if  her  still  bleeding  heart  was  wrung  almost  beyond 
endurance  when  the  day  for  the  private  sale  arrived,  she 
made  no  sign,  and  the  set  look  on  her  face  was  attributed 
to  stolid  indifference,  as  one  after  the  other  ol  the  articles 
that  had  been  so  closclv  associated  with  her  husband  as 


144  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

to  almost  seem  to  speak  to  her  of  him  were  brought  out 
for  the  inspection  of  the  idle  crowd. 

Many  had  come  without  so  much  as  a  thought  of  buy 
ing  ;  others  with  a  vigilant  and  wide-awake  eye  to  clutch 
at  the  opportunity  to  buy  such  things  as  might  be  under 
sold.  With  such  characters,  as  is  usually  the  case,  the 
sale  abounded.  They  stood  just  outside  of  the  bidding 
ring,  with  an  assumed  air  of  indifference.  Oh,  no ;  they 
did  not  care  to  bid  on  that  article — they  really  could  make 
no  use  of  it  if  they  had  it !  But  at  the  same  time  their 
sense  of  gain  was  keenly  on  the  alert,  and  when  the  bids, 
which  had  started  so  briskly  at  the  outset,  were  beginning 
to  lag,  and  the  article  was  just  about  to  go  to  the  highest 
bidder,  and  the  crier  would  hold  his  hammer  for  a  moment 
suspended  in  the  air  preparatory  to  bringing  it  down, 
they  would  with  a  sudden  thrust  add  a  nickel,  and  some 
times  even  as  much  as  a  dime,  and  then  unexpected  to 
everybody  but  themselves  were  in  proud  possession  of 
something  which,  according  to  their  verdict,  was  worth 
twice  the  amount  which  they  had  given  for  it  and  just 
the  thing  they  wanted. 

The  once  proud  and  happy  woman  watched  until  the 
last  piece  of  furniture  had  been  removed  from  the  prem 
ises  and  the  crowd  of  buyers  and  non-buyers  had  left, 
but  not  without  many  side  glances,  gesticulations,  and 
remarks.  Then  she  turned  to  her  friends  with  a  sad, 
sweet  smile,  saying:  "There  goes  the  last  thing  that  I 
had  which  would  have  reminded  me  of  the  old  life.  It 
was  much  harder  than  any  of  you  know  to  part  with 
them,  but  since  I  can  not  recall  my  husband  to  share 
them  with  me,  I  thought  it  best  (no  matter  what  the  sac 
rifice  might  prove  to  be)  to  part  with  all  that  might  keep 
the  happy  past,  beside  which  the  uncertain  future  would 
prove  such  a  painful  contrast  before  my  eyes." 


THK    SAI.K.  145 

She  then  gave  orders  to  the  drayman  to  have  her  per 
sonal  effects  transferred  to  the  home  of  her  friend,  or  in 
other  words  her  own  future  home  ( but  for  how  long  no 
one  was  able  to  foresee),  and  then,  without  so  much  as  a 
glance  at  the  empty  cottage,  walked  with  the  rest  toward 
the  Ferris  residence.  They  did  not  attempt  to  break  in 
upon  her  thoughts,  but  allowed  her  to  walk  along  undis 
turbed  by  their  side. 

But  one  pair  of  eyes  had  been  upon  her  all  day,  and 
wrere  still  watching  her.  Not  a  look  of  pain  had  crossed 
her  face  unobserved  by  him.  He  marveled  at  the  brave 
look  on  her  sad  face.  "  Most  women  would  have  shed 
oceans  of  tears,"  was  his  mental  observation,  "  and  would 
have  spoiled  their  bright  eyes  for  days  to  come,"  (and  his 
eyes  were  drawn  involuntarily  toward  the  face  of  his 
wife)  "  and  if  for  no  other  reason  than  that  it  was  expected 
of  them  and  their  duty  to  their  departed.  It  is  more 
satisfactory  than  I  know  to  see  that  they  are  not  all  so 
weak." 


CHAPTER  XV. 

MRS.  GREY  RECEIVES  AN  ANSWER  TO  HER  LETTER. 

ARY  GREY  was  unconscious  of  the  close  scrutiny 
that  she  was  undergoing,  but  was  busy  with  her 
own  sad  thoughts  instead.  Today  reminded  her  of  a 
similar  experience  through  which  she  had  passed  some 
ten  years  before,  when  she  had  sold  the  household  effects 
that  had  been  used  by  her  parents  during  their  happy 
married  life.  Her  cup  of  sorrow  had  indeed  been  full 
and  had  seemed  more  than  she  could  bear ;  but  what  are 
the  passionate  griefs  and  loves  of  youth  compared  to  the 
deeper  sorrows  and  riper  affections  of  maturer  years? 
The  sorrows  of  the  last  few  months  had  burned  them 
selves  into  her  soul,  and  the  memory  of  this  day,  with  a 
few  others,  would  remain  pictured  in  her  heart  with  all 
its  keenness. 

The  first  few  days  after  our  heroine  had  been  estab 
lished  in  her  new  quarters  her  friends  left  her  much  to 
herself.  The  excitement  had  been  hard  on  her,  even 
though  she  made  every  attempt  to  conceal  its  effects. 
She  went  aimlessly  about,  but  on  the  third  day  her 
languor  disappeared,  and  her  usual  health  and  spirits 
returned.  She  received  an  answer  to  the  letter  which 
she  had  written  to  Colonel  Wilkins  about  two  weeks 
before.  Her  letter  had  been  mislaid,  and  had  only 
reached  the  Colonel  a  few  days  before.  He  wrote  that 
he  would  be  pleased  to  secure  a  good  music  teacher  for 
his  boys,  they,  however,  were  partial  to  their  own  instru 
ment,  and  he  would  prefer  to  have  them  receive  their 
lessons  at  home. 

"But  that  need  not  interfere  with  our  securing  your 
(146) 


MRS.  GRKY  RECKIVEvS  AN  ANSWER  TO  HER  LETTER.     147 

services,"  he  went  on.  "  My  horses  are  growing  fat  in 
the  stables,  too  fat  for  use,  just  for  lack  of  exercise. 
They  with  the  carriage  would  be  at  your  disposal.  I 
have  no  doubt  of  your  ability  to  please  us,  for  I  have 
heard  of  you.  I  will  call  on  you  at  your  convenience, 
and  if  we  can  come  to  an  agreement  my  sons  can  fetch 
you  and  take  you  back  ;  an  arrangement  that  can  not 
fail  to  meet  your  approval  after  you  have  once  seen  the 
country  over  which  you  will  pass.  We  think  there  is 
none  more  beautiful." 

The  recipient  of  the  letter  did  not  know  that  the 
Ferrises  and  Colonel  \Vilkins  were  old  friends  and  that 
it  was  Mr.  Ferris  who  had  recommended  her  as  a  teacher, 
and  that  the  kindness  shown  in  the  letter  of  the  country 
gentleman  was  due  as  much  to  his  influence  as  to  the 
noble  spirit  of  the  writer.  Her  letter  had  reached  him 
just  a  few  days  after  the  two  men  had  had  their  conver 
sation. 

After  she  herself  had  glanced  her  letter  over,  she  gave 
it  to  Mrs.  Ferris  to  read.  "  I  am  very  glad,"  said  that 
lady.  "  that  you  have  met  with  such  good  fortune.  They 
are  excellent  people.  Our  families  have  been  friends  for 
years — since  long  before  Mrs.  Wilkins'  death.  A  little 
forethought  might  have  secured  the  sons  for  you  as  pupils 
some  time  ago.  Miss  Kccluir,  the  Colonel's  sister,  is  a 
noble  woman.  She  has  never  been  married,  but  instead 
of  being  soured  and  prudish  and  having  the  qualities 
usually  attributed  to  single  women,  she  is  sweet  and  lov 
able  and  just  such  a  lady  as  is  good  for  any  one  to  know. 
How  fortunate  that  they  do  prefer  their  own  instrument. 
A  drive  to  the  country  once  a  week  will  do  you  more  good 
than  anything  else  that  your  best  friends  could  suggest 
or  the  most  skillful  physician  could  prescribe.  I  am  so 
glad  for  you.  I  am  looking  forward  to  a  pleasant  winter 


148  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

for  us  all.  You  will  then  have  five  pupils,  and  will  be 
able  to  lay  something  away  for  future  use.  If  I  were  in 
your  place,  I  would  content  myself  with  those  and  not 
try  to  get  any  more  this  winter." 

"  Oh,  no,  Mrs.  Ferris ;  I  will  only  have  four.  Do  not 
think  for  a  moment  that  I  will  accept  pay  for  your 
daughter's  lessons.  You  know  that  would  only  be  mak 
ing  matters  worse  for  me  ;  even  if  I  exert  all  my  powers 
I  can  hardly  repay  you  for  your  kindness,  and  you  know 
that  it  is  a  greater  trial  for  some  to  realize  that  they  are 
not  earning  what  they  receive  than  it  is  for  others  to 
know  that  they  do  not  get  what  they  deserve.  Now  you 
would  not  want  me  to  exercise  my  mind  night  and  day 
to  contrive  a  way  to  make  myself  worthy  of  what  I  am 
receiving  at  your  hands."  And  she  looked  up  at  her 
friend  with  an  arch  smile. 

"  Well,"  said  that  lad}-,  with  an  answering  smile,  "  you 
do  put  things  in  an  odd  way.  I  do  not  pretend  to  under 
stand  your  way  of  reasoning ;  but  you  had  better  not 
form  your  conclusions  too  rapidly,  or  before  you  get 
through  you  may  think  that  you  belong  to  the  kind  that 
do  not  get  what  they  earn.  You  have  only  been  here 
such  a  short  time  that  you  do  not  know  how  exacting 
and  tyranical  I  can  be.  But  we  will  wait  and  see  about 
the  pay."  And  she  gave  a  look  of  tender  and  motherly 
patronage  to  the  face  that  was  so  innocent  and  girlish, 
yet  so  earnest  and  thoughtful,  and  then  went  on  :  "  You 
may  even  join  the  ranks  of  the  dissatisfied  wage-workers 
before  we  are  together  long.  It  is  said  that  people 
know  little  or  nothing  about  each  other  unless  they  live 
together.  We  are  doing  that  now,  and  according  to  the 
adage  will  have  an  opportunity  to  find  each  other  out, 
to  make  wonderful  discoveries  in  each  other's  natures." 

"  Well,"  said  Mary  Grey,  laughing,  "  if  that  is  the  only 


MRS.  GRKY  KHCKIVKS  AX  AXSWKR  TO  IIKR  I.HTTKR.     149 

possible  way  for  two  to  find  each  other  out,  people  do 
indeed  make  a  leap  in  the  dark  when  they  marry,  and  we 
should  not  be  too  severe  in  our  judgment  of  those  who 
fail  to  agree.  Since  there  is  a  way  provided  for  me  to 
reach  Colonel  Wilkins',"  she  said,  resuming  her  subject, 
"  I  am  also  glad  that  they  prefer  taking  their  lessons  at 
home,  for  since  my  piano  went  with  the  rest  of  the 
household  goods  I  can  only  take  such  pupils  as  have  their 
own  instruments.  Sometimes  I  almost  wish  that  I  had 
kept  mine,  but  I  did  not  care  to  encumber  your  house 
with  it,  since  you  have  one." 

"  Had  I  known  that  you  especially  cared  for  yours  you 
should  not  have  sold  it.  I  would  gladly  have  made  room 
for  it;  but,  as  you  say,  there  is  one  here,  and  it  is  at  your 
service  the  same  as  if  it  were  your  own,  and  if  any  of 
your  pupils  care  to  come  here  to  take  their  lessons  you  are 
at  perfect  liberty  to  have  them  do  so,"  said  Mrs.  Ferris. 

"  I  have  none  such  now,  but  I  thank  you  heartily  for 
your  kind  offer,"  was  Mary  Grey's  answer. 

"  Colonel  Wilkins  speaks  in  his  letter  of  meeting  you 
at  your  own  convenience;  that  would  necessitate  another 
letter.  He  and  his  sister  come  for  a  drive  almost  every 
week.  The  huh"  makes  her  stopping  place  here  while 
in  town.  Then  he  comes  for  her  when  he  is  ready  to  go 
home.  They  usually  come  on  Thursday,  so  we  can  expect 
them  today.  You  can  talk  to  them,  and,  if  you  suit  each 
other  and  can  come  to  an  understanding,  there  need  be 
no  further  trouble,"  said  the  kind  lady,  thoughtfully. 

"  I  think  that  1  am  as  near  happy  as  I  will  ever  be 
again.  I  certainly  have  much  to  be  thankful  for,"  thought 
the  appreciative  little  woman.  "  I  will  have  work  enough 
to  save  something;  I  will  have  a  pleasant  home,  and  they 
are  all  so  kind  to  me.  Mrs.  Ferris  is  almost  like  a  mother, 
while  her  daughter  and  Mrs.  Alton  are  kindness  itself.  As 


150  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

for  the  men,  I  don't  see  how  they  could  possibly  show  me 
more  courtesy.  I  never  had  a  brother,  but  if  I  had  he 
could  not  be  more  watchful  of  my  comfort  than  Mr.  Alton 
is.  He  certainly  must  be  a  kind-hearted  man,  judging 
from  the  way  that  he  takes  care  of  his  wife.  How  fortunate 
she  is  to  have  such  a  husband,  since  she  has  no  existence 
apart  from  him.  Robert  was  just  as  kind  to  me,  but  I 
did  not  need  the  petting  and  attention  that  she  does.  I 
was  always  well ;  I  never  had  a  day's  sickness  in  my 
whole  life.  I  am  so  glad,  because  a  busy  man  like  my 
husband  should  never  be  burdened  with  a  puny  wife.  I 
am  so  glad  that  I  was  always  strong  enough  to  share  his 
duties  instead  of  adding  to  his  cares ;  but  I  am  also  glad 
that  there  are  some  men  who  have  the  time  and  means 
to  take  care  of  the  helpless,  clinging  women,  for  the 
world  seems  full  of  them." 

With  her  limited  knowledge  of  the  ways  of  men  and 
her  lack  of  opportunity  to  study  their  natures,  she  did 
not  know  that  providence  had  been  scant  in  its  distribu 
tion  of  patience  among  their  sex  and  that  none  of  them 
had  been  endowed  with  any  extraordinary  degree  of  that 
virtue,  and  that  sooner  or  later  the  chains  which  make 
them  willing  slaves  for  a  time  to  puny  and  exacting  wives 
(even  though  the  links  be  golden)  will  corrode  and 
become  tiresome ;  and  that  even  now  the  very  man  in 
question  was  beginning  to  hold  up  the  woman  whom  he 
had  helped  to  encourage  into  utter  helplessness  by  his 
lavish  attentions  before  his  critical  view,  and  that,  no 
matter  if  he  was  partially  to  blame,  her  constant  demand 
for  his  attention  was  growing  just  a  little  irksome.  She 
did  not  know  that  the  beautiful,  willowy  form  of  the  wife 
was  held  in  disparaging  contrast  to  her  own  well-rounded 
figure,  and  that  the  husband  was  thinking  daily,  "  How 
different  would  be  my  journey  through  this  life,  in  which 


MRS.  GREY  RKCKIVKS  AX  ANSWER  TO  HER  LETTER.     151 

I  have  so  far  been  called  upon  to  exercise  the  strength 
and  mind  for  two,  had  I  chosen  for  a  traveling  companion 
a  sturdy  little  partner  who  would  walk  courageously  by 
my  side,  and  even  lend  to  me  a  helping  hand  if  the  occa 
sion  required  it ;  and  the  fact  that  she  might  not  be  so 
demonstrative  and  lavish  with  her  affections  would  cause 
the  interest  to  be  all  the  more  lasting." 

Since  it  is  human  to  err,  and  the  best  of  us  sometimes 
surprise  ourselves  with  thoughts  that  are  not  in  strict 
accordance  with  right  and  would  only  bring  pain  some 
times  to  our  dearest  friends  were  they  known,  it  may  be 
well  that  there  is  a  secret  chamber  to  our  natures  and 
that  we  have  the  power  to  conceal  our  unworthy  reflec 
tions  from  human  eyes.  At  least,  were  it  not  so,  there 
would  be  such  revelations  daily  and  hourly  as  would 
flood  this  earth  with  unavailing  tears,  and  many  a  loyal 
heart  might  well  pray  to  be  spared  the  painful  disclosures. 

Had  Mary  Grey  ever  been  led  to  compare  herself  with 
Mrs.  Alton,  it  would  have  been  in  a  way  disparaging  to 
herself.  How  commonplace  she  felt  beside  that  beautiful 
woman.  So,  all  unconscious  of  the  influence  she  was 
wielding,  she  went  about  her  duties  with  a  degree  of 
cheerfulness. 

When  Colonel  Wilkins  and  his  sister  came,  true  to  the 
expectations  of  Mrs.  Ferris,  she  was  as  pleased  with  them 
as  they  were  with  her.  The  business  part  of  the  meeting 
between  the  three  people  was  soon  disposed  of.  They 
were  to  come  for  her  once  a  week  and  take  her  to  their 
country  home.  She  was  to  receive  the  highest  price  paid 
for  such  services,  but  she  would  be  required  to  give  them 
a  whole  day  of  her  time  as  often  as  possible.  They  said 
that  they  were  fond  of  music,  and  would  demand  that  as 
apart  of  the  return  for  the  salary  that  she  was  to  receive, 
and  would  take  no  denial.  They  would  come  for  her  in 
the  morning  and  bring  her  back  in  the  evening. 


152  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

The  keen-witted  woman  was  not  deceived  by  this  ruse. 
She  knew  that  the  arrangement  had  been  planed  by  Mrs. 
Ferris  with  her  happiness  in  view,  and  her  heart  swelled 
with  thankfulness.  She  felt  that  she  had  more  real  friends 
than  she  could  ever  claim  at  any  one  time  in  her  life  be 
fore,  and  she  felt  that  they  would  be  true  friends,  too,  as 
long  as  she  would  prove  herself  worthy  of  their  esteem. 

The  two  people  left,  promising  to  come  for  her  on  the 
following  Tuesday.  This  was  Thursday.  She  was  sur 
prised  to  find  herself  looking  forward  with  a  childish  de 
light  to  the  drive  in  the  country  —  the  dear  old  country. 
She  had  seen  very  little  of  it  since  the  death  of  her 
parents.  Her  life  had  been  so  busy  since  then  that  she 
had  had  little  or  no  time  for  pleasure.  All  those  things 
which  are  necessary  to  most  people's  enjoyment  had  been 
denied  her,  and  she  had  had  no  recreation  during  the 
three  years  of  her  married  life.  But  the  earnest  discharge 
of  her  duties  had  been  a  source  of  true  happiness,  and 
she  had  been  more  than  satisfied. 

Indeed  to  her  the  woman  who  must  necessarily  seek 
outside  of  her  own  home  for  enjoyment  seemed  an  object 
of  the  deepest  solicitude.  She  must  surely  have  mistaken 
her  own  heart  in  choosing,  if  her  happiness  depended  in 
the  slightest  degree  upon  others  or  their  society.  Noth 
ing  but  necessity  or  duty  ever  tempted  her  from  her 
home  or  the  side  of  her  husband,  and  now  she  wondered 
that  even  that  sometimes  had  the  power. 

But  the  source  of  her  happiness  lay  far  away  in  the 
quiet  church-yard  on  the  slope  of  the  hill,  and  she  must 
be  content  for  the  rest  of  her  life  with  minor  joys.  She 
must  smile  and  seem  glad,  as  is  the  case  with  thousands, 
a  countless  number  who  we  meet  daily  and  in  every  walk 
of  life,  and  it  is  only  a  wonder  that  so  many  are  able  to 
carry  out  their  part  to  the  end.  But  the  most  skillful 


MRS.  GREY  RECKIVES  AX  ANSWER  TO  HER  LETTER.    153 

acting  has  never  been  \vitnessecl  from  behind  gilded  foot 
lights,  nor  has  it  been  produced  in  answer  to  the  most 
persistent  encore,  but  instead  we  are  invariably  the  un 
conscious  witnesses  of  such  deep-wrought  playing  upon 
the  stage  of  life  as  would  try  the  ingenuity  of  a  Garrick 
or  a  Quin,  and  could  the  lives  of  man}-  be  produced  in  a 
panoramic  vision  before  them,  they  would  be  surprised  at 
their  own  power. 

The  pain  and  humiliation  in  the  mind  and  heart  of 
Mary  Grey  had  begun  to  lose  their  keenness.  She  was 
conscious  of  furtive  glances  that  were  cast  upon  her  from 
all  sides,  but  she  felt  that  sheltered  as  she  was,  under  the 
protecting  care  of  her  friends,  their  conduct  toward  her 
could  do  no  harm.  "Oh,  why  and  how  did  I  occasion 
their  ill  will?  Surely  if  I  pay  no  heed  to  their  thought 
lessness,  treat  them  as  before  when  I  meet  them,  and  live 
my  own  quiet  life  without  interfering  with  any  of  them, 
they  will,  if  not  relent,  at  least  become  so  far  indifferent 
as  to  make  no  more  attacks  upon  my  character  and  good 
name." 

Was  she  correct  in  her  conclusions  ?     We  will  see. 


CHAPTER  XVI. 
TOMMY'S  TRIALS. 

ONLY  those  who  have  been  boys  themselves,  been 
in  boys'  scrapes,  and  had  boys'  consciences  to  con 
tend  with,  and  in  the  end  had  boys'  punishment  meted 
out  to  them,  know  the  mingled  remorse  and  boyish  anger 
that  had  been  filling  the  heart  and  brain  of  Tommy  Green 
since  we  parted  with  him  on  the  back  alley  fence,  watch 
ing  the  grievance  committee  wending  their  solemn  way 
on  their  important  visit  to  Mrs.  Grey.  He  had  taken 
great  satisfaction  in  seeing  them  depart.  He  knew  that 
this  was  a  matter  of  no  ordinary  importance,  even  to 
people  who  were  as  accustomed  as  they  to  making  the 
small  doings  of  their  neighbors  their  own  personal  affairs. 
He  could  not  foresee  just  what  the  outcome  of  the  visit 
would  be.  If  he  could  only  turn  himself  into  a  mouse 
or  a  cricket,  or  he  would  not  object  to  exchanging  forms 
with  a  flea  for  a  short  time,  if  he  could  only  hide  in 
some  convenient  fold  of  their  garments  and  witness  the 
call  which  he  knew  would  prove  so  disastrous  to  these 
women's  good  and  exalted  opinion  of  themselves,  for  one 
short  while  at  least. 

"Cracky!  I  would  rather  lay  in  a  whole  nest  of  fleas, 
and  have  a  whole  hive  of  mosquitoes  with  a  band  at 
their  head  to  keep  time  for  the  Quickstep  of  the  Fleas 
about  my  ears,  than  to  be  in  them  two  women's  and  that 
girl's  "  ( he  made  a  grimace  when  he  came  to  girl — "  She's 
a  lovely  girl !  ")  "  shoes  for  the  next  half  hour.  But  it  will 
serve  them  right !  If  I  had  planned  the  whole  scrape  for 
Sis,  I  couldn't  have  done  it  to  suit  me  any  better.  Well, 
this  is  just  game  !  "  And  he  threw  his  hat  into  the  air 

(154) 


TOMMYS   TRIALS.  155 

as  he  hopped  clown  from  the  fence,  after  watching  them 
until  they  had  turned  the  corner  and  were  out  of  sight. 

It  was  too  good  to  keep  to  himself  any  longer.  He 
would  just  explode  if  he  did  not  tell  it  to  some  one. 
But  it  was  too  important  to  tell  before  the  whole  crowd  ; 
he  would  only  tell  it  to  his  dearest  chum.  So  that  favored 
personage  was  led  off  to  the  mow  or  other  equally  secret 
place,  while  the  less  highly  privileged  crowd  was  left  to 
cast  envious  eyes  after  them,  until  one  of  them  happened 
to  think  of  something  he  knew.  Oh,  yes  ;  it  was  just  as 
good  and  a  great  deal  better.  So  they  went  off  together 
in  search  of  a  suitable  place  (  since  they  had  been  barred 
out  of  their  common  rendezvous )  to  make  and  Jiear  the 
disclosure,  which  was  a  weight}'  matter,  indeed. 

Meanwhile  Tommy  was  regaling  the  ears  of  his  hearer 
with  what  he  had  heard  under  the  parlor  window  the 
night  before  his  visit  to  Mrs.  Grey's.  "You  know  I  had 
promised  her,  and  I  wanted  to  get  even  with  Sis,"  he 
said  in  explanation.  Then  he  told  of  the  discovery  he 
had  made,  and  that  his  sister  and  others  had  watched 
Mrs.  Grey's  house,  and  they  had  all  gone  to  an  immense 
amount  of  trouble,  all  for  nothing.  And  now  he  declared 
they  were  putting  on  the  top  sheaf  by  going  over  there. 

"Oh,  won't  they  feel  like  ninnies?  This  will  take  the 
dander  out  of  Sis  for  one  while.  How  I  would  like  to 
throw  it  up  to  her !  Gee  !  but  wouldn't  she  be  mad,  and 
wouldn't  I  catch  it,  though?  But  I  will  try  my  best  to 
hide  it ;  she  will  never  catch  me.  But,"  and  a  look  of 
serious  doubt  came  over  his  boyish  face,  "  what  if  it 
should  leak  out  some  other  way?"  And  he  went  on  in 
a  droll  way,  "  It  were  better  if  a  mill-stone  be  hanged 
about  my  neck  and  I  be  thrown  into — yonder  mud-hole. 
Well,  Sis  would  make  it  hot  for  me,  that's  sure;  but  if 
she  does  she  will  wish  she  hadn't.  If  women  do  think 


156  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

they're  smart,  there's  lots  of  things  we  boys  can  do  to 
pay  them  back  that  is  against  etiquette  and  would  not 
look  genteel  of  them  and  might  spoil  their  chances  to  get 
a  man." 

But  for  a  small  boy  who  finds  himself  in  an  uncertain 
position  with  the  feminine  portion  of  the  family,  a  con 
science  is  a  worse  thing  to  have  than  a  pebble  in  his  shoe 
or  a  thorn  hidden  away  in  his  coat  sleeve  or  trousers  leg. 
So  when  he  was  called  in  to  dinner  he  watched  his  sister's 
face  anxiously,  but,  as  he  supposed,  unknown  to  her. 
But  her  vigilance  was  none  the  less  keen.  She  was  con 
fident  that  he  was  the  culprit ;  but  how  to  prove  it  ?  She 
knew  that  she  must  contrive  to  get  him  to  own  his  guilt, 
for  she  could  never  be  induced  to  go  to  the  only  other 
three  people  who  knew  anything  about  the  matter  for 
proof.  But  how  was  she  to  go  about  it  ?  She  knew  from 
past  experience  that  an  eel  was  nothing  in  comparison, 
for  slipperiness,  to  a  boy  who  was  bending  all  his  energy 
toward  acquiring  that  rare  accomplishment.  She  could 
think  of  no  other  motive  for  his  conduct  only  a  feeling  of 
revenge  and  spite  toward  her.  She  did  not  know  that  it 
was  an  act  of  chivalry  toward  Mrs.  Grey.  He  felt  that 
he  owed  her  some  return  for  her  kind  and  pleasant  man 
ner,  and  repaid  her  according  to  his  boyish  understanding. 
Had  she  understood  him  better,  and  made  some  assertion 
detrimental  to  Mrs.  Grey's  good  name,  character,  or  even 
her  looks,  he  would  have  arisen  in  her  defense  and  might 
have  been  led  to  disclose  himself.  But  boys  never  did 
get  credit  for  their  good  points — something  that  they 
certainly  are  in  possession  of,  even  though  their  faulty 
judgment  sometimes  makes  the  deed  disastrous  to  their 
good  intentions.  So,  through  her  limited  insight  into 
boy's  nature,  she  ignored  the  only  weapon  that  she  had 
in  her  possession,  under  whose  charge  he  would  have 


TOMMY'S  TRIALS.  157 

fallen  an  easy  prey,  and  set  about  studying  other  tactics 
by  which  to  entrap  him.  She  resolved  to  try  kindness. 
If  she  won  his  confidence  he  might  be  led  to  tell  her 
something  through  which  she  might  be  able  to  make  out 
a  clear  case  against  him. 

But  the  boy,  whose  defensive  powers  had  constantly 
been  called  upon  in  his  daily  combats  with  his  sister,  was 
well  versed  in  intrigue  and  warfare.  He  accepted  her 
kindness  and  unusual  attention  with  a  sly  smile.  He 
could  see  by  her  manner  that  she  was  in  possession  of  a 
part  of  the  truth  ;  but  he  had  had  time  to  rally  his  cour 
age  and  confidence  in  himself,  and  he  felt  himself  equal 
to  any  of  her  "  maneuvers,"  as  he  called  them. 

"  Aha,  Miss  Sis,  I  am  onto  that !  You  may  think  your 
self  smart,  but  you  will  never  catch  me  that  way.  I 
know  that  sweetness  is  all  put  on.  That  visit  you  made 
this  morning  would  never  have  turned  you  into  a  sugar- 
pie.  It  would  much  quicker  turn  you  into  vinegar — or  a 
crab  apple,  I  should  say,  for  all  vinegar  is  made  out  of 
something  sweet  in  the  start,  so  of  course  you  would 
never  make  any  of  that  valuable  article.  But  you  do 
pretty  well  to  help  others  to  reach  the  biting  point. 
Mother  don't  know  what  made  that  last  barrel  turn  sour 
so  quick.  I  heard  some  women  as  ought  to  know  say 
that  a  good  receipt  to  make  vinegar  over  was  to  write  the 
names  of  three  sour-looking  women  on  a  piece  of  cat 
paper  and  drop  it  into  it  while  it  was  undergoing  fer 
mentation.  I  knew  that  one  sour  old  maid  as  was  not 
satisfied  with  her  condition  was  equal  to  two  women,  so 
I  scratched  off  her  name  in  big  letters  on  a  slip  of  brown 
sugar  paper  and  dropped  her  in.  I  never  told  them, 
because  it's  best  for  boys  to  keep  some  things  to  them 
selves,  if  they  do  turn  out  well. 

"  I  wont  act  as  if  I  thought  of  a  thing,  but  had  forgot- 


158  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

ten  everything,  and  would  be  ever  so  easy  to  catch.  As 
long  as  she  baits  her  trap  with  good  things,  I  will  take 
all  she  gives  me  and  act  all  the  time  as  if  it  would  just 
take  a  little  more  to  make  sure  of  me.  But  I  am  on  to 
your  scheme.  You  will  never  catch  me  that  way,"  and 
he  gave  a  comical  pat  to  his  stomach,  which  was  even 
now  exulting  in  an  extra  piece  of  custard  pie.  He  could 
hold  out  a  long  while  on  custards. 

When  he  got  out  of  his  sister's  sight  he  threw  his  hat 
into  the  air,  turned  a  double  handspring  and  went  off  to 
tell  his  chum  how  he  was  living  on  the  fat  of  the  land, 
and  that  if  he  was  sure  things  would  always  turn  out  to 
his  taste  like  this,  and  that  he  could  keep  his  sister  in 
hot  water,  he  would  not  mind  being  in  a  little  danger 
himself. 

But  as  days  went  on,  the  woman  who  was  tingling  for 
revenge  was  tiring  of  her  plan  with  her  wary  little  broth 
er.  Even  if  she  could  succeed  in  the  end  it  was  becom 
ing  expensive.  The  calls  upon  her  purse-strings  were 
becoming  too  frequent,  and  the  nickles  and  dimes  that 
had  gone  for  marbles,  and  butterscotch,  and  what  not, 
had  been  not  a  few,  to  say  nothing  of  the  taffy  that  she 
had  been  called  upon  to  serve  to  the  whole  crowd,  for  the 
youngsters,  knowing  that  it  was  only  temporary,  had 
been  making  hay  while  the  sun  shone.  And  now  he 
wanted  enough  money  to  go  to  the  circus  himself,  and 
some  to  help  his  chum,  who  did  not  have  quite  enough. 
It  was  wonderful  what  a  close  intimacy  had  sprung  up 
between  those  two  boys  lately.  This  was  to  be  the  last 
show  of  the  season,  and  the  boy  who  did  not  get  to  go 
had  better  never  been  born  into  this  world  of  disappoint 
ments. 

Tommy  was  a  little  surprised  when  his  sister  promised 
him  the  necessary  amount.  With  a  keen  intuition  pecu- 


TOMMY'S  TRIALS.  159 

liar  to  boys,  he  was  beginning  to  see  that  his  good  times 
were  fast  coming  to  an  end.  It  was  still  three  days  until 
the  show.  He  would  much  rather  have  the  money  now, 
but  since  he  had  hinted  so  much  repeatedly,  and  had  been 
put  off  every  time,  he  would  have  to  be  content  with  the 
promise,  unstable  as  he  began  to  think  it. 

She  told  him  that  she  would  not  give  it  to  him  now  for 
fear  he  would  spend  it  for  something  else,  and  that  it 
would  be  too  bad  for  him  to  miss  the  show,  since  all  the 
boys  were  going  and  this  was  to  be  the  last  one.  She 
showed  him  the  money,  but  said  she  would  take  care  of 
it  until  the  time  came.  This  reassured  him  somewhat, 
and  he  looked  forward,  as  only  a  boy  knows  how,  to  the 
coming  day — the  day  of  wonderful  sights  and  heartfelt 
delights  to  the  hearts  of  youth. 

It  was  now  the  sister's  turn  to  smile,  if  such  a  thing 
were  possible  in  her  frame  of  mind.  She  had  overheard 
Tommy  say  that  he  was  working  Sis  for  all  there  was  in 
it.  It  made  her  stamp  her  foot  in  anger  to  know  that 
she  had  not  only  been  worsted,  but  that  the  little  sly 
antagonist  had  been  laughing  at  her  all  the  time.  But  she 
had  laid  her  plans  ;  she  would  have  revenge,  yes  double 
revenge.  She  would  assume  the  same  role  that  he  had 
been  playing  lately,  that  of  innocence.  She  would  act 
toward  him  as  before,  promise  him  the  money,  then  when 
the  time  came  she  would  see.  He  should  not  go  if  she 
had  to  tie  him  hands  and  feet.  Her  promise  would  keep 
him  from  trying  to  earn  the  money  for  himself.  She  had 
talked  to  the  rest  of  the  family  until  she  knew  that  his 
appeal  to  them  would  be  useless.  And  even  if  he  should 
get  the  means  from  some  other  source,  there  were  more 
ways  than  one  to  keep  him  at  home.  She  knew  that  to 
miss  this  great  event  would  break  the  boy's  heart  and 
spoil  his  enjoyment  for  days  and  -weeks  to  come,  but  that 


160  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

was  exactly  what  she  was  waiting  for.  She  wanted  to 
strike  a  blow  where  it  would  reach  a  vital  point ;  she 
wanted  to  get  even  with  him  and  at  the  .'-ame  time  teach 
him  a  lesson  that  he  would  not  soon  forget. 

The  evening  before  the  day,  which  according  to  the 
posters  was  to  display  all  that  this  world  contained  that 
was  worth  seeing  in  one  great  parade,  and  afterward 
deposit  them  under  one  great  tent  for  the  closer  inspec 
tion  of  the  lucky  town,  had  arrived,  and  Tommy  had 
gone  to  bed,  when  the  lateness  of  the  hour  compelled 
even  boys  who  were  to  see  a  circus  on  the  next  day  to  do 
so,  with  a  happy  heart. 

His  sister  had  changed  her  plan  of  proceduie,  and  had 
given  him  the  money,  and,  after  he  had  carried  the  good 
news  to  the  sharer  of  all  his  good  fortune  of  the  last  few 
days,  he  went  to  his  room,  and  making  sure  for  the 
hundredth  time  that  the  money  would  be  sufficient,  and 
that  it  was  safe  in  his  trouser's  pocket,  he  went  to  bed, 
but  not  before  he  had  tried  to  lock  the  door.  But  his 
sister  had  been  before  him  in  this  little  matter,  and  al 
though  the  key  was  there  the  spring  refused  to  perform 
its  accustomed  part :  and  since  there  was  not  an  article  of 
furniture  in  the  room  that  could  be  moved  against  the 
door,  he  had  to  content  himself  by  resolving  not  to  sleep 
very  soundly.  He  would  not  dare  to  do  that  any  way,  or 
he  might  not  get  awake  as  early  as  he  would  like  to ;  for 
how  would  a  town  ever  be  gotten  in  readiness  in  time 
for  a  circus  parade  if  the  boys  were  not  all  up  in  time  to 
see  to  things? 

But  Tommy,  in  spite  of  his  resolutions  and  the  wonders 
that  were  in  store  for  him,  was  soon  sound  asleep,  dream 
ing  no  doubt  that  his  father  had  bought  him  one  of  those 
ponies  that  were  running  such  wonderful  races  on  the 
side  of  every  convenient  shed  for  miles  about  town,  or 


TOMMY'S  TRIALS.  161 

even  a  pair  of  them,  or  his  dreams  might  even  have 
transformed  him  into  the  proprietor  of  the  whole  wonder 
ful  exhibition. 

But,  alas,  that  our  dreams  should  sometimes  come  to 
an  end.  When  Tommy  awoke,  just  as  the  first  faint 
streaks  of  dawn  were  brightening  the  eastern  horizon, 
the  show  was  still  a  thing  of  the  future,  no  matter  if  it 
was  near.  But  there  would  only  be  a  few  more  hours. 
Yes,  they  would  soon  be  here.  Why  they  must  be  here 
now.  He  could  not  mistake  that  sound  of  confusion  ; 
the  sound  of  command  and  of  hurrying  to  and  fro,  and 
the  many  things  that  were  necessary  in  the  preparation 
for  so  great  an  event. 

The  first  sound  that  reached  his  ear  had  an  electrifying 
effect  upon  every  fiber  of  his  being,  and  he  was  out  of 
he'd  in  what  would  be  called  quick  time  even  for  boys  on 
show  days.  He  made  a  grab  at  the  bedpost,  where  he 
had  hung  his  pantaloons,  but  there  was  nothing  there. 
He  felt  around  on  the  floor,  where  they  might  have  fallen. 
They  were  not  there.  He  struck  a  match.  There  on  the 
table  lay  the  silver  half-dollar  that  his  sister  had  given 
him — but  where  were  his  trousers?  Then  an  idea  dawned 
upon  him  that  struck  consternation  to  his  heart!  He 
Hew  to  the  closet  where  he  kept  the  rest  of  his  wardrobe. 
The  shelves  and  hooks  were  bare  ;  all  his  clothes  had 
been  taken  away  while  he  was  asleep !  He  could  not 
even  as  much  as  leave  his  room,  much  less  go  on  the 
street  or  to  the  show.  The  door  was  open,  but  he  was 
as  much  a  prisoner  as  he  could  possibly  have  been  under 
the  combined  strength  of  a  do/.en  locks  and  keys.  He 
knew  that  lie  was  caught,  and  he  knew  by  whom.  His 
whole  trouble  had  lain  in  the  fear  that  she  would  not 
give  him  the  promised  money,  but  he  had  expected 
nothing  of  this  kind. 


1 62  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

There  lay  the  money  to  add  to  his  distress.  His  father 
and  mother  had  been  called  from  town  the  evening 
before,  and  his  sister's  power  over  the  rest  of  the  family 
was  such  that  he  knew  his  doom  to  be  sealed.  He  must 
stay  in  his  room  all  day  and  hear  the  distant  sound  of 
boys'  voices,  the  band,  and  many  other  things  peculiar  to 
such  days,  and  be  shut  off  from  every  bit  of  it.  Had 
ever  such  punishment  been  meted  out  to  a  refractory  lad  ? 
Had  all  the  forces  of  retribution  been  at  work  to  repay 
him  for  his  many  boyish  faults  and  mistakes,  they  could 
have  contrived  no  better  plan. 

He  knew  that  to  coax  his  sister  would  be  useless,  and 
he  understood  her  well  enough  to  know  that  it  \vould  add 
to  her  enjoyment  of  the  situation,  and  that  he  was  deter 
mined  not  to  do.  So  he  went  back  to  bed  and  pretended 
to  be  sound  asleep  when  his  tormentress  came  up  with  his 
breakfast.  Everything  was  just  as  she  had  left  them,  but 
he  could  not  deceive  her,  so  she  said:  "  I  am  surprised  at 
your  sleeping  so  long  on  show  da}*."  But  she  received 
no  answer. 

Then  she  gave  him  a  vigorous  push.  "  Get  up,  or  you 
will  be  too  late  for  the  parade  ! "  At  which  he  gave  a 
sleepy  answer  : 

"  I  guess  I  run  around  too  much  yesterday  ;  anyhow  I 
am  awful  tired.  I  would  rather  sleep  than  to  see  six 
shows  all  in  one.  My  head  aches.  I  bumped  it  yester 
day.  I  know  the  noise  would  make  it  worse,  so  I  guess  I 
will  stay  in  bed." 

In  spite  of  his  power  to  affect  such  submissive  tones, 
his  heart  was  almost  bursting  with  boyish  indignation. 

No  sooner  had  his  sister  taken  her  leave  than  his  chum 
came  in  search  of  him.  He  had  waited  in  vain  about  the 
streets,  and  when  he  had  inquired  for  him  down-stairs,  his 
sister,  thinking  it  would  add  to  Tommy's  punishment, 
told  him  he  could  find  his  friend  up-stairs  in  bed. 


TOMMY'S  TRIALS.  163 

Tommy  knew  that  his  chum  would  sympathize  with 
him,  but  sympathy,  like  the  half-dollar,  would  avail  him 
nothing  as  long  as  he  had  no  clothes  to  put  on. 

"  Never  mind,  Tom,"  said  that  young  hopeful ;  "  I  will 
get  you  a  pair  of  my  pants."  And  without  giving  the 
other  a  chance  to  reply,  he  was  gone,  and  in  what  even 
seemed  a  short  time  to  the  waiting  boy,  was  back.  His 
\vardrobe  was  limited,  but  he  had  found  a  pair  of  pants 
that  he  had  outgrown  (forgetting  in  his  excitement  that 
he  was  the  smaller  of  the  two)  and  a  coat  of  his  much 
larger  brother,  which  articles  he  triumphantly  held  up 
before  his  waiting  friend. 

After  laboring  for  some  time,  Tommy  succeeded  in 
forcing  his  chubby  form  into  the  small  trousers,  while 
every  stitch  was  making  a  separate  threat  to  give  way, 
and  it  was  at  the  utmost  risk  that  he  made  a  step.  He 
then  slipped  into  the  coat.  This  was  much  too  large,  but 
he  must  put  it  on  to  hide  his  dirty  shirt,  for  the  clean 
ones  had  gone  in  company  with  the  rest  of  the  clothes. 
Even  his  shoes,  ties,  and  hats  were  gone,  and  it  began  to 
look  as  if  another  trip  would  be  necessary.  But  he  would 
see  first  if  he  could  find  a  hat  and  a  pair  of  shoes  in  his 
father's  room.  Even  if  they  wTere  a  little  large,  it  would 
not  matter.  He  found  the  necessary  articles,  but  the 
shoes  were  twice  the  si/.e  of  his  feet,  and  the  hat  also 
told  a  plain  story  of  borrowed  plumage. 

But  what  are  small  impediments  to  boys  with  a  show 
in  view  ?  So  the  two  slipped  quietly  down  the  stairs  and 
out  on  the  street. 

Poor  Tommy  !  The  first  sound  that  met  his  ears  was, 
"  Where  did  you  get  that  hat:*"  He  paid  no  heed  to 
this;  but  when  they  walked  up  to  a  crowd  oi  boys,  he 
all  the  time  trying  to  act  as  if  everything  was  all  right 
and  his  whole  outfit  had  just  been  bought  from  the 


164  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

tailor  on  special  order,  one  of  the  little  fellows,  over 
whom  the  two  had  been  lording  it  lately,  remarked : 

"  Tom,  if  your  head  was  as  big  as  that  hat,  I  would 
think  you  had  the  swelled  head,  sure." 

"  If  it  wasn't  for  the  tight  fit  of  his  pants,"  said  another, 
"  I'd  think  he  had  shrunk.  A  hard  puff  of  wind  would 
blow  all  his  other  duds  off." 

But  his  exasperation  did  not  get  the  best  of  him  until 
they  began  to  march  in  a  circle  around  him,  squinting 
first  one  eye  at  him  and  then  the  other.  Then  when  they 
lifted  the  flap  of  his  coat  to  make  a  closer  inspection,  the 
bump  of  antagonism  developed  into  full  size ;  and  his 
right  fist  went  out  in  a  way  that  brought  blood  to  one 
small  nose  at  once,  and  caused  a  sound  as  of  ripping  in 
the  seat  of  his  pants. 

But  since  his  force  was  in  the  minority,  the  crowd  soon 
had  them  rolling  in  the  dust,  and  when  they  finally  made 
their  escape  they  looked  much  the  worse  for  the  warfare, 
and  Tommy  had  to  return  and  enter  his  home  with  even 
greater  secrecy  than  he  had  left  it ;  and  by  the  time  he 
reached  his  room  every  seam  in  his  pants  had  parted 
company  and  there  was  nothing  left  for  him  to  do  but  to 
go  back  to  bed. 

"  Jim,  you  take  the  money  and  go  anyway.  Keep  what 
is  left  until  I  get  my  clothes  again.  If  I  would  keep  it 
here,  Sis  might  try  to  take  it  back — but  she  would  have 
to  fight  pretty  hard  to  get  it;  I  would  swallow  it  or  throw 
it  down  a  rat-hole  first !  " 

So  saying,  he  offered  his  precious  half-dollar  to  his 
friend,  half  hoping  that  he  would  refuse  to  take  it  and 
offer  to  stay  with  him.  But  that  was  not  in  accordance 
with  boyish  nature,  and  he  took  the  money,  saying : 

"  I  will  have  to  hurry  or  I  will  be  too  late  for  the 
parade.  But  I  won't  spend  any  more  of  your  money 


TOMMY'S  TRIALS.  165 

than  just  enough  to  take  me  into  the  show."  He  said 
this  in  a  reassuring  tone,  which  he  intended  should  be  a 
great  comfort  to  his  friend. 

But  the  poor  boy  was  no  sooner  left  alone  when  he 
burst  into  a  passion  of  weeping.  Every  bit  of  brightness 
seemed  to  have  gone  out  of  his  boyish  life. 

Hark  !  he  heard  music.  The  show  had  begun  its  parade 
of  the  streets.  He  listened  a  moment,  then  jumped  up. 
It  might  possibly  come  past  their  house,  and  he  would 
get  to  see  that  much  after  all.  It  was  on  their  street,  and 
seemed  to  be  coming  nearer  and  nearer.  He  was  almost 
sure  now  that  he  would  get  to  see  it.  There  was  only 
one  more  cross  street,  and  if  they  did  not  turn  there 
they  would  come  past.  He  pressed  his  face  against  the 
window,  but  lo,  he  could  only  see  the  glint  of  one  of  the 
wagons  now  and  then.  They  were  turning  the  corner. 

This  was  too  great  a  punishment  for  even  a  boy  who 
deserved  it,  and  his  grief  knew  no  bounds  ;  and  he  chaffed 
and  fretted  all  day  as  only  a  lad  of  his  age  knows  how 
when  his  dearest  hopes  have  been  frustrated. 

The  boy  who  was  enjoying  the  sights  at  his  expense 
did  not  come  near  him  again  all  day,  nor  did  any  one  else 
until  toward  evening,  when  the  author  of  this  day's  woes 
again  made  her  appearance. 

"  I  did  not  bring  you  any  dinner,  because  if  you  had 
the  neadache  bad  enough  to  keep  you  in  bed  on  circus 
day,  you  would  not  want  to  be  disturbed.  I  thought 
you  might  possibly  sleep  it  off,  so  you  would  be  able  to 
go  this  evening.  I  saw  you  go  out  this  morning,  and 
thought  you  were  better ;  but  when  yon  came  back  so 
soon,  I  knew  that  it  was  no  common  case  of  headache." 

She  %had  seen  Jim  go  slyly  up  the  stairs  with  a  bundle 
under  his  arm,  and  thought  he  might  possibly  outwit  her 
yet;  but  when  she  saw  him  steal  down  stairs  she  only 


166  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE.  ^ 

laughed  at  the  grotesque  figure  he  made,  thinking,  "  He 
will  never  reach  the  show-ground  in  that  outfit." 

He  had  hoped  she  did  not  see  him,  and  when  she 
looked  at  him  so  tauntingly  he  dropped  the  role  of  in 
valid,  which  he  had  assumed,  and  his  pent-up  anger  found 
vent  in  the  next  half  hour's  exchange  of  words. 

"  I  would  rather  have  the  headache  and  stay  away  from 
the  show  both,  than  to  be  a  sour  old  maid  like  you,  that 
is  just  mad  at  everybody  because  she  can't  find  a  man." 

"And  I  would  rather  live  single  all  my  life  than  to  be 
the  mother  of  such  a  boy  as  you.  I  would  never  want  it 
on  my  conscience  that  I  raised  such  a  boy." 

"  Well,  I  would  pity  your  little  boys  !  But  it  would  not 
be  respectable  for  you  to  have  any,  and  that  is  a  blessing; 
and  you  know  that  if  you  would  do  anything  that  is  not 
virtuous  and  proper  the  sisters  of  the  church  might  call 
on  you.  If  I  could  get  down  town  I  would  have  the 
policeman  after  you  for  stealing  my  clothes." 

"  The  next  time  I  catch  you  carrying  news  I  will  do 
worse  than  steal  your  clothes.  I  will  lock  you  up  for  a 
month,  and  not  even  give  you  enough  bread  and  water, 
and  thrash  you  within  an  inch  of  your  life  every  day 
besides." 

"  Thrash  me  ?  I  would  like  to  see  you  do  it !  You're 
not  able  !  It  would  take  a  half-dozen  girls  like  you.  %I 
guess  it's  because  you  are  too  young.  But  you  treated 
me  so  nice  the  last  week,  me  and  the  boys  were  beginning 
to  think  we  would  listen  to  everything  you  said,  and  post 
bills  or  start  a  newspaper  if  it  pleased  you,  so  that  you 
would  give  us  money  to  buy  good  things  whenever  we 
wanted  it,  make  us  taffy,  and  even  give  us  money  to  go 
to  the  show." 

This  last  remark  proved  that  the  boy  was  forgetting 
himself  in  his  excitement,  and  he  would  have  given 


TOMMY'S  TRIALS.  167 

much  to  be  able  to  recall  it  when  his  sister  said  triumph 
antly  : 

"  \Vhy  didn't  you  go  to  the  show?  Yes,  I  was  good  to 
you  ;  but  I  guess  I  am  even  with  you  now.  I  got  the 
worth  of  my  money  today  ;  and  if  you  ever  carry  any 
more  stories  to  Mrs.  Grey,  or  to  any  one  else,  I  will  have 
you  sent  to  the  reform  farm.  There's  where  you  belong." 

"  I  thought  from  the  way  that  you  three  women  started 
out  that  morning  that  you  was  expecting  to  reform  the 
whole  town  and  the  whole  world,  so  that  there  would  be  no 
use  for  such  places  an}'  more  ;  but  you  had  better  stay  at 
home  and  reform  your  tempers  and  your  tongues.  It  is 
a  wonder  your  tongues  don't  get  tired  and  hang  out  like 
a  horse's  when  he  has  been  doing  too  much  and  is  tired. 
Mebby  it's  because  you  are  only  doing  your  duty,"  and 
he  laughed  heartily. 

The  disappointment  of  the  day  was  fast  wearing  away 
during  this  display  of  boyish  sarcasm  and  spirit.  He 
knew  that  she  felt  the  humiliation  of  that  day  keenly, 
and  he  determined  on  making  the  best  of  it,  and  went  on 
mockingly: 

"  I  hope  the  three  between  you  were  able  to  make 
Mrs.  Grey  see  the  error  of  her  ways,  as  you  were  laying 
such  plans  to  do,  and  that  she  may  be  influenced  through 
your  timely  admonition  to  turn  back  to  the  paths  of  virtue 
and  henceforth  not  even  dare  to  set  her  cap  for  a  good- 
looking  man  that  the  rest  of  you  are  after." 

She  made  a  grab  for  him,  but  he  only  curled  himself 
closer  into  the  farthest  corner  under  his  bed,  where  he 
had  taken  refuge  when  she  first  came  up.  The  bed  was 
too  heavy  to  move  and  too  low  to  crawl  under,  so  he  was 
safe  just  out  of  reach  of  her  itching  palms. 

"  It  must  have  been  just  game  for  your  grievance  com 
mittee  to  be  caught  in  the  midst  of  your  good  work. 


1 68  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

Mebby  it  made  you  feel  the  error  of  your  way.  If  I  only 
had  seen  it  all  I  wouldn't  care  if  I  did  miss  the  show  to 
day.  It  must  have  been  just  game."  And  he  made  such 
demonstration  of  his  rejoicing  as  was  possible  in  his 
cramped  position. 

"  Say,  Sis,  if  you  tell  me  just  exactly  how  you  were 
caught  I  will  forgive  you  for  hiding  my  pants,  and  never 
play  another  trick  on  you  in  my  life, — anyhow  not  until 
the  next  one, — and  pay  you  back  the  half  dollar,  and  all 
the  rest  of  the  money  that  you  gave  us  boys,  just  as  soon 
as  I  can  get  dressed  and  get  out  to  earn  it.  I'll  cross  my 
heart  that  I  will  do  it.  Tell  me,  Sis,  will  you  ?  I  know 
it  would  be  more  interesting  than  Paradise  Lost  or 
Robinson  Crusoe." 

But  his  sister  knew  that  when  Tommy  got  into  one  of 
those  sarcastic  moods  he  was  past  being  hurt  by  any  of 
her  thrusts,  and  not  feeling  sure  that  she  even  now  had 
the  best  of  him,  she  stole  quietly  out  and  left  him  talk 
ing.  The  last  thing  she  heard  him  say  was,  "  Say,  Sis, 
mebby  if  you  would  send  a  petition  to  congress,  or  some 
thing,  they  would  make  a  law  that  would  make  it  highly 
proper  for  you  to  have  children.  Then  you  could  teach 
people  how  to  bring  them  up  in  the  way  that  they  should 
go.  It  might  be  a  little  hard  on  the  kids,  but  you  would 
be  doing  a  noble  duty." 

"  If  Sis  thinks  this  will  square  things  up,"  he  said  to 
himself,  after  he  had  found  out  that  he  was  alone,  "  she 
will  get  an  eye  opener  before  she  gets  much  older ;  that 
is,  if  she  did  get  older,  but  she  is  younger  now  than  she 
was  the  first  time  that  I  heard  her  tell  her  age.  I  won 
der  what  she  thinks  us  boys  go  to  school  for  and  study 
the  multiplication  table  until  we  get  dizzy  headed,  if  it  is 
not  to  learn  how  to  add  up  old  maids'  ages  and  things. 
If  she  had  not  tore  the  leaf  out  of  the  Bible  that  had  her 


TOMMY'S  TRIALS.  169 

age  or  I  could  tell  exactly,  but  she  will  find  out  that 
there  are  some  worse  things  in  the  world  than  just  for 
boys  to  know  how  old  she  is.  She  don't  know  me  very 
well  if  she  thinks  that  I  would  blab  such  a  thing  as  that, 
that  is,  if  it  would  spoil  her  matrimonial  chances,  because 
a  boy  would  be  foolish  if  he  did  anything  that  would 
work  straight  against  himself. 

"  I  wonder  if  she  did  not  think  that  she  was  doing 
things  up  brown  when  she  hid  my  pants  so  I  could  not 
go  to  the  show  ?  If  I  had  only  thought  that  she  would 
cut  such  a  caper  I  would  have  sneaked  my  clothes  into 
the  stable  mow  or  kept  them  on  in  bed.  Well,  she  did 
hit  me  hard,  that  is  sure.  She  could  not  have  treated  me 
any  worse,  but  I'll  get  even  with  her  if  I  have  to  wait 
till  I'm  a  man  to  do  it.  I  won't  wait  that  long  though, 
because  she  might  give  me  the  slip. 

"  Oh,  I'll  even  things  up  about  right,  if  I  have  to  get  all 
the  boys  in  town  to  help  me.  Before  I  get  through  with 
the  process  she  will  wish  old  maids  had  never  been  born, 
or  else  had  a  husband  to  take  their  spite  out  on.  Oh  no, 
Sissy  dear,  we'll  not  smoke  the  pipe  of  peace  yet  awhile." 

With  this  conclusive  ejaculation  he  peeped  out  to  make 
sure  of  the  absolute  safety  of  such  a  venture,  then  hur 
ried  out  from  his  retreat  and  back  to  bed. 


CHAPTER  XVII. 

STILL   TRYING    TO    DECIDE    THE    QUESTION. 

A  LTHOUGH  the  object  of  it  was  all  unconscious  of 
f\  it,  the  excitement  in  the  Cloverdale  Church  was 
still  at  fever  heat.  Should  they  leave  her  remain  in  the 
church  ?  Should  they  allow  their  daughters  to  sing  with 
one  whose  voice  led  in  holy  worship  on  Sunday  and  dur 
ing  the  week  was  engaged  in  luring  unsuspecting  victims 
into  the  paths  of  wrong  ?  For  she  had  often  been  heard 
singing  while  that  man  was  seen  about  the  house.  She 
had  been  heard  by  different  persons,  and  respectable 
people,  w7hose  word  could  not  be  doubted. 

It  was  evident  that  the  three  women,  who  had  taken  it 
upon  themselves  to  lighten  the  duties  of  the  official  board 
and  perchance  keep  those  dignitaries  out  of  temptation's 
power,  had  not  given  the  sisterhood  the  benefit  of  their 
discover)'.  The  fact  of  their  visit  leaked  out,  as  such 
things  have  a  way  of  doing,  in  a  way  shrouded  in  mys 
tery.  But  when  they  were  plied  with  questions  by  the 
daring  or  more  privileged  ones,  they  were  very  reticent 
about  the  matter.  Aside  from  the  fact  that  there  was  a 
man  there,  and  that  they  had  seen  him,  they  could  be 
prevailed  upon  to  say  nothing  ;  but  from  their  manner 
and  a  certain  air  they  assumed,  \vhenever  the  subject  was 
introduced,  it  was  plainly  to  be  seen  that  everj'thing  was 
not  as  it  should  be  at  the  Grey  cottage. 

So  they  were  all  left  to  form  their  own  conclusions, 
and  varied  and  numerous  they  were,  according  to  the 
thickness  of  the  film  that  had  formed  over  the  narrow 
windows  of  their  souls.  The  each  one  resolved  herself 


STILL  TRYING  TO  DECIDE  THE  QUESTION.  171 

into  a  committee  of  ways  and  means  to  find  out  all  about 
the  woman  under  surveillance. 

They  began  by  watching  her,  not  so  much  for  the  gen 
eral  good  as  for  the  satisfaction  of  their  own  individual 
curiosity  ;  but  they  nevertheless  compared  notes  and  cast 
their  theories  and  surmises  into  the  general  stock  of 
evidence  collected  against  her. 

The  man  had  been  seen  about  the  house  at  different 
times  for  about  ten  days,  and  then  he  was  seen  no  more. 
Xo  one  had  seen  him -close  enough  to  know  him  should 
they  see  him  again.  Of  course  any  one  of  them  would 
have  felt  highly  scandali/ed  to  have  been  seen  near  the 
house  after  that.  If  she  would  only  stay  away  from 
church  the\-  would  not  worry  themselves  about  her — buV 
how  to  get  her  to  do  this,  was  the  question.  The  unsat 
isfactory  conduct  of  the  three  who  had  gone  to  her  house 
to  advise  her  had  the  effect  of  driving  all  such  thoughts 
as  that  from  their  minds. 

Then  when  the  weekly  paper  came  out,  announcing 
that  all  the  household  goods  of  Mrs.  Mary  Grey  would 
be  sold  by  the  town  crier  on  a  certain  day,  their  endur 
ance  had  reached  its  utmost  limit.  Why  should  they  be 
kept  in  such  suspense  ?  What  was  she  going  to  do  now  ? 
each  one  inquired  of  the  other  ;  but  no  one  seemed  to  be 
enlightened  on  the  subject. 

Mrs.  Ferris  was  seen  going  and  coining  from  the  cot 
tage,  but  no  one  would  ever  think  of  asking  her  any 
questions  ;  not  but  what  she  was  pleasant  and  kind,  but 
there  was  an  air  about  her  which  forbade  any  approach 
to  familiarity.  They  knew  that  Mrs.  Grey  was  giving 
the  daughter  lessons,  but  they  marveled  greatly  at  the 
friendly  intercourse  between  the  two  women,  and  only 
attributed  it  to  Mrs.  Ferris'  ignorance  of  the  facts  in  the 
case.  Hut  the  same  feeling  that  kept  them  from  ({ties- 


172  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

tioning  also  checked  any  desire  they  might  otherwise 
have  entertained. 

Could  it  be  possible  that  the  man  had  honorable  inten 
tions  toward  Tier  and  was  going  to  marry  her  ?  She  may, 
after  all,  only  have  been  hunting  rooms  for  a  blind.  If  they 
were  going  to  marry,  they  did  not  wonder  that  she  pre 
ferred  to  follow  him  (which  they  had  not  the  slightest 
doubt  she  would  do)  and  marry  among  strangers,  rather 
than  to  commit  such  an  outrage  to  the  dead  pastor  and 
society  right  in  their  midst. 

Or  worse  still — horror  of  horrors  ! — could  she  be  going 
to  follow  him  to  lead  such  a  life  as  would  even  cast  a 
reflection  upon  their  judgment,  if  not  upon  their  charac 
ters,  for  ever  having  trusted  her?  Xo  wonder  there 
was  such  an  air  of  secrecy  about  her  !  Xo  wonder  she 
would  not  brave  their  righteous  indignation  ! 

Luckily  the  sale  would  soon  be  here.  That  might  give 
them  an  opportunity  to  make  some  discoveries  if  they 
watched  and  listened  closely ;  which  they  did,  when  the 
time  came,  and  in  such  a  way  that  some  of  them  may 
even  have  lost  a  bargain  by  not  attending  strictly  to  their 
bidding. 

The  sale  went  on.  She  sold  everything,  even  such 
things  as  they  would  think  any  true  wife  would  have 
kept  in  remembrance  of  her  dead  husband.  But  what 
did  she  care  !  She  did  not  want  anything  that  would 
remind  her  of  him.  Her  conscience  would  be  clearer  if 
she  could  forget  him  entirely — and  she  would  do  that, 
too,  sooner  than  any  of  them  could  if  any  of  their  hus 
band's  died.  But  it  was  wrong  to  compare  such  women 
as  her  to  themselves.  She  could  not  be  expected  to  feel 
like  they  did. 

In  spite  of  sacrificed  bargains  and  the  utmost  watch 
fulness  on  their  part,  the  sale  came  to  an  end  without  the 
vigilants  being  any  the  wiser. 


STILL  TRYING  TO  DECIDE  THE  QUESTION.  I  73 

It  had  not  been  generally  known  that  Mrs.  Ferris' 
brother  and  his  wife  had  come  from  the  city,  but  one  or 
two  of  the  company  had  seen  them  drive  away  from  Mrs. 
Grey's  gate  in  the  Ferris  carriage,  and  knew  they  must 
have  been  here  two  weeks,  at  least.  Mrs.  Ferris  had 
been  cleaning  house  ;  that  was  the  reason  the}'  had  not 
seen  more  of  them.  They  had  been  at  the  sale  from  the 
very  beginning,  and  either  Mr.  Alton,  his  wife,  or  sister 
had  kept  at  Mrs.  Grey's  side  during  the  wrhole  time. 
And  when  the  last  article  had  been  sold,  the  gentleman 
stepped  to  the  edge  of  the  porch  and  said,  in  a  tone  that 
a  few  in  the  company  had  heard  on  a  previous  occasion  : 
"  It  would  greatly  oblige  Mrs.  Grey  if  you  would  remove 
your  purchases  at  once,  as  the  lady  wishes  to  secure  the 
house  and  gates  before  she  leaves,  and  it  is  growing  late." 

The  tone  of  dismissal  could  not  well  be  misunderstood, 
and  the  transfer  was  in  active  service  for  a  time.  Some 
of  them  left  carrying  the  small  articles  of  furniture  that 
they  had  bought  with  them,  and  in  a  remarkably  short 
time  the  cottage  and  yard  was  cleared ;  but  not  without 
many  hurried  whispers  and  mysterious  shakes  of  the 
head  that  meant — well,  what  might  they  not  have  meant  .•* 
They  certainly  were  suggestive  of  much. 

"  Well,"  said  one,  "  Mrs.  Grey  may  not  be  as  black  as 
she  is  painted,  but  it  always  looks  suspicious  to  me  when 
the  men  are  all  ready  to  stand  up  for  a  woman.  They 
are  not  such  angels  that  they  will  do  such  things  without 
some  return.  It  is  always  a  bad  sign  for  a  woman  to 
stand  in  too  great  favor  with  them." 

"  It  seems  to  serve  Mrs.  Grey  a  good  purpose,"  said 
Mrs.  Dixon,  with  a  meaning  look  at  Miss  Green.  Those 
two,  with  Mrs.  Jones,  could  not  have  been  prevailed  upon 
to  stay  away  from  the  sale  ;  so  they  had  come,  trying  to 
avoid  being  seen  by  keeping  at  a  respectable  but  what 


174  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

proved  to  them  an  uncomfortable  distance  from  Mrs.  Grey 
and  her  friends.  We  all  know  that  their  position  could 
not  have  been  an  enviable  one.  Who  has  not,  some 
time  during  their  life,  had  a  similar  experience,  and  tried 
to  avoid  being  seen  if  for  no  other  reason  than  to — avoid 
being  seen  ;  and  know  how  futile  is  the  attempt  to  keep 
in  a  comfortable  frame  of  mind,  no  matter  what  persuasive 
powers  we  try  upon  ourselves  ? 

"  And  she  takes  it,  too,  as  if  it  was  no  more  than  her 
due  that  the  men  should  all  assume  an  air  of  protection 
toward  her." 

"  Air  of  protection  ! "  said  Miss  Green,  with  a  contempt 
uous  sniff.  "  Air  of  protection  !  I  call  that  an  air  of 
proprietorship  !  I  would  think  that  even  he  would  have 
had  the  common  decency  to  hide  that  air  before  a  crowd 
of  respectable  people.  I  would  have  preferred  doing  my 
own  talking  and  giving  of  orders  ;  but  a  widow  is  never 
satisfied  unless  she  is  receiving  the  marked  attention  of 
some  fool  man." 

"  Yes,"  said  Mrs.  Dixon  ;  "  it  is  a  pity  that  some  women 
receive  their  lordly  attention,  when  there  are  others  that 
would  be  thankful  for  ever  so  little." 

"  Well,  I  am  very  glad  that  I  am  able  to  take  care  of 
myself,"  said  Miss  Green,  hotly.  "  I  would  rather  be  able 
to  do  that  than  to  have  the  best  man  living,  and,  as  far 
as  I  am  able  to  judge,  none  of  you  have  been  able  to 
secure  him." 

Mrs.  Dixon  had  told  her  husband  some  much  plainer 
facts  many  times  herself,  and  she  knew  that  Miss  Green 
was  thinking  of  an  altercation  that  she  had  overheard 
between  them  when  they  did  not  know  that  she  or  any 
one  else  was  near ;  but  she  only  said,  with  one  of  her 
tantalizing  looks  : 

"  I  am  glad  for  you  that  you  are  able  to  row  your  own 


STILL  TRYING  TO  DECIDE  THE  QUESTION.  175 

boat,  and  it  is  one  thing  that  you  have  to  be  thankful  for. 
If  it  does  run  woefully  to  one  side  sometimes,  it  is 
something  to  be  grateful  for  that  you  can  keep  it  sailing 
without  any  help,  since  no  one  feels  equal  to  handling 
the  other  oar.  'The  best  man  living'?"  she  went  on. 
"That  may  mean  much  or  little,  according  to  the  way  he 
is  handled.  For  even  the  best  is  not  a  saint,  or  we  could 
not  hope  to  keep  him,  for  he  would  not  be  doomed  to 
remain  long  on  earth.  I  know  that  '  the  best  husband  in 
the  world'  does  not  mean  a  '  perfect'  being  that  it  is  in  our 
power  to  secure  and  hold,  but  it  means  a  constant  effort 
on  the  part  of  the  wife.  It  means  a  cheerful  face,  a  tidy 
house,  ready  meals,  and  a  wonderful  skill  at  hiding  any 
effort  that  it  may  cost,  on  her  part,  to  keep  everything  in 
accordance  with  his  tastes.  But  since  we  can  only  win 
and  hold  a  man's  affections  and  appreciation  by  minis 
tering  to  the  needs  of  the  inner  man  according  to  the 
dictates  of  his  palate,  the  outer  according  to  the  nicety 
of  his  tastes,  and  gratifying  his  vanity  by  affecting  a 
cheerful  air  of  homage,  we  might  as  well  submit  our 
selves  to  the  inevitable  and  make  the  best  of  life.  And 
it  is  to  our  loss,  if  not  discredit,  if  more  of  us  do  not 
have  the  '  best  man  in  the  world.'  And  after  all,  we 
could  in  no  better  way  do  credit  to  our  alleged  cunning 
than  by  securing  for  ourselves  the  best  and  most  desira 
ble  of  all  this  world  holds  in  store  for  those  only  who  are 
wise  enough  to  lay  hold  of  their  rightful  inheritance. 
So  you  see,  Miss  Green,  according  to  the  best  reasoning 
that  I  am  capable  of,  it  will  be  in  your  power  to  make 
the  coming  man  comfortable  and  self-satisfied,  and  he  in 
turn  will  repay  yon  by  being  the  best  husband  in  the 
world,  and  I  can't  see  why  you  should  not  be  happy  when 
he  once  makes  his  appearance." 

"That  is  a  wonderful   speech  that  you   have  just  deliv- 


176  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

ered  yourself  of.  If  I  understood  short-hand  I  would 
have  taken  it  down,  and  we  all  hope  that  it  may  accom 
plish  that  for  which  it  was  sent.  It  certainly  could  not 
fail  to  do  so." 

"A  word  to  the  wise  is  sufficient,"  said  Mrs.  Dixon 
sweetly. 

"  Especially  when  it  comes  from  the  wise,"  said  Miss 
Green,  sarcastically. 

"  Well,  I  think  we  had  better  all  show  our  wisdom  by 
leaving,  since  we  have  been  invited  by  the  authoritative 
power  to  do  so. 

"Well  I  for  one  am  not  going  to  leave,  or  not  go  out 
of  sight  at  least,  until  I  see  where  she  goes,"  said  Miss 
Green,  crossing  the  street  and  entering  the  house  of  her 
friend,  where  she  took  up  her  watch  behind  the  lace 
curtain  at  the  front  window  where  she  could  see,  herself, 
unseen. 

While  the  above  conversation  was  taking  place,  Mrs. 
Jones  was  in  another  part  of  the  yard,  regaling  a  privil- 
edged  few  with  the  knowledge  that  her  superior  insight 
into  human  nature  gave  her,  regarding  not  only  Mrs. 
Grey's  conduct  from  the  time  that  she  and  her  husbind 
had  come  so  full  of  hope  among  them,  down  to  the  pres 
ent  moment,  but  also  her  unalterable  future  and  doom, 
should  she  not  learn  wisdom  and  confide  in  some  one 
older  and  more  experienced  than  herself  and  ask  for 
guidance.  For  aught  she  knew  she  might  even  now 
regain  the  respect  and  confidence  of  the  sisterhood,  at 
least  if  she  would  only  select  some  suitable  person — a 
suitable  person,  mind — and  explain  x  to  her  her  conduct, 
and  get  her  to  make  a  satisfactory  explanation  to  the 
rest  ot  the  justly  dissatisfied  members  of  the  church, 
she  knew  that  she,  with  her  willingness  to  make  the 
best  of  everything  and  tact  to  hide  what  should  not  be 


STILL  TRYING  TO  DECIDE  THE  QUESTION.  177 

known,  could  prove  of  invaluable  service  to  her.  She 
could  have  been  a  great  help  from  the  very  start,  when 
she  first  came  a  stranger  among  them.  But  instead  of 
making  a  wise  choice  from  among  the  older  ladies  of  the 
church,  she  had  acted  from  the  beginning  as  if  she  not 
only  expected  to  take  the  town,  but  intended  to  do  it 
alone.  But  she  never  did  see  a  young  person  that  was 
too  conceited  to  respect  the  friendship  and  advice  of 
well-meaning  older  people  come  to  a  good  end.  Why, 
the  very  fact  that  she  ignored  their  well-meant  overtures 
was  plain  enough  proof  to  her  that  there  was  something 
about  her  that  she  knew  would  not  do  to  disclose  to  peo 
ple  of  their  high  moral  standard.  Where  such  secrecy 
was  necessary  all  could  not  be  right. 

"Do  not  ask  me  about  that  call  that  those  two  ladies 
and  myself  were  led  through  the  goodness  of  our  hearts 
and  the  interests  of  the  church  to  make.  Had  I  known 
before  what  I  do  now,  all  my  interest  in  poor  erring 
humanity  could  not  have  induced  me  to  neglect  my  home 
duties  and  sacrifice  my  own  peace  of  mind  as  I  did. 
Here,  again,  had  she  confided  in  me  beforehand,  I  could 
have  made  an  explanation  that  might  have  satisfied  the 
minds  of  some,  and  she  might  have  escaped  having  the 
church  to  appoint  some  one  to  watch  her  conduct.  It  is 
every  person's  duty  to  avoid  making  trouble  for  others, 
even  if  they  don't  mind  risking  their  own  standing  in 
the  opinion  of  those  who  can  hold  themselves  blameless 
before  the  world.  I  don't  suppose  that  a  soul,  unless  it 
is  those  Ferris  people  (  and  they  are  too  mole-eyed  to  be 
any  judges  in  such  or  any  other  matters),  know  a  thing 
about  what  she  intends  to  do.  Xo\v,  had  she  acted  as 
she  should,  and  told  me — some  one — I  might  have  been 
able  to  get  people  to  take  a  quite  different  view  of  it  by 
saving:  '  What  if  she  did  intend  to  marrv  again?  If  her 


178  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

friends  and  those  whose  advice  she  had  asked  could  see 
nothing  against  it,  I  didn't  see  why  others  that  had  not 
been  called  upon  need  bother  themselves  about  the  mat 
ter,  even  if  the  parson  had  not  been  dead  six  months ; 
and  that  if  he  was  as  good  as  he  pretended  to  be,  he 
would  rather  see  her  married  to  some  man  as  would 
support  her,  than  to  see  her  struggle  for  her  own  living ; 
and  that  I  did  not  blame  her  for  wanting  to  move  away 
from  a  place  where  everybody  was  trying  to  pry  into  her 
business.'  But  as  it  is  she  will  leave  this  town  under 
a  shadow — a  shadow,  I  am  afraid,  that  will  iollow  her 
wherever  she  goes." 

Mrs.  Jones  had  talked  in  such  confident  tones  about 
Mrs.  Grey's  marriage  and  removal  from  the  town  that  her 
hearers  marveled  at  her  power  to  foretell,  since  she  her 
self  acknowledged  that  Mrs.  Grey  had  made  the  great 
mistake  of  not  confiding  in  her.  But  since  this  was  by  no 
means  the  first  evidence  of  her  foresight,  they  accepted 
the  points  in  the  case  as  conclusive,  only  wondering  where 
the  man  came  from,  and,  if  he  married  her  at  all,  where 
he  would  take  her  to,  and  how  she  had  contrived  to  catch 
him  so  soon,  even  if  a  widow's  cap  was  a  trap  from  which 
escape  was  next  to  impossible. 

Mrs.  Jones  had  no  doubt  that  Mrs.  Grey  would  leave 
town.  What  else  would  she  do?  She  was  leaving  her 
cottage,  and  she  had  taken  care  to  find  out  that  she  had 
not  succeeded  in  finding  rooms.  Neither  had  she  any 
doubts  that  she  would,  at  some  future  time,  marry  again. 
Hence  her  air  of  assurance.  If  she  only  married  in  a 
year  or  two,  her  guarded  remarks  might  even  be  made  to 
extend  over  that  length  of  time,  and  her  superior  wisdom 
might  still  go  unquestioned  as  before. 

Miss  Green  waited  until  she  saw  the  transfer  deposit 
Mrs.  Grey's  belongings  at  the  home  of  Mrs.  Ferris,  and 


STILL  TRYING  TO  DECIDK  THK  OUKSTION.  179 

saw  the  four  people  follow  in  the  wagon's  wake  and  enter 
the  house  together. 

"  I  might  have  known  that  she  would  go  there,  if  she 
received  the  least  encouragement.  If  a  man  once  shows 
the  least  attention  to  a  widow,  she  is  worse  to  get  rid  of 
than  a  life-long  habit.  I  might  have  known  that  she 
would  contrive  to  be  invited  to  a  place  where  there  is  a 
handsome  young  man.  What  matters  it  to  her  whether 
he  is  married  or  single,  as  long  as  he  is  willing  to  play 
the  gallant  to  her?  If  Mrs.  Ferris  had  any  eyes  in  her 
head  she  could  see  that  there  is  something  wrong  between 
the  two — or  if  there  isn't  now,  there  is  sure  to  be  soon. 
I  wish  I  could  arouse  the  suspicions  of  that  young  \vife. 
That  would  be  the  best  way  to  get  the  spiteful  thing  into 
hot  water  and  pa}'  her  back  for  all  her  airs.  And  I  will 
do  it,  too, — that  is,  if  she  stays  there  any  length  of  time, 
for  her  stay,  after  all,  may  only  be  temporary.  I  wish  I 
knew.  I  did  not  learn  much  by  watching,  because  I 
might  have  known  that  she  would  go  there  tonight.  It 
is  hard  to  find  out  anything  about  such  sly  characters  : 
but  if  we  don't  catch  her  in  something,  or  pretend  we 
caught  her,  which  will  amount  to  the  same,  she  will  stay 
here  and  have  the  best  time  of  us  all.  There  are  enough 
young  minxes  here  to  turn  up  their  noses  at  a  sensible 
woman  who  prefers  to  live  a  single  life,  without  a  widow 
to  encourage  and  help  them  along.  Hut  I  think  I  will 
be  able  to  make  her  feel  that  some  other  town  would  be 
•a  more  suitable  locality  for  her  wiles." 

In  this  highly  exalted  frame  of  mind  Miss  Green 
reached  her  home,  more  determined  than  ever  to  have 
revenge. 

vSuch  a  problem  had  not  been  presented  to  the  minds 
of  the  Cloverdale  people  for  some  time.  Would  even  the 
united  efforts  of  the  sisterhood  be  able  to  bring  it  to  a 


l8o  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

satisfactory  solution  ?  They  were  at  work  upon  it,  indi 
vidually  and  collectively.  If  it  were  not  that  Mrs.  Grey 
was  just  the  woman  she  is,  they  could  not  be  induced  to 
trouble  themselves  about  her ;  they  would  let  her  go  to 
the  bad  if  she  wanted  to.  But  if  she  wanted  to  stay  in 
their  town  and  hold  the  position  of  their  dead  pastor's 
widow,  her  conduct  must  not  only  be  above  suspicion, 
but  open,  so  that  her  actions  could  be  understood ;  they 
would  never  tolerate  an  enigma  in  their  midst.  Upon 
this  point  they  were  firmly  decided.  It  was  not  in  accord 
ance  with  the  high  moral  standard  of  the  town. 

The  discoveries  of  the  next  few  days  were  varied,  but 
mostly  unsatisfactory.  They  were  made  known  at  the 
next  meeting  of  the  sewing  circle.  It  was  now  generally 
known  that  Mrs.  Grey  was  making  her  home  with  Mrs. 
Ferris ;  but  how,  would  they  still  regard  her  as  a  friend, 
or  would  she  be  there  in  the  capacity  of  an  upper  servant? 
They  sincerely  hoped  the  latter  was  the  case.  It  would 
be  such  a  good  lesson  to  her  pride  to  be  obliged  to  content 
herself  with  making  eyes  at  the  milkman  and  vegetable 
peddler  and  curtain  hanger.  Would  she  be  able  to  go  on 
with  her  music?  Would  her  hands  not  become  too  stiff? 
and  besides,  would  people  care  to  have  their  daughters 
take  any  kind  of  lessons  from  a  woman  who  did  kitchen 
work  the  rest  of  the  day  ?  They  would  not  call  on  her, 
that  was  sure  ;  the}-  might  be  directed  to  the  side  entrance 
if  they  did.  Well,  they  were  glad  she  was  going  to  stay 
in  town,  if  that  was  what  she  was  going  to  do.  They 
would  have  an  opportunity  to  get  even.  They  would 
show  her  plainly  that  a  servant  was  not  good  enough  to 
be  noticed  by  them,  if  she  was  a  minister's  widow. 

"  You  talk,"  said  Mrs.  Dixon,  "  as  if  you  had  Mrs.  Grey 
in  the  basement,  and  had  the  key  in  your  own  hand,  with 
the  power  to  turn  the  lock  upon  her ;  but  if  my  eyes 


STILL  TRYING  TO  DECIDE  THE  QUESTION.  l8l 

(which  are  usually  good)  serve  me  right,  that  great 
pleasure  will  be  denied  you,  for,  depend  upon  it,  she  will 
reign  supreme,  not  only  in  the  parlor  but  in  the  hearts  of 
her  admirers.  I  saw  them  together  several  times,  and 
they  acted  as  if  she  was  the  sun  around  which  the  rest  of 
humanity  revolves.  And  she  not  only  goes  out  in  the 
Ferris  carriage,  but  I  even  saw  her  in  Colonel  Wilkins' 
turnout.  vSo  you  see  the  milk  and  vegetable  men  will 
have  to  look  elsewhere  for  smiles." 

"  Yes,"  said  Mrs.  Jones,  who  had  been  reserving  her 
knowledge  for  one  great  effort ;  "  Mr.  Alton  told  my  hus 
band  (you  know  he  comes  here  every  fall,  and  the  two 
men  are  quite  well  acquainted  )  that  Mrs.  Grey  was  to 
have  a  home  with  his  sister  as  long  as  she  cared  to,  and 
that  the  time  could  not  be  too  long  to  suit  any  of  them, 
and  that  she  was  to  be  regarded  by  all  of  them  as  a  sister 
or  very  dear  friend.  He  said  that  she  was  to  keep  her 
pupils,  so  as  to  be  able  to  lay  up  something  for  herself, 
since  she  seemed  to  think  that  so  necessary." 

As  far  as  her  riding  in  the  Wilkins  carriage  was  con 
cerned,  there  was  nothing  strange  about  that.  She  was 
going  to  give  lessons  to  his  two  sons.  That  was  nothing 
new  to  her.  Why,  she  was  at  Mrs.  Grey's  when  she 
wrote  the  letter  of  application,  and  that  was  several 
weeks  ago.  Why,  she  went  to  the  office  with  her  when 
she  posted  it ;  but  she  always  was  able  to  keep  things 
until  the  proper  time  came  for  them  to  be  told. 

"  But  I  still  have  grave  fears  for  vSister  Grey.  I  am 
afraid  all  is  not  as  it  should  be.  I  still  have  serious 
doubts  whether  her  influence  in  our  church  will  be  ele 
vating  to  our  young  people.  If  she  would  only  open  up 
her  heart  to  one  of  us  older,  more  experienced  women, 
we  might  even  now  be  able  to  help  her." 

"  But  what  has  become  of  the  man  that  was  seen  about 


1 82  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

her  house  ?  I  thought  he  might  possibly  be  going  to  take 
her  away,"  said  a  listener. 

"  I  will  tell  you,"  said  Miss  Green,  "  why  the  man  that 
was  seen  by  so  many  reliable  people  at  her  house,  and  at 
all  hours,  does  not  take  her  unto  himself.  It  is  because 
he  is  not  free  to  do  so,  since  he  is  a  married  man,  and  is 
none  other  than  Mr.  Alton  himself!  I  have  concealed  the 
truth  as  long  as  I  intend  to,  and  will  do  so  no  longer." 

At  this  the  voices  of  the  whole  company  arose :  "  Do 
tell !  What  is  this  world  coming  to  ?  If  this  world  is 
growing  wiser  or  not,  it  is  certainly  growing  more  sinful 
and  weaker !  His  wife  ought  to  be  told  !  Mrs.  Ferris 
ought  to  know  it !  " 

"  It  would  do  no  good  to  go  to  an}"  of  them  with  it. 
They  would  not  thank  you  for  your  pains,"  said  Miss 
Green,  sneeringly. 

This  was  rather  a  bold  stroke  on  the  part  of  Miss 
Green,  but  she  knew  that  Mrs.  Jones  and  Mrs.  Dixon 
would  not  correct  the  mistake  that  the  women  were  led 
to  make,  as  they  would  necessarily  be  obliged  to  tell 
more  than  they  cared  to  have  known.  So  she  only  gave 
them  a  look  which  said  plainer  than  words,  "  Tell  the 
rest  if  you  care  to — it  will  make  you  objects  of  ridicule 
as  well  as  myself." 

As  Miss  Green  supposed,  there  was  no  danger.  They 
\vould  rather  give  to  their  tender  consciences  what  might 
prove  their  death-blow  than  to  lay  themselves  open  to 
ridicule.  And  after  all,  Miss  Green  had  told  nothing  but 
the  truth,  even  though  she  had  not  told  it  all :  that  was 
no  fault  of  theirs. 

"  Well,"  said  another,  who  was  beginning  to  feel  that 
she  was  falling  behind  in  general  knowledge,  "  I  have 
seen  some  things  myself,  although  I  have  never  said 
anything.  I  never  did  believe  in  talking  too  quick." 


STILL  TRYING  TO  DECIDE  THE  QUESTION.  183 

"  I  have  never  told  more  myself  than  what  I  felt  to 
be  my  Christian  duty.  I  never  interfere  with  any  one 
only  as  duty  calls  me.  But  the  supreme  question  is, 
shall  we  allow  this  woman  to  go  on  in  our  midst  ?  The 
question  for  us  to  decide  is,  would  it  prove  a  detriment 
to  the  church  or  would  it  not  ?  The  only  proper  way  for 
us  to  do  is  to  consult  together  as  sensible  women,  and 
then  act  as  seems  best ;  and  if  we  should  feel  called  upon 
to  pass  severe  sentence  upon  the  erring  sister,  we  should 
do  it  in  a  Christian  spirit." 

The  sister  who  had  had  her  duty  so  plainly  mapped 
out  to  her,  and  who  had  felt  the  reproof,  could  no  longer 
refrain  from  adding  her  evidence,  especially  when  a  dozen 
pair  of  eyes  were  turned  upon  her  in  a  questioning  way. 

She  began  to  feel  that  all  she  knew  would  hardly  have 
the  power  to  send  any  one  to  the  state's  prison,  but  de 
termined  to  make  the  best  of  it.  So  she  began.:  "  Well, 
they  meet  a  little  too  often  for  me  to  think  that  it  is  acci 
dental.  Why,  just  the  other  day  I  was  going  toward  the 
post-office.  Before  I  got  near  I  saw  her  go  in.  She  was 
no  sooner  in  than  he  came  from  another  direction  and 
followed  her.  And  that  same  afternoon,  as  I  was  coming 
along  on  their  street  on  the  other  side,  I  saw  them  meet 
again  at  the  gate.  Some  might  call  such  things  chance, 
but  I  am  certain  that  they  are  just  the  kind  of  chances 
that  she  is  looking  for." 

This  had  the  effect  of  calling  out  several  others.  One 
thought  she  had  seen  them  turn  the  corner  of  their  street 
together.  She  had  gone  to  the  window,  but  was  too  late 
to  get  a  good  view  of  them,  but  she  did  not  believe  that 
it  was  his  wife  that  was  with  him.  Another  was  certain 
that  she  never  took  her  eyes  off  him  while  she  was  sing 
ing  the  Sunday  before. 

"  The  only  pity,"   said  Mrs.   Dixon,   "  is  that   since  the 


1 84  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

widow  is  not  to  be  gotten  rid  of,  and  there  is  no  law  to 
keep  her  from  using  her  eyes  as  she  pleases,  that  those 
who  have  been, less  favored  by  'Dame  Nature'  haven't  a 
right  to  spoil  their  beauty  by  throwing  cayenne  pepper 
or  vitriol  into  them.  I  think  the  old  '  Dame  '  need  not 
have  been  so  partial  in  her  distribution  of  charms,"  (with 
a  side  glance  at  Miss  Green). 

"  I  think  a  dose  of  some  kind  on  your  tongue  might 
not  prove  amiss,"  said  that  young  lady,  with  as  little 
show  of  temper  as  possible.  "  I  am  not  good  looking, 
but  I  am  aware  of  it,  and  I  have  seen  some  that  were  no 
beauties  and  did  not  even  have  sense  enough  to  know  it. 
But  perhaps  it  was  yourself  that  you  meant  would  like 
to  throw  the  vitriol." 

"  If  I  did,  it  would  be  for  your  sake,  my  dear.  I  may 
suffer  some  by  the  contrast,  but  aside  from  that  I  have 
nothing  <to  gain  or  lose  by  her  beauty,  since  my  facial 
defects  did  not  prove  objectionable  to  the  good  Mr. 
Dixon." 

"  Since  there  is  no  law  in  this  country  against  staying 
single,  you  need  not  allow  your  interest  in  me  to  lead 
you  into  running  any  risks." 

"  Well,  that  would  be  a  show  of  wisdom  on  the  law 
makers'  part,  to  attempt  to  deal  with  a  case  that  a  woman 
like  you  has  been  trying  to  manage  for — well,  a  few  short 
years  at  least.  That  would  be  trying  a  woman  a  little 
too  hard  to  punish  her  for  what  she  is  trying  her  utmost 
to  overcome.  With  all  their  powers  of  oppression  men 
will  never  bring  the  law  to  that." 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

MRS.    T,  RICV'S    FIRST    VISIT    TO    THE    COUNTRY. 

OX  Tuesday  morning  at  an  early  hour,  the  Wilkins' 
carriage  was  at  the  gate,  waiting  to  take  Mrs.  Grey 
out  to  make  her  acquaintance  with  the  country  adjoining 
Cloverdale,  and  to  give  her  first  lesson  in  that  home 
which  was  to  be  such  an  important  feature  in  her  after 
life.  The  two  boys  had  been  sent  for  her.  They  were 
handsome  lads, — John  aged  fifteen,  William,  seventeen, — 
lads  in  whom  the  consciousness  of  approaching  manhood 
was  carried  with  a  quiet  dignity,  rather  than  in  a  self- 
asserting  way.  They  had  been  sent  for  their  teacher  to 
give  them  an  opportunity  to  overcome  any  shyness  that 
they  might  feel  in  her  presence. 

They  stood  before  her  with  an  air  in  which  modesty 
and  deference  were  blended,  an  air  that  was  the  reflection 
of  a  regard,  such  as  only  a  noble  spirit  can  hold.  They 
had  been  living  in  an  atmosphere  in  which  an  unworthy 
sentiment,  unless  a  very  stubborn  weed,  would  hardly 
have  room  to  exist.  This  was  due  not  only  to  a  father's 
life  and  training,  but  to  a  mother's  influence — an  influence 
which  was  as  a  living  presence  about  them,  although 
their  recollections  of  that  gentle  parent  were  faint.  She 
had  been  dead  for  twelve  years.  They  had  only  a 
dreamy  remembrance  of  a  sweet,  patient  face  bending 
over  them,  and  of  a  bosom  upon  which  their  baby  sor 
rows  were  soothed.  But  that  would  have  been  all  ;  and 
even  that  might  have  faded  from  their  youthful  minds 
had  not  their  father  ever  kept  her  image  before  them  in 
such  a  way  as  could  not  fail  to  leave  its  impression  there. 

Xothing   had   so   far   hindered   him   from   taking    them 

12  (l85) 


1 86  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

once  a  week  to  the  place  which  was  so  sacred  to  him,  a 
quiet  place  in  the  village  church-yard  where  lay  all  that 
was  once  his  honored  wife  and  the  mother  of  his  boys. 
Here  he  would  bring  them  to  talk  to  them  of  her.  This, 
together  with  his  own  manner,  implanted  in  their  hearts 
a  deep-rooted  respect  for  her  memory  that  would  be  a 
guiding  star  through  life,  and  would  ever  be  reflected  in 
their  bearing  toward  others. 

"  My  sons,"  he  would  say  while  standing  with  them 
beside  that  silent  grave,  "  whenever  you  are  about  to 
forget  yourself  in  the  presence  of  a  lady,  remember  your 
mother,  and  even  though  you  may  meet  some  who  are 
not  worthy  of  the  regard  that  she  wras,  never  treat  any  in 
a  way  that  would  grieve  her  heart." 

This  training,  which  was  after  all  only  the  outcome  of 
the  ruling  sentiment  in  his  own  life,  that  of  a  deep  re 
gard  for  all  womankind,  soon  manifested  itself  in  the 
boys'  treatment  of  their  little  girl  playmates.  They 
knew  that  if  they  had  a  little  sister  they  would  have  to 
act  about  right  toward  her,  as  they  expressed  it,  and,  un 
like  many  of  their  associates,  acted  accordingly. 

Mrs.  Grey  could  not  fail  to  appreciate  their  manner  to 
ward  her,  not  but  what  this  was  her  native  element,  but 
if  you  want  not  only  the  act,  but  alike  the  motive  appre 
ciated,  show  a  kindness  toward  a  worthy  object. 

After  the  two  boys  stood  by  hats  in  hand  until  their 
future  teacher  had  time  to  enter  the  carriage  and  take 
the  back  seat,  they  seated  themselves  before,  and  soon 
the  horses,  which  were  a  little  restive  in  spite  of  their 
accumulated  flesh,  were  speeding  along.  The  road  over 
which  they  passed  was  almost  level,  but  to  the  right 
there  was  a  downward  slope  which  led  to  the  river.  This 
was  so  far  from  the  highway  that  only  here  and  there  the 
water  could  be  seen  glittering  through  the  trees  and 


MRS.  GREY'S  FIRST  VISIT  TO  THE  COUNTRY.        187 

shrubbery,  which  had  just  changed  their  robes  of  sober 
green  for  the  gayer  tints  of  autumn.  The  equinoxial 
winds  were  trying  vainly  to  rob  them  of  their  variegated 
splendor,  but  they,  like  so  many  well  trained  matrons, 
bowed  and  courtesied  at  the  storm  king's  lavish  atten 
tion,  but  clung  tenaciously  to  their  beautiful  colored  ap 
parel,  which  could  not  have  failed  to  please  the  heart  of 
madam  tree. 

Nature  had  indeed  been  unstinted  in  its  distribution  of 
hues  and  shades,  and  the  oak,  maple  and  butternuts  were 
resplendent  in  all  their  glory,  while  here  and  there  a 
giant  sycamore  lifted  up  its  ghost -like  trunk,  which 
seemed  a  fit  parent  to  the  leaves  which  even  the  smiles 
of  Indian  summer  could  not  coax  into  a  rosier  hue. 

Across  the  river  the  slope  was  not  so  gradual  after  it 
had  extended  a  half  mile  from  the  lowest  point,  but  rose 
in  such  an  abrupt  manner  that  the  eye  could  reach  across 
the  tops  of  waving  trees  and  see  green  fields  beyond,  and 
still  farther  on  another  stretch  of  many-colored  timber 
land.  On  a 'slight  prominence  the  eye  could  extend  over 
a  wide  area  of  country,  over  which  were  spread  the  fields 
upon  which  could  be  seen  not  only  the  fruits  of  this 
year's  labor,  cut  and  neatly  shocked,  but  a  fair  outlook 
for  next  year's  crop.  And  these  were  interspersed  by 
groups  of  gay  sentinels  of  the  forest. 

Mary  Grey  not  only  drank  in  great  draughts  of  pure 
morning  air  but  every  foot  of  the  beautiful  scenery. 
Nestled  among  the  trees  was  a  mill.  This  was  almost 
concealed  from  the  eyes  of  the  passer-by,  but  it  had  been 
built  so  far  from  the  water's  edge  that  in  order  to  supply 
the  wheel  with  the  necessary  water  to  turn  it,  an  artificial 
lake  had  been  formed  by  forcing  the  water  from  the  river 
into  a  basin.  This  was  plainly  visible.  Upon  its  surface 
a  drove  of  swan-necked  geese  were  sailing  along  in  all 


1 88  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

their  majestic  pride,  while  a  flock  of  more  active  Pekin 
ducks  were  manifesting  not  only  their  industrious  habits 
but  alike  their  love  for  their  natural  element  by  diving 
here  and  there  beneath  its  surface  (upon  \vhich  the  sun 
was  shining  so  brightly  as  to  almost  dazzle  the  eyes  of 
the  beholder),  and  then  raise  their  graceful  necks  in  such 
a  way  as  to  cause  the  \vater  to  flow  down  over  their 
glossy  backs,  raise  themselves  only  to  immediately  go 
under  again. 

The  boys  slackened  the  speed  of  the  horses  so  as  to 
give  Mrs.  Grey  ample  time  to  enjoy  the  scene.  A  little 
distance  from  here  the  river,  in  its  serpentine  course, 
flowed  quite  near  the  road,  as  if  to  coquette  with  the 
passers-by,  and  then  off  and  away  to  the  north  even  far 
ther  than  before. 

After  passing  all  the  scenery  that  could  possibly  be 
crowded  into  three  miles  of  country  road  anywhere,  they 
arrived  at  their  destination.  This  was  much  too  soon  to 
suit  one  of  the  occupants  of  the  carriage,  at  least.  The 
rarity  of  such  a  pleasure,  added  to  her  natural  love  of  the 
country  (or  a  place  where  nature  has  room  and  oppor 
tunity  to  exhibit  the  products  of  her  wonderful  genius), 
gave  her  a  pleasure  whose  keenness  is  seldom  afforded  to 
a  more  worldly  mind.  But  the  drive  was  over,  and  she 
almost  sighed  as  the  carriage  stopped  at  a  large  iron  gate. 
Her  attention,  however,  was  soon  fixed  upon  the  grounds 
that  they  were  entering.  The  gate  opened  into  a  grav 
eled  drive,  which  wound  its  crooked  course  around  one 
side  of  the  house,  and  then  down  the  slope  to  the  stables 
beyond.  The  house  was  a  large  gray  stone  structure, 
with  white  stone  steps  leading  to  a  small  verandah.  The 
windows  were  high  and  small,  which  plainly  showed  that 
the  house  had  never  been  modernized ;  which  only  served 
to  lend  to  the  house  an  added  charm  in  the  eyes  of  this 
anything  but  modern  little  ladv. 


MRS.  GREY'S  FIRST  VISIT  TO  THE  COUNTRY.        189 

The  younger  of  the  two  boys  assisted  her  in  alighting 
from  the  carriage,  and  then  conducted  her  along  a  short 
footpath  and  up  the  stone  steps  to  the  door,  which 
opened  into  a  spacious  hall.  There  they  were  met  by 
"  Aunt  Minnie,"  as  the  boys  were  wont  to  call  her,  one 
who  could  not  long  be  spared  by  either  of  the  boys. 
Thus  relieved  of  his  charge,  the  sunny-faced  boy  went  to 
help  his  older  and  graver  brother  to  put  away  the  horses, 
which  had  lost  much  of  their  superfluous  life  and  spirits 
and  were  glad  to  get  back  to  the  stable. 

"  I  like  her,"  said  impulsive  John,  "and  know  that  I 
will  learn  more  from  her  than  I  did  from  that  cross  old 
Herr  Professor,  who  always  had  his  pencil  ready  to  rap 
us  across  the  knuckles." 

"  She  seems  very  nice  and  1  have  no  doubt  that  I  shall 
like  her  very  well,  but  my  learning  will  depend  more 
upon  her  playing  and  skill  as  a  teacher,"  said  the  older 
brother. 

They  found  her  trying  the  piano  when  they  entered  the 
parlor,  but  she  soon  announced  herself  as  ready  for  the 
lessons.  Before  the  two  hours  were  over,  although  not 
quite  so  enthusiastic,  Will  was  as  certain  as  Johnny  that 
their  father  had  been  fortunate  in  securing  Mrs.  Grey. 

After  dinner,  a  meal  which  consisted  of  such  things  as 
a  country  gentleman  knows  how  to  produce  on  a  well- 
tilled  farm,  Mr.  YVilkins  said,  with  an  affectionate  look  at 
his  baby  son  : 

"  Johnny,  if  Mrs.  Grey  does  not  object  to  a  little  walk, 
you  might  take  her  down  into  the  ravine;  and  then,  if 
she  cares  to  go  further,  you  can  take  her  on  down  to  the 
river.  Most  people  seem  to  think  the  ravine  worth  see 
ing,  and  if  you  are  sure-footed  and  do  not  object  to  a 
little  careful  climbing,  you  do  not  need  to  walk  so  far  to 
reach  the  bottom,"  he  said,  turning  to  Mrs.  Grey. 


1 90  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

"  I  shall  be  delighted  to  go,"  was  her  grateful  answer, 
"  and  am  neither  afraid  of  walking  or  climbing."  And 
soon  she  with  her  sturdy  champion  were  on  their  way ; 
but  not  before  she  heard  Mr.  Wilkins  caution  the  little 
guide  to  be  very  careful  of  his  charge,  and  not  to  keep 
her  out  until  she  became  too  tired,  but  to  turn  back  when 
she  began  to  show  signs  of  fatigue.  She  was  not  long  in 
discovering  that  this  advice  had  hardly  been  necessary, 
for  although  he  possessed  the  untiring  feet  of  a  boy  of 
that  age,  he  was  far  from  judging  her  power  of  endurance 
by  his  own,  but  instead  was  considerate  far  beyond  his 
years. 

The  ravine,  as  they  called  it,  was  on  the  west  side  of 
the  house ;  but  the  word  was  somewhat  of  a  misnomer, 
for  it  was  one  of  nature's  excavations  in  the  level  earth, 
and  began  with  a  perpendicular  wall  about  fifty  feet  deep 
and  was  at  this  end  one  hundred  feet  across.  The  end 
and  the  sides  for  two  hundred  feet  were  overhung  with 
shelving  rocks,  over  which  the  water  trickled  here  and 
there  in  musical  little  streams.  Wherever  the  water  did 
not  reach,  and  vegetation  could  possibly  gain  a  foothold, 
ferns  and  lichen  clung  to  the  rocks  in  luxuriant  profusion. 
The  bottom  near  the  walls  was  covered  with  loose,  moss- 
grown  rocks,  but  in  the  center  the  earth  was  covered 
with  turf  and  a  variety  of  mosses,  with  here  and  there  a 
shrub,  and  a  few  stunted  trees,  whose  tops  reached  just 
above  the  level  of  the  earth  above  and  seemed  to  be  wav 
ing  their  arms  for  help,  to  interest  some  one  in  their  be 
half  to  help  raise  them  from  their  low  estate,  so  that  they 
might  be  enabled  to  hold  up  their  heads  among  their 
sister  trees.  But  some  of  them  had  grown  old  in  their 
vain  attempt  to  extricate  themselves  from  the  depths  in 
which  they  had  lived,  and,  from  the  decayed  condition 
of  their  trunks,  it  was  plainly  to  be  seen  that  old  Father 


MRS.  GREY'S  FIRST  VISIT  TO  THE  COUNTRY.        191 

Time  was  swiftly  preparing  them  for  not  a  higher  station, 
but  for  that  change  which  writes  "  finis  "  over  many  a 
higher  aim  and  nobler  ambition  than  was  ever  enter 
tained  in  tree  life.  The  depth  of  the  ravine  grew  less  as 
the  earth  above  sloped  gently  to  the  river,  which  flowed 
about  a  quarter  of  a  mile  to  the  north  of  the  house,  and 
before  it  reached  that  point  the  whole  slope  came  down 
to  the  level  of  the  bottom  of  the  ravine. 

The  two  pleasure  seekers  went  down  the  hill  to  where 
the  weeds  and  underbrush  began  to  grow  along  the  sides 
of  the  steep  descent.  Here  Mary  Grey  expressed  herself 
as  ready  to  climb  down.  Her  companion  would  have 
taken  her  to  an  easier  if  not  a  safer  place,  but  was  none 
the  less  pleased  when  she  said  :  "  Oh,  no  ;  I  like  to  do 
things  in  which  I  must  exert  myself  to  the  utmost,  and 
you  know  that  climbing  must  be  a  little  dangerous  to  be 
interesting." 

The  little  fellow  walked  ahead,  only  now  and  then 
turning  to  help  his  companion  over  some  particularly 
steep  place  or  loose  rock.  Kven  this  would  have  been 
unnecessary  had  he  known  how  sturdy  and  adapted  to 
climbing  she  was.  His  hand  was  offered  in  such  a  con 
fident  way  that  she  accepted  it  more  as  an  appreciation 
of  his  manliness.  She  could  see  that  his  dignity  was  not 
assumed,  but  innate;  and  as  such  it  was  the  manifestation 
of  the  spirit  that  was  inspired  in  his  heart  by  his  father's 
words:  "My  sons,  when  you  are  about  to  lorget  your 
selves  in  your  conduct  toward  a  lady,  remember  your 
mother."  This  would  not  only  have  the  effect  to  make 
him  curb  his  boisterous  nature  when  in  their  presence 
while  a  boy,  but  would  make  him  kind  and  attentive  to 
the  sex  to  which  his  mother  belonged  during  his  whole 
after  life.  That  this  was  not  one  of  the  tits  of  attentive- 
ness  to  which  all  boys  are  subject — those  spasmodic 


192  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

attacks  which  are  so  soon  superseded  by  one  of  total  ab 
straction  and  indifference — was  evident  to  his  companion, 
and  she  thought:  "  He  must  not  only  be  endowed  with 
a  noble  nature,  but  must  have  been  reared  in  an  air  of 
thoughtfulness  and  affection." 

When  they  had  reached  terra  firma,  they  went  back  to 
the  southern  terminus  of  the  wTrinkle  which  nature  in 
one  of  its  savage  moods  had  indented  upon  the  visage  of 
old  Mother  Earth,  and  stood  for  some  time  watching  the 
water  trickle  down  the  sides,  over  the  loosely  hanging 
rocks.  Those  minute  streams  all  collected  into  a  pool 
against  the  southern  wall,  and  this  \vith  the  earth,  that 
was  blue  in  some  sections  and  chalky  white  in  others, 
and  crumbled  out  from  under  the  shelves  of  rocks,  formed 
a  bed  of  ooze  the  consistency  of  mortar. 

The  rocks  here  were  very  slippery  and  necessitated  the 
greatest  caution  in  approaching  the  slough ;  but  they 
were  repaid  by  any  risk  that  they  might  have  run,  for 
just  as  they  were  dra \ving  near  a  mass  of  loose  earth  and 
small  stones  came  crumbling  down  the  blue  side  and  fell 
into  the  yielding  mass.  The  boy  took  a  stick  and  began 
to  turn  over  the  stones,  when  an  exclamation  of  delight 
fell  from  his  lips.  He  stooped  and  picked  out  a  round 
form  about  the  size  of  a  shelled  walnut,  and  wiped  off 
the  slime  and  dirt  with  such  grass  and  leaves  as  he  could 
reach  from  where  he  stood. 

"  I  have  been  hunting  for  trilobites  all  summer,"  he 
said,  "but  this  is  the  first  time  that  I  have  been  lucky 
enough  to  find  one." 

Thus  encouraged,  he  began  to  look  further,  but  there 
were  no  mo^  to  be  found  ;  so  he  had  to  be  content  with 
one  of  those  little  creatures,  which  only  the  ravages  of 
time  succeed  in  bringing  from  their  sepulchre,  where 
they  have  lain  for  countless  ages  undisturbed.  But  after 


MRS.  GREY'S  FIRST  VISIT  TO  THK  COUNTRY.        193 

the  vast  lapse  of  time  they  are  brought  forth  with  a 
power  of  resistance  such  as  they  never*  enjoyed  during 
their  lives.  Thus  God  has  preserved  the  records  (to  be 
discovered  in  his  own  good  time )  of  the  innumerable  rev 
olutions  that  this  earth  of  ours  has  undergone — records 
that  are  intelligible  to  those  who  seek  after  truth. 

After  the  two  had  made  sure  that  there  was  nothing 
more  of  interest  to  be  found  at  this  point,  they  made 
their  way  slowly  toward  the  river,  stopping  here  and 
there  to  pluck  a  fern  or  gather  a  bit  of  the  moss,  which 
was  not  only  beautifying  the  rocks  and  trees  but  the 
solid  ground  as  well.  So  that  by  the  time  they  had 
reached  the  level  ground  they  had  not  only  filled  the 
basket  that  the  boy  had  brought  along  for  that  purpose, 
but  his  pockets  and  hands  as  well,  besides  a  large  bunch 
of  ferns  and  autumn  leaves  which  Mary  Grey  persisted 
in  carrying  in  spite  of  his  protestations. 

They  walked  along  the  bank  of  the  river  for  some  dis 
tance  and  watched  the  swiftly  flowing  stream,  and  then 
started  toward  the  house  on  a  new  route.  This  was 
across  the  beautiful  wooded  pasture  land  which  extended 
from  one  end  of  the  Colonel's  land  to  the  other  and  from 
the  stables  to  the  water's  edge.  Here  the  gentle,  mild- 
eyed  Jerseys,  which  were  his  especial  pride,  were  con 
tentedly  feeding  upon  the  crisp,  new  grass  which  the  late 
autumn  rains  had  encouraged  into  luxuriance,  and  were 
la/.ily  switching  the  flies. 

I  have  scarcely  touched  a  cow  since  I  left  my  country 
home,  when  I  was  just  sixteen  years  of  age,"  said  Mrs. 
Grey.  "  I  must  give  that  beautiful  creature  one  pat." 
Hut  she  was  far  from  being  satisfied  witjjppne  touch  of 
the  silken  hide,  and  stood  stroking  and  fondling  her 
while  she  manifested  her  approval  by  rubbing  her  black 
and  yellow  nose  against  her  sleeve. 


IQ4  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

By  this  time  the  sun  in  its  western  course  gave  warn 
ing  that  the  already  much  shortened  afternoon  was 
several  hours  old,  and  they  hastened  their  steps  for  the 
remainder  of  the  distance ;  but  by  the  time  that  the}*  had 
reached  the  house  it  was  already  four  o'clock,  so  after 
partaking  of  a  hurried  lunch  the  carriage  was  brought  to 
the  door  and  the  boys  were  preparing  to  take  their  guest 
back  to  the  village. 

"  Oh,  Mrs.  Grey,  I  had  almost  forgotten  our  trilobite. 
Is  it  not  a  perfect  one  ? "  said  Johnny,  going  down  into 
his  pocket  and  producing  the  little  mollusk  for  inspection. 

"It  is  about  the  best  one  that  we  have  found  on  the 
place,"  said  his  father,  returning  it  to  him.  "  You  may 
give  it  to  Mrs.  Grey  as  a  souvenir  of  her  first  visit  to  our 
place,"  he  went  on,  turning  kindly  toward  that  lady  as  he 
spoke. 

"  I  intended  that  it  should  be  hers ;  I  was  only  carry 
ing  it  to  the  house  for  her,"  said  the  boy,  laying  the  relic 
into  Mrs.  Grey's  hand.  "  You  are  welcome.  It  was  just 
as  much  yours  as  mine,  anyway,"  he  said  as  she  thanked 
him. 

"  You  have  all  been  so  kind  to  me,  and  I  have  passed 
the  day  so  happily,"  she  said,  turning  to  the  little  group 
with  a  world  of  gratitude  in  her  eyes,  "  that  I  hardly 
know  how  to  express  my  thanks." 

"  The  only  demonstration  of  gratitude  that  we  ask  for 
on  your  part,  is  that  you  enjoy  yourself  to  the  utmost  on 
every  visit  that  you  make  to  our  place,"  said  Aunt  Min 
nie.  "  I  wish  you  a  pleasant  drive  back  to  town." 

"  You  need  not  drive  back  over  the  same  road  by 
which  you  c^jie  this  morning,  boys,"  said  Colonel  Wil- 
kins.  "You  can  give  the  lady  an  opportunity  to  see  the 
country  from  the  other  side  of  the  river." 

"  O  no ;   I  believe  that  I  would  rather  go  back  by  the 


MRS.  GREY'S  FIRST  VISIT  TO  THE  COUNTRY.        195 

same  road  over  which  we  came.  I  do  not  believe  that  I 
would  ever  care  to  go  any  other,"  said  Mrs.  Grey  enthu 
siastically. 

"  The  way  you  came,"  said  Colonel  Wilkins,  "  is  the 
short  cut,  and  you  can  go  over  it  many  times  yet,"  and 
he  smiled  at  her  earnest  face,  "  and  I  do  not  believe  that 
you  will  be  disappointed  if  you  do  go  the  other  way." 

She  offered  no  further  resistance,  and  soon  they  were 
on  their  way  along  the  north  road.  They  viewed  the 
same  landscape  that  they  had  seen  in  the  morning,  only 
from  a  different  point  of  view,  but  it  was  none  the  less 
interesting  and  beautiful.  The  sun  in  its  Indian  summer 
splendor  was  Hearing  the  horizon,  and  its  rays  were  slant 
ing  over  the  tops  of  the  red  and  yellow  trees,  and  was 
making  them  look  like  a  vast  bed  of  quivering  coals. 
Farther  down  was  a  dark  line  which  marked  the  river, 
which  was  mostly  in  the  shadows  of  the  big  sycamores 
that  lined  the  banks  and  grew  to  the  water's  edge. 
About  midway  between  the  highway  and  the  river  there 
was  a  tremendous  commotion  in  the  tree  tops,  where  the 
blackbirds  were  holding  one  of  their  annual  series  of 
meetings,  and  seemed  to  be  in  their  most  garrulous  man 
ner  discussing  pro  and  con  the  advisability  of  starting 
immediately  for  quarters  where  the  weather  could  be 
relied  upon.  They  appeared  to  be  doing  all  their  voting 
by  acclamation,  and  most  of  the  sly  chaps  succeeded  in 
getting  in  three,  four  or  a  half  dozen  votes  apiece.  When 
this  was  discovered,  each  one  seemed  to  be  taking  it  upon 
himself  to  restore  order  and  decorum,  and  since  what  is 
everybody's  business  is  nobody's  business,  they  presented 
a  very  noisy  meeting.  After  vainly  trying  to  decide  the 
weight}'  matter  under  consideration  at  once,  the}'  voted 
an  adjournment,  the  assembly  to  meet  in  another  part  of 
the  woods  later  on,  where  they  could  no  doubt  come  to  a 


196  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

much  speedier  agreement.  After  they  had  dismissed 
themselves,  they  flew  away  together,  but  there  were 
nevertheless  man}-  expressions  of  dissatisfaction  and  vex 
ation  as  they  went.  They  flew  across  the  road  and  di 
rectly  over  the  heads  of  our  friends,  and  there  seemed  to 
be  no  end  to  the  now  thoroughly  boistrous  medley,  who 
seemed  to  be  trying  to  fully  determine  the  next  place  of 
meeting  as  they  went,  and  from  all  appearances  this  was 
no  easy  matter. 

"  It  \vould  be  hard  to  tell  which  view  is  the  most  beau 
tiful,"  said  Mary  Grey  in  answer  to  a  question  from  one 
of  the  boys.  "  No  wonder  that  your  father  was  confident 
that  I  would  enjoy  this  drive,  but  I  believe  that  I  like  the 
south  road  best  after  all,  where  there  is  a  nearer  view  of 
the  river.  Distance  may  lend  enchantment  to  some,  but 
there  are  so  many  things  just  out  of  reach  and  sight  in 
this  world.  Do  you  know  that  I  sometimes  wish  we 
could  get  a  sight  of  heaven  to  encourage  us  when  we 
grow  weary?  And  then  it  would  guide  us  to  take  the 
only  safe  and  sure  way.  If  we  had  not  Christ's  love  to 
illuminate  our  journey  we  would  indeed  be  groping  in 
the  dark." 

This  was  said  more  to  herself  than  to  her  listeners, 
and  consequently  called  for  no  answer.  The  drive  was 
soon  over.  Oh,  what  a  happy,  care-free  day  it  had  been- 
Her  friends  noticed  the  color  on  her  cheeks,  and  the 
brightness  of  her  eyes,  and  were  pleased. 

"  It  works  like  a  charm,"  they  thought.  "  Some  of 
her  sadness  \vill  wear  away  in  time,  and  she  will  be 
happy  in  a  degree."  They  asked  her  to  play  and  sing,  a 
request  with  which  she  complied  at  once,  but  she  soon 
excused  herself  and  went  to  her  own  room.  Her  exer 
cise  in  climbing  and  walking,  and  the  drive  through  the 
bracing  autumn  air,  were  beginning  to  tell  upon  her,  and 
the  drowsy  god  was  fast  gaining  the  mastery. 


MRS.  GREY'S  FIRST  VISIT  TO  TIIK  COUNTRY.        197 

The  experience  of  the  day  had  had  the  effect  to  dispel 
all  weariness  of  heart  and  brain,  and  had  left  in  its  stead 
only  a  physical  weariness,  such  as.  is  only  known  to  a 
healthy  body.  But  the  most  perfect  health  demands  the 
most  profound  rest,  and  usually  asserts  its  claims  in  such 
a  way  as  to  compel  acquiesence.  So  after  placing  her 
self  in  the  hands  of  her  God  in  a  simple  petition,  she 
soon  had  her  head  upon  her  pillow. 

"  I  know  that  Robert  would  be  glad  to  know  how  well 
I  enjoyed  this  day,"  she  thought,  and  then  dropped  into 
such  a  sleep  of  restfullness  and  peace  as  many  sin- 
hardened,  care-burdened  soul  would  give  worlds  to  enjoy. 

Beautiful  thought,  that  the  path  of  rectitude  will  in 
sure  for  us,  through  a  clear  conscience,  such  rare  jewels 
as  ail  the  combined  wealth  of  the  world  fail  to  buy. 


CHAPTER  XIX. 

THE    CONVERSATION. 

WINTER  was  here.  The  old  storm  king  had  come 
on  his  trip  from  the  North  and  brought  with  him 
his  usual  array  of  attendants,  and  the  cortege  had  brought 
death  and  destruction  in  its  train.  Jack  Frost  had  played 
sad  havoc  among  the  smaller  vegetation.  He  had  greet 
ed  them  coldly,  and  there  were  none  so  bold  that  they 
could  long  bear  up  under  his  icy  manner,  but  hung  their 
heads  in  humble  submission  to  his  will,  and  were  soon 
withered  by  his  scorn.  Then  when  young  whirlwind 
could  stop  long  enough  in  his  gambols  among  the  tree 
tops,  where  he  was  without  ceremony  robbing  them 
branch  and  twig  of  their  vestage  and  scattering  the 
leaves  in  total  abandon  to  the  ground,  to  bestow  his  ex 
alted  attention  upon  anything  that  grew  so  near  the 
earth,  he  gathered  the  blackened  and  forsaken  flora  in 
his  arms  sublime,  and  tossed  them  unfeelingly  upon  an 
unseemly  pile,  or  in  a  winrow  along  some  unpretentious 
fence.  Then  the  merciless  sleet  descended  until  the 
grass  and  flowers,  which  had  so  recently  been  the  pride 
of  the  eye,  were  soaked  to  the  heart,  then  frozen  into  a 
solid  mass,  there  to  lie,  so  that  by  the  time  the  next  sum 
mer's  sun  has  softened  it  with  its  rays,  it  has  undergone 
the  process  of  change  which  nature  has  decreed  and  again 
adds  to  the  renewed  splendor  of  the  earth's  verdure. 

Now  and  then  a  belated  bird,  one  that  the  great  army 
of  summer  songsters  had  left  behind  them  in  their  south 
ward  flight,  would  twitter  faintly  or  pipe  shrilly,  as  if  in 
distress,  to  show  that  one  of  the  forces  of  that  giant  from 

(198) 


THE    CONVERSATION.  199 

the  snowbound  regions  had  been  brought  to  play  upon 
them,  and  had  tried  to  penetrate  their  coats  of  down. 

And  from  the  number  of  great  coats,  furs  and  mufflers 
that  had  been  brought  from  their  summer  quarters,  one 
would  be  led  to  judge  that  God's  highest  type  of  fauna, 
the  genus  homo,  was  not  exempt  from  his  majesty's 
chilling  influence,  but  the  greatest  precaution  was  no  bar 
against  his  strenuous  efforts,  and  the  November  blasts 
went  piercing  through  the  thickest  apparel,  on  through 
the  shivering  flesh  to  the  very  bone.  Could  it  ever  have 
been  so  penetrating  in  the  dead  of  winter?  It  must  surely 
be  colder  than  the  thermometer  registers.  So  the  people 
hurried  along  to  the  more  congenial  clime  of  their  hearth 
stone. 

Fred.  Alton  knew  that  further  delay  was  out  of  the 
question.  He  had  been  putting  off  their  return  to  the 
city  until  there  was  not  a  remnant  of  an  excuse  left.  His 
wife  was  visibly  affected  by  the  cold  and  damp,  but  yet 
he  was  loth  to  go. 

They  were  to  go  on  Thursday  evening,  and  it  was  al 
ready  Tuesday  evening.  They  had  all  been  out  to  Col 
onel  \Vilkins'  beautiful  country  house  that  da}-,  and  the 
Colonel,  his  sister,  and  his  two  sons  were  to  return  the 
visit  by  spending  the  next  day  in  town.  The  young  man 
had  not  enjoyed  the  day,  and  wished  that  he  could  avoid 
meeting  the  country  gentleman  on  the  next.  He  did  not 
like  the  keen,  penetrating  ga/.e  of  those  earnest  eyes. 
He  never  had  enjoyed  his  society  so  little  on  his  previous 
visits,  but  today  he  had  been  a  source  of  irritation  to  him. 
He  could  not  see  what  the  ladies  had  seen  about  him  to 
admire,  that  they  should  have  been  so  enthusiastic  on 
their  way  home.  He  had  entertained  them  as  only  a 
thorough  gentleman  knows  how,  but  it  seemed  that  those 
calm,  far-sighted  eves  were  ever  following  him.  He  was 


200  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

sitting  alone,  with  his  heart  at  war  with  the  fates,  when 
he  heard  the  sound  of  music.  He  was  soon  in  the  parlor 
and  standing  beside  the  player,  and  when  the  plump  but 
skillful  fingers  had  touched  the  last  key  he  put  up  his 
hand  in  an  authoritative  way  and  pulled  the  cover  over 
the  piano. 

"  I  thought  that  you  liked  music,"  said  Mar}7  Grey, 
looking  up  with  some  surprise  at  his  unusual  manner. 

"  Oh,  it  will  do  as  a  makeshift  for  people  who  have 
nothing  to  say  ;  but  I  think,  for  people  with  mind  and 
intelligence,  conversation  is  much  more  interesting." 

"  Do  you  mean  to  say  that  you  have  been  simply  tol 
erating  all  this  playing  that  we  have  been  doing?  Then 
it  was  wrong  to  pretend  to  enjoy  it  to  the  last." 

"  Oh,  it  is  nothing  to  be  so  serious  about,"  he  said, 
laughing  at  her  earnestness.  "  I  did  enjoy  it.  Of  course, 
I  always  did  prefer. some  women's  music  to  their  conver 
sation.  Indeed,  I  thought  that  that  gift  was  nature's 
apology  for  their  lack  of  conversational  powers." 

"  If  you  had  not  come  in  and  disturbed  me,  I  would  be 
playing  still,"  she  said,  quickly. 

"  I  was  just  about  to  say  that  with  you  it  is  different. 
Your  music,  no  doubt,  is  good,  but  your  talk  is  much 
better;  but  I  feel  too  cross  tonight  for  music  or  talk." 

"Then  why  did  you  come  in  at  all?"  she  said,  with 
more  trouble  than  resentment  in  her  eyes.  She  did  not 
like  praise  from  any  one,  much  less  a  man,  and  that  man 
a  comparative  stranger.  "  But  what  makes  you  so  cross?" 
she  said,  more  kindly.  "  Something  else  must  have  gone 
wrong.  I  don't  believe  that  your  wife  has  been  scolding 
you." 

"  Nothing  has  gone  wrong.  Everything  goes  so  pro- 
vokingly  right  with  me.  I  wish  my  wife  would  scold  me 
once  in  a  while.  It  would  break  up  the  monotonous 
rounds  of  life." 


THK    CONVERSATION.  2OI 

She  never  had  seen  him  in  such  a  humor,  and  she 
laugked  at  the  turn  his  mood  had  taken.  "  Who  ever 
heard  of  a  man  wishing  that  his  wife  would  turn  into  a 
shrew?  You  would  soon  be  glad  to  have  her  regain  her 
old  sweet  temper." 

"  I  would  not  even  like  to  imagine  myself  the  husband 
of  a  shrew.  I  would  not  even  figure  well  in  a  play  in 
that  role;  but  I  do  admire  women  with  pluck  and  spirit," 
he  said,  looking  at  her  keenly.  But  he  again  saw  that 
troubled,  questioning  look  in  her  eyes,  and  he  quickly 
turned  the  subject.  The  \veather,  he  thought,  will  be  a 
safe  topic. 

"  Mrs.  Grey,  are  you  sorry  or  glad  that  the  winter  is 
here  ?  " 

"  I  am  usually  ready  for  the  change  when  it  comes,, 
and  am  glad,"  was  her  answer. 

"  How  fortunate  you  are  to  be  in  possession  of  such  a 
contented  spirit.  You  are  certainly  thrice  blessed  by 
nature." 

"  But  I  am  not  always  so  wrell  satisfied  with  the  ways 
of  providence,"  she  said,  pathetically.  "  I  always  thought 
winter  the  happiest  season  of  the  year,  because  then  the 
family  ties  seem  bound  closer,  the  busiest  time  seems 
past,  and  the  family  circle  see  so  much  more  of  each 
other's  society.  Winter  always  did  suggest  long,  c  r/.y 
evenings  to  me." 

"Yes,  that  is  true,"  said  the  man,  meditatively;  "  but 
don't  you  know  that  while  happy  families  have  an  oppor 
tunity  for  increased  enjoyment  in  each  other's  society,  the 
unhappy  and  ill-assorted  are  also  thrown  more  together5 
During  the  cold,  winter  months  their  comfort  necessitates 
their  coming  into  closer  contact,  and  then  their  petty 
differences  develop  into  full-grown  brawls  and  fights. 
There  is  more  crime  in  winter  among  the  lower  classes 
i  ^ 


202  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

than  any  other  time.  And  then  the  opportunity  for  the 
unprincipled  and  the  attractions  for  the  unwary  feet  are 
greater  during  those  long  winter  nights." 

"  I  have  had  so  little  experience  with  crime  in  my  life 
that  I  had  hardly  given  that  a  thought,  but  I  have  been 
more  thoughtful  for  the  poor  and  needy.  Although  I  have 
seen  very  little  of  their  suffering,  I  have  often  wished  that 
I  could  share  my  own  comforts  with  them  when  the  win 
try  winds  are  blowing  and  food  and  fuel  are  high." 

"  You  may  well  wish  always  to  be  spared  the  sight  of 
the  privation  and  want  that  those  hard  winters  naturally 
occasion,  and  may  be  thankful  that  you  live  in  a  small 
place,  where  little  of  it  is  known.  It  is  more  conducive 
to  one's  own  peace  of  mind." 

"  I  feel  differently  about  it.  I  feel  that  it  would  be 
cowardly  in  me  to  remain  away  from  suffering  and  want 
simply  to  spare  myself,  if  I  could  in  any  way  help  them  ; 
but  if  I  should  go  among  them  in  my  present  circum 
stances,  I  would  soon  be  one  of  their  number  instead  of 
a  source  of  relief.  I  wish  that  I  had  some  of  the  money 
that  the  wealth}-  do  not  know  how  to  handle,  or  even  an 
opportunity  to  earn  more.  I  would  not  ask  those  unfor 
tunate  creatures  if  their  present  needs  were  brought 
about  by  misfortune  or  mismanagement ;  the  simple  fact 
that  they  were  hungry  and  had  nowhere  to  get  the  neces 
sary  food  would  be  enough.  I  would  make  it  my  life 
work.  I  feel  so  idle  and  helpless,  as  it  is.  When  I  have 
saved  a  little,  I  will  go  and  do  what  I  can,  be  it  little  or 
much." 

He  smiled  at  her  enthusiasm,  but  he  dealt  it  a  blow  by 
saying:  "You  will  never  earn  enough  to  give  anything 
away.  It  looks  out  of  place  for  a  woman  to  support  her 
self,  and  a  lady  who  has  friends  who  would  be  glad  to  do 
it  for  her  should  not  even  persist  in  doing  so." 


THE    CONVERSATION.  203 

"  As  long  as  I  am  able-bodied  I  would  not  let  a  brother 
or  sister  support  me,  no  matter  how  willing  and  able  they 
might  be,  much  less  a  lad}',  upon  whom  I  have  no  claim, 
like  your  sister.  As  long  as  I  have  health  I  expect  to 
help  not  only  myself,  but  others  that  are  less  fortunate. 
God's  plans  are  more  consistent.  He  would  not  have  put 
women  into  this  bus}"  world  and  denied  them  the  right 
to  share  the  many  duties  which  living  in  it  necessitates  ; 
much  less  would  He  have  given  them  equal  needs  with 
men,  without  giving  them  the  poor  privilege  of  supplying 
those  needs,  even  though  the  world  may  try  to  frown  it 
down.  The  time  will  come  —  nay,  must  come  —  when 
woman's  efforts  will  not  only  be  appreciated,  but  her 
rights  respected ;  when  a  woman  will  not  be  considered 
as  an  intruder,  much  less  an  invader,  in  any  of  the  occu 
pations  of  life,  but  a  co-worker,  and  without  the  stigma 
that  is  at  the  present  time  more  or  less  attached  to  the 
woman  who  toils  for  her  bread.  Are  we  of  less  value  to 
the  Creator  than  his  lower  animals  ?  He  has  not  inflicted 
upon  one  of  them  a  physical  necessity  without  giving 
them  not  only  the  instinct  but  the  opportunity  to  supply 
it." 

"  Let  it  be  right  or  wrong,  the  line  of  distinction  never 
theless  exists  between  the  woman  who  is  cared  for  and 
the  one  who  must  care  for  herself.  My  first  thought 
would  be  not  to  exert  my  puny  influence  against  this 
unwritten  law  (which,  however,  is  stronger  than  the  de 
cision  of  the  judge  of  any  supreme  bench),  but  to  avoid 
the  natural  consequence  of  violating  it ;  for  any  attempt 
at  trying  to  overcome  its  influence  would  be  like  attack 
ing  a  stone  fortress  with  a  pop-gun.  It  would  not  only 
disclose  the  hopelessness  of  the  attempt,  but  'also  the 
folly  of  one  so  inexperienced.  You  speak  as  if  my  sister 
was  the  onlv  friend  vou  had.  There  are  others  who 


204  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

would  no  doubt  help  you  to  avoid  a  life  which  could  not 
fail  to  become  burdensome  to  a  lady  of  refinement,  no 
matter  how  independent  her  notions  may  be." 

"  The  only  three  from  whom  I  would  have  accepted  aid 
are  dead.  They  were  my  husband  and  my  parents,"  she 
said  sadly,  without  looking  up.  "  But  I  don't  see  why  a 
lady  need  lose  her  refinement  or  be  less  a  lady  because 
providence  may  have  made  it  incumbent  upon  her  to 
maintain  herself;  and  I  can  not  see  why  a  woman,  whose 
existence  depends  upon  her  own  exertions  just  the  same 
as  an  industrious  man,  should  not  wield  a  better  influence 
upon  society,  for  no  brain  that  is  not  kept  busy  with 
worthy  aims  and  thoughts  is  proof  against  the  unworthy 
and  harmful." 

"  I  have  not  the  slightest  doubt  that  your  reasoning  is 
correct,  but  since  we  are  living  in  the  present  age  we 
must  deal  with  present  environments.  Women  are  not 
judged  by  the  world  by  what  their  moral  standard  or 
aims  might  be,  but  those  who  must  work  for  a  living  are 
supposed  to  be  like  men  :  willing  to  do  so  in  the  easiest 
possible  manner,  which  is  never  strictly  in  accordance 
with  right." 

"  I  know  that  from  a  worldly  point  of  view  we  are 
poor,  helpless  creatures,  but  God  in  our  weakness  has 
given  us  a  strength  that  will  prevail,  if  we  only  put  our 
trust  in  Him.  Man,  whose  judgment  is  fallible,  can  after 
all  only  exert  its  influence  over  time,  and  if  we  do  not 
get  our  just  dues  here,  God,  who  is  justice  itself,  will  give 
it  to  us  in  eternity.  And  since  we  are  put  into  this  world 
solely  to  prepare  for  the  next,  we  may  well  keep  up  our 
courage  and  struggle  on." 

"  If  riiy  trip  to  the  better  world  would  lead  me  over 
such  a  rocky  and  tedious  road,  I  am  afraid  that  I  would 
never  reach  mv  destination." 


THE    CONVERSATION.  205 

"  God's  ways  are  always  wise,  and  that  may  be  the 
reason  why  you  were  born  into  an  easy  life  ;  but  none  of 
us  will  reach  heaven  unless  we  show  ourselves  worthy  of 
it,  and  your  entrance  may  not  be  an  easy  one." 

He  looked  at  her  quickly  to  see  how  much  this  last 
remark  might  mean.  Did  she,  after  all,  have  the  power 
to  discern  his  thoughts  ?  But  he  could  see  that  she  did 
not  mean  to  be  personal ;  and  she  went  on  kindly : 

"  But  He  will  try  none  of  us  beyond  our  strength." 

"  Do  you  mean  that  those  men  and  women  who  fall  are 
not  tried  beyond  their  strength?" 

"  I  mean  that  to  those  who  put  their  trust  in  Him  he 
gives  his  sustaining  grace.  Were  it  not  so,  my  faith 
might  have  received  a  shock  from  which  it  \vould  never 
have  recovered." 

"  How  far  do  you  think  God's  sustaining  grace  will 
suffice  with  people  who  are  suffering  from  hunger  and 
cold  and  are  not  afforded  the  opportunity  to  provide  for 
themselves  honorably  ? " 

"  It  is  well  that  we  are  not  given  the  right  to  mete  out 
justice  to  each  other,  for  I  would  be  led  to  visit  the  in 
iquities  of  those  poor  unfortunates  upon  those  who  would 
have  an  abundance  and  to  spare,  were  their  lives  three 
times  as  long  as  they  are,  and  do  not  raise  a  hand  to  pre 
vent  the  wrong  into  which  others  are  helplessly  driven." 

"  That  is  rather  an  evasive  way  to  answer  my  question. 
Do  you  not  think  they  have  been  tried  beyond  their  pow 
ers  of  resistance?" 

"  They  have,  no  doubt ;  but  they  may  not  have  had 
their  trust  in  God.  And  besides,  they  may  not,  in  the 
past,  have  employed  the  talents  that  He  entrusted  them 
with,  to  provide  for  themselves.  If  they  had,  some  of 
them  might  have  avoided  their  present  needy  condition." 

The  man  smiled.    He  had  been  steadily  leading  toward 


206  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

this  point.  "  Then  if  their  present  circumstances  are  due 
to  their  own  carelessness  and  lack  of  thrift,  is  it  right, 
According  to  your  judgment,  that  they  should  expect  aid 
from  those  who  are  more  deserving?  " 

"  Circumstance  has  placed  a  great  many  in  possession 
of  wealth  who  \vould  not  have  it  if  it  had  depended  upon 
their  own  exertions  or  worth.  When  Christ  came  upon 
earth,  it  was  not  to  show  a  preference  for  the  worthy,  but 
it  was  the  unworthy  that  He  came  to  save.  Then  would 
we  not  be  holding  the  little  that  we  could  do  as  of  more 
importance  than  His  precious  life  by  denying  succor  to 
the  many  deserving  ones,  lest  \ve  might  give  aid  to  one 
who  did  not  deserve  it?  What  is  our  own  judgment 
compared  to  the  unalterable  Truth?" 

The  young  man  was  in  no  mood  to  hear  the  common 
place  talk  of  the  evening,  so  he  left  the  room  by  one  door 
just  as  the  rest  of  the  family  were  about  to  enter  by  an 
other.  He  could  see  that  Mrs.  Grey's  reasoning  was 
sound,  as  measured  by  the  laws  of  God  and  His  dealing 
with  His  unworthy  subjects.  He  could  also  see  that  she 
had  no  suspicion  of  the  point  that  he  had  tried,  at  differ 
ent  times,  to  lead  to  but  could  not  reach.  But  this  very 
shield  of  purity,  which  was  wrapped  so  closely  about  her, 
made  him  all  the  more  determined  to  the  achievement  of 
his  ends. 

Many  a  man  has  been  led  into  wrong  by  a  former  in- 
cumbrance  or  alliance,  and  the  time  might  not  be  far 
distant  \vhen  he  could  right  the  wrong. 

He  drew  a  letter  from  his  pocket.  "  I  wonder  which 
one  of  those  hags  masquerading  in  saints'  attire  wrote 
this.  They  thought  it  necessary  to  warn  my  wife  against 
an  unsuspecting  woman.  They  would  injure  her  and  .do 
her  irreparable  wrong  simply  through  jealous}*  and  spite. 
But  it  is  well  this  little  missive  reached  me  before  it  did 


THE    CONVERSATION.  2OJ 

its  destination,  for  should  her  suspicions  once  be  aroused 
it  would  be  hard  to  calm  them,  and  that  would  only 
make  existence  drearier ;  and  if  Mrs.  Grey  would  get  a 
hint  of  it,  I  would  never  see  her  again.  Her  very  inno 
cence  would  take  up  the  cry  of  alarm,  and  she  would  fly 
from  her  tormentor." 


CHAPTER  XX. 

THE    RETURN    TO    THE    CITY. 

THURSDAY  had  come  and  gone.  The  Altons  had 
gone,  and  the  old  peace  and  quiet  had  returned  to 
the  home  of  Mrs.  Ferris ;  and  with  it  had  come  the  sense 
of  relief  so  well  known,  no  matter  how  much  we  may 
regret,  at  the  time,  the  departure  of  our  guests.  It  is  not 
because  we  are  tired  of  their  society,  but  because  it  is  a 
comfort  to  be  alone  after  a  length)*  visit. 

Mrs.  Grey  had  received  an  urgent  invitation  to  make  a 
visit  to  the  city  during  the  holidays ;  something  she  did 
not  promise  to  do,  however.  "  As  much  as  I  would  be 
sure  to  enjoy  it,  I  must  deny  myself  the  pleasure  of  any 
thing  so  expensive.  Whenever  circumstances  place  me 
in  a  position  to  be  able  to  do  good  in  the  city  I  will  go, 
but  not  before  then." 

"  You  could  not  fail  to  do  good  wherever  you  go,"  said 
Mrs.  Alton.  "  You  have,  although  unintentionally,  made 
me  ashamed  of  my  helplessness,  and  my  husband  shall 
see  in  future  how  much  your  lesson  has  improved  me." 

"  She  could  not  fail  to  do  good  were  all  spirits  as  guilt 
less  as  yours,"  thought  her  husband,  looking  from  one  to 
the  other. 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Ferris  might  possibly  run  into  town  for  a 
short  visit  during  the  winter.  So,  with  man)-  good  wishes 
and  cordial  handshakes,  they  were  gone. 

.The  satisfaction  that  Mrs.  Alton  experienced  at  once 
more  being  in  her  own  home  was  unbounded.  She  was 
well  pleased  with  her  visit,  but  at  home  she  could  have 
the  undivided  attention  of  her  husband  without  appear 
ing  childish  and  unreasonable,  and  she  did  not  want  to 

(208) 


THE    RKTURX    TO    THK    CITY.  209 

l)e  that.  She  had  at  times,  in  a  helpless,  undefined  way, 
felt  the  disparagement  of  associating  with  one  who  was 
both  physically  and  intellectually  her  superior.  But  now 
she  was  at  home,  and  would  not  appear  so  insignificant 
in  her  husband's  eyes  ;  not  that  he  had  by  either  word  or 
sign  shown  to  her  that  he  had  noticed  the  difference,  but 
a  woman's  eyes  are  keener  when  she  loves,  and  she  tried 
vainly  to  shake  off  the  old  helplessness.  But  after  several 
futile  attempts  she  drifted  back  into  her  old  way,  which, 
after  all,  was  so  peaceful  and  happy,  and  she  allowed  her 
husband  to  wait  upon  her  more  than  ever.  She  seemed 
to  be  growing  weaker  ajid  her  ailment  to  be  taking  form. 
It  was  an  unusually  severe  winter,  and  was  not  only 
telling  upon  delicate  constitutions,  but  the  suffering 
among  the  poor  was  intense,  and  the  tender-hearted  lady 
was  pleased  with  the  unusual  interest  that  her  husband 
was  taking  in  all  the  attempts  to  relieve  the  want  and 
distress  which  a  cold  winter  makes  so  common  among 
the  poor  of  any  city. 

"  Some  of  the  philanthropists  are  raising  a  private  fund 
for  the  poor,  and  would  like  to  have  some  reliable  Chris 
tian  lady  to  take  charge  of  it  and  use  it  where  it  will  do 
the  most  good,"  Mr.  Alton  said  to  his  wife  one  day  late 
in  January.  "  You  know  there  are  still  three  months  of 
cold  weather  before  us.  Those  aid  societies  may  be  sys 
tematic,  but  their  system  fails  to  reach  the  most  needy, 
sometimes,  and  for  that  reason  this  little  sum  is  being 
raised.  I  believe  we  had  better  write  to  Mrs.  Grey  to 
come.  She  would  not  only  be  doing  good  to  others,  but 
would  receive  a  salary  besides." 

"  I  don't  believe  that  the  salary  would  be  any  induce 
ment  in  the  matter.  I  don't  believe  that  she  would  want 
to  be  paid  for  doing  good.  But  I  will  write  to  her  at  once. 
I  believe  she  would  be  happier,  and  it  would  help  her  to 
forget  her  sorrows." 


210  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

"  If  Mrs.  Grey  has  to  earn  her  own  living  long,  she 
will  begin  to  think  a  salary  very  much  of  an  inducement. 
As  much  as  her  pluck  and  self-confidence  are  to  be  ad 
mired,  she  need  not  try  to  give  me  the  impression  that 
all  that  keeps  her  from  moving  the  world  is  because  it 
did  not  need  a  change.  In  an  age  which  tries  the  bravery 
of  the  staunchest  hearted  of  the  men  who  must  work  for 
a  living,  a  lady  who  supports  herself  is  doing  more  than 
should  be  expected  of  her,  without  helping  others.  But 
when  you  mention  the  pay  that  she  is  to  receive,  you  had 
better  add  that  it  would  give  her  an  opportunity  to  ac 
complish  what  she  is  striving  for  in  a  shorter  time." 

"  I  never  heard  of  them  offering  a  salary  for  the  dis 
tribution  of  charity  before.  Usually  some  benevolently 
disposed  person  takes  it  upon  herself  or  himself.  But  I 
am  glad  for  Mrs.  Grey's  sake.  She  will  be  able  to  get 
away  from  Cloverdale  and  its  meddlesome  people  for  a 
time.  But,  Fred.,"  she  said,  as  a  new  thought  suggested 
itself,  "  this  income  will  only  be  temporary.  Can  she 
afford  to  give  up  her  pupils  ?  Her  present  employment, 
although  not  very  lucrative,  is  steady  and  sure." 

"  You  need  not  hesitate  to  write  on  that  account.  My 
sister  will  take  her  back,  and  I  have  no  doubt  that  Col 
onel  Wilkins  would  wait  on  her  a  year  if  necessary.  She 
only  has  two  others.  She  can  afford  to  lose  them.  I 
don't  believe  there  will  be  any  occasion  for  her  to  go 
back.  We  have  the  poor  always  with  us,  and  there  are 
plenty  of  kind-hearted  people  who  would  be  willing  to 
give  the  year  round,  if  they  had  any  assurance  that  their 
money  would  be  put  to  a  good  purpose." 

"  One  thing  I  must  know  before  I  write  to  her,  and 
that  is  that  she  shall  be  furnished  with  a  good  home  ;  or 
will  we  invite  her  to  make  her  home  with  us  ?  "  and  Mrs. 
Alton  looked  at  her  husband  as  if  she  was  asking:  his 


THE    RETURN    TO    THE    CITY.  211 

permission,  but  with  an  earnest  hope  that  he  would 
refuse  it. 

"  Well,  since  I  have  been  appointed  treasurer  and  gen 
eral  manager  of  this  little  project,  we  can  settle  that  part 
of  the  affair  to  suit  ourselves.  You  can  use  your  own 
pleasure  about  inviting  her  here.  In  deciding  this  ques 
tion,  however,  we  should  remember  that  she  entertained 
us  on  sufferance  once,  and  also  the  disagreeable  result  of 
her  kindness  to  us." 

"  I  have  not  forgotten,"  said  Mrs.  Alton,  "  and  I  would 
be  pleased  to  have  her  here  if  I  was  only  stronger;  but 
as  it  is,  it  is  so  nice  to  have  you  all  to  myself,  and  I 
believe  the  contrast  between  us  two  would  make  me  feel 
weaker  now,  and  might  have  a  deprecating  effect  upon 
me  in  the  eyes  of  my  husband,  and  you  know  I  could  not 
bear  that."  And  the  same  look  came  into  her  eyes  that 
they  had  had  once  before,  the  time  when  she  was  talking 
to  Mrs.  Grey  of  the  possibility  of  losing  her  husband. 
She  laid  her  slender,  transparent  little  hand  over  his 
much  larger  and  stronger  one  in  a  way  which  was  half 
confidence  and  half  entreat}'.  "  I  don't  want  to  be  child 
ish  or  selfish,  but  we  always  did  think  that  it  was  nicest 
to  be  alone.  Then,  we  don't  know — the  time  may  not  be 
long  that  we  will  be  permitted  to  remain  together,  and  I 
do  so  want  you  to  myself  while  it  lasts." 

This  was  the  first  time  Fred.  Alton  had  heard  his  wife 
talk  in  that  tone.  She  had  been  thinking  seriously  of  her 
illness,  even  though  it  had  seemed  that  she  would  drift 
on  toward  the  end  of  her  life  like  a  beautiful  butterfly 
and  be  light-hearted  and  happy  to  the  last.  The  thought 
smote  the  young  man  to  the  heart.  All  the  old  love  and 
tenderness  came  rushing  back  as  he  gathered  her  up  in 
his  strong  arms  and  laid  her  gently  upon  a  settee,  while 
he  knelt  before  her,  stroking  her  hands. 


212  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

"  Oh,  you  are  not  going  to  leave  me!  We  will  spend 
many  long,  happy  years  together.  I  will  not  leave 
you  go — I  will  hold  you  back!"  he  said,  almost  hope 
lessly,  as  he  looked  into  her  beautiful,  loving  eyes  and 
then  at  her  thin  face  and  emaciated  form. 

Death  had  indeed  marked  her  for  his  own.  It  might 
be  months,  or  even  years,  but  he  had  sent  his  advance 
agent  to  announce  his  approach,  and  the  language  of  the 
messenger  could  not  be  misunderstood. 

The  young  man  could  not  reproach  himself  for  any 
lack  of  kindness  toward  his  wife,  or  for  any  outward 
sign  of  difference  of  feeling,  but  he  knew  that  a  wild, 
undefined  fear  had  been  aroused  in  her  heart  on  several 
occasions,  as  if  she  had  by  womanly  intuition  divined 
that  her  helplessness  had  lately  begun  to  pall  upon  his 
patience,  and  feared  that  she  was  becoming  a  burden  to 
him ;  and  the  truth  of  her  suspicions  was  as  a  poisoned 
arrow  to  his  conscience.  He  had  known  her  before  he 
married  her,  and  his  choice  had  not  been  controlled  by 
any  outward  influence.  If  he  wanted  a  wife  with  more 
mind  and  energy,  he  should  not  have  married  her.  He 
should  have  left  her  in  the  counting-room  and  in  her 
home.  Some  other  man  would  have  married  her  that 
would  have  been  satisfied  with  her,  and  she  would  have 
been  happy.  And  then  the  charge  she  had  become  was 
partly  due  to  his  own  treatment  of  her.  He  had  acted 
toward  her  more  like  she  was  a  child  or  doll  than  an 
intelligent  companion.  Then,  in  his  remorse,  he  had 
arrived  at  the  same  conclusion  that  he  had  once  before : 
it  would  be  a  brute,  indeed,  who  would  neglect  her ;  and 
he  said  to  her  in  his  old  genial  tone : 

"  No,  we  will  not  invite  Mrs.  Grey  to  live  with  us ;  but 
it  is  not  because  you  are  going  to  die,  but  because  you 
are  going  to  live  and  we  would  rather  continue  our  old 


THE    RKTUKX    TO    TIIK    CITY.  213 

happy  life.  And  we  have  always  been  happy,  havn't  we? 
I  have  never  treated  you  in  a  way  to  cause  you  to  be 
otherwise,  have  I  ?  " 

"  You  have  always  been  kindness  itself,  and  I  don't  see 
how  I  could  possibly  have  been  happier,"  and  she  looked 
at  him  gratefully.  "  Only  make  me  as  happy  the  remain 
der  of  my  stay  here  and  I  will  be  satisfied,  should  my 
time  be  long  or  short;  and  I  would  not  try  to  put  a 
restraint  upon  your  conduct  when  I  am  gone." 

She  had  always  thought  to  ask  him  to  remain  single 
the  rest  of  his  life  for  her  sake,  and  she  hardly  knew  why 
she  spoke  as  she  did  ;  but  she  thought,  humbly,  "  How 
could  I  expect  to  be  that  much  to  him." 

Fred.  Alton  had  it  in  his  heart  to  tell  his  wife  not  to 
write  that  letter  to  Airs.  Grey ;  but,  he  thought,  that 
would  be  almost  an  acknowledgement  that  I  have  also 
noticed  the  contrast,  which  could  no  longer  fail  to  be 
painful  to  her.  So  the  letter  was  written — an  urgent 
request,  which  was  made  all  the  more  urgent  by  an  ap 
peal  to  her  sympathy  and  by  painting  in  glowing  letters 
the  gdted  she  could  accomplish  with  her  salary.  They 
wrote  nothing  about  the  home  that  she  should  occupy 
while  in  the  city,  thinking  that  could  be  attended  to 
later,  but  only  staled  the  case  plainly  and  asked  her  if  she 
could  not  be  induced  to  come  if  the  necessary  arrange 
ments  could  be  made. 

Although  the  physicians  could  find  no  trace  of  any  or 
ganic  disease,  Mrs.  Alton  continued  to  be  about  the  same  : 
like  a  house-plant  which  had  been  shielded  from  the  ele 
ments,  which  would  have  had  a  tendency  to  strengthen 
it,  until  it  was  too  late,  and  it  had  become  so  tender  and 
delicate  that  a  change  would  be  as  certain  death  as  a 
continuation  in  the  heated  atmosphere  and 
sunshine. 


CHAPTER  XXI. 
MARY  GREY'S  EXPERIENCE  AS  A  WRITER. 

A  VISIBLE  degree  of  abstraction  had  taken  posses 
sion  of  Mrs.  Grey  since  the  city  people's  departure. 
When  not  engaged  in  conversation,  she  seemed  to  be 
trying  to  solve  some  ponderous,  troublesome  problem — 
as,  indeed,  she  was.  She  was  thinking  over  and  over, 
"  Is  it  right  for  me  to  stay  here  and  enjoy  all  these  com 
forts,  when  so  many  of  God's  creatures  are  crying  vainly 
for  the  necessities  of  life?"  That  part  of  the  solution 
would  have  been  comparatively  easy,  but  then  came  the 
most  troublesome  part  of  the  enigma :  "  If  I  did  go,  how 
would  I  be  enabled  to  help  them  ?  It  would  be  next  to 
impossible  for  me  to  get  pupils  in  a  strange  place,  and 
how  else  could  I  earn  .enough  to  support  even  myself  ? " 

Then  a  new  thought  came  to  her.  She  had  always  had 
a  taste  for  literature.  In  her  school  days  her  compositions 
had  always  received  the  highest  praise.  Why  not  turn 
that  talent  into  good  account  ?  She  would  write  an  article 
on  some  interesting  subject  and  send  it  to  the  city  paper. 

She  chose  her  subject,  and  wrote  on  hopefully  to  the 
end.  When  she  had  finished,  she  was  satisfied  that  it 
was  fully  as  good  as  much  of  the  reading  matter  that  the 
daily  papers  contained.  She  showed  the  manuscript  to 
Mrs.  Ferris,  of  whom  she  had  made  a  confidante,  and 
that  lady  was  more  than  pleased  with  the  brightness  and 
thought  that  it  contained.  The  article  was  mailed,  and 
one  of  the  ladies  was  as  much  interested  as  the  other  in 
watching  the  papers  and  for  the  answer  to  her  letter. 

In  the  course  of  a  few  days  she  received  a  newspaper, 
and  the  same  mail  brought  a  letter  from  the  editor,  prais- 

(214) 


MARY  GREY'S  EXPERIENCE  AS  A  WRITER.         215 

ing  her  for  her  ability,  and  saying :  "  By  reading  over 
the  columns  of  the  paper  you  will  find  that  I  have  made 
use  of  your  article,  but  I  am  sorry  to  say  that  I  am 
allowed  very  little  funds  to  pay  for  such  contributions, 
but  would  be  pleased  if  you  would  command  my  indi 
vidual  aid  in  finding  a  market  for  your  writings." 

She  was  a  little  surprised  to  see  that  instead  of  its 
being  a  type-written  letter,  such  as  are  commonly  sent 
by  newspaper  firms,  it  \vas  a  neat  sheet  of  business  paper, 
written  with  pen  and  ink,  and  bore  the  writer's  private 
address. 

She  showed  the  letter  to  Mrs.  Ferris,  and  when  she 
drew  her  attention  to  the  above  named  peculiarities,  the 
lady  answered  by  saying :  "  I  consider  that  as  a  compli 
ment  to  you.  He  must  have  considered  your  effort  worthy, 
or  he  would  not  have  shown  you  the  attention  that  he  did. 
Editors  are  usually  so  curt  in  their  business  correspond 
ence.  If  I  were  in  your  place,  I  would  write  another 
piece  and  send  it.  Tell  him  that  you  do  not  expect 
much,  and  would  be  glad  to  accept  whatever  he  sees  fit 
to  send  you." 

Thus  encouraged,  Mrs.  Grey  made  a  second  attempt  to 
gain  recognition  in  a  profitable  manner  in  the  great 
world  of  newspaper  work.  She  had  not  long  to  wait 
until  she  received  an  answer  to  her  second  letter.  This 
covered  three  pages  of  business  paper,  and  was  written 
with  a  cordiality  uncalled  for.  He  was  very  sorry  that 
he  was  not  authorized  to  pay  for  such  articles,  and  since 
the  paper  was  published  by  a  stock  company  he  would 
have  to  abide  by  the  rules,  much  as  he  would  like  to  help 
her.  Then  he  wound  up  by  saying:  "Hut  if  you  will 
accept  my  personal  assistance,  you  can  obtain  the  same 
by  addressing  me  or  calling  on  me  at  my  apartments." 
Then  followed  name,  hotel,  and  number  of  room. 


2l6  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

Mrs.  Grey  was  bewildered.  "  I  do  not  like  the  tone  of 
the  letter,"  she  said  to  Mrs.  Ferris.  "  How  can  he  assist 
me  if  he  can  not  pay  me  for  my  writing,  and  he  has  said 
that  such  a  thing  is  impossible  ?  There  was  nothing  in 
my  letter  to  warrant  such  familiarity.  I  am^glad  that  he 
enclosed  it  with  his,  or  I  might  think  that  I  had  possibly 
written  something  that  encouragedjhim  to  answer  as  he 
did." 

"  I  consider  the  fact  that  he  returned  your  letter  as  the 
strongest  evidence  against  him.  Why  did  he  do  such  an 
unusual  thing  if  he  did  not  want  to  impress  you  with  the 
thought  that  he  did  not  wish  to  consider  your  correspond 
ence  as  strictly  business,"  said  Mrs.  Ferris. 

"  It  seems  so  strange.  I  would  hardly  have  believed 
that  a  man  could  be  so  base  as  to  thrust  his  attentions 
upon  a  woman  because  she  asks  him  for  employment. 
Do  evil-minded  men  consider  that  as  a  license  to  approach 
us?  I  will  never  write  to  him  again." 

"  But  I  would  not  be  so  easily  discouraged,"  said  Mrs. 
Ferris.  "  I  would  write  something  else  and  send  it  to 
some  other  paper.  I  still  think  that  it  was  the  merits  of 
your  articles  that  attracted  that  man's  attention." 

"  But  it  is  not  attention  that  I  want,  even  if  it  was  well 
meant."  But  she  concluded  to  try  once  more. 

By  the  time  the  two  women  had  read  the  answer  to  her 
third  application  they  were  both  discouraged.  The  writer 
commenced  by  advising  her  never  to  drop  a»ny  occupation 
that  she  might  be  engaged  in  to  take  up  writing  for  the 
press,  for  it  was  impossible  for  beginners  to  earn  enough 
to  pay  for  their  paper  and  the  pens  that  they  wore  out, 
much  less  support  themselves.  "But,"  he  went  on,  ''a 
womafl  who  does  not  care  to  do  anything  but  write  can  find 
some  other  way  of  replenishing  her  purse." 

This  had_  the  effect  of  driving  all  the  literary  ambition 


MARY  GREYS  EXPERIENCE  AS  A  WRITER.  2  17 

out  of  her  head.  "Have  I  learned  all  the  hard  lessons 
that  are  necessary  to  take  me  through  the  remainder  of 
my  life,  or  are  there  still  some  more  in  store  for  me?" 
she  thought  bitterly.  "  I  am  so  glad  Robert  did  not  know 
what  was  before  me.  If  he  had,  it  would  have  made  the 
parting  all  the  harder  for  him.  I  am  so  glad  that  that 
could  be  spared  him,  since  he  could  not  stay  nor  had  the 
power  to  ward  off  the  evil.  God  sends  us  word  through 
the  Bible  that  we  should  judge  not,  but  it  seems  that  all 
humanity  were  making  a  universal  effort  to  appoint  them 
selves  as  judges  over  their  fellow-men,  and  I  will  soon 
begin  to  believe  that  our  sex  are  all  held  as  suspects.  I 
hope  that  I  may  never  become  cynical,  but  oh,  it  is  so 
hard  to  bear.  But  Robert  would  have  me  be  brave,  and 
if  I  had  no  trials  there  would  be  no  occasion  for  courage." 

"You  have  had  so  much  to  depress  you  lately,"  said 
Mrs.  Ferris,  "that  it  is  no  wonder  that  you  are  almost 
overcome  with  discouragements,  but  in  time  you  will  be 
yourself  again.  You  will  buckle  on  your  armor  of  de 
fense,  which  will  only  become  the  brighter  and  stronger 
by  coming  in  close  contact  with  opposing  forces." 

"Be  it  far  from  me  to  murmur  or  despair,  but  I  can 
well  see  why  so  many  people  never  have  the  strength 
and  courage  to  accomplish  anything  and  do  not  rise  above 
the  common  level.  Xo  mind  that  is  influenced  by  that 
lower  atmosphere  and  is  poisoned  by  the  venom  therein 
contained  can  ever  gain  the  strength  to  entertain  a  high 
or  worthy  aim,  much  less  carry  it  on  to  success." 

"  It  is  a  homely  phrase,  but  nevertheless  a  true  one," 
said  Mrs.  Ferris,  "that  they  who  stop  to  throw  a  stone  at 
every  dog  that  barks  at  them,  will  never  reach  their  jour 
neys  end;  and  it  is  only  a  surprise  to  me  that  those  who 
keep  themselves  in  a  fever  of  expectation  and  walk  with 
tear  and  trembling,  lest  perchance  their  neighbors  might 


2l8  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

espy  something  in  their  conduct  to  criticise,  and  then  if 
they  should  ever  cause  comment,  let  it  be  in  justice  or  an 
injustice,  feel  that  they  are  undone  for  time  and  for  etern 
ity,  get  through  the  world  as  they  do.  And  when  we 
stop  to  think  that  this  is,  after  all,  the  prime  factor,  we 
are  not  surprised  at  the  clearly  defined  dividing  line  be 
tween  the  intelligent  and  thoughtful  minded  and  the  un 
thinking  masses." 

"I  think  the  only  way  to  attain  that  high  standard  that 
the  Creator  has  endowed  us  with  a  power  to  reach,  is  to 
first  make  sure  that  we  are  in  the  right  and  then  press  on 
and  never  allow  ourselves  to  regret  or  pine  over  a  deed 
that  was  actuated  by  a  good  impulse,"  said  Mrs.  Grey. 
But  she  did  not  know  that  her  power  of  forbearance  was 
so  soon  to  be  tried  to  the  utmost. 

One  evening,  as  she  was  returning  from  the  post  office, 
she  met  Miss  Green,  and  not  knowing  that  the  irate 
spinster  had  sworn  vengeance  against  her,  she  joined 
her.  When  they  came  to  within  a  few  doors  of  Miss 
Green's  home,  one  of  the  women  of  the  neighborhood 
was  standing  on  the  sidewalk  by  the  side  of  a  young 
girl  who  was  sitting  on  the  step  of  one  of  the  houses 
which  were  built  out  to  the  street,  and  as  they  walked  up 
the  woman  said,  "Miss  Green,  this  girl  is  looking  for  a 
place  to  stay  all  night.  I  have  no  room,  but  thought  you 
might  be  willing  to  keep  her."  They  could  not  see  the 
face  of  the  girl  in  the  darkness,  only  the  outlines  of  her 
form,  but  her  attitude  was  weariness  and  dejection  itself. 

"Where  is  your  home?"  asked  Miss  Green. 

The  girl  answered  by  giving  the  name  of  a  small  town 
about  ten  miles  below  Cloverdale. 

"Why  are  you  here  and  hunting  a  room  at  this  time  of 
night?" 

"  I  came  to  town  to  work  for  Dr.   Minor's,  but  the}' 


MARY  GREY'S  EXPERIENCE  AS  A  WRITER.  219 

don't  want  me  for  another  week.  I  want  to  find  a  place 
to  stay  tonight,  and  am  going  back  home  tomorrow.  I 
have  been  trying  for  the  last  hour,  but  everybody  seems 
to  be  either  full  or  torn  up  or  something." 

Miss  Green  asked  the  girl  a  few  more  questions  and 
then  said,  "  We  have  no  room  to  keep  strangers  at  pres 
ent,"  and  started  to  walk  on.  The  other  woman  entered 
her  own  door  at  the  same  time. 

"Can  it  be  possible,"  thought  Mary  Grey,  as  she  still 
stood  by  the  side  of  the  girl,  "that  those  two  women  can 
enter  their  own  homes,  say  their  prayers  in  all  self-right 
eousness  and  then  go  to  bed,  while  one  of  their  gex  is 
sitting  in  the  cold  on  a  door-step  in  the  street?"  "Come," 
she  said  to  the  girl,  "  I  know  a  lady  who  keeps  strangers," 
and  she  started  with  the  girl  toward  the  home  of  Deacon 
Hill.  She  knew  that  the  deacon's  good  old  wife  was 
capable  of  doing  a  great  many  things  without  letting  her 
left  hand  know  what  her  right  hand  had  done,  and  had  a 
room  that  was  used  for  nothing  but  to  shelter  such 
strangers  as  might  present  themselves  at  their  door. 

Mrs.  Grey  had  seen  nothing  but  a  wear}'  woman  who 
wanted  a  place  to  rest.  All  the  questions  that  she  would 
have  asked  had  been  answered  in  a  plausible  manner,  so 
she  walked  quietly  along  by  her  side  without  any  com 
punction  of  conscience,  and  soon  had  her  at  the  door  of 
Mrs.  Hill,  who  agreed  at  once  to  keep  her  for  the  night. 

But  the  serenity  of  her  mind  was  to  be  disturbed  before 
she  reached  her  home.  She  had  no  sooner  started  from 
the  doorstep  with  the  girl  when  Miss  Green  turned  round 
and  took  in  the  situation  at  a  glance.  "She  does  not 
know  that  that  is  an  outcast.  That  will  start  a  pretty 
talk  for  her  to  be  seen  on  the  street  with  such  a  char 
acter,  but  I  wouldn't  care  if  the  whole  town  saw  her." 

She  lingered  in  the  open  door  until  she  saw   Mrs.  Grey 


220  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

coming  back,  and  then  stepped  out  saying,  "You  will  have 
yourself" talked  about  in  a  pretty  way  by  taking  up  with 
such  a  character.  She  has  been  about  town  for  the  last 
week,  and  is  of  the  lowest  type.  I  should  think  you 
would  have  known  that  a  respectable  woman  would  not 
be  hunting  lodging  at  this  time  of  night.  I  would  not 
be  in  your  shoes  for  the  whole  town." 

"  I  did  nothing  wrong.  I  knew  nothing  about  her  and 
supposed  her  story  a  true  one,"  said  Mrs.  Grey,  bewil 
dered  at  the  storm  of  words  that  were  being  hurled  at 
her  head. 

"The  reason  that  you  knew  nothing  about  her,  is  why 
you  should  not  have  taken  up  with  her." 

"Miss  Green,  I  wish  you  would  not  express  yourself 
that  way.  I  did  not  take  up  with  her.  I  could  not  have 
gone  to  bed  with  one  of  my  own  sex  sitting  in  the  cold 
on  a  door-step,  and  I  simply  took  her  to  a  kind  lady  that 
I  knew  would  keep  her.  It  was  only  eight  o'clock.  Cir 
cumstances  may  have  placed  more  than  one  woman  on 
the  street  at  that  hour." 

"  I  should  like  to  know  what  else  it  was  if  you  did  not 
take  up  with  her.  You  associated  with  her  on  the  street, 
and  every  person  that  saw  you  together  will  think  you 
are  no  better  than  she.  I  don't  believe  in  encouraging 
evil,  and  I  don't  think  Mrs.  Hill  will  thank  you  for  bring 
ing  such  a  creature  into  her  house." 

"I  did  not  associate  with  her.  I  simply  conducted  her 
to  Mrs.  Hill's,  and  should  I  think  myself  too  good  for 
that,  when  Christ  came  upon  earth  and  gave  his  precious 
life  for  such  as  she?  Any  one  would  know  that  had  I 
known  her  character  I  would  never  have  taken  her  where 
I  did,  and  that  is  all  I  am  sorry  for,  but  I  will  go  back 
and  tell  Mrs.  Hill  and  she  can  use  her  own  judgment 
about  keeping  her." 


MARY  GREYS   EXPERIENCE  AS  A  WRITER.  221 

"It  is  too  late  now.  You  had  better  let  her  go,  only 
after  this  when  yon  want  to  play  the  saint,  show  your 
kindness  to  a  more  worthy  object." 

Mrs.  Grey  made  no  reply  to  this  last  remark  and  was 
soon  back  at  the  door  of  her  friend.  That  lady  was  sur 
prised  to  see  her  back,  and  after  she  had  heard  her  errand 
she  said,  "I  am  sorry  that  it  happened  as  it  did,  but  no 
one  is  to  blame,  It  can  do  me  no  harm  to  keep  her,  so  I 
will  not  turn  her  out  into  the  street." 

Thus  reassured  Mrs.  Grey  went  home  where  she  re 
lated  her  evening's  adventure  to  Mrs.  Ferris.  "What  will 
the  people  think  who  saw  me  with  her?  They  will  think 
it  strange,  at  best,  and  then  I  am  so  sorry  on  Mrs.  Hill's 
account,  but  I  did  not  know." 

"Of  course  you  knew  nothing  wrong  about  the  girl. 
It  is  a  little  unfortunate  on  Mrs.  Hill's  account,  but  I 
would  not  blame  myself  or  worry  if  I  were  you.  I  don't 
suppose  very  many  people  saw  you.  Go  to  bed  and  get 
a  good  night's  rest  and  you  will  feel  better  in  the  morn 
ing." 

Mrs.  Grey  went  to  bed,  but  did  not  sleep  for  a  long 
time.  The  thought  that  slTe,  even  though  it  was  uncon 
sciously,  had  imposed  upon  one  of  her  best  friends  worried 
her  not  a  little.  The  fact  that  the  lady  had  exonerated 
her  from  all  blame  did  not  make  her  mind  much  easier; 
and  could  it  be  possible  that  the  people  who  saw  them 
together  would  judge  her  by  her  companion?  But  at  last 
she  fell  asleep,  and  her  troubles  for  the  night  were  ended, 
but  only  to  begin  early  the  next  morning,  for  Miss  Green 
and  Mrs.  Jones  were  at  Mrs.  Ferris'  house  betimes.  They 
had  never  been  there  before,  but  since  they  had  a  mutual 
interest  in  so  momentous  a  subject,  they  could  brave  the 
surprise  that  such  an  unusual  procedure  on  their  part 
might  occasion. 


222  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

They  began  to  tell,  with  all  the  enthusiasm  imagina 
ble,  all  that  they  could  possibly  learn  by  strenuous  effort 
against  the  girl. 

"  I  would  think,"  said  Mrs.  Jones,  "  that  you  would 
have  walked  away  and  left  her  after  those  two  young 
men  drove  up  and  asked  her  to  go  riding." 

"  Well,  I  did  begin  to  feel  that  all  might  not  be  right, 
but  I  asked  her  who  they  were,  and  she  said  they  were 
her  cousins,  and  I  supposed  she  was  telling  the  truth." 

"  A  very  likely  story !  and  to  think  that  a  woman  of 
your  age  was  innocent  enough  to  believe  it,"  said  Miss 
Green.  "  Innocence  might  be  bliss  to  some,  but  I  would 
consider  it  anything  else  if  it  got  me  into  such  a  talk  as 
there  is  sure  to  be.  I  think  it  is  wrong  to  encourage 
evil." 

"  Did  Christ  encourage  evil  when  he  gave  His  precious 
life  for  our  sins  ?  Ladies,  I  wish  you  would  not  talk  to 
me  as  if  I  had  committed  some  great  crime.  I  did  no 
real  harm  in  taking  that  poor  erring  creature  to  a  place 
of  shelter,  and  what  is  more,  I  am  liable  to  do  the  same 
thing  again,  for  I  lay  no  claim  to  being  a  judge  of  char 
acter,  and  there  is  no  security  against  a  repetition  of  the 
mistake.  Miss  Green,  if  you  were  to  invite  a  company 
of  young  people  to  your  house  this  evening,  you  no  doubt 
would  have  those  two  young  men  that  were  in  that  buggy 
among  them  ;  and  if  your  character  and  reputation  would 
not  be  impaired  by  thus  associating  with  them,  I  am  none 
the  worse  for  what  I  have  done.  God  did  not  -punish  the 
woman  alone  for  the  transgressions  of  our  foreparents, 
but  turned  them  both  out  of  the  Garden  of  Eden.  Then 
how  can  we  take  it  upon  ourselves  to  say  to  the  woman, 
'  begone,  we  can  not  keep  you  for  the  night,'  and  then 
take  the  man  into  our  homes  and  families  ? " 

"  Well,  if  you  want  to  take  up  with  such  as  her  and 


MARY  GREY'S   EXPERIENCE  AS  A  WRITER.  223 

disgrace  yourself  still  worse,  you  can,  but^we  don't  care 
to  have  such  people  in  our  church,  that's  all !  "  said  Mrs. 
Jones,  as  the  two  moved  toward  the  door.  "  I  don't 
think  that  people  have  a  right  to  be  careless  and  get 
themselves  talked  about,  and  then  still  want  to  associate 
with  Christian  people  who  are  above  reproach." 

If  Mrs.  Grey  had  bewailed  her  mistake  and  looked 
upon  herself  as  being  irreparably  injured,  Mrs.  Jones 
might  have  forgiven  her  the  offense,  for  she  did  not  like 
to  be  remiss  in  Christian  forbearance.  But  this  was  dif 
ferent.  "  She  acts  as  if  it  would  be  impossible  to  harm 
such  a  high  moral  character  as  hers.  She  must  regard 
herself  as  infallible." 

Mary  Grey  wondered  if  she  appeared  so  irretrievably 
lost  in  the  eyes  of  all  Cloverdale.  She  wanted  to  know 
how  much  trouble  her  friend  had  had  with  her  strange 
guest,  and  since  this  was  the  day  for  Bessie's  lesson,  she 
would  soon  be  able  to  find  out. 

"  Have  you  decided  what  punishment  you  would  mete 
out  to  me?"  she  said  to  the  lady,  as  she  entered  the  door. 

"And  what  would  I  want  to  punish  you  for?"  was  her 
pleasant  interrogative  reply ;  and  she  looked  like  any 
thing  but  a  judge  who  was  ready  to  pronounce  a  severe 
sentence. 

"  For  imposing  such  a  great  wrong  upon  you." 

"  Since  you  did  it  innocently,  I  do  not  regard  it  as  an 
imposition;  and  since  you  did  all  in  your  power  to  retrieve 
the  wrong  and  there  was  no  harm  done,  you  need  worry 
no  more  about  it.  I  only  hope  you  will  not  be  discour 
aged  in  well-doing,  and  neglect  something  that  should  be 
done,  and  let  your  head  overrule  the  judgment  of  your 
heart." 

"  I  don't  believe  that  there  is  any  occasion  for  alarm. 
If  it  had  not  been  for  YOU,  their  united  efforts  would 


224  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

hardly  had  the  effect  of  making  me  sorry  that  I  did  not 
go  to  bed  and  leave  a  woman  sitting  on  the  door-step  in 
the  night  and  cold,  not  a  hundred  yards  away.  I  am 
afraid  that  I  will  never  be  well  enough  schooled  in 
worldly  wisdom  to  make  a  mistake  in  the  other  direc 
tion.  I  thank  you  for  taking  such  a  kindly  view  of  this 
unfortunate  episode,  but  I  am  afraid  some  others  who 
saw  me  with  the  girl  will  not  be  so  lenient." 

"  I  pity  such  people  as  can't  recognize  a  lady  when 
they  see  her,"  said  the  old  deacon,  entering  the  door. 
He  had  heard  enough  of  the  conversation  to  know  what 
it  was  about,  and  he  went  on  :  "  Any  one  with  two  eyes 
and  just  common  sense  in  their  head  would  have  known 
that  you  were  not  associates,  even  if  they  did  see  you 
together.  But  in  this  world  it  is  not  only  thief  catch 
thief,  but  it  is  thief  cry  thief,  when  there  is  no  thief  but 
himself  about.  The  girl  stayed  all  night  here,  and  left 
this  morning  without  any  one  knowing  anything  about  it 
but  Betsy  and  me.  I  guess  no  one  is  the  worse  for  it,  so 
worry  no  more  about  it.  You  brought  her  here,  and  my 
wife  refused  to  turn  her  out  after  she  once  was  in.  That 
proves  to  me  that  there  are  at  least  two  women  in  the 
world  who  do  not  ponder  over  the  prudence  or  advis 
ability  of  an  act  until  the  opportunity  to  do  a  good  deed 
of  mercy  has  gone  by,  and  I  am  proud  of  you  both." 

Thus  commending  them,  the  good  deacon  again  left 
the  room. 


CHAPTER  XXII. 

THE    SLEIGH    KIDE. 

ONE  Tuesday  morning  Mary  Grey  stood  looking  out 
at  the  snow.  Owing  to  the  intense  cold,  this  was 
the  first  heavy  fall  of  the  season.  The  previous  scant 
supply  had  been  driven  hither  and  thither  by  the  cold 
winds,  but  now  its  mantle  of  purity  was  over  thrift  and 
negligence  alike,  and  all  Cloverdale  lay  buried  beneath 
its  white  folds.  The  sleighs  were  passing  and  repassing, 
and  the  merry  jingle  of  the  bells  proved  exhiliarating  to 
man}'  a  time-worn,  care-burdened  heart,  as  the  horses 
went  by,  either  prancing  or  like  an  arrow  from  a  bow, 
owing  to  the  dispositions  of  the  animals  and  how  their 
proud  spirits  would  be  brought  to  bear  upon  by  the  un 
usual  splendor  of  their  turnouts. 

This  one  watcher  stood  at  the  window  wondering. 
She  had  gone  over  the  lesson,  but  would  there  be  any 
occasion  for  it  that  day  ?  Would  they  come  for  her  ? 
She  had  not  been  to  the  country  since  Christmas,  and 
then  they  had  all  been  invited  there  to  partake  of  a  good 
old-fashioned  Christmas  dinner. 

The  Colonel  had  told  her  then  that  he  regarded  a 
lady's  health  as  being  of  more  value  than  music  lessons, 
and  that  on  such  days  as  the  weather  might  be  too  severe 
they  would  not  come  for  her.  She  did  not  fear  the  cold, 
but  if  a  man  did  not  care  to  venture  out,  she  surely  ought 
to  be  content  to  remain  indoors.  Hut  today  was  not  so 
bad,  even  though  the  wintry  air  was  crisp  and  clear.  She 
hoped  that  they  would  come.  The  days  that  she  had 
spent  with  those  genial  country  people  were  so  cheerful 

(  225  ) 


226  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

that  she  had  long  since  begun  to  look  forward  to  them 
with  pleasure. 

It  was  growing  late,  and  she  had  almost  given  up  the 
faintly  hoped  for  sleigh-ride,  when  a  vehicle  with  a  single 
occupant  drove  up  to  the  gate  and  stopped.  "That  is 
no  one  for  me,"  she  thought,  as  she  walked  back  to  the 
hearth  and  seated  herself  in  a  large  comfortable  chair. 
"  He  is  some  gentleman  on  business,  and  will  not  be 
brought  in  here." 

She  had  just  taken  up  a  book  and  begun  to  read,  when 
she  heard  the  familiar  voice  of  Colonel  Wilkins,  who, 
with  Mrs.  Ferris,  was  approaching  along  the  hall.  His 
lace  had  been  so  concealed  by  the  collar  of  his  great  coat 
that  she  had  not  known  him. 

"  It  looks  almost  like  a  pity  to  take  you  away  from 
so  much  comfort  and  out  into  the  cold,"  he  said,  after 
greeting  her  in  his  usual  cordial  manner,  "  but  my  boys 
declared  that  they  would  forget  all  that  they  had  ever 
learned  if  they  did  not  get  to  see  their  teacher  today. 
My  horse  is  restless,  so  if  you  are  ready  we  will  start  at 
once." 

But  Mrs.  Grey  appeared  anything  but  reluctant  to  go, 
and  almost  before  he  was  done  talking  she  was  ready, 
and  stood  waiting  while  he  spent  a  few  moments  talking 
to  Mrs.  Ferris. 

"  The  cold  will  hardly  be  able  to  penetrate  these  wraps, 
no  matter  how  persistent  it  may  be,"  she  said,  in  answer 
to  their  thoughtfulness  for  her  comfort. 

"  This  is  the  only  horse»that  we  ever  drive  in  single 
harness,  and  I  was  afraid  to  trust  him  in  the  boys'  hands," 
he  said,  in  an  apologetic  tone,  as  he  helped  her  into  the 
sleigh;  "but  you  can  look  out  over  the  landscape  and 
forget  that  you  havn't  your  old  body-guard  for  a  driver, 
and  enjoy  the  ride.  Vain  creature ! "  he  said  to  the 


THE    SLEIGH    RIDE.  227 

horse,  "you  seem  particularly  elated  over  the  glitter  of 
your  finery." 

"  My  happiness  does  not  always  depend  upon  the  same 
ness  of  things,  but  more  often  upon  a  change."  Then  a 
pensive  look  came  over  her  face.  "  Isn't  it  strange,  the 
changes  which  are  constantly  taking  place  ?  Even  while 
we  watch  we  can  see  them  going  on — changes  in  nature, 
in  our  lives,  and  in  everything  about  us.  There  is  one 
thing  that  will  never  change,  and  that  is  heaven,  and  that 
is  the  only  thing  that  I  can  call  to  mind  at  present." 

Colonel  Wilkins  had  cared  little  for  the  society  of 
women  since  the  death  of  his  wife,  only  such  interest  as 
a  true  gentleman  will  manifest  in  his  lady  friends  at  all 
times.  He  had  dedicated  his  heart  and  life  to  the  mem 
ory  of  her  who  twelve  years  ago  had  gone  from  his  home 
to  that  eternal  home  above. 

While  witli  Mrs.  Grey  he  felt  the  diffidence  so  natural 
to  a  noble  nature  while  in  the  presence  of  an  object  ot 
the  deepest  regard.  He  looked  at  her  intently  while  she 
was  speaking.  There  had  been  a  change  in  her  face 
since  he  first  knew  her.  The  look  of  deep  and  unuttera 
ble  sorrow  had  softened  and  given  place  to  one  of  calm 
resignation  and  quiet  dignity.  She  seemed  the  picture 
of  health  and  self-reliance,  sitting  so  contentedly  by  his 
side.  Yes,  she  was  enjoying  the  drive.  Any  one  who 
saw  her  bright  eyes  and  rosy  cheeks  would  feel  assured 
of  that.  vSince  he  had  been  called  upon  to  bear  a  similar 
affliction,  he  felt  thankful  for  her  sake  for  the  change.  It 
is  not  that  our  sorrows  grow  less,  but  only  that  we  become 
better  schooled  in  time  to  bear  them.  Time  does  not 
heal  the  wound,  but  gives  us  a  fortitude  to  bear  the  pain 
instead,  he  thought,  which  is  so  much  toward  perfecting 
us  for  the  world  to  come. 

"  Did  you  miss  not  getting  to  come  to  the  country  last 


228  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

week,  or  did  you  regard  it  as  a  rest?"  said  the  man,  look 
ing  down  at  his  companion  with  a  look  of  kindly  interest 
in  his  dark  gray  eyes. 

She  looked  up  at  him  as  if  she  was  surprised  that  he 
should  use  the  word  rest  in  connection  with  anything  so 
pleasant  as  her  weekly  visits  to  the  country.  Then  she 
smiled.  "  You  know  a  rest  may  prove  very  fatiguing 
when  one  is  not  in  need  of  it.  I  hardly  knew  what  to 
do  with  myself  that  day.  You  see  how  quickly  a  weak 
creature  can  drift  into  habits." 

"  That  weakness  must  be  natural,  since  we  all  seem  to 
have  been  alike  affected  with  its  influence  that  day." 

"Then  you  think  that  because  a  fault  is  universal  or 

common  that  is  an  excuse  for  it.     For  my  part,  I  think 

among  all  the  errors  that  we  are  liable  to  commit,  the 

.most  prevalent  ones  are  not  only  the  greatest,  but  the 

least  excusable." 

"  Rather  than  to  be  defeated,  I  will  seek  refuge  in  re 
treat  by  calling  our  attention  to  the  fact  that  the  error 
that  led  to  this  conversation  was  not  a  very  erroneous 
one.  For  my  part,  I  can  not  regard  the  fact  that  we  all 
missed  3*011  last  Tuesday  in  the  light  of  a  fault." 

"  Well,  since  we  all  seem  to  have  been  guilty  of  the 
same  wrong  toward  each  other,  we  ought  to  be  willing 
to  call  it  even.  It  is  so  nice  to  be  missed,"  she  added, 
simply. 

"It  is  seldom  that  one  meets  a  person  whose  nature  is 
so  frank  and  unassuming,  and  yet  so  deep  and  thought 
ful,"  thought  Colonel  Wilkins.  "  She  seems  to  be  one  of 
the  few  who  are  not  only  able  to  encounter  life's  battles, 
but  its  severest  trials  as  well,  without  becoming  em 
bittered,  and  to  have  retained  her  childlike  simplicity 
through  it  all." 

"  You  spoke  of  rest ;  that  is  not  what  I  need,  but  rest 


THE    SLEIGH    RIDE-  229 

from  excessive  rest  instead.  If  I  could  only  fill  my  life 
with  some  good  and  useful  work,  I  would  be  satisfied. 
I  would  never  be  satisfied  to  lead  the  life  of  a  butterfly, 
as  easy  as  it  is  supposed  to  be." 

"  Yes,  I  suppose  it  is  about  as  hard  for  some  to  hold 
their  energy  in  check  as  it  is  for  others  to  exert  their 
lagging  forces.  You  would  suit  better  to  such  a  life  as  is 
led  by  the  ant  or  the  busy  bee.  But,"  he  went  on,  as  a 
sly  humor  crept  into  his  usually  earnest  eyes,  "  don't  you 
think  that  the  ant,  which  has  been  extolled  from  time 
immemorial  as  a  pattern  of  wisdom  and  industry,  shows 
a  decided  lack  of  faith  ?  You  know  that  '  Sufficient  unto 
the  day  is  the  evil  thereof,'  and  '  Behold  the  lilies  of  the 
field;  they  toil  not,  neither  do  they  spin.'  " 

"My  ambition,"  was  her  earnest  answer,  "is  above 
either  that  of  the  ant  or  the  bees,  and  since  you  can  find 
no  passage  of  Scripture  to  prove  to  me  that  it  is  wrong 
to  lay  up  treasures  in  heaven,  I  would  prefer  to  pattern 
after  the  industrious  habits  of  those  busy  creatures." 

The  horse  was  fresh  and  swift  and  the  termination  of 
their  journey  put  an  end  to  their  conversation. 

This  was  the  longest  that  the  now  thoroughly  good 
friends  had  not  seen  each  other  since  their  first  acquaint 
ance,  and  the  pleasure  of  again  being  together  was  mutual 
and  was  manifested  by  their  perfectly  easy  and  sincere 
intercourse. 

"I  told  father  this  morning  that  I  was  forgetting  my 
lessons  and  a  great  deal  depended  upon  seeing  you  today," 
said  John,  with  a  look  of  boyish  appreciation. 

"  I  am  afraid  that  if  you  depend  too  much  upon  me  you 
will  1>e  disappointed  at  the  result,"  said  Mrs.  Grey,  but 
she  nevertheless  smiled  at  him  in  a  pleased  way.  "The 
lesson  of  self-reliance  is  one  of  the  first  essentials  to  suc 
cess  in  anvthinir.  The  benefit  that  we  mav  derive  from 


230  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

the  exertions  of  others  can  only  be  temporary  at  best. 
The  strength  that  we  acquire  by  the  exercise  of  our  own 
powers  will  be  wanting." 

"  How  plainly  we  see  that  manifested  every  day,"  said 
Colonel  Wilkins.  "  Take  the  rich  man  as  an  example. 
In  the  management  of  his  wealth,  the  one  who  has 
gained  a  competence  through  years  of  toil  and  self  denial 
will  show  the  wisdom  gained  by  his  many  struggles,  and 
expend  the  benefits  in  a  prudential  way,  while  the  one 
who  comes  into  his  possessions  through  inheritance  will 
spend  with  a  lavish  hand  that  would  strike  consternation 
and  dismay  to  the  heart' of  him  who  laid  the  foundation 
of  his  wealth  ;  or  the  one  who  wins  riches  suddenly  by 
what  is  termed  a  lucky  stroke — he  who,  by  the  stroke  of 
a  pen  transfers  not  only  the  hard-earned  money  but  the 
very  necessaries  of  life  of  the  many  into  his  own  coffer; 
and  then,  devoid  of  principle,  he  will  go  on  in  a  wajT  that 
will  not  only  exhaust  his  money,  but  his  self-respect  and 
manhood  as  well,  and  a  hopeless  death  at  the  end  of  a 
hardened  life  will  be  the  reward  of  the  injustice." 

"Yes,"  said  Mary  Grey,  "God  will,  in  His  own  good 
time  and  way,  visit  His  retribution  upon,  the  cruel  and 
heartless  even  though  our  earthly  laws  are  handled  by 
their  representative  in  a  way  to  favor  the  moneyed  and 
grasping.  Not  all  things  that  we  have  a  right  to  do  are 
right." 

The  boys  had  hoped  that  their  father  would  regard  this 
second  trip  of  the  animal  as  safe  enough  for  them  to 
make,  but  they  could  judge  from  various  little  signs  as 
the  time  approached,  that  he  was  expecting  to  go.  So 
the3r  were  not  surprised  when  he,  at  what  to  them  seemed 
an  early  hour,  again  had  himself  in  readiness.  "I  will 
go  early,"  he  said,  "so  as  to  give  Mrs.  Grey  an  opportun 
ity  to  see  more  of  the  country." 


THK    SLEIGH     RIDE.  231 

"Father  must  think  more  of  showing  her  the  country 
than  of  taking  her  home,"  said  John,  as  he  saw  them  start 
in  the  opposite  direction. 

"  He  may  be  like  you  and  enjoy  being  with  Mrs.  Grey," 
said  the  older  brother  in  a  teasing  way.  "You  seem  to 
fancy  that  no  one  has  a  right  to  her  society  but  yourself. 
I  would  never  hang  around  any  one  like  you  do  her. 
Even  if  a  person  does  come  handy  once  in  a  while,  that 
does  not  keep  them  from  becoming  tiresome  at  times." 

"I  thank  you,"  was  his  half  angry  reply;  "I  do  not 
hang  around  her.  I  am  never  with  her  only  when  she 
asks  me,  and  if  I  was  a  lady  I  would  never  invite  any 
one  or  pretend  that  I  wanted  them  when  I  did  not,  and 
I  don't  believe  that  she  would  either." 

"No,"  said  Aunt  Minnie,  coming  to  the  rescue,  "Mrs. 
Grey  does  not  pretend;  she  likes  you  both.  No  true  gen 
tleman  will  receive  the  regards  and  friendship  of  a  lady 
in  a  depreciative  way,  but  will  strive  to  make  himself 
worthy  of  them  instead;  and  since  a  gentleman  is  a 
gentle  boy  grown  to  manhood,  you  can  not  be  too  careful 
of  the  habits  you  form." 

"  I  hope  I  do  not  lack  in  manly  qualities,  Aunt  Minnie. 
I  was  only  teasing  John,"  said  Will,  coloring  but  not  re 
senting  the  reproof. 

"I  know  you  do  not.  You  both  show  the  fruits  of 
your  father's  example  and  training,  but  you  should  not 
try  to  discourage  your  brother's  thoughtfulness  of  Mrs. 
Grey's  comfort  and  happiness ;  for  many  a  noble  nature 
has  been  warped  and  stunted  by  this  thoughtless  and 
harmful  practice  of  joking.  Only  the  boy  that  can  be 
kind  and  attentive  to  a  lady  older  than  himself  will  ever 
make  himself  worthy  of  one  of  his  own  age." 

"Aunt  Minnie,  you  certainly  could  not  mean  that  a 
boy  of  my  age  should  begin  to  think  of  a  wife." 


232  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

"The  man  who  shows  himself  worthy  of  a  wife,  only 
when  he  has  one  in  view,  is  not  worthy  of  one  at  all,  and 
you  are  never  too  young  to  conduct  yourself  in  a  way 
that  would  attract  the  attention  of  the  kind  of  woman 
that  you  will  wish  to  merit  when  you  are  a  man." 

"I  do  not  think  that  I  particularly  needed  a  scolding, 
but  I  thank  you  for  your  timely  hints  and  suggestions, 
and  will  try  to  profit  by  them." 

"Nor  did  I  mean  to  scold  you,  but  I  see  so  many  who 
think  that  the  fact  of  their  being  boys  entitles  them  to 
give  their  rudeness  full  sway;  and  if  it  happens  to  be 
directed  toward  any  of  his  girl  acquaintances,  it  is 
through  no  fault  of  their  own,  but  she  is  to  blame  for 
permitting  it.  And  this  feeling,  which  is  so  manifest  in 
the  small  boy,  grows  with  his  growth  and  strengthens 
with  his  strength,  and  in  such  a  degree,  that  by  the  time 
he  is  a  man  grown,  he  thinks  the  fact  that  he  is  a  man 
gives  him  the  right  to  act  in  a  way  that  if  he  is  honest 
he  can  scarcely  respect  himself,  and  to  assume  a  slight 
ing  air  of  indifference,  and  still  regard  the  respect  of 
women  as  his  just  dues." 

"Aunt  Minnie,  I  will  soon  begin  to  think  that  you  are 
afraid  for  our  future,"  said  Will. 

"  None  of  our  characters  are  proof  against  impressions, 
and  our  futures  are  only  assured  in  proportion  to  our 
willingness  to  renew  our  security  daily  and  hourly  by  our 
conduct,  but  I  am  far  from  meaning  to  be  personal,  and  I 
hope  that  the  memory  of  your  mother,  together  with  the 
life  of  your  father,  will  continue  to  influence  }7ou  both  in 
a  way  that  you  will  never  forget  yourself,  and  always 
show  yourself  worthy  of  the  highest  type  of  womanhood." 


CPIAPTER  XXIII. 

THK    DRIYK. 

COLOXKL  WIIvKIXS  had  said  that  he  would  start 
early  to  give  Mrs.  Grey  an  opportunity  to  see  the 
country,  but  it  was  to  serve  a  double  purpose,  for,  he  had 
several  hours  of  pleasure  for  himself  in  view  ;  for  he 
thought:  "Although  she  has  had  all  the  experience  that 
both  perfect  happiness  and  the  deepest  sorrow  can  bring, 
she  still  has  all  the  innocence  and  freshness  of  a  young 
girl,  and  one  hour  in  her  society  can  not  only  make  one 
forget  the  frailties  of  human  nature  and  see  only  its 
strength  and  beauty,  but  alike  to  forget  the  number  of 
mile-stones  he  has  passed  and  the  ground  gone  over  be 
tween  (sometimes  with  light  and  joyful  step  and  some 
times  with  a  weary  tread),  and  make  him  feel  as  if  those 
years  were  still  spread  out  before  him." 

He  had  been  in  the  habit  of  regarding  himself  as  an 
old  man,  but  today  almost  unconsciously  he  derived  a 
sense  of  satisfaction  from  the  fact  that  he  would  have  to 
pass  several  of  those  sentinels  that  keep  tally  of  the 
passing  years  before  he  would  reach  his  fortieth  birthday. 

"  I  can,  after  all,  show  my  respect  for  the  memory  of 
my  wife  in  no  better  way  than  by  being  considerate  for 
and  acting  in  a  perfectly  honorable  way  toward  all  her 
sex.  It  depends  more  upon  that  than  it  does  upon  my 
denying  myself  the  pleasure  of  their  society.  If  there 
was  no  true  friendship  between  men  and  women,  aside 
from  that  which  should  necessarily  lead  to  love  and  mar 
riage,  this  would  be  an  uninteresting  world  and  an  empty 
one  to  many  ;  for  even  the  marriage  tie  does  not  always 
insure  friendship,  for  many  who  bear  the  titles  of  husband 
'5  (233) 


234  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

and  wife  could  have  done  each  other  no  more  irreparable 
wrong  than  they  have  by  marrying  and  rendering  each 
other's  lives  miserable.  I  think  the  simple  fact  that  the 
all-wise  Creator  has  ordained  that  we  should  be  born  into 
the  same  family,  and  hold  toward  each  other  the  most 
sacred  ties  of  blood,  is  proof  that  He  does  not  intend  that 
we  should  hold  ourselves  aloof,  which  in  itself  is  sugges 
tive  of  evil,  but  should  cultivate  a  noble  spirit  that  would 
be  a  safeguard  against  wrong,  and  encourage  an  inter 
course  of  friendly  kindness  and  attention  which  could  not 
fail  to  add  to  the  enjoyments  of  this  life." 

Thus  thought  Colonel  Wilkins,  and  since  he  was  a  man 
grown  and  in  the  full  possession  of  his  faculties,  who  had 
a  better  right  to  judge?  And  moreover,  who  would  own 
the  spirit  that  would  be  led  to  say  him  nay  ? 

In  his  old  thoughtful  way  he  arranged  the  robes  about 
his  companion  more  closely,  and  almost  imagined  that  he 
once  more  had  his  wdfe  by  his  side :  that  wife  that  he  had 
taken  from  her  home  with  such  a  proud  sense  of  posses 
sion  over  seventeen  years  ago ;  but  she  had  only  been 
allowed  to  remain  with  him  a  few  short  years — not  much 
more  than  half  as  long  as  she  had  lain  in  her  lonely 
grave.  But  our  minds,  which  are  so  persistent  at  times 
in  giving  us  an  itemized  account  of  our  life  and  doings, 
will  sometimes  in  turn  present  our  past  to  us  in  such  a 
wray  that  one  backward  sweep  of  memory  will  cover  the 
whole  length  of  time,  with  even-  incident  therein  con 
tained,  and  in  such  a  way  as  to  make  it  seem  one  short 
unbroken  dream — a  dream  whose  impressions,  even  when 
we  attempt  it,  will  scarcely  bear  being  carried  into  our 
waking  hours. 

This  was  the  picture  this  man's  life  presented  to  him 
(if  anything  so  vague  could  be  called  a  picture)  as  he 
and  the  woman  by  his  side  had  for  some  time  been  busy 
with  their  own  thoughts.  Then  he  said,  at  last : 


THE    DRIVE.  235 

"  Mrs.  Grey,  do  you  not  wonder  sometimes  what  the 
future  has  in  store  for  3-011  ?  " 

"  Sufficient  unto  the  day  are  the  evils  thereof,"  she  an 
swered,  with  a  gay  smile. 

"  I  own  myself  answered,"  he  said  in  turn  ;  "  but  seri 
ously,  have  you  never  wished  that  you  could  lift  the  veil 
that  divides  the  present  from  the  future?  " 

"  Well,  seriously  then,  do  you  mean  in  this  world  or 
the  world  to  come?  " 

"I  mean  in  this  world  first,  since  our  present  dealings 
are  with  earthry  environments,  and  our  future  depends  so 
much  upon  our  life  here." 

"  Yes,  but  our  future  does  not  depend  upon  what  this 
world  holds  in  store  for  us,  but  rather  upon  the  use  that 
we  make  of  both  present  and  future.  I  am  afraid  that 
my  faith  would  be  sorely  tried  by  the  spirit  of  prophecy ; 
for  if  I  knew,  and  if  the  future  had  nothing  to  offer  me 
but  privation  and  sorrow,  I  might  become  too  discouraged 
to  meet  them.  And  if  it  held  out  nothing  but  perfect 
happiness  to  lure  me  on,  I  might  become  so  satisfied  with 
old  earth  that  I  would  forget  to  prepare  myself  for  heaven. 
And  besides,  if  we  could  acquire  the  power  to  penetrate 
the  unfathomable,  either  of  this  world  or  the  one  to  come, 
we  would  lose  respect  for  God  as  an  all-wise  ruler  and 
begin  to  doubt  and  criticise  his  methods." 

"  Well,"  was  the  man's  answer,  "  if  you  have  not  been 
given  the  spirit  of  prophecy,  as  you  say,  you  seem  to 
have  been  given  the  knowledge  of  what  is  best  for  us." 

"  I  would  not  have  thought,  Colonel  Wilkins,  that  you, 
of  all  men,  would  waste  time  in  flattery,"  she  answered, 
in  a  tone  of  reproach.  "  I  have  the  ordinary  power  of 
thought." 

"Yes;  all  rational  beings  have  been  given  the  power 
to  think,  but  while  some  are  hiding  their  talents  in  the 


236  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME  'BE    BRAVE. 

earth,  others  are  employing  theirs  to  fathom  some  of 
God's  great  truths." 

"Well,  since  we  will  have  to  give  an  account  of  how 
we  use  this  talent  for  good,  and  I  am  only  exercising  it 
according  to  the  strength  God  gave  me,  there  is  no  occa 
sion  for  praise." 

"  If  I  did  not  know  you  as  well  as  I  do,  and  your 
conduct  toward  others  did  not  prove  otherwise,  I  would 
be  led  to  think  that  only  the  heroic  and  uncalled  for  deeds 
were  commendable  in  your  eyes  or  worthy  of  notice." 

"  I  am  far  from  depreciating  the  value  of  small  things, 
for  it  is  those  which  proclaim  not  only  our  patience  and 
fortitude,  but  our  kindness  of  heart  and  soundness  of 
principle  as  well.  But  when  I  am  praised  I  am  led, 
through  my  own  knowledge  of  myself,  to  know  that  I 
have  been  overestimated." 

"  But  right  here,  Mrs.  Grey,  you  deny  to  others  the 
right  that  you  take  to  yourself — that  of  judging  in  this 
matter." 

"I  know  that  it  is  wrong  to  exercise  any  right  that  you 
are  not  willing  to  grant  to  others,  and  I  only  take  this  as 
another  proof  of  my  weakness — a  weakness  that  would 
have  caused  my  sorrow  to  overwhelm  me  and  to  lose 
faith  in  God  and  man  had  I  not  put  myself  under  supreme 
guidance." 

"You  refer  to  the  death  of  your  husband,"  he  said 
gently,  after  a  moment's  silence.  "  I  have  had  a  similar 
experience  and  can  understand  you  well,  but,  unlike  you, 
I  am  afraid  even  now  my  faith  has  not  entirely  recovered 
from  the  shock." 

"  Death  is  certainly  the  hardest  trial  through  which  our 
faith  is  called  to  pass,  but  it  should  also  the  greatest  in 
spiration  confined  to  earth  to  strengthen  our  faith;  for 
when  our  loved  ones  are  taken  from  us  here,  we  cannot 


THE    DRIVE.  237 

fail  to  recognize  in  them  an  added  star  to  the  crown  that 
is  held  out  to  us,"  was  her  thoughtful  answer. 

"Yes,  but  if  we  were  assured  that  our  loved  ones  w7ould 
be  to  us  what  they  were  here,  heaven  would  be  more 
worth  striving  for." 

"  I  am  afraid  that  if  we  only  try  to  make  ourselves 
worthy  of  heaven  in  order  to  meet  our  earthly  friends, 
we  will  fail  in  our  attempt  to  get  there  at  all.  In  our 
present  imperfect  state  we  can  not  conceive  of  our  natures 
as  becoming  so  exalted,  that  we  would  willingly  loosen 
our  grasp  on  earthly  ties  and  affections;  but  'known  to 
God  are  all  his  works  from  the  beginning,'  and  as  in  His 
great  plan,  He,  through  the  degrees  of  evolution,  reached 
perfection  of  His  creation  in  man,  so  through  the  varied 
stages  from  the  cradle  to  the  grave  He  prepares  us  for 
the  change  that  produces,  not  only  the  transformation  of 
our  bodies,  but  also  the  perfection  of  our  spirits,  and  by 
the  time  our  spirits  are  as  fit  for  heaven  as  our  forms 
were  suitable  for  earth,  our  natures  will  have  undergone 
such  a  change,  that  to  know  our  friends  are  as  happy  as 
we  are  ourselves  will  be  all-sufficient." 

"Does  not  the  fact  that  the  present,  with  its'  environ 
ments  (which  we  hold  as  of  such  vast  importance),  is  as 
nothing  compared  to  the  hereafter,  sometimes  have  a  de 
pressing  influence  upon  you  and  make  you  feel  as  if  our 
efforts  here  were  as  naught?" 

"  Our  whole  lives  are  as  dross,  but  anything  that  is  a 
part  of  God's  plan  should  not  be  despised  by  us,  and  we 
should  make  them  as  round  and  full  as  possible  by  good 
works  and  deeds." 

"  Such  reconciliation  is  wonderful  in  one  whose  sorrow 
is  so  new.  Do  you  always  feel  so  submissive  to  the 
Divine  will?" 

"Oh,  no!    oh,   no!     For  a  long  time  it   was   almost   a 


238  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

constant  struggle  that  I  might  not  rebel  at  the  death  of 
my  husband;  and  even  now  I  can  not  look  at  the  long, 
lonely  future  without  shrinking  unless  I  first  implore 
strength  from  above." 

"Your  future  may  be  long,  but  it  shall  not  be  lonely; 
not  if  it  is  in  the  power  of  your  friends  to  prevent  it. 
Do  not  understand  by  this  that  I  overestimate  our 
powers,  but  simply  that  we  will  do  all  that  we  possibly 
can  toward  making  you  happy."  He  forgot,  for  the  time, 
the  youth  that  he  had  been  so  thankful  for  just  a  short 
time  before,  and  looked  at  her  with  eyes  that  spoke  of 
parental  care  and  affection. 

The  tears  of  gratitude  were  in  her  eyes  as  she  said,  "I 
would  indeed  be  ungrateful  if  I  did  not  show  my  appreci 
ation  of  your  kindness  by  trying  to  be  happy,  and  I  have 
been  as  happy  as  it  is  possible  for  me  to  be." 

"Forgive  me  if  what  I  am  about  to  say  will  seem  un 
kind,  but  you  are  too  young  to  talk  in  that  way.  I  do 
not  think  that  it  will  be  in  your  nature  ever  to  forget 
your  dead,  but  your  grief  will  soften  by  time,  and  much 
earthly  happiness  may  still  be  before  you.  God  knows 
how  impossible  it  would  be  to  carry  so  great  an  affliction 
in  our  hearts  and  still  do  our  part  toward  the  living ;  so 
He  has  made  it  a  part  of  His  divine  ordinance  that  our 
sorrows  shall  mellow  with  age.  If  you  promise  to  forgive 
me  I  will  say  still  more.  You  will  allow  that  it  is  a  part 
of  our  duty  to  be  as  happy  as  possible  in  this  life.  This 
depends  upon  different  surroundings,  according  to  our 
dispositions;  and  if,  as  you  say,  in  the  eternal  world, 
our  natures  will  be  so  deepened  and  broadened  as  to  be 
able  to  lay  down  all  distinction,  and  our  earthly  affections 
will  be  as  if  they  had  not  been,  so  that  we  shall  know 
each  other  only  as  happy  spirits,  why,  if  the  future  looks 
lonely,  should  it  always  be  so?  Why  should  you  not  at 


THE    DKIVK.  239 

some  future  time  again  link  your  fortune  with  some 
worthy  man?  There  are  plenty  who  are  not  so  sure  of 
their  route  and  would  be  glad  for  such  a  guide." 

In  her  heart  of  hearts  Mrs.  Grey  felt  that  this  could 
never  be,  but  it  had  been  said  in  such  a  kindly,  earnest 
tone  that  she  could  not  feel  hurt,  and  when  she  looked 
into  the  noble  face  of  the  man  by  her  side,  she  could  see 
that  he  had  only  been  trying  to  propound  a  plan  by  which 
her  happiness  might  be  insured,  and  her  heart  went  out 
to  him  in  thankfulness. 

"But,"  she  said  in  answer,  "you  should  not  offer  a  sug 
gestion  by  which  you  yourself  would  not  be  willing  to 
profit,  but  I  know  that  men  are  constituted  differently 
from  women.  They  seem  to  be  all-sufficient  for  their 
own  happiness,  and  do  not  depend  so  much  upon  com 
panionship." 

"Then  things  seem  very  different  from  what  they 
really  are,"  was  his  answer,  "but  I  am  older,  and  in  all 
probability  have  not  as  many  years  before  me  as  you 
have,  and  unlike  you,  I  would  be  no  help  to  any  one,  but 
rather  the  kind  that  would  need  to  be  led." 

She  looked  at  him  earnestly  as  if  she  would  satisfy  her 
self  as  to  the  truth  or  untruth  of  the  assertion.  vShe 
knew  that  he  would  not  make  a  depreciative  remark 
about  himself  simply  as  a  challenge  to  bring  out  any 
contrary  opinion  that  she  might  hold  of  him.  Could  it 
be  that  this  man  of  men,  who  had  trained  himself  against 
the  possibility  of  a  dishonorable  or  unworthy  thought  or 
act,  could  think  thus  humbly  of  himself?  Hut  this  was, 
after  all,  only  a  verification  of  the  truth  that  the  persons 
who  would  fill  their  minds  with  the  profitable,  must 
necessarily  crowd  out  the  thoughts  that  are  vain  and 
small. 

''You  are  quite  aged,"  she  said  at  last,   her  seriousness 


240  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

giving  place  to  gayer  tones.  "I  had  not  noticed  it  be 
fore;  some  five  or  six  years  older  than  myself  I  would 
judge." 

"  Have  you  never  noticed  my  gray  hair?  If  Jack  Frost 
was  not  about  to  take  advantage  of  the  occasion,  I  would 
remove  1113"  cap  to  show  you  how  busy  old  Father  Time 
has  been  with  the  top  of  my  head,  trying  to  change  its 
natural  color  to  his  favorite  shade.  I  will  not  ask  your 
age  nor  will  I  tell  you  mine.  Those  are  secrets  that  we 
could  not  afford  to  divulge  to  any  one,  even  if  such  a 
thing  was  not  bad  form,  but  I  am  at  least  ten  years  your 
senior." 

They  sat  for  some  time  quietly  listening  to  the  jingle 
of  the  bells.  During  their  conversation  they  had  paid 
little  or  no  attention  to  either  the  farm  houses  or  passers- 
by,  but  now  their  attention  was  drawn  to  a  house  which 
they  were  approaching,  by  the  barking  of  a  dog — one  of 
those  farm  curs  which  seem  to  think  that  people  might 
notice  the  snub  if  the}*  did  not  entertain  them  from  the 
time  they  have  the  slightest  suspicion  of  their  approach 
until  long  after  they  were  gone  out  of  sight,  with  one  of 
their  most  vigorous  displays  of  lung  power ;  and  the 
treble  canine  voice  which  greeted  our  friends  gave  evi 
dence  of  much  rehearsing  and  practice. 

In  the  barn  lot  all  alike  looked  white  and  clean  under 
the  newly  fallen  snow,  which  had  clung  to  everything 
so  persistently,  from  the  loft}'  wind-pump  down  to  the  ill- 
favored  pig-sty. 

The  inhabitants  of  this  region  all  seemed  te  be  housed 
in  their  respective  quarters,  as  there  were  none  in  sight 
with  the  exception  of  an  old  bramah  hen,  which  thought 
that  she,  through  the  length  of  her  legs,  would  be  justi 
fied  in  the  attempt  to  make  a  tour  of  inspection ;  but 
even  she  seemed  to  be  weighing  heavily  the  advisability 


THK    DRIVE.  241 

of  such  a  move,  for  she  would  raise  one  foot,  suspend  it 
above  the  snow  in  a  thoughtful  manner,  and  then  bring 
it  down  only  to  raise  the  other  with  the  same  deliberation. 
From  within  the  precincts  of  the  poultry  house  came  an 
excited  rasping  cackle,  as  a  leghorn  pullet  was — not  try 
ing  to  practice  deception  upon  her  lord  and  master,  oh, 
no;  but  only  trying  her  voice  and  endeavoring  to  remind 
her  professional  sisters  in  the  egg  business  that  a  little 
practice  during  the  winter  months  would  not  come 
amiss. 

As  they  hastened  by,  a  long  loud  whinny  sounded  from 
the  stable,  as  the  noise  of  the  bells  caused  one  of  its  in 
mates  to  lose  his  equilibrium.  It  was  not  plain  to  his 
equine  mind  why  he  should  be  confined  in  a  dull  stable, 
while  one  of  his  kind  should  be  traveling  to  such  a 
lively  tune.  But  they,  no  doubt,  were  scarcely  out  of 
hearing,  until  he  forgot  the  slight  implied  and  concluded 
that  there  was,  after  all,  much  comfort  to  be  derived  from 
a  good  warm  stable  with  its  accompaniments  of  oats, 
corn  and  hay. 

As  they  neared  a  little  brick  school-house,  the  tap  of 
the  bell  announced  that  the  girls  and  boys,  who  came 
there  daily  with  the  hope  that  they  might  some  time  in 
the  remote  future  even  acquire  the  profound  air  and 
stately  step  of  the  instructor,  had  mastered  enough  ed 
ucation  for  one  day,  and  that  that  superior  personage  had 
thought  it  time  to  send  them  home  for  rest  and  recreation. 
The  door  flew  open.  They  all  tried  to  get  out  at  once, 
which  bid  fair  to  impede  their  progress,  but  soon  several 
of  the  smaller  boys  slipped  out  between  the  legs  of  the 
larger  ones.  This  sprung  a  leak,  and  soon  the  house  bid 
fair  to  free  itself  of  its  heterogeneous  mass,  and  wisdom 
most  prolound,  with  a  way  best  known  to  its  representa 
tives  of  making  itself  felt,  together  with  shrinking  timid 


242  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

ity,  come  out  in  such  a  way  as  to  give  the  latter  just 
cause  to  fear  that  they  would  yet  be  undermined  and 
buried  in  the  snow. 

The  "little  boys,"  as  they  are  usually  snubbed  by  those 
who  have  an  eighth  of  an  inch  added  to  their  stature, 
were  soon  engaged  in  the  important  industry  of  putting 
ears  and  some  other  finishing  touches  on  a  snow-man 
which  they  had  not  had  time  to  finish  during  their  short 
recess,  but  had  hurriedly  stuck  a  corncob  pipe  in  the  long 
crease  which  they  intended  for  his  mouth,  to  show  that  he 
was  to  be  a  man  when  he  was  finished,  and  now  they 
were  hurrying  as  only  boys  know  how  who  are  engaged 
in  like  occupations. 

Some  "  bigger  boys  "  were  snow-balling  with  kindred 
spirits  from  among  the  girls ;  while  still  another  size,  and 
the  most  important  of  all  and  the  envied  of  both  the 
smaller  sizes,  were  vigorously  engaged  in  washing  some 
blushing  maidens'  faces,  who  were  making  great  preten- 
tions  at  trying  to  escape — but  all  who  themselves  have 
been  boys  and  girls  at  school  know  that  this  hubbub  was 
only  a  challenge  to  further  attention  and  more  thorough 
face-washing. 

Some  were  trying  to  impress  their  portraits  upon  this 
impromptu  camera,  by  stretching  themselves  full  length 
on  the  snow,  while  still  others  were  engaged  in  the  more 
invigorating  pastime  of  wrestling. 

In  the  background,  around  the  door,  stood  the  more 
demure  little  girls,  looking  their  disapproval  and  waiting 
for  an  opportunity  to  escape  in  the  more  dignified  posi 
tion  of  walking  with  the  teacher. 

This  brought  back  old  memories  in  a  way  to  make 
Mary  Grey  laugh  merrily.  "  I  could  well  imagine  myself 
as  one  of  the  girls  in  that  school-yard,  were  it  not  so  hard 


THE    DRIVE.  243 

to  imagine  myself  as  only  one,  for  I  have  been  in  all  their 
places  at  different  times." 

"  I  never  attended  country  school,"  said  Colonel  \Vil- 
kins,  "  but  I  always  thought  that  those  little  rascals  must 
have  some  prime  fun,  with  plenty  of  time  to  study  up 
deviltry  and  an  opportunity  to  carry  it  out  to  the  bitter 
end." 

"  Yes,"  was  Mrs.  Grey's  laughing  answer;  "  in  country 
schools  the  sly  have  an  opportunity  to  engage  in  a  great 
deal  of  mischief;  but  there  are  also  many  drawbacks 
connected  with  the  place  for  such,  and  you  have  well 
said  '  to  the  bitter  end,'  for  some  of  the  masters  fill  in  the 
time  between  recitations  in  trying  to  develop  their  mus 
cular  powers,  and  this  exercise  is  usually  taken  by  apply 
ing  the  ruler  or  some  convenient  hickory  to  the  backs  of 
those  who  become  all  the  more  incorrigible,  and,  as  a 
consequence,  much  of  this  practice  is  necessary." 

As  they  neared  Cloverdale  they  met  vehicles  of  every 
conceivable  shape  and  style.  Everything  that  could  pos 
sibly  be  coaxed  into  locomotion  had  been  placed  upon 
runners  and  marshaled  out.  Light  wagons,  buggies,  and 
even  store-boxes,  were  trying  to  hold  their  own  as  sleighs. 
Some  of  the  country  lads  who  had  sleighs — yes,  theirs 
were  real  sleighs,  even  if  they  were  not  of  the  latest 
pattern  and  the  paint  was  not  quite  so  new  as  on  some 
they  met  —  were  on  their  way  to  make  as  brave  a  showing 
as  possible  by  driving  up  and  down  the  village  street  with 
their  sweethearts. 

•  One  bob-sled  load,  who  seemed  to  be  on  their  way  to 
some  merrymaking,  were  determined  to  keep  the  beaten 
track,  and  our  friends  were  nearly  upset  into  a  drift  on 
trying  to  round  them.  They  seemed  on  pleasure  bent, 
and  since  they  had  matters  arranged  in  a  way  that  could 
not  fail  to  be  congenial  to  the  happiness  of  the  most 


244  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

sentimental  youth,  they  were  in  no  hurry.  They  were 
arranged  in  two  rows,  one  on  each  side  of  the  large 
wagon  bed,  and  their  self-satisfied  looks  gave  the  impres 
sion  that  every  one  had  their  choice  by  their  side.  Even 
the  driver  could  not  deny  himself  this  bit  of  innocent 
pleasure ;  so  he  had  arranged  his  seat  as  low  as  possible, 
and  had  an  extra  robe  wrapped  about  his  best  girl,  who 
was  making  a  brave  sitting  by  his  side. 

A  boy  who  was  clinging  to  the  hind  bob  called  to 
Colonel  .Wilkins  as  he  passed  :  "  Say,  mister,  if  you  are 
a  parson,  here's  a  fat  job  for  you,  for  these  spoonies  are 
looking  for  some  one  to  do  the  knot  act  for  them,  and 
you  might  as  well  have  the  cash  as  any  one." 

Boys  with  their  hand-sleighs  were  now  fast  coming  into 
prominence,  but  the  Colonel's  horse  seemed  to  think  that 
one  sleigh  at  a  time  was  quite  enough  for  a  well-bred 
horse,  and  sped  along  in  such  a  way  as  to  give  the  second 
one  no  possible  show. 

As  they  turned  the  corner  of  the  street  that  led  to  Mrs. 
Grey's  home,  they  met  Mrs.  Jones,  with  Miss  Green,  in 
her  sleigh.  They  seemed  so  thoroughly  absorbed  in  try 
ing  to  determine  satisfactorily  who  each  driver  had  by  his 
side  that  they  hardly  seemed  to  have  time  to  enjoy  their 
own  ride. 

"  I  thank  you  heartily  for  this  pleasant  drive,"  said 
Mrs.  Grey  to  Colonel  Wilkins,  as  he  lifted  her  from  the 
sleigh  at  her  own  gate. 

"  I  am  glad  to  know  that  the  enjoyment  has  been 
mutual,"  was  his  reply,  "  and  if  you  do  not  object  I  will 
come  again  for  you  some  time." 

"  I  certainly  should  not  object,"  she  said  frankly,  giving 
him  her  hand. 

"And  you  have  not  been  displeased  with  me?"  he 
asked,  earnestly. 


THE    DRIVE.  245 

"  Xot  in  the  least,  and  shall  always  regard  you  as  a  very 
kind  friend." 

Saying  good  night,  the  man  was  soon  on  his  way  home 
and  alone  with  his  thoughts. 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 

THE    DREAM. 

THAT  night  Mrs.  Grey  was  soon  sleeping  the  sleep 
that  only  exercise,  a  sound  body  and  a  clear  con 
science  will  insure,  but  this  restful  slumber  gave  place  to 
that  of  uneasiness  and  strange  dreams.  She  thought  that 
she  was  lying  safely  in  her  bed  when  two  paths  opened 
up  before  her.  The  one  was  up  a  steep  and  dizzy  path 
which  led  to  the  top  of  a  hill,  upon  which  was,  glittering 
in  the  sunlight,  a  castle  of  magnificent  splendor.  The 
other  was  along  an  even  beaten  track,  which  led  to  a  haven 
of  sweet  simplicity.  Along  the  one  a  stranger  was  strew 
ing  hot-house  flowers  and  sweet  perfumes.  Along  the 
other  a  more  familiar  form  was  gathering  a  bouquet  of 
sweet,  old  fashioned  roses,  honeysuckles  and  blue  bells. 
While  the  steep  but  beautiful  path  was  strange  to  her,  the 
other  reminded  her  of  scenes  connected  with  her  child 
hood's  home.  Sometimes  the  face  of  the  one  who  was 
trying  to  make  the  one  path  alluring,  in  spite  .of  its 
danger,  would  take  on  a  familiar  form;  then  just  as  quick 
the  recognition  would  vanish.  The  other,  who  was  hold 
ing  out  to  her  peace  and  sweet  security,  was  sometimes 
that  of  her  mother,  and  then  again  the  likeness  of  Colonel 
Wilkins  was  strangely  intermingled. 

Sometimes  she  would  be  following  the  path,  which, 
after  all,  was  only  dangerous  enough  to  be  enticing  at  the 
outset;  but  after  a  time  the  heat  and  the  odor  of  the 
strange  tropical  flowers  became  stifling,  and  there  was  no 
shade  in  which  to  rest,  but  the  stranger  would  look  back 
with  a  smile  of  assurance  that  would  lead  her  on.  And 
then  again,  as  if  drawn  by  those  eyes  of  painful  entreaty, 

(246) 


THK    DRKAM.  247 

she  would  be  following  their  owner  with  a  sense  of  utter 
restfulness  along  the  humble  yet  shady  w7alks,  and  she 
would  be  transformed  into  a  happy,  care-free  girl,  and 
would  be  watching  the  brook  which  flowed  through  her 
father's  farm,  or  gathering  the  self-same  flowers,  which 
had  not  only  gone  out  from  her  life  years  ago,  but  had 
disappeared  both  root  and  branch  long  ere  this. 

Sometimes  the  scenes  of  her  dreams  were  quickly 
shifted  from  one  to  the  other,  and  then  again  she  seemed 
divided  and  her  feet  would  be  drawn,  even  though  some 
what  reluctantly,  in  one  direction,  while  her  spirit  would 
be  hovering  in  peace  and  joy  along  the  other. 

At  last  she  found  herself  upon  the  summit  of  the 
beautiful  hill,  and  with  feverish  haste  and  excitement 
was  drinking  in  its  strange  grandeur.  Her  handsome 
guide  was  just  about  to  lead  her  into  the  castle — that  was 
a  strange  construction  of  golden  coin,  rare  jewels,  the 
skins  of  animals,  and  strange  flowers,  and  was  built  upon 
the  extreme  edge  of  the  declivity — when  the  ground  be 
neath  her  feet  gave  way.  She  made  an  attempt  to  regain 
her  foothold,  but  the  frail  wall  of  the  castle  to  which  she 
tried  to  cling  gave  way,  so  did  the  vines  and  shrubs  at 
which  she  grasped  in  her  desperation;  and  just  as  she 
was  beginning  to  go  down,  down,  down,  she  awoke.  How 
glad  she  was  to  be  awake.  She  lay  for  some  time  in 
strange  bewilderment,  her  heart  beating  almost  to  suffoca 
tion,  and  she  felt  almost  as  exhausted  as  if  her  dream 
had  been  a  reality.  When  the  da/ed  feeling  had  worn 
away,  and  she  was  assured  that  she  had  not  been  out  of 
her  bed,  the  clock  struck  one  ;  but  the  clock  struck  sev 
eral  times  more  before  she  again  fell  asleep. 

"  If  I  was  a  believer  in  dreams,  I  would  think  that  I 
had  a  presentiment,  and  that  I  am  to  reach  a  crisis  in  my 
life  in  the  near  future,  and  will  be  called  upon  to  make 


248  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

the  choice  between  right  and  wrong  in  an  important 
matter,"  she  said  to  Mrs.  Ferris  the  next  morning. 

"  Don't  you  think,"  said  her  friend,  "  that  we  are  mak 
ing  that  choice  constantly,  every  day  and  every  hour,  and 
that  our  very  lives  are  a  choice  between  right  and 
wrong?" 

"  Yes,"  said  Mrs.  Grey,  "  the  fact  that  some  people  live 
proclaims  the  choice.  I  am  afraid  that  the  fact  that  it  is 
wrong  and  an  unpardonable  sin  is  all  that  keeps  many  a 
poor  discouraged  soul  from  ending  his  life  by  his  own 
hand.  But  my  dream  would  almost  suggest  that  there 
was  something  unusual  before  me,  in  which  I  am  to  be 
sorely  tried." 

"  It  is  only  through  severe  trials  that  we  can  make  sure 
of  our  strength,  and  the  unusual  ones  are  the  severest 
tests,  because  the}"  do  not  give  us  an  opportunity  to  be 
on  our  guard.  But  as  the  beauty  and  brilliancy  of  the 
diamond  is  only  brought  out  by  the  most  persistent  grind 
ing,  so  our  characters  and  natures  can  only  be  rounded 
and  perfected  by  coming  in  contact  with  the  sharp  edges 
of  this  great  burnishing  tool,  the  world." 

"Well,"  said  Mary  Grey,  "the  fact  that  the  whole  world 
is  not  rounded  and  perfected  (since  there  is  so  little  want 
of  opportunity)  is  proof  that  we  do  not  always  profit  by 
the  grinding,  but  sometimes  disclose  a  sharpened  effect 
instead ;  and,  knowing  this,  we  can  not  look  forward  to 
coming  into  unnecessary  contact  with  the  world  with  any 
degree  of  assurance,  and  so  would  avoid  it  if  possible." 
And  her  friend  noticed  for  the  first  time  that  she  was 
taking  the  matter  almost  seriously. 

"  Your  dream  must  indeed  have  had  a  depressing  effect 
upon  you  to  make  you  talk  in  such  a  tone.  It  is  not  one 
of  your  characteristics  to  meet  trouble  half  way,  and  if  it 
were  not  for  that  healthy  color  on  your  face  I  would  think 


THE    DRIVE.  249 

that  your  "liver  had  become  disordered  and  would  pre 
scribe  accordingly.  But  even  if  there  was  anything  in 
our  sleeping  visions,  I  would  not  let  this  weigh  upon  my 
mind.  It  would  be  nothing  worse  than  we  have  both  un 
dergone  in  the  past.  Excuse  me  for  referring  to  such  an 
unpleasant  subject ;  but  since  you  have  gone  through  one 
of  the  most  trying  ordeals  in  the  last  few  months  that 
human  flesh  is  heir  to  and  envy  and  malice  can  drag  us 
through,  and  are  none  the  worse,  I  have  no  fear  for 
you." 

"You  mean  those  unjust  implications.  A  nature  that 
can  not  withstand  slander,  but  becomes  narrowed  and 
embittered,  proves  itself  as  being  in  no  great  degree 
superior  to  those  who  originate  or  carry  on  the  talk  ;  and 
the  persons  who  try  to  defend  themselves  against  wrong 
by  becoming  angry  and  acting  in  the  same  spirit  as  their 
accusers,  thereby  destroy  their  only  effectual  weapon  of 
defense — an  unimpeachable  character. 

"  And  so,  in  the  same  degree,  does  a  woman  who  has 
shown  herself  proof  against  injury  from  that  most  per 
sistent  of  enemies,  the  human  tongue,  whose  poison  is  so 
subtle  as  to  eat  its  way  unawares  into  the  heart  and  brain 
of  its  victims,  prove  her  nature  to  be  such  as  to  be  able 
to  deal  with  the  many  minor  ills  of  life  ;  and  since  there 
is  nothing  in  dreams,  we  will  think  no  more  about  this 
one,  and  I  will  give  you  something  real  instead.  Mere  is 
a  letter  for  you.  Mr.  F'erris  brought  it  last  night.  I 
thought  you  would  be  sleepy  after  your  drive  in  the  cold, 
and  so  I  did  not  disturb  you." 

Mrs.  Grey  \vondered  who  her  letter  could  be  from.  She 
could  tell  by  the  postmark  that  it  was  from  the  city,  but 
who  did  she  know  there  that  would  write  to  her?  She 
was  in  the  act  of  starting  to  her  own  room,  when  Mrs. 
Ferris  said  kindly  :  "  You  can  read  your  letter  here,  as  I 
1 6 


250  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

was  just  about  to  leave  the  room.  Yes,  I  am  going 
any  way,"  she  said,  as  she  saw  Mrs.  Grey  hesitate  in 
doubt. 

The  first  thing  she  did  upon  opening  her  letter  was  to 
look  at  the  inscription — "Nellie  Alton."  Mrs.  Alton  had 
heretofore  sent  her  messages  to  Mrs.  Grey  through  her 
letters  to  her  sister-in-law,  and  she  wondered  what  the 
lady  might  have  to  say  to  her  that  would  occasion  a 
letter.  But  she  was  not  long  to  remain  in  doubt.  The 
little  lady's  letter  was  as  dainty  as  herself,  and  her  chir- 
ography  as  plain  as  care  and  precision  could  make  it,  and 
guiltless  of  any  hidden  or  secret  meaning. 

"  I  am  so  glad,"  Mrs.  Grey  said  to  Mrs.  Ferris,  after 
that  lady  had  read  her  letter.  "  I  have  lived  so  far  re 
moved  from  the  want  and  suffering  of  the  world  that  I 
have  become  indifferent  and  selfish ;  and  that  is  the  kind 
of  work  that  I  have  always  wished  to  do,  only  I  would 
rather  be  able  to  help  them  from  my  own  purse  than  to 
be  only  the  instrument  in  the  hands  of  others." 

"  I  would  rather  you  did  not  go  at  all,  but  that  you 
would  be  content  to  stay  here  instead ;  but  since  you 
seem  to  think  that  your  happiness  depends  upon  it,  I 
wish  you  God-speed.  It  is  only  for  three  months,  I  be 
lieve,  and  then  you  will  come  back  to  us,  of  course." 

"  Yes,  I  will  come  back  when  the  time  is  up  ;  but  I  will 
have  to  give  up  my  pupils,"  she  said,  anxiously,  "  and 
what  will  there  be  for  me  to  do  when  I  get  back? " 

"  You  will  be  able  to  see  them  all  before  you  go.  If 
you  tell  them  your  mission  in  the  city,  they  will  get  some 
one  to  fill  your  place  temporarily,  and  will  gladly  take 
you  back  at  the  end  of  the  three  months." 

"  I  will  get  to  see  the  other  two,  but  not  Colonel  Wil- 
kins.  The  letter  says  that  they  would  like  to  have  me 
there  to  assume  my  duties  by  the  first  of  February.  This 


THE    DRIVE.  251 

letter  has  been  delayed  nearly  a  week,"  she  said,  looking 
at  the  date.  "  I  will  be  sure  to  be  satisfied  with  any 
financial  arrangement  that  they  may  make,  and  so  will 
go  on  Saturday.  I  will  then  have  only  the  Sabbath  on 
which  to  become  somewhat  accustomed  to  my  new  sur 
roundings,  since  next  Monday  is  the  first  of  February. 
Do  not  think  that  I  am  glad  to  leave  my  friends,  because 
I  certainly  have  occasion  to  be  otherwise ;  but  I  think 
those  who  have  none  of  their  own  who  need  them  are 
the  ones  who  should  be  willing  to  administer  to  the  com 
fort  of  strangers  who  do  need  them." 

Thus  it  was  settled.  She  penned  Mrs.  Alton  a  few 
lines  to  tell  her  that  she  would  be  there  on  Saturday  to 
do  anything  that  they  might  require  of  her. 

The  next  three  days  she  was  very  bus}'.  Her  mind 
was  filled  with  excitement  and  a  sense  of  pleasure.  There 
were  those  who  needed  her — such  as  she  could  really 
benefit.  There  was  some  real,  active  work  before  her— 
something  to  occupy  both  time  and  thought. 

She  went  to  see  her  pupils.  They  were  sorry  to  give 
her  up,  and  promised  that  the  place  should  be  open  to 
her  whenever  she  should  see  fit  to  fill  it  again.  She  went 
to  the  bank,  where  her  little  hoard  was  deposited.  She 
wished  to  ascertain  the  amount,  so  she  would  know  how 
much  to  depend  upon  in  case  she  needed  it.  This  had 
accumulated  to  a  snug  little  sum,  almost  more  than  she 
had  expected. 

After  she  had  everything  else  attended  to,  she  packed 
her  trunks,  and  by  the  time  Saturday  morning  had  arrived 
she  was  ready  to  start  for  the  scenes  of  her  labors. 

"  Remember,"  said  Mrs.  Ferris,  "  that  you  are  always 
to  regard  this  as  your  home,  and  that  you  will  be  welcome 
here  under  any  and  all  circumstances." 

"  Such  a  face  as  hers  should  be  proof  against  harm  and 


252  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

injury  any  place  and  at  any  time,"  thought  that  lady,  as 
she  saw  Mrs.  Grey  depart,  and  stood  watching  the  train 
pull  slowly  out  of  the  station. 

Thus  Mrs.  Grey  had  left  the  home  of  her  friend,  to 
return  to  it — when  ?     Who  knows  ? 


CHAPTER  XXV. 

THE    DISAPPOINTMENT. 

I  WONDER"  said  Johnny  Wilkins  to  his  brother  in  a 
rueful  tone,  "if  father  will  think  that  horse  tame 
enough  for  us  to  drive  this  winter.  I  am  sure  he  is  no 
worse  than  he  always  was,  and  he  never  hesitated  to  risk 
him  with  us  before." 

"Well,"  said  Will,  "that  was  different;  because  then 
we  could  go  together,  but  the  sleigh  is  too  small  for  three. 
You  would  not  like  to  go  alone  and  I  am  sure  I  don't 
care  to." 

This  reasoning  did  not  seem  to  make  Johnny's  disap 
pointment  any  easier  to  bear,  as  he  stood  at  the  window 
watching  his  father  depart  for  Cloverdale  on  the  following 
Tuesday  morning,  and  he  only  wished  that  the  years 
would  hurry  by  that  would  make  him  a  man. 

Meanwhile  his  father  was  hastening  toward  his  destin 
ation  in  a  state  of  pleased  expectancy.  The  snow,  by 
this  time,  had  settled  and  the  sleighing  was  perfect.  But 
the  smoothness  of  the  road  and  the  noise  of  the  bells 
were  little  in  accord  with  his  thoughts,  and  he  paid  little 
heed  to  them. 

He  found  himself  wondering  what  would  the  life  be 
like  that  was  stretched  out  before  his  little  friend.  He 
felt  that  he  had  a  fatherly  interest  in  her,  and  considered 
her  happiness  above  all  things  else ;  but  when  he  came 
to  think  of  what  might  be  necessary  to  secure  her  happi 
ness,  his  own  life  not  only  crept  slyly  into  the  arrange 
ment,  but  also  held  a  prominent  part  there.  But  he  would 
not  have  owned  this,  even  to  himself. 

He  could  not  conceal  the  look  of  pained  disappointment 


254  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

that  came  over  his  frank  and  open  countenance  when 
Mrs.  Ferris  told  him  that  the  little  music  teacher  had 
gone  to  the  city  to  be  gone  until  spring.  "When  did  she 
begin  to  think  of  such  an  act?"  was  his  first  question, 
and  it  was  plain  to  be  seen  that  he  thought  he  should 
have  been  apprised  of  such  an  important  move,  if  not 
consulted  in  the  matter. 

"  She  did  not  get  my  sister-in-lawr's  letter  until  last 
Wednesday  morning.  She  told  me  to  tell  your  family 
how  sorry  she  was  to  leave  us  all,  but  you  know  this  is 
the  kind  of  work  that  she  has  always  wanted  to  do,  and 
has  only  been  waiting  for  an  opportunity." 

He  maintained  a  polite  silence  as  Mrs.  Ferris  told  him 
that  Mrs.  Grey  had  gone  to  distribute,  among  the  poor, 
funds  that  had  been  raised  by  a  company  of  rich  people, 
of  which  her  brother  was  treasurer.  But  the  look  of  dis 
appointment  on  his  face  had  given  place  to  one  of  great 
est  concern  before  she  got  through. 

"I  wish  she  would  have  thought  more  of  herself,"  he 
could  not  refrain  from  saying,  "  instead  of  so  much  about 
the  poor.  Xot  but  what  this  is  a  most  laudable  and 
worthy  object,  but  imagine  a  woman  like  her  in  a  large 
city  with  nothing  but  strangers." 

"  Innocence  is  its  own  best  protection,  and  I  don't  know 
of  a  woman  who  is  more  capable  of  taking  care  of  her 
self,  under  an}-  circumstances,  than  Mary  Grey;  and  be 
sides  she  will  not  be  entirely  among  strangers.  My 
brother  and  his  wife  are  there  and  will  show  her  every 
kindness." 

This  did  not  have  the  effect  to  soften  the  look  upon  the 
man's  face;  but  he  only  said,  "Of  course  Mrs.  Grey  is 
her  own  mistress,  but  I  don't  see  why  some  women  will 
persist  in  doing  for  others  when  most  men  would  find  it 
more  than  thev  cared  to  do  to  take  care  of  themselves." 


DISAPPOINTMENT.  255 

"You  forget,  Colonel  Wilkins,"  said  the  lad)-,  "that 
there  is  a  salary  connected  with  this  arrangement,  and 
that  in  taking  care  of  others  Mrs.  Grey  will  also  be  tak 
ing  care  of  herself." 

The  man  looked  at  her  with  a  half  angry,  questioning 
look.  "I  did  not  know  that  Mrs.  Grey  was  not  earning 
sufficient  for  her  needs,  or  that  she  was  only  here  on  suf 
ferance." 

"  Hoity  toity !"  was  her  reply.  "There  is  hardly  any 
occasion  for  such  manifestation  of  spirit.  You  act  as  if 
you  thought  that  I  had  sent  her  away  as  a  personal  griev 
ance  to  you;  but  I  assure  you  that  I  had  nothing  to  do 
with  her  going.  She  did  not  even  ask  my  advice,  much 
less  consent,  and  I  have  always  treated  her  in  a  way  that 
even  you  could  not  disapprove  of.  Pray  let  us  not  fall 
out  about  a  mutual  friend,  for  I  assure  you  I  have  her  in 
terest  and  happiness  at  heart  as  much  as  you  possibly 
could  have." 

"  I  had  no  intention  of  falling  out  with  an  old  friend," 
he  said,  as  he  smilingly  offered  her  his  hand.  Hut  he  went 
away  in  anything  but  a  satisfied  mood.  Of  course  he 
did  not  dare  to  tell  Mrs.  Ferris  the  chief  cause  of  his  irri 
tation.  Hut  he  thought,  as  he  drove  slowly  homeward, 
"  I  would  much  rather  she  had  gone  among  strangers 
than  the  ones  she  has  goiie  to.  Her  personal  security 
would  be  just  as  much  assured." 

He  stopped  at  the  post-office.  He  never  received  any 
mail  on  Tuesday,  but  dee])  down  in  his  heart  a  sly  hope 
had  gained  a  foothold.  "She  may  have  written  to  me. 
She  always  seemed  to  think  much  of  the  boys  and  may 
have  wanted  to  make  some  explanation."  Hut  there  was 
nothing  there.  He  was  disappointed,  but  his  head  re 
fused  to  own  what  his  heart  declared.  "  Of  course  she 
would  not  need  to  write,  when  she  left  word  with  Mrs. 


256  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

Ferris."  And  what  right  had  he  to  expect  such  notice 
from  her?  He  had  a  fatherly  interest  in  her,  of  course, 
but  what  daughter  of  that  age  found  it  expedient  to  con 
sult  her  father?  and  so  he  should  be  content  with  a 
father's  dues. 

He  did  not  try  to  conceal  his  regret  when  he  told  the 
people  at  home  that  they  did  not  need  to  expect  to  see 
Mrs.  Grey  again  before  spring. 

"  The  rest  of  the  winter  will  be  pretty  lonesome  for  us, 
wont  it  boys?  "  he  said  to  Johnny  and  Will,  who  seemed  to 
agree  with  him  heartily. 

Johnny  was  very  demonstrative  in  his  remarks  against 
missions  and  good  works  in  general,  if  they  necessitated 
his  parting  with  his  friend,  companion  and  teacher.  His 
father  did  not  correct  him,  as  was  his  custom  when  he 
indulged  in  unfeeling  talk.  This  coincided  too  closely 
with  his  own  views  of  the  matter. 

"  How  consistent  are  the  works  of  Providence,"  said 
Deacon  Hill,  in  a  profound  tone  to  his  wife  Betsy,  when 
a  few  weeks  after  Mrs.  Grey's  departure,  he  had  heard 
glowing  accounts  of  her  good  works  done  in  the  city, 
but  his  tone  changed,  as  it  had  a  trick  of  doing,  when  he 
said,  "  It  is  as  plain  as  the  nose  on  nay  face  (which  should 
be  plain,  considering  the  size  of  that  member)  that  this 
world  was  not  made  for  a  joke.  But  it  does  seem  almost 
like  a  pity,"  he  went  on  thoughtfully,  "  that  it  was  neces 
sary  to  remove  the  good  Parson  Grey  that  the  city  might 
secure  an  angel  of  mercy.  And  to  think,"  he  went  on,  a 
visible  rise  in  his  spirits,  "how  she  was  treated  here  by 
some  as  were  not  worthy  to  unloose  her  shoe  latchet.  If 
I  was  allowed  to  suggest  an  addition  to  this  town,  it 
would  be  a  public  whipping  post,  and  an  expert  at  the 
business  to  deal  out  the  full  number  of  stripes  to  those 
who  fail  to  hold  back  on  the  bridle  on  their  tongues;  but 


THE    DISAPPOINTMENT.  257 

I  guess  some  of  them  do,  and  the  bridle  breaks,"  he  said, 
spitefully. 

"  Deacon,"  said  his  good  wife,  "  wouldn't  you  be 
ashamed  to  suggest  such  punishment  for  the  women, 
since  they  are  the  only  ones  that  would  need  it?"  she 
concluded,  slyly. 

"  Betsy,"  he  began,  dryly,  "no  insinuations."  But  his 
tone  soon  changed  to  one  of  earnestness  as  only  such 
deacons  as  he  are  capable  of  managing.  "The  women 
do  a  vast  amount  of  talking  it  is  a  fact;  but  how  would 
they  know  half  of  the  mischief  going,  if  their  husbands 
and  brothers  did  not  tell  them?  Their  gossips  and  little 
spites  about  their  pretty  frocks  and  pretty  faces,  house 
keeping  and  cooking,  only  acts  as  a  spring  tonic  to  make 
them  all  want  to  tidy  up  and  look  the  nicest.  The  men 
start  most  of  the  harmful  talk,  even  if  the  women  do  help 
a  little  to  carry  it  on,  and  they  are  the  ones  who  will  have 
to  give  an  account  in  the  next  world,  if  they  do  shift  the 
blame  here.  If  we  instituted  a  whipping  post,  I  would 
want  the  management  of  it  for  awhile.  I  think  I  would 
be  able,  through  the  muscle  of  my  right  arm,  to  give  some 
fellows  their  dues.  Betsy,"  he  said  in  all  solemnity, 
"  although  you  have  no  suspicion  of  it,  even  your  good 
deacon  has  done  some  talking  that  he  had  no  business  to 
do,  and  he  would  rather  give  an  account  for  the  deeds 
done  in  the  body  while  he  is  here." 

"That  would  make  it  necessary  for  some  one  else  to 
har.dle  the  whip  awhile,"  said  Betsy,  a  moisture  gathering 
in  her  eyes  at  his  seriousness,  as  she  laid  her  hand  timidly 
over  his  larger  one.  vShe  could  not  find  it  in  her  nature 
to  think  the  less  of  him.  He  had  always  been  a  good 
deacon  to  her,  and  her  admiration  only  increased  at  his 
confession. 

"  You   women   are   queer  creatures,"  he   said    to   her   a 


258  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

little  sheepishly;  "there  is  no  understanding  you  nohow." 
But  he  nevertheless  laid  his  other  hand  over  hers.  "  A 
person  would  think  the  more  faults  a  man  had  the  better 
you  liked  him.  It  almost  looks  that  way  sometimes." 

"  The  spirit  is  sometimes  willing,  but  the  flesh  is  weak," 
she  said  in  a  comforting,  reassuring  tone.  But  she  had 
no  chance  to  say  more,  for  just  then  callers  were  an 
nounced.  After  the  deacon  saw  who  they  were  he  had 
barely  time  to  give  his  wife  a  wink  before  Mrs.  Dixon, 
Mrs.  Jones  and  Miss  Green  came  into  the  room. 

Betsy  had  no  sort  of  a  notion  what  that  wink  meant, 
but  she  knew  that  it  was  something  weighty.  So  she 
was  silent  and  awaited  developments. 

The  Hills  had  never  been  on  very  friendly  terms  with 
their  visitors,  but  the  ladies  had,  on  several  previous  oc 
casions,  taken  advantage  of  being  on  "calling  terms,"  so 
this  visit  caused  no  surprise. 

The  deacon  gave  his  wife  another  wink  to  let  her  know 
that  the  supreme  moment  had  come,  and  then  began  : 

."  How  happifying  it  ought  to  be  to  us  all  to  hear  such 
good  reports  from  Sister  Grey;  such  good  news  from  one 
whom  we  are  so  interested  in,  has  certainly  made  us  all 
glad."  This  was  accompanied  by  such  a  look  as  he 
thought  most  becoming  to  one  of  his  standing,  talking  to 
the  subordinates  of  the  church. 

"  Yes,"  said  Mrs.  Jones,  weakly,  after  she  had  given 
the  speaker  ample  time  to  disclose  what  the  news  was. 
But  doing  anything  of  that  kind  was  contrary  to  his 
intentions. 

"  But,"  he  went  on,  instead,  "  Betsy  and  me  have  taken 
more  comfort  from  this  than  any  news  that  we  have 
had  for  a  long  time,  and  I  suppose  we  all  have."  This 
was  accompanied  by  an  innocent,  questioning  look  directed 
straight  at  Mrs.  Jones. 


THE    DISAPPOINTMENT.  259 

"Yes,  of  course,"  was  her  answer,  still  weakly.  "We 
are  always  glad  to  hear  good  news  from  any  one,  and 
since  the  Widow  Grey  has  gone — where?"  and  she  tried 
to  look  as  if  her  memory  had  served  her  a  sudden  trick 
by  leaving  her. 

"Yes,  she  is  there,"  was  his  answer;  "she  had  no 
trouble  at  all  in  reaching  there.  She  made  the  best  kind 
of  connections." 

"  And  what  occupation  did  she  say  that  she  was  en 
gaged  in  ?  My  recollections  are  not  as  good  as  they  were 
once.  You  know,  Deacon,  that  people  of  our  age  can 
not  rely  too  much  on  their  memories." 

"Oh,  yes,"  he  said,  "she  engaged  at  once  in  her  occu 
pation,  and  of  course  is  occupying  her  time  in  the  same 
way  still ;  and  how7  happy  it  makes  us  all  to  know  that 
she  is  happy." 

All  further  attempts  to  elicit  the  facts  from  the  Deacon 
proved  just  as  futile,  and  the  supreme  questions,  Where 
has  Mrs.  Grey  gone?  and  what  is  she  doing?  were  not 
answered. 

"  Well,  Deacon,"  said  his  wife,  when  they  were  once 
more  alone,  "  you  are  as  hard  to  catch  as  a  colt  in  a  woods 
pasture  when  it  thinks  you  are  in  fun  and  want  to  have  a 
race." 

"  And  you  would  not  have  opened  your  mouth,  even  to 
hollow  '  Oh!'  if  I  had  jagged  you  with  a  pin,  or  exploded 
a  cartridge  behind  your  back,  after  I  gave  you  that  wink; 
so  we  ought  to  be  willing  to  call  it  even." 

But  those  upon  whom  those  tricks  had  been  practiced 
were  not  so  charitable  in  their  conclusions  and  not  so 
kindly  disposed  toward  the  old  couple. 

"  The  Deacon  Hill  could  have  proven  to  us  that  lie  was 
getting  daft  without  trying  half  so  hard,"  was  Mrs.  Jones' 
complimentary  address. 


260  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

"  Getting  daft !  "  said  Mrs.  Dixon,  in  flippant  tones ;  "  if 
there  is  ever  any  change  in  him  he  will  get  some  sense, 
because  he  never  has  been  burdened  with  an  oversupply. 
A  person  would  be  led  to  think  that  he  had  a  monopoly 
on  the  news  about  Mrs.  Grey,  and  would  lose  his  control 
if  he  happened  to  let  a  little  of  it  leak  out." 

"  He  reminded  me  more,"  said  Mrs.  Jones,  "  of  a  girl 
at  school  who  has  a  secret  that  is  very  hard  on  her,  but  is 
too  much  ingrossed  in  its  importance  to  tell  it." 

Since  to  keep  a  watch  over  ourselves  is  the  most  im 
portant  of  the  neighborhood  affairs,  and  we  had  upon 
previous  occasions  acted  as  eavesdroppers,  we  did  not 
further  intrude  ourselves  upon  these  ladies'  society.  But 
still,  since  Miss  Green  could  not  be  trusted  and  seemed 
on  mischief  bent,  it  was  best  to  keep  her  under  surveil 
lance.  She  went  directly  to  the  post-office,  and  when  she 
came  out  she  had  a  more  satisfied  look  upon  her  face. 
She  said  to  herself:  "  Deacon  Hill  can't  keep  everything 
locked  up  in  his  manly  bosom ;  not  since  there  is  a  post- 
office  in  the  place,  with  some  one  whose  duty  it  is  to 
answer  such  questions.  So  she  has  gone  to  the  city.  I 
wonder  what  for.  But  I  will  find  out ;  and  I  will  find  out 
whether  Colonel  Wilkins  writes  to  her." 

She  had  entertained  some  secret  hopes  concerning  the 
Colonel  for  a  number  of  years,  and  when  she  saw  them 
driving  together  her  jealousy  had  been  aroused.  It  was 
some  satisfaction  to  know  that  she  was  gone ;  but  still, 
might  he  not  be  writing  to  her  ?  He  went  in  and  out  of 
the  post-office  too  often  lately.  If  she  could  only  con 
trive  to  prove  something  against  her  character,  something 
that  would  be  believed  against  her  and  would  degrade 
her. 


CHAPTER  XXVI. 

MRS.  GREY'S  DUTIES  ix  THE  CITY. 

SPRING  was  again  here,  and  with  it  had  come  relief 
to  the  multitudes,  not  only  to  the  poor,  by  bringing 
employment  to  the  willing,  and  shedding  her  warm,  be 
nign  smiles  over  the  face  of  all  nature  in  such  a  way  that 
fuel  and  warm  clothing  could  be  dispensed  with,  but  also 
to  the  philanthropist  who  had  been  doing  such  noble 
work  to  lessen  the  want  and  suffering.  It  was  only  the 
middle  of  April,  but  winter  seemed  either  to  have  spent 
its  force  or  to  have  relented  early  and  gone  back  ~to  his 
arctic  lair. 

The  three  months  that  Mrs.  Grey  was  to  spend  in  the 
city  were  nearly  over.  She  was  glad.  Not  that  she  had 
wearied  of  her  labors,  but  that  much  of  its  cause  had 
been  removed,  and  that  she  was  so  soon  to  see  her  friends. 
It  would  be  so  nice  to  be  at  home  again.  And  then,  as 
soon  as  the  weather  had  settled,  she  wanted  to  go  and 
plant  some  flowers  on  Robert's  grave.  She  had  promised 
herself  that  she  would  on  the  day  of  the  funeral,  and  that 
resolve,  together  with  the  grave,  was  just  as  fresh  in  her 
mind  as  on  the  day  that  they  were  made.  She  would  get 
a  slip  from  his  own  rose  bush  at  Cloverdale.  Since  she 
was  not  near  enough  to  give  the  tender  varieties  the 
necessary  attention,  she  would  plant  only  perennial  ones, 
and  those  hardy  plants  would  also  be  more  emblematic  of 
his  life  and  character. 

Although  she  looked  forward  with  pleasant  anticipation 
to  the  relief  and  change  that  the  end  of  her  appointment 
would  bring  to  her,  she  also  experienced  a  sense  of  sad 
ness.  Most  of  the  people  upon  whom  she  had  been 

(261) 


262  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

called  to  attend  would  now  be  self-sustaining,  but  with 
many  of  the  ill-disciplined  ones  it  would  still  require  a 
brave  struggle ;  and  those  were,  after  all,  the  ones  who 
called  for  the  deepest  solicitude.  She  would  fain  stay 
among  them,  were  it  advisable. 

She  had  not  gone  among  them  simply  as  an  employed 
helper,  but  as  a  sincere  friend — one  who  could  not  only 
enter  into  their  faintest  joys,  but  deepest  sorrows  as  well, 
and  as  such  had  become  truly  attached  to  not  a  few  of 
them. 

She  had  come  in  contact  with  the  two  great  classes,  the 
worthy  and  the  shiftless  poor.  But  to  her  they  presented 
such  a  variation  that  they  could  be  divided  and  subdivided 
and  still  a  difference  would  be  discernable.  Among  the 
unworthy — that  great  class  which  say  to  the  public,  as  if 
in  so  many  words,  "  You  owe  us  a  living,  and  if  you  do 
not  give  it  to  us  willingly,  we  will  get  it  in  a  way  that 
will  cost  you  much  more  than  simply  the  price  of  the 
food  and  clothing " — there  are  those  who  seem  utterly 
satisfied  with  their  low  estate,  if  they  only  have  such 
clothing  as  not  only  common  decency  but  also  the  man 
dates  of  the  law  require,  and  sufficient  food  to  satisfy  the 
craving  of  their  by  no  means  sluggish  appetites.  And 
the  means  by  which  they  are  obtained  causes  them  no 
compunction  of  conscience ;  and  they  eat  when  hungry, 
lie  down  when  sleep  overcomes  them,  and  go  in  and  out 
much  like  the  lower  animals,  from  which  their  habits  but 
slightly  remove  them. 

And  then  there  is  the  by  no  means  less  common  class, 
whose  habits  and  inclinations  are  not  superior  to  the 
former,  but  who  try  to  impress  their  grief  at  their  condi 
tion  and  their  willingness  and  ability  upon  their  hearers 
by  continually  railing  at  providence  or  their  neighbors, 
who  are,  by  their  own  exertions,  better  fed  and  clad  than 
them. 


MRS.  GREY'S  DUTIES  IN  THE  CITY.  263 

Then,  among  the  unfortunates  who  have  a  better  claim 
upon  our  sympathy,  there  are  those  who  seem  to  have 
been  destined  by  fate  to  lead  an  humble  life ;  who  are  not 
only  born  poor,  but  with  a  total  lack  of  ingenuity,  which 
is  expressed  by  them  as  being  born  for  bad  luck.  And 
this  is,  after  all,  not  such  a  misnomer,  for  where  skill  is 
wanting,  luck  is  sure  to  take  wings,  and  every  attempt 
on  their  part  is  either  too  soon,  too  late,  or  not  well 
enough  done  to  bring  its  wonted  profit. 

Then  there  is  that  innumerable  company  of  those  who 
were  born  and  reared  in  homes  of  plenty  or  even  luxury, 
who  have,  either  by  an  adverse  fortune,  their  own  mis 
management  or  the  avarice  of  their  cotemporaries,  been 
brought  to  privation  and  want.  This  has  the  effect  to  em 
bitter  the  hearts  and  lives  of  many,  a  fact  which  is 
plainly  evident  in  every  lineament  of  their  countenance, 
while  others  bear  their  now  helplessly  unalterable  con 
dition  with  a  patience  and  fortitude  which  is  almost 
pathetic. 

Mrs.  Grey  had  won  the  love  and  confidence  of  all. 
They  did  not  fear  and  mistrust  her  as  they  had  others 
who  had  come  among  them.  They  could  see  that  she  did 
not  come  simply  to  pry  into  their  misery,  nor  did  she  go 
among  them  with  an  air  that  said,  "I  have  come  to  help 
you,  to  be  sure,  but  if  you  had  been  as  wise  and  indus 
trious  as  I,  you  would  be  able  to  take  care  of  yourselves, 
and  might  have  spared  us  all  this  trouble." 

Several  of  the  wealthy  people  would  have  been  willing, 
after  they  had  seen  Mrs.  Grey,  to  take  her  into  their  own 
homes.  But  she  declined  their  overtures,  and  persisted 
in  taking  apartments  and  board  with  a  lady-like  little 
widow  who  was  courageously  trying  to  support  herself 
and  a  family  of  small  children.  Owing  to  this  woman's 
manner,  the  people  had  never  had  the  courage  to  offer  her 


264  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

any  assistance,  but  Mrs.  Grey  had  been  instructed  to  keep 
a  close  watch  that  she  did  not  come  to  want,  and  that 
little  missionary  soon  wisely  concluded  that  the  best  way 
to  help  a  nature  like  hers  was  to  give  her  a  better  oppor 
tunity  to  help  herself,  and  pay  her  well  for  her  services ; 
and  she  was  so  skillful  in  her  management  of  this  little 
affair,  that  the  willing  woman  never  for  a  moment  sus 
pected  how  near  she  came  to  being  an  object  of  charity. 
And  this  method  was  carried  out  in  all  her  dealings  with 
the  self-respecting  class.  Some  she  would  employ  to 
make  such  common  and  substantial  garments  as  were 
within  their  skill,  to  be  distributed  in  charity,  while  those 
for  whom  the  articles  of  clothing  were  intended  were 
given  some  other  way  in  which  to  earn  them.  Thus  each 
was  led  to  believe  that  they  were  assisting  in  the  work  of 
charity;  and  Mrs.  Grey  was  often  deeply  affected  by 
some  of  the  most  needy  ones  protesting  against  taking 
any  pay  for  their  services. 

By  thus  doing  she  not  only  spared  their  pride  and 
dignity,  but  the  means  with  which  she  was  intrusted  were 
extended  into  a  wider  field  and  greater  usefulness. 

Mrs.  Grey  had  seen  very  little  of  Mrs.  Alton  since  she 
had  come  to  the  city.  The  winter  had  kept  that  lady  close 
ly  housed,  and  Mrs.  Grey's  mind  and  time  had  been  too 
thoroughly  taken  up  with  her  duties  to  think  of  pleasure 
during  the  week,  and  even  on  Sunday  she  freely  gave 
her  time  between  church  hours;  and  when  she  was  not 
away  from  home,  beguiling  some  fretful  patient  or  amus 
ing  a  troublesome  child  in  order  to  give  its  mother  a  half 
holiday,  she  was  in  her  own  room  with  the  widow's  trio 
about  her,  trying  to  exert  over  them  her  power  to  enter 
tain,  while  their  mother  was  induced  to  attend  the  after 
noon  services  or  was  away  chatting  for  a  short  time  with 
a  friend.  In  the  occupation  of  nurse  the  lady  succeeded 


MRS.  GREY'S  DUTIKS  ix  THE  CITY.  265 

admirably,  and  she  never  was  so  happy  as  when  she  had 
one  child  on  her  lap  and  one  on  either  side  leaning 
against  her  shoulder. 

Of  Mr.  Alton  she  had  seen  much,  since  he  was  man 
ager  of  the  fund  she  was  expending.  His  calls  had  not 
been  infrequent.  vShe  had  always  been  glad  to  see  him. 
She  regarded  him  more  as  a  big  brother  than  as  a  friend. 
He  seemed  so  genial  and  whole-souled  that  the  world  'had 
always  seemed  brighter  for  his  having  been  there.  But 
now  the  time  of  her  stay  was  fast  drawing  to  a  close- 
She  was  soon  to  leave  off  her  busy  life  in  the  city  for  the 
rest  and  quiet  of  Cloverclale. 

"  I  will  soon  see,  not  only  kind  Mrs.  Ferris  and  her 
husband  and  daughter,  but  the  Hills,  and  Johnny  and 
Will  Wilkins,  their  father  and  Aunt  Minnie." 

She  wondered  if  they  had  missed  her,  and  if  they  had 
been  disappointed  when  they  came  for  her  and  found  her 
gone.  Then  it  occurred  to  her,  as  if  by  revelation,  that 
she  had  not  acted  a  friend's  part  toward  them.  "I  cer 
tainly  should  have  proven  my  appreciation  of  their  many 
kind  attentions  to  me,  by  writing  them  a  letter  of  explan 
ation  instead  of  leaving  word  with  Mrs.  Ferris.  I  won 
der  what  they  thought  of  me?"  Then  in  her  reproach  of 
self,  she  feared  that  it  might  lessen  their  regard  for  her, 
and  she  did  so  want  to  retain  the  good  opinion  of  those 
who  had  proven  themselves  as  such  desirable  friends. 

Then  involuntarily  her  thoughts  were  led  to  the  last 
visit  she  had  paid  to  the  country,  when  Colonel  Wilkins 
had  come  for  her  and  took  her  back  to  Cloverclale  himself. 
She  thought  of  his  manner  toward  her.  "  Xo  wonder  his 
sons  were  so  gentlemanly.  They  could  hardly  be  other 
wise  with  such  a  father." 

She  had  never  given  the  subjects  of  that  day's  conver 
sation  any  thought,  but  now  she  recalled  the  one  dis- 
17 


266  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

tinctly.  He  had  said,  "  If  all  our  earthly  ties  will  be 
dissolved,  and  in  heaven  will  be  as  if  the}-  had  never  ex 
isted,  why  should  those  whom  death  robs  of  their  first 
choice  lead  lonely  lives  here?  Why  should  they  not 
make  themselves  happy  by  trying  to  administer  and  add 
to  the  happiness  of  another? " 

She  could  see  no  reason  why  those  who  could  love 
anew,  should  not.  Surely  it  would  be  a  pity  for  a  man 
like  Colonel  Wilkins,  who  seemed  so  well  qualified  to 
make  a  woman  happy,  to  lead  a  single  life  while  so  many 
unworthy  ones  were  marrying  every  day. 

"  But  with  me  it  is  different.  Marriage  is  one  of 
heaven's  ordinances,  and  to  assume  that  sacred  relation 
ship  lightly  can  not  fail  to  be,  not  only  a  sin  before  God, 
but  the  greatest  wrong  and  injustice  that  two  of  His 
creatures  are  capable  of  doing  each  other;  and  an  un 
happy  married  life  to  such  can  only  be  a  just  retribution 
for  such  an  offense.  While  it  might  be  right  for  some, 
owing  to  their  natures,  to  marry  twice  or  even  oftener,  I 
am  destined  to  but  one  companion,  and  if  I  live  to  the  prov 
erbial  age  of  three  score  years  and  ten,  I  will  be  as  true 
to  Robert  in  both  my  heart  and  life  as  if  he  were  by  my 
side  to  appreciate  it.  Oh,  no,  those  three  years  of  my 
life  were  too  happy  for  me  ever  to  think  of  allowing  an 
other  to  take  my  dead  husband's  place." 

She  did  not  know  that  the  woman  whose  first  marriage 
proves  happy  is  sometimes  the  first  to  think  of  a  second. 


CHAPTER  XXVII. 

MARY    GREY    SEEKS    EMPLOYMENT. 

IT  only  lacked  a  few  days  now  of  the  time  that  Mrs. 
Grey  had  set  for  her  return  to  her  home.  She  had 
already  made  farewell  visits  to  many  of  her  new  found 
but  hearty  friends,  and  was  one  evening  looking  through 
her  trunk  preparatory  to  packing  it  anew,  when  there 
was  a  rap  at  her  door,  and,  upon  opening  it,  she  was  not 
a  little  surprised  to  admit  Mr.  Alton. 

"You  seem  to  be  glad  to  get  away  from  us,"  was  his 
first  salutation,  as  he  stood  (without  noticing  the  chair 
that  she  offered  him)  regarding  her  open  trunk.  "  There 
is  hardly  any  need  of  packing  your  trunk  so  soon.  Have 
I  not  always  been  a  friend  to  you?" 

"Why,  certainly,"  she  said,  surprised  at  such  an  un 
usual  question.  "  I  could  not  ask  more  of  a  brother  and 
sister  than  you  and  your  wife  have  been  to  me.  But  since 
my  labors  here  are  over,  I  must  go  back  to  my  home  and 
my  work.  Indeed  my  friends  have  been  kind  to  wait  on 
me  even  this  long." 

"Back  to  your  music  and  Colonel  Wilkins,"  he  thought 
savagely,  "but  you  will  not  go  if  I  can  prevent  it." 
Then  he  said,  "But  if  I  can  convince  you  that  it  is  your 
duty  to  remain  here,  then  what?  Would  you  stay  if  I 
prove  such  to  be  the  case?" 

"  I  suppose  so,  if  it  were  really  necessary,"  she  said,  a 
little  regretfully.  "But  you  are  only  joking." 

"No,  I  am  not  joking,  as  you  will  find.  Mrs.  Alton  is 
growing  weaker  ever}-  day,  and  is  in  need  of  a  nurse,  and 
I  came  to  ask  you  to  accept  the  position." 

"Why  have  you  not  told  me  this  before?  I  would 
(267) 


268  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

have  come  to  see  her  oftener,  at  the  sacrifice  of  other 
duties  if  necessary.  Of  course  I  will  nurse  her  if  she 
needs  me :  but  then  I  can  not  go  home,"  she  said,  sud 
denly  recollecting  herself. 

"  You  need  not  go  home,"  was  his  answer,  "  and  besides, 
you  will  find  as  good  a  home  in  my  house  as  with  my 
sister.  Only  say  that  you  will  come,  and  you  can  rest 
assured  that  you  shall  never  want  for  a  home." 

"  Oh,  no,  I  have  no  fear.  Your  sister  assured  me  a 
home  with  her  always,  and  I  do  not  fear  that  she  will 
change  her  mind  or  turn  me  out  because  I  stay  to  nurse 
your  wife." 

"Then  you  will  come,"  he  said;  ''and  since  my  wife  is 
very  much  in  need  of  some  one,  I  hope  you  will  put  on 
your  hat  and  shawl  and  go  with  me  at  once." 

"I  hardly  thought  that  you  meant  tonight,  but  still  if 
it  is  necessary  I  can  go." 

So  after  telling  her  landlady  her  mission,  she  set  her 
room  to  rights  and  went  with  him  at  once.  She  tried  to 
hide  her  surprise  as  she  approached  her  friend's  bedside, 
but  she  did  not  know  how  illy  she  succeeded.  She  had 
not  expected  to  find  her  so  reduced. 

"My  husband  has  gone  to  find  a  nurse,"  said  the  sick 
woman.  "  Do  you  know  if  he  has  returned? " 

"I  have  come  to  nurse  you,"  was  Mary  Grey's  reply. 
"  Your  husband  walked  to  the  door  with  me,  and  then 
stopped  to  talk  to  Dr.  Shelly.  But  did  you  not  send  for 
me?  " 

"  Yes,  my  husband  wanted  a  nurse  for  me,  and  I  am 
glad  you  came,"  was  her  answer.  But  she  nevertheless 
gazed  after  the  figure,  whose  every  outline  bespoke  of 
health,  with  a  pathetic  look  in  her  eyes  that  her  husband, 
however,  would  not  understand,  even  though  she  faintly 
hoped,  at  first,  that  it  might  remind  him  of  a  conversa- 


MARY    GREY    SEEKS    EMPLOYMENT.  269 

tion  that  they  had  had  only  a  short  time  before,  when  she 
had  told  him  that  the  contrast  between  herself  and  Mrs. 
Grey  was  painful  to  her,  and  that  she  would  willingly  dis 
pense  with  all  other  society  but  his. 

Fred.  Alton  understood  the  language  of  her  eyes,  even 
though  he  made  no  sign  at  the  time.  His  conscience 
smote  him.  So  on  the  next  morning  he  said  to  Mrs. 
Grey  that  "  she  might  amuse  herself  in  the  parlor,  in  the 
library,  and  read  or  in  any  way  that  was  most  congenial 
to  her.  I  will  nurse  my  wife  myself,  and  only  wanted 
some  one  in  the  house  in  case  that  she  should  grow  sud 
denly  worse." 

So  the  man  watched  by  the  bedside  alone.  But  the 
vigil  was  not  a  lengthy  one.  Her  ailment  took  a  decided 
turn  for  the  worse,  as  is  so  commonly  the  case  with  in 
valids  in  the  spring  of  the  year,  when  the  leaves  begin  to 
come  out,  owing  to  the  condition  of  the  atmosphere; 
and  a  week  after  Mrs.  Grey  entered  the  house  as  nurse 
her  patient  had  gone  to  her  long  home. 

The  city  relatives  and  a  few  intimate  friends  had  been 
going  in  and  out,  but  aside  from  that  no  one  even  knew 
that  she  was  worse.  When  she  passed  away  her  husband 
was  with  her  alone  to  the  last,  and  no  one  else  knew  of  it 
until  she  was  gone.  So,  after  all,  her  heart  had  been 
satisfied  to  the  end. 

After  she  was  dead  the  news  spread,  and  when  friends 
and  relatives  began  to  come  in,  Mrs.  Grey  knew  that  her 
presence  could  be  dispensed  with.  So  she  told  Mrs. 
Ferris  that  slie  would  make  her  final  arrangements  and 
return  with  her  to  Cloverdale  after  the  funeral.  She  still 
had  some  good-bye  calls  to  make  among  her  people. 

It  was  the  evening  before  the  funeral.  She  was  hurry 
ing  from  one  place  to  the  other,  thinking,  "  I  hope  that  I 
will  get  around  in  time  to  pack  my  trunk."  She  was  just 


2JO  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

about  to  turn  down  the  street  that  led  to  her  rooms  when 
who  should  come  facing  her  but  Miss  Green. 

This  young  lady  had  some  distant  relatives  in  the  city, 
and  had  been  there  for  several  days.  She  had  contrived 
to  find  out  that  Mrs.  Grey  was  expected  back  to  Clover- 
dale  the  first  week  in  May,  so  she  had  come  to  the  city  to 
see  if  anything  could  be  done,  by  fair  means  or  foul,  to 
prevent  it.  She  had  not  had  the  courage  to  go  up  to  the 
Alton  residence,  and  she  wanted  a  chance  to  talk  with 
her ;  so  here  was  her  opportunity. 

"  How  nice  it  is  to  meet  old  friends  in  a  strange  place. 
Sister  Grey,"  she  said,  extending  her  hand. 

Mrs.  Grey  returned  her  cordial  greeting  and  then  said: 
"  I  am  somewhat  in  a  hurry  as  I  wish  to  pack  my  trunk 
this  evening,  but  if  you  wTill  come  to  my  rooms,  we  can 
have  time  for  a  talk.  It  will  not  take  you  out  of  your 
way  much,  as  we  are  nearly  there  now." 

Miss  Green  tried  to  conceal  the  alacrity  with  which  she 
accepted  the  invitation,  but  since  her  companion  was  not 
regarding  her  in  the  light  of  a  suspect,  she  might  have 
spared  herself  the  pains. 

"So  you  are  getting  ready  to  go  back  to  Cloverdale? 
I  suppose  if  Colonel  Wilkins  had  known  that  you  would 
only  have  nursing  to  do  for  such  a  short  time,  he  would 
have  waited  for  you  to  come  back  instead  of  getting  an 
other  teacher  for  his  boys."  The  speaker  noticed  a  slight 
start  on  the  part  of  Mrs.  Grey,  but  she  made  no  reply, 
but  went  on  laying  out  her  wardrobe  preparatory  to 
packing. 

"  That  is  the  best  damper  that  I  could  have  put  on  her 
enthusiasm  about  going  back.  Xow  if  I  could  only  make 
her  think  that  he  had  hired  some  one  else  to  fill  her  place 
because  he  had  heard  something  against  her  character,  I 
would  not  have  to  work  on  her  feelings  much  more  to 


.MARY    GKKY    SEEKS    EMPLOYMENT.  271 

get  her  to  hunt  pupils  here  or  do  almost  anything  else 
rather  than  go  back  to  CloYerdale.  It  never  seemed  to 
make  much  odds  to  her  what  the  rest  of  us  thought  about 
her,  as  long  as  she  had  the  Ferrises,  the  Hills  and  Colonel 
\Vilkins,  but  if  she  once  thinks  that  she  has  fallen  in 
grace  in  their  sight,  she  will  not  consider  it  worth  while 
to  come  back  to  CloYerdale.  Even  if  it  is  a  trumped  up 
story,  all  is  fair  in — war,  they  say,  only  I  must  be  careful 
and  not  implicate  myself." 

"  You  must  be  a  better  Christian  than  I  am,"  she  said 
sweetly,  "  to  give  up  a  position  that  was  paying  you  fairly 
well,  to  come  here  to  work  among  the  trashy  poor  for 
nothing.  But  you  always  did  have  queer  notions  about 
your  duty,  and  did  things  that  no  one  else  would  risk 
themselves  to  do.  I  don't  see  how  you  could  afford  to 
live  in  the  city,  pay  arl  your  own  expenses  and  work  for 
nothing." 

"  \Yhat  makes  you  think  that  I  did  it  for  nothing,  Miss 
Green?  " 

"None  of  us  thought  that  you  were  doing  the  work 
for  nothing.  \Ye  Cloverdale  people  were  under  the  im 
pression  that  you  were  being  well  paid,  but  since  I  came 
to  the  city  I  have  discovered  that  we  were  misinformed." 

"  Who  are  your  friends  here?"  was  Mary  Grey's  next 
question.  "Whom  do  you  know?" 

"  Oh,  no  one  that  you  know  or  have  met,  but  the  lady 
that  I  am  visiting  belongs  to  the  same  church  as  some  of 
the  people  who  raised  this  poor  fund,  and  meets  them  at 
their  aid  society.  She  said  that  she  heard  them  say  that 
Mr.  Alton  had  secured  such  an  excellent  lady  to  distrib 
ute  the  money  among  the  needy,  a  Christian  lady  of  leis 
ure  who  would  be  only  too  glad  to  spend  her  time  in  good 
works." 

Mrs.    Grev   made  no  answer,   so  she   went  on:     "The 


272  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

lady  wrote  to  me  about  the  matter  some  time  ago,  but  I 
thought  there  might  be  some  mistake;  but  since  I  came 
to  the  city,  my  friend  asked  them  if  you  were  not  being 
paid  a  salary.  They  looked  surprised,  and  said  'certainly 
not; '  that  '  you  had  not  asked  for  it.'  " 

Mrs.  Grey  went  on  packing  her  trunk,  and  kept  her 
back  to  her  visitor.  She  was  certain  that  there  was  a 
mistake,  but  she  did  not  want  the  woman  to  see  the  effect 
of  her  words,  idle  though  they  were. 

"I  spoke  to  Colonel  Wilkins  about  it  when  I  got  my 
friend's  letter.  He  said  that  he  had  not  been  troubling 
himself  about  the  matter,  but  I  could  see  that  he  was 
under  the  same  impression  as  myself:  namely,  that  the 
men  were  paying  your  expenses  and  giving  you  a  salary 
\vithout  their  wives  knowing  it.  And  it  is  my  opinion 
that  this  had  something  to  do  withliis  hiring  a  new  music 
teacher  when  your  time  was  so  near  up." 

"Why  do  you  persist  in  tormenting  me  so?"  said  Mary 
Grey,  turning  her  now  thoroughly  white  face  full  upon 
her  visitor.  "Colonel  Wilkins  or  any  one  else  has  a  right 
to  employ  whom  and  when  he  pleases.  Why  do  you  tell 
me  such  things,  Miss  Green?  What  have  I  ever  done  to 
occasion  your  ill  will?" 

But  that  young  lady  remembered  suddenly  that  she 
must  not  stay  another  minute  or  her  friends  would  be 
worried  about  her. 

"Well,  I  have  made  her  realize  for  once  that  she  is  on 
the  same  planet  with  the  rest  of  us,  and  will  have  to 
suffer  alike  the  consequences.  If  she  ever  comes  back  to 
Cloverdale,  I  am  no  judge  of  human  nature.  But  per 
haps  I  had  better  gave  her  another  little  thrust,  because 
if  she  comes  back  now  I  will  be  found  out."  And  Sarah 
Green  realized  that  an  uneasy  conscience  was  ceaseless  in 
its  clamor  for  satisfaction. 


MARY  GRKY  SEEKS  EMPLOYMENT.         273 

"I  will  never  speak  to  that  woman  again,"  thought 
Mary  Grey.  "It  is  no  use  to  try  to  be  friends  with  her. 
I  have  tried  to  soften  her  dislike,  but  she  succeeds  in 
making  me  miserable  every  time  that  I  talk  to  her.  She 
is  certainly  the  worst  cross  that  I  have  been  called  upon 
to  bear." 

She  was  about  to  resume  her  task,  when  the  weight  of 
the  woman's  talk  dawned  upon  her.  "  What  am  I  pack 
ing  my  trunk  for?  I  could  never  live  among  those  people 
under  a  shadow.  Mr.  Alton  will  clear  up  this  mistake,  I 
know,  but  I  could  never  go  back  and  know  that  they  had 
ever  doubted  me  for  a  moment ;  and  if  some  of  them  have 
hired  a  new  teacher,  what  would  I  do  after  I  got  there  ? 
But  if  I  do  not  go  to  Mrs.  Ferris',  where  else  will  I  go? 
I  wonder  how  much  of  this  she  knows."  She  sank  into 
a  chair  in  dumb  despair.  Her  heart  appeared  four  times 
its  natural  size  and  seemed  to  be  bearing  her  to  the  floor 
with  its  weight.  She  seemed  to  be  deprived  of  the  power 
of  thought. 

The  sound  of  voices  in  the  corridor  aroused  her,  and 
presently  her  landlady  came  to  the  door  with  Mr.  Alton. 
He  had  been  in  the  woman's  sitting-room,  waiting  for 
Miss  Green  to  leave.  He  had  seen  her  on  the  street  and 
recognized  her,  but  had  failed  in  reaching  Mrs.  Grey's 
side  first.  The  landlady,  thinking  that  he  wanted  to  con- 
sull  Mrs.  Grey  about  some  arrangement  for  the  funeral, 
left  him  at  the  door.  This  he  at  once  closed,  bracing  his 
back  against  it  as  if  trying  to  keep  some  one  out. 

"Am  I  needed  at  the  house?"  was  Mrs.  Grey's  first 
question.  "  I  am  sorry  that  it  was  necessary  for  me  to 
leave.  I  did  want  to  go  back  with  Mrs.  Ferris,  but  I  will 
do  whatever  you  ask  me." 

Then  for  the  first  time  she  noticed  his  attitude  and  the 
angry  light  in  his  eyes,  but  before  she  had  time  to  express 
her  surprise,  he  bursted  out  : 


2J4  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  '  did  want  to  go  '  ?  What  has 
that  woman  been  telling  you?  I  wish  I  had  the  power 
to  throttle  every  single  woman  above  thirty,  for  none  of 
them  have  business  of  their  own  to  keep  them  busy,  and 
some  married  women  deserve  the  same  fate  !  Has  she 
been  telling  you  something  that  would  hinder  you  going 
back  to  Cloverdale? " 

"  She  has  *told  me  nothing  but  what  you  can  clear  up 
and  make  plain.  But  I  am  sorry,  for  the  story  seems 
already  to  have  gained  credence  with  some  of  my  friends." 
.  "  Any  one  who  could  ever  be  led  to  believe  wrong  of 
you  was  never  worthy  of  the  name  of  friend.  But  what 
has  she  been  telling  you?  I  am  waiting  to  hear  the 
story." 

"  She  said  the  impression  among  the  ladies  was  that  I 
was  a  person  of  leisure,  and  that  they  said  positively  that 
there  was  no  salary  raised  for  me,  and  that  I  was  even 
supposed  to  be  paying  my  own  expenses ;  and  that  the 
general  impression  at  Cloverdale  was  that  the  men  were 
supporting  me,  without  their  wives'  knowledge  or  con 
sent."  He  had  looked  at  her  so  straight  that  the  words 
seemed  to  have  been  drawn  from  her  verbatim. 

"  I  had  hoped  to  tell  you  of  this  little  matter  first ;  but 
since  some  one  else  has  deprived  me  of  the  privilege,  I 
hardly  know  how  to  explain  so  that  you  will  understand 
and  not  be  prejudiced." 

"  I  never  found  it  hard  to  understand  matters  of  busi 
ness,  and  always  tried  to  keep  myself  as  free  as  possible 
from  prejudice.  I  promise  you  an  impartial  hearing. 
Go  on,  please  ;  I  am  waiting  to  hear  the  story."  She  had 
used  his  own  words,  and  was  standing  straighter  than  he 
had  ever  seen  her. 

"  There  is  not  much  to  tell.  I  paid  what  money  you 
received  out  of  my  own  purse ;  but  my  wife  knew  of  itr 
else  ho\v  could  she  have  written  to  vou  as  she  did  ? " 


MARY    GREY    SEEKS    EMPLOYMENT.  275 

"  Did  your  wife  know  that  you  gave  me  the  money,  or 
did  she  think  that  it  came  from  the  general  fund  ?  Did 
you  represent  me  as  a  lady  of  leisure,  so  that  those  ladies 
think  that  I  would  not  even  accept  a  salary  ?  Does  your 
sister  know  ?  " 

"  My  wife  would  not  have  understood  or  cared  if  I  had 
explained  the  matter  to  her,  and  it  concerned  no  one  else. 
Believe  me,  I  only  wanted  to  keep  you  in  sight  until  I 
should  be  free  ;  and  since  that  time  has  come,  you.  need 
never  go  back  to  Cloverdale.  Stay  in  the  city  until  a 
suitable  time  has  gone  by,  and  I  will  place  you  where 
want  and  care  can  never  reach  you,  and  even  during  the 
intervening  time  your  every  wish  shall  be  my  law.  You 
shall  fare  as  well  as  if  you  were  my  wife  in  very  truth." 

"  And  you  are  the  man  whom  I  have  been  regarding 
as  a  brother ! — a  man  who  would  deliberately  practice 
deception  upon  an  unsuspecting  woman,  and  in  the  name 
of  charity  and  mere}',  and  then  add  to  the  injury  by  in 
sulting  her  with  overtures  of  marriage  while  the  form  of 
his  angel  wife  is  still  lying  in  his  home  !  Has  the  mem 
ory  of  her  spotless  life  no  power  to  shame  you?  " 

He  began  as  if  to  make  excuses,  but  she  put  her  hand 
on  the  knob  of  the  rear  door,  saying:  "  If  you  have  any 
more  to  add,  I  will  excuse  myself  from  remaining  to 
listen." 

After  Mrs.  Grey  had  heard  the  man  leave  the  room, 
she  returned  and  stood  before  her  open  trunk.  She  could 
not  go  back  to  Cloverdale  now.  -She  could  never  again 
enter  the  home  of  Mrs.  Ferris.  She  could  not  remain  in 
the  city.  Where  should  she  go:1  Then  for  the  first  time 
her  dream  recurred  to  her.  "Well,"  she  thought,  "  if  this 
is  one  of  the  ways  that  my  sleeping  fancy  opened  up  to 
me,  there  will  also  be  a  safer  although  a  humbler  path." 

This    thought    recalled    a   conversation    that    she    had 


276  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

overheard  only  a  few  days  before.  In  trying  to  secure 
employment  for  a  young  girl,  she  had  gone  into  an  intel 
ligence  office.  Here  she  found  a  lady  who  was  in  search 
of  a  waiting-maid  to  accompany  her  on  a  trip  to  Europe. 
She  had  engaged  one,  but  the  girl  had  changed  her  mind 
at  the  very  last,  and  now  the  lady  was  ready  to  go  and 
had  no  one  to  go  with  her.  Mrs.  Grey  remembered  her 
name  and  address.  She  would  go  and  offer  her  services, 
and  if  she  was  not  too  late  she  would  soon  be  far  away 
from  friends  and  foes  alike.  It  was  not  quite  nine  o'clock. 
In  a  half  hour  she  could  be  back. 

She  was  soon  once  more  on  the  street.  She  hailed  a 
car,  and  in  a  short  time  was  at  her  destination.  The 
lady  was  not  a  little  surprised  at  so  late  a  call  and  on 
such  an  errand ;  but  the  face  was  one  that  would  inspire 
confidence.  So  she  asked  her  name,  age,  and  former 
occupation,  and  if  she  had  ever  had  any  experience  in 
the  duties  of  a  waiting-maid. 

"  I  know  nothing  about  such  duties,"  was  her  answer, 
"  but  I  am  willing  to  learn,  and,  believe  me,  I  have  need 
to  do  it.  I  have  heretofore  made  my  living  by  giving 
music  lessons,  but  would  rather  go  with  you  in  that 
capacity  than  to  try  to  get  pupils  in  a  strange  place." 

The  lad}-  eyed  her  critical!}-.  It  was  a  little  strange 
that  a  woman  of  her  address  should  be  in  search  of  such 
a  situation.  She  must  have  been  driven  to  self-support 
by  misfortune.  She  did  not  look  like  a  person  \vho  would 
take  a  sudden  wild  notion  or  be  led  by  a  spirit  of  adven 
ture.  "  I  would  much  rather  have  a  homely,  uneducated 
person  than  one  with  her  lady  face  and  ways,"  she 
thought,  "  but  I  think  I  will  be  able  to  teach  her  her 
place  if  she  does  not  happen  to  know  it." 

"  I  go  the  day  after  tomorrow.  Can  you  be  ready  by 
then  ?  " 


MARY    GREY    SEEKS    EMPLOYMENT.  277 

"  There  is  only  one  thing  that  I  would  like  to  do  before 
I  go  so  far  away,  and  that  is  to  go  to  C—  -  and  plant 
some  flowers  upon  my  husband's  grave  ;  but  I  am  afraid 
that  will  be  impossible  in  so  short  a  time." 

"  Not  necessarily  impossible,  since  it  is  on  our  way. 
You  can  go  on  tomorrow  and  meet  me  on  the  next." 

Since  the  lady  was  very  much  in  need  of  a 'servant  and 
Mrs.  Grey  was  equally  desirous  of  securing  the  position, 
they  soon  came  to  an  agreement. 

Mrs.  Grey  returned  to  her  room  very  much  relieved. 
She  would  soon  be  far  away  from  the  people  who  had 
doubted  her ;  but  she  realized  a  dull  pain  at  her  heart 
when  she  remembered  that  she  would  also  be  far  away 
from  all  that  had  ever  been  dear  to  her.  But  the  story 
that  she  had  heard  tonight  would  soon  be  known  to  all 
her  friends,  and  the}'  could  not  fail  to  doubt  her  integrity, 
and  she  could  bear  anything  rather  than  that ;  so  she 
finished  packing  her  trunk,  bade  her  landlady  good  bye, 
and  left  the  city  by  the  early  train. 

The  time  for  the  funeral  had  nearly  arrived.  Two  of 
the  people  had  repeatedly  inquired  if  Mrs.  Grey  had  come. 
They  were  Fred.  Alton  and  his  sister.  Mrs.  Ferris  wanted 
to  see  her  before  the  funeral,  to  see  if  she  would  be 
ready  to  leave  for  home  immediately  after.  The  other 
wondered,  hoped,  yet  feared,  for  reasons  that  he  did  not 
care  to  divulge. 

They  dispatched  a  servant  to  her  rooms  to  see  what 
could  possibly  be  detaining  her.  Imagine  their  surprise 
when  she  returned  saying  that  Mrs.  Grey's  landlady  had 
told  her  that  the  lady  had  gone  to  Kurope  and  had  started 
on  the  early  train.  She  did  not  know  who  with  ;  only 
that  she  had  gone;  that  was  all. 

Mrs.  Ferris  was  ama/ed.  "  What  could  have  happened 
to  cause  her  to  do  anything  so  rash  .J  And  without  even 


278  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

telling  us !  She  certainly  made  up  her  mind  very  sud 
denly,  or  imagined  that  she  had  just  cause  for  concealing 
her  actions." 

She  simply  told  the  others  who  were  expecting  her 
that  Mrs.  Grey  would  not  be  there,  but  made  no  further 
explanation. 


CHAPTER  XXVIII. 

AX    HOUR    WITH    TI-IK    DEAD. 

THE  church  yard  speaks  to  us  in  a  thousand  tones, 
through  the  voices  of  our  dead — voices  which, 
through  their  very  stillness,  are  carried,  regardless  of  con 
dition  or  space,  to  the  various  ends  of  the  earth.  For 
unlike  living  voices  which  reach  us  through  the  slumber 
ous  sense  of  hearing,  their  meaning,  by  the  means  of  a 
magnetic  chord,  is  communicated  directly  to  the  heart. 
In  treading  over  the  hallowed  turf  that  hides  from  our 
sight  the  forms  of  our  loved  ones,  a  feeling  of  awe  and 
sadness  comes  over  us  that  almost  stifles  our  hearts  with 
its  intensity.  Then  comes  the  thought,  even  though  un 
bidden  and  unwelcome:  What  is  earthly  distinction  but 
vanity,  since  this  is  the  common  lot  of  all;  since  death, 
that  relentless  agency,  will  break  down  the  barriers  which 
divide  the  haughty  and  arrogant  from  the  most  debased 
and  shrinking  of  God's  creatures,  and  the}'  are  all  laid  to 
rest  side  by  side  in  the  lap  of  our  common  mother  earth. 
They  came  into  the  world,  served  their  probation  here 
and  are  gone;  but  that  mystery  of  mysteries,  that  of  birth 
and  death,  still  remains  unsolved.  The  mission  on  which 
they  were  sent,  together  with  the  degree  of  faithfulness 
with  which  they  were  carried  out,  God  alone  knows,  but 
we  are  met  on  all  sides  by  the  mute  appeal :  He  true  to 
your  trust,  be  true  to  yourself  and  your  God. 

As  we  pause  here  and  there  beside  those  sacred  mounds, 
to  read  the  inscriptions  that  have  been  placed  over  their 
tombs,  we  come  to  one  whom  the  world  has  honored, 
who,  by  the  power  invested  in  him  by  his  fellowmen, 
helped  to  make  the  nation's  laws,  and  by  the  nurture  of 


280  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

those  powers  with  which  he  was  endowed  by  the  Creator, 
by  his  noble  qualities  and  staunch,  unsullied  manhood, 
has  left  an  example  of  statesmanship,  citizenship  and 
brotherly  love  that  is  seldom  equalled  and  can  never  be 
surpassed.  There  is  no  inscription  to  tell  of  his  greatness 
or  his  goodness;  but  he  was,  during  his  whole  life,  en 
gaged  in  erecting  a  monument  to  his  memory  that  will 
speak  on  and  on  in  the  hearts  of  men,  and  will  inspire 
them  to  endeavor  by  perseverance,  patience  and  industry 
to  win  success  as  far  as  may  lay  within  their  power. 

Remote  from  this  is  the  grave  of  one  whom  the  people 
as  a  nation  knew  not,  for  God  had  fashioned  her  to  be 
only  a  helpmeet  to  man,  but  she  was  one  who  the  people, 
together  with  the  angels  in  heaven,  delight  to  honor,  and 
whose  image  is  indelibly  inscribed  upon  the  hearts  of  the 
youth  and  manhood  that  are  scattered  from  one  end  to 
the  other  of  this  fair  land,  and  her  influence  has  extended 
across  the  waters  into  foreign  lands.  While'  she  was 
helping  the  student  to  prepare  himself  to  reach  the  high 
est  aim  in  this  world,  she  also,  by  her  admonition  and 
saint-like  character,  pointed  him  to  God  and  the  higher 
life.  She  sought  to  alleviate  the  sin  and  suffering  of  the 
whole  town,  which  she  carried  as  a  burden  upon  her 
heart  daily  to  the  throne  of  grace.  Her  life  was  a  sacri 
fice,  which  she  offered  daily  and  hourly,  for  the  comfort 
of  others.  Her  voice  among  us  is  stilled,  but  it  will  in 
heaven,  as  it  did  on  earth,  have  the  power  to  call  about 
her  not  only  those  dear  to  her  by  earthly  ties,  but  the  un 
numbered  host  which  were  led  through  her  to  receive 
the  second  birth. 

Here  is  the  grave-stone  of  one  on  which  is  the  single 
word  "Father."  His  name  may  never  have  been  blaz 
oned  upon  the  pinnacle  of  fame.  He  may  only  willingly 
and  patiently  have  played  his  part  in  this  life's  drama,  in 


AN  HOUR  WITH  THE  DKAD.  281 

whatever  character  fate  and  circumstances  played  so  im 
portant  a  part  in  assigning  to  him.  He  may  have  been 
a  conscientious  and  devoted  worker  in  the  vineyard  of 
the  Lord,  and  purchased  his  own  salvation  with  the 
souls  of  men.  He  may  have  been  one  who  ministered  to 
the  intellectual  wants  of  the  youth  of  our  land,  a  busy 
member  of  the  mercantile  world,  a  tiller  of  the  soil,  or 
an  humble  toiler.  The  words  mean  the  same  to  those 
who  have  watered  his-  grave  with  their  tears,  for  he  was 
their  father. 

Here  is  one  on  which  is  the  word  "  Mother."  Who 
has  the  power  of  tongue  to  describe  the  inner  meaning 
of  that  name  ?  She  may  never  have  done  aught  else  than, 
to  bring  up  her  children  to  true  manhood  and  woman 
hood.  Her  name  may  never  even  have  been  heard  outside 
of  her  own  circle  of  family  and  friends ;  but  she  was  your 
mother.  She  was  ever  ready  and  patiently  willing  to  do 
those  things  which  no  other  could  or  would  do,  and 
closed  her  loving  eyes  with  the  burden  of  your  life  upon 
her  heart.  For  a  mother's  joys  can  only  exist  in  the  hap 
piness  of  her  children,  and  God  alone  knows  the  anxiety 
with  which  she  watches  over  them,  from  the  time  that 
they  are  ushered  helpless  into  this  life,  until  she  herself  is 
called  away — methinks  only  to  take  up  her  watch  on  the 
other  shore,  to  look  for  those  whom  God  had  given  her 
on  carpi  to  join  her  there. 

Here  is  the  grave  of  a  husband,  while  the  place  by  his 
side  is  vacant ;  and  although  he  has  lain  there  some 
twenty  or  thirty  years,  the  companion  of  his  youthful 
choice  has  no  other  wish  than  to  be  placed  by  his  side. 
Who  can  say  there  is  no  love  that  will  extend  beyond 
the  grave  ? 

Scattered  all  about  us  are  the  graves  of  brothers  and  sis 
ters,  sons  and  daughters,  who  died   in  their  childhood  or 
1 8 


282  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

early  maturity.  Only  He  who  knows  all  things  is  aware 
of  the  unrealized  hopes  that  lie  buried  here — not  only  the 
hopes  of  the  dead,  but  the  hopes  of  the  living  that  were 
centered  in  their  lives  and  success.  But  all,  even  the 
students  who  were  cut  down  in  the  bloom  of  youth  while 
endeavoring  to  prepare  themselves  to  help  solve  some  of 
life's  knotty  problems,  would  say  :  It  is  well  to  start 
manfully  in  the  race  of  life,  even  though  we  fall  by  the 
wayside. 

The  graves  of  infants,  who  die  before  their  tongues 
have  acquired  the  power  of  speech,  may  suggest  to  some 
the  termination  of  unbounded  possibilities.  Who  knows  ? 
They  may  have  been  sent  to  some  wayward  parent  to  be 
what  the  star  of  Bethlehem  was  to  the  wise  men  of  the 
East — to  lead  them  on  to  find  their  Savior,  that  they 
might  meet  them  in  that  land  of  peace. 

And  the  graves  of  those  over  whom  whom  we  place 
the  stars  and  stripes  may  give  to  the  dear  little  flags  a 
different  significance.  The  blue  is  the  emblem  of  un 
swerving  fidelity  to  truth  and  principle ;  the  red  is  no 
less  suggestive  of  the  blood  that  was  shed,  and  the  stripes 
of  the  suffering  that  those  heroes  endured  in  establishing 
the  right.  And  every  soul  that  was  freed  through  their 
instrumentality,  no  matter  how  black,  can  not  fail  to  be  a 
star  in  their  crowns. 

The  graves  of  those  over  whom  the  world  would  fain 
write  "failure"  speak  to  us  with  a  pathetic  earnestness. 
Be  merciful  to  those  who  are  struggling  despairingly  and 
hopelessly  by  your  side.  To  you  may  be  due  their  failure 
or  success ;  upon  you  may  depend  their  eternal  destiny ; 
your  indifference  and  neglect  may  lead  them  on  to  death 
and  ruin. 

Sad,  indeed,  would  be  the  contemplation  of  the  graves 
of  those  who  were  born  and  reared  in  foreign  lands,  and 


AN    HOUR    WITH    THE    DEAD.  283 

died  far  away  from  the  friends  and  scenes  most  dear  to 
them,  were  it  not  for  the  blessed  assurance  that  it  is  only 
their  bodies  which  lie  buried  there  and  that  their  spirits 
have  returned  to  the  God  who  gave. 

We  consign  the  forms  of  our  friends  to  the  sod,  and  it 
is  well  that  the  all-wise  Creator  has  ordained  a  degree  of, 
not  forgetfulness,  but  of  quiet  submission,  that  we  may 
be  better  able  to  do  our  duty  to  the  living. 

'  None  of  those  voices  had  the  power  to  arrest  the  atten 
tion  or  stay  the  steps  of  Mary  Grey  on  that  bright 
spring  afternoon.  The  language  which  would  one  year 
ago  have  caused  her  heart  to  swell  with  tender  memories 
and  deep,  heartfelt  emotions  was  inaudible  to  her.  She 
was  hastening  in  answer  to  the  voice  which  had  for  less 
than  one  short  year  been  stilled.  She  stood  for  some 
time  regarding  the  grave,  her  heart  too  full  for  even 
thought. 

Everything  had  been  done  as  she  had  directed.  The 
grave  had  been  filled  and  sodded.  As  she  looked  at  the 
inscription,  the  flood-gates  of  memory  were  swept  wide 
open.  She  thought  of  all  that  he  had  been  to  her,  as  she 
dropped  upon  her  knees. 

Strange  thoughts  will  sometimes  come  to  us  in  odd 
moments.  As  she  knelt  there  she  recalled  a  conversation 
that  she  had  had  with  Miss  Kclair.  That  lady  had  said: 
"  Mrs.  Grey,  I  have  often  wondered  which  of  the  two  is 
hardest  to  bear,  always  to  live  a  single  and,  owing  to 
our  natures,  a  partially  empty  life,  or  to  have  some  one 
to  love  and  lose  him  while  one  still  has  so  many  years  of 
life  before  her." 

"  Oh,"  she  thought,  "  I  would  go  over  the  pain  o!  los 
ing  Robert  again  rather  than  never  to  have  known  him." 
Then  she  thought:  "Oh,  if  he  had  known  what  was 
before  me,  how  hard  it  would  have  been  for  him  to  leave 


284  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

me.  I  am  so  glad  that  he  did  not ;  he  had  enough  to 
discourage  him  during  his  life,  without  having  his  last 
moments  darkened  by  fears  for  my  future.  Aside  from 
his  sorrow  at  the  parting,  he  was  perfectly  willing  and 
happy  to  go ;  this  is  all  that  makes  my  sorrow  endurable. 
But,  oh  !  why  was  he  called  upon  to  leave  me?  " 

Then  as  she  went  about  planting  the  flowers,  a  rose — 
not  his  rose,  but  a  similar  one  that  she  had  secured  from 
a  florist — and  a  bulb  with  its  young  shoot  of  a  pure  white 
111}*,  she  thought  of  another  grave  which  was  no  doubt 
by  this  time  made.  But  what  a  contrast  the  two  pre 
sented  !  While  the  form  of  the  one  that  lay  beneath  the 
mound  over  which  she  was  hovering  with  such  tender 
care  still  seemed  as  a  part  of  her  life,  even  though  robbed 
of  its  own  vitality  almost  a  year  ago,  the  angelic  form 
which  had  only  that  day  been  consigned  to  its  mother 
dust  was  one  from  whom  the  one  who  had  sworn  to  love, 
honor  and  cherish  until  death  do  part,  had  been  swiftly 
drifting,  and  from  whom  he  had  only  waited  to  be  freed, 
even  though  her  life  had  been  one  of  faith  and  devotion 
itself.  Oh,  how  sincerely  Mary  Grey  hoped  that  her  faith 
in  him  had  never  been  impaired  and  that  she  had  died 
fully  believing  him  to  be  all  that  she  could  have  wished. 

Then  she  thought:  "  O,  death,  thou  art  merciful, 
after  all!  Although  your  inevitable  summons  may  some 
times  seem  cruel  and  harsh  to  our  obscured  vision,  yet 
many  times  it  is  only  calling  some  poor  heart,  that  is 
unprepared  and  unequal  to  time's  disclosures,  to  a  peace 
ful  eternity." 

She  pianted  the  rose  at  his  head,  the  lily  at  his  feet, 
and  a  scarlet  geranium  in  the  center  of  the  mound. 
"  This,"  she  thought,  "will  bear  flowers  this  year  at  least, 
before  the  others  are  ready  to  bloom."  She  gave  the 
damp,  warm  earth  the  last  tender  touch,  then  went  and 


AN*    HOUR    WITH    THE    DEAD.  285 

passed  her  hand  lovingly  over  the  inscription,  laid  her 
cheek  lingeringly  against  his  name,  then  walked  away, 
thinking,  ''  God  alone  knows  when  I  will  see  that  grave 
again." 

She  met  her  mistress  in  the  morning,  and  in  one  year 
from  the  very  day  on  which  she  had  been  left  a  wridow, 
unused  to  the  tasks  of  a  menial,  unused  to  the  duties  of 
a  subordinate,  she  came  in  sight  of  the  shores  of  Europe 
a  waiting-maid. 


CHAPTER  XXIX. 

MRS.    GREY    HAD    GONE    TO    EUROPE. 

WHOLE  Cloverdale  was  agog  with  the  news,  "Mrs. 
Grey  has  gone  to  Europe.  Mrs.  Grey  has  gone 
to  Europe."  No  one  knew  with  whom  or  why  she  went, 
but  that  only  added  to  the  excitement  which  ran  at  fever 
heat.  But  that  she  was  gone  was  certain,  even  though 
her  best  friends  had  been  left  in  the  dark. 

"  I  am  glad  that  she  did  play  that  shabby  trick  on  Mrs. 
Ferris,"  said  Mrs.  Jones.  "That  important  personage 
always  acted  as  if  she  thought  that  no  one  had  a  right  to 
know  things  but  herself;  and  this  time  the  widow  did 
not  find  it  expedient  to  give  even  her  the  key  to  her 
movements,  and  it  is  good  enough  for  her." 

"But  she  might  inform  Colonel  Wilkins  of  her  where 
abouts  by  letter,"  said  Mrs.  Dixon,  with  her  usual  sly 
glance  at  Miss  Green.  "Was  she  as  handsome  and  win 
ning  as  ever  when  you  saw  her?  " 

"I  saw  her  the  evening  before  she  left.  She  was  pack 
ing  her  trunk  at  the  time.  She  pretended  that  she  was 
getting  ready  to  come  back  to  Cloverdale.  I  thought 
then  that  yon  would  all  soon  get  to  see  her  for  yourselves, 
but  she  seems  to  have  willed  otherwise." 

But  Miss  Green  said  nothing  about  the  conversation 
that  they  had  had  and  the  influence  that  she  firmly  be 
lieved  she  had  wielded,  for  she  fully  thought  herself  re 
sponsible  for  this  unexpected  move  upon  Mrs.  Grey's 
part. 

While  the  only  other  who  had  any  knowledge  of  the 
cause  was  thinking,  "If  it  had  not  been  for  that  woman 
I  might  have  plead  my  cause  in  such  a  way  that  she 

(286) 


MRS.  GREY  HAD  GONE  TO  EUROPE.         287 

would  still  have  regarded  me  as  a  friend,  and  in  time  I 
might  have  won  her." 

Miss  Green  did  not  know  how  near  she  had  guessed  the 
truth,  so  she  regarded  herself  as  a  propounder  of  a  clever 
scheme — a  scheme  which  rid  her  of  the  woman  whom 
she  now  regarded  in  the  light  of  a  rival. 

This  coincidence  in  the  minds  of  the  two  plotters  may 
seem  strange — it  may  even  seem  improbable — but  since 
two  are  sometimes  unknown  to  each  other  employing  the 
same  means  for  the  good  of  an  object,  why  should  not 
the  evil  minds  running  in  their  several  channels  some 
times  find  themselves  in  the  same  close  relationship:* 

It  was  through  Miss  Green  that  the  news  had  become 
generally  known.  She  told  it  with  a  /est  in  which  all  the 
controlling  power  that  she  could  summon  up  could  not 
hide  the  relief  and  satisfaction  that  it  afforded  her.  She 
made  a  brave  effort  to  appear  to  be  totally  engrossed 
with  the  mystery  connected  with  the  departure. 

Although  her  aspirations  in  regard  to  Colonel  Wilkins 
were  not  of  sudden  development,  she  had  never  spoken 
to  him  but  a  few  times  in  her  life,  and  not  at  all  lately. 
She  now  determined  to  employ  every  available  remedy  to 
strengthen  their  acquaintance.  She  would  have  an  ex 
cuse  for  accosting  him  now.  She  would  stop  him  to  tell 
him  about  Mrs.  Grey.  She  thought  he  would  be  glad  to 
hear  any  news  regarding  her  and  through  that  might  be 
led  to  being  pleased  with  her. 

The  gentleman  had  not  seen  Mrs.  Ferris  since  her  re 
turn  from  the  funeral,  and  so  was  not  prepared  tor  the 
news  that  Miss  Sarah  had  in  store  for  him,  nor  could  he- 
hide  the  shock  it  gave  him.  His  informant  was  not  de 
ceived  in  the  look  of  pain  which  came  for  a  moment  into 
his  eyes,  but  she  thought  :  "She  is  far  enough  away  now; 
he  will  be  sure  to  speak  to  me  after  this  and  may  in  time 


288  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

conclude  that  a  woman  who  has  been  too  sly  to  entrap 
and  even  now  can  not  be  had  just  for  the  asking,  is  after 
all  more  worth  trying  for  than  a  widow  who  makes  all 
the  advances." 

The  Colonel,  all  unconscious  of  the  feminine  charms 
with  which  he  was  to  be  assailed,,  was  taken  off  guard  at 
his  very  next  meeting  with  the  ambitious  spinster.  He 
had  been  to  see  Mrs.  Ferris  and  had  learned  all  that  could 
be  ascertained  regarding  Mrs.  Grey;  and  since  that 
seemed  to  him  to  be  the  only  subject  of  any  importance 
just  now,  he  wondered  a  little  when  she  approached  him 
the  second  time.  He  stopped  and  tried  to  hide  the  trial 
that  his  composure  was  undergoing,  while  he  waited  to 
hear  what  she  had  to  say. 

That  she  had  something  to  say  was  evident  and  that 
she  intended  to  steer  stealthily  to  the  point  was  soon  made 
plain.  She  first  introduced  the  subject  of  dear  Sister 
Grey,  but  that  failed  to  draw  him  out  as  it  had  before  and 
her  spirits  were  elated.  "  He  has  already  lost  interest  in 
her,"  she  thought.  "  The  cunning  widow  may  even  have 
thought  that  distance  would  lend  enchantment  and  that 
she  would  be  all  the  more  sure  of  him,  but  I  will  take 
my  chances  staying  near  the  man  every  time." 

"  What  lovely  May  weather  we  are  having,"  she  began. 
"  How  beautiful  the  country  must  be  now.  I  envy  you 
the  freedom  and  simplicity  of  your  lives  the  year  round, 
but  it  never  seems  so  alluring  as  in  this  month  of  fresh 
ness  and  flowers.  We  did  have  friends  in  the  country, 
and  had  a  May  festival  at  their  place  even"  year.  Not  a 
real  one,  you  know,  with  married  people  and  children  and 
everybody,  but  just  us  young  girls  and  boys.  They  mov 
ed  away  last  year,  and  we  have  not  had  one  this  spring 
yet." 

When  she  first  spoke  of  the  young  girls  and  boys  hav- 


MRS.  GREY    HAD    GONE    TO    EUROPE.  289 

ing  May  festivals,  he  thought  she  meant  years  ago,  but 
when  she  mentioned  last  year,  he  looked  at  her  as  if  he 
expected  her  to  laugh.  It  hnd  never  occurred  to  him  to 
associate  age  with  disrespect,  with  the  single  any  more 
than  with  the  married,  but  he  thought,  "  It  is  years  that 
makes  the  woman,  and  there  is  a  limit  to  girlhood,  even 
among  the  unmarried.  I  know  that  I  would  consider  it 
a  greater  mark  of  respect  to  be  called  woman."  But 
when  he  noticed  her  look  of  sincerity,  he  was  ashamed 
of  what  his  look  had  implied. 

But  she  did  not  notice,  or  else  had  determined  not  to 
be  exacting,  for  she  went  on  with  unruffled  sweetness, 
"  I  don't  see  how  we  can  let  the  spring  go  by  without  our 
annual  merry  making ;  it  would  cast  a  shadow  over  the 
brightness  of  the  whole  spring." 

"  It  would  be  too  late  for  a  May  festival,  would  it  not?" 

"  Oh,  no,  Colonel;  if  we  just  had  a  place  to  hold  it,  we 
could  have  it  vet." 

"  I  have  a  very  pretty  piece  of  timber  land  that  is  at 
your  disposal,  Miss  Green." 

"  Oh,  how  kind  of  you  to  offer  us  your  grove.  We  will 
all  be  delighted.  But  do  not  consider  our  interests  at  the 
sacrifice  of  your  own  pleasure.  You  know  when  we 
young  people  from  town  get  into  the  woods  wye  drop  all 
restraint  and  may  become  too  boisterous  to  be  congenial 
to  your  staid  country  tastes." 

"  \Ve  do  not  belong  to  the  staid  class.  On  the  contrary, 
we  are  a  fun  loving  people.  I  assure  you  that  it  is  in 
consideration  of  my  own  pleasure  that  I  give  the  invita 
tion.  It  always  gives  me  pleasure  to  see  others  enjoying 
themselves.  If  I  am  allowed  to  offer  a  suggestion,  I  will 
say  that  you  give  a  general  invitation  to  young  and  old 
alike,  then  my  sister  and  I  can  come  out  and  have  a  good 
time  with  the  rest  of  you." 


2QO  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

"  Why  certainly,  we  want  you  and  your  sister  to  come 
out,  but  you  could  do  that  if  no  one  but  us  young  people 
came.  But  since  you  are  the  owner  of  the  grove,  of 
course  you  have  a  right  to  invite  as  many  as  you  see  fit.'v 

"Well,  then  it  is  settled,  young  and  old  children,  and 
grown  people.  And  since  it  is  to  be  a  May  festival,  you 
will  be  obliged  to  have  it  next  Tuesday,  as  that  will  be 
the  last  of  May.  I  think  there  is  sometimes  more  enjoy 
ment  in  one  of  those  hurried  arrangements,  than  the 
events  that  are  prepared  for  at  such  length,  for  we  are  apt 
to  wear}'  more  or  less  at  the  thought,  and  the  freshness  is 
worn  off  before  the  time  arrives.  Next  Tuesday  be  it 
then." 

"Just  suit  yourself,  Colonel,  since  we  are  to  come  on 
your  special  invitation.  I  have  had  the  management  of 
so  many  such  affairs,  that  I  can  easily  make  all  the  neces 
sary  arrangements  until  then.  The  most  important  part 
will  be  the  choosing  of  the  May  queen,  not  that  we  have 
ever  had  much  trouble  about  that  so  far.  They  would 
like  to  have  had  me  several  times  to  be  the  queen  of  the 
May,  but  I  have  never  accepted  so  far,  but  I  believe  if 
they  choose  rue  again  I  will  serve.  Wouldn't  you,  Col 
onel  ? " 

"  I  see  no  reason  why  you  should  not,  Miss  Green.  I 
will  cast  my  vote  for  you." 

"  Oh,  how  kind  of  you  to  make  me  your  choice,  Colonel. 
I  will  not  soon  forget  it.  We  will  have  it  next  Tuesday 
and  I  hope  that  you  will  enjoy  the  occasion  as  much  as 
the  rest  of  us.  My  own  gay  spirits  never  make  me  heart 
less  or  thoughtless  about  others.  It  is  very  kind  of  you 
to  invite  us  out  to  your  place." 

The  days  intervening  were  very  busy  ones  to  the  ex 
pectant  Miss  Green.  The  whole  town  was  soon  made 
aware  that  they  were  to  have  a  rare  treat,  owing  to  the 


MRS.  GREY  HAD  GONE  TO  EUROPE.         29 1 

high  esteem  in  which  their  townswoman,  Miss  Green,  was 
held  by  Colonel  \Vilkins,  residing  a  few  miles  from  town, 
and  that  it  was  owing  to  his  generous  nature  that  they 
were  all  alike  to  be  invited  to  hold  a  May  festival  in  his 
grove  situated  along  the  river.  They  were  grateful,  of 
course,  but  a  few  spiteful  ones  took  occasion  to  make  re 
marks  when  they  were  told  that  the  gentleman  had  de 
manded  the  right  to  choose  the  queen  for  the  occasion, 
and  that  his  choice  had  fallen  upon  the  reluctant  Miss 
Green  herself,  who  had  at  last  been  prevailed  upon  to 
accept. 

"  That  is  hardly  in  accordance  with  the  man's  good 
sense,"  said  one,  ''  for  if  it  had  been  a  queen  for  Decem 
ber  that  was  wanted,  he  could  not  have  selected  a  more 
suitable  personage." 

"  A  queen  for  December,  you  say?"  said  another.  "  You 
had  better  say  a  queen  for  your  bee  hive,  to  do  the  sting 
ing  for  the  whole  swarm." 

"  Well,  I  consider  that  a  weak  point  in  the  strong  minds 
that  men  lay  such  claim  to.  Any  kind  of  woman  can  turn 
their  heads,  and  wheedle  them  into  arrangements  that  can 
can  not  fail  to  appear  ridiculous  to  all  beholders,"  said  a 
third  speaker. 

"  She  no  doubt  cajoled  him  into  asking  her,  and  since 
it  will  be  the  last  of  May,  it  will  not  be  so  inappropriate 
after  all,"  continued  the  first. 

But  those  sayings  failed  to  cast  the  faintest  shadow 
upon  the  complacency  of  their  object,  partly  because  she 
did  not  hear  them,  but  even  if  she  had  she  was  too  much 
engrossed  with  the  weight  of  her  responsibilities.  Was 
she  not  the  founder  of  this  project?  Was  it  not  through 
her  that  it  was  all  coming  about  ?  And,  most  important 
of  all,  was  she  not  to  be  the  queen  of  the  May?  The 
preparations  for  this  part  of  the  program  cost  the  most 


2Q2  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

flutterings.  She  could  not  fail  to  see  a  few  meaning  side 
glances,  if  she  did  not  resent  them.  She  was  innately 
conscious  that  she  must  present  the  most  youthful  ap 
pearance  possible  to  avoid  open  ridicule.  So  the  phar 
maceutist  was  consulted  in  confidence  about  the  efficacy 
of  various  compounds.  That  they  produced  results  there 
is  no  doubt,  judging  from  the  satisfied  expression  with 
which  she  stood  before  her  mirror. 

She  arranged  a  wreath  of  artificial  orange  blossoms 
and  placed  them  upon  her  head,  thinking,  "  Surely  he 
can  not  fail  to  see  how  becoming  such  an  arrangement  is 
to  me."  And  she  almost  wished  that  she  could  be  crowned 
with  those  made  flowers,  rather  than  something  not  so 
significant.  But  she  would  take  a  bunch  of  those  early 
white  roses  along  and  place  them  in  a  conspicuous  place, 
and  some  of  them  could  not  fail  to  see  the  propriety  of 
their  use. 

She  instructed  Mrs.  Jones  in  the  line  of  procedure  for 
the  day.  The  aspiring  maiden  had  at  last  concluded  that 
if  the  occasion  was  to  produce  its  hoped  for  results  she 
must  have  some  one  to  manage  it  to  her  account,  and 
had  thrown  herself  unreservedly  upon  the  good  will  of 
that  matron  ;  and  she,  in  return  for  the  faith  placed  in 
her  skill,  promised  to  do  all  in  her  power  to  bring  the 
affair  to  a  favorable  termination. 

The  day  came  and  went,  as  even  such  days  have  a 
habit  of  doing.  It  had  been  a  fever  of  intermingled  hope 
and  fear,  but  Miss  Green  considered  that  the  balance 
stood  in  her  favor  and  felt  encouraged  thereby.  There 
had  been  some  vexations,  of  course ;  but  who  had  ever 
heard  of  an  outing  without  its  subsequent  drawbacks? 
So  she  had  tried  to  hide  the  sinking  at  her  heart  when 
she  went  to  bring  her  supply  of  roses  into  prominence 
and  found  them  gone. 


MRS.  GREY  HAD  GONE  TO  EUROPE.         293 

But  the  sly  boys  had  not  only  stolen  her  roses,  but  had 
scoured  the  woods  and  country  over,  and  had  plucked  and 
pulled  to  pieces  every  flower  that  they  could  find  with  the 
exception  of  a  plentiful  supply  of  dandelion  blossoms.  So 
when  the  moment  of  coronation  came,  instead  of  a  \vreath 
of  pure  white  roses,  a  hastily  constructed  one  of  those  ill- 
smelling  flowers  was  placed  upon  her  youthful  brow.  But 
she  arose  to  the  occasion,  and  smiled  all  the  sweeter  to 
counteract  the  harmful  effects  of  the  bright  yellow  color 
upon  her  complexion. 

Meanwhile  the  boys  who  had  appropriated  the  pros 
pective  garland  were  on  the  bank  of  the  river  in  a  remote 
part  of  the  grove. 

"What  shall  we  do  with  these  roses?"  said  one.  "It 
would  be  a  pity  to  tear  them  to  pieces." 

"Oh,  throw  them  into  the  river,"  said  another,  "and  let 
the  fish  get  a  shiff  at  them." 

"  I  know  what  to  do  with  them,  boys,"  said  a  third  ; 
"  we  will  fish  with  them.  I  know  that  she  wanted  them 
for  bait 'to  catch  a  sucker ;  then  surely  some  fool  minny 
ought  to  take  a  nibble." 

So  in  high  glee  the  roses  were  tied  to  numerous  pieces 
of  cord  and  fastened  to  sticks,  and  then  dropped  into  the 
water.  But  since  they  seldom  venture  to  the  surface,  the 
fragrance  did  not  prove  a  snare  to  the  finny  tribe  ;  so,  after 
making  various  pretensions  at  pulling  out  huge,  unman 
ageable  catches,  and  acting  in  general  as  boys  usually  do 
along  an  exhiliarating  river  bank,  they  ambled  back  to 
civili/ation,  and  were  just  in  time  to  witness  the  last 
scene  on  the  program. 

This  little  drama  had  been  planned  and  replanned  by 
the  two  women,  but  Mrs.  Jones  depended  upon  her  tact 
to  make  it  appear  spontaneous.  So  she  exclaimed  all  at 
once,  as  if  flustratecl  by  the  newness  of  the  idea  : 


294  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

"  How  nice  it  would  be  to  end  the  day  with  a  little 
wedding !  Jones  will  play  the  parson.  Now  we  must 
find  a  man  who  is  worthy  of  a  queen  for  a  bride.  Oh; 
here  is  the  Colonel !  Come,  we  will  give  you  the  honor 
of  being  the  groom — come  !  " 

"Oh,  no!"  answered  the  hapless  man,  coloring  visibly; 
"I  would  consider  myself  fortunate  to  be  thought  worthy 
of  a  good  woman,  and  would  not  think  of  aspiring  to  a 
royal  personage.  You  can  surely  find  some  one  better 
suited." 

But  the  woman  persisted,  and  the  unfortunate  Colonel 
could  not  be  false  to  his  gallantry  and  was  just  coming 
forth  to  take  his  stand  like  a  martyr,  and  Jones,  who  had 
been  initiated  into  the  mysteries  of  marriage  ceremonies 
and  drilled  by  his  good  wife  how  to  apply  it  ( even  though 
against  his  will),  had  turned  his  back  to  take  a  final  look 
at  the  scrap  of  paper  upon  which  he  had  made  an  outline 
of  what  was  expected  of  him,  when  the  air  was  rent  with 
shouts  from  the  nearest  point  of  the  river,  toward  which 
the  boys  had  just  that  moment  scampered. 

"Jack  has  fallen  into  the  river!  Jack  has  fallen  into 
the  river ! " 

In  a  remarkably  short  time  every  man,  woman,  and 
child  was  by  the  water's  edge,  but  only  to  find  that  the 
Jack  was  the  Colonel's  dog,  who  liked  water  as  well  as 
dry  land.  The  boys,  however,  stood  by  as  innocent  as 
lambs,  while  the  owner  called  the  spaniel  out  and  scolded 
him  for  giving  them  all  such  a  fright. 

They  soon  returned,  to  find  that  the  queen  had  not  left 
her  throne,  but  was  still  sitting  on  the  stump  which  had 
been  beautified  with  leaves  and  moss,  and  was  waiting 
for  her  impromptu  groom. 

The  Colonel  walked  up  a  second  time,  like  a  sheep  to 
the  slaughter,  and  Jones  was  about  to  begin  the  ritual, 


MRS.  GRKY  HAD  GOXK  TO  EUROPE.         295 

which  he  had  now  mastered,  thanks  to  the  delay,  when  a 
display  of  lung  power  sounded  from  the  other  end  of  the 
woods,  and  a  half  do/en  voices  joined  in  announcing  to 
the  relieved  Colonel  that  he  was  wanted  at  the  house  that 
very  minute,  and  a  hurried  excuse  was  all  that  time  per 
mitted. 

The  sovereign  ruler  was  ready  to  at  once  descend  from 
her  royal  seat,  but  the  crowd  were  not  going  to  permit 
any  such  move.  "  Keep  your  seat !  Keep  your  seat !  " 
said  a  dozen  voices  at  once.  "  We  will  find  some  one  else 
to  take  his  place." 

The  marriage  ceremony  had  suddenly  lost  all  its  charms 
for  the  defeated  woman  ;  but  since  she  was  given  no  voice 
in  the  matter,  she  was  forced  to  reseat  herself,  while  some 
tricky,  thoughtless  young  people  hurried  the  village  inno 
cent  to  her  side.  This  worthy  did  not  seem  at  all  averse 
to  the  arrangement.  He  had  long  been  casting  sly,  \vist- 
ful  glances  at  all  the  girls  in  town.  Age  and  beauty  did 
not  enter  largely  into  the  question  with  him. 

He  looked  at  the  queen  as  if  he  would  like  to  devour 
her,  bitter  dandelions  and  all.  He  dropped  upon  one 
knee  beside  the  stump  and  took  her  hand,  with  a  silly 
grin,  into  his  own,  which  closed  over  it  like  a  cabbage 
leaf.  The  infuriated  Sarah  looked  daggers  at  the 
crowd,  but  had  no  choice  but  to  submit.  So  the  cere 
mony  was  gone  through  with  to  the  bitter  end.  Xor 
was  this  to  be  the  end  of  her  predicament.  The  newly 
espoused  husband  hung  about  her  as  if  he  would  much 
rather  take  a  serious  view  of  the  matter  than  to  regard 
it  in  the  light  of  a  joke ;  and  even  after  she  had  taken 
occasion  to  tell  him  that  he  was  a  fool  and  an  idiot,  when 
the  wagons  in  which  they  had  come  had  reached  Clover- 
dale  and  were  distributing  their  loads  at  the  respective 
front  gates,  he  acted  as  if  his  mind  was  divided  between 
following  her  and  iroing  to  his  own  home. 


296  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

But  in  spite  of  all  this,  she  had  nothing  to  complain  of. 
The  Colonel  had  paid  her  as  marked  attention  as  his 
duties  as  host  had  permitted.  "  He  was  willing  to  play 
the  part  of  husband,"  she  thought.  "  It  was  not  his  fault 
that  he  was  called  away.  He  certainly  seemed  reluctant 
to  go  when  the  summons  came,  and  he  excused  himself 
so  politely  to  me."  Yes,  he  had  only  asked  her  to  excuse 
him,  although  the  whole  crowd  were  waiting  for  the  little 
play  as  much  as  she  was. 

So  various  other  little  plans  came  into  her  head  where 
by  she  might  fan  his  interest  into  a  flame.  "  After  you 
have  once  put  your  hand  to  the  plow  it  is  folly  to.  turn 
back,"  she  thought.  "And  a  woman  has  a  perfect  right 
to  make  herself  as  attractive  as  possible." 

But  her  pains  were  wasted  so  far  as  Colonel  Wilkins 
was  concerned,  for  days  had  lengthened  into  weeks,  and 
weeks  into  months,  and  she  had  not  so  much  as  caught  a 
glimpse  of  his  fine  figure. 


CHAPTER  XXX. 

TOMMY'S  PLANS. 

THK  day  after  the  May  festival  was  a  very  busy  one 
for  Tommy  Green.  He  and  his  chum  had  been  in 
close  consultation  for  some  time  in  the  stable  mow  after 
their  return  from  the  woods,  and  the  result  was  a  full- 
fledged  scheme. 

They  could  not  carry  it  out  alone,  but  they  could  easily 
get  all  the  other  boys  to  help  them;  so  a  meeting  was 
called  on  the  commons,  the  stable  mow  being  too  small  to 
hold  the  motley  crew,  which  ranged  in  ages  from  eight  to 
fifteen. 

All  the  little  boys  were  to  be  excluded,  and  this  cost 
them  not  a  little  trouble,  for  what  the  smaller  boys  lacked 
in  si/e  they  seemed  to  more  than  make  up  for  in  persist 
ence,  and  how  to  elude  them  was  the  question.  It  was 
only  after  they  were  promised  that  they  would  be  invited 
to  the  general  "round-up,"  that  those  upon  whom  the  fatal 
age  line  had  been  drawn  were  at  last  persuaded  to  go  off 
to  themselves  ;  and  even  then  there  would  occasionally  a 
small  straggler  find  his  way  into  the  ranks  of  "us  1  jig- 
boys."  But  even  those  who  were  enlisted  in  the  general 
cause  were  not  let  into  its  full  secrets. 

Tommy  and  his  chum  thought  that  more  than  likely  it 
would  be  advisable  to  keep  that  to  themselves,  so  the  rest, 
who  were  expected  to  lend  such  valuable  assistance,  were 
only  told  that  there  was  a  plan  by  which  they  could  all 
have  a  "  rousin' "  good  time  if  they  would  help  the  project 
along  by  various  means  which  would  be  made  plain  to 
them;  that  a  great  deal  depended  upon  their  willingness, 

"9  <297) 


298  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

but  if  they  all  proved  equal  to  the  occasion,  they  would 
not  be  the  losers. 

They  needed  a  little  money,  but  they  could  easily  earn 
every  cent  required  in  a  couple  of  weeks,  so  they  were  all 
asked  how  they  thought  they  could  best  turn  an  honest 
penny.  Then  a  solemn  promise  was  'enacted  from  each 
and  every  member  of  the  willing  band,  that  they  would 
not  spend  a  penny  of  their  earnings  for  one  month,  with 
the  privilege  of  extending  the  time  if  necessary.  They 
had  nothing  else  near,  so  an  old  almanac  came  into  good 
play  over  which  to  make  their  binding  protestations. 

After  all  the  necessary  formula  had  been  gone  through 
with  and  hands  had  been  shaken  all  around  to  seal  the 
compact,  they  disbanded,  but  not  before  they  had  been 
assured  that  any  breaking  of  the  rules  would  be  followed 
by  direful  results;  that  the  culprit  would  be  obliged  to 
chose  between  being  tied  hands  and  feet  and  ducked  in 
the  river,  or  a  thorough  egging,  and  they  were  assured 
that  freshness  of  the  eggs  would  not  be  an  essential  feat 
ure. 

They  all  knew  that  escape  would  be  impossible,  and 
also  \vhat  such  punishment  would  mean  at  the  hands  of 
a  score  or  more  of  boys  endowed  with  a  determination 
equal  to  their  own,  so  the}-  wisely  concluded  to  do  their 
best,  and  by  the  next  morning  it  appeared  like  the  whole 
town  had  been  turned  into  an  industrial  school  for  boys. 
They  presented  very  much  the  appearance  of  a  swarm  of 
bees  starting  out  in  various  directions  to  gather  honey. 
Some  of  them  did  turns  for  the  different  grocers  and  took 
a  few  ears  of  popcorn  and  the  rest  in  sugar  in  return. 
This  they  took  home  to  their  sisters  and  mothers,  who 
they  persuaded  to  make  it  into  balls  for  them  by  promis 
ing  strict  obedience  for  a  given  time. 

For  these  they  borrowed  baskets,  and  "Nice  fresh  pop- 


TOMMY'S  PLANS.  299 

corn  balls  !  nice  fresh  pop-corn  balls  !  "  could  be  heard 
from  the  various  points  of  the  compass  at  once;  while 
others  had  been  to  the  river  with  hooks  and  lines,  and 
were  calling  "Fresh  fish!  fresh  fish!"  while  at  a  cor 
ner  of  the  street  that  led  to  the  river,  a  little  fellow  stood 
by  a  barrel,  which  he  had  turned  bottom  side  up,  and  was 
using  as  a  counter  to  display  his  wares,  and  was  shouting 
lustily,  "Fishermen,  right  here  is  the  place  to  get  your 
nice  fresh  bait:  a  cent  a  box." 

More  than  one  mother  found  her  spice  boxes  emptied 
into  cups,  saucers  and  pans  to  supply  the  demand,  while 
every  available  foot  of  ground  had  been  upturned  in 
search  of  the  inoffensive  fishworm. 

Still  others  were  going  from  door  to  door  inquiring  if 
there  were  any  stray  cats  about  which  they  would  like  to 
have  killed.  These  they  offered  to  dispatch  at  three  cents 
apiece  or  two  for  five  cents.  Their  method  of  execution 
of  condemned  cats  was  to  hang  them  by  the  necks  until 
they  were  dead.  In  so  doing  their  pelts  were  not  dam 
aged,  for  which  they  received  five  cents  apiece  from  the 
village  furrier ;  and  many  a  poor  kitty,  which  could  not 
have  been  found  guilty  of  vagrancy  in  a  court  of  law, 
was  doomed  to  the  same  fate;  and  many  tears  were  shed 
when  various  valued  pets  would  no  longer  come  at  the 
owner's  call. 

The  dealer  promised  to  put  the  furs  out  of  sight  at 
once,  so  that  all  traces  would  be  covered  up.  This  en 
couraged  a  more  persistent  onslaught  upon  poor  tabby. 
Oh,  what  a  busy  time!  It  was  hard  to  get  them  all  posi 
tions  in  the  great  mercantile  world  on  such  short  order, 
so  some  had  to  even  content  themselves  with  holding 
skeins  of  yarn  or  doing  other  little  odds  for  their  mother, 
while  others  promised  to  rid  the  premises  of  rats  and  mice, 
so  much  per  head.  A  few  determined  ones  stole  slyly 


300  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

out  with  their  father's  blacking  box  and  brush  tucked 
under  their  arms,  and  "  A  shine  !  a  shine ! "  was  being 
sung  by  more  than  one  piping  voice. 

In  the  evening  at  dusk,  just  when  business  was  at  its 
dullest,  they  met,  but  were  obliged  to  go  to  a  different 
place  every  time,  for  some  of  those  who  had  not  arrived 
at  the  proper  age  either  did  not  consider  their  promise 
binding,  or  else  were  entirely  overcome  with  curiosity, 
and  usually  succeeded  in  finding  their  meeting  about 
the  time  that  the  most  important  business  had  been 
transacted ;  but  this  necessitated  a  change  of  place. 

The}-  compared  notes,  threw  their  money  into  the  gen 
eral  fund  and  exchanged  occupations  when  some  of  them 
expressed  themselves  as  tired  of  the  old;  and  sometimes 
they  found  it  advisable  to  engage  in  something  new. 

The  busiest  of  the  boys  were  Tommy  and  his  particu 
lar  friend.  There  were  so  many  things  that  depended 
entirely  upon  themselves.  One  thing  that  caused  them 
not  a  little  anxiety,  was  the  fact  that  they  would  be 
obliged  to  make  a  vast  improvement  in  their  hand  writ 
ing  to  carry  out  their  plan  successfully. 

Tommy  sweetly  asked  his  sister  to  write  the  first  copy 
in  his  new  writing  book,  and  then  applied  himself  assidu 
ously  to  imitating  her  peculiar  strokes  and  shades;  but 
he  found  it  even  more  difficult  than  he  thought  to  bring 
his  rough,  uneven  scrawl  into  any  semblance  to  a 
woman's  hand. 

The  other  boy  wrote  a  letter  to  his  uncle,  who  was 
teaching  school,  so  as  to  get  a  hand  that  had  not  been 
impaired  by  business.  He  put  "in  haste"  on  the  envel 
ope  and  "  in  haste  for  a  reply  "  on  the  inside  of  the  letter, 
and  the  answer  was  prompt.  By  diligent  practice  the 
boys  proved  that,  although  practice  did  not  make  perfect, 
it  did  improve  wonderfully. 


TOMMY'S  PLANS.  301 

At  first,  when  so  many  new  industries  sprang  up  sud 
denly  among  them,  the  Cloverdale  people  thought  it  was 
only  one  of  the  temporary  fits  and  starts  to  which  boys 
are  subject;  so  when  the  second  and  third  week  came  and 
their  energies  were  not  yet  visibly  abated,  they  were  sur 
prised  and  began  to  think  that  this  was  no  ordinary  case, 
and  that  the  little  chaps  had  the  "stuff"  in  them  and 
their  respect  for  the  lads  increased.  So  when  they  asked 
for  various  little  loans,  with  which  to  carry  on  their  dif 
ferent  lines  of  business,  they  met  with  few  refusals. 

On  vSaturday  night  of  the  third  week  they  called  a 
special  meeting.  It  was  necessary  to  know  then  if  the 
sum  could  be  raised  so  as  to  give  the  two  a  week  for  the 
final  arrangements.  The  boys  had  each  emptied  his 
pockets  into  the  hands  of  the  treasurer  or  treasurers 
every  evening,  so  they  had  not  the  least  notion  of  the  sum 
that  had  been  raised.  The  "bank"  thought  this  the 
safest  plan,  for  fear  some  of  those  engaged  in  earning  it 
might  not  be  satisfied  with  their  share  of  the  proceeds; 
neither  did  they  know  the  sum  required,  although  the 
leaders  knew  the  exact  amount  it  would  take  to  buy  the 
necessary  articles.  Before  the}'  separated  they  concluded 
that  the  thing  could  be  done  in  another  week;  and  if 
they  did  not  have  enough  when  the  time  came,  each  one 
who  had  any  credit  with  his  parents  or  relatives  was  to 
borrow  a  quarter.  These  were  to  be  returned  to  them 
the  first  of  the  following  week. 

Hut  now  began  the  tug  of  war  for  the  two  schemers. 
In  the  first  place,  two  letters  must  be  written,  one  in  a 
lady's  hand,  the  other  in  a  man's:  but  what  proved  to  be 
the  most  difficult  part  was  the  wording.  Hoth  had  writ 
ten  letters,  but  they  had  been  messages  characteristic  of 
themselves,  but  to  impersonate  others  was  not  so  easy. 

They  bought  ten   cents  worth   of  gilt-edged  paper  be- 


3O2  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

tween  them,  but  that  was  as  nothing,  and  they  had  to 
make  a  second  trip  to  the  stationers.  This  second  sup 
ply  was  nearly  exhausted  before  they,  produced  anything 
like,  according  to  their  way  of  thinking,  a  love  letter 
should  look;  but  at  last  they  were  sent,  and  the  results 
were  now  inevitable. 

They  next  went  to  the  clothiers  to  see  if  everything 
would  be  in  readiness  on  time  there.  Yes,  the  articles 
would  all  be  ready  as  soon  as  they  came  with  the  money. 
The  boys  had  told  the  merchant  that  they  wanted  to 
present  a  man  the  exact  size  of  Colonel  Wilkins  with  a 
suit  of  clothes,  and  that  the}'  wanted  them  to  be  exactly 
like  that  gentleman  wore,  even  to  the  hat,  suspenders 
and  tie. 

The  dealer  told  them  that  he  had  the  very  articles  that 
they  were  in  search  of,  size  and  all,  and  had  Colonel  Wil 
kins'  measure  and  a  piece  of  the  cloth  from  which  he  had 
been  having  his  suits  cut  for  years,  and  that  they  could 
have  the  whole  outfit  for  twelve  dollars,  spot  cash.  He 
told  them  that  he  was  giving  them  a  rare  bargain  because 
they  were  nice  little  boys,  and  wanted  to  make  a  man  a 
present. 

The  boys  next  went  to  the  second-hand  dealer  to  see 
if  he  would  be  as  good  as  his  word.  Yes,  if  the  outfit 
cost  twelve  dollars  and  were  only  worn  the  next  Sunday, 
and  brought  to  him  on  the  following  Monday,  and  was 
not  soiled  in  the  least,  he  would  give  them  one-third  of 
the  original  value.  Second-hand  dealers  are  never  very 
exacting,  so  the  boys  did  not  think  it  necessary  to  give 
an}-  account  of  their  proceedings. 

They  then  went  to  the  fellow  who  had  been  one  of  the 
contracting  parties  at  the  little  make-believe  wedding  at 
the  May  festival.  This  poor  fellow's  body  had  grown  so 
fast  that  his  intellect  had  been  left  very  much  in  the  rear. 


TOMMYS    PLANS.  303 

He  had  only  had  now  and  then  a  glimpse  of  his  queenly 
bride  since  the  happy  event,  although  he  had  walked  past 
her  home  a  few  times  every  day,  and  tried  in  various 
ways  to  get  himself  noticed  by  her.  So  he  smiled  in 
a  thoroughly  pleased  way  to  receive  a  visit  from  her 
brother,  who  plunged  at  once  into  business. 

"  Say,  Moses,  how  would  you  like  to  go  to  see  my 
sister  next  Sunday  evening,  all  rigged  out  in  a  tip-top, 
spankin'  new  suit?" 

He  was  never  called  Moses  only  on  extra  occasions, 
but  almost  anything  else  instead,  and  at  best  Mossy  ;  but 
this  was  an  extra  occasion,  and  that  he  realized  it  fully 
could  be  seen  by  his  grins  and  blushes.  After  protesting 
weakly  for  a  time,  with  his  heart  in  his  mouth,  he  finally 
consented  when  Tommy  had  assured  him  that  any  girl 
would  be  tickled  to  death  to  have  him  come  to  see  her 
when  he  would  be  all  fixed  up  in  the  new  suit  they  were 
going  to  lend  to  him. 

After  the  boys  felt  assured  that  they  had  made  the 
chief  actor  in  their  little  play  understand  his  part,  they 
set  themselves  about  to  find  some  way  to  earn  a  part  of 
the  money  that  was  still  lacking ;  and  since  good  will, 
that  conquerer  of  seemingly  insurmountable  obstacles, 
was  not  wanting,  with  their  help  and  the  borrowed  quar 
ters,  the  amount  loomed  up  to  the  required  proportions 
and  they  were  happy — at  least  the  two.  But  the  other 
little  aspirants  were  not  so  sure  that  the}"  were  being 
treated  as  boys  should  be,  who  had  been  bending  every 
energy  and  shouted  themselves  so  hoarse  that  lobelia  and 
other  noxious  herb  teas  had  been  the  consequence. 

vSo  when  the  treasurers  thanked  them  for  their  untir 
ing  efforts  and  walked  off  with  their  quarters  and  the  last 
day's  earnings,  there  were  symptoms  of  dissatisfaction 
breaking  out  here  and  there.  These  spread  in  such  an 


304  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

alarming  degree  that  in  a  very  short  time  the  whole  crowd 
was  infected.  The  last  few  days  had  been  hard  work. 
Their  industries  had  grown  old  and  did  not  yield  the 
profit  they  had  in  the  flush  of  their  youth ;  so  this  had  to 
be  made  up  with  a  redoubling  of  their  diligence.  And 
now  that  the  two  leaders  should  walk  off  with  the  money, 
without  so  much  as  telling  them  what  it  was  to  be  spent 
for,  was  more  than  they  could  endure  without  murmur 
ing.  That  Tommy  and  his  chum  were  playing  it  with  a 
high  hand  was  evident  to  the  meekest  minded  of  the  lot. 
They  told  them  that  their  part  of  the  pleasure,  which 
they  had  been  working  for  so  unceasingly  and  in  the 
dark  (as  they  expressed  it),  was  to  come  off  the  next 
Monday  night,  when  they  would  have  a  bonfire,  with 
plenty  of  fire-crackers,  and  there  was  to  be  no  limit  to 
the  pop-corn  and  taffy  ;  but  these  things  had  lost  their 
charms,  and  they  felt  slighted  and  insulted. 

But  the  two  who  caused  the  dissatisfaction  were  in 
high  glee.  They  told  the  boys  that  the  rules  of  the 
society  were  still  binding,  and  that  the  verdict  would  be 
read  to  any  one  who  dared  to  indulge  in  any  unseemly 
conduct  before  they  were  formally  dismissed,  and  then 
went  with  the  quarters  and  last  few  dimes,  nickels,  and 
pennies  jingling  in  their  pockets,  to  a  secret  place  in  the 
stable  mow,  to  a  box  which  had  served  as  a  safe  in  which 
to  hide  their  accumulated  wealth.  This  was  so  heavy  in 
proportion  to  its  value  that  it  necessitated  several  trips  to 
the  tailor's  shop  and  back. 

But  at  last  the  whole  amount  had  found  its  way  into  the 
man's  drawer,  and  they  had  the  coveted  suit,  hat,  suspend 
ers,  and  tie— identical  with  those  that  Colonel  Wilkins 
wore — and  were  on  their  way  to  the  house  where  Mossy 
lived  alone  with  his  mother,  a  woman  who,  blinded  by  her 
mother-love  for  her  only  son,  could  recognize  no  deficien- 


TOMMY  S    PLAN'S.  305 

cies  in  him,  but  on  the  contrary  she  set  great  store  by 
him.  He  was  one  who  would  succeed  with  the  most 
fastidious  and  exacting  miss  in  town  if  it  were  not  for  his 
bashfulness  and  innate  modesty.  She  had  looked  with 
pride  upon  the  little  episode  at  the  May  festival.  Was  not 
the  fact  of  his  being  chosen  from  among  all  the  rest  a 
proof  of  the  popularity  of  her  idoli/ed  son  ?  vSo  it  was 
with  much  trepidation  and  flutterings  that  she  admitted 
the  two  boys,  who,  after  hiding  their  several  bundles  in 
an  out-shed,  had  knocked  at  her  kitchen  door  ;  for  was  not 
the  glory  of  this  marked  attention  in  some  way  due  to  her 
for  being  his  mother  and  bringing  him  up  as  he  was  ? 

"  Oh,  yes,"  she  said;  "  Moses  is  up  in  his  room,  smart 
ing  himself  up  a  bit  before  he  goes  out.  He  is  getting 
that  particular  with  himself  that  I  can  hardly  get  his 
shirt  bosoms  and  handkerchiefs  to  suit  him,  although  one 
would  think  they  would  break  for  stiffness.  Hut  that  is 
natural  with  young  gentlemen  ;  the  more  they  are  thought 
of,  the  more  favor  they  hanker  after.  Oh,  yes,  go  right 
up  ;  he  will  be  glad  to  see  you,"  with  a  relationship  smile 
at  Tommy,  which  was  not  lost  upon  that  urchin. 

They  went  up,  and  found  the  young  hopeful,  who  was 
still  in  the  act  of  smarting  up,  giving  the  top  of  his  head 
man}-  affectionate  little  touches  with  comb  and  brush,  and 
trying  to  coax  the  reluctant  growth  on  his  upper  lip  into 
luxuriance  by  smiling  at  it  encouragingly  in  the  glass. 

The  sight  of  Tommy  affected  him  much  as  it  did  his 
mother.  A  visit  from  Tommy  was,  of  course,  a  little 
different  than  if  it  had  been  just  some  other  boy;  and  it 
did  much  toward  strengthening  that  link  when  the  mis- 
chievious  boy  began  : 

"  Moses,  I  know  that  vSis  will  be  as  pleased  as  a  pigeon 
to  have  you  come  to  see  her  tomorrow  night,  if  you  tix 
yourself  up  real  nice.  \Ve  bought  a  suit  to  give  away  to 


306  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

some  one,  but  will  let  you  wear  it  once,  and  you  will  look 
so  sleek  in  it  that  the  other  girls  will  all  be  jealous.  Go 
down  to  the  shed  and  get  the  bundles,  then  you  can 
smart  yourself  up  in  them." 

Moses  was  not  quite  as  large  as  the  man  over  whose 
measure  the  suit  had  been  cut,  but  a  newspaper  folded 
across  his  chest  and  one  over  each  shoulder,  and  one  half 
folded  down  his  back,  did  wonders  toward  filling  the 
vacuum  and  helped  to'  give  him  the  breadth  and  thick 
ness.  The  hat,  unlike  the  rest,  was  a  little  small,  but  the 
leather  band  could  easily  be  ripped  out  for  the  occasion. 

After  his  toilet  was  made,  the  boys  thought  the  resem 
blance  between  Moses  and  the  Colonel  striking  with  the 
exception  of  his  mustache ;  but  they  had  come  prepared 
for  even  that  deficiency,  for  Tommy  had  stolen  his  sister's 
false  front.  With  this  they  had  some  trouble.  Even  with 
the  assistance  of  scissors  and  comb  they  could  not  get  the 
cunningly  contrived  little  ringlets  to  take  on  the  sem 
blance  of  a  sober  mustache ;  so  they  had  been  obliged  to 
go  to  a  barber. 

This  man,  who  had  been  ministering  to  the  tangled 
visages  of  the  whole  town  for  a  number  of  years,  smiled 
a  little  when  the  boys  asked  him  how  much  he  would 
take  to  remodel  that  into  a  mustache  exactly  like  Colonel 
Wilkins'.  He  knew  the  boys  and  the  extent  of  their 
mischief,  but  he  had  not  forgotten  his  own  boyhood.  So 
he  told  them  that  he  would  do  his  very  best  for  them, 
and  it  should  not  cost  them  a  cent ;  and  his  "  very  best  " 
had  produced  an  exact  counterpart  to  the  mustache  worn 
by  the  dignified  Colonel. 

Moses  could  not  quite  understand  why  his  own  modest 
growth,  which  to  him  was  a  wonder  indeed,  should  be 
concealed  ;  but  he  would  have  been  willing  to  submit  to 
almost  anything  with  such  an  all-absorbing  pleasure  in 


TOMMY'S  PLANS.  307 

view.  But  he  could  not  help  wincing  a  little  after  the 
mustache  had  been  duly  fitted  to  his  upper  lip  and  the 
glue  clung  so  tenaciously  that  some  of  his  own  tender 
pets  were  extracted  by  the  roots  in  removing  it. 

The  boys  declared  to  him  that  Sis  would  never  even 
look  at  another  fellow  after  she  had  once  seen  him  in 
that  rig,  but  that  he  must  not  put  it  on  until  they  came  to 
help  him,  about  four  o'clock,  because  they  knew  just  how 
the  newspapers  ought  to  be  folded. 

After  various  little  speeches,  which  they  meant  to  be 
reassuring,  and  which  accomplished  that  for  which  they 
were  intended  even  beyond  the  boys'  most  sanguine  ex 
pectations,  they  left  and  went  home. 

Tommy  knew  that  his  sister  had  received  her  letter. 
He  could  not  tell  why,  but  he  could  tell.  He  had  been 
brought  up  in  the  house  with  grown  girls,  and  prided 
himself  on  his  cleverness  in  discerning  their  little  char 
acteristics.  vSo,  as  the  time  drew  near,  he  imagined  that 
he  noticed  more  and  more  marked  symptoms  of  a  coming 
event ;  and  that  this  event  was  to  be  of  unusual  magni 
tude  was  also  plain  by  the  influence  it  had  upon  her 
whole  manner.  She  seemed  restless  and  preoccupied, 
and  had  dressed  hirself  and  sat  in  the  parlor  the  last  two 
or  three  evenings,  as  if  in  anticipation  of  some  coming 
pleasure.  Poor  Sis  !  In  the  absence  of  the  talse  trout 
she  had  always  denied  wearing,  she  had  no  end  of  trouble 
trying  to  coax  her  own  crown  of  beauty  into  bewitching 
ways;  but  since  she  devoted  much  of  her  time,  she  was 
beginning  to  be  rewarded  for  her  efforts. 

When  Tommy  came  into  the  parlor  she  had  just  been 
reading  her  letter;  not  but  what  she  had  read  it  before — 
oh,  yes,  she  knew  every  word  of  it  by  heart, — but  it 
proved  so  reassuring  to  read  it  over.  She  hurriedly 
thrust  it  into  her  bosom,  but  not  before  the  quick  eye  ot 


308  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

the  boy  had  caught  its  familiar  outlines.  He  sighed  in 
wardly  when  he  thought  of  the  aching  arms  and  anxiety 
that  it  had  cost  him  ;  but  to  him  the  look  of  satisfaction 
on  the  face  of  his  sister  was  a  just  recompense  of  reward. 
"  If  I  can  make  Sis  look  that  pleased,  mebby  I  will  write 
her  some  more." 

He  restrained  his  exhiliarated  spirits  as  best  he  could, 
when  she  arose,  yawning,  and  saying  that  she  was  sleepy, 
left  the  room.  "  She  thinks  that  she  had  better  go  to  bed 
early  tonight,  if  she  is  to  be  up  late  tomorrow  night. 
You  had  better  go,  Sissy  dear ;  the  Colonel  might  have  a 
great  deal  to  say  to  you,  and  it  would  never  do  to  get 
sleepy  before  he  gets  his  say  out.  I  wish  you  one  more 
night  of  happy  dreams  before  he  gets  here."  At  this  he 
could  control  his  spirits  no  longer.  So  he  rushed  out 
into  the  stable,  where  he  gave  way  to  such  shouts  of 
laughter  that  Sooky  and  Billy  would  have  broken  their 
halters  had  they  not  often  been  witnesses  of  just  such 
scenes.  But  nevertheless  they  looked  on  in  mild-eyed 
wonder.  It  had  the  power  to  draw  their  philosophic 
minds  for  a  brief  period  from  their  suppers,  which  they 
had  not  yet  mastered.  He  jumped,  threw  his  hat  into 
the  air,  and  stood  on  his  head,  makii%  polite  bows  with 
his  feet  in  imitation  of  the  Colonel,  until  he  was  tired 
out,  and  then  concluded  that  it  was  time  for  boys  to  go 
to  bed,  even  if  they  were  not  girls  and  were  going  to 
have  a  beau. 

Meanwhile  the  deluded  -Sarah  had  gone  to  her  room 
and  again  drawn  forth  her  letter.  The  satisfaction  to  be 
derived  from  this  message  was  inexhaustible,  and  Tommy 
had  come  in  before  she  had  had  time  to  enjoy  it  fully. 
So  she  began  at  the  beginning  and  read  it  all  over  care 
fully,  stopping  here  and  there  to  dwell  upon  something 
which  seemed  particularly  to  strike  a  tender  chord.  It 
was  dated  the  first  of  the  week  and  read  as  follows : 


TOMMY'S  PLANS.  309 

Miss  CTRKKX  : 

Most  highly  estimable  Madam  :  I  hope  you  will  not  think  me 
presumptuous  for  addressing  you  thus,  l>ut  I  have  been  wishing 
to  express  my  regrets  ever  since  I  was  so  rudely  called  from  vour 
side,  when  you  were  seated  on  the  stump  in  the  grove.  I  hope 
you  will  not  think  me  presumptuous,  but  what  begins  in  jest 
sometimes  ends  in  earnest,  and  I  may  yet  have  the  opportunity 
to  show  you  the  respect  due  such  an  estimable  lady.  All  things 
come  to  them  as  wait.  I  will  call  on  you  next  Sunday  night. 
Look  for  me.  Kver  sincerely  vours, 

COLONEL  WILKIXS. 

Some  of  the  words  were  gotten  out  of  scraps  of  letters 
which  the  two  boys  succeeded  in  finding;  some  of  them 
were  taken  out  of  the  speller  and  their  meaning  deciph 
ered  through  the  aid  of  the  dictionary ;  and  had  his  sister 
known  how  often  this  missive  had  forced  Tommy  upon 
the  anxious  seat,  and  that  he  had  labored  upon  it  till 
great  beads  of  sweat  rolled  down  his  hands  and  face  in 
order  to  bring  it  to  this  state  of  perfection,  she  might 
have  partially  forgiven  him. 

"It  was  all  right,"  she  thought,  "that  I  did  not  answer 
him.  Pie  is  so  decisive  in  his  speech  that  it  did  not  call 
for  an  answer.  It  is  certainly  characteristic  of  a  gentle 
man  in  earnest." 

She  folded  the  letter  and  dropped  it  into  a  convenient 
drawer  (she  knew  that  she  would  want  to  read  it  over  a 
few  times  the  next  day,  it  would  help  her  to  hide  her 
restlessness  from  the  rest  of  the  family),  and  went  to  bed 
to  concoct  various  plans  tor  trousseau,  wedding  break 
fasts  and  honeymoons.  She  was  so  absorbed  in  these 
soul-inspiring  anticipations,  that  the  drowsy  god,  in  order 
to  get  in  his  work,  had  to  call  a  halt  long  before  they 
were  exhausted  ;  but  in  dreamland  the  same  array  of  pic 
tures  spread  out  on  the  canvas  of  her  mind:  white  gowns, 
bridal  veils,  oceans  of  white  blossoms  and  ecstasv  tin- 


310  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

speakable.  But  when  she  awoke  to  reality  and  the 
world,  those  coveted  luxuries  were  still  things  of  the 
impenetrable  future;  but  things  that  were  dreamed  on 
Saturday  night  have  come  true  sometimes,  and  hers 
seemed  real  enough  for  anything. 

That  day  at  church  she  took  great  comfort  during  the 
morning  services  in  thinking  howT  envious  the  sisterhood 
would  feel  when  she  walked  into  church  that  evening 
with  the  acknowledged  prize  of  the  town  and  community. 
She  felt  that  her  victory  would  partially  compensate  for 
some  sneers  and  insinuations  that  she  had  borne  since 
that  day  in  the  woods.  Yes,  she  would  bring  him  to 
church. 

She  was  so  deep  in  her  meditations  on  her  way  home, 
that  she  did  not  see  poor  Mossy  who  was  trying  his  ut 
most  to  bring  himself  and  his  smart  appearance  into 
prominence  by  passing  through  the  crowd  and  turning 
the  corner  just  before  her  eyes. 

Tommy  watched  her  keenly.  His  plans  had  been  laid 
a  good  while  and  had  caused  him  much  worry  and  some 
hard  work,  so  he  was  determined  to  get  all  the  fun  pos 
sible  out  of  the  result. 

She  went  to  the  rose-bush  to  see  if  the  bunch  of  roses 
and  buds,  which  she  had  selected  a  day  or  two  before  to 
wear  on  her  bosom,  were  still  there.  She  arranged  and 
re-arranged  her  toilette,  and  long  before  four  o'clock,  the 
hour  of  his  own  appointment,  her  appearance  had  arrived 
at  a  point  of  satisfaction,  and  she  was  sitting  in  the  front 
parlor,  going  now  and  then  to  the  front  window  or  taking 
short  walks  in  the  garden  and  back. 

Tommy  pretended  not  to  see,  but  instead  whistled 
"  We  won't  go  home  until  morning,"  or  teased  the  kitty 
(he  had  taken  care  that  this  one  should  escape  the  fur 
rier's  chest)  and  acted  in  general  as  boys  do  who  have 


TOMMY'S  PLANS.  311 

nothing  on  their  minds,  until  she  started  toward  the  front 
gate,  saying  that  it  was  too  warm  to  sit  in  the  house. 

He  knew  that  his  risibilities  had  arrived  at  the  explod 
ing  point,  so  he  put  on  his  hat  and  betook  himself  to 
Mossy's.  He  found  that  worthy  in  a  high  state  of  ex 
citement  and  expectation.  He  would  like  to  have  put 
on  the  new  suit  and  gone  about,  striking  blows  right  and 
left  to  the  heart  of  every  girl  in  town  ;  but  since  that 
pleasure  had  been  forbidden  him,  he  had  to  content  him 
self  waiting  for  Tommy  and  his  chum  and  thinking  of 
the  evening. 

The  boy  told  him  that  he  could  not  start  before  dusk; 
that  none  of  the  swells  went  before  then  and  that  they 
had  all  better  take  a  walk  before  he  dressed,  because  it 
\vas  warm  and  those  newspapers  would  not  feel  comfort 
able  if  he  wore  them  too  long. 

His  mother  smiled  complacently  when  she  saw  that 
Tommy  \vas  again  with  Moses,  thinking  —  well,  who 
know^s  wrhat  she  was  thinking?  It  is  enough  to  know 
that  there  was  satisfaction  in  the  thought. 

It  was  sundown  when  they  returned  and  it  was  all  the 
combined  efforts  of  the  three  could  master  to  have  Moses 
in  readiness  by  dark.  The  newspapers  and  the  cane 
helped  him  out  about  right,  they  thought,  when  he  started 
away.  They  had  never  seen  the  Colonel  with  a  cane,  but 
they  thought  that  he  would  surely  -carry  one  if  he  was 
going  to  see  his  girl,  so  the}"  bought  one  for  his  imita 
tion  to  earn-. 

Moses'  story  papers  helped  to  fill  out  his  clothes,  but 
they  had  been  resorted  to  too  liberally  to  add  to  the  grace 
fulness  of  his  movements  or  gait,  which  was  stiff  and 
unnatural.  He  felt  anything  but  comfortable,  but  he 
tried  to  make  up  in  bravado  what  he  may  otherwise  have 
lacked.  So  he  walked  along  swinging  his  cane,  the  paper 
rattling  as  he  went. 


312  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

The  rest  of  the  Green  household  had  all  started  to 
church  with  the  exception  of  the  expectant  one,  who  was 
standing  in  the  hall  door  as  he  came  up.  She  knew  that 
it  was  the  Colonel  as  soon  as  she  saw  the  outlines  of  his 
figure.  His  walk  was  not  just  natural,  but  he  might 
have  corns,  and  she  thought  of  various  salves  and  reme 
dies  that  she  would  apply  when  the  proper  time  came. 

When  he  reached  the  door  she  stepped  back  and  led 
the  way,  without  saying  a  word.  She  was  thinking  that 
silence  is  more  eloquent  than  words ;  but  she  was  begin 
ning  to  think  it  a  little  strange  that  he  had  said  nothing. 

When  the}'  reached  the  lighted  parlor  she  turned  to 
ward  him,  saying  sweetly,  "  I  am  indeed  glad  to  see  you. 
Let  me  lay  up  your  hat,  and  be  seated." 

Moses,  with  all  the  ease  that  he  could  possibly  assume 
owing  to  the  stiffness  of  the  paper,  which  was  rattling  in 
a  tell-tale  way,  had  raised  his  hat  from  his  head  and  was 
holding  it  out  to  her,  with  one  of  his  broadest  and  most 
winning  grins,  when  she  stopped  before  him  and  looked 
at  him  with  eyes  in  which  was  blended  such  an  unuttera 
ble  degree  of  amazement,  anger,  and  contempt,  that  one 
could  scarcely  imagine  that  the  soft,  cooing  words  of  just 
a  moment  before  had  come  from  the  same  source.  It 
was  the  Colonel's  figure  and  wearing  apparel.  Yes,  and 
a  mustache  exactly  like  he  wore — but  she  could  not  mis 
take  the  light  blue  eyes,  the  grin,  and  the  cabbage-leaf 
hand  that  was  holding  out  his  hat.  She  would  know 
them  anywhere. 

Her  look  turned  to  one  of  loathing.  Poor  Moses  !  he 
never  had  had  much  experience  in  the  courting  line,  so 
he  did  not  quite  know  what  this  treatment  implied,  but 
he  began  to  wish  that  she  would  show  it  in  some  other 
way  if  she  was  glad  to  see  him. 

He  had  gotten  along  fairly  well  in  that  little  marriage 


TOMMY'S  PLANS.  313 

ceremony,  so  he  hung'  his  hat  on  a  chair  back,  dropped 
on  one  knee,  and  was  about  to  take  her  hand,  when  she 
darted  to  the  furthest  corner.  She  did  not  study  her 
pose  now.  Her  eyes  flashed  fire.  Her  curls,  which 
seemed  to  arise  to  the  occasion,  were  standing-  straight 
out.  Altogether  she  presented  the  picture  of  a  fury  in 
carnate. 

Just  then  two  war  whoops  sounded  from  the  hall,  and 
Tommy  and  his  friend  rushed  in.  One  grabbed  his  hat: 
the  other  got  him  by  the  tail  of  his  coat,  pulling  with  all 
his  might,  and  hollowing  with  all  his  lungs  : 

"  Come  quick,  or  she'll  annihilate  you  I  " 

Now,  Moses  had  no  sort  of  a  notion  what  "annihila 
tion  "  meant,  but  that  look  iu  her  eyes  could  no  longer 
be  doubted,  and  he  wisely  concluded  that  it  could  not  be 
making  love ;  so  he  took  to  his  heeis  and  made  a  hasty 
exit,  in  spite  of  the  paper,  which  had  by  this  time  col 
lected  in  wads  about  his  body.  Poor  Mossy  !  The  world 
of  love  was  still  an  unsolved  mystery  to  him. 

The  boys  urged  him  to  go  home  at  once  and  put  on  his 
own  clothes.  He  went,  but  instead  of  doing  as  he  had 
promised,  he  only  removed  the  rolls  of  paper  and  started 
out  anew.  The  new  suit  had  failed  to  impress  the  one 
favorably,  but  that  was  no  reason  why  he  should  not  try 
its  powers  on  the  other  girls. 

After  giving  the  subject  some  thought,  Tommy  sagely 
determined  that  it  would  be  best  to  sleep  with  his  friend 
that  night.  The  boys  lay  awake  nearly  all  night  laugh 
ing  and  talking  about  the  trick  that  they  had  so  success 
fully  carried  out,  so  it  was  late  when  they  awoke.  With 
the  morning  came  the  reaction  so  well  known  to  all  fitful 
spirits.  Although  they  tried  to  laugh  it  off,  they  had  a 
dull  feeling  in  the  region  of  their  hearts  or  stomachs  or 
somewhere.  They  could  not  exactly  give  its  physiolog- 
20 


314  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

ical  location,  but  it  did  not  add  to  their  comfort  of  mind, 
and  they  could  not  get  rid  of  it. 

The  most  prominent  feature  of  the  distressing  feeling 
was  that  it  made  them  think  that  the  end  of  things  had 
not  yet  come.  So  it  was  without  any  heart  in  the  matter, 
but  with  rather  anxious  minds,  that  they  went  to  Mossy's 
house  to  get  the  suit  to  take  to  the  second-hand  man. 
Their  fears  had  no  real  form  until  Mossy's  proud  mother 
told  them  that  that  young  man  had  gone  on  a  visit  to  his 
cousins.  He  had  been  wanting  to  go  for  some  time,  but 
he  had  got  that  particular  about  himself  that  he  would 
not  go  before  he  had  a  new  suit ;  and  he  had  one  now, 
although  he  had  not  let  her  see  it  until  this  morning.  He 
always  was  a  prime  judge  of  clothes,  and  the  ones  he  had 
made  him  look  real  genteel. 

The  boys  waited  to  hear  no  more,  but  rushed  up  to 
Moses'  room,  only  to  find  their  worst  fears  realized.  The 
clothes  had  gone  with  Moses,  to  be  gone  a  week  or  ten 
days. 

"  Moses  started  early.  He  wanted  to  walk  five  miles 
of  the  way,  to  save  expenses.  The  boy  always  was  good 
at  saving  a  penny,  so  he  went  before  it  got  so  warm." 
said  the  woman. 

But  the  boys  waited  to  hear  no  more,  but  went  out  with 
hearts  that  hung  way  down  below  zero  for  heaviness  and 
an  icy  sensation.  Their  troubles  increased  as  the  day 
wore  on.  They  could  tell  that  the  boys  were  expecting 
a  rousing  good  time  that  evening,  and  were  actually 
starving  their  little  stomachs  to  make  room  for  the  enor 
mous  treat.  But  where  was  it  to  come  from  ?  was  the 
question  in  two  worried  little  minds.  A  part  of  the 
money  that  they  were  to  get  from  the  second-hand  man 
was  to  go  for  the  expected  festivities.  But  alas !  And 
Moses  had  promised  to  pop  the  corn.  Again  alas !  They 


TOMMY'S  PLANS.  315 

each  had  a  little  private  stock  of  corn,  but  where  would 
they  pop  enough  for  the  whole  crowd?  And  where  was 
the  taffy  to  come  from,  and  the  money  for  the  plentiful 
supply  of  fire-crackers  that  had  been  promised  to  the 
crowd?  But  the  boys  determined  upon  making  as  brave 
a  show  as  possible  ;  so  they  sneaked  a  popper  from  the 
house  and  built  a  fire  behind  the  stable,  and  went  dili 
gently  to  work.  But  the  fire  would  spread,  and  it  was  all 
that  they  could  do  to  keep  it  from  reaching  the  buildings; 
and  the  corn  smelled  suspiciously  of  a  too  close  contact 
with  the  flames.  But  when  the}-  at  last  had  finished,  they 
had  enough  to  satisfy  any  reasonable  set  of  boys.  But 
where  did  reason  ever  enter,  when  there  was  pop-corn  on 
the  bill  of  fare  ? 

The  few  pennies  that  they  could  scrape  together  went 
for  a  bunch  of  common  fire-crackers  and  an  empty  tar 
barrel.  This,  with  a  couple  of  boxes  which  they  man 
aged  to  purloin  from  the  stable,  made  such  a  blaze  as 
should  have  filled  the  heart  of  any  boy  not  too  hard  to 
suit  with  pride.  But  boys  are  sometimes  hard  to  please 
when  a  bonfire  is  in  question,  and  the  two  who  had  prom 
ised  them  such  a  good  time  in  return  for  their  hard  work, 
could  soon  tell  that  the  whole  crowd  was  ready  to  read 
the  riot  act  to  them,  and  that  on  short  notice,  too.  JSo, 
after  they  had  told  them  that  they  were  sorry  that  they 
could  not  treat  them  to  taffy,  and  that  they  would  try  to 
give  them  their  quarters  later  on,  they  sought  safety  in 
retreat.  They  would  not  risk  the  stable  mow,  or  any 
oilier  doubtful  place,  but  went  straight  to  the  house  ol 
Tommy's  friend  and  locked  the  doors  against  any  possible 
intruders. 

But  the  crowd  was  not  always  to  be  eluded  in  that  way, 
and  the  next  evening  about  nine  o'clock  two  sorry  little 
figures  went  slvlv  back  and  forth  between  the  stable  and 


316  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

pump,  with  a  bucket  and  pan.  It  was  plain  to  be  seen 
that  they  had  suffered  the  full  penalty  of  the  law.  They 
had  first  been  ducked  in  the  river,  and  afterward  treated 
to  a  volley  of  eggs  —  and  some  enterprising  biddy's  ma 
ternal  nest  of  half-hatched  eggs  had  been  the  sacrifice. 

Words  would  be  inadequate  to  express  the  rage  and 
anger  of  the  victim  of  their  long-planned,  successfully  ex 
ecuted  practical  joke.  She  vowed  vengeance  on  Tommy; 
she  vowed  vengeance  on  boys  in  general;  she  vowed 
vengeance  on  men  and  boys,  and  had  she  herself  not 
been  a  plotter  and  schemer  of  the  deepest  dye,  she  would 
indeed  have  been  an  object  of  pity. 

The  next  day  a  letter  that  she  received  from  Colonel 
Wilkins  proved  to  her  that  the  joke  had  extended  even 
further.  The  letter  read  as  follows  : 

Miss  GREEN  : 

I  very  much  regret  the  necessity  of  writing  to  you  iu  this 
manner,  but  under  embarrassment  I  always  find  a  thoroughly 
honest  and  open  course  the  most  satisfactory.  I  heartily  re 
gretted  being  called  from  your  side  in  a  way  which  must  have 
seemed  rude  to  you,  but  it  could  never  have  meant  anything 
to  me  but  just  the  farce  that  it  was  intended  to  be.  I  had  a 
wife  once,  one  whose  place-  1  could  not  supplant  in  my  life  and 
home,  much  less  in  my  heart  and  affections.  I  hope  that  this 
misunderstanding  will  not  lessen  the  esteem  in  which  I  hope 
we  will  always  hold  each  other. 

Very  respectfully  yours,  EDWARD 


After  her  anger  had  somewhat  subsided,  and  she  had 
thrown  the  letter  into  the  fire,  along  with  some  other 
sheets  of  paper  which  had  "Colonel  Wilkins"  written  in 
the  place  of  honor,  she  sat  down  in  a  thoroughly  dejected 
way.  What  had  been  in  the  letter  that  he  had  received 
to  call  for  such  a  reply  ?  One  thing  was  plain  to  her  : 
that  there  was  no  longer  any  hope  of  gaining  favor  in  his 
eyes,  and  that,  in  spite  of  his  politely  worded  letter,  he 
could  hardly  regard  her  with  ordinary  respect. 


CHAPTER  XXXI. 

TOMMY    TKLLS    WHAT    UK    KNOWS. 

AvS  time  went  on  and  nothing  was  heard  from  Mary 
Grey,  the  Cloverdale  people  had  to  drop  her  from 
their  minds,  lest  they  might,  perchance,  neglect  some 
other  topic  of  interest.  Those  with  whom  such  things 
were  intrusted,  had  all  that  they  could  possibly  do  to  keep 
the  minds  of  the  people  educated  up  to  the  point  of 
properly  receiving  the  different  little  strangers  as  they 
finally  made  their  appearance  among  them;  or  lest  two 
young  people  might  spend  their  time  in  each  other's 
society  before  their  intentions  were  pronounced  serious 
(which  would  make  such  conduct  justifiable),  or  they 
might  even  make  the  fatal  final  step  before  it  had  been 
fully  decided  that  it  would  be  a  proper  match;  or  some 
man  and  wife  might  conclude  to  sever  their  family  rela 
tion  without  them  being  able  to  determine  exactly  which 
one  was  to  blame.  And  having  so  much  on  hand,  as  the 
summer  wore  on,  no  wonder  that  they  had  no  time  to  de 
vote  to  something  which  had  taken  place  in  the  early 
spring. 

Mrs.  Jones  was  as  busy  as  she  could  be  concocting 
various  little  schemes  by  which  her  not  too  youthful  pro 
tege  and  Colonel  \Vilkins  might  be  brought  together;  but 
when  that  lady's  interest  (for  reasons  best  known  to  her 
self)  began  to  lose  its  keenness,  and  she  finally  manifested 
an  open  aversion  to  even  a  hint  upon  the  subject,  the 
woman  could  no  longer  waste  time,  but  took  up  with 
something  of  a  livelier  interest,  at  the  same  time  regard 
ing  Miss  Green  with  vindicative  glances,  which  said, 


318  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

"There  is  something  that  you  have  not  told;  you  have 
not  treated  me  right." 

Mrs.  Dixon  was  no  less  busily  occupied  in  her  own 
way.  She  did  wonders  toward  helping  the  general  cause 
along  with  her  witticisms  and  pithy  remarks,  sayings  of 
which  Miss  Green  was  becoming  more  and  more  the  butt. 

After  her  decided  failure  to  favorably  impress  the  one 
gentleman  upon  whom  she  had  set  her  heart,  she  plunged 
headlong  and  unadvisedly  into  various  little  stratagems 
which  were,  by  common  consent,  pronounced  as  unbecom 
ing.  But  a  feeling  of  desperation  had  seized  her.  She 
felt  that  she  must  do  something  to  vindicate  herself;  but 
the  more  she  struggled  to  extricate  herself,  the  deeper 
she  sank  into  the  quagmire  upon  which  her  own  folly 
had  placed  her  feet;  and  the  look  of  satisfaction  on  the 
face  of  Tommy,  added  to  the  side  glances  and  home 
thrusts  of  the  women,  made  life  to  her  seem  as  anything 
but  a  pleasant  dream. 

But  there  were  three  persons  who  were  not  too  busy  to 
think  of  the  missing  one,  nor  had  they  left  any  means 
known  to  them  untried  to  ascertain  her  whereabouts. 

Fred.  Alton,  after  making  man}'  guarded  inquiries,  went 
abroad  in  the  interest  of  his  firm.  His  friends  pitied  him. 
He  must  be  heart-broken  at  the  death  of  his  wife.  He 
was  such  a  model  husband,  so  devoted  and  kind.  They 
could  not  see  why  some  people  die  when  they  have  all 
that  heart  can  wish,  while  others  must  stay  on  who  seem 
to  have  so  little  to  live  for;  but  such  is  life,  they  thought. 

He  went  abroad  in  the  interests  of  his  firm,  but  he  did 
very  little  business.  He  went  because  there  was  nothing 
to  cause  him  to  do  otherwise.  His  wife  was  dead  and  the 
only  other  one  who  had  any  interest  for  him,  he  had 
driven  from  him,  whither  he  knew  not. 

Sometimes  his  remorse  would  take  one  form,  sometimes 


TOMMY    TELLS    WHAT    II K    KNOWS.  319 

another.  At  times  he  would  reproach  himself  for  infidel 
ity  to  his  wife.  lie  would  feel  that  he  had  not  been 
worth}-  of  her,  and  his  conscience  smote  him.  He  had 
never  changed  in  his  treatment  of  her,  but  he  knew  his 
own  weakness ;  and  the  fact  that  she  had  never  doubted 
him  only  added  to  the  regret,  and  he  would  wish  for  the 
power  to  call  her  back  that  he  m'ight  yet  redeem  his  faith 
in  himself  by  being  all  that  she  thought  him  to  be.  Then 
again  would  come  the  plea  for  himself.  It  was  not  his 
fault  that  he  had  grown  tired  of  her,  for,  after  all,  human 
beings  had  very  little  control  over  their  feelings. 

Might  not  the  same  fate  that  rules  our  affections  and 
causes  them  sometimes  not  only  to  center  upon  an  un 
worthy  object,  but  entirely  against  our  better  judgment, 
also  manifest  its  powers  by  drawing  them  from  a  worthy 
one?  And  then  again,  was  not  the  fact  that  he  wearied 
of  her  proof  in  itself  that  she  fell  short  in  her  powers 
over  him.  He  had  made  a  mistake  when  he  thought 
that  he  recognized  in  her  his  ideal.  Surely  dependence 
and  beauty  had  no  charms  when  compared  with  spirit  and 
self-reliance,  even  though  associated  with  pronounced 
views. 

At  those  times  he  could  see  in  himself  only  an  object 
of  commiseration.  It  was  a  cruel  destiny  that  would 
hold  out  a  coveted  object  until  it  was  within  a  man's  grasp 
and  then  allow  some  evil  power  to  again  place  it  out  of 
reach.  He  felt  that  if  no  meddlesome  tongue  had  come 
between  him  and  Mary  Grey  all  would  have  gone  well, 
and  life  with  her  would  in  some  degree  have  compensated 
for  the  insipid  past. 

But  now  in  spite  of  the  spirit  of  conceit,  which  is  the 
controlling  power  in  most  men's  lives,  especially  in  affairs 
of  the  heart,  he  reali/.ed  how  futile  it  would  be  to  hope, 
much  less  to  attempt,  to  win  her  even  if  lie  should  sue- 


320  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

ceed  in  finding  her.  That  would  only  increase  her  aver 
sion,  and  if  she  did  not  flee  from  him  again,  there  would 
still  be  an  impassable  gulf  between  them. 

Then  again  hope  would  spring  up  and  gain  the  ascend 
ency,  when  his  evil  genius  would  whisper  to  him,  "All 
women  are  alike!  All  will  yet  be  well.  Men  were  given 
such  fallible  natures  to  harmonize  with  their  surroundings, 
and  realizing  that  they  are  not  accountable  for  the  natures 
with  which  they  were  born,  women  are  charitable.  Our 
worth  to  them  does  not  depend  upon  the  practice  of  the 
virtues,  but  rather  upon  their  natures  to  appreciate  and 
admire  what  Providence  has  placed  above  them.  A 
woman,  after  all,  need  only  to  be  sought  out,  and  if  you 
succeed  in  playing  upon  her  vanity  by  a  due  appreciation, 
in  the  face  of  your  own  charms  of  manner  and  personal 
attractions,  she  will  not  bother  her  pretty  head  about 
3'our  being  a  moral  giant,  and  the  fact  that  they  some 
times  hold  themselves  aloof,  is  only  a  farce  to  lure  men 
to  greater  persistence.  Oh,  yes,  women  are  all  alike,  and 
the  fact  that  they  seem  different  does  not  enter  into  the 
question.  You  need  only  to  find  Mrs.  Grey,  and  in  course 
of  time  (and  not  such  a  very  long  time,  either)  she  will 
think  herself  fortunate  to  secure  you,  and  will  look  up  to 
you  with  the  same  blind  confidence  and  trust  that  made 
your  first  wife  happy."  And  the  fact  that  his  first  wife 
was  content  was  another  proof  that  the  Creator  had  not 
made  their  happiness  dependent  upon  men,  but  rather 
upon  the  just  obstinacy  of  woman's  faith  in  them. 

At  such  times  he  would  be  impatient  for  the  time  to 
come  when  he  might  seek  her  out,  and  go  to  her  in  a  way 
in  which  she  could  not  fail  to  listen  to  his  suit.  He  had 
been  a  little  indiscreet  in  practising  deception  upon  her, 
and  rash  in  speaking  to  her  as  he  did  so  soon  after  his 
wife's  death;  but  after  a  reasonable  lapse  of  time  she 


TOMMY    TKLLS    WHAT    IIR    KNOWS.  321 

would  forget  that  it  had  ever  occurred  and  all  would  be 
well. 

The  other  man,  who  had  determined,  in  his  own  quiet 
way  to  discover  if  possible  the  whereabouts  of  the  min 
ister's  widow,  was  thoroughly  unselfish  in  his  motives. 
He  felt  that  she  could  never  be  anything  to  him,  and  that 
if  she  ever  did  marry  again  it  would  be  to  some  younger, 
more  talented  man.  The  fact  that  she  had  gone  to  the 
city  without  thinking  it  worth  while  to  write  him  a 
friendly  letter  explaining  her  conduct,  and  was  now  gone 
so  far  away  without  so  much  as  a  word,  was  proof,  to  his 
somewhat  wounded  feelings,  that  she  did  not  even  need 
his  friendship.  "But,"  he  thought,  "  It  is  hard  for  one 
who  views  the  whole  world  through  the  stainless  window 
of  her  own  pure  soul  to  reali/.e  that  there  might  be 
dangers  before  her,  and  difficulties  for  which  her  own 
strength  would  prove  inadequate.  If  I  can  find  out 
where  she  is,  I  can  manage  that  she  should  never  come 
to  privation  and  want,  even  though  I  should  never  see 
her  again.  Or,  if  she  should  ever  come  back  among  us, 
she  might  let  me  be  as  a  father  or  older  brother  to  her." 
vSo,  thinking  only  of  her  good,  and  with  his  noblest  im 
pulses  aroused,  he  had  no  thought  of  concealment,  but 
went  frankly  to  Mrs.  Ferris  and  talked  the  matter  over 
with  her. 

"You  who  know  me  so  well  can  not  misunderstand  my 
motive.  It  is  not  that  I  might  secure  a  wife,  for  even  it 
I  could  bring  myself  to  think  of  a  second  marriage,  I 
could  not  hope  to  win  her.  But  she  is  a  woman  of  whom 
I  would  not  willingly  lose  sight.  Her  society  is  so  ennob 
ling.  And  then  again,  she  is  so  utterly  alone  in  the  world, 
that  unless  she  has  some  trusty  friend,  life  at  best  will  be 
but  a  struggle  to  her.  I  can  not  bear  to  think  of  her 
having  gone  out  of  our  lives  until  I  am  convinced  that 


322  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

she  has  gone  into  a  life  in  which  her  happiness  is  as 
sured." 

"I  have  no  doubt,"  said  Mrs.  Ferris,  "that  your  motive 
is  a  perfectly  laudable  one,  and  would  be  even  if  your 
object  was  not  so  unselfish.  Believe  me,  I  am  no  less  de 
termined  to  seek  her  out  than  you  are,  and  if  there  is  any 
truth  in  the  old  saying  'where  there's  a  will,  there's  a 
way,'  we  will  certainly  succeed." 

The  woman  had  a  vague,  undefined  suspicion  that  her 
brother  had  in  some  way  influenced  Mrs.  Grey's  actions 
ever  since  his  last  visit  when  he  had  come  to  bid  them 
good-bye.  She  had  been  wondering  about  his  conduct. 
He  had  said  very  little  about  the  loss  of  his  wife,  but 
seemed  more  distressed  at  the  sudden  disappearance  of 
her  nurse.  This  he  had  been  only  partially  able  to  con 
ceal,  and  Mrs.  Ferris,  woman-like,  had  always  felt  in  a 
measure  responsible  for  her  younger  brother's  misdeeds 
(even  from  childhood)  and  now  determined  to  right,  if 
possible,  any  wrong  that  he  might  have  been  guilty  of. 

Time  went  on.  Summer  had  gone  and  autumn  had 
come.  Autumn  had  given  place  to  winter;  and  the 
holidays  were  fast  approaching,  and  still  no  clue  had  been 
found  to  the  whereabouts  of  Mrs.  Grey.  Then  a  sudden 
thought  came  to  Mrs.  Ferris.  Why  had  she  not  thought 
of  it  before?  She  would  go  to  the  bank  and  ascertain  if 
the  deposits  of  Mary  Grey  had  been  drawn,  and,  if  so, 
where  had  it  been  sent?  This  might  throw  a  light  upon 
the  subject.  After  the  thought  had  occurred  to  her,  she 
\vas  not  long  in  carrying  it  out. 

"Yes,"  the  banker  told  her,  "  Mary  Grey's  money  had 
been  drawn."  On  examining  his  books  he  found  that  it 
had  been  drawn  upon  at  different  times,  and  that  the  last 
cheque  had  been  sent  in  six  weeks  before,  and  that  the 
cheques  had  been  sent  by  mail,  and  that  the  money  had 


TOMMY    TELLS    WHAT    HE    KNOWS.  323 

been  sent  to  her  address  in  New  York  in  registered  letters. 
The  address-  sent,  he  assured  her,  must  have  been  of  some 
obscure  part  of  the  city  among  the  great  struggling  mass 
of  humanity.  "  She  may  be  engaged  in  works  of  charity 
there,"  he  said. 

This  was  somewhat  reassuring,  but  the  lady  had  her 
doubts.  "  She  is  more  apt  to  be  struggling  for  her  own 
bread,"  she  thought. 

Something  occurred  on  her  return  to  her  home  which 
did  much  to  add  to  her  determination.  She  had  a  call 
from  Tom  my  Green,  who  began  : 

"  Say,  Mrs.  Ferris,  can  people  be  tried  and  put  to  jail 
for  lying?  " 

"I  can  not  say,"  was  her  answer;  "I  suppose  that 
would  depend  on  what  the  lie  was.  But  I  assure  you 
they  ought  to  be." 

"  Yes,  I  know  it  would  serve  people  right,  but  can  they 
do  it  when  it's  a  lie  about  people's  character,  that  makes 
them  want  to  go  away  where  nobody  knows  them  ? " 

"  Xo,  I  am  sorry  to  say  that  people  are  seldom  pun 
ished  for  anything  of  that  kind." 

"  I  am  glad,"  said  Tommy,  "  because  T  want  to  tell  you 
something  that  Sis  has  been  doing,  but  I  don't  want  her 
to  go  to  jail  for.it.  I  would  not  tell  it  on  her  at  all  if  she 
was  to  be  punished,  because  sometimes  I  think  it's  peo 
ple's  fault  that  she  is  cross  and  ugly,  because  they  are  not 
very  nice  to  her." 

Mrs.  Ferris  would  have  told  the  boy  that  she  would 
rather  not.  hear  anything  that  had  better  IK-  concealed, 
but,  thinking  that  it  might  have  some  bearing  upon  her 
friend,  she  allowed  him  to  go  on — something  lie  was  not 
slow  in  doing. 

"  I  heard  Sis  say,"  he  went  on,  "  that  she  had  trumped 
up  a  story  to  get  rid  of  Mrs.  Grey,  and  that  she  had  gone 


324  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

to  the  city  in  the  spring  to  get  a  chance  to  tell  her ;  that 
she  met  her  on  the  street  and  went  with  her  to  her  room, 
and  then  told  her  that  everybody  in  Cloverdale  was  talk 
ing  about  her  and  saying  that  Mr.  Alton  was  supporting 
her  without  his  wife's  knowledge  or  consent,  and  that 
people  here  had  hired  another  music  teacher  after  they 
had  found  her  out.  Sis  said  that  Mrs.  Grey  did  not  say 
anything,  but  just  looked  scared  like,  but  she  guessed 
that  Cloverdale  would  never  have  the  pleasure  of  her 
society  again.  I  just  \vanted  to  tell  you,  so  you  would 
know  that  she  was  all  straight  and  right,  even  if  she  did 
not  come  back  here." 

Mrs.  Ferris  had  to  make  a  solemn  promise  that  no 
action  should  be  taken  against  his  sister,  and  also  that 
she  would  not  betray  him.  In  spite  of  his  having  said 
that  it  was  a  trumped  up  story,  she  had  her  own  views 
upon  the  matter  and  acted  accordingly. 

"  I  will  see  if  I  can  not  succeed  in  bringing  her  back 
without  the  assistance  of  any  man,"  she  thought.  "  Xot 
but  what  Colonel  Wilkins  is  a  perfectly  honorable  man, 
but  I  will  show  him  that  Mrs.  Grey  can  get  along  with 
out  even  him.  I  know  him  better  than  he  does  himself, 
and  if  she  does  come  back,  or  if  he  finds  her,  it  will  only 
be  a  question  of  time  before  he  wants  to  marry  her;  not 
but  what  that  would  be  the  best  think  that  could  happen, 
but  he  shall  never  have  that  to  add  to  the  good  opinion 
of  himself:  that  she  needs  him  as  a  protector.  If  he  gets 
her,  it  shall  be  by  owning  that  he  is  very  much  in  need 
of  her." 

The  chances  were  that  she  had  changed  since  she  sent 
the  last  cheque,  but  she  would  send  her  a  letter  there.  It 
could  but  fail.  So  before  she  retired  for  the  night  the 
letter  was  written.  She  asked  her  why  she  had  hidden 
herself  away,  and  told  her  that  both  Colonel  Wilkins  and 


TOMMY    TELLS    WHAT    HE    KNOWS.  325 

herself  had  been  untiring  in  their  efforts  to  discover  her 
place  of  concealment,  and  that  she  had  only  that  day 
learned  her  address  through  the  banker;  that  the  Wilkins 
boys  nor  any  of  the  others  had  taken  a  lesson  since  she 
left.  "  The  time  has  been  unusually  long  to  us.  We 
missed  my  brother  and  his  wife  so  much.  He  has  gone 
abroad  since  her  death,  and  from  his  letters  it  is  a  ques 
tion  if  he  will  ever  return.  What  are  you  doing?  Come 
and  make  us  a  visit,  if  possible,  if  only  for  a  few  weeks ; 
or,  better  still,  come  home  to  stay.  We  need  you,  and 
vou  know  '  charitv  begins  at  home.' ' 


CHAPTER  XXXII. 

THE    TRIP. 

MARY  GREY  had  said,  "  I  would  rather  go  with  you 
in  the  capacity  of  a  waiting-maid  than  to  try  to  do 
something  else  in  a  strange  city,"  and  the  smile  on  the 
face  of  Mrs.  Enod,  who  had  succeeded  for  the  time  in 
laying  aside  her  air  of  patronage,  had  deluded  her  into 
the  belief  that  she  had  decided  upon  the  better  way. 
Brought  up,  as  she  was,  to  believe  that  a  due  respect  from 
all  whom  we  come  in  contact  is  every  honorable  person's 
birthright,  she  was  wholly  unprepared  for  the  cold  sur 
veillance  and  looks  of  open  doubt  with  which  she  was 
constantly  regarded. 

She  was  soon  made  aware  that  appearance  counted  for 
nought ;  that  she  was  not  to  be  taken  on  trust,  even  in 
the  slightest  degree,  but  would  be  required  to  prove 
herself  every  hour  and  every  moment.  She  had  said, 
"  I  am  willing  to  learn,"  but  this  proved  no  easy  task. 
It  required  a  continual  change  to  satisfy  the  fastidious 
lady.  What  would  please  her  one  day  would  prove  very 
irritating  on  the  next,  and  she  would  be  one  of  the  most 
unreasonable  of  beings.  Thus  her  duties  proved  a  con 
stant  lesson. 

Mrs.  Enod  was  a  widow.  She  had  two  children — 
Georgie,  aged  eight,  and  Helen,  aged  ten.  In  New 
York  the}"  had  been  joined  by  the  lady's  brother-in-law, 
and  this  made  up  the  party. 

The  older  brother  of  her  dead  husband  was  a  practicing 
physician  of  some  ability,  and  since  he  had  no  other  wife, 
as  he  expressed  it,  he  was  so  thoroughly  wedded  to  his 
profession  as  to  forget  himself  entirely  in  his  labors  of 

(326) 


TIII-;  TRIP.  -27 

love.  This  began  to  tell  upon  his  rugged  constitution  in 
such  a  way  as  to  require  a  complete  rest,  and  he  had  pre 
scribed  for  himself  a  change  of  air  and  scenes  as  well. 
And  since  he  had  not  seen  his  brother's  children  since 
the  death  of  their  father,  which  had  occurred  four  years 
before,  he  had  written  to  their  mother  to  bring  them  and 
go  with  him  on  his  flying  trip,  and  help  him  to  enjoy  his 
vacation. 

He  had  never  had  more  than  a  tolerance  for  his  broth 
er's  wife,  but  had  determined  to  make  the  best  of  it  for 
the  children's  sake.  She  was  devoid  of  the  principles 
which,  in  his  eyes,  were  necessary  to  make  up  a  worthy 
type  of  womanhood — that  of  a  spirit  of  humanity  toward 
all  of  God's  creatures. 

"  We  have  no  right  to  criticise  the  Creator's  work  In- 
treating  with  scorn  anything  that  He  has  made,"  he  would 
say,  and  this  he  preached  more  by  his  actions  than  by 
words,  for  he  carried  the  practice  of  his  words  into  his 
daily  life. 

Xo  wonder  that  a  nature  like  his  was  repulsed  by  the 
bearing  of  such  a  woman.  His  brother,  a  lawyer  of 
promise,  had  wooed  and  won  her  from  among  the  trades 
people;  and  although  her  father,  at  the  time  of  her  mar 
riage,  was  at  the  head  of  an  enterprising  firm,  there  was 
a  time  when  his  business  had  not  been  so  profitable,  and 
the  strictest  economy  had  been  necessary;  and  it  was 
only  by  the  self-denial  of  her  parents  that  the  things 
which  they  thought  her  rights  were  sometimes  procured. 

"And  it  is  to  cringing,  driving  close  bargains  and  mis 
representations  that  much  of  the  merchant's  success  is 
due,"  thought  the  young  man. 

It  is  strange  that  the  forces  which  are  brought  to  bear 
upon  human  lives  should  influence  so  contrariwise.  The 
very  influences  and  surroundings  which  should  imbue 


328  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

them  with  a  moderate  degree  of  meekness  and  depend 
ence,  makes  them  narrow  and  ostentatious,  and  robs  them 
of  the  only  true  distinction  of  the  better  class — a  noble 
ness  of  mind  that  has  no  space  for  that  which  is  small. 
No  wonder  that  some  resort  to  means  by  which  to  impress 
their  superiority  that  would  put  a  well-bred  serving  maid 
to  shame. 

"The  fact  that  her  father  together  with  my  brother 
have  left  Anna  a  competency,  does  give  her  the  power, 
and  a  perfect  right  to  conduct  herself  as  she  pleases,  but 
it  does  not  give  her  the  right  to  treat  any  one  more  de 
pendent  than  she  with  arrogance  and  unkindness."  He 
felt  that  many  of  them  were  such  as  nature  had  placed 
above  her,  inasmuch  as  they  were  above  the  bickering 
that  was  the  means  of  earning  much  of  the  money  that 
she  was  in  possession  of. 

When  the  philosophic  doctor  first  saw  Mary  Grey,  he 
made  the  very  natural  mistake  (owing  to  the  look  of  good 
breeding  and  intelligence  in  her  face)  of  thinking  that 
she  was  a  friend  of  his  sister-in-law's,  and  took  her  to 
task  at  the  very  first  opportunity.  "Anna,  I  did  not 
know  that  you  were  intending  to  bring  a  friend  along. 
It  is  all  right,  the  more  the  merrier,  but  why  in  common 
politeness  do  you  not  introduce  me,  or  do  you  think  that 
an  old  fellow  like  me  is  not  worth  bothering  a  lady  with?" 

"A  friend!  A  lady!  I  do  not  understand.  I  certainly 
have  no  such  person  with  me!" 

"  Who  is  that  who  helped  to  lead  the  children  on  deck? 
She  is  certainly  one  of  your  party." 

"That  person  goes  along,  but  assuredly  not  as  one  of 
the  part}'.  She  is  my  waiting  maid.  I  am  astonished  at 
your  blindness,  but  I  believe  you  are  noted  for  that  qual 
ity." 

"  She  certainly  has  a  face  that  is  all   that  intelligence 


THE    TRIP. 


329 


and  refinement  could  make  it,  and  a  form  that  would 
throw  a  sculptor  into  raptures;  and  I  take  the  fact  that 
I  noticed  all  this  at  one  glance  si  proof  of  my  clear 
sightedness." 

"Intelligence]  refinement!"  sniffed  the  woman  in 
derision.  "I  think  the  man  who  can  not  distinguish  be 
tween  a  lady's  maid  and  a  lady  had  better  go  to  an  oculist 
for  treatment.  I  would  think  that  you  could  tell  by  her 
dress  if  in  no  other  way." 

"  Xo  necessity  whatever  for  an  occulist.  My  eyes  were 
never  better  in  my  life,  but  I  can  see  no  fault  in  her 
dress.  She  is  neat  and  her  garments  set  off  her  form  ad 
mirably." 

"  Well,  I  will  introduce  yon,  and  she  will  more  than 
likely  introduce  you  to  the  rest  of  the  servants  who  may 
have  taken  passage  with  their  mistresses." 

''You  can  do  as  you  please  about  it,  but  if  you  do  not, 
I  shall  certainly  make  myself  acquainted." 

But  this  was  easier  said  than  done,  for  the  little  wait 
ing-maid  kept  herself  aloof,  never  going  to  her  mistress 
unless  she  was  sent  for,  and  this  was  never  unless  the 
man  was  at  a  safe  distance.  For  Mrs.  Knod,  in  spite  of 
her  own  nature,  could  not  fail  to  see  the  noble  qualities 
of  her  brother-in-law,  and  had  fallen  madly  in  love  with 
him  through  his  letters  and  her  recollection  of  him  ;  and, 
as  is  the  case  with  an  ignoble  spirit,  she  recognized  in 
every  pretty  face  a  possible  rival.  .She  had  hesitated  in 
employing  Mrs.  Grey,  and  even  now  she  would  have 
given  anything  to  be  rid  of  her.  "  Let  her  be  what  she- 
will  or  may,"  she  thought,  "  I  will  make  her  leel  her  sub 
ordinate  position  in  such  a  way  as  to  crush  out  all  her 
false  pride  and  self-respect.  To  make  a  good  servant  of 
her,  that  is  necessary." 

So  with  this  determination  she  sought  her.     She  found 

2  I 


330  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

her  in  the  cabin  with  the  children,  who  seemed  to  be 
drawn  to  her  instinctively.  She  was  amusing  them  by 
showing  them  a  picture  book  and  reading  the  rhymes 
and  jingles  at  the  bottom,  and  looked  like  anything  but 
a  person  who  would  care  to  intrude  herself  upon  another 
or  try  to  usurp  their  rights.  But  the  woman,  determined 
upon  preventing  any  danger,  began  : 

"  Mrs.  Grey,  your  name  is  Mary,  I  believe.  Well, 
Mary,  I  will  have  to  ask  you  never  on  any  pretense  to 
come  to  me  unless  I  first  send  for  you.  Your  duties  will 
be  mostly  with  the  children  ;  not  that  I  object  to  your 
society  so  much,  but  my  brother-in-law  is  very  exacting 
about  the  fitness  of  things.  If  you  understand  me,  I  need 
make  no  further  explanation." 

"  I  understand  you,"  was  all  the  answer  that  she  re 
ceived. 

"  Well,  then,  take  good  care  of  the  children,  and  come 
to  me  only  when  I  need  you.  There,  that's  a  good  girl," 
and  she  gave  her  a  haughty  smile  of  approval. 

The  tone  and  manner  of  the  woman  brought  the  hot 
blood  to  the  cheeks  of  Mary  Grey.  Not  that  it  necessi 
tated  a  change  of  manner ;  she  had  sought  the  position 
of  a  menial,  and  expected  to  abide  by  its  consequences, 
but  why  need  she  be  addressed  in  such  language  ?  She 
had  not  heard  her  first  name  since  the  death  of  her  hus 
band,  and  it  jarred  painfully  upon  her  ears.  "  If  I  am 
employed  to  wait  upon  her,  does  that  deprive  me  of  the 
right  to  be  treated  like  a  responsible  being  ?  I  may,  after 
all,  have  made  a  mistake  in  myself  in  thinking  that  I 
could  live  in  such  an  atmosphere  ;  but  what  else  could  I 
have  done?  There  was  no  alternative.  Robert  would 
have  me  be  brave,  and  even  in  this  lowly  position  I  can 
prove  myself  worthy  of  his  faith  in  me." 

And  so,  resolving  to  bear  her  trials  with  Christian  forti- 


THE    TRIP. 


331 


tude,  she  tried  her  utmost  to  win  the  good  will  of  her 
mistress.  But  Mrs.  Enod  seemed  equally  determined  not 
to  be  pleased,  thinking  it  would  never  do  for  him  to  see 
much  of  her  with  that  look  of  peaceful  resignation  on 
her  face.  So  she  found  fault  with  her,  or  made  her  vari 
ous  condescending  little  speeches,  which  were  harder  to 
bear  than  reproach. 

Dr.  Knod  did  not  again  see  the  woman  to  whom  he 
had  threatened  to  introduce  himself  that  day,  nor  had 
any  more  mention  been  made  of  her  until  toward  the 
close  of  the  second  day.  Whenever  he  had  wanted  the 
children  they  had  been  brought  to  him  by  their  mother ; 
but  toward  evening  they  had  come  to  the  parlor  of  their 
own  accord,  where  the  two  were  playing  chess. 

"  We  are  so  lonesome,  Uncle  Doc.,"  said  little  Georgie, 
nestling  close  to  his  knee. 

"  Then  you  shall  stay  with  us,"  said  the  uncle,  taking 
one  in  each  arm.  "  But  where  is  the  lady  ?  Go  and  tell 
her  to  come,  too." 

"  Mary  is  not  very  well,"  said  their  mother,  quickly, 
before  the  children  had  time  to  reply.  "  But  she  should 
not  have  allowed  you  to  come  here.  She  should  have 
kept  you  with  her,"  she  went  on,  turning  to  the  children. 

"  Mamma,"  said  Helen,  "  Mrs.  Grey  is  so  sick,  and  we 
could  not  keep  still,  so  Georgie  and  me  crept  away." 

"  What  !  a  sick  lady  taking  care  of  two  noisy  children, 
while  we  are  idling  away  our  time  with  this  childish 
game  !  " 

"  It  is  nothing  serious,"  said  the  woman,  coloring ; 
"  Mary  is  only  a  little  seasick,  and  I  wish  you  would  not 
persist  in  calling  her  lady." 

"Well,  you  are  at  liberty  to  call  her  what  yon  please; 
but  I  will  certainly  go  and  see  if  something  can  not  be 
done  for  her,"  said  the  doctor,  true  to  his  profession. 


332  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

"  Wait,"  said  the  woman,  rising  with  nervous  haste  ;  "  I 
will  go  first  and  see  if  she  cares  to  see  you.  She  is  such 
a  peculiar  girl,  and  avoids,  if  possible,  the  very  sight  of 
a  man.  Must  have  been  jilted  some  time  in  her  life ; 
fell  in  love  with  some  one  above  her  station,  no  doubt, — 
and  in"  that  case  she  was  served  right.  A  woman  in  her 
position  should  know  her  place/' 

So  saying,  she  left  the  parlor,  but  soon  returned,  say 
ing  :  "  Mary  does  not  care  to  see  a  doctor.  She  says  that 
all  she  needs  is  rest  and  quiet ;  but  if  you  will  prescribe 
something  that  will  help  her,  I  will  take  it  to  her." 

"  I  have  a  great  mind  to  go  to  her  anyway.  Sick  people 
are  not  expected  to  know  what  they  need."  But  instead 
of  carrying  out  his  threat,  he  went  to  his  medicine  case 
and  prepared  something  which  he  said  would  affect  a  tem 
porary  relief  at  least. 

The  next  morning,  however,  when  the  children  found 
their  way  to  his  room,  he  asked  them  to  lead  the  way  to 
the  sick  lady's  chamber.  He  found  her  better  ;  so  much 
so  that  she  was  in  no  need  of  a  professional  visit,  but  he 
knew  that  cheerful  conversation  possessed  in  itself  won 
derful  curative  powers  after  drugs  have  done,  or  failed  to 
do  their  part.  So  he  placed  a  chair  by  her  side  and  took 
her  hand,  in  a  professional  way,  into  his  own.  He  asked 
her  name  and  age  in  that  way  so  well  known  to  doctors, 
which  brooks  no  hesitation  or  denial.  She  answered  his 
questions  dutifully  but  no  more,  thinking  that  "if  his 
spirit  is  so  haughty  as  not  to  wish  to  come  in  contact 
with  me,  he  certainly  will  -wish  me  to  say  no  more  than 
is  necessary." 

"You  need  no  more  medicine,"  he  said.  "Such  a  con 
stitution  proves  its  own  best  cure." 

"I  have  taken  very  little  medicine  in  my  life-time,"  was 
her  reply.  "  I  have  always  had  that  greatest  of  blessings, 
good  health." 


THK    TRIP.  333 

"But  you  do  need  cheerful  companionship.  Why  do 
you  shut  yourself  up  in  this  manner?  As  your  physician 
I  forbid  it  from  this  hour." 

Before  either  had  time  to  say  more,  Mrs.  Enod  came 
hurrying  into  the  room.  "Oh,  you  are  here,"  she  said 
addressing  the  doctor.  "  I  have  been  looking  for  you.  I 
want  you  to  come  on  deck  with  me  before  the  sun  is  too 
warm.  Mary  is  so  much  better,  that  she  docs  not  need 
you.  It  is  a  pity"  she  said,  addressing  him,  "that  we  can 
not  have  the  health  that  some  of  these  domestics  have." 

The  man  said  nothing  but  followed  her  out,  but  from 
that  time  until  the  end  of  the  voyage,  he  managed  to  see 
his  patient,  as  he  called  her,  every  day.  The  woman  re 
monstrated  with  him,  saying  that  he  would  spoil  her,  at 
best,  with  his  attentions.  "  These  servants  are  so  pre 
sumptuous  that  one  can  not  treat  them  as  they  would 
like,"  she  said  one  time  in  her  hearing. 

The  limit  of  her  endurance  was  not  reached  until  the 
last  evening  on  board  the  steamer,  when  her  brother-in- 
law  declared  that  Mrs.  Grey  had  earned  one  evening  on 
deck.  "And,"  continued  he,  "since  you  have  not  the 
constitution  of  a  domestic,  you  had  better  not  come." 
Mrs.  Knod  knew  her  brother-in-law  too  well  to  offer  any 
remonstrance;  but  this  did  not  keep  her  from  framing 
her  resolutions.  She  would  see  that  this  should  end,  and 
that  at  once. 


CHAPTER  XXXIII. 

THE  TALK  OX  DECK. 

MEANWHILE  the  doctor  had  gone  in  quest  of  Mary 
Gre}'.  He  found  her  with  the  children.  These  he 
disposed  of  by  sending  them  to  their  mother.  He  then 
told  her  in  an  authorative  tone  that  he  had  come  to  take 
her  on  deck  to  enjoy  the  moonlight.  Her  mind  had  been 
disabused  before  this  as  to  the  character  of  the  man,  but 
she  still  obeyed  him  as  the  brother  of  her  mistress.  And 
walking,  with  her  hand  laid  lightly  on  his  arm,  where  he 
himself  had  placed  it,  she  told  him  her  story  fh  answer 
to  his  questions.  She  did  it  with  the  same  obedience  that 
had  marked  her  manner  toward  him.  And  here,  while 
the  ship  was  steaming  majestically  over  the  quiet  waters, 
which  the  full,  round  moon  had  turned  into  a  lake  of 
molten  gold,  she  told  him  her  life  from  her  childhood  to 
the  present  moment,  omitting  nothing  but  the  cause  of 
her  sudden  determination  to  come  with  his  sister-in-law. 

"  Out  of  her  sphere,  as  I  supposed,"  was  his  mental 
verdict.  Then  he  said  aloud  :  "  May  you  not  have  made 
a  mistake  in  coming  w7ith  my  sister  in  such  a  position?  " 

"  It  would  indeed  have  been  a  mistake  if  I  had  had  any 
choice  in  the  matter ;  but  since  we  can  only  be  partakers 
and  not  choosers  in  this  great  world,  I  can  but  make  the 
best  of  life  as  it  opens  up  before  me,  and  try  to  be  con 
tent." 

"Try  to  be  content!  But  are  you?  What  if  we  do 
try?  it  makes  the  misery  none  the  less  if  we  fail.  Trying 
to  be  satisfied  is  to  the  mind  much  as  the  faith  cure  is  to 
the  body.  We  may  have  all  the  faith  imaginable,  if  we 
do  not  renovate  our  systems,  either  by  a  change  of  air 

(334) 


TIIK    TALK    OX    DKCK.  335 

and  scenes  or  a  suitable  remedy,  if  the  others  are  not 
within  our  reach,  faith  itself  will  do  little.  So  it  is  with 
our  mental  structures:  we  may  try  to  overcome  their 
troubles,  but  if  we  have  no  happy  thoughts  and  pleasant 
occupation  to  take  the  place  of  the  depressing  forces,  our 
lives  will  be  lived  out  in  simply  trying." 

"  That  would  be  true  were  we  solely  dependent  upon 
our  own  strength  ;  but  we  have  the  promise  of  Him  who 
said,  '  I  will  be  eyes  to  the  blind  and  strength  to  the 
weak.'  " 

He  gave  her  face  a  searching  look.  He  had  heard  such 
things  preached  from  the  pulpit  ever  since  he  could  re 
member,  and  had  been  brought  up  to  take  part  in  the 
religious  services  which  propounded  such  a  doctrine,  but 
he  had  seen  very  few  who  seemed  to  derive  any  real 
comfort  from  the  faith  which  they  professed.  lie  did  not 
ask  her  why  she  did  not  return  to  her  friends.  Even  if 
he  had  been  tormented  with  undue  curiosity,  he  would 
not  have  felt  at  liberty  to  catechise  her.  Hut  instead  he 
thought,  "  She  has  some  cause  of  her  own,  and  because 
she  does  not  care  to  share  it  with  me  does  not  make  it  a 
questionable  one." 

"  Is  your  faith  such  great  help  to  you?"  he  said,  still 
regarding  her  earnestly. 

"  How  could  it  be  otherwise,"  she  said,  returning  his 
look  in  all  sincerity,  "  when  we  need  only  to  lay  hold  ot 
God's  promises  to  reali/e  their  fulfillment;'" 

"  And  from  whence  do  you  derive  your  laith  ?  Tell  me 
about  it,  will  you  not?  " 

"  My  faith  in  the  divine  power  conies  from  God,  its 
only  true  source.  He  just  puts  it  into  our  hearts  to  be 
lieve,  through  the  striving  of  his  Spirit,  and  it  is  through 
Him  that  we  are  strengthened  and  our  trust  becomes  a 
faith.  I  could  not  help  but  be  a  believer.  Kven  by  nature 


336  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

and  training,  born  of  trusting  parents,  I  was  brought  up 
in  an  atmosphere  of  simple  faith — faith  in  God  an'd  in 
humanity." 

"  Has  nothing  ever  occurred  to  weaken  your  faith  in 
man? "  was  the  Doctor's  next  question. 

"  It  has  seemed  that  some  are  not  what  would  be  best 
for  them  ;  but  my  faith  in  human  nature  is  not  impaired 
in  the  least,  I  hope." 

"  Have  you  never  been  the  loser  by  too  implicit  faith 
or  misplaced  confidence  ?  " 

"It  is  not  necessary  to  manifest  our  faith  in  the  human 
family  by  undue  confidence ;  and  the  little  that  we  may 
possibly  lose  through  our  faith  in  others  is  doubly  repaid 
by  the  peace  of  mind  that  we  are  afforded  in  believing 
that  all  are  what  they  seem  to  all  outward  appearances 
to  be." 

This  latter  view  coincided  in  a  measure  with  his  own. 
While  he  admitted  that  he  knew  little  about  the  faith 
from  above,  he  had  always  been  inclined  to  take  people 
at  their  word.  "  And,"  he  thought,  "  I  would  rather  lose 
the  few  dollars  over  again  than  to  look  with  mistrust 
upon  any  honest  man,  woman,  or  child." 

"  Yes,"  he  said,  "  such  a  nature  brings  to  us  much 
more  than  we  lose  by  it.  Mrs.  Grey,  if  you  can  hope  for 
nothing  only  to  support  yourself,  and  you  take  pleasure 
in  labors  of  mercy,  why  not  enter  one  of  our  hospitals, 
where  you  can  meet  on  an  equal  footing  ladies  of  greater 
culture  and  refinement  ( and  consequently  more  con 
genial  to  your  tastes)  than  those  who  may.be  blessed — or 
cursed — with  enough  of  this  world's  goods  to  make  up, 
according  to  their  opinion,  for  all  their  failings  and  short 
comings,  but  which  falls  just  short  enough  to  make  it 
necessary  that  they  should  bend  every  energy  to  impress 
their  superiority  upon  others  ?  It  would  not  take  you 


THK    TALK    ON    DKCK.  337 

long  to  learn  the  art  of  nursing ;  and  aside  from  the  hos 
pital  work,  those  trained  for  such  duties  can  command  a 
price  for  such  services  which  would  surprise  one  not 
familiar  with  the  subject." 

"  I  never  had  any  training  only  in  music,  and  to 
succeed  in  that  in  a  strange  city  would  require  a  greater 
reputation  than  I  can  hope  to  gain  for  myself.  My  hus 
band's  death  was  so  sudden  and  such  a  blow  that  I  have 
scarcely  been  able  to  judge  for  myself  since.  But  I 
would  be  so  glad  to  do  something  that  would  not  inter 
fere  with  my  self-respect  —  something  that  would  not 
keep  my  menial  position  continually  before  my  eyes  ;  for 
if  there  is  any  fault  to  be  found  with  my  country  train 
ing,  it  is  that  it  implants  into  our  natures  a  pride  (to 
which  the  right  is  denied  us  by  the  wealthy)  that  causes 
us  to  look  out  upon  all  the  world  and  say,  '  I  acknowledge 
obeisance  to  none.'  I  have  prayed  that  I  might  become 
more  humble.  I  find  myself  submissive  before  God,  but 
never  before  man." 

"  Well,  according  to  my  best  reasoning,  those  in  whom 
that  spirit  is  implanted  must  have  a  perfect  right  to  it, 
and  I  would  not  pray  to  overcome  it.  I  think  the  very 
fact  that  the  Bible  tells  us  that  there  are  some  born  to 
serve  is  proof  that  there  are  those  who  have  no  higher 
ambition  and  who  have  no  pride  to  be  wounded." 

"Your  reasoning  may  be  correct,  and  we  may  have  a 
perfect  right  to  the  feeling  that  we  are  subordinate  to 
none,  but  the  right  can  bring  us  no  comfort,  but  misery 
and  dissatisfaction  instead.  What  would  you  do  with  the 
many  who  are  proud  and  still  must  bend:'  It  would  be 
far  better  if  we  could  humble  our  spirits,  than  to  have 
them  daily  crushed  anew  under  the  heel  of  a  world  thai 
would  deprive  us  of  even  a  thought  for  ourselves  if  they 
could,  and  make  us  think  and  act  only  for  their  com  tort 
and  happiness." 


338  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

"Well,  this  is  an  unfeeling  world,  when  one  stops  to 
think  about  it,  I  will  own.  Half  of  it  would  have  to  be 
turned  into  an  intelligence  office  if  higher  employment 
were  to  be  found  for  all  those  who  would  be  fitted  for 
such  positions.  The  only  solution  to  the  problem  would 
be  to  treat  a  woman  more  like  a  man;  that  is,  to  value 
her  according  to  her  own  worth  and  not  by  the  labors  that 
she  may  be  obliged  to  engage  in,  for  she  is,  after  all,  only 
doing  her  Master's  bidding  when  she  lives  by  the  sweat 
of  her  brow,  and  should  be  respected  accordingly.  But 
the  decrees  of  the  world  will  continue  to  frown  upon 
woman's  efforts." 

"Yes,"  said  Mary  Grey,  "in  spite  of  the  talk  about 
woman's  progress,  there  is  very  little  to  elate  us,  for  we 
are  still  forced  into  the  struggle  for  bread,  both  hand 
cuffed  and  shackled.  While  the  higher  and  more  remun 
erative  avenues  of  support  are  opened  up  to  us,  it  reminds 
me  of  a  boat,  occupied  by  a  woman,  trying  to  cross  a 
river,  while  it  is  making  slowly  and  steadily  for  the  other 
shore  in  spite  of.  the  crafts  whose  oars  are  being  plied  by 
stronger  and  masculine  hands  trying  to  impede  their 
passage  and  landing.  The  water  is  just  as  surely  closing 
in  in  the  wake  of  the  vessel." 

"  And  you  think  that  since  the  progress  is  brought 
about  by  their  own  efforts,  their  right  of  advance  should 
not  be  disputed?" 

"Yes,  and  since  the  water  not  only  closes  in  in  the  rear 
of  the  vessel,  but  forces  all  self-respecting  women  on." 

"Well,  that  is  an  odd  illustration,  but  an  original  one 
I  will  warrant,  and  to  the  point.  There  is  too  much 
truth  in  the  matter  to  treat  it  lightly.  The  women  are 
pushed  into  the  stream  by  the  physical  demands  of  this 
life,  food,  clothing,  and  a  roof  over  their  heads,  which 
their  natural  protectors  fail  to  supply,  and  then  they  add 


THE    TALK    ON    DKCK.  339 

injury  to  neglect  by  denying  them  the  right  to  sail,  even 
though  it  is  by  their  unjust  verdict  that  they  are  crowded 
on ;  for  any  calling  attention  to  the  more  humble  employ 
ments  of  life,  is  regarded  by  evil-minded  men  as  a  license 
to  enter  or  approach.  You  who  have  never  been  thrown 
upon  the  mercies  of  a  large  city,  can  not  realize  the  ex 
tent  of  the  injustice,  and  I  advise  you  never  to  lay  your 
self  liable  to  the  indignities  to  which  you  would  be 
subjected,  nor  to  try  to  better  the  condition  of  others  who 
may  be  as  unfortunate  as  yourselves,  unless  you  have 
plenty  of  money  to  carry  on  your  intentions,  because  it 
would  be  like  attempting  to  move  a  mountain.  Your  life 
and  good  intentions  would  be  sacrificed,  even  though  in 
vain,  and  the  mountain  would  be  unmoved." 

"  But  since  I  have  no  one  to  depend  upon  but  myself, 
I  must  do  as  best  I  can.  I  thought  that  I  would  rather 
be  under  the  shelter  and  protection  of  a  family,  although 
in  the  capacity  of  a  waiting-maid,  than  to  be  dependent 
upon  the  public  for  a  living." 

"Well,  I  would  appreciate  a  shelter  lightly  if  I  must 
necessarily  be  crushed  under  its  roof.  I  have  had  ample 
opportunity  to  know  just  what  such  protection  means. 
In  performing  the  duties  of  my  profession,  1  have  become 
acquainted  with  the  inner  workings  of  many  homes,  and 
I  am  fully  convinced  that  if  half  of  the  time  devoted  by 
the  temperance  ladies  to  crush  out  the  saloon,  and  to  re 
form  drunken  men,  was  employed  in  trying  to  brighten 
the  path  of  those  who  are  spending  their  lives  in  admin 
istering  to  their  comforts,  and  by  speaking  a  cheering 
word  of  encouragement  to  them,  there  would  be  fewer 
feminine  associates  for  the  intemperate  man.  And  it 
one-fourth  the  time  taken  in  the  organi/ation  of  societies 
for  the  prevention  of  cruelty  to  animals,  and  the  money 
for  the  erection  of  homes  for  destitute  women,  was  spent 


340  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

in  trying  to  keep  such  girls  as  come  to  them  in  innocence, 
from  associating  with  those  who  will  drag  them  down, 
there  would  be  much  less  need  for  such  homes.  And  the 
sins  and  misery  that  could  be  avoided  'could  hardly  be 
estimated.  God  speed  the  cause  of  temperance.  I  ac 
knowledge  that  women  are  doing  a  noble  work  in  that 
line  and  in  assisting  the  unfortunate  women ;  but  it  does 
seem  that  they  are  allowed  to  slip  into  the  stream  for  the 
glory  of  rescuing  them." 

"  God  will  right  the  wrong  in  His  own  good  time,  we 
are  taught,"  said  Mary  Grey.  "  But  somehow  that  affords 
me  little  comfort.  The  wrongs  are  multiplied  and  in 
creased  to  such  an  extent  that  it  seems  that  it  would  take 
an  unending  eternity  to  right  them.  I  would  like  to 
spend  my  whole  life,  not  in  rescuing  from  sin,  but  trying 
to  keep  unwary  feet  from  entering  its  dangerous  paths." 

"Since  you  have  the  disposition,  it  is  a  pit}-  that  the 
means  have  been  denied  you.  Such  labors  would  neces 
sitate  not  only  untiring  efforts,  but  unbounded  wealth  as 
well;  and  since,  instead  of  being  in  possession  of  such, 
you  are  even  obliged  to  earn  your  own  bread,  let  me 
choose  your  work  for  you.  You  know  it  is  natural  for 
every  one  to  be  most  interested  in  theirtown  line  of  work. 
Now  I  am  particularly  interested  in  the  ailments  of  the 
body.  Stay  with  us  until  we  return  to  New  York,  and  I 
will  secure  a  position  for  you  in  one  of  the  charity  hos 
pitals.  They  are  carried  on  by  the  churches  and  people 
of  wealth.  And  even  though  you  be  allowed  a  generous 
remuneration,  you  will  be  doing  a  noble  work;  for  while 
others  would  be  giving  what  you  have  not — money — you 
would  be  sacrificing  your  time  and  strength  and  doing 
that  for  which  they  would  be  wholly  unfitted  and  would 
much  rather  pay  you  for." 

"  I  thank  you  kindly  for  your  solicitude.     I  will  stay 


Till-:    TALK    ON    DECK.  341 

with  your  sister-in-law,  of  course,  and  when  we  return  to 
America,"  I  will  no  doubt  be  glad  to  accept  your  assist 
ance." 

"\Yell,"  said  Dr.  Knod,  ''we  have  been  so  busy  talking 
that  we  have',"  not  even  stopped  to  enjoy  the  moonlight, 
we  are  such  matter-of-fact  people;  but  you  have  had  the 
benefit  of  the  bracing  air  just  as  much  as  if  you  had  been 
conscious  of  it,  and  I  have  had  the  pleasure  of  your 
society,  and  since  our  interests  lie  in  the  same  channel, 
we  may  in  time  become  good  friends,  and  be  of  valuable 
assistance  to  each  other.  And  now  I  will  bid  you  good 
night,"  he  said,  leaving  her  at  her  own  door. 


CHAPTER  XXXIV. 

THE    RETURN. 

THE  next  morning  Mrs.  Enod  caught  Mary  Grey 
before  she  had  time  to  make  her  toilet.  Haughty 
scorn  was  depicted  upon  every  lineament  of  her  cold, 
aristocratic  face,  and  she  began  in  icy,  measured  tones, 
which  were  intended  to  carry  the  iron  of  conviction  into 
the  very  soul  of  her  listener : 

"  Mary,  you  must  know  that  since  what  took  place  last 
night  you  can  no  longer  remain  w7ith  us  to  cast  your 
harmful  influence  upon  my  household." 

Mrs.  Grey  realized  the  force  of  the  words,  even  though 
she  felt  their  injustice.  She  was  far  from  her  native  land 
and  among  strangers,  and  she  could  not  be  independent 
before  the  woman  upon  whom  she  must  depend  in  what 
ever  course  she  was  to  take. 

She  had  thought,  "  I  will  go  far  from  friend  and  foe 
alike."  She  had  not  realized  how  futile  would  be  this 
attempt;  for  wherever  the  human  heart  is  found  will  be 
found  its  inherent  weakness,  and  through  our  shortcom 
ings  we  are  ever  in  danger  of  incurring  its  enmity  and 
ill  will.  And  as  long  as  we  remain  on  earth  we  can  not 
get  away  from  our  worst  and  most  effectual  enemy,  self. 

Instead  of  allowing  the  w»rds  that  would  naturally 
have  arisen  to  pass  her  lips,  she  only  said  quietly  : 

"  What  have  I  done  that  should  cause  you  such  dis 
pleasure,  Mrs.  Enod?" 

"  Of  course  the  people  in  your  station  observe  no  laws 
of  propriety  among  their  own  class,  but  the  common 
prudence  with  which  every  woman  is  more  or  less  en 
dowed  should  have  taught  you  before  this  that  a  servant 

(342) 


Tin-:   RKTTRX. 


343 


has  no  right  to  neglect  her  duties  to  receive  the  attentions 
of  her  equals,  much  less  to  presume  upon  the  attention 
of  a  gentleman,  even  if  you  had  no  conception  of  the 
fitness  of  things." 

"  Mrs.  Knod,"  she  said,  looking  the  woman  full  in  the 
face,  "  I  have  never  received  the  attention  of  any  only 
gentlemen.  And  such  being  the  case,  I  did  not  doubt 
that  his  kindness  was  respectful,  and  when  he  asked  me 
to  walk  on  deck  with  him  I  accepted  ;  and  if  I  did  wrong 
it  was  no  more  than  you  have  done  many  times  yourself. 
I  do  not  wish  to  increase  your  anger,  but  you  have  no 
right  to  insult  me.  If  you  wish  to  regard  yourself  as  my 
superior,  you  should  prove  yourself  to  be  such.  I  would 
not  willingly  cause  a  living  being  pain." 

The  woman's  face  was  white  with  rage.  She  felt  that 
she  stood  before  a  woman  whom  she  was  powerless  to 
crush,  much  as  she  would  like  to  have  her  proud  spirit 
beneath  her  heel.  If  contempt  and  withering  scorn 
could  have  killed,  Mary  Grey  would  have  fallen  beneath 
her  ga/e  as  she  said  : 

"Have  no  fear  that  you  will  increase  my  anger.  I 
would  not  stoop  to  being  angry  with  my  waiting-maid. 
But  how  dare  you  measure  your  actions  and  rights  by 
mine  ?  No  worse  than  I  have  done  !  "  she  almost  screamed. 
"  The  fact  that  a  lady  walks  with  a  gentleman  on  deck  does 
not  give  her  servant  the  right  to  his  society,  and  it  would 
be  far  better  for  you  if  you  had  learned  it  before.  You 
may  have  received  the  attention  of  gentlemen,  tor  even 
they  will  forget  themselves  in  the  presence  ol  an  over- 
willing,  scheming  woman.  But  I  suppose  in  your  eyes  the 
clerk,  hod-carrier,  and  butcher's  boy  would  also  come 
under  the  title.  How  dare  you  speak  of  my  insulting  you  ,J 
I  am  only  telling  you  what  every  lady  has  a  right  to  im 
press  upon  her  servants — their  place  !  As  for  my  piov- 


344  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

ing  myself  your  superior,  I  do  not  deign  to  prove  what  is 
beyond  dispute." 

The  fact  that  Mrs.  Grey  was  by  far  the  cooler  of  the 
two  only  added  to  the  white  heat  of  the  woman,  for  this 
only  seemed  to  repeat  the  remark,  "  If  you  are  my  supe 
rior,  prove  it  by  your  manner  and  not  by  your  assertions." 

"  I  take  your  dismissal,  Mrs.  Enod,  and  your  right  to 
criticise  ends  here  and  now.  So  please  excuse  me  from 
listening  to  anything  more."  So  saying,  she  held  the 
door  open  for  the  woman  to  pass  out. 

She  wanted  to  get  rid  of  her  before  her  courage  failed, 
but  she  had  no  sooner  closed  the  door  than  she  burst  into 
a  passion  of  tears.  What  would  she  do  ?  She  had  been 
wounded  and  insulted,  and  now  would  soon  be  left  alone 
in  a  strange  country.  She  had  no  means  with  which  to 
remain,  and  not  enough  to  pay  her  passage  back. 

The  woman,  determined  to  rid  herself  of  her  "beauty" 
before  it  should  prove  a  detriment  to  her  future  happi 
ness,  soon  returned.  She  threw  a  well-filled  purse  into 
the  weeping  woman's  lap,  saying :  "  Mary,  since  you  are 
not  an  altogether  responsible  person,  I  will  give  you  this 
to  pay  your  way^back.  I  will  send  the  captain  to  you. 
There  is  a  steamer  ready  to  leave  the  harbor  now,  and  is 
only  waiting  for  us  to  reach  the  landing.  You  can  start 
back  to  America  in  place  of  going  on  shore." 

"If  I^had  any'choice  in  the  matter,  I  would  not  accept 
your  money  ;  but  as  it  is,  I  thank  you  very  much.  I  may 
need  it  sadly." 

In  the  hurry  and  confusion  as  they  steamed  into  port, 
she  had  only  time  to  catch  a  glimpse  of  Dr.  Enod's  face, 
as  she  was  lowered  into  the  boat  which  the  captain  had 
ordered  to  take  her  to  the  return  steamer,  which  was  even 
now  blowing  its^whistle  and  ringing  the  bell,  preparatory 
to  starting. 


TIIH    KKTrKN.  345 

In  three  weeks  from  the  time  that  she  had  left  New 
York  she  again  reached  its  harbor.  vShe  was  da/ed  and 
bewildered  by  the  surging  crowd  of  humanity,  and  had 
it  not  been  for  the  young  woman  whose  acquaintance  she 
had  made  during  the  voyage,  she  would  not  have  been 
able  to  make  her  way  through  the  heterogeneous  mass 
that  frequent  the  harbor  on  the  arrival  of  an  emigrant 
vessel. 

Her  new  acquaintance  had  told  her  that  her  husband 
was  a  mechanic,  and  had  been  in  Xew  York  for  the  last 
two  years.  He  had  gone  there  directly  after  their  mar 
riage  to  make  a  home  for  her:  and  that  she  had  helped 
along  by  remaining  at  service  in  her  native  town;  that 
they  had  made  the  last  payment,  and  that  she  was  on  her 
way  to  join  him  in  the  new  world. 

They  were  met  at  the  landing  by  the  sturdy  young 
husband. 

The  meeting  between  the  long  separated  pair  brought 
tears  to  the  eyes  of  Mary  drey.  They  were  so  absorbed 
in  each  other  as  to  forget  her  presence.  But  when  he 
started  to  lead  his  wife  proud1,)"  to  a  hack,  he  looked  from 
her  to  the  stranger  in  a  questioning  way,  that  brought 
that  happy  matron  to  her  senses. 

Excusing  herself  for  her  lack  of  courtesy,  she  intro 
duced  Mrs.  Grey  to  her  husband,  at  the  same  time  telling 
him  that  the  lady  would  board  with  them  for  a  time  if  IK- 
did  not  object. 

But  the  man  was  too  happy  to  object  to  any  arrange 
ment  that  his  wife  might  make,  and  so  the  question  was 
settled;  and  they  were  soon  at  the  door  of  the  house  that 
had  been  prepared  by  the  husband.  Everything  was 
exactly  as  the  wife  wanted  it.  She  could  not  have  pleased 
herself  better  in  anything,  she  declared.  Everything  was 
commented  upon  and  praised,  and  the  man  went  about 


346  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

with  the  air  of  one  who  had  done  his  best,  and  was  satis 
fied  with  himself. 

And  a  prince  in  his  royal  palace  could  not  be  happier 
or  more  content  with  his  lot  than  this  youthful  pair  in 
their  humble  cottage  on  one  of  the  plain  though  respect 
able  streets. 

Mary  Grey  remained  with  them  as  the  months  went 
by.  What  else  could  she  do  ?  The  two  women  took  in 
plain  sewing,  and  soon  had  all  that  they  could  do,  and  in 
this  way  she  earned  sufficient  to  pay  for  her  board  and 
lodging.  But  in  their  locality  there  were  so  many  calls 
for  charity  that  she  found  it  necessary  to  draw  upon  her 
bank  account.  This  she  did  unhesitatingly,  thinking, 
"  The  Lord  loves  a  cheerful  giver.  He  has  promised  to 
take  care  of  His  own.  I  need  have  no  fear." 

She  had  drawn  her  last  account,  which  was  fast  becom 
ing  exhausted.  Winter  had  increased  their  needs,  but 
they  were  all  three  toiling  courageously  on,  when  one 
morning  a  message  arrived  that  Mrs.  Tinly  should  accom 
pany  the  bearer  to  one  of  the  city  hospitals  ;  that  her 
husband  had  been  slightly  injured  by  a  fall  from  a  build 
ing  that  he  was  helping  to  erect. 

The  woman  was  too  frightened  to  know  what  she  was 
about  or  w7hat  was  expected  of  her,  and  went  about 
wringing  her  hands  and  sobbing,  "  Oh,  I  kno\*  that  John 
'is  killed  !  I  know  that  he  is  dead  !  I  had  such  a  strange 
dream  about  him  last  night.  Oh,  I  know  he  is  dead  !  " 

Mary  Grey  had  as  much  as  she  could  do  to  get  her  into 
her  wraps  and  into  the  cab,  which  she  hailed  at  the  curb 
stone.  Her  tears  fell  fast  with  those  of  the  stricken 
woman  as  she  was  vainly  trying  to  comfort  her.  But 
when  they  reached  his  bedside,  and  she  found  that  he 
had  sustained  only  a  few  bruises  and  a  sprained  ankle, 
her  relief  was  almost  as  pitiful  as  her  sorrow  had  been. 


TIIK    RETURN. 


347 


A  doctor  who  had  witnessed  the  accident  had  accom 
panied  him  in  the  ambulance.  He  assured  them  that 
although  he  might  not  be  able  to  work  for  a  few  weeks, 
he  would  without  doubt  be  all  right  by  that  time. 

Mary  Grey  had  remained  outside  until  she  heard  that 
the  injury  was  no  worse.  She  was  about  to  step  to  the 
side  of  the  cot,  when  she  heard  her  name  spoken,  and 
turning  about  she  faced  Dr.  Knod. 

"  I  am  glad  to  see  you,"  she  said,  smilingly,  giving  him 
her  hand. 

"The  pleasure  is  mutual,"  was  his  earnest  answer. 
"  Had  I  known  that  you  were  here,  I  should  have  tried 
to  find  you,  but  without  a  clue  a  search  in  New  York  is 
discouraging.  Where  are  you  stopping?  I  will  call  on 
you  this  evening." 

She  gave  him  her  street  and  number,  spoke  a  few 
words  to  the  injured  man,  and  then  returned  to  her  work, 
leaving  Mrs.  Tinly  with  her  husband. 

That  evening  Dr.  Knod  called.  His  first  question  was 
why  she  had  left  his  sister-in-law  and  returned  so  sud 
denly  to  America.  He  watched  her  closely,  as  if  he  ex 
pected  to  learn  something  by  her  face  that  she  would  not 
be  willing  to  tell. 

"  I  failed  to  please  Mrs.  Knod,  so  she  paid  for  inv 
return  passage,"  was  her  answer. 

The  man  guessed  in  what  respect  she  failed  to  please, 
but  respected  her  all  the  more  for  not  disclosing  it.  It 
was  just  as  he  had  supposed.  His  sister-in-law  had  told 
him  a  story  of  a  lover  whom  she  had  lett  in  America. 
"  He  was  a  gardener  for  some  wealthy  family,"  she  said, 
and  that  "the  girl  had  been  stricken  with  remorse  for 
having  left  him,  and  had  gone  back  to  take  a  situation  in 
the  same  family,  so  as  to  be  able  to  cheer  him  witli  her 
societv.  You  know  if  a  girl  of  that  >tamp  has  no  lover 


34^  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

she  is  nothing."  He  had  not  believed  her,  but  had  held 
his  peace. 

"  Why  did  you  not  say  good-bye  to  me,  and  give  me 
your  address,  so  I  could  have  found  you  sooner?  I  have 
been  back  at  my  practice  for  several  months." 

"  I  had  no  time  to  say  good-bye.  I  had  to  hurry  to 
catch  the  return  vessel,  as  it  was  just  about  to  start." 

"  You  must  have  taken  a  very  sudden  notion — but  I 
suppose  Anna  took  the  notion  instead  of  you.  But  that 
is  neither  here  nor  there,  since  I  have  found  you.  I  am 
going  to  fulfill  my  promise  by  doing  the  very  best  in  my 
power  for  you.  I  was  at  some  of  the  hospitals  today, 
and  succeeded  even  beyond  my  own  expectations.  I 
have  the  promise  of  a  position  for  you  whenever  you  are 
ready  to  accept.  You  are  to  be  taken  on  trust,  instead 
of  having  to  serve  an  apprenticeship,  and  will  receive  a 
fair  recompense  at  once.  You  are  to  have  your  choice 
between  nursing  serious  cases,  convalescents,  or  doing 
general  work." 

"  I  am  willing  to  do  anything  for  which  I  am  most 
needed,"  she  said,  a  glad  look  overspreading  her  face. 

"  Then  general  work  will  suit  you  best.  It  will  give 
you  a  variation  which  will  be  much  better  for  your  own 
health,  and  will  keep  your  duties  from  becoming  irksome." 

"I  am  not  afraid  of  becoming  tired,  but  how  will  I  ever 
repay  you,"  she  said,  giving  him  her  hand  impulsively. 
"I  owe  so  much  to  you." 

"You  can  repay  me  best  by  accepting;  saying  no  more 
about  it,  and  being  happy  and  regarding  me  as  a  trusty 
friend  who  certainly  means  you  well." 

"I  believe  you,"  she  said  simply,  "and  I  only  hope  that 
you  show  the  same  kindness  toward  others  that  you  do 
to  me." 

"I  try  to,  but  I  am  afraid  that  I  sometimes  fall  short. 


THK    RETURN. 


349 


The  human  family  is  certainly  in  need  of  all  the  kind 
ness  and  sympathy  that  can  possibly  be  bestowed  upon 
them,  let  the  people  be  whom  and  what  they  may.  I 
have  found  patients  whose  maladies  yielded  to  kind  and 
cheering  words  when  all  other  remedies  proved  alike  un 
availing." 

"You  do  a  great  deal  of  good,  I  am  sure.  When  I  see 
others  try,  it  makes  me  ashamed  that  I  have  done  no 
more.  Your  kindness  to  me  has  been  a  rebuke." 

The  man  could  not  fail  to  see  the  entire  confidence 
that  she  was  ready  to  place  in  him,  and  he  was  pleased. 
It  awakened  his  noblest  impulses.  A  worldly-wise  woman 
would  have  demanded  a  dozen  proofs  of  my  trust-worthi 
ness.  Such  trust  is  the  natural  outcome  of  a  soul  unac 
quainted  with  wrong. 

"  Her  faith  shall  not  be  misplaced."  He  almost  felt 
that  a  sacred  trust  had  been  given  into  his  keeping,  which 
he  resolved  should  not  be  betrayed  by  word  or  sign. 

"I  hope  that  I  am  worthy  of  your  good  opinion  and 
that  you  will  never  have  occasion  to  change  it." 

Any  one  looking  into  his  face  just  then  would  not  have 
doubted  the  sincerity  of  his  words,  for  the  light  of  an 
honorable  soul  and  the  kindest  of  hearts  shone  on  his 
manly  countenance. 

During  his  collegiate  course  and  his  labors  as  general 
practitioner,  every  kind  of  influence  had  been  brought 
to  bear  upon  his  character;  but  instead  of  yielding  to 
their  harmful  effects,  it  only  served  to  strengthen  his 
character  against  them,  and  to  despise  them  the  more. 
Neither  did  his  constant  association  with  the.  suffering 
school  him  to  indifference;  but  instead  it  increased  his 
sympathies  to  such  an  extent  as  to  cause  him,  through 
the  sensitiveness  of  his  nature  and  touch,  to  suffer  with 
his  patients;  and  the  smile  of  bland  benevolence  upon 


350  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

his  noble  countenance  was  not  one  of  professional  policy, 
but  of  a  tender  heart  instead.  Never  during  his  prac 
tice  had  it  entered  his  heart  of  hearts  to  act  in  any  but 
a  disinterested  way.  His  conscience  was  keenly  on  the 
alert  to  condemn  him  for  any  break  of  trust. 

Although  he  accepted  liberal  fees  from  those  who  had 
it  to  give,  he  also  did  much  of  his  best  labors  for  the  love 
of  humanity ;  and  to  engage  in  the  practice  of  medicine 
as  the  means  of  a  livelihood  alone  would  have  seemed 
almost  an  irreparable  crime  in  his  eyes. 

His  influence  often  had  the  effect  upon  some  conscience 
less,  warped  character,  during  his  administration  in  re 
moving  the  effect  of  his  last  debauch,  to  make  him  resolve 
that  henceforth  he  would  be  a  man  and  worthy  of  the 
image  which  God  had  given  him. 

"A  man  who,  through  his  own  life,  can  not  prove  him 
self  a  moral  healer,  has  no  right  to  espouse  the  noble 
calling  of  medicine.  A  diploma  of  character  should  be 
required  of  every  practicing  physician,"  he  thought,  "and 
every  violation  of  its  principles  should  deprive  him  of 
his  rights  to  enter  the  homes  of  an  unsuspecting  public 
under  the  guise  of  a  benefactor." 

The  two  who  seemed  so  congenial  to  each  other,  talked 
on  until  an  understanding  had  been  established.  As  soon 
as  Mr.  Tinly  could  be  removed  to  his  home,  he  was  to 
come  for  her  and  escort  her  to  her  future  field  of  labor. 

When  he  arose  to  go,  he  offered  her  his  hand  with  such 
a  hearty  expression  of  regard  that  it  was  met  with  a  like 
response,  and  she  laid  her  hand  simply  into  his.  This 
served  to  seal  their  friendship,  and  each  one  felt  that 
something  had  been  added  to  their  lives,  with  which  they 
would  be  unwilling  to  part. 


CHAPTER   XXXV. 

MRS.  GREY    VISITS    CLOYKRDALK. 

MRS.  GRKY  had  been  in  the  hospital  several  weeks, 
when  one  day  a  letter  was  brought  to  her  by  Mrs- 
Tinly.  It  was  from  Cloverdale.  "  Dear  Mrs.  F'erris,"  she 
thought ;  "  it  was  wrong  to  treat  her  as  I  did.  My  pupils 
have  not  received  a  lesson  since  I  left.  What  does  that 
mean?"  Then  for  the  first  time  it  occurred  to  her  that 
Miss  Green's  story  might  have  been  false.  But  the  truth 
of  a  part  of  what  she  said,  which  had  been  proven,  had 
made  it  all  seem  plausible.  "  Is  it  possible  that  my 
friends  know  nothing  about  that  shameful  affair?  Surely 
Mrs.  Ferris  would  not  have  written  me  as  she  did,  if  she 
had  heard  it.  She  would  not  deceive  me,  even  to  add  to 
my  peace  of  mind."  She' proceeded  at  once  to  answer 
the  letter. 

This  message,  which  was  so  gladly  received  by  her 
faithful  friend,  was  brimful  of  peace  and  happiness.  "  Do 
not  think  that  I  am  glad  to  be  away  from  you,"  it  read, 
"  but  I  am  perfectly  happy.  I  am  nursing  in  a  hospital, 
which  is  carried  on  by  one  of  the  best  churches  here,  and 
receive  an  ample  salary.  But  it  does  not  keep.  My 
pockets  have  holes  and  my  fingers  are  oiled,  so  you  see 
there  is  no  hope  of  holding  money  :  and  when  I  tell  you 
that  I  have  added  caps  and  white  aprons  to  my  wardrobe, 
you  will  know  where  some  of  it  is  squandered.  I  have 
made  some  acquaintances  here  who  are  very  kind  to  me. 
I  assure  you  that  I  could  ask  no  more.  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Tinly,  a  young  mechanic  and  his  wife,  have  been  very 
useful  friends.  Dr.  iCnod  secured  this  position  for  me.  I 
would  like  for  you  to  know  him.  He  is  a  man  of  wealth, 

(  35 '  ) 


352  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

but  continues  his  practice  simply  because  it  is  his  nature 
to  do  good  and  to  want  to  alleviate  pain.  My  duties  are 
light,  and  I  need  no  rest,  but  some  time  in  future  I  may 
avail  myself  of  your  kind  invitation,  for  which  I  thank 
you  heartily.  I  have  much  to  tell  you,  but  will  wait  until 
I  see  you.  Until  then,  good-bye." 

From  this  time  until  spring  the  letters  between  the  two 
friends  were  regular  and  frequent.  Then  came  another 
earnest  appeal  for  a  visit  from  Mrs.  Ferris.  This  the 
recipient  gave  to  Dr.  Enod  to  read,  with  the  question  : 

"  As  my  advisory  physician  I  ask  you,  Do  I  need  a 
rest?  Do  I  look  like  a  person  in  a  decline? " 

The  man  read  the  letter  over  slowly,  as  if  to  gain  time 
for  thought.  Then  he  regarded  her  so  earnestly  that  she 
felt  inclined  to  turn  away  from  his  scrutiny.  At  last  he 
said,  as  though  reluctantly  : 

"  A  short  vacation  would  do  you  no  harm.  I  will  see 
that  you  are  granted  one.  But  what  do  you  suppose 
your  patients  will  do  without  their  'bonny  nurse,'  as  that 
old  sailor  persists  in  calling  you?  But  it  would  serve 
him  right  to  punish  him  for  his  impudent  admiring  looks 
and  crochety  ways." 

"I  will  be  sorry  to  leave  him;  the  other  nurses  have 
so  little  patience  with  him.  The  rest  will  fare  just  as 
well  without  me." 

"  I  am  not  so  sure  about  all  the  rest,"  he  said.  "  But 
will  you  be  so  very  glad  to  go  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  will  be  glad,  since  I  have  not  seen  my  friends 
for  nearly  a  year.  But  I  believe  that  I  will  also  be  glad 
to  get  back.  I  have  been  so  well  satisfied,  and  I  have 
not  forgotten  that  I  owe  it  all  to  you,"  and  she  gave  him 
a  grateful  look. 

"  I  ask  for  no  other  return  than  that  you  should  be 
glad  to  get  back.  I  have  been  more  than  repaid  by  the 


MRS.    GRKV    VISITS    CLOVKRDALK. 

\J  *J  C> 

sight  of  your  happy  face  and  the  good  that  it  has  done  to 
others." 

Up  to  this  time  they  had  only  met  in  the  wards,  where 
she  had  sometimes  assisted  him  in  making  some  new 
arrival  comfortable,  or  in  smoothing  the  pillow  for  the 
dying.  But  today  he  had  asked  her  to  accompany  him 
to  the  hospital  parlor.  He  wanted  her  to  give  an  account 
of  herself,  and  tell  him  if  she  was  perfectly  contented 
with  her  lot. 

"  My  time  and  mind  are  fully  occupied,  and  that  %  all 
that  can  make  me  happy  now." 

He  detected  a  tone  of  sadness  in  her  voice  when  she 
said  the  "now,"  and  was  strangely  stirred.  "You  shall 
start  on  your  visit  tomorrow,  if  you  wish,"  lie  said. 

"  Oh,  no;  I  am  in  no  such  haste,  but  will  write  to  the 
lady  first." 

"  Thank  you,"  he  said,  as  if  a  favor  had  been  conferred 
upon  him. 

True  to  his  word,  the  Doctor  secured  a  leave  of  absence 
for  Mrs.  Ore}-,  to  begin  on  the  first  of  June.  And  on 
that  day  she  started  for  her  old  home. 

Strange  emotions  filled  her  heart.  Would  the  people 
be  glad  to  see  her3  vSome  of  them  would,  she  knew. 
Then  she  thought  of  her  husband.  She  could  think  of 
him  calmly  now.  The  pain  at  her  heart  had  given  place- 
to  a  sad,  sweet  memory,  that  would  ever  be  as  an  oasis, 
well  watered,  and  would  retain  a  sacred  place,  110  matter 
where  her  thoughts  might  be  drawn.  The  loneliness 
that  his  death  had  caused  her  had  been  partially  over 
come  by  her  busy  life,  she  thought,  "and  my  friends" 
and  then  her  mind  turned  to  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Tinly  and  to 
Dr.  Knod.  The  thoughts  about  the  latter  were  allowed 
to  take  no  definite  form  ;  but  she  found  that  her  return 
to  the  hospital  occupied  a  lion's  share  oi  her  thoughts, 


354  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

especially  since  it  was  only  a  few  hours   since  she  left 
there. 

When  she  reached  Cloverdale  Mrs.  Ferris  was  at  the 
depot  to  meet  her.  No  one  else  knew  of  her  expected 
arrival,  so  there  were  man}7  surprised  looks  directed  to 
ward  the  lady's  carriage.  Mrs.  Ferris  had  kept  her  secret 
well,  even  from  her  husband  and  daughter.  "  I  will  teach 
the  men  that  we  can  keep  a  secret,"  she  thought,  "  and 
also  that  our  very  breath  and  life  do  not  depend  upon 
theft-  efforts.  I  have  brought  her  back  without  assistance 
from  any  of  them.  It  is  my  opinion  that  the  stately  Col 
onel  wTill  manifest  more  than  the  fatherly  interest  that  he 
has  been  talking  so  much  about  when  he  finds  that  she 
does  not  need  his  parental  care." 

Her  brother  had  shaken  her  faith  in  fatherly  and  broth 
erly  protection.  She  was  almost  certain  that  he  had  been 
to  blame  for  Mrs.  Grey's  disappearance,  and  had  not  for 
gotten  to  add  in  her  last  letter  to  her,  "  My  brother  is  still 
abroad." 

Mrs.  Grey  cared  little  to  go  about,  so  a  general  invita 
tion  was  given  for  her  friends  to  call  to  see  her.  This 
they  were  not  slow  in  doing,  especially  the  sisters  of  the 
church,  who  each  found  it  particularly  incumbent  upon 
herself  individually  to  call  upon  the  dear  dead  pastor's 
widow.  Each  one  thought  "  she  would  feel  hurt  and 
slighted  if  I  did.  not  call  at  once." 

Mrs.  Jones  and  Mrs.  Dixon  \vere  there  betimes,  but 
their  ally  was  not  so  impressed  with  the  importance  of 
the  duty  and  could  not  be  prevailed  upon  to  accompany 
them.  She  was  not  devoid  of  conscience,  and  this,  alter 
nating  with  fear,  made  her  pillow  anything  but  a  downy 
one.  Her  falsehood  had  availed  her  nothing;  but  instead 
the  one  whose  attention  she  hoped  to  gain  must  regard 
her  with  a  feeling;  of  aversion.  She  had  not  onlv  for- 


-MRS.    GKKY    VISITS    CI.OYKRDALK.  355 

feited  the  man's  respect,  but  would  be  found  out  and 
become  an  odium  to  even  mischief-loving,  gossip-relishing; 
Cloverdale. 

Aside  from  her  knowledge  of  her  own  guilt,  her  un 
easiness  was  unfounded;  for  the  woman  whom  she  so 
feared  and  dreaded  was  far  too  happy  and  self-contained 
to  think  of  avenging  herself  upon  any  living  being. 
Those  little  injuries  which  had  been  done  her,  although 
not  entirely  forgotten,  had  vanished  into  comparative 
nothingness.  Her  face,  which  had  always  spoken  of  a 
peace  within,  but  as  an  index  to  the  heart  which  had 
undergone  such  anguish  in  the  last  two  years  and  had 
continually  been  cruelly  lacerated  and  torn  anew  by  un 
feeling  hands,  had  shown  to  a  close  observer  a  look  of 
pleading  helplessness,  which  seemed  at  times  to  say: 
"Must  I  endure  alone?  Is  there  no  one  to  help  me  bear 
this?" 

But  it  had  now  regained  its  wonted  strength,  and  bore 
a  look  which  gave  evidence  that  the  small  things  of  this 
life  could  neither  make  nor  mar  her  happiness.  And  as 
the  placid  surface  of  a  stream  is  an  indication  of  a  smooth 
bed  or  the  depth  of  its  waters;  so  the  illumination  of  her 
countenance  gave  evidence  of  a  depth  acquired  by  cul 
ture  and  refinement,  and  the  quieting  influence  oi  a  peace 
from  God  over  all. 

Mrs.  Ferris,  in  order  to  avoid  to  a  degree  the  questions 
and  surmises  that  would  otherwise  be  inevitable,  sent  an 
item  to  the  "Cloverdale  Inquisitive"  which  came  out  in 
its  columns  of  "Our  neighbors  in  and  about  town,"  and 
read  as  follows : 

"Mrs.  Grey,  who  has  for  some  time  been  doing  such 
noble  work  in  one  of  the  church  hospitals  ot  New  \«>rk. 
is  spending  her  vacation  in  Cloverdale,  the  guest  oi  Mrs. 
Ferris  and  other  friends." 


356  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

This  had  the  effect  of  abbreviating  their  questions  to 
some  extent,  but  she  was  accosted  at  every  meeting  with 
"  So  you  have  got  to  be  a  trained  nurse?  Do  you  like  the 
work  better  than  giving  music  lessons?" 

Among  the  calls  which  she  most  enjoyed  was  that  of 
Deacon  Hill,  his  wife  Betsy  and  daughter  Bessie.  If  the 
affable  deacon's  air  toward  Mrs.  Grey  was  somewhat  pro 
prietary,  it  should  have  been  forgiven  him.  For  was  not 
her  success  and  changed  appearance  partly  due  to  him? 
Had  he  not  defended  her  and  laid  himself  open  to  ridi 
cule  in  putting  the  check  rein  upon  some  of  Cloverdale's 
busiest  tongues? 

He  rattled  on  at  such  a  pace  that,  as  usual,  his  wife 
was  only  vouchsafed  a  remark  at  long  intervals,  but  she 
had  been  Mrs.  Deacon  Hill  so  long  that  she  felt  quite  at 
.home  in  occupying  a  subordinate  position  in  conversa 
tion;  and  hadn't  she  just  as  good  cause  to  be  proud  as  if 
she  had  said  some  of  those  things  which  were  so  full  of 
sly  meaning  herself?  So  she  quite  contented  herself  by 
watching  his  shrewd,  comical  face  and  admiring  his  wit 
ticisms  and  sage  remarks. 

"Has  Sarah  Green  been  to  see  you  yet?"  he  said  to 
Mrs.  Grey.  He  had  something  on  his  mind  that  he 
wanted  to  say  about  that  damsel,  and  was  going  to  steer 
straight  to  the  point.  But  since  Mrs.  Grey  simply  said, 
"I  have  not  yet  seen  her  "  he  had  to  plunge  into  the  sub 
ject  without  any  help. 

Ever  since  the  May  festival,  a  year  ago,  and  the  spite 
ful  talk  that  it  had  occasioned,  he  had  felt  that  the  butt 
of  all  those  stinging  thrusts  was  as  much  sinned  against 
as  sinning  and  had  missed  few  occasions  to  make  his 
opinion  known.  So  he  said  without  further  preliminary: 

"  I  don't  believe  that  she  would  be  such  a  bad  sort  of  a 
person  if  she  was  let  alone.  You  know  that  the  constant 


MRS.    GRKY    VISITS    CI.(  )VKKI)AI,K. 


357 


dripping  of  the  water  will  even  wear  away  hard  stone.  The 
patience,  that  is  not  worn  out  of  her  breast,  is  constantly 
kept  in  a  ferment  by  rankling  ridicule.  I  say  it  is 
cowardly  to  treat  a  single  woman,  who  has  no  one  to 
stand  up  for  her,  so  mean.  If  a  man  is  insulted,  he  takes 
the  sweets  of  revenge  out  of  the  other  fellow's  eye,  and 
leaves  a  black  mark  in  return.  If  a  married  woman  is 
is  abused,  she  has  her  husband  and  children  to  comfort 
her,  but  an  old  maid  has  nothing  to  do  but  keep  old  sores 
bleeding  by  brooding  them  over  or  by  trying  to  get  rid  of 
them  by  scratching  the  source,  which  only  makes  them 
become  more  irritated  and  eat  deeper  into  the  flesh.  What 
if  she  does  want  a  man?  She  has  a  perfect  right  to  want 
one.  It  is  the  nature  that  God  gave  her;  and  judging 
from  the  number  of  us  unworthy  fellows  who  have  wives, 
it  looks  like  some  other  women  wanted  men  or  took  them 
without  wanting  them,  which  would  still  be  worse.  It 
may  have  been  the  fault  of  nature  or  providence,  or  what 
ever  makes  faces  pretty,  that  she  did  not  get  one  ;  or  she 
might  even  have  been  more  particular  than  the  rest  of 
you.  I  know  that  she  would  be  better  off  with  a  family. 
Then  she  would  have  business  enough  of  her  own  to  take 
up  her  mind  and  would  not  have  to  meddle  with  her 
neighbors  for  pastime. 

"  Hetsy  is  a  prime  good  wife,  but  she  herself  could  not 
tell  what  kind  of  an  old  maid  she  would  have  made. 
She  may  have  had  a  narrow  escape  from  turning  into  a 
crabapple  herself  and  ought  to  thank  providence  continu 
ally  that  I  was  not  too  hard  to  catch.  And,  remember 
ing  upon  what  your  own  success  and  happiness  depended, 
none  of  you  married  women  ought  to  be  too  hard  on  Miss 
Green." 

His  wife  looked  as  if  she  felt  the  weight  of  his  words 
and  sanctioned  everv  one  of  them.  She  had  always  felt 


358  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

thankful   that   she  had  won   the  good   Deacon,   and,   of 
course,  every  other  woman  was  to  be  pitied. 

"But  Betsy  would  be  no  worse  off  without  me,  than  I 
would  be  without  Betsy ;  because  I  would  be  a  poor  stick 
and  a  crooked  one,  too,"  he  concluded. 

After  he  had  praised,  petted,  and  cajoled  Mrs.  Grey  to 
his  heart's  content,  and  seasoned  the  interview  by  his  out 
spoken  opinion  of  abused  spinsterhood,  the  Deacon  and 
his  family  took  their  departure,  and  Mrs.  Grey  was  left 
to  receive  other  callers. 

She  and  Mrs.  Ferris  had  repaired  to  the  shady  piazza 
at  the  east  end  of  the  house.  It  was  late  in  the  after 
noon,  and  they  had  almost  despaired  of  seeing  Colonel 
Wilkins  for  another 'day,  or  it  might  be  a  week,  when  his 
familiar  form  was  seen  entering  the  front  gate.  He  pro 
ceeded  toward  the  house  with  his  face  partly  averted. 
Mrs.  Ferris  pushed  her  guest  hastily  through  the  open 
door,  then  turned  to  the  man  who  had  by  this  time 
reached  the  steps.  She  hardly  took  time  to  greet  him 
before  she  said : 

"Guess  who  is  here.  I  shall  not  allow  you  to  see  until 
you  have  guessed." 

"  I  don't  know  unless  it  is  your  brother  or  Mrs.  Grey. 
Which  one  is  it?  " 

In  answer  Mrs.  Grey  came  toward  him.  She  gave  him 
her  hand  with  a  glad  smile. 

"We  were  beginning  to  fear  that  you  would  not  come 
again  today,"  she  said. 

"  We  certainly  would  have  taken  a  drive  to  the  country 
tomorrow  if  you  had  not,"  said  Mrs.  Ferris.  "We  would 
not  have  waited  much  longer." 

"Then  I  am  sorry  that  I  came  in,"  was  his  gallant  re 
joinder,  "  but  this  need  not  interfere  with  your  coming." 
He  regarded  Mrs.  Grey  long  and  earnestly.  "The  boys 


MRS.    GRKY    VISITS    CI.OYKRDALK.  359 

and  Aunt  Minnie  will  want  to  see  you.  Please  do  not 
remonstrate,  but  come  out  early  and  stay  late.  \Ve  will 
look  for  you,  and  you  would  not  care  to  disappoint  us,  I 
know7." 

"  I  have  not  long  to  stay,  but  since  I  will  see  you  to 
morrow  I  can  talk  to  you  then,"  he  said.  Then  making 
sure  that  his  invitation  had  been  accepted,  he  soon  took 
his  leave. 

He  had  been  surprised  at  the  change  in  the  face  of  Mrs. 
Grey.  It  had  always  appeared  thoughtful  and  was  none 
the  less  so  now,  but  the  sadness  had  entirely  disappeared. 

The  change  had  all  come  about  without  his  assistance. 
His  well-meaning  heart  experienced  a  stab  when  he 
thought  "she  did  not  need  me,"  and  still  worse,  when  he 
thought  that  some  one  else  might  have  had  the  privilege 
that  would  have  been  so  keenly  appreciated  by  him — that 
of  being  a  friend  and  adding  to  her  happiness.  He  had 
asked  so  little,  but  had  been  denied  even  that.  He  had 
asked  only  tlTat  he  might  be  as  a  father  or  elder  brother 
to  her,  but  she  had  received  from  some  other  source  what 
he  would  gladly  have  laid  at  her  feet.  The  spirit  of  sol 
icitude  which  had  burned  in  his  manly  heart  must  be 
consumed  by  its  own  fires. 

None  of  the  \Vilkins  family  attempted  to  conceal  the 
look  of  joyful  anticipation  that  shone  on  their  faces  the 
next  day  when  the  hour  for  the  company's  arrival  ap_ 
preached;  and  each  one  vied  with  the  other  to  show  Mrs. 
Grey  the  greatest  kindness  and  attention.  They  sang, 
played,  and  talked  together  and  were  happy. 

In  the  afternoon  the  whole  company  repaired  to  the 
woods. 

"  I  will  walk  with  Mrs.  Grey,"  said  Colonel  \Vilkins 
and  he  soon  led  her  apart.  Here  she  told  him  where  she 
had  been  and  what  she  had  been  doing,  but  never  dream- 


360  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

ing  how  eagerly  he  drank  in  every  word  and  thirsted  for 
more.  But  true  to  his  gentlemanly  instinct  he  forbore  to 
question  her,  but  let  her  tell  what  she  would. 

"After  all,"  his  conscience  kept  repeating,  "if  you  only 
had  her  interests  at  heart,  you  should  be  perfectly  con 
tent  to  see  her  happy,"  and  he  tried  to  reason  with  his 
heart  that  he  was.  But  it  was  plain  that  if  he  only  had 
her  happiness  in  view,  he  had  figured  largely  in  his  plans 
to  bring  it  about;  and  he  was  certain  by  this  time  that 
some  one  else  had  usurped  the  place  that  he  had  hoped 
to  hold. 

She  was  as  cordial  as  ever  in  her  manner  toward  him, 
but  this  only  confirmed  the  belief  that  the  innermost 
thoughts  which,  seemed  to  afford  her  such  happiness, 
were  not  of  him.  She  herself  might  never  have  analyzed 
them,  but  they  would  never  be  of  him. 

His  own  thoughts  were  so  well  concealed  that  Mrs. 
Grey  fully  believed  that  the  heart  of  her  companion  was 
as  light  and  joyful  as  her  own,  so  she  chatted  gayly  on. 
"  It  would  have  been  selfish  to  spoil  her  day  of  innocent 
pleasure  by  my  selfishness,"  he  thought ;  "and  it  is  best 
that  she  should  not  know — best  for  us  both." 

That  evening  the  man  went  alone  to  that  moss-grown 
grave,  where  he  had  seldom  gone  without  his  boys.  He 
stood  for  a  long  time,  his  head  uncovered  and  bowed, 
beside  the  mound.  Every  bit  of  the  tenderness  that  the 
long-lost  form  beneath  had  ever  caused  to  thrill  in  his 
breast  was  aroused  to  acuteness. 

"It  is  not  that  I  have  forgotten  you  or  love  your  mem 
ory  less.  I  would  have  given  my  own  life  to  save  yours, 
and  would  ask  no  greater  boon  on  earth — or  in  heaven 
either,  I  am  afraid — than  the  power  to  call  you  back. 
But  I  can  not.  You  are  so  far  away,  and  my  life  is  lonely. 
It  would  not  have  been  disloyalty  to  you,  but  I  need  the 


MRS.    C.KKY    VISITS    CI.OVHKDAI.K.  ^6  I 

presence  of  a  good   woman  to  comfort  and  cheer  me  at 
times,  when  I  can  not  manage  myself. 

"  She  is  so  near  akin  to  you  in  her  guileless  woman 
hood  that  it  would  almost  have  been  like  a  renewal  of 
life  with  yon.  Hut  this  second  joy  has  been  denied  me, 
and  I  do  not  murmur.  One  sweet  life  was  entrusted  to 
my  keeping,  and  although  I  was  faithful  to  my  trust  and 
dealt  with  her  as  I  would  have  Him  deal  with  me,  lie 
may  not  regard  me  worthy  of  another." 

He  replaced  his  hat  and  walked  away,  a  manly  resolve 
upon  his  face.  Some  other  man,  with  a  less  fervent  love, 
would  have  cast  all  noble  impulse  to  the  wind  ;  but  his 
resolutions  once  formed  were  not  to  be  broken.  Her 
enjoyment  should  not  be  trammeled.  It  caused  him  a 
pang  when  he  thought  that  Fred.  Alton' might  have  fol 
lowed  Mrs.  Grey  and  won  her.  "  But  if  he  makes  her 
happy,  what  is  it  to  me?  It  might  about  as  well  be  him 
as  any  one  else.  If  he  is  only  trifling  with  her,  or  fails 
to  make  her  a  good  husband,  he  had  better  never  cross 
my  path." 

That  evening  before  Mrs.  Grey  retired  she  wrote  a  few 
lines  to  Miss  Green.  The  demand  for  that  admonitory 
speech  of  the  Deacon's  was  not  as  stringent  as  he  may 
have  supposed  it  to  be,  but  it  no  doubt  produced  some 
good  effect,  as  anything  so  well  meant  should.  Kach 
member  of  that  select  little  company,  the  Deacon's  hear 
ers,  had  cultivated  that  little  germ  chanty  (which  in  a 
crude  state  and  in  a  greater  or  less  degree  is  a  native  of 
every  human  heart)  until  they  had  coaxed  it  into  a 
hearty,  full-grown  plant,  and  it  shed  its  refreshing  influ 
ence  over  the  whole  area  of  its  habitation  and  every  act 
of  their  lives  was  tempered  thereby.  Hut  the-  writing  of 
this  letter,  no  doubt,  was  due  to  the  Deacon's  words. 

Mrs.  Grev  wrote  :     "  Miss  Green,  you  have  no  occasion 


362  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

to  fear  me.  I  assure  you  that  I  bear  you  no  ill  will.  It 
would  be  an  unworthy  creature,  indeed,  that  would  harbor 
a  spirit  of  resentment,  even  if  it  did  not  eat  as  a  canker 
into  the  heart  and  leave  us  the  greatest  sufferers  thereby. 
I  freely  forgive  as  I  hope  to  be  forgiven." 

The  kind-hearted  woman  hardly  knew  how  to  word  her 
letter,  lest  it  might  make  matters  worse  instead  of  better. 

"  You  can  easy  talk  about  forgiving,  my  good  lady, 
since  you  have  everything  and  I  have  nothing.  People 
who  are  happy  can  easy  talk,  while  the  rest  of  us  must 
drag  out  our  existence  as  best  we  can.  But  we  can  not 
well  do  it  without  coming  in  contact  with  the  rest  of  the 
world  sometimes.  If  we  do  have  cankers  at  our  hearts, 
who  cares?  There  is  not  one  in  a  dozen  who  would  not 
take  their  nails  and  scratch  the  sore  still  deeper,  then 
stand  off  and  wonder  at  the  result  as  if  it  had  not  been 
their  own  work." 

So  far  her  own  views  coincided  with  those  of  Deacon 
Hill,  that  she  was  as  much  sinned  against  as  sinning. 
Who  is  there  that  is  able  to  say  that  she  was  not?  In 
this  great  world  every  question  must  be  presented  to  us 
in  its  different  lights ;  and  even  then  who  is  there  among 
us  that  has  the  power  to  form  a  just  decision  ? 


CHAPTER  XXXVI. 

DOCTOR  ENOD'S  HOBBY. 

THE  ten  day's  leave  of  absence  that  had  been  granted 
Mrs.   Grey  was  soon  spent.     She  had  enjoyed   her 
visit,  but  was  now  rested:  and  since  the  time  had  come 
for  her  to  return  to  her  duties,  she  must  go.     She  declared 
that  she  now  needed  rest  from  rest,  and  so  she  went. 

Her  friends,  only  too  thankful  that  she  had  found  her 
life  work,  did  not  try  to  detain  her,  but  bade  her  God 
speed  instead;  and  many  were  the  good  wishes  that 
went  with  her. 

It  was  well  that  she  did  not  see  the  look  of  tender  long 
ing  that  came  for  a  moment  into  the  eyes  of  one,  when  he 
clasped  her  hand  at  parting,  or  it  would  have  robbed  her 
of  some  of  her  own  peaceful  pleasure.  But  the  man, 
true  to  his  manhood  and  his  strength,  held  his  secret  as 
being  too  sacred  for  human  eyes,  and  none  were  ever  the 
wiser. 

Mrs.  Ferris'  faith  in  the  disinterestedness  of  men  was 
somewhat  strengthened.  "  He  may,  after  all,  have  been 
thinking  of  her  good  alone  and  not  the  confirmation  of 
his  own  happiness.  I  am  afraid  that  such  cases  are  rare. 
But  she  is  worthy  of  such  a  regard  as  is  not  due  to  all 
mortals.  I  don't  suppose  that  she  had  an  unkind  thought 
for  any  of  her  old  tormentors,  and  there  is  not  one  in  a 
hundred  that  would  not  have  posed  more  or  less  as  an 
injured  person  and  a  martyr.  Instead  she  showed  the 
most  thoughtful  solicitude,  lest  through  her  the  thoughts 
of  their  own  faults  might  cause  them  uneasiness.  She 
could  not  help  finding  out  while  here  that  Miss  Green's 


364  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

story  was  partly  false,  but  she  had  not  a  word  of  blame  or 
resentment  for  even  her." 

"  If  Mrs.  Grey  had  let  those  people  see  that  they  pos 
sessed  a  power  over  her  to  wound,  they  would  have  for 
given  her  long  ago  for  being  a  better  woman  and  having 
more  friends  than  they.  But  if  the  foe  must  be  won  over 
by  giving  him  the  conquest,  he  could  not  prove  a  desir 
able  friend,  but  may  only  wait  a  favorable  opportunity  to 
strike  anew.  When  the  enemy  sees  that  even  his  best 
efforts  fail  to  subdue,  he  surely  should  have  the  principle 
to  acknowledge  defeat  and  retire  from  the  field  ;  but  the 
ignoble  foe  sees  only  the  fortress  (even  though  it  be 
erected  of  purity  and  its  God-given  strength)  and  recog 
nizes  in  it  only  an  impediment  to  victory,  and  his  forces 
of  offense  are  strengthened  within  him."  Mrs.  Ferris 
concluded  her  meditation  by  saying  to  herself,  "  I  am  glad 
that  she  is  far  enough  away  now  from  those  who  would 
have  torn  her  reputation  piecemeal,  if  for  no  other  reason 
than  to  ravish  their  eyes  upon  the,  to  them,  agreeable 
spectacle." 

As  the  train  neared  the  town,  where  she  had  stopped 
upon  two  previous  occasions,  the  first  time  the  saddest 
day  of  her  whole  life,  the  second  time  a  year  later  and  a 
year  ago  that  day,  the  conductor  told  her  that  she  would 
be  obliged  to  wait  an  hour  and  a  hall  for  her  train.  But 
instead  of  regarding  this  as  an  inconvenience,  Mrs.  Grey 
received  the  information  with  pleasure  and  soon  once 
again  stood  beside  her  husband's  grave. 

She  knelt  down  upon  the  beautiful  green  grass  and 
prayed.  She  prayed  that  the  Father  who  had  watched 
over  her  husband  and  taken  him  unto  himself,  would 
alike  be  her  stay,  and  that  she  would  never  be  led  to  for 
get  the  last  words  that  his  dear  lips  had  spoken,  "You 
will  meet  me  in  heaven,  I  feel  sure  of  that,  Mary." 


DOCTOR    KXOI/S    HOBBY.  365 

She  prayed  that  she  might,  by  the  grace  of  God,  be  able 
to  meet  him  in  that  better  world,  and  that  no  matter 
where  her  earthly  duties  and  earthly  needs  might  lead, 
she  would  always  be  able  to  conduct  herself  in  a  way 
that  would  not  wound  his  dear  heart  if  he  knew. 

She  arose  from  her  knees  with  a  look  which  showed 
that  her  petition  for  strength  had  not  been  in  vain.  She 
culled  the  dry  leaves  from  the  rose  bush,  which  she  had 
planted  just  a  year  ago.  This  had  grown  well  and  had 
two  tiny  buds.  "  One  for  me  and  one  for  Robert,"  she 
thought,  "and  since  I  will  soon  be  far  away  again,  I  will 
take  mine  with  me."  She  plucked  it  tenderly  and  placed 
it  into  a  receptacle  in  the  bosom  of  her  dress,  and  no 
human  eyes  but  her  own  ever  beheld  it  again.  It  was 
held  as  the  most  sacred  among  her  earthly  treasures. 

The  lily  also  had  grown  and  bid  fair  to  soon  shed  its 
beauty  and  fragrance  over  the  lonely  grave.  She  had 
purchased  enough  ground  to  admit  of  another  grave,  but 
she  was  destined  never  to  fill  the  place  by  his  side. 

"I  will  meet  you  in  heaven,  Robert,  and  we  will  know 
each  other  and  be  glad,"  she  said,  turning  away,  and  soon 
the  train  bore  her  on  toward  the  end  of  her  journey. 

The  patients  and  doctors  alike  were  glad  to  have  her 
back  at  the  hospital.  She  had  not  had  the  experience  of 
some  of  the  other  nurses,  but  since  training  is  too  often 
used  as  a  veil  to  conceal  a  want  of  skill,  her  lack  of  skill 
made  her  natural  ability  all  the  more  apparent.  I  Un 
hopeful  face  did  as  much  to  drive  away  despondency  as 
her  soft  hands  did  to  alleviate  pain.  The  doctors,  reali/- 
ing  the  efficacy  of  such  a  remedy,  would  rather  have 
parted  with  any  other  nurse:  but  they  were  destined 
soon  to  lose  her. 

Summer  and  autumn  passed  quickly.  Appreciated  by 
those  under  whom  her  position  was  held,  and  blessed  by 


366  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

those  who  had  the  good  fortune  to  come  under  her  care, 
she  asked  no  more.  But  as  fretting  and  longing  will 
never  bring  happiness  and  contentment,  but  will  more 
often  lessen  our  opportunities,  so  an  acquiescence  to  fate 
will  sometimes  insure  an  overflow  to-  those  who  expect 
least. 

As  time  went  on,  Mrs.  Grey  did  not  forget  her  humble 
friends,  but  found  many  opportunities  to  spend  an  hour 
or  two  with  Mrs.  Tinly.  There  was  a  time  approaching 
in  this  happy  little  wife's  life  when  she  was  in  need  of 
the  companionship  of  one  of  her  own  sex.  Her  husband 
was  all  and  even  more  than  she  could  ask,  and  his  tender 
ness  and  solicitude  was  unbounded,  but  she  was  in  need 
of  some  one  who  could  understand  her.  Although  a  man 
may  be  the  kindest  of  husbands  and  fathers,  he  can  never 
enter  into  the  intricacies  of  a  mother's  nature.  Mrs. 
Grey,  understanding  her  needs,  soon  spent  all  her  leisure 
time  at  her  happy  cottage,  much  to  the  joy  of  the  little 
woman. 

One  day  there  was  a  hurried  demand  for  Mrs.  Grey  at 
the  hospital.  No  one  else  knew  where  she  could  be 
found,  so  Dr.  Enod  (who  had  of  late  lent  such  valuable 
aid  that  one  of  the  hired  assistants  could  be  disposed  of) 
volunteered  to  go  for  her.  He  did  not  err  in  his  judg 
ment  when  he  sought  her  at  the  mechanic's  humble  home. 

"  She  is  truly  an  angel  of  mercy,"  he  thought.  "When 
she  is  with  the  proud,  she  meets  them  on  an  equal  foot 
ing;  but  here  she  is  as  simple  in  her  manner  as  if  she 
had  never  known  other  society.  If  some  of  those  whose 
wealth  and  position  blind  them  to  true  worth,  and  still 
want  to  monopolize  the  title  of  lady,  had  her  graces  and 
sweetness,  they  would  never  have  to  flee  to  the  time- 
honored  name  of  woman  as  to  a  retreat.  It  is  those  to 
whom  the  world  would  grant  the  title  that  have  depreci 
ated  its  value." 


DOCTOR    KXOD'S    HOIUiV.  367 

During  their  trip  back,  he  said:  "Would  you  like  to 
spend  a  few  weeks  with  your  old  friends?  They  are  the 
first  ones  you  found  in  this  city  of  struggles,  and  I  still 
cling  to  the  belief  (although  modern  custom  would  rule 
out  all  such  old  fashioned  sentiments)  that  our  old  friends 
have  the  first  claim  upon  us." 

"  I  would  be  so  glad  if  I  could,"  was  Mrs.  Grey's  an 
swer.  "  Mrs.  Tinly  is  so  far  away  from  home  and  friends. 
But  do  you  think  that  I  could  be  spared?  I  have  dreaded 
to  ask.  I  could  save  them  the  expense  of  a  nurse,  some 
thing  that  they  can  ill  afford." 

"Yes,  you  can  be  spared.  I  will  intercede  for  you. 
Those  benevolent  institutions  are  founded  with  a  view  of 
doing  a  kindly  office  for  any  who  may  come  under  their 
notice.  Surely  this  woman,  who  is  a  stranger  in  a  strange 
land,  has  need  of  a  friend  in  her  trials,  even  though  she 
is  not  an  object  of  charity.  But  do  you  mean  that  you 
would  do  this  free  of  charge?"  He  looked  at  her  as  if 
he  objected,  yet  hoped  that  she  would  merit  his  disap 
proval. 

"I  do  not  feel  that  I  would  be  working  for  nothing,. for 
I  have  been  more  than  paid  in  advance.  vShe  would  not 
allow  me  to  come  with  such  an  understanding,  I  know, 
so  I  will  tell  her  that  I  need  a  few  week's  rest,  and  if  she 
does  not  charge  too  high  board  I  would  like  to  spend 
the  time  with  her.  I  can  hide  my  true  mission  and  come 
into  the  place  of  nurse  so  naturally  that  she  could  not 
object." 

"  If  the  world  contained  more  women  like  you,  we 
could  not  fail  to  be  a  happier  people." 

"Oh,  no,"  she  said  quickly,  "do  not  praise  me.  I  have 
done  so  little  real  good,  that  I  would  have  to  exert  myself 
to  the  uttermost  to  the  end  of  my  life  to  be  worthy  <>i 
such  an  opinion." 


368  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

"Your  own  humble  opinion  of  self  is  the  result  of 
being  reared  in  the  country,  away  from  the  jealousy  of 
the  great  unthinking  masses,  where  each  one  must  make 
the  most  of  every  worthy  act,  however  small,  or  be 
eclipsed  by  some  more  pretentious  contestant.  But  with 
most  of  them  doing  good  is  a  secondary  matter,  if  not 
entirely  forgotten.  Their  best  efforts  are  put  forth  to 
avoid  being  outdone  in  matters  of  dress  and  appearance, 
and  this  is  no  light  struggle,  I  assure  you. 

"I  can  not  see  why  a  man,  who  wishes  to  bring  up  his 
girls  to  a  noble  type  of  womanhood,  should  object  to  the 
country  as  a  home.  There  is  an  innate  modesty,  a  self 
respect  and  over  all  a  heart  throbbing  for  humanity  in 
the  intelligent  country  bred  young  lady,  which  are 
crowded  out  of  the  existence  of  the  city  girl  before  she 
has  reached  the  long  dress  period,  for  they  are  taught  by 
example  and  by  pretext  that  a  faultless  attire  and  a  certain 
manner,  no  matter  how  artificial  and  affected  this  may  be, 
are  her  predominant  requirements.  This  is  not  only  a 
waste  of  the  freshest  years  of  their  lives,  but  it  totally 
unfits  them  for  either  a  thorough  cultivation  of  the  in 
tellect  or  a  useful  life. 

"If  I  understand  God's  great  plan,  our  bodies  \vere 
given  us  only  as  an  abiding  place  and  a  fit  protection  for 
our  brains  and  hearts,  which  in  turn  are  entrusted  with 
our  spirits  or  souls.  But  instead  of  training  our  bodies 
to  do  the  bidding  of  the  best  impulse  of  our  souls,  our 
souls  are  enslaved,  crushed  out  in  decking  and  bringing 
our  poor  bodies  into  prominence.  Some  people  would 
almost  barter  their  inheritance  to  the  better  world  for  the 
sake  of  appearance.  Under  the  pure  air  of  heaven,  the 
character  has  an  opportunity  to  grow  and  strengthen 
without  being  warped  and  trammeled  by  its  fellows." 

"Yes,  but  you  will  acknowledge,"  said  his  companion, 


DOCTOR    KXOn'S    HOHI'.V.  369 

"  that  city  people  think  it  necessary  that  a  country  bred' 
person  should  undergo  a  new  process  of  creation  before 
they  are  admissible  into  their  society.  And  then  this 
very  spirit  of  independence  and  self  respect,  that  \ve  are 
born  with  and  permitted  to  foster,  makes  it  all  the  worse 
for  the  country  girl,  for  she  is  satisfied  in  the  belief  that 
she  is  inferior  to  none.  She  is  taught  in  the  Bible  that 
she  was  created  by  the  same  God  and  redeemed  by  the 
same  Christ.  She  is  constantly  under  the  ennobling  in 
fluences  of  the  Creator's  works,  and  is  inspired  by  the 
whisperings  of  nature.  She  feels  that  she  is  a  freeman 
born  and  that  no  one  has  a  right  to  rob  her  of  her  birth 
right.  Then  when  they  drift  into  the  city,  as  many  are 
obliged  to  do,  in  search  of  employment,  they  are  entirely 
unfitted  for  the  life.  They  will  either  rebel  at  the  assumed 
superiority  of  those  who  might  not  even  have  been  as 
well  brought  up  as  they  themselves,  or  else  have  their 
self  respect  crushed  out  by  the  coldness  and  indifference 
of  those  with  whom  they  come  in  contact,  and  their  down 
fall  is  certain. 

"Oh,"  she  went  on,  "  if  I  could  only  warn  every  coun 
try  girl,  who  was  reared  in  a  home  of  love,  no  matter  how 
humble,  to  remain  in  contentment  in  its  seclusion,  rather 
than  try  the  strange  ways  of  a  city,  how  many  less  cries 
from  the  depths  of  lost  souls  would  be  daily  and  hourly 
ascending  to  heaven." 

"Yes,"  said  Doctor  Knod ;  "  some  simpering  city  peo 
ple  think  that  those  from  the  country  should  undergo  a 
new  birth  before  they  are  fit  for  their  august  presence, 
while  if  they  had  the  depth  of  character  to  appreciate 
them  they  could  learn  from  them  such  a  lesson  of  lolly 
thought  and  noble  aim  as  would  more  than  compensate 
for  the  drill  in  the  forms  of  city  life.  Things  which  the 
average  countrv  girl,  if  she  has  not  already  imbibed  too 


37O  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

much  good  sense,  could  learn  in  a  few  weeks  at  farthest. 

"  You  may  regard  me  as  an  enthusiast  on  the  subject 
of  dress  reform,  and  as  such  apt  to  overrate  the  import  of 
my  hobby,  but  I  see  so  many,  both  men  and  women, 
decked  out  in  such  splendor,  that  I  am  forced  to  wonder 
if  the  meager  soul  beneath  could  be  worth  one  half  of 
the  cost  of  the  attire  in  the  pure  eyes  of  God.  I  see  no 
harm  in  looking  well,  but  it  should  never  be  at  the  sacri 
fice  of  worthier  objects. 

"  Yes,  if  you  could  sound  such  a  warning  as  you  spoke 
of  there  could  not  fail  to  be  joy  in  heaven  over  the  re 
sult,  even  if  some  indolent  people  were  obliged  to  exert 
themselves  for  their  own  comfort.  As  I  have  said  be 
fore,  my  profession  gives  me  an  insight  into  many  lives 
and  homes,  and  I  see  things  which  would  otherwise  be 
unknown  to  me.  I  have  noticed  the  change  of  servants 
in  some  elegantly  furnished  homes  owned  by  people  of 
ordinary  and  sometimes  inferior  intelligence,  and  when 
by  the  tap  of  a  silver  bell  the  new  girl  was  summoned 
into  our  presence,  she  would  come  in  with  a  timidity 
wholly  out  of  keeping  with  the  quiet  dignity  stamped 
upon  her  innocent  features.  Even  a  casual  observer 
could  see  that  the  shrinking  was  not  that  of  a  dependent 
or  inferior  soul,  but  caused  by  her  first  introduction  into 
so  much  splendor  and  coldness,  and  that  her  innermost 
soul  was  crying  out  for  a  little  of  the  love  and  sympathy 
to  which  she  had  been  accustomed — something  to  fill 
the  void  caused  by  the  separation  from  all  that  is  dear  to 
her.  This  being  denied  her,  she  sets  her  face  stolidly 
against  fate  until  her  heart  is  starved  and  life  becomes 
intolerable.  Then  when  she  can  hold  out  no  longer  she 
seeks  companionship  where  it  can  be  found. 

"  I  have  heard  it  said  that  the  downfall  of  a  country 
girl  is  almost  certain  in  a  large  city,  and  the  general 


DOCTOR    RXOD'S    HOHHV.  371 

verdict  is  that  the}"  are  too  easily  bewildered  by  so  much 
grandeur;  but  any  one  who  gives  human  nature  a 
second  thought  knows  this  to  be  false.  It  is  because  life 
to  them  has  been  robbed  of  its  dignity,  and  they  have 
not  acquired  the  fortitude  of  those  who  have  always  been 
driven  from  '  pillar  to  post/ 

"  In  her  new  quarters  the  independent  young  farmer, 
or  the  self-respecting  country  school  teacher,  who  was 
wont  to  pass  his  leisure  time  in  her  society,  will  probably 
come  to  see  her  a  few  times  at  long  intervals,  and  then 
cease  his  attentions  entirely.  t  Then  the  poor  girl,  who  is 
forced  by  necessity  to  occupy  a  position  which  is  perfectly 
odious  to  her,  and  lowers  her  in  the  eyes  of  her  former 
friends,  finds  herself  sinking  lower  and  lower  in  her  own 
estimation,  and  the  result  is  inevitable.  And  all  this 
time  people  are  organizing  societies  for  the  uplifting  of 
humanity,  and  praying  for  the  Lord  to  undo  the  result  of 
the  wrongs  which  they  are  wilfully  committing.  '  Verily 
all  that  cry,  Lord,  Lord,  shall  not  enter  into  the  king 
dom.'  " 

"  When  I  think  of  all  those  things,"  said  Mary  Grey, 
"  I  am  impatient  for  strength.  Oh,  if  I  had  the  power  of 
an  army,  I  would  gladly  expend  it  all  in  helping  woman 
kind  to  retain  her  purity.  But  what  can  one  puny  wo 
man  do  against  what  is  countenanced  and  sanctioned  by 
the  multitudes  ?" 

"  I  have  seen  people,"  said  Doctor  ICnod,  "and  strong 
ones,  too,  who  lost  what  natural  strength  they  possessed 
by  undue  anxiety;  and  I  will  insure  one  little  woman 
in  particular  that  worry  will  only  cause  her  own  unhap- 
piness  and  do  others  no  good. 

"You  did  not  know  that  I  am  gifted  with  the  spirit  of 
prophecy,"  he  went  on,  assuming  a  lighter  tone  as  they 
drove  through  the  hospital  gates.  "  I  see  a  certain  xeal- 


372  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

ous,  kind-hearted  lady,  enjoying  all  the  opportunities 
that  she  has  so  desired,  and  with  wealth  at  her  command 
she  is  going  about  doing  good.  She  is  not  one  of  the 
kind  that  long  for  such  opportunities  until  they  have 
been  granted  them,  and  then  forget  all  about  their  good 
resolves,  but  she  is  going  nobly  on  executing  the  plans 
which  have  so  long  been  formed  in  her  busy  brain.  She 
does  not  seek  the  approval  of  men,  nor  the  rewards  of 
earth,  but  is  hoping  only  to  hear  that  welcome  approba 
tion  that  our  heavenly  Father  has  in  store  for  the  finally 
faithful,  and  as  a  reward  a  home  with  God  and  the 
angels." 

He  had  been  looking  straight  before  him  as  if  in  space 
he  beheld  the  decrees  of  fate,  but  now  he  turned  his  gaze 
full  upon  her  face.  "  Mrs.  Grey,  behold  in  yourself  the 
object  of  my  visions.  I  hope  that  for  once  I  have 
not  erred  in  penetrating  the  future."  He  had  again 
drifted  into  serious  tones.  She  looked  up  in  time  to  note 
the  earnest  look  in  his  eyes  as  they  were  bent  upon  her, 
and  for  the  first  time  she  could  not  meet  his  gaze;  for 
the  first  time  her  tongue  refused  to  perform  its  accustom 
ed  office,  and  the  words  of  appreciation,  which  would  have 
arisen  to  her  lips,  did  not  find  utterance,  and  she  left  him 
with  a  simple  "  I  thank  you,"  and  went  in  through  the 
hospital  doors. 

Mrs.  Grey  did  not  again  see  the  doctor  for  several  days, 
then  came  an  official  letter  from  the  superintendent  say 
ing  that  if  Mrs.  Grey  so  desired  she  could  be  spared  for 
a  few  weeks.  Nor  did  she  see  her  friend  before  she  left, 
and  she  wanted  to  thank  him  for  his  interest  in  her  be 
half.  She  could  not  rid  herself  of  a  slight  feeling  of 
disappointment.  His  manner  toward  her  the  last  time 
the}7  were  together  had  filled  her  heart  with  a  shy  pleas 
ure;  and  as  the  budding  spring  arouses  a  glad  and  joy- 


DOCTOR    KXOI)  S    HOBBY.  373 

ous  expectation  of  its  termination,  summer,  so  the  human 
heart,  alter  it  has  once  been  wanned  by  a  ray  of  happiness, 
can  only  find  the  realization  of  contentment  in  a  flood  of 
light. 

Mrs.  Tinly  was  no  less  pleased  than  surprised  when 
Mrs.  Gray  walked  unexpectedly  in,  announcing  her  in 
tention  to  remain  with  her.  "  I  need  a  change,"  she- 
said,  "  and  I  would  rather  come  to  you  than  go  anywhere 
else.  I  do  not  need  rest,  only  a  change,"  she  went  on, 
checking  the  remonstrance  that  would  have  arisen  to  her 
friend's  lips. 

The  woman  was  too  well  pleased  to  raise  any  further 
objections,  so  the  matter  was  settled.  When  the  young 
husband  came  home  in  the  evening  he  was  overjoyed  to 
find  his  beloved  wife  in  such  good  hands.  "  I  can  now 
<ro  about  mv  work  and  feel  as  well  satisfied  as  if  I  was 

O 

with  Lucy  myself,"  he  said  gratefully. 


CHAPTER  XXXVII. 

NAMING    THE    BABY. 

IT  was  now  ten  days  since  Mrs.  Grey  came  to  the  home 
of  her  friend.  Little  Mary  was  just  one  week  old,  and 
had  been  named  on  the  very  eve  of  her  birth.  "  I  will 
name  her  for  you,"  said  the  mother  to  Mrs.  Grey,  after 
pressing  her  new-found  joy  to  her  heart.  And  any  one 
who  could  have  looked  into  the  depth  of  her  mother's 
heart  could  not  have  failed  to  see  that  she  was  indeed 
conferring  an  honor  upon  Mrs.  Grey.  This  simple  token 
of  appreciation  meant  much  to  that  lady,  knowing  that  it 
was  caused  by  the  gratitude  that  flooded  the  whole  being 
of  the  thankful  woman. 

"  Don't  you  think  that  she  should  have  a  double  name?" 
said  Mr.  Tinly,  a  look  of  concern  coming  over  his  face, 
which  was  continually  brimming  over  with  smiles. 

"  I  found  the  first,  you  may  add  the  middle  name,"  an 
swered  the  wife ;  "  but  you  must  not  want  to  call  her 
anything  that  would  spoil  the  sound  of  my  choice,  Mar}-." 

"  I  am  going  to  give  her  a  name  that  would  sound  well 
with  any  other,  to  my  ears,"  was  the  fond  husband's  reply. 
"  Now  can  you  guess  what  it  is  ?  " 

"  How  could  I  guess?  I  never  heard  you  speak  of  any 
name." 

"  My  preference  for  this  one  goes  without  saying.  We 
will  call  her  Mary  Louisa." 

A  happy  laugh  \vas  all  that  greeted  this  announcement, 
and  the  little  mite  of  humanity  was  named  and  in  due 
time  christened  Mary  Louisa,  Mar}'  Grey  acting  as  god 
mother  for  her  little  namesake. 

She  was  a  week  old  now,  and,  the  proud  young  mother 
(374) 


XAMINV,    TIIK    HAHY. 


375 


declared,  was  beginning  to  notice  things.  What  if  her 
love  did  furnish  some  of  the  wonders  about  the  little 
form  ? — it  was  truth  to  her.  Who  would  have  the  hardi 
hood  to  dispel  a  parent's  happy  delusions  about  the  won 
ders  of  a  first-born  babe  ? 

But  the  little  stranger  was  no  less  a  wonder  to  the  other 
two  members  of  the  little  household.  The  father  was 
almost  womanly  in  his  tender  care  for  his  little  daughter, 
and  would  want  to  hold  her  by  the  hour,  and  cared  only 
to  peer  into  her  innocent  face.  It  was  with  reluctance 
that  he  tore  himself  awav  to  go  to  his  work,  not  carin<r 

o 

to  leave  for  a  whole  day  the  little  home  which  contained 
so  much  happiness.  Mary  Grey  entered  fully  into  the 
pride,  love,  and  joy  of  the  parents  over  their  babe,  and 
the  three  vied  with  each  other  in  lavishing  care  and  affec 
tion  upon  her.  The  child  had  indeed  been  born  into  a 
happy  world — happy  as  far  as  human  love  could  insure. 

After  the  mother  had  again  regained  her  usual  strength 
Mrs.  (/rev  returned  to  her  regular  duties,  but  found  time- 
to  go  to  see  her  little  namesake  twice  a  week.  She  was 
becoming  so  tenderly  attached  to  the  little  thing  that  she 
would  like  to  have  kept  it  with  her  always.  It  grew  and 
brightened  so  that  even  others  besides  the  mother  could 
see  that  she  was  beginning  to  "notice  things."  The  smiles 
of  her  baby  lips  and  the  sound  of  her  soft  cooing  were 
the  sweetest  sights  and  sounds  to  three  loving  hearts,  and 
new  delights  and  wonders  were  developing  under  their 
very  eyes  every  day. 

One  da}',  as  the  holidays  were  approaching,  an  injured 
man  was  brought  to  the  hospital.  There  had  been  a  run 
away,  and  the  occupant  of  the  carriage  had  been  thrown 
against  the  curbstone  near  the  hospital  gates.  Dr.  Knod. 
who  had  not  been  at  the  place  much  lately,  owing  to  the 
demands  of  his  practice,  had  just  arrived  in  time  to  help 


376  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

carry  the  insensible  man  into  the  building.  He  beckoned 
to  Mrs.  Grey. 

"  If  you  are  equal  to  the  task,  we  will  attend  to  this 
man.  His  injuries  must  be  internal,"  he  went  on,  as  he 
examined  the  unconscious  man.  "  There  seems  to  be  no 
bones  broken,  and  he  only  has  a  few  bruises  and  slight 
cuts."  These  seemed  to  be  mostly  about  the  head  and 
neck ;  his  face  had  escaped,  but  was  deathlike  in  its  mar 
ble  whiteness. 

Mrs.  Grey  did  not  need  a  second  look  into  the  man's 
face  to  see  who  he  was.  It  was  Fred.  Alton  that  lay  be 
fore  her  in  the  stillness  of  death.  His  hair  was  plentifully 
sprinkled  with  gray,  and  his  form  had  lost  much  of  its 
healthful  ruggedness,  but  she  could  not  long  mistake  the 
face. 

"  He  is  an  old  acquaintance  of  mine,  Dr.  Enod,"  she 
said. 

She  was  standing  beside  the  cot,  helping  to  bind  his 
bruised  head,  when  he  opened  his  eyes,  and  as  they  fell 
full  upon  her  a  look  of  recognition  lighted  up  his  features. 
"  Mrs.  Grey,"  he  said,  faintly.  Then  he  threw  his  hand 
to  his  head,  saying,  "  Oh,  my  head  !  "  but  he  quickly  ex 
tended  the  other  toward  her,  saying  in  a  pleading  tone  : 
"  Do  not  leave  me.  Promise  that  you  will  stay  by  me." 
Before  he  had  hardly  formed  the  last  words  of  his  entreaty 
he  had  again  lost  consciousness. 

"  If  you  so  desire,  I  will  see  to  it  that  you  are  allowed 
to  nurse  him,  Mrs.  Grey,"  said  Dr.  Enod.  "  Do  you  care 
to  do  so? " 

"  How  could  I  do  otherwise?  "  was  her  reply. 

As  heretofore,  Mrs.  Grey's  wish  had  only  to  be  made 
known  to  be^granted.  The  doctor  soon  returned  from 
the  superintendent,  saying:  "You  may  consider  him 
your  charge." 


NAMING    THK    HAHY.  377 

Mrs.  Grey  hastily  penned  a  few  lines  to  Mrs.  Tinly, 
telling  her  that  she  would  not  see  her  for  some  time. 
Then  she  wrote  at  greater  length  to  Mrs.  Ferris.  She 
told  her  of  the  accident,  but  that  she  need  have  no  fear ; 
that  she  was  to  nurse  the  brother  herself,  and  concluded 
by  saying,  "  As  long  as  you  receive  no  telegram,  rest 
assured  that  there  is  no  danger." 

Fred.  Alton  did  not  again  regain  consciousness  for 
weeks.  His  injuries  were  concussion  of  the  brain,  which 
resulted  in  fever.  Fie  talked  very  little  in  his  delirium. 
Mrs.  Grey,  who  was  seldom  from  his  side,  heard  him 
speak  her  name  and  that  of  his  wife.  To  the  latter  he 
used  the  old  tender  tones.  He  would  say,  as  if  in  entreaty: 
"  I  have  never  given  you  cause  for  sorrow,  have  I,  dear? 
I  have  always  been  kind  to  you,  have  I  not?"  and  he 
would  put  out  his  hand  as  if  to  stroke  her  hair.  At  such 
times  the  listener's  heart  was  touched.  "  I  will  take  care 
of  him  for  her  sake." 

Then  he  would  speak  of  her  and  bemoan  the  fate  that 
separated  them.  "  vShe  would  not  need  to  have  run  away 
from  me  as  from  a  leper:  I  meant  to  marry  her  in  the  end. 
\Ve  would  have  been  happy,  and  all  would  have  been 
atoned  for."  At  such  times  she  would  shrink  from  him. 
"  All  would  have  been  atoned  for,"  she  said  to  herself. 
"  Oh,  how  thankful  I  am  that  I  am  such  a  happy,  care 
free  woman  today  !  " 

One  day  he  was  talking  more  than  usual.  Dr.  Fund 
came  into  the  room  in  time  to  hear  him  say:  "  It  I  had 
had  a  sturdy  little  body  like  Mrs.  Grey  to  walk  by  niv 
side,  how  different  my  journey  through  this  life  might 
have  been." 

The  doctor  looked  up  at  Mrs.  Grey  quickly,  but  could 
see  no  confusion  or  embarrassment,  only  the  deepest  pity 
for  the  man  before  her.  "  Whatever  might  have  been 


378  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

between  them,  she  has  nothing  to  regret,"  was  his  mental 
conclusion.  "Will  you  tell  me  some  time?"  he  asked, 
turning  a  look  of  full  confidence  and  trust  upon  her. 

"  I  will  tell  you  all  there  is  to  know  now,"  was  her 
answer.  "He  is  the  brother  of  Mrs.  Ferris,  the  lad}'  that 
I  visited  last  spring;  the  one  who  gave  me  a  home  after 
the  death  of  my  husband.  He  is  the  gentleman  who 
secured  me  the  position  to  distribute  the  charity  fund. 
After  the  death  of  his  wife,  he  made  me  an  offer  of  mar 
riage,  that  is  all." 

"Only  one  more  question.  You  did  not  accept  him, 
did  you?" 

"No,  I  did  not  accept  him." 

But  the  man  was  still  unsatisfied.  "I  am  going  to  ask 
another  question.  Are  you  sorry  ?  Would  you  accept 
him  now?  " 

"  No,  I  am  not  sorry  that  I  did  not  accept  him,  nor 
would  I  do  so  now." 

"Thank  you,"  he  said;  "that  is  all  that  I  wanted  to 
know." 

But  one  evening  a  few  days  later,  he  asked  for  her  in 
the  parlor.  "You  may  goto  Mrs.  Grey's  patient  for  a 
time,"  he  said  to  one  of  the  attendants.  "  She  has  been 
too  closely  confined  to  that  room."  Mary  Grey  came 
dutifully  in  answer  to  his  summons.  It  was  early  in  the 
evening,  and  the  lamps  had  not  yet  been  lighted. 

"  Thank  you  for  coming,"  he  said.  He  put  out  his 
hand,  she  placed  her's  into  it  with  a  rosy  blush,  which 
was  visible  even  in  the  uncertain  light. 

"  I  told  you  the  other  day  that  you  had  answered  all 
the  questions  that  I  cared  to  ask.  I  have  many  more  to 
ask,  but  will  be  content  with  one  just  now — Mrs.  Grey 
will  you  marry  me?  Answer  as  promptly  as  you  did 
before,  but  answer  Yes,"  he  said,  drawing  her  toward  him, 
and  winding  his  arm  about  her  waist. 


NAMING    THE    BABY. 


379 


"  Yes,"  she  answered,  without  hesitation. 

"  Now  I  want  to  hear  you  say  yes  once  more,  then  I 
will  be  satisfied.  Do  you  love  me  ?  "  The  answer  came 
"Yes"  in  the  same  decisive  tone.  His  arm  tightened 
about  her  waist  and  their  lips  met  in  a  lover's  kiss. 

"I  have  many  more  things  to  say  to  you,  but  have  no 
time  to  do  so  now.  Would  you  like  to  take  a  drive  this 
evening,  down  to  see  Mrs.  Tinly?  You  have  not  been 
there  for  some  time." 

"Yes,  I  would  be  pleased  to  go,"  was  her  glad  answer. 

"Thank  you,"  he  said.  "Now  I  must  hurry  and  at 
tend  to  my  patients,  or  it  will  be  too  late  to  drive  out." 
As  he  hurried  away,  he  said:  "Get  your  hat  and  shawl : 
I  will  be  ready  in  just  fifteen  minutes." 

"What  a  noble  man,"  thought  Mary  Grey.  "God  is 
indeed  good  to  me."  She  hurried  to  her  patient's  room. 
He  was  lying  just  as  she  had  left  him,  and  was  still  sleep 
ing.  The  woman  agreed  readily  to  remain  a  few  hours 
longer,  saying:  "  A  drive  in  the  open  air  will  do  you  good 
after  so  much  confinement." 

The  man  drove  along  a  street,  away  from  the  glare  and 
noise  of  the  city.  He  drove  slow  so  as  to  gain  time  for 
his  story.  It  was  a  beautiful  evening,  clear  and  bright 
and  warm  as  spring,  although  it  was  the  middle  of  Decem 
ber.  Here  he  told  her  how  he  had  been  interested  in  her 
from  the  first.  He  did  not  say  much  about  this,  not 
caring  to  recall  the  circumstances  under  which  lie  met 
her.  Then  he  told  her  how  this  interest  soon  grew  into 
love,  but  that  he  did  not  care  to  tell  her  of  it  until  there 
was  some  hope  that  his  love  was  returned,  and  that  he 
had  felt  safe  to  let  things  drift  along  while  there  was  no 
one  to  come  into  the  way. 

"  Hut  I  wanted  to  secure  you  'before  that  hand.-ome 
fellow  at  the  hospital  came  to  his  senses.  Forgive  me, 


380  HE   WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

little  one,"  he  continued,  "but  you  know  where  there  is 
love  there  is  also  a  certain  degree  of  jealousy.  Now  we 
will  plan  for  the  future.  How  many  plans  have  you  to 
propose?|JA  number  of  them  I  will  warrant." 

"I  would  first  like  to  remain  at  the  hospital  until  Mr. 
Alton  is  better." 

"But  that  would  put  our  wedding  off  too  long  and  I 
am  impatient.  It  will  take  you  several  weeks  to  get 
ready.  You  will  want  some  new  frocks  and  gowns.  I 
will  want  my  little  wife  to  look  nice,  because  I  know  that 
finer}'  will  never  harden  her  heart.  See,  my  prophesy  is 
soon  to  be  fulfilled.  You  are  to  have  all  the  money  you 
want  to  carry  on  your  good  work;  then  you  will  be 
happy." 

"How  could  I  be  otherwise?"  was  her  happy  answer. 
"I  will  go  to  Mrs.  Tinly's  to  make  what  preparations  are 
necessary.  I  will  tell  her  this  evening." 

"  Not  this  evening,  dear.  See,  we  are  back  to  the  hos 
pital  gates.  We  do  not  care  to  see  any  one  only  each 
other  tonight.  You  can  go  and  tell  her  in  the  morning. 
I  only  wanted  to  have  you  to  myself  for  an  hour.  Re 
member,"  he  said  at  parting,  "that  I  am  to  see  you  as 
much  as  possible.  I  am  so  glad  that  I  am  rich,  that  I 
can  gratify  your  every  wish.  All  that  you  will  have  to 
do  will  be  to  follow  your  own  inclinations  and  be  happy, 
and  in  return  be  my  own  true,  loving  little  wife." 

When  Mrs.  Grey  returned  to  her  patient's  room,  she 
was  met  at  the  door  by  the  nurse  who  told  her  that  he 
was  conscious.  He  had  gained  consciousness  directly 
after  she  had  gone  from  the  room.  The  doctor  had  been 
there  and  pronounced  the  symptoms  favorable,  and  that 
from  now  on  everything  depended  upon  nursing  and 
quiet.  "  The  moment  he  opened  his  eyes,"  continued 
the  woman,  "  he  made  an  attempt  to  look  about  the 


NAMING    THE    BABY.  ->Sl 

room,  as  if  in  search  of  some  one,  but  has  as  yet  said 
nothing." 

Mrs.  Grey  went  quietly  in  and  stood  beside  the  bed. 
The  man  before  her  looked  nearer  death's  door  than  he 
did  during  his  delirium.  The  fever  had  left  him  almost 
powerless  to  move,  and  his  eyes  were  closed  as  if  in  sleep. 
Mrs.  Grey  had  hoped  that  she  might  enter  without  his 
noting  the  change,  but  in  that  frame  that  was  hanging 
over  the  very  jaws  of  death  in  its  weakness,  the  senses 
seemed  keenly  on  the  alert,  and  soft  as  her  movements 
were  he  noticed  the  stin  He  opened  his  eyes,  and  in 
them  she  at  once  saw  reason  and  recognition.  He  made 
as  if  to  raise  his  hand,  but  the  attempt  scarcely  produced 
a  stir  of  the  fingers. 

Man-  Grey  laid  her  own  plump  hand,  thrilling  with 
life  and  health,  upon  his  almost  lifeless  one.  His  lips 
moved  as  if  to  speak  ;  she  bowed  her  head,  and  he^faintly 
whispered,  "  Mrs.  Grey,  I  was  afraid  that  you  had  left 
me."  And  for  all  this  world  contained  the  listener  would 
not  have  denied  him  the  happiness  that  brought  that 
smile  of  perfect  contentment  to  his  lips,  as  he  closed  his 
eyes  and  lay  as  one  dead. 

The  watcher  by  his  side  was  afraid  to  remove  her  hand 
lest  the  movement  should  again  disturb  him,  and  she 
knew  that  his  life  was  hanging  in  a  balance,  and  that  the 
added  weight  of  a  hair  would  make  the  side  of  life  go 
down.  She  stood  as  if  to  infuse  his  cold  hand  with  some 
of  her  own  warmth,  until  he  dropped  into  a  refreshing 
sleep,  then  seated  herself  on  a  chair  beside  the  bed. 

The  patient  slept  soundly  all  night,  and  the  next  morn 
ing  seemed  stronger.  When  his  eyes  opened  they  fell 
upon  his  nurse,  and  the  same  look  of  peaceful  content 
ment  came  over  his  face,  and  from  this  time  Mrs.  Grey 
could  not  be  lured  from  her  post.  Her  lover  demurred. 


382  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

but  she  was  firm.  "  My  duty  is  by  my  patient  until  he 
is  out  of  danger.  You  would  not  have  me  shirk  my  duty, 
would  you?" 

"  No  dear,"  was  his  answer,  "  at  least  not  unless  it 
kept  you  away  from  me.  We  middle-aged  people  have 
even  less  patience  than  the  young  in  such  matters,  and 
it  is  a  little  hard  to  have  to  be  satisfied  with  only  a  word 
now  and  then."  But  satisfied  he  had  to  be. 

Fred.  Alton  continued  to  grow  stronger,  and  in  a  week's 
time  he  was  allowed  to  talk  and  sit  up  a  few  moments  at 
a  time.  "  It  is  only  a  few  days  until  Christmas  now,"  he 
said  to  Mrs.  Grey  one  day.  "  Do  you  think  that  I  will  be 
strong  enough  to  eat  dinner  with  the  rest  of  you  then  ?" 

"  I  hope  so,"  was  her  answer,  "  and  if  you  are  not,  I 
will  come  and  eat  with  you.  You  shall  not  be  left  alone, 
rest  assured." 

"As  kind  and  thoughtful  as  ever,  little  nurse,"  he  said. 
He  seemed  more  cheerful  and  impatient  for  Christmas  to 
come.  "  I  do  not  believe  that  I  will  be  able  to  go  down," 
he  said  to  her  several  times,  "  and  remember  I  hold  you 
to  your  promise." 

"  I  never  make  any  promises  that  I  am  not  willing  to 
be  held  to,"  was  her  answer.  "The  only  thing  that 
causes  me  any  uneasiness  is,  that  I,  as  your  nurse,  will 
be  held  responsible  for  the  amount  that  you  eat,  and  I 
may  not  be  able  to  manage  you  without  some  assistance." 

"Without  Dr.  Enod,  you  mean.  Only  dispense  with 
his  company,  and  I  will  promise  the  strictest  obedience," 
he  answered  pettishly.  Mrs.  Grey  made  him  no  reply 
and  pretended  not  to  hear. 

True  to  her  word,  on  Christmas  day  Mrs.  Grey  had  a 
table  set  for  two  in  Mr.  Alton's  room.  It  was  as  appetiz 
ing  as  care  and  good  taste  could  make  it.  The  signs  of 
sickness  had  all  been  removed.  The  cot  had  been  folded 


NAMING    THE    BABY.  383 

and  placed  in  a  closet,  and  a  large  easy  chair  filled  its 
place.  A  pot  of  blooming  geraniums  had  taken  the  place 
of  the  medicine  bottles  on  the  stand,  and  a  bouquet  of 
cut  flowers  was  placed  upon  the  center  of  the  table. 

"  I  was  not  strong  enough  to  go  down  to  dinner,  but  I 
am  going  to  talk  as  much  as  I  please,"  said  Fred.  Alton 
in  his  old  boyish  fashion. 

"  Yes,  if  you  do  not  please  to  talk  too  much.  Von 
must  not  weary  yourself,  and  you  know  that  you  have 
promised  strict  obedience." 

"  I  only  promised  to  consult  you  as  to  the  amount  of 
turkey  and  mince  pie  that  it  would  be  prudent  to  eat.  I 
did  not  even  mention  talking,  and  I  might  as  well  die 
from  excitement  as  suspense.  Mrs.  Grey,  do  you  think 
that  T  have  no  conscience?  Do  you  think  that  it  has 
caused  me  no  remorse  to  lay  here,  the  helpless  recipient 
of  your  kindness  and  care,  knowing  that  I  had  wronged 
you?  In  all  my  delirium  I  had  not  forgotten' who  bent 
over  me  when  I  regained  consciousness  on  the  day  that 
I  was  hurt,  because  when  I  came  to  myself  after  the  fever 
was  over,  I  fully  expected  to  see  you.  I  think  that  it  was 
your  face  that  called  me  back  to  life.  Answer  me  one 
question,  did  you  do  it  all  from  a  sense  of  duty  alone,  or 
have  you  forgiven  me?  It  will  do  me  less  harm  to  an 
swer  me,  here  and  now,  than  to  have  things  to  go  on.  I 
admit  the  wrong.  I  fell  in  love  with  you  while  my  wite 
was  yet  alive.  Oh,  that  we  should  be  cursed  with  such 
weakness!  But  I  never  changed  toward  my  wite,  and 
she  died  believing  me  true.  I  knew  all  the  time  that  she 
would  only  live  a  short  time,  and  that  all  would  come 
right  in  the  end.  Can  you  not  forgive  me  the  weaknes.- 
that  caused  me  to  forget  myself" 

Mrs.  Grey  hardly  knew  how  to  answer,  but  she  saw 
the  fever  spots  deepen  in  his  hollow  cheeks,  and  answer 


384  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

she  must.  She  knew  that  he  could  bear  it  better  now 
than  to  be  put  off.  Then  she  began  in  kindly  tones :  "I 
cared  for  you  from  a  sense  of  duty,  my  duty  toward  a  suf 
fering  human  being  and  the  brother  of  my  best  friend ; 
but  I  have  also  forgiven  you  long  ago." 

"Yes,"  he  said  almost  impatiently;  "  it  is  your  nature 
to  forgive,  but  can  you  give  me  what  I  would  almost 
have  forfeited  my  soul  to  win,  your  love?  Will  you 
marry  me?  I  am  wealthy  and  together  we  will  devote 
our  lives  to  good  works,  and  by  so  doing  I  may  be  able  to 
atone  for  my  past.  Will  you  not  try  to  save  me  from 
myself?" 

He  had  forgotten  his  dinner  and  was  growing  more 
feverish  and  excited  every  moment,  and  had  dropped 
upon  his  knees  beside  her  chair. 

"  Come,"  she  said,  gently  taking  him  by  the  hand  and 
compelling  him  to  arise.  She  led  him  to  a  reclining 
chair.  His  strength  was  spent  and  he  sank  into  it  help 
lessly. 

"  Forgive  me,"  she  said,  "if  I  cause  you  pain,"  and  she 
placed  her  hand  over  his,  "but  you  are  a  man  and  can 
bear  it  now.  I  forgive  you  fully  and  freely  for  all  the 
wrong  that  you  have  ever  done  me,  but  I  do  not  love  you 
and  can  never  marry  you." 

"  But  you  may  learn  to  love  me.  I  do  not  ask  it  now  ; 
in  a  year  or  two  years;  only  give  me  time  to  prove  myself 
worthy  of  your  love." 

"  No,"  she  said,  tightening  her  hand  over  his,  "  I  would 
not  marry  you  even  if  I  was  not  promised  to  another. 
You  may  not  be  willing  to  admit  this,  you  may  not  even 
know  it  yourself,  but  I  know  that  if  I  had  yielded  through 
love  for  you,  or  been  tempted  by  your  wealth,  you  would 
long  since  have  neglected  me  for  another,  and  it  would 
have  been  just  that  you  should;  but  God  has  given  us  no 


NAMING    THK    HA  BY.  385 

less  a  right  to  demand  of  a  husband  a  blameless  character. 
The  ten  commandments,  given  by  God,  were  intended 
for  all  alike,  and  at  the  gates  of  heaven  the  question  will 
not  arise  whether  the  wrong  doer  be  man  or  woman." 

"But  I  thought  that  you  believed  in  a  merciful  and 
forgiving  God,"  said  the  man,  clutching  like  a  drowning 
man  to  a  straw. 

"So  I  do,  but  he  only  forgives  those  who  prove  them 
selves  worthy  of  forgiveness,  and  we  have  no  right  to 
countenance  by  our  conduct  what  will  bar  men  out  of 
heaven  ;  and  not  only  that,  if  women,  the  beings  to  whom 
God  has  given  that  sacred  trust — the  motherhood  of  future 
generations — were  as  exacting  as  men  in  their  choice  of 
companions,  the  result  could  not  fail  to  speak  in  tones  of 
thanksgiving  and  praise  through  the  health  and  morals 
of  the  whole  human  race.  I  do  not  say  this  as  a  dis 
penser  of  justice,  but  only  as  one  woman  speaking  to  one 
man  the  sentiments  of  her  heart." 

"  Mrs.  Grey,  I  know  better  than  any  one,  except  God, 
that  I  am  not  worthy  of  you,  although  the  worst  of  us 
demand  a  blameless  character  as  our  right.  My  punish 
ment  is  just,  but  I  can  not  bow  to  it  since  it  denies  me 
my  heart's  greatest  desire." 

"Forgive  me  if  I  have  caused  you  pain,"  she  said, 
placing  her  hand  for  a  moment  over  his  month.  "  I  forbid 
you  to  talk  any  more  now,  but  remember  that  I  am  your 
friend.  If  you  wish  it,  and  promise  never  to  speak  to  me 
on  this  subject  again,  I  will  still  be  your  nurse." 

"I  do  wish  it,"  he  said,  taking  her  hand  from  his 
mouth  and  holding  it  a  moment,  then  raising  it  to  Ins 
lips.  "  I  would  make  you  any  promise  to  keep  you  here.' 
Then  he  said,  as  if  to  himself,  "Thank  God  for  one  gentle, 
kind-heaited  woman,  even  though  she  be  not  for  me." 
He  bore  his  punishment  well,  only  once  again  did  he 
refer  to  the  forbidden  subject. 


386  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

"Mrs.  Grey,"  he  said  to  her  one  day,  "may  I  ask  you 
one  more  question?"  He  had  been  feverish  and  weak 
and  threatened  with  a  return  of  the  fever  in  all  its  violence, 
and  his  .nurse  was  if  possible  more  kind  and  gentle  than 
ever. 

"More  than  one,"  she  said,  "  if  they  are  such  as  I  can 
answer." 

"  I  just  want  to  ask  one,"  he  said.  "Is  Dr.  Enod  the 
man  that  you  are  engaged  to?" 

"Yes,"  she  said  in  her  straightforward  way. 

"I  thank  you  for  your  candor;  I  would  a  little  rather 
he  had  you  than  some  one  else,"  but  she  raised  a  warning 
finger.  The  man  smiled  faintly  and  was  silent.  He 
began  to  mend  anew  and  it  was  hoped  that  he  would  be 
able  to  leave  the  hospital  by  the  middle  of  January.  The 
doctor  was  delighted,  because  now  he  was  granted  more 
of  the  society  ot  his  promised  bride.  But  the  patient 
was  still  exacting  and  declared  that  since  he  was  not  an 
object  of  charity,  but  willing  to  pay  any  price  for  his  care, 
he  had  a  right  to  the  best  nurse  that  the  house  afforded, 
and  as  much  of  her  time  as  he  might  choose. 

Mary  Grey,  with  nothing  but  pity  at  her  heart,  hu 
mored  the  sick  man's  whims  and  was  untiring  in  her  at 
tentions. 


CHAPTER  XXXVIII. 

Tin-;    CONCLUSION. 

THERE  was  a  wedding  in  the  hospital  parlors,  on  the 
evening  of  the  iSth  of  January.  The  doctor  had 
grown  impatient  of  delay,  and  as  he  said,  had  taken  mat 
ters  into  his  own  hands,  but  any  one  who  was  familiar 
with  his  movements  knew  that  things  had  been  in  his 
hands  ever  since  the  evening  when  Mrs.  Grey  had  made 
him  the  happiest  of  men  with  her  simple  yes. 

He  had  been  busy  from  morning  until  night,  oversee 
ing  certain  proceedings  in  a  stately  residence  on  a  quiet 
street,  where  he  had  been  in  constant  demand  by  either 
the  upholsterer,  paper  hanger  or  carpet  men.  And  ac 
companied  by  a  young  lady  cousin,  he  made  numerous 
mysterious  excursions  from  the  stores  to  the  dressmakers. 
This  he  was  called  upon  so  often  to  do,  that  the  man 
began  to  wonder  how  women  had  enough  head  left  to 
take  care  of  themselves  without  a  guide,  after  they  had 
once  made  their  toilet. 

Mrs.  Tinly  had  also  been  taken  into  confidence,  and 
had  lent  valuable  aid  in  the  way  of  measures  and  si/es. 
So  industrious  had  they  been  that  the  preparations  were 
all  completed  several  days  before  the  appointed  time. 
Mrs.  Grey  was  not  let  into  the  secret  until  the  eleventh 
hour. 

On  the  morning  of  the  iMlh  Doctor  Enod  asked  her  to 
accompany  him  on  a  tour  of  inspection,  as  he  called  it. 
She  had  gone  with  him,  little  dreaming  what  she  was  to 
inspect.  He  took  her  straight  to  the  home  he  had  been 
preparing  for  her,  and  led  her  from  one  to  the  other  ot 
the  spacious  and  elegantly  furnished  rooms.  Alter  she 


388  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

had  been  through  all  with  the  exception  of  her  own  dress 
ing  room,  he  turned  to  her  and  said  :  "  This  is  your  home, 
darling,  how  do  you  like  it?" 

"And  who  has  been  doing  all  this  beautiful  work  for 
me,"  she  said,  throwing  her  arms  for  tlje  first  time  about 
his  neck. 

"  People  who  ask  no  other  return,  only  that  you  will 
like  it  and  be  happy." 

"How  could  I  be  otherwise?  You  are  certainly  the 
best  of  men.  And  you  did  it  all  for  me?" 

"  I  did  it  all  for  you.  But  you  know  that  pleasing  you 
insures  my  own  happiness.  Now  if  you  are  pleased  with 
the  house,  I  will  show  you  something  else."  So  with  his 
arm  about  her  waist  he  led  her  into  the  next  room. 

Here  she  found  such  an  outfit  as  only  love  and  care 
could  have  planned  ;  not  one  of  gay  colors  and  senseless 
display,  but  such  a  one  as  would  please  any  womanly 
woman's  heart.  Kverything  was  of  the  best  texture. 
Down  to  the  minutest  detail  nothing  had  been  forgotten. 

"  Do  these  things  please  you,  pet?" 

"  I  can  hardly  believe  that  all  these  things  have  been 
done  for  me.  Am  I  worthy  of  all  this  kindness  and 
care  ?"  said  the  happy  woman,  smiling  through  her  tears. 

"  Yes ;  this  much,  and  many  times  more.  I  intend  to 
spend  my  whole  life  in  proving  how  much  you  are  worth 
to  me.  But  I  am  a  man,  and  consequently  a  selfish 
animal,  and  now  I  am  going  to  demand  my  price,  and 
that  is  that  you  consent  to  our  being  married  this  even 
ing.  Will  you  accept  my  terms?" 

She  began  as  if  to  raise  objections,  but  he  placed  his 
hand  over  her  mouth.  "  It  was  because  I  was  afraid  of 
those  objections  that  I  have  done  all  this  without  your 
knowledge.  But  now  everything  is  in  readiness,  and 
you  would  not  deny  me,  I  know.  We  will  be  married 


TIIK    CONCLUSION.  -^9 

in  the  hospital  parlor,  then  come  directly  home.  My 
cousin,  who  has  helped  to  plan  this  wardrobe,  will  come 
and  help  make  what  further  arrangements  may  be  neces 
sary.  I  have  even  gone  >o  far  as  to  procure  the  license 
and  engage  the  minister,  but  I  know  that  you  will  for 
give  me." 

"  There  is  nothing  to  forgive  :  you  are  too  kind  to  me. 
There  is  only  one  thing  that  I  regret,  I  wish  that  we 
could  have  waited  until  Mr.  Alton  was  gone." 

"  If  he  is  bound  to  linger  I  am  not  to  blame.  I  gave 
him  plenty  of  time  to  get  away.  I  think  it  is  because  he- 
is  a  little  overfond  of  being  nursed  that  he  does  not 
grow  strong  faster.  It  will  be  good  enough  for  him.  If 
he  is  a  man  let  him  prove  himself.  You  would  not  dis 
appoint  me  on  his  account,  would  you  ?" 

"  Xo,  I  would  not  disappcrint  you:  but  lie  has  suffered 
much,  and  I  would  have  spared  him  this." 

"  You  are  a  tender-hearted  little  woman,  and  I  only 
hope  that  I  can  prove  myself  worthy  of  you.  Tonight  it 
shall  be  then.  Thank  you,  darling." 

"  If  it  is  to  be  so  soon,  I  can  not  even  remain  longer  to 
be  praised  and  petted,"  she  said  looking  at  him  archly. 

He  released  her  reluctantly.  "  Since  it  is  to  be  so  soon 
I  ought  to  be  willing  to  let  you  go.  \Ye  ordered  this 
white  for  you  to  be  married  in.  I  will  have  it  sent  to 
you  in  good  time,"  said  the  man,  as  they  lett  the  room. 
"  Your  friend,  Mrs.  Tinly,  has  rendered  valuable  aid  to 
us,"  he  said  to  her  on  the  way  home.  "  .She  and  her 
husband  and  little  Mary  are  coming  to  see  us  married. 
I  have  ordered  a  carriage  to  bring  them.  I  thought  that 
you  would  want  them  there." 

"  I  am  so  glad  that  you  have  not  forgotten  them.  But 
how  will  I  ever  thank  you  tor  your  kindness  .J" 

"  By  being  happy,"    was  the  reply. 


390  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

When  Mrs.  Grey  returned  to  her  patient's  room,  she 
found  that  he  was  ready  to  leave.  One  of  the  chamber 
maids  had  just  heard  the  news  that  there  was  to  be  a 
wedding  in  the  parlor.  She  was  so  exercised  over  the 
anticipated  affair  when  she  went  to  arrange  his  room  that 
she  began  to  talk  of  it  at  once,  and  before  Mrs.  Grey 
knew  of  it  herself,  Fred.  Alton  had  heard  the  whole  story, 
how  the  wealthy  and  handsome  Doctor  Enod  was  going 
to  marry  Mrs.  Grey,  the  best  and  kindest  nurse  in  the 
whole  place. 

He  had  listened  without  a  word,  but  as  soon  as  the 
girl  was  gone  he  packed  his  valise.  That  was  all  that  he 
had  in  the  carriage  with  him  at  the  time  of  the  accident. 
He  then  sat  down  to  wait.  He  wanted  to  see  the  face  of 
his  nurse  once  more,  and  bid  her  good-bye,  if  some  one 
else  was  going  to  claim  her  that  very  evening. 

Mrs.  Grey  could  not  conceal  her  happy  smile,  but  she 
stopped  short  when  her  eyes  fell  upon  the  man's  valise 
and  hat.  Her  own  happiness  convicted  her,  and  she 
said  hastily,  "  Why,  Mr.  Alton,  are  you  sure  that  you  are 
able  to  leave?" 

"  Strong  enough,"  was  his  curt  reply,  "  and  since  I 
am  about  to  lose  my  nurse,  there  is  no  longer  any  in 
ducement  to  be  sick.  I  wanted  to  say  good-bye  before  I 
go.  I  can  not  bear  to  see  you  married.  Good-bye,  Mrs. 
Grey,  God  bless  you.  Think  of  me  kindly  sometimes 
when  you  are  in  your  happy  home.'"  He  had  caught 
her  by  both  hands,  and  kissed  first  one  then  the  other. 
"  Now  I  am  going  to  ask  one  boon  of  you,  and  if  you 
love,  or  have  any  mercy  for  my  unworthy  soul,  you  will 
not  refuse  it.  It  is  not  much,  only  that  you  kiss  me  once 
before  I  go.  You  will  be  no  less  a  woman,  and  it  may 
help  to  make  a  man  of  me.  Thank  you,"  he  said,  as  her 
lips  were  raised  to  his  forehead,  which  he  had  bared,  and 


THE    CONCLUSION. 


391 


the  next  moment  he  was  gone,  and  the  heartfelt  sym 
pathy  of  Mary  Grey  went  with  him.  Her  happiness  soft 
ened  her  toward  the  whole  human  family. 

She  went  from  one  to  the  other  of  the  patients,  and 
talked  to  and  petted  them  until  they  forgot  their  pain. 
She  wrote  a  letter  to  Mrs.  Ferris,  telling  her  of  her  ap 
proaching  marriage.  "  Tell  all  my  friends  that  I  send 
them  the  news  through  you."  Her  happiness  did  not 
cause  her  to  forget  her  first  love,  and  if  such  a  thing  were 
possible  her  thoughts  of  him  were  more  tender  than 
ever.  The  memory  of  him  who  was  the  source  of  her 
youthful  joys  and  early  sorrows,  so  softened  her  heart 
that  great  tears  rolled  down  her  cheeks,  but  not  tears  of 
remorse.  "  You  are  happy  in  heaven,  Robert,  you  do 
not  need  me  now,"  she  thought. 

After  the  tears  of  emotion  were  spent,  the  sunshine  of 
peace  flooded  her  heart,  caused  not  alone  by  her  present 
joy,  but  also  by  the  memories  of  a  happy  past,  memories 
which  nothing  on  earth  would  have  the  power  to  blot  out. 

That  evening  promptly  at  seven,  the  ceremony  was 
performed  which  made  Mrs.  Grey  and  Doctor  Knod  man 
and  wife.  It  was  witnessed  by  the  superintendent's  fam 
ily,  the  nurses,  attendants,  convalescents,  and  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Tinly.  The  sailor,  who  had  hobbled  in  on  his 
crutches,  gave  the  bride  away,  although  he  declared  that 
he  would  much  rather  have  had  her  himself. 

Surely  the  little  assembly  had  never  seen  a  couple  so 
well  suited  to  each  other,  a  more  beautiful  bride,  or  hand 
somer  groom.  Not  alone  the  beauty  that  fadeth  away, 
but  the  lofty  expression  which  comes  from  good  resolves 
and  noble  aims.  And  good  wishes  were  never  more 
heartfelt  than  were  those  which  were  showered  upon  the 
happy  pair. 

After  the  ceremony   Mr.  and  Mrs.    Knod   went  directly 


3Q2  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

to  their  home,  but  not  before  the  bride  had  taken  time  to 
fondle  the  baby  Mar}-,  nor  before  the  proud  mother  had 
been  given  time  to  draw  attention  to  some  wonderful 
accomplishments  which  the  little  tot  had  by  this  time 
mastered,  which  were  duly  praised. 

Then  Mrs.  Enod  went  from  under  the  roof  which  was 
to  know  her  no  more  as  a  nurse,  but  it  was  to  know  her 
ever  after  as  a  kind  friend  and  benefactor.  And  many 
were  the  delicacies  that  were  not  merely  sent  there,  but 
administered  to  the  patients  by  her  own  kind  hands,  and 
made  'doubly  tempting  by  her  winning  smile. 

There  never  was  a  happier  or  more  tender  bride  than 
graced  the  home  of  Doctor  Enod,  and  there  never  was  a 
pair  bound  together  by  stronger  affections ;  not  the  fitful, 
feverish  and  sometimes  capricious  love  of  youth,  but  the 
attachment  of  mature  years,  broad  and  deep,  which  would 
ever  gain  strength  in  new  found  worth  in  its  object. 

Together  they  set  about  doing  \vhat  was  nearest  their 
hearts.  Mrs.  Enod  never  forgot  her  old,  sly  way  of  doing 
good,  in  a  manner  that  made  the  recipient  of  her  bounty 
feel  as  if  they  themselves  were  responsible  for  the  good 
which  they  received.  Little  Mary  Tinly  she  clothed, 
claiming  that  as  the  right  of  a  godmother,  and  when 
there  was  quite  a  little  group,  by  the  addition  of  another 
little  girl,  and  then  a  little  son,  her  right  was  even  ex 
tended  to  them.  Through  the  influence  of  the  doctor 
the  young  mechanic  secured  a  position,  which  was  better 
pay  and  not  so  dangerous  to  life  and  limb,  and  he  was 
established  as  shipping  clerk  in  one  of  the  large  whole 
sale  houses.  Soon  their  cottage  was  left  for  a  more 
spacious  house,  to  make  room  for  the  growing  family. 
As  the  children  grew  up  they  received  the  education 
which  circumstances  had  denied  to  the  mother  and  father, 
and  aside  from  the  doctor  and  his  wife  there  was  not  a 
happier  family  in  all  the  east. 


THE   CONCLUSION.  393 

Mrs.  Enod  still  kept  up  her  correspondence  with  Mrs. 
Ferris,  and  a  few  years  after  her  marriage  she  with  her 
husband  accepted  an  invitation  to  make  a  visit  to  Clover- 
dale.  With  the  exception  of  a  few  births,  marriages  and 
deaths,  the  place  was  just  as  Mrs.  Grey  had  left  it.  The 
only  difference  was  that  most  of  the  people  kept  at  a  re 
spectful  distance.  They  stood  just  a  little  in  awe  of  the 
dignified  doctor,  and  also  of  his  wife,  for  having  come 
into  such  wonderful  good  fortune. 

Colonel  YVilkins  was  still  single,  she  was  told.     He  had 
been  so  devoted  to  his  wife,  and  did  not  believe  in  second  • 
marriages.     The  boys  had  grown  up  to  be  young  men 
and   were  away   at    college,   and  Aunt   Minnie   and    her 
brother  were  alone  in  their  country  home. 

Mrs.  Jones  and  Mrs.  Dixon,  and  other  kindred  spirits, 
were  still  employing  themselves  in  heralding  coming 
events,  and  adding  to  their  interest  as  the}'  transpired. 

Whether  Miss  Green  was  most  to  be  pitied  or  blamed, 
was  not  known,  but  no  one  had  as  yet  cared  to  extricate 
her  from  the  uncertain  joys  of  single  blessedness.  vShe 
and  Tommy  had  not  yet  buried  the  hatchet,  as  he  had 
once  expressed  it ;  and  since  the  victory  is  not  to  the 
strong  but  to  the  persistent,  and  neither  of  them  was  de 
ficient  in  that  virtue,  it  might,  to  use  another  of  Tommy's 
sayings,  take  many  more  eveners  to  bring  things  to  a 
satisfactory  termination. 

Deacon  Hill  and  his  wife  were  still  taking  life  easy, 
the  deacon  doing  the  talking  and  Betsey  doing  the  listen 
ing.  Their  daughter  Bessie  was  soon  to  marry  vSquire 
Whitby's  son.  This  was  a  source  of  great  sorrow  to  the 
fond  parents'  hearts.  Their  one  birdling  was  soon  to 
leave  the  home  nest. 

From  Mrs.  Ferris,  Mrs.  Enod  learned  that  Fred.  Alton 
had  drifted  about,  here  and  there  for  a  time,  and  had  just 


394  HE    WOULD    HAVE    ME    BE    BRAVE. 

recently  married  the  widow  Enod.  After  the  doctor's 
marriage  he  had  never  heard  from  his  sister-in-law,  and 
this  was  news  to  him,  but  he  was  not  surprised  to  hear 
that  a  few  things  had  been  learned  that  made  it  appear 
as  if  the  union  would  not  be  a  happy  one.  "  They  say 
that  she  is  already  furiously  jealous  of  him,  and  that  alone 
is  cause  enough  for  unhappiness,"  concluded  Mrs.  Ferris. 
"I  feel. sorry  for  Fred.,  he  is  a  good-hearted  boy,"  said 
the  sister. 

Busy  people  can  not  indulge  in  long  visits,  and  the 
doctor's  practice  soon  called  him  home,  at  least  so  he 
claimed.  But  the  secret  of  the  matter  was,  that  since  he 
had  been  so  long  in  finding  a  home  it  was  all  the  sweeter 
to  him  now,  and  he  was  never  satisfied  away  from  it. 

So  those  two  returned  to  the  home  where  peace  and 
contentment  reigned.  The  woman  in  whose  heart  her 
own  experience  had  only  strengthened  the  spirit  of  charity 
and  mercy  for  even  the  basest  of  earth's  creatures  to  the 
life  which  she  had  so  long  planned  for  herself.  Her  noble 
husband  to  be  her  aid  and  abettor.  Providence  had  in 
trusted  them  with  wealth  and  influence  and  the  trust  had 
not  been  misplaced;  they  bore  it  modestly  and  exercised 
it  to  God's  own  purpose.  The}*  helped  to  feed  the  hungry 
and  clothe  the  poor.  They  not  only  pointed  out  the  right 
course  to  the  wandering  wayfarer,  but  took  them  by  the 
hand  and  endeavored  to  lead  them  back  to  the  paths  of 
rectitude. 

The  blessing  of  having  children  of  their  own  was 
denied  them  and  the  hearts  of  both  were  sometimes 
filled  with  longing.  "  But  God  knows  all  things  best," 
said  Mrs.  Enod  to  her  husband.  "If  we  had  children  of 
our  own  we  might  grow  selfish  and  forget  the  man}'  help 
less  little  things  which  we  are  permitted  to  keep  from 
starvation  and  want." 


THK    CONCLUSION.  395 

"  Yes,"  was  his  fond  reply,  "  if  my  wife  had  children  of 
her  own  to  care  for,  she  could  not  be  the  little  mother  to 
the  many,  both  high  and  low,  black  and  white,  that  come 
in  for  an  equal  share  of  her  affections.  But  I  do  not  care 
how  many  she  loves,  as  long  as  she  keeps  a  good  share  of 
her  tender  heart  for  me." 

"  I  have  never  given  you  cause  for  complaint,  have  I 
dear?"  she  said,  stealing  her  arm  through  his  and  laying 
her  head  against  his  shoulder. 

"  No,  thank  God  for  such  a  wife.  The  more  that  bring 
in  a  claim  for  her  attention,  the  more  loving  her  heart 
becomes  toward  her  husband."  He  drew  her  closer  to 
his  side  and  so  we  leave  them. 


THK  KND. 


